Quick question on "Christians"
Not sure exactly what the question is here but I'll try: Generic definition of a Christian is "someone who follows Christ". Unfortunately, as you note, many "Christian" groups cannot agree on how exactly to do that. Now, the Bible warns multiple times about false teachers and false Christians, even Jesus said, "Not everyone who calls me Lord will enter the kingdom of Heaven", so just because you say you're a Christian doesn't mean you are. I've already expressed my distaste for the current political arm of Christianity. Some involved may well be genuine Christians, just misguided - as I posted before they truly believe this is a battle God wants them to fight. But, the Church has been political for centuries - look at the Roman Catholic church through the Middle Ages. This is something it was never meant to be. The Pharisees tried to trip Jesus up by getting Him to take a political stance, but He always wisely avoided doing so - that wasn't why He was here, and it is not why Christians are still here today (at least it shouldn't be).
Someone who is gay is a human, just like me. Humans are sinners just like me (whether being or acting on gay impulses is a sin, who cares). I HIGHLY doubt the the Jesus that I worship would be making such a big deal about this. What would he have done? He would have greeted them with open arms, shared a meal, and told them God loves them just the way they are.
This. The only people Jesus judged/condemned during His time on earth were not "sinners" (or gays), but the religious leaders who thought they were righteous. He hung out with the sinners.
The question, for the Christian, is "how should I deal with/react to sin?" For many things, Christians and the rest of the world are on the same page - murder, rape, etc. are wrong and should be punished. "Sins" that don't hurt anyone, (like homosexuality, fornication, pornography, piracy
, etc.) society says you should tolerate these things - live and let live. Christians realize that you shouldn't just shrug your shoulders and ignore sin, it needs to be dealt with. So the answer they came up with is "love the sinner, hate the sin", so now, instead of offering tolerance, the Christians offer hate, and wonder why everyone thinks they're bigots.
An analogy: Sin is said to be like a cancer. If you were diagnosed with cancer and your Dr said, "Well, it is really no big deal, we'll just let it go," and tolerated/ignored it, that might be more comfortable in the short term, but it doesn't deal with the thing that will kill you. So you go to the Christian Dr. and he berates you for having cancer in the first place, tries to convince you that cancer isn't natural, hands you a knife and says, "I'm not helping you until you cut that evil cancer out of your body." Which would you choose? We need a third choice. How did Jesus deal with sin? When they brought a paralyzed man to Jesus to be healed, Jesus said to him, "My son, I hate your sin." Wait... no He didn't! He said "Your sins are forgiven" To the woman who committed adultery, did Jesus say, "Well, I've never sinned" and wing a stone at her? No, He said "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more" Jesus didn't offer tolerance or hatred for sin, He offered forgiveness - He healed the cancer. Then He died to pay for that forgiveness. If the church really wants to "bring people to Jesus" they need to ditch the hate and start offering forgiveness.
According to the Bible, being gay doesn't send you to Hell. Neither does murder, lying, hypocrisy, or general selfishness. Jesus very clearly explained what does condemn you - y'all know John 3:16? (if not look it up)... right after that Jesus says that He "did not come into the world to condemn the world but that the world through Him would be saved." He goes on to identify those who are condemned - is it the gay community? No - "he that believes not is condemned already... because they love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil." It is those who don't believe - period - who are condemned. This is echoed in 2nd Thessalonians chpt. 1 where Paul describes a wrathful Jesus at His Second Coming "In flaming fire taking vengeance on them who" who what? are gay? no..."who do not know God, who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ." Again, judgment/condemnation based on belief not sin. EVERYONE has sinned, it just depends on whether you'd rather stay as you are, or be cured.