# Should spanking your child be illegal?



## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

Should it be illegal to spank your child?



I was just wondering how you guys feel about spanking a child that has seriously misbehaved. I am not about abusing a child, making them bruised or bloody or anything more intense than a spank that only causes fleeting pain.

In my area, spanking is perfectly legal, but I also know many places that spanking a child is considered abuse.

Please partake in the poll and give us the reason for your answer in the comments.

I thank you all for taking your time. Have a great day!


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## kumikochan (May 23, 2019)

I know in countries like France it is illegal to even slap someone on the wrist but i know in Belgium it is considered fine. I guess it depends where you live but spanking is a bit 2 much but a slap on the wrist should be okay.


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## Lucifer666 (May 23, 2019)

If spanking or anything to the effect of hitting/slapping is the only way one has to get the message across to one's child, then one should not be a parent.


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## Alexander1970 (May 23, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> Should it be illegal to spank your child?
> View attachment 167887​I was just wondering how you guys feel about spanking a child that has seriously misbehaved. I am not about abusing a child, making them bruised or bloody or anything more intense than a spank that only causes fleeting pain.
> 
> In my area, spanking is perfectly legal, but I also know many places that spanking a child is considered abuse.
> ...



For this "Question" you´ll get burned alive here in Austria.
Spanking a child,your OWN,thats even worse (and just as adults in first line women) is Number ONE on the list of the worst things here.
Not murdering,not robbery,not raping........

It takes too much time and lines to describe this "attitude" for spanking that has drastic changed in the last 20 years in austria.

For me,too much.
They simply can not find a middle ground or compromise.....


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

Lucifer666 said:


> If spanking or anything to the effect of hitting/slapping is the only way one has to get the message across to one's child, then one should not be a parent.


Abuse is abuse. Hitting a child over absolutely anything is just wrong. I am talking more like if the behavior was extreme, like that child was trying to drown your cat in the toilet, or you have already done every punishment from timeouts, grounding, crappy chores and manual labor and the kid is still grossly misbehaving.


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## Dust2dust (May 23, 2019)

While spanking a child is probably not illegal where I live, I think it sends a confusing message to the child.  "If my dad (or mom) loves me like he says, why does he hurt me like that?" He might also develop a fear of doing anything slightly wrong, just in case the parent snaps, and spanks him.  Growing up in a semi-terrorized state is not a good thing.  And there are so many harmless ways to punish misbehaviours from a child.  Just need to be creative and hit (not physically) where it will hurt him (again not physically) the most.  And I don't mean screaming at him or demeaning him either.  Just taking away some privileges should do the trick.


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## Lucifer666 (May 23, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> Abuse is abuse. Hitting a child over absolutely anything is just wrong. I am talking more like if the behavior was extreme, like that child was trying to drown your cat in the toilet, or you have already done every punishment from timeouts, grounding, crappy chores and manual labor and the kid is still grossly misbehaving.


Have them remain grounded and revoke further privileges (no more games, no more chocolate, etc. etc. you can't run out of these really) eventually they will be desperate to get out of that situation themselves, which is better than not even being convinced, just coerced because a spank physically hurts.


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## Skelletonike (May 23, 2019)

Spanking should not be illegal.

Spanking a kid and hitting him are different things. I believe spanking does good and is needed at times. Nowadays people are too afraid of everything. 

Giving your kid a love tap sometimes, it won't harm the kid and it'll help him learn. I don't mean beating them up, which most people seem to think it's what spanking is all about.


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## AmandaRose (May 23, 2019)

Hmm interesting read. 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...ng-children-is-banned-are-safer-to-grow-up-in


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## Chary (May 23, 2019)

I think spanking a kid for misbehaving is a terrible way to parent, but I'm uncertain if it should be an illegal offense. I'm not sure I like the idea of the government decreeing how adults should raise their children, though, at the same time, you really shouldn't be smacking a hit to "teach" them lessons imo.


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## CORE (May 23, 2019)

If you have the right stance and Tone of Voice there is no need in most cases and Grounding does not work just creates more Anger and Frustration a good slap puts the child in its place and move on dont do it again.

As a child I was a Devil and got my fair share and Love my Family and Respect them something that is lacking nowadays No Honor , Loyalty or Respect.

If you dont Love me You will Fear me You Fear me because you have done something wrong not through my doing your own.
One of these Days you will thank me and that is so True.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

Lucifer666 said:


> Have them remain grounded and revoke further privileges (no more games, no more chocolate, etc. etc. you can't run out of these really) eventually they will be desperate to get out of that situation themselves, which is better than not even being convinced, just coerced because a spank physically hurts.


Some therapists now say that a grounding longer than 2 weeks becomes ineffective.

My wifes nephew kept havign issues with porn, constantly stealing other people devices and looking up porn on them. You could imagine my wifes face when she took her daughter to cheerleading practice and her daughter pulled out her ipod to show off pictures of her cat and there was dozens of porn pics that all these 8 year old girls saw. I struggled with the boy for 5 years to deal with his rampant porn issue that was causing major problems within the family.

Try to tell me that these kids do not need a spank...


IIRC. The kid in the second video was caught keying cars or something like that. The original video is much longer and it shows the kid swearing at everyone and absolutely freaking out. Yes, the parents are terrible as well and need to get handed some punishment too. But many times the child has just gotten too out of control no matter how good of a job the parent did.

Some people go around their whole life talking shit to people and thinking "Yeah, you can't do shit to me" and they keep instigating people. It isn't until someone finally snaps and punching them in the mouth do they finally smarten the hell up. I know when I was a kid I was quite the little shit. I certainly needed my ass handed to me, and I would say that I have learned quite well from those lessons and never repeated those behaviors. My father has whooped my ass multiple times when I did some rather terrible things, and I deserved it, but I also learned it.

I feel spanking a child is alright when it is used as a last measure.
Not every child responds well to being spanked like I did. Some children are just sociopaths and things like that doesn't matter to them and they don't give a damn and will do whatever they want... and then end up in prison later on in life.


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## Hanafuda (May 23, 2019)

Lucifer666 said:


> If spanking or anything to the effect of hitting/slapping is the only way one has to get the message across to one's child, then one should not be a parent.



Nobody (I hope) would endorse spanking as 'the only way' of disciplining. It should be near the end of the spectrum, reserved for extreme wrongs or when other efforts haven't produced a change in behavior. But to dismiss anyone who resorts to spanking as being unfit to be a parent at all is too absolute. I've raised two, a son who is now 26, a daughter who is 15. I spanked my son on two occasions. The first time was when he stuffed about 10 gamecube discs in his pocket and snuck them out of the house to take to a friend's after a game had been stolen from him the previous day (he couldn't say which 'friend' it was who took it). He'd been told not to take his games out of the house anymore without permission. He ended up playing football too, and all the discs were ruined. About $300 wasted. The second time was when he, at about 13 years old, hit his two year old sister. I don't regret either instance. I don't think a stern reprimand, grounding and etc. would've been appropriate or effective at conveying how serious a mistake had been made.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

@Hanafuda 
My daughter was kicking and spitting on her bus driver while the bus was moving. Damn straight my daughter got a few well placed spankings. My daughter was jeopardizing the safety of everyone on the bus because she wanted to act out. Not only the safety part, but you damn well do not spit on people or kick someone that has not attempted to harm you first. I do not regret that. She never spit on anyone again after that.
A neighbor had called DCYF on me because I did spank her. The woman from DCYF shrugged and said "I would have done the same if it was my child".


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## Deleted User (May 23, 2019)

Should any human be able to reproduce if they're not going to educate their spoiled children?

Consider that.

I grew with my parents "spanking" me. This is a traditional Mexico's way to educate children.
I grew up just fine, and thought I've promised to myself to never hurt my children, I'm willing to do so if they're deviating from the right path.
MAYBE I NEEDED MORE VIOLENCE IN MY EDUCATION. Perhaps my life would've been much different if my parents had the guts to do so.

This sounds weird? Maybe, but it's the truth.

Children are too stupid to let them do whatever the heck they want to. Some of them, if not most of them, needs a nice leather belt on their asses. Should be illegal? NO
Should be legal to let some stupid teenager get pregnant and let her choose not to take care of her children, let alone educating them in the first place? YES


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## Issac (May 23, 2019)

For me, the feeling of my parents being angry or disappointed in me hurt a lot more than a spanking would. 
I think spanking is illegal here, and even if it wasn't I would never do that.


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## Dust2dust (May 23, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> IIRC. The kid in the second video was caught keying cars or something like that.


That second video reminded me of something that happened to me once.  I was in my 30's. I was in a book store and just browsing the books, like all the other customers, when suddenly an old lady (problably 60 something) started to try to hit me.  I was flabbergasted by the ridiculous situation, and was just blocking her attempts.  What else could I do? I wasn't going to hit her back.  Eventually, she just calmed down and went away.  The other customers were just as puzzled as I was.  I guess mental illness was the issue here.  She must have thought I was the devil, or something...


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## FAST6191 (May 23, 2019)

Would I do it? Probably not. It does not see me have some kind of visceral negative reaction like some of the words here would seem to indicate some posters have. At the same time there are far better ways of achieving things in your otherwise normal children -- children are always falling over so physical pain is nothing much to them, most don't have strong mental barriers yet (even those that have some lack others) so far less tiring and far more effective. Don't know if I would call the physical stuff entirely ineffective though. If I were to do the physical ones then stress positions, possibly also coupled with some good embarrassment*, would be where I go, or possibly martial training -- punching ice water really sucks.
If my teenager kid thought themselves a big one and wanted to put on some gloves and step in a ring with me. All for that.

*throw a tantrum in the supermarket? I will be standing here for the next 5 minutes doing a puzzle on this cereal box, you will be in an embarrassing stress position.

Should it be illegal? Would not be a law I support. Not entirely sure what grounds I would object upon -- does not have any particularly clear free speech, personal liberty, "liberty to raise my kids the way I feel" cases from where I sit but a combo of the lot probably would get there.

Should I be foolish enough to knock someone up and stick around to raise the results would I stay with someone that thought it a good plan? Wouldn't be a dealbreaker, probably would question it though. Wouldn't question a friend directly.

Limits? Intentionally causing scars is right out. Blood is not much better. Welts is probably a bit excessive. Some modifiers for age as well. This also speaks to why it is not the most effective -- if what you get is no different to what you get when otherwise general rough and tumble is the order of the day then does it mean that much?

Related. Corporal punishment in schools. Absolutely not. No objection to knackering kids out by having them run or pedal or swim or something though.


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## kumikochan (May 23, 2019)

Just going to leave this here


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

I remember as a kid my principal at the private christian school I went to would spank children, usually rougher than the parents would do it.

I absolutely object to any school figure spanking my child, but if my child brings a knife to school and is trying to stab someone, then yes anyone please punch my kid in the face before my child hurts someone else or gets shot by a cop.


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## the_randomizer (May 23, 2019)

Maybe parents should actually learn to grow up and properly discipline their children instead of taking the coward's way out thinking that physical discipline is effective.


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## FAST6191 (May 23, 2019)

the_randomizer said:


> Maybe parents should actually learn to grow up and properly discipline their children instead of taking the coward's way out thinking that physical discipline is effective.


Is it ineffective then?



DeadlyFoez said:


> I absolutely object to any school figure spanking my child, but if my child brings a knife to school and is trying to stab someone, then yes anyone please punch my kid in the face before my child hurts someone else or gets shot by a cop.


There is a difference between self defence and discipline; such a scenario would fairly easily be categorised as the former.

That said speaking to some of the teachers I had at school then they were extremely limited in what they could do -- two kids fighting and they could not physically break them up.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

the_randomizer said:


> Maybe parents should actually learn to grow up and properly discipline their children instead of taking the coward's way out thinking that physical discipline is effective.


I love ya man, but I do think that statement is a little... i don't want to say 'ignorant', maybe 'unexperienced'.

With the situation of my daughter kicking and spitting on her bus driver, my daughter already had 2 therapy sessions a week, plus sessions inside school, had tried medications, even hospitalizations because she was so out of control at times. I did everything I possibly could to teach this child to act more appropriately, including having dozens of professionals involved in with her ever since she was 2. Definitely, when it came down to something that was a true safety concern, there was no 'lets work on those behaviors in therapy over the next few months and lets pump up her dosage" crap. No, that was something that needed to be addressed sternly at that moment to make sure it was not going to happen then next day and possible cause an accident. And like I said, that spanking did cure that behavior.

Was my child mad at me? Of course, she was being a little shit. Does she still love me? Damn straight because I have done so much more in her life to show her love and being a father to her that her feelings about getting spanked did not get in the way of her knowing that I unconditionally love her.

And there lies where spanking can cause emotional scaring. If the child has no relationship with the parent at all and the only time the child see the parent is when they are getting punished, well then of course the child will will have resentment. There needs to be far more of a show of love in the relationship than punishment.

I used to FEAR my dad. He worked so much that I only saw him when I misbehaved too much that my mom couldn't handle me anymore and my dad would come and whoop my ass. I do think my dad was an asshole, but for other reasons. He was perfectly justified for dishing to me what I deserved and I am glad that he did.


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## JaapDaniels (May 23, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> I love ya man, but I do think that statement is a little... i don't want to say 'ignorant', maybe 'unexperienced'.
> 
> With the situation of my daughter kicking and spitting on her bus driver, my daughter already had 2 therapy sessions a week, plus sessions inside school, had tried medications, even hospitalizations because she was so out of control at times. I did everything I possibly could to teach this child to act more appropriately, including having dozens of professionals involved in with her ever since she was 2. Definitely, when it came down to something that was a true safety concern, there was no 'lets work on those behaviors in therapy over the next few months and lets pump up her dosage" crap. No, that was something that needed to be addressed sternly at that moment to make sure it was not going to happen then next day and possible cause an accident. And like I said, that spanking did cure that behavior.
> 
> ...


when you respond to to violence with violence, how ever small it seems to you it makes her brain see it like it's the standard, you are pushing her to using more violence each time.
so in wordt you'll teach her the opposite of what you think you're doing, she'll use more and more of it.
more so, she'll grow up to be lying to you since you're not that good for her and she'll knows it.
so if you can't when talking and punishing isn't working maybe the problem isn't on her side, maybe it's your side.
i mean if she's disobedient to you or anyone it means she goit a bad example, she doesn't respect you.
respect is not given it's given, so if you don't have it, go talk and see what part of you isn't clearly working proper.
not once i've seen a kid that turned good by slapping.
that being said, not talking and showing to the full extend you disagree with certain behavior sure that's not working.
don't force her to talk, but show interest in what's moving her to be disobedient.
maybe it's because you're listening to the wrong person too much, maybe it's because someone gave her a bad vibe by doing something unexpected.
maybe she thought she should trust someone she shouldn't.
you can repair this without using your wrist.
instead of talking, start listening, listen further then when she stops, give it time...
when i was you spanking was still legal here, and i see still the harm it costs...
still people can't really talk all free about feelings of thier past...
still people can't express themselves as they feel they are...
still those are frustrated...
still they can't really trust...
you really want your daughter to be alike?


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

JaapDaniels said:


> when you respond to to violence with violence.....


In most cases I would say that you could possibly be right, but you don't know my daughter, and I am not about to go through and detail what her problems are, but I have been a great parent as far as seeking out services and help instead just dealing with it all by myself.


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## Stwert (May 23, 2019)

Apparently in the UK were not allowed to do it. Which is probably a good thing. I doubt it’ll stop everyone.

While I am against serious abuse against anyone, especially children. I don’t think a little spank on the bum is the end of the world. Providing it is just a little spank and doesn’t go too far.

When I was a kid I received many, many slaps on the arse from my family. I was also hit with an army belt, shoes and many other objects that came to hand.

When I misbehaved at school I was hit across the back of my hands with a ruler. Whacked on the arse with a meter stick and once I even had a wooden duster thrown at me.

Never did me any harm and certainly taught me to behave - eventually. Or at the very least, when I needed to behave and how not to get caught


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## notimp (May 23, 2019)

Cant be enforced.


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## TerraCadence (May 23, 2019)

Hitting your children is always abuse, whether it's on the ass or the face. Spanking didn't make me behave better because when I was four years old I didn't understand why I was being hit. Just explain to your kid what they did wrong and ground them. All spanking did is make me sneakier with my bad behavior and eventually led to shoplifting and getting into trouble online very young.


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## Deleted User (May 23, 2019)

It should be illegal to not spank your child.


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## spectral (May 23, 2019)

Absolutely! If you did it to someone else(without consent obviously) it would be considered assault. A child should be entitled to the same legal protections everyone else is.


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## spotanjo3 (May 23, 2019)

People who think parents have a right to spank their children should be take away. Spanking is abuse, period.
Not spanking at all. Spanking won't helped anyway therefore it is still abuse anyway. 

Those kids should be teach and punished. That's parents responsibility to teach and discipline them correctly and if they refused to learn then punish them to teach them their lesson properly.


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## notimp (May 23, 2019)

Question - is it normal, that if you try to give kind of an emotional resolve to a thread - people instantly jump in to rekindle an emotional "fire" under a certain topic again.

What I mean by that is - that it cant be normal, that even moderators use terms like "manipulation machine" without reflection. (https://gbatemp.net/threads/feminis...ed-by-fake-studies.528883/page-5#post-8648551)

90% of the threads in this forum only get traction, because they focus on bait.


Should children be beaten.
Which is the better parenting method.
Three threads about amok shooters within a month.
Two threads about aborton within a month.
Trump and censorship
Two threads with indoctrination in the title, again within the same month.
Fake this, Fake that in the titles

Even I've cought myself playing the same game just to get responses.

Question - would moderators be willing to look into maybe rewriting titles to remove emotionally loaded terms?

(I know - censorship, but in concept it would be an interesting experiment. Currently people are mostly shouting prefab arguments against each other - I mean, this culture could be changed.  )


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## cots (May 23, 2019)

I was spanked as a child by my parents and by the local school district. It taught me that violence is okay and did not deter me from repeating the same behavior that got me in trouble to begin with. I also don't think it's anyone else's business if you're spanking your child or not because some the physical discipline did work on some of the other children I knew.


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## notimp (May 23, 2019)

I'll try again.

Your opinion on if spanking should be illegal will never matter. Because its a perfect example of a law you cant enforce. If you now "temp convince" somone on the internet that spanking is good/bad. Chances are, that you wont change their behavior with a conversation - for life.

The discussion doesnt take you anywhere.

The I was/wasn't spanked and I turned out A or B stories are interesting to read - maybe. But the premise - is false. You cant outlaw corporal punishment.

You only can do so - when it goes past the threshold of a child reaching a hospital, and staff there enacting a certain roadmap. Which - btw. is already in place in law. I'd bet in every country you possibly could be coming from.


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## osaka35 (May 23, 2019)

The science says it corrects surface behaviour sometimes, but creates a lot of cognitive issues and future problem behaviour. ultimately, it doesn't do what you think it's doing. Banning seems a bit much, but it's definitely incredibly dumb to do it knowing what we know now.


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## notimp (May 23, 2019)

osaka35 said:


> The science says it corrects surface behaviour sometimes, but creates an insane amount of problems underneath the surface. ultimately, it doesn't do what you think it's doing and will eventually result in potentially worse behaviour. Banning seems a bit much, but it's definitely incredibly dumb to do it knowing what we know now.


But I have different opinion, and the cycle continues. 

Now - whos getting baited first. 

edit: I should mention, that the reason why you cant ever enforce a law like this, is a concept called "privacy in peoples homes". And because spouses usually dont let each other go to jail, or pay a fine over loosing their temper - until its even pathologically speaking - far, far too late. So enforcing simply becomes impossible.

(Post privacy is just a marketing term, we arent really there..  )


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## gamesquest1 (May 23, 2019)

honestly im always in 2 minds in this regard siding more on the side of it not being allowed, but also see how it can be applied only as a very extreme measure it could potentially save lives, i was smacked very very occasionally as a child but when i was it was for very obvious reasons such as endangering myself or someone else, perfect example was me and a friend playing a stupid game of running across the road as cars were coming when we were about 7 , me being a naive child didn't factor in the real world implications, plus there was a certain level of peer pressure and bravado with playing out with my friends, one day my dad was coming home and seen us doing it, he gave me a smacked arse and i went home crying.....meanwhile my dad got some shit off the neighbour who's son I was playing with giving all these same arguments, "smacks don't teach anyone anything, nothing a stern word wouldn't resolve or no chocolate for a week etc".....except it was only about 2 weeks later my friend and another boy decided to play the same game and he ended up being hit by a car (he didn't die, but did have a broken leg).....personally i refused to play the game even though i was being called chicken for not doing so as i knew if my dad smacked me i didn't want to be caught doing it ever again....i know now as an adult i would much prefer a sore butt for a few minutes than a broken leg or death

but again i also have a certain level of repulsion when i see parents smacking their kids over petty stuff that sure a stern word or punishments would be more than enough....truth is where i live i have seen quite a few mothers completely flipping on small children who are obviously too young to even understand what they have done, unfortunately i feel its a useful tool in the right hands but absolutely devastating in the wrong ones, smacking should never be done except in very very extreme cases imho, somewhere where you never want to see a repeat of the behaviour under any circumstances where the child is risking their own life or the lives of others....and ofc once they get to a certain age where the kid has more cognitive abilities this can be substituted for a strong conversation and usual punishments of grounding etc


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## Sonic Angel Knight (May 23, 2019)

Should I be worried if they become a masochist if they do this?


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## kuwanger (May 23, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> Some therapists now say that a grounding longer than 2 weeks becomes ineffective.



I know this is a thread jack, but your comment makes me wonder...what do therapists say about prison sentences longer than 5 years (or whatever)?  Also reminds me of how tear gas is a chemical weapon illegal to be used in war, but many countries still let their police use it on citizens in riots.  Makes me rather wonder how most people really come to their conclusions on what's so wrong to use against killers and invaders but you'd be perfectly happy to use on your own child.

PS - If not clear, I don't actually have an answer to the question of the poll.



AmandaRose said:


> Hmm interesting read.
> https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...ng-children-is-banned-are-safer-to-grow-up-in



And Japan, where corporal punishment is still very much a thing, is one of the safest countries. :/



osaka35 said:


> The science says it corrects surface behaviour sometimes, but creates a lot of cognitive issues and future problem behaviour.



I'm not sure I'm a big believer in "the science" when it comes to children and behavior.  Therapy, psychology, behavior studies, etc are frequently hamstrung by ethical concerns:  ie, you can't ethically make people spank their children, so you're left to merely observations.  So, are those that spank genetically predisposed to cognitive issues and future behavior problems, including spanking their children, or is it the spanking that's the cause?  Then there's the "joke" that priests and therapists are the ones with the worst behaving children.

I'd feel a lot differently if there actually was a comprehensive regime parents lived by, evidence they lived by it, and results that were of a sufficiently large sample to draw conclusions.  Ie, actual science instead of small snippets that at best give hints for further study. :/


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## The Real Jdbye (May 23, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> Should it be illegal to spank your child?
> View attachment 167887​I was just wondering how you guys feel about spanking a child that has seriously misbehaved. I am not about abusing a child, making them bruised or bloody or anything more intense than a spank that only causes fleeting pain.
> 
> In my area, spanking is perfectly legal, but I also know many places that spanking a child is considered abuse.
> ...


Spanking is abuse. It's that simple.
I'm disgusted at how many people voted no. Guys, spanking can scar a child for life. I still remember when I was spanked by my dad's wife as a kid and I still harbor some resentment for him deep down for doing nothing about it. I've gotten over it, but I'll never be able to 100% forgive him for it. And if I ever see that woman again I'm gonna punch her. Luckily she lost her kids so she got what she deserved, and she moved away so I'll probably never see her again.


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## gamesquest1 (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Spanking is abuse. It's that simple.
> I'm disgusted at how many people voted no. Guys, spanking can scar a child for life. I still remember when I was spanked by my dad's wife as a kid and I still harbor some resentment for him deep down for doing nothing about it. I've gotten over it, but I'll never be able to 100% forgive him for it.


see i think its something only real family should ever be allowed to do (i assume by the way you phrased it she isn't your mother), and as in my post earlier only for real life or death situations, but i feel like as in your case if you receive a smack for something and you don't feel like it was justified your never going to get past it, personally i know my dad loved me and he would never do it just a some way to get me to shut up while he watched TV or something, might a stern word have worked......possibly, but if i answer honestly....probably not, and it could have been me hit by the car if i continued playing the game


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## The Real Jdbye (May 23, 2019)

gamesquest1 said:


> see i think its something only real family should ever be allowed to do (i assume by the way you phrased it she isn't your mother), and as in my post earlier only for real life or death situations, but i feel like as in your case if you receive a smack for something and you don't feel like it was justified your never going to get past it, personally i know my dad loved me and he would never do it just a some way to get me to shut up while he watched TV or something, might a stern word have worked......possibly, but if i answer honestly....probably not, and it could have been me hit by the car if i continued playing the game


He hit me sometimes when he was mad at me, and that was mostly just scary, but spanking is on a whole other level.


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## gamesquest1 (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> He hit me sometimes when he was mad at me, and that was mostly just scary, but spanking is on a whole other level.


i guess i will have to look it up, i always just assumed "spanking" was a US term for getting a smacked butt


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## The Real Jdbye (May 23, 2019)

gamesquest1 said:


> i guess i will have to look it up, i always just assumed "spanking" was a US term for getting a smacked butt


It is.
But she did it with a wood branch.


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## FAST6191 (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Guys, spanking can scar a child for life.



So can any number of things, including mental and financial punishments. The question then becomes is it so likely to cause such harms, and for what results?


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## The Real Jdbye (May 23, 2019)

FAST6191 said:


> So can any number of things, including mental and financial punishments. The question then becomes is it so likely to cause such harms, and for what results?


It doesn't serve a purpose, nor do the other 2, there are much better way to punish your kids.


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## gamesquest1 (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> It is.
> But she did it with a wood branch.


ok well i would class the use of any sort of weapon more of an assault than a spank, but i guess its a more broad term, i guess it all boils down to specifics though, a tap on the leg with a slipper would be less harmful than a full force smacked arse, if someone is in pain for more than a few minutes i think you have used too much force


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## FAST6191 (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> It doesn't serve a purpose, nor do the other 2, there are much better way to punish your kids.


I will ignore the "no purpose" thing for now. If something physical is off the table, if mental things are off the table and if financial things (though to some extent that probably is a subset of mental) then like what?


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## Frankbel (May 23, 2019)

I love spanking my children. I wait for their mistakes so that I can punish them.
Usually, for small mistake, I spank them. Bigger mistake, then I slap them.
Unfortunately, they are growing and their mistakes becomes rarer.
One day I shall miss this genuine fun!


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

Frankbel said:


> I love spanking my children. I wait for their mistakes so that I can punish them.
> Usually, for small mistake, I spank them. Bigger mistake, then I slap them.
> Unfortunately, they are growing and their mistakes becomes rarer.
> One day I shall miss this genuine fun!


Start using jumper cables.


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## CallmeBerto (May 23, 2019)

Damn right it should be illegal. It is no difference then abuse as far as the research shows



Here are some useful links I think everyone should take a look at -

http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifes...-child-outcomes-study-20160428-htmlstory.html

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/101/4/723.full.pdf

https://www.livescience.com/7895-children-spanked-iqs.html

http://www.repeal43.org/docs/Pediatrics-2012-Afifi-peds-2011-2947.pdf


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## The Real Jdbye (May 23, 2019)

Frankbel said:


> I love spanking my children. I wait for their mistakes so that I can punish them.
> Usually, for small mistake, I spank them. Bigger mistake, then I slap them.
> Unfortunately, they are growing and their mistakes becomes rarer.
> One day I shall miss this genuine fun!


Get out. 


FAST6191 said:


> I will ignore the "no purpose" thing for now. If something physical is off the table, if mental things are off the table and if financial things (though to some extent that probably is a subset of mental) then like what?


Start confiscating anything that gives them enjoyment until they stop. That's what most people do.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Start confiscating anything that gives them enjoyment until they stop. That's what most people do.


some kids will just not care and then just do negative behaviors to get attention. I have been dealing with that with 2 kids. Therapists say it is normal. So they basically legitimize the behavior.


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## FAST6191 (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Start confiscating anything that gives them enjoyment until they stop. That's what most people do.



Is that not some combo of mental and financial? Even assuming it is its own thing then I am not sure why mental and financial are off the cards.


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## Frankbel (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Get out.


Any problems?


The Real Jdbye said:


> Start confiscating anything that gives them enjoyment until they stop. That's what most people do.


With my children it does not work. They just have fun with something else. It is just irritating how they don't care about the soft punishment.


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## The Real Jdbye (May 23, 2019)

FAST6191 said:


> Is that not some combo of mental and financial? Even assuming it is its own thing then I am not sure why mental and financial are off the cards.


You're not taking them away permanently, just confiscating them. Nothing of value is lost. I guess you could say it's mental related but it's not actually harming them. 


DeadlyFoez said:


> some kids will just not care and then just do negative behaviors to get attention. I have been dealing with that with 2 kids. Therapists say it is normal. So they basically legitimize the behavior.


Yeah some kids are just impossible. I don't have a solution for that, but I can say spanking isn't it. 


Frankbel said:


> Any problems?
> 
> With my children it does not work. They just have fun with something else. It is just irritating how they don't care about the soft punishment.


Then take away those things too. If they go outside and play then at least you got them to do something healthy for once.


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## Frankbel (May 23, 2019)

CallmeBerto said:


> Damn right it should be illegal. It is no difference then abuse as far as the research shows
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I do not trust this pseudo-science. I have studied some of this crap as school teacher. I hate pedagogy, it's producing generations of children without spine.


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## CallmeBerto (May 23, 2019)

@Frankbel  I would disagree, generations of children without spine are being produced because of safe spaces not because they weren't hit as a child. You want your child to grow up with a spin? Teach them to face their problems head on and stop relying on others to solve their issues.


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## Frankbel (May 23, 2019)

CallmeBerto said:


> @Frankbel  I would disagree, generations of children without spine are being produced because of safe spaces not because they weren't hit as a child. You want your child to grow up with a spin? Teach them to face their problems head on and stop relying on others to solve their issues.


You don't need to tell me how to handle my children.
And I have complained about pedagogy. In the last 20 years I have observed an evident decrease in the quality of education. Both at high school and university level.


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## CallmeBerto (May 23, 2019)

Frankbel said:


> You don't need to tell me how to handle my children.



I wasn't, I was speaking in general just as you were in your reply to me. Raise your child how you want.


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## TheMCNerd2017 (May 23, 2019)

I am sort of indecisive on this one, as getting punished for your bad actions is a good thing, since it teaches the child that they shouldn't do the action again. At the same time, some children will become scared after they get spanked, especially if the parents use it as the main way of punishment.


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## Harumyne (May 23, 2019)

Only parents and only for desired effect in the instance of a child doing something which could seriously harm it's own or another's life.

Teachers or any other authorative figure, no.

Teachers can be savage people and with nobody around to moderate what force they may apply it is far too risky to allow abuse of power.


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## CallmeBerto (May 23, 2019)

@TheMCNerd2017 Well speaking for myself I don't consider myself anti-punishment but anti-spanking for child due to psychological effects it can have on them. There are many other ways such as those listed here - https://www.peacefulparent.com/the-peaceful-parenting-philosophy/


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## Hanafuda (May 23, 2019)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Spanking is abuse. It's that simple.
> I'm disgusted at how many people voted no. Guys, spanking can scar a child for life. I still remember when I was spanked by my dad's wife as a kid and I still harbor some resentment for him deep down for doing nothing about it. I've gotten over it, but I'll never be able to 100% forgive him for it. And if I ever see that woman again I'm gonna punch her. Luckily she lost her kids so she got what she deserved, and she moved away so I'll probably never see her again.



I'd have to know what you did to get spanked in the first place, and how you were spanked, before I could have an opinion about this.

And have you raised any kids to adulthood yourself yet?




The Real Jdbye said:


> It is.
> But she did it with a wood branch.



Didn't see this when I posted the above. Yes, that's too much. Although I do have the same experience -- in fact there were several occasions when I had to go outside and select my own "switch." This was my great-aunt, who was born around 1910. Standard practice in her generation. If you picked a switch that was too thin, it hurt like a blade. If you picked a switch that was too thick, it hurt like a baseball bat. I learned this the hard way.


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## Nerdtendo (May 23, 2019)

I was spanked as kid. Im a better person because of it


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## D34DL1N3R (May 23, 2019)

I'll stand with the side of spanking is abuse. I have three adult children and the "tough love" parenting method I've seen others mention here works leaps and bounds better than a spanking will. For every situation. Regardless of the child. Regardless of what has already been tried before.


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## Viri (May 23, 2019)

No, I don't think it should be illegal. But, as a kid, I'd prefer to get slapped or my ass kicked by my parent over being punished. Playing no video games for a week would be a lot worse than being slapped across the face a few times, lol.


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## CMDreamer (May 23, 2019)

It's not about being legal (and accepted) or not legal (not accepted).

It's about the reason that made you have to do it. Sometimes spanking is not educating, but making the child less self confident, some other times, a spanking makes them understand that what they've done must not be done again, but it should always be followed by the reason to it.

What I mean is that spanking a child, and telling them why in a calm and controllled way, leaves an even stronger impression on them, than spanking and yelling stupidly loud; that's something parents forget about, they have the control, not the child.

The best way to make a child understand they've done something wrong is to make them think about the consequences. Everything we do (good or bad) has consequences, that's what responsibility is about. 

But anyway, I don't have kids (just yet), so it is just my humble opinion.


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## guisadop (May 23, 2019)

IMO, physical punishment should be avoided, but should definitely be used if necessary.


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## CORE (May 23, 2019)

kumikochan said:


> Just going to leave this here




Yes I agree Slap them all.


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## Glyptofane (May 24, 2019)

My mother spanked me. My father could bring me to tears just by yelling at me. I don't feel like the spankings had any lasting, damaging psychological effects and it was probably the most effective form of discipline she had at her disposal when verbal attempts just weren't enough.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 24, 2019)

I would like to know how many people here that are saying that spanking a child should be illegal are also ones that agree with being pro-choice. The irony of it. You can't spank a child, but you can kill them.


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## Superbronx (May 24, 2019)

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

That's my creedo. My best friend and I lived next to one another growing up and his parents practiced the alternative forms of discipline in raising him. If he broke the rules he was placed in "time out" so he could reflect on his bad behavior. Similarly they also grounded him, gave him stern reprimands or revoked his privileges and similar such strategies.

On the flip side there was our family and mom and dad's more traditional approach. They administered corporal punishment to my siblings and I to great effect. Bear in mind, this was not the only tool at their disposal. It was a healthy mixture of love, additional chores, grounding, privilege revocation and yes spanking or more accurately here down south, known as a good old fashioned whoopin.

The results? My best friend was a disrespectful brat. A truly unruly terror to behold. No respect for others, no respect for any authority figure, selfish and never shared with others. Not even me and I was his best friend.

But my siblings and I grew up with a healthy respect for our elders. We are  kind, courteous and respectful of others and we respect those placed in authority. The way I raise my children is a direct reflection of my parents successful formula.


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## angelus kun (May 24, 2019)

Thank God here in Mexico isnt legal I mean there are a bunch of "modern" parents who thinks spanking it's awful and traumatic for a children but hey sometimes on a restaurant you can see a bunch of kids yelling and being disrespectful with another people even oldies or his own parents, the kid needs to learn about consequences of his actions obviously with a little explanation then spanking him


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## mrdude (May 24, 2019)

Kids have been getting hit/spanked/belted since time began, most have turned out fine. The reason there's so many selfish snowflakes today - is most likely because they never really had to face the consequences of their actions.
If a parent wants to smack their kid - it's up to them, as long as they are not going overboard - I'm fine with it.
When I grew up, nearly everyone I knew got belted at school at one time or other, teachers kept kids in line, not so much nowadays - that's why teachers are leaving the profession in droves - that and long hours and crap wages.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 24, 2019)

mrdude said:


> Kids have been getting hit/spanked/belted since time began, most have turned out fine. The reason there's so many selfish snowflakes today - is most likely because they never really had to face the consequences of their actions.
> If a parent wants to smack their kid - it's up to them, as long as they are not going overboard - I'm fine with it.
> When I grew up, nearly everyone I knew got belted at school at one time or other, teachers kept kids in line, not so much nowadays - that's why teachers are leaving the profession in droves - that and long hours and crap wages.


I am sure most teachers would stay, even with shit pay as long as they were respected by the students.


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## Superbronx (May 24, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> I would like to know how many people here that are saying that spanking a child should be illegal are also ones that agree with being pro-choice. The irony of it. You can't spank a child, but you can kill them.


I am pro life but I estimate your guess to be accurate.


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## Taleweaver (May 24, 2019)

This thread reminds me of the conversation with my pregnant girlfriend: she wasn't so much interested in my response, as she was interested in verbal ammunition to be used against me later on. I get the same thing here: all these "SPANKING IS ABUSE!!!!" messages are pretty intimidating. Thanks a lot, gbatemp. Since there are four pages already, I guess I can now safely chose whether I want to be lumped up in the category of "human" or "despicable scum that should stay 1000 miles away from the nearest child". Hmm...which side to chose? 

Anyhow...fun rhetoric aside: "spanking" is an act that doesn't say much of the context. And that is really what makes all the difference (kind of how - between adults, obviously - BDSM differs from physical abuse). Lemme give two examples of a same situation:

WRONG: goddammit, I told ya kids to TURN DOWN THAT DARN RUCKUS!!!  *immediately hits without warning*

GOOD: Tommy...what did I told you about that noise? No, don't look away. You know what I told you. You were warned. You knew the consequences. I don't like to do it either, but it seems you can't get around it. Come here. Let's get this over with.


In the ideal world, the second option wouldn't be needed either. But I think it's a bit naive to think that each and every child can be talked to that way and have them filled with regret so they won't repeat the behavior (heck...I think that if you've got a rascal on your hands, they'll probably flee before you even finished your first sentence).

The difference between the two is mainly the emotion. The first example would be from someone with little to no self control. That's the sort of behavior that can traumatize kids, as children learn to pick up these moodswing situations pretty fast.
The latter is calculated. You're supposed to be the adult in the situation. As an adult, you need the mental advantage over your child (and that's a horrible way to say it, but I don't know how to properly translate it). You need to be in control, sincere and forthcoming. And most of all: consistent(1).

I don't really follow the trends in child raising (women have that field cornered no matter how terrible they might be at it), but I'm fairly sure this all plays into their idea of 'how it should be done'. Again: if you can manage it without ever having to spank: all the merrier. And it should obviously never become a default 'go to' option. But downright banning it "because it is abuse" ? No. I don't go that way. More so: socially outlawing those that do it will cause more harm than good, if you ask me. I remember being spanked a few times as a kid. Yet I grew up fine, and have a great relation with my parents. Whenever I see these sorts of posts, I get the feeling they want me to turn against my parents for what amounts at best a handful of occasions in a furthermore flawless trajectory of parenting for them.



(1): important: if I make it sound easy, then my apologies. Keeping your cool at all times, no matter how tired, pained or emotionally shocked you are ("that was my PERSONAL COMPUTER you broke!") can be a challenge. Nonetheless: IT.MUST.BE.DONE.


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## DBlaze (May 24, 2019)

Maybe i'm getting too old, but just compare the amount of how many kids are absolute shitheads now compared to 20ish years ago.
If I compare it around my own environment, the increase of kids being entitled cunts and/or annoying as shit, have skyrocketed.

And most of it is because parents can/must take an easy way out:
Kid annoying? just throw an ipad/tablet the kid's way and it'll shut up.
Kid did something bad? timeout or "talk" to the kid so it knows what it did wrong. Because when was the last time that ever worked.

There's a reason why current gen kids are assholes and entitled shits. Besides also not being used to handle any sort of situation whatsoever.
People don't have time to be proper parents anymore.

which is also why I think it works best that at least 1 of the parents stays home throughout the big part of the kid's childhood to actually take care of the kid, instead of relying on daycares and dragging your kids from one grandma to another grandma.
But it's 2019 so I can't think that way anymore because it's oppressive and sexist.

I for one am grateful that my mom decided to be a stay-at-home mom to actually take care of us, bite me.

I'm not in favor of spanking, but I sometimes wonder with some kids if they shouldn't have gotten spanked every once in a while


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## tonyhhhh (May 24, 2019)

All i have to do is give the dad look lol , no need to smack any child no matter what they have done.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 24, 2019)

@Taleweaver 
If it makes you feel any better, almost 2/3 of people on this forum agree that a parent has the right to spank their child. Keeping in mind that this forum is primarily left-leaning.
So because that this forum is so left leaning, I figured I would also ask this question on a right leaning website, FunnyJunk.
https://funnyjunk.com/Should+spanking+be+illegal/yNYXMlA/
There, you can see, over 80% of people on FunnyJunk agreed that a parent has a right to spank their child.
Now, of course, this is no scientific polling here, but I think this says enough. The majority of people agree with that the parent has the right to spank their child, from both the left and right. The left side has more people that believe that spanking is wrong, but being that minority is still only ~1/3, I think we can get a close enough consensus about this matter.

Although, I would imagine that if this were to be polled on tumblr then the results might come back as 100% people think it should be illegal, but I am not about to create a tumblr account just to ask that.

If anyone else would like to ask this question on other forums, with proper polling, then please do so. I strongly suggest that you copy my first post and use that as a template because it does not express any bias towards either way, which is important in making polls like this.

I thank you all.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------



tonyhhhh said:


> All i have to do is give the dad look lol , no need to smack any child no matter what they have done.


The dad look works best once you have actually spanked your kid before because then the dad look is far more intimidating to them.

My 4 year old will stop dead in her tracks when I give her the look. She has gotten a spank before, never a bare bottom spank and never even hard enough to even cause fleeting pain, but it was enough of one that just her emotions about it caused her to get upset enough to know that she doesn't want to experience it again.


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## Spider_Man (May 24, 2019)

punishing your child should not be illegal, this is whats wrong with todays generation kids having no respect for others and mugging elderly, stabbing others.

we get told we cant punish our kids and teach them right from wrong because some panzy arse twat classes it as child abuse, and it has to stop thinking it will put a stop to child abuse.

im sorry but any sick parent that thinks its ok to use their child as a punch bag, will still do so even if punishing your child is illegal or not.

all these twats are doing is preventing kids from being taught right from wrong, if you go back to my great grandparents days they never had the shit we see now off kids, i mean look at todays world kids even stabbing their teachers.


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## Taleweaver (May 24, 2019)

@DeadlyFoez it...actually does make me feel better somewhat. I hadn't read the poll results (hadn't even voted until just now), but it takes only a few hardline posts to create an impression of "everyone is against me". I should've put things in perspective more.


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## Nerdtendo (May 24, 2019)

I gave a short answer earlier but I do agree with what a lot are saying. Spanking is necessary provided the parents communicate the reasons well. Hitting just to hit is abuse obviously. My parents were excellent at this.

Gosh, I love my parents.


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## zomborg (May 24, 2019)

Retroboy said:


> punishing your child should not be illegal, this is whats wrong with todays generation kids having no respect for others and mugging elderly, stabbing others.
> 
> we get told we cant punish our kids and teach them right from wrong because some panzy arse twat classes it as child abuse, and it has to stop thinking it will put a stop to child abuse.
> 
> ...



God's word brings wisdom on the topic of raising our children and whether to spank.
*
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 13:24

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

Withold not discipline from the child, for if you strike and punish him with the rod, he will not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 23:13-14

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Proverbs 19:18

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6*


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## Reiten (May 24, 2019)

Not a parent myself so most of my thoughts come from my own upbringing and discussions with my friends who are parents.
The general conclusion I have come to is that spanking your child should not be illegal. Though it should only be used when all other forms of discipline(explaining, grounding, taking away stuff...) have failed. Or when the child has more or less knowingly endangered its own life or the lives of others. As others have noted, the punishment should be followed by a level-headed explanation, why the done thing was bad. Also the spanking should never injure the child.

As a small note, when thinking about this law, does anyone else have to think of that one South Park episode, where the kids got their parents arrested by telling the police they were molested?


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## spotanjo3 (May 24, 2019)

63 percent said yes .... WOW! They have no right to have a children then. Disgusting. Oh yes, I bet most of them don't have a children and they don't know what children are like. I know because I do and children are preciously. You gotta have humble, understanding, patiently, discipline and teaching them.. That's a key. We have to teach them properly and that's our responsible. Yes, they might break the rules or cheat or ignored. My punishment is to put them in the bedroom with lunch or dinner but without a tv, video game, and smartphone. They will have to sit there thinking about it. Works for me.. They realised and they understands. 

NO SPANKING, PERIOD! NONE! Spanking is a bad parents and DONT DESERVE THE KIDS because they don't know how to teach them, easy as that! SPANKING IS NOT THE ANSWER. IT WONT WORK and it will make them worse.


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## DeadlyFoez (May 24, 2019)

zomborg said:


> God's word brings wisdom on the topic of raising our children and whether to spank.
> *
> He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 13:24
> 
> ...


And this is why the bible is a great book to live by, well not this alone. I mean the messages that it teaches. If someone can follow the teachings of the bible and live by them then they become great people... most of the time. I feel the religion is a complete lie, but it's teachings are great.

Oh shit. I hope I didn't just derail this topic now.....


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## notimp (May 24, 2019)

Someone call a troll. This topic needs a troll by now. 

But my believes on beating children are...


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## zomborg (May 24, 2019)

DeadlyFoez said:


> And this is why the bible is a great book to live by, well not this alone. I mean the messages that it teaches. If someone can follow the teachings of the bible and live by them then they become great people... most of the time. I feel the religion is a complete lie, but it's teachings are great.
> 
> Oh shit. I hope I didn't just derail this topic now.....


I agree with you. Religion is man made and man is flawed. It's not religion we must seek but instead a relationship with God. When we raise our children by God's plan we walk in wisdom.


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## Frankbel (May 25, 2019)

azoreseuropa said:


> NO SPANKING, PERIOD! NONE! Spanking is a bad parents and DONT DESERVE THE KIDS because they don't know how to teach them, easy as that! SPANKING IS NOT THE ANSWER. IT WONT WORK and it will make them worse.


Based on which principle?
What you don't get and never get is that there is no rule that works in general. That's not mathematics nor physics. 
There are children who need to be physically punished and there are children who probably do not need. And there is a gray area in which you need to use more or less spanking.


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