# CNN's "Hardcore" Gamer Reviews 3DS



## [M]artin (Mar 27, 2011)

*Jesus Christ... Just... *sigh* JUST FUCKING WATCH IT.*http://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2011/03/23/t-tt-nintendo-3ds-review.fortunehttp://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2011/03/23/t-tt-nintendo-3ds-review.fortune


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## L-Lawliet (Mar 27, 2011)

Saw this before. It's hilarious when he says that he "grew up on Halo"


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## 431unknown (Mar 27, 2011)

That douche don't even know what he's talking about.


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## redact (Mar 27, 2011)

L-Lawliet said:
			
		

> Saw this before. It's hilarious when he says that he "grew up on Halo"


...so he's ten years old?

edit: just watched the video
that guy is truly a dickhead...


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## Jugarina (Mar 27, 2011)

Sounds like a paid spokesman for Apple to me and is completely wrong and yeah me and that girly man would not get along very well and I think I would be throwing some bolo's his way If we ever meet in person, would be a real joy to watch him cry.


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## Dangy (Mar 27, 2011)

This has already been posted here.


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## petspaps (Mar 27, 2011)

For the first half of it i thought yr ok fair review, then once he went on about another device which has a different function and a different project function to the 3ds i thought who paid u off moron


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## linuxGuru (Mar 27, 2011)

If he claims he grew up on halo, how does he even know what a gameboy was like?

What an idiot.


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## CarbonX13 (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm pretty convinced that Apple paid him to say the latter 60% of the video.


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## iFish (Mar 27, 2011)

"We have no seen cartridges since the GBA days"

Did he totally forget the DS?

And "No Stylus in PDA's"

Did he again skip the DS?

Why is he forgetting the DS exists?


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## CarbonX13 (Mar 27, 2011)

iFish said:
			
		

> "We have no seen cartridges since the GBA days"
> 
> Did he totally forget the DS?
> 
> ...


He grew up with Halo, so he probably skipped over the DS generation completely.


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## RiderLeangle (Mar 27, 2011)

This guy has been in a coma since 2004 hasn't he?


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## machomuu (Mar 27, 2011)

Judging by most of the posts I guess I was right in assuming Geoff Keighley (if that's how it's spelled) is the one reviewing the 3DS.


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## Fudge (Mar 27, 2011)

We haven't seen cartridges since the Game Boy 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



A stylus? I haven't seen that since the early 2000s 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Retro design that seems fit for the 1990s. Thats just a fail


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## KingAsix (Mar 27, 2011)

This guy...Does he even know what he is talking about. Iphone/touch/ipad and the 3DS are two totally different devices meant for two totally different thing. Hell! one can argue the iphone, ipad, and the ipod touch are all different devices meant for different things. Yeah its possible Apple paid him off..."grew up on halo" makes no sense (guessing at his age + that statement = he must have never even played a game til his late teens/early 20s) 

I think this guy is stupid and deserves to be slapped


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## Nebz (Mar 27, 2011)

Errr this was posted already...
http://gbatemp.net/t285228-the-greatest-3ds-review-yet

but yeah... This was just an awful review. I wonder how they even allowed this to happen.


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## Deleted-273695 (Mar 27, 2011)

-.- what a stupid person -.-


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## dinofan01 (Mar 27, 2011)

machomuu said:
			
		

> Judging by most of the posts I guess I was right in assuming Geoff Keighley (if that's how it's spelled) is the one reviewing the 3DS.


lol what the fuck are you talking about? Try watching the video before forecasting your biases. You really hate keighly that much that you assume its him every time there is a claim of a "bad review?"


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## Schizoanalysis (Mar 27, 2011)

He looks like a munchkin.


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## zeromac (Mar 27, 2011)

more like he grew up on crack


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## Nathan Drake (Mar 27, 2011)

The review is so bad. The guy obviously has no idea what he's talking about.

It starts off bad when he talks about how this is good for a "hard core gamer like him" that "grew up on Halo." It just gets worse when he mentions that FULL 3D gave him a minor headache and made him slightly cross eyed after 20 minutes. Hey, guess what, when you're eyes aren't used to it, it's gonna be rough at first. He talks about augmented reality cards as if they are garbage even though they work and many people find them very fun for what they are.

Oh yeah, and it's apparently outdated. The dual-screen, folded design is that of the 90's, and that dang outdated cartridge media is still ever present. Oh yeah, and it uses a stylus for precise touches like those old outdated Palm Pilots.

Damn that battery too! Only lasting three hours with pumped up brightness, sound, and 3D. It's like Nintendo didn't mention that settings that high could make the 3DS battery only last about, oh, I don't know, *three hours*.

Ah man, good thing I didn't buy this outdated, horrible machine.
Damn, the guy is so dumb. Can't wait to get one of these myself at some point.


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## redact (Mar 27, 2011)

iFish said:
			
		

> "We have no seen cartridges since the GBA days"
> 
> Did he totally forget the DS?
> 
> ...


not to mention that the brand new, ngp (sony's "boost the power, don't worry about if it's fun" device) will also be relying on cartridges for game storage


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## nando (Mar 27, 2011)

i can't wait for the "halo generation" to start running the world... it's gonna be fun


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## RupeeClock (Mar 27, 2011)

That has to the stupidest, most uninformed review I've ever seen from anyone on anything.

Hardcore gamers like us? We grew up on Halo.
AR Games? It's a shooting game, nothing else.
How DARE it use a stylus and a physical distribution medium?


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## GreatZimkogway (Mar 27, 2011)

So...he's just a dumbass, then.


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## FireGrey (Mar 27, 2011)

"haven't seen stylus's for ages"
hahahaha


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## Demonbart (Mar 27, 2011)

Someone please shoot that guy.
EDIT: Also, Halo=/= hardcore. NES, SNES, and Genesis, that's hardcore.
This guy must be Steve Jobs' personal cocksucker.


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## FireGrey (Mar 27, 2011)

Demonbart said:
			
		

> Someone please shoot that guy.


gimme some meth and a gun and i'll do it!


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## redact (Mar 27, 2011)

Demonbart said:
			
		

> This guy must be Steve Jobs' personal cocksucker.


nice way of putting it


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## Raika (Mar 27, 2011)

So now every Halo/CoD/whateverFPS game=Hardcore?
Shitty reviewer is shitty.


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## wzeroc (Mar 27, 2011)

Raika said:
			
		

> Shitty reviewer is shitty.



Amen to that. 

Even HTC Touch Pro2 has a stylus. Heck, there's even a stylus made for iPhones. :|

Shitty reviewer is shitty. xP


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## moodswinger (Mar 27, 2011)

He should lose his job from CNN and buttkiss at Apple. What at douche!


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## DrOctapu (Mar 27, 2011)

Since when are the fucking iDevices a legitimately useful gaming console? To be a good deal, it can't be outdated every fucking year. My iPod can't run fucking anything because Apple fucked all the 8gb users. The 3DS looks amazing and is well built. I had the opportunity to check one out at Target and, unfortunately, the damned thing was unplugged and the battery was completely drained, but it looked very nice. Definitely a better buy than a fucking iPod.


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## nintendoom (Mar 27, 2011)

The reviewer is gay and so the review will be..
How did he became a Hardcore Gamer if he doesn't even know what the DS is???
Gay...


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## Bladexdsl (Mar 27, 2011)

idiot is just another fucking graphics shooter whore he has no clue what his fucking talking about. just like the rest of the graphics whores.


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## Deleted member 473940 (Mar 27, 2011)

LOL He grew up on HALO?
What is he 12? lol


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## Seraph (Mar 27, 2011)

Oh come on everyone, the reviewer probably has no idea what he's talking about and probably doesn't know what Nintendo is.  He's probably just reading the teleprompter.  Okay, maybe he is the one who actually reviewed it.  This doesn't actually appear on television right?

(Have to say, he has very awkward/weird facial motions when speaking though...)


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## Deleted member 473940 (Mar 27, 2011)

Seraph said:
			
		

> Oh come on everyone, the reviewer probably has no idea what he's talking about and probably doesn't know what Nintendo is.  He's probably just reading the teleprompter.  Okay, maybe he is the one who actually reviewed it.  This doesn't actually appear on television right?


Considering its from CNN, it probably did/will appear on TV.


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## Seraph (Mar 27, 2011)

Tanveer said:
			
		

> Seraph said:
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Well...I don't have cable/any programming anymore, but usually the "tech" side of things are online only.  At least, when I still knew what was on TV.


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## Deleted member 473940 (Mar 27, 2011)

Seraph said:
			
		

> Tanveer said:
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It better be online ONLY lol.


But seriously, did he live in a cave the last 10 years or so o.O?
No cartridge system since Gameboy, lol


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## ecko (Mar 27, 2011)

now normally, i would say everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, but this guy..he should just disappear from the face of the earth


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## iMasaru (Mar 27, 2011)

lol, before watching this video i thought that maybe people were being to harsh on the guy. Now that i'v seen it... someone needs to hammer some intelligence into him!  >.


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## lolzed (Mar 27, 2011)

I expected something lame review...but after watching it im like 

"Seeing as it's a Nintendo it will probably sell well"


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## CrimzonEyed (Mar 27, 2011)

i wanna stab him so hard that even his grand children feel pain....


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## Deleted member 473940 (Mar 27, 2011)

CrimzonEyed said:
			
		

> i wanna stab him so hard that even his grand children feel pain....


Shit, where about are you gonna stab him 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




!!? lol

But yeah, some comments he made were just  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



(although.. nintendo made it.. so of course it will sell well 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




, its true but doesnt give him the right to say it in a review!)


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## RNorthex (Mar 27, 2011)

these are moments whem i'm wondering about the master sword in zelda
no evil can touch it

nintendo, if you brought 3d in, bring in a case that no apple and sony fan can touch it


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## wzeroc (Mar 27, 2011)

Anyway, anyone remember the kid who gave his 'humble' opinion on the 3DS? Oh you know, the one where he said the 3DS took ideas from the PSP or something... :-"

I wonder if they are related...? :| xP


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## machomuu (Mar 27, 2011)

dinofan01 said:
			
		

> machomuu said:
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Actually I was joking, I watched the video before I posted.

And yes, I do hate him that much.


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## prowler (Mar 27, 2011)

Yes it's a bad review and he is pretty stupid but you hate the review that bad you want to _kill him_?
Nobody is forcing you to watch it.

Go home Nintendo fanboys and girls, not everybody likes the 3DS.


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## Slyakin (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm surprised this is news. It's just a guy giving his opinions on the 3DS.

He might hate it. It's your opinion that counts to you and you only.


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## Zorua (Mar 27, 2011)

Nintendo 3DS no match for 'Apple Iphone'. 

Apple fanboy! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




He'll never appreciate the 3DS.


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## Jamstruth (Mar 27, 2011)

Ahh well.
He said cartridges haven't been seen since the last Gameboy device (he's counting the DS as a gameboy I think) which is technically true BUT its been surviving for years with cartridges. They're as good a way of transporting content as any. A lot more convenient than 2GB digital downloads in my opinion.
Stylus. Yeah maybe it should have a capacitive touchscreen but how would you play ANY of the games without a stylus. Your thumb is good for quick taps but for games like Phantom Hourglass its needed, capacitive or not.
He's entitled to his opinion and he never actually says that the iPhone is better than the 3DS, he just has that damned hook title on his video. He poses the question at the end: Will it do as well as older consoles? Its twice as expensive as the DS, more expensive than a Wii and the games are 30x the price of iPhone games. With everyone and their mother having an iPhone these days it is a legitimate threat to Ninty. They'll go "Why buy a dedicated console? I can play games on my phone." Course the 3DS does games better but people are stupid. I do call bullshit on him saying the iPod and iPhone are "technically cheaper". They're not. They're just not.


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## Deleted member 473940 (Mar 27, 2011)

Jamstruth said:
			
		

> Ahh well.
> He said cartridges haven't been seen since the last Gameboy device (he's counting the DS as a gameboy I think) which is technically true BUT its been surviving for years with cartridges. They're as good a way of transporting content as any. A lot more convenient than 2GB digital downloads in my opinion.
> Stylus. Yeah maybe it should have a capacitive touchscreen but how would you play ANY of the games without a stylus. Your thumb is good for quick taps but for games like Phantom Hourglass its needed, capacitive or not.
> He's entitled to his opinion and he never actually says that the iPhone is better than the 3DS, he just has that damned hook title on his video. He poses the question at the end: Will it do as well as older consoles? Its twice as expensive as the DS, more expensive than a Wii and the games are 30x the price of iPhone games. With everyone and their mother having an iPhone these days it is a legitimate threat to Ninty. They'll go "Why buy a dedicated console? I can play games on my phone." Course the 3DS does games better but people are stupid. I do call bullshit on him saying the iPod and iPhone are "technically cheaper". They're not. They're just not.


And to think that NGP is also going to use cartridges o.o.
The way he said it.. well he made it sound like cartridges are EXTINCT.


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## machomuu (Mar 27, 2011)

Just something to think about, a wise man once told me this


			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and most of them stink.



I think this review may fit the bill, even if it is "just an opinion."


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## Hypershad12 (Mar 27, 2011)

Is he seriously comparing the 3DS to the iPhone? I would understand if it was the iPod touch, but that's pushing it a little bit.


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## Master_roxas (Mar 27, 2011)

I felt ashamed when I saw that he was filipino.


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## shakirmoledina (Mar 27, 2011)

after reading all the comments, i just like the zeroG news above it
martin posted an anti-3ds review on gbatemp... nice work man

whats the size of the biggest ipod/iphone game to date? 500MB? i think the 3ds deserves some more respect with games being larger due to the 3d. I agree that N64 games were smaller but the features in the 3ds justify the big size, the DS also has smaller sized games but with more features (sometimes much much more) than the iphone.

Personally i like the iphone/pod but i feel the attention it gets is not worth it. Its just a dynamic (also touch) and cheap (apps) to upgrade hence the great liking towards it. Plus its multipurpose and maybe a fad for attracting people. Dont get me wrong, its good.


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## Ace Overclocked (Mar 27, 2011)

growing up on halo?
god damn he doesn't know the 1st thing about being a gamer


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## B3astinSnipes (Mar 27, 2011)

"the i phone does more" well lets see........its a damn phone made by apple what else do u expect.second its a handheld 3D system what else do you want it to do?? i just hate critics like that.. your probably in your 20s or 30s bro of course you gunna prefer a phone over a childrens handheld system. if you havent "grown up" with it then dont expect to be all happy over it...go back to halo and let the real 3DS fans have some fun...


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## CannonFoddr (Mar 27, 2011)

L-Lawliet said:
			
		

> It's hilarious when he says that he "grew up on Halo"


WTF - He's classed as a 'hardcore' gamer due to THAT !!!

Then what the f**k am I ??? - I grew up on 'Mazogs' and '3D monster maze'


Spoiler: Ah those were the days ....so 'cutting edge' graphics


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## jak66 (Mar 27, 2011)

ahh....can't wait to see the shitstorm if yahtzee reviews the 3DS when it arrives down under (especially if it's any worse than this review).

Note: Yes, I know it's unlikely, but still, I have fun reading all the comments to these type of threads.


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## Deleted User (Mar 27, 2011)

Meh, it causes eye strain.
Source: Myself


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## kylehaas (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm not mad that he's not a nintendo fanboy.
What makes me angry is that he (and others) call him hardcore, while he himself admits that he grew up on Halo.
What the crap!?
Halo was never hardcore in the great scheme of things; what about kids that grew up playing Half Life 1 mods and Quake at LAN parties!?
Was Jedi Knight 1 (in a LAN game with 30+ players) not hardcore!? Seriously, this retard knows nothing about being a hardcore gamer.

I'd gladly kick his ass at any true hardcore game.


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## Gullwing (Mar 27, 2011)

Oooh!! Shhhh everyone!!! He grew up on HALO!!! He is HARDCORE!!! *Sarcasm*
Serioulsy, is he like... 1O? Because Halo was made 10 years ago... He really must be retarded


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## zuron7 (Mar 27, 2011)

What's he saying?
How in the world can a stylus hurt someone?


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## ShadowSoldier (Mar 27, 2011)

How did this guy get a job at CNN exactly? Here's what GayGamer said:



> CNN is a respected source for regular news, but I'm starting to think that they're not as reliable with their tech beat. JP Mangalindan from Fortune gives us his review of Nintendo's new 3DS handheld here, but unfortunately, he's a little... off on a few facts, which makes his opinion, well... less-than-useful.
> 
> The first thing that cracked me up was when *he described himself as a hardcore gamer who "grew up on Halo."* Really? Well, we're so glad that a handheld gaming device finally has graphics good enough for you, even if it's no PlayStation 3, as you note. Those of us who grew up with Atari 2600 or even NESes remember when playing a green-tinted Tetris in the palm of your hand was amazing.
> 
> ...


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## Canonbeat234 (Mar 27, 2011)

He's right you know, being a halo fan makes you feel proud to have played Halo while you were a child. So he doesn't know what a Gameboy is, nor a Gameboy Pocket, Gameboy Color, Gameboy Advance, or Nintendo DS. 

CNN is mediocre when it comes to reviewing games in general, just stick to there political and world events.

Edit: As most Tempers know, I'm not a hardcore gamer. I do play games but not too much to the point I play them on a regular basis. Mostly I watch youtube of people playing videogames. I have yet to see walkthroughs/playthroughs of Donkey Kong Country: Returns, Sonic Colors, and Epic Mickey. I just seen Scott Pilgrim vs The World gameplay on BrainscratchComm and I didn't know that game came out last year.


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## Deleted User (Mar 27, 2011)

Hardcore gamer? More like "Apple Nerd"


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## Guild McCommunist (Mar 27, 2011)

CNN is basically the middle of the spectrum of the 24 hour big news networks in the US. There's the left-handed MSNBC and the right-handed Fox. They're basically mostly unbiased news but have kinda become a joke because they often times spend a lot of time on flashy effects. I mean, during the '08 elections, they had fucking holograms. Fucking. Holograms. Plus there's just a lot of silly stuff on there.

I'd rather stick with dedicated video game sites for 3DS information and reviews.


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## Deleted User (Mar 27, 2011)

Guild McCommunist said:
			
		

> CNN is basically the middle of the spectrum of the 24 hour big news networks in the US. There's the left-handed MSNBC and the right-handed Fox. They're basically mostly unbiased news but have kinda become a joke because they often times spend a lot of time on flashy effects. I mean, during the '08 elections, they had fucking holograms. Fucking. Holograms. Plus there's just a lot of silly stuff on there.
> 
> I'd rather stick with dedicated video game sites for 3DS information and reviews.


http://kotaku.com
Agreed.


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## Guild McCommunist (Mar 27, 2011)

tigris said:
			
		

> http://kotaku.com
> Agreed.



Not Kotaku personally, I usually stick to 1UP myself. None of the sites really nail my ideas on every game but 1UP is rather close.


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## Tonitonichopchop (Mar 27, 2011)

I almost took him seriously until the end. I mean my god... if he was just some punk off the internet, I'd say he's a troll.


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## VashTS (Mar 27, 2011)

This guy makes his review seem like a parody of a bad reviewer.  That was terrible.  Reviewers should not be saying things like this.  He obviously has no idea of the hand held gaming world.  But CNN had to be in the latest major news so they just stuffed this guy in front of the camera and said "talk about this and compare it to i products! 3,2,1, go."


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## Veho (Mar 28, 2011)

zuron7 said:
			
		

> What's he saying?
> How in the world can a stylus hurt someone?


Ever get poked in the eye with one?


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## ZeD (Mar 28, 2011)

What a crap review!
He was talking like the DS/Lite/i were never made!  He always refered it to "like a gameboy device!"

What a prick!
IPhone is good but the 3DS is brilliant!


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## modshroom128 (Mar 28, 2011)

CNN just lost all credibility.


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## redact (Mar 28, 2011)

modshroom128 said:
			
		

> CNN just lost all credibility.


...they were credible?


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## DSGamer64 (Mar 28, 2011)

L-Lawliet said:
			
		

> Saw this before. It's hilarious when he says that he "grew up on Halo"


Which means he lost all credibility instantly. Sorry but growing up on casual shit like that proves people know nothing of video games. I grew up on the original Super Mario Bros, Pong and Sonic the Hedgehog, guess I am the casual /sarcasm

People fail to understand what hardcore gamers are, hardcore players have been playing for a long long time, not 8 years. CNN is a joke too, so you shouldn't expect anything less from them. It would be even more laughable if it were Fox doing it though, cause they are worse then CNN.

Whoever let this retard on TV and let him spout a bunch of ignorant bullshit should have their eyes pulled out and skull fucked. I have seen better intelligence from The Onion's news stories which are all just a joke then this crap. If this moron is trying to be serious, he is the worst troll ever.


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## Donixs (Mar 28, 2011)

I was enraged when I saw this.

I can't believe someone would ever let him talk in front of a camera.


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## awssk8er (Mar 28, 2011)

Nearly everything he said in this video is wrong. Lol.


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## RNorthex (Mar 29, 2011)

the problem is that it's not just opinion
it's sort of a review, bad advertisement which ruins Nintendo's reputation while the review is clearly inaccurate, the guy lives under a rock and the apple-fanboyance is just stunning

if u want opinion, that's on the forum
but many ppl watch cnn, so yes, being angered[a little bit] by this review is not childish, to wish him "die" is however


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## Maz7006 (Mar 29, 2011)

L-Lawliet said:
			
		

> Saw this before. It's hilarious when he says that he "grew up on Halo"



i sort of stopped at this point.


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