# Gbatemp Pickup Lines



## Black-Ice (Mar 21, 2013)

Cmon you smooth tongued rascals.
Lets see what you got.
Share your greatest or worst or just funny pickup lines here.

*So i can steal them*


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## DinohScene (Mar 21, 2013)

Hey cutebuns, show me them sexy tummy of yours


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## Narayan (Mar 21, 2013)

do you own a jersey? coz i need your name and number.


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## NightsOwl (Mar 21, 2013)

The classic.

"If you were a booger, I'd pick you."

Yep.


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## Foxi4 (Mar 21, 2013)

_"I want to unlock your Trophies, baby. Let's get a Platinum together...  "_
_"Achievement Unlocked - You got My Attention. Don't screw this up. "_
_"Let's have an AdHoc Party, sugar...  "_
_"Wanna see my Stylus?  "_
_"I'm from the Touch Generation, I can show you what that means, honey...  "_


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## Forstride (Mar 21, 2013)

*AY BBY U WAN SUM FUK*


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## emigre (Mar 21, 2013)

"Earn my cock!"


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## AlanJohn (Mar 21, 2013)

"Wanna know why they call me "Anal" John? "


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## DinohScene (Mar 21, 2013)

AlanJohn said:


> "Wanna know why they call me "Anal" John? "


 
Why do they call you Anal


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## NightsOwl (Mar 21, 2013)

DinohScene said:


> Why do they call you Anal


My guess is because he's anal retentive.


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## jurassicplayer (Mar 21, 2013)

Hi! I'm from GBATemp.


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## Forstride (Mar 21, 2013)

jurassicplayer said:


> Hi! I'm from GBATemp.


Please, you aren't even attracted to real women.  ;o;


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## noob killer (Mar 21, 2013)

if i could rearrange the alphabet I would put "U" and " I" together


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## Veho (Mar 21, 2013)

*I CHOOSE YOU!!!*


...it's not very effective...


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## pyromaniac123 (Mar 21, 2013)

Bitch, get in the car.


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## Wolvenreign (Mar 21, 2013)

"Baby, are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my head all night. Screaming."


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## Tom Bombadildo (Mar 21, 2013)

DON'T SCREAM.

Here's $200.

I have a big dick.

I have a _really_ big dick.

I'm rich and I have a big dick.

Can I see your tits?

Wanna see my *D*s? (Lot's of emphasis on the D )


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## BORTZ (Mar 21, 2013)

If I was a enzyme, I'd be a helicase so I could unzip your genes.


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## Gahars (Mar 21, 2013)

"The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated. In the last seven deals that I've been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who have made a pretax profit of 12 billion dollars. Thank you. I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them! The point is that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."

Gets them moist every time.


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## emigre (Mar 21, 2013)

Gahars said:


> "The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated. In the last seven deals that I've been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who have made a pretax profit of 12 billion dollars. Thank you. I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them! The point is that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
> 
> Gets them moist every time.


 
That's more of a pickup soliloquy than a pickup line.


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## BORTZ (Mar 21, 2013)

Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, 'cause you're stunning.


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## Gahars (Mar 21, 2013)

emigre said:


> That's more of a pickup soliloquy than a pickup line.


 
That pickup soliloquy gets them my pickup line, if you know what I am saying.


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## Guild McCommunist (Mar 21, 2013)

"hey i go on a site dedicated to hacking various nintendo consoles and i love jrpgs and i love anime and i love manga and sometimes i feel so dark inside we should go on a date sometime i could wear my fedora itd look cool youre really pretty."

So this is for pick up lines pertaining to GBAtemp, correct?


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## FAST6191 (Mar 21, 2013)

emigre said:


> Gahars said:
> 
> 
> > "The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated. In the last seven deals that I've been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who have made a pretax profit of 12 billion dollars. Thank you. I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them! The point is that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA."
> ...



It has been noted I am somewhat verbose but that rated as a simple greeting in my book. Maybe that is why I seem to only attract certain types (and crazies).

On an equally serious note being able to demonstrate you are good with your hands works well enough for me, I am not so crude, though others might argue I lack drive, as to actively demonstrate things here, fortunately card games are a standard pub activity and fixing phones, random devices and the occasional vehicle over a "swift half" is also a thing I seem to end up doing.


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## smash_brew (Mar 21, 2013)

"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

This has actually worked a few times. usually right before the bar closes.


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## Flame (Mar 21, 2013)

wanna see my Pokemons...



bitches love Pokemon.


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## Engert (Mar 21, 2013)

Hey how's it going?
I was wondering if you'd like me to download my profile.


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## Devin (Mar 21, 2013)

Hey baby. My post count is... over 1000.
Are you on the WTS board? Cause I'd buy you in an instant.
I'm John, so you must be anal.
Such a badass I've been warned once.
If I were Costello in usernames I'd put I and U together.
Girl if you were a product I'd review you all day.

Oh.. Were these supposed to be IRL ones?


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## SoraK05 (Mar 21, 2013)

I don't even try impress women. If they like me as I am, awesome, and if I like them as they are too, awesome. I don't like the impressing thing, from me to them or them to me..

"Hello?".. pretty simple.. build it up, and with common-ground, it takes care of itself.


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## The Catboy (Mar 21, 2013)

Just look at how fucking adorable I am.

No gay guy can resist my charm.


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## Nah3DS (Mar 21, 2013)

_"if you don't let me fuck you, I'll ban you "_
- p1ngpong


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## J-Machine (Mar 21, 2013)

spoiler tagged for the easily offended though I mean no harm.



Spoiler



"Baby if looks could kill you'd be hitler." they are usually so stunned by my silken tongue of flattery +1 that I need to say "stop stallin honey and lemmie get you a drink." to get them back from cloud 9 to reality again.


 
though if i'm desperate enough the local cougar bar is known to prey on fresh faces like myself. It's a scary last resort that I hope to never need to use.


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## Veho (Mar 21, 2013)

J-Machine said:


> though if i'm desperate enough the local cougar bar is known to prey on fresh faces like myself. It's a scary last resort that I hope to never need to use.


"Desperate"? "Last resort"? Dude, they are probably into all sorts of freaky shit, you should grab the chance while your face is still considered "fresh."


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## BORTZ (Mar 21, 2013)

If I was a NES cartridge, would you blow me...


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## mechadylan (Mar 21, 2013)

"Nah, the computer repair thing is just a side gig because I only work on Apple products.  I work a--  What?  No way?!?  Sure, I'd love to come over and check that out for you."


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## Sicklyboy (Mar 21, 2013)

Girl after we're through with a night of "gaming", neither you nor your patch will be able to walk.


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## tbgtbg (Mar 21, 2013)

Why don't we make like a tree and get outta here?


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## emigre (Mar 21, 2013)

Sicklyboy said:


> Girl after we're through with a night of "gaming", neither you nor your patch will be able to walk.


 
It sounds like you're planning to cripple her to be honest.


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## Blaze163 (Mar 21, 2013)

I don't personally believe in chat up lines, I prefer to become friends with a girl and if it blossoms into something else, fair enough. My relationships just kinda...happen. In fact strictly speaking I've never asked a girl out in my life. Never needed to.

Worst I've heard though is my friend Kai asking many a girl at the club 'Would you like a meat flavoured lollipop?'.

He gets kicked in the nuts a lot.


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## Veho (Mar 21, 2013)

emigre said:


> It sounds like you're planning to cripple her to be honest.


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## Blaze163 (Mar 21, 2013)

Oh, and my friend Dan says to add the phrase 'Hi, have a taste of my smoked pork cigar.' to the list.

Which apparantly works.


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## Veho (Mar 21, 2013)

No line, just give them The Look. 



Spoiler


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## emigre (Mar 21, 2013)

Blaze163 said:


> Worst I've heard though is my friend Kai asking many a girl at the club 'Would you like a meat flavoured lollipop?'.
> 
> He gets kicked in the nuts a lot.


 
Does Kai know how much potential horse meat is in his lollipop?


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## Veho (Mar 21, 2013)

emigre said:


> Does Kai know how much potential horse meant is in his lollipop?


I thought "horse" had a positive connotation in this context?


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## bowser (Mar 21, 2013)

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Wanna ride my hot rod? It's pure American muscle baby!


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## pokefloote (Mar 21, 2013)

*leans against wall* hey u wanna make out *slips and falls down*


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## chavosaur (Mar 21, 2013)

Ay gurl, let me squirtle on dem jigglypuffs~


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## Hyro-Sama (Mar 21, 2013)




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## bowser (Mar 21, 2013)

Would you mind looking a little less hot? You're making me stare at you.


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## Blaze163 (Mar 21, 2013)

emigre said:


> Does Kai know how much potential horse meat is in his lollipop?


 
Dunno, he usually brags about how many horses his lollipop's been in.

FYI, by horses we mean ugly/easy chicks. Not actual horses. Thought I better clarify that.


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## WiiUBricker (Mar 21, 2013)

Hey there, come here.  Don't be afraid of my masculinity.


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## bowser (Mar 21, 2013)

WiiUBricker said:


> Hey there, come here. Don't be afraid of my masculinity.


I'm sorry, your what? Your minisculinity?


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## aaronz77 (Mar 21, 2013)

"Shut up and get in the trunk"

I've been married 12 years now, and I have invisible fencing.


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## jurassicplayer (Mar 21, 2013)

Hey there, would you like some candy?


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## Black-Ice (Mar 21, 2013)

jurassicplayer said:


> Hey there, would you like some candy?


Come here girl, i'll give you my sugar stick. Suck on it and reveal the syrup within ;o;


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## pokefloote (Mar 21, 2013)

SPOILER ALERT


Spoiler



it's a joke
i don't pickup kids


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## Sicklyboy (Mar 21, 2013)

Blaze163 said:


> I don't personally believe in chat up lines, I prefer to become friends with a girl and if it blossoms into something else, fair enough. My relationships just kinda...happen. In fact strictly speaking I've never asked a girl out in my life. Never needed to.
> 
> Worst I've heard though is my friend Kai asking many a girl at the club 'Would you like a meat flavoured lollipop?'.
> 
> He gets kicked in the nuts a lot.


 
I think you missed the point of the thread.



emigre said:


> It sounds like you're planning to cripple her to be honest.


No, I am...
WITH MY DICK.


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## joelv6 (Mar 21, 2013)

_Hi_
and thats my pick up line
and it only work for girls haha


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## Densetsu (Mar 21, 2013)

Veho said:


> No line, just give them The Look.


 


Spoiler







*+*



* = ???*


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## joelv6 (Mar 21, 2013)

Densetsu said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


= madness or shiny forheads lol


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## Black-Ice (Mar 21, 2013)

Densetsu said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## joelv6 (Mar 21, 2013)

Black-Ice said:


>


 
close enough


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## FAST6191 (Mar 21, 2013)

Blaze163 said:


> Dunno, he usually brags about how many horses his lollipop's been in.
> 
> FYI, by horses we mean ugly/easy chicks. Not actual horses. Thought I better clarify that.



Could be worse- it could be about how much horse has been put into his lollipop.


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## Veho (Mar 21, 2013)

FAST6191 said:


> Could be worse- it could be about how much horse has been put into his lollipop.


Seeing what he considers a viable pickup line, I'd say _a lot_.


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## J-Machine (Mar 21, 2013)

Did you hear the news? A beautiful woman was seen in *insert where you are here* "and your name is?" or "mind if I get the exclusive interview?" depending on your read of the dame.


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## Smuff (Mar 21, 2013)

Do you taste of horse, like your nan did ?


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## FAST6191 (Mar 21, 2013)

Smuff said:


> Do you taste of horse, like your nan did ?



I am split as to whether to reply with something like
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/06/24/horse_oysters/

Or say that anybody that could talk my grandparents into bed does OK by me. That said having sat in an retirement home doing the computer fixing bit and watching the "please use a condom talk" going on down the hall (everybody concerned was trying desperately hard to keep a straight face) that is probably not a problem.


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## wrettcaughn (Mar 21, 2013)

I am the KeyMaster.
Are you the Gatekeeper?


Leave it to Blaze to not "believe" in pick-up lines...


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## Blaze163 (Mar 21, 2013)

wrettcaughn said:


> I am the KeyMaster.
> Are you the Gatekeeper?
> 
> 
> Leave it to Blaze to not "believe" in pick-up lines...


 
Damn right. When I was in school, there was one girl in my class called Lauren. Every morning the guys would come in with these ridiculous chatup lines, making her uncomfortable. I'd just say 'hey'. Had no interest in picking her up. End result is when she wanted to actually talk to someone, she came to me. Pickup lines are bullshit, they make the majority of girls I ask about it uncomfortable. Occasionally I will hear of something original, which didn't work but at least proved to be amusing (like the two lads who in perfect synchronicity did the Animaniacs 'Helloooooo Nurse' to my friend Amelia, which she at least found funny even if they still didn't get her number) but more often than not the answer is that they find it offensive, even degrading, being treated like an object. Maybe it's just me and my social group, I dunno.


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## Tom Bombadildo (Mar 22, 2013)




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## gokujr1000 (Mar 22, 2013)

I'm from GBATemp.


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## wrettcaughn (Mar 22, 2013)

Blaze163 said:


> Damn right. When I was in school, there was one girl in my class called Lauren. Every morning the guys would come in with these ridiculous chatup lines, making her uncomfortable. I'd just say 'hey'. Had no interest in picking her up. End result is when she wanted to actually talk to someone, she came to me. Pickup lines are bullshit, they make the majority of girls I ask about it uncomfortable. Occasionally I will hear of something original, which didn't work but at least proved to be amusing (like the two lads who in perfect synchronicity did the Animaniacs 'Helloooooo Nurse' to my friend Amelia, which she at least found funny even if they still didn't get her number) but more often than not the answer is that they find it offensive, even degrading, being treated like an object. Maybe it's just me and my social group, I dunno.


It's one thing to doubt the effectiveness of pick up lines (I'd never actually use one).  It's another thing entirely to doubt their existence...


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## BORTZ (Mar 22, 2013)

"I came when I heard you beat the elite 4"


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## jurassicplayer (Mar 22, 2013)

I'm almost sure your chest would work as a wonderful pillow, but we should test it just in case. Don't worry, it's for science.


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## ProtoKun7 (Mar 22, 2013)

Do you have the attribute of quantum superposition? You're either interested in me or not, but I'm sure if I thought you were you're probably not.

You also don't seem to do anything when I observe you. Or suddenly you're on the other side of the room.

Hey, look! You're not there anymore; I suppose you do have a variable quantum state.

...oh.


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## ComeTurismO (Mar 22, 2013)

From a girl:
I need to drink something... HMMMMMMMM... *Coughs around her crush*
From a dude:
Your software makes my hardware.


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## Gahars (Mar 22, 2013)

ComeTurismO said:


> From a girl:
> I need to drink something... HMMMMMMMM... *Coughs around her crush*


 
Nothing turns me on like a sudden case of whooping cough.


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## Veho (Mar 22, 2013)

Tom Bombadildo said:


> *snip*


Oh, so now it's a SMBC-off?


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## pyromaniac123 (Mar 22, 2013)

Eeeyyyyy gurl, you can have anything off the pound saver menu, coz I think you're special.


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## shoyrumaster11 (Mar 22, 2013)

I don't really do pickup lines...

Here's what mine would probably be:

Heeeeeeyy, I see you've got glowing eyes cuz you are hooo-ot!


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## RedCoreZero (Mar 22, 2013)

I found a 3DS hack!


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## RedCoreZero (Mar 22, 2013)

Hey girl, are you google, because you have everything I'm looking for.



Spoiler



Clever boy


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## J-Machine (Mar 23, 2013)

Gahars said:


> Nothing turns me on like a sudden case of whooping cough.


oh ya. when I hear dem honies cough i'm all like "whoop der it is!" and I get up all in her business.


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## Thesolcity (Mar 23, 2013)

I'll press your Konami code.


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## Castiel (Mar 23, 2013)

My bro actually heard someone try this one in real life:
"I have Skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?"


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## YayMii (Mar 23, 2013)

"Is your middle name poop? Because your body's the sh*t."

Or, if you manage to screw that one up:
"Is your middle name poop? Because you smell like sh*t."


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## FAST6191 (Mar 23, 2013)

Thesolcity said:


> I'll press your Konami code.



A few seconds of effort right at the start of a session and often the same between entities, followed by a poor won, one might even say fake, victory far premature of one good at things and finishing with a lingering sense of having not accomplished anything?


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## Smuff (Mar 23, 2013)

You remind of my one true love. The last time I went down on her I could taste horse. Then I remembered how she died. And that she was my sister.


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## bowser (Mar 23, 2013)

Smuff said:


> You remind of my one true love. The last time I went down on her I could taste horse. Then I remembered how she died. And that she was my sister.


WTF?


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## RedCoreZero (Mar 23, 2013)

Do you like games?Wanna play with my joystick?


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## frogboy (Mar 23, 2013)

YayMii said:


> "Is your middle name poop? Because you smell like sh*t."


GBATemp's idea of a pickup line, folks. It's a real classic. Gets 'em every time!


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## ProtoKun7 (Mar 23, 2013)

"If I said you had a nice body would you reveal that you are in fact a serial killer and thus have several more bodies in storage that you'd be willing to show me?"

Wait, I messed that one up.


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## Deleted_171835 (Mar 23, 2013)

Want to know what I'm playing right now? The World Ends With _You_. *cue CSI shades*


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## Gahars (Mar 23, 2013)

My pro strategy:

1) Get an FDR get-up going - including the wheelchair. It's essential.
2) Prowl the floor.
3) Acquire target and move in.
4) Make with the class. "Hey, baby, if you've got the holio, I've got the polio."

It's not quite perfected yet, but I have a success rate of 100% so far*.

*("Success" in this case is measured by punches to the face)


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## ShadowSoldier (Mar 23, 2013)

Walk up to a hot stranger:

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?"


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## ThatDudeWithTheFood (Mar 23, 2013)

Aye gurll what yo name is?


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## wrettcaughn (Mar 23, 2013)

Is that a vagina in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?


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## Fant (Mar 23, 2013)

Got any raisins?

"No"

Got any raisins not to come back to my place?

&

Do you know the 21 letters of the alphabet?

"Uh... there's 26."

Oh yeah, I must have forgotten about U R A Q T.


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## ThatDudeWithTheFood (Mar 23, 2013)

Also relevant.


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## J-Machine (Mar 24, 2013)

show up looking like the terminator but naked. ensure you have an erection (this is important) then say while pointing at yer junk "come with me if you want to live" followed by a wink.

if for some odd reason it doesn't work there is always "does this smell like chloroform to you?"


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## ComeTurismO (Mar 24, 2013)

Girl/Boy: If you get kidnapped, get placed in a bag from a fat man; don't worry. I wished you to be mine for Christmas, to Santa.


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## Veho (Mar 24, 2013)

Hey baby, wanna see my big hawk?    

"Yes, I said 'big _hawk_'; why? What did it sound like?"


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## J-Machine (Mar 24, 2013)

Veho said:


> Hey baby, wanna see my big hawk?
> 
> "Yes, I said 'big _hawk_'; why? What did it sound like?"


lemmie guess. They respond with "Why don't you get off your high horse loser."


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## Issac (Mar 24, 2013)

pokefloote said:


> *leans against wall* hey u wanna make out *slips and falls down*


This is almost how I broke my hand


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## wrettcaughn (Mar 24, 2013)

J-Machine said:


> show up looking like the terminator but naked.


I take it you've only seen The Terminator on cable?


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## J-Machine (Mar 24, 2013)

wrettcaughn said:


> I take it you've only seen The Terminator on cable?


I guess I should be t'd off by my misspelling of butt but I'm not. Thanks for letting me know though.


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## DoubleeDee (Mar 25, 2013)

Get the Doublee now... And the Dee later.


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## ProtoKun7 (Mar 26, 2013)

Gahars said:


> My pro strategy:
> 
> 1) Get an FDR get-up going - including the wheelchair. It's essential.
> 2) Prowl the floor.
> ...


I was expecting a success rate of 100% of subjects because the number of subjects was 0.


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