# Video Game Logic



## Deleted User (Jun 16, 2012)

List things that only make sense in video games:

Mushrooms makes you bigger instead of higher
When bosses get weaker, its attacks get stronger
Pokemon Trainers need a Pokemon to cut down a tree, when they can easily get a chainsaw.
There's an infinite amount of bombs in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but you can only obtain four bottles.
You can throw birds with a sling shot at green pigs.


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## AceWarhead (Jun 16, 2012)

-Silencers on guns make them magical silent killing machines


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## GameWinner (Jun 16, 2012)

-You can get drunk off the atmosphere.


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## Giggtysword344 (Jun 16, 2012)

- You can enslave god itself and make him do your bidding


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## marcus134 (Jun 16, 2012)

- you can get shot,slashed,crushed,minced, etc.. and survive as long as you have some hit point left
- you can become invisible by hiding under a cardboard box anywhere (even places where there aren't supposed to be cardboard boxes)


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## Pleng (Jun 16, 2012)

Yuki Amano said:


> List things that only make sense in video games:
> 
> When bosses get weaker, its attacks get stronger



I dunno... if you substitute 'stronger' for 'more desperate' I think it works in real life too...


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## 1NOOB (Jun 16, 2012)

-reviving items doesnt work for "real/story  death" on a character


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## iluvfupaburgers (Jun 16, 2012)

you regain your health back after being shot, just standing somewhere you cant get hit


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## The Catboy (Jun 16, 2012)

-If you hide behind a rock, all your wounds will heal


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## Snailface (Jun 16, 2012)

Modern video games:

You are not allowed to fall off ledges.


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## MelodieOctavia (Jun 16, 2012)

You can live forever as long as you have a Phoenix Down. Shot, stabbed, mauled or eaten, pop a Phoenix Down and you're good to go! In a cut-scene, though, if someone so much as touches a character with a pointy stick. BAM! Dead forever. Not even Phoenix down cam bring him/her back.


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## notmeanymore (Jun 16, 2012)

Floating numbers when you kill animals.


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## 324atk (Jun 16, 2012)

1. You can shoot yourself with a fake gun and make a devil appear and fight for you.
2. Characters are easily killed in cutscenes.
3. Final bosses always have multiple forms.
4. Every hero in the universe just happened to wear a green hat and tunic... and tights.
5. The bad guy saying, "Darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness, etc." then the good guy saying "LIGHT!" is the key to any successful RPG.
6. To quote Brentalfloss, "You're a squirrel who somehow has money, and sometimes swords and shields."

EDIT: There, finally fix'd


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## Crimsonclaw111 (Jun 16, 2012)

Inventories are never to scale, pockets are endless, etc.


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## LunaWofl (Jun 16, 2012)

Increasing your strength makes your guns more powerful.

No one cares if you break pots,

Your weapons, no matter how much you use them, never break.

Randomly encountered creatures carry money.

You instantly absorb any collectible items you walk into.


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## Snailface (Jun 16, 2012)

I swear, every jrpg I play starts out with an npc int the first town that warns of "monsters mysteriously increasing in the area". 

Seriously, why does every evil plot hatched by some "Dark Lord" begin by sending weak enemies your way to help you build experience? A real "Dark Lord" would send his best troops to wipe you out right at the beginning.


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## iluvfupaburgers (Jun 16, 2012)

carry lots of weapons and armory and still be able to move normally


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## MelodieOctavia (Jun 16, 2012)

iluvfupaburgers said:


> carry lots of weapons and armory and still be able to move normally



Building off of that...

Carry 299lbs of stuff...moving just fine, nothing I can't handle. 300lbs, NOPE! TOO MUCH! CANT MOVE NOW!


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## Zarcon (Jun 16, 2012)

Yuki Amano said:


> Mushrooms makes you bigger instead of higher


Being bigger means you're higher.
Mushrooms make you bigger.
Mushrooms make you higher.
Mushrooms make you high.
...
Miyamoto you magnificent bastard.
@[email protected]


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## Taleweaver (Jun 16, 2012)

-someone will always betray you for no reason whatsoever.
-RPG barbers are blind. Or at least color blind
-vehicles always explode if you wreck them. Even if you're doing it with your wrists. Yes, this includes tanks.
-nobody cares you're a mass murdering fighting machine as long as you mow their lawn if they ask you to.
-incidentally, mowing sufficient people's lawn can make you better at dismantling bombs if you choose to.
-everyone thinks you a hero because you're trying to save the world. But they only help you if you mow their lawn.
-you're the only one who actually GETS SHIT DONE (seriously? how can all these NPC's afford their house if, at best, they can walk around in it?)
-going to your backyard and picking up the sword that's in there isn't "normal"...it's a prophecy that was predicted ages ago.
-drinking potions instantly and fully heals you from arrows to the knee.
-magic defies physics, the laws of time, space, conservation of energy and just about anything else you may have ever learned.
-you pick up things by walking over them.
-nobody cares if you break all their vases or set fire to their chickens
-Goomba's can't look up


...I could go on and on, really.


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## emigre (Jun 16, 2012)

Video game logic is flawed logic.


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## Narayan (Jun 16, 2012)

getting hit in the knee will end your adventures.


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## Deleted-236924 (Jun 16, 2012)

It is possible to go back in time and do whatever you want without any risk of causing time paradoxes and such.



FrozenIndignation said:


> Your weapons, no matter how much you use them, never break.









 and


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## Taleweaver (Jun 16, 2012)

-people don't mind telling the exact same thing over and over and over again.
-furniture can be divided into A) breaks into pieces/splinters as soon as you come near, and B) unbreakable titanium
-girls are NEVER ugly or fat.
-eating, sleeping and using the toilet can be done pretty much whenever the opportunity arises. However, it's never a necessity.
-you'll get medals for even the most boring routine jobs.


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## Pleng (Jun 16, 2012)

Snailface said:


> I swear, every jrpg I play starts out with an npc int the first town that warns of "monsters mysteriously increasing in the area".
> 
> Seriously, why does every evil plot hatched by some "Dark Lord" begin by sending weak enemies your way to help you build experience? A real "Dark Lord" would send his best troops to wipe you out right at the beginning.



While I have no idea what a jrpg or a npc is, I guess I have played some because I know the plot of which you speak. While the plot is a litte repetative, I don't think it's beyod the realms of possibility that it might take the "Dark Lord" time to build up his armies.

It does seem a coincidence that he seems to manage to ramp up production just as you have finished a level...


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## Deleted User (Jun 16, 2012)

Everyone who dies turns into money.


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## CrimzonEyed (Jun 16, 2012)

Video game logic.

The logic we wish was the real one.


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## iluvfupaburgers (Jun 16, 2012)

cops stop following you just by getting a paint job on your car


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## matt382 (Jun 16, 2012)

Buildings are bigger on the inside than the outside.
People don't even flinch when you just walk into their home and open their treasure chests, and leave.


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## Gahars (Jun 16, 2012)

You can stop and start time itself on a whim. Despite this amazing power, you can only use it to go through your items, pick a plan of attack, or catch a quick break.


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## wrettcaughn (Jun 16, 2012)

In a race against time to save the world, there's always time for sidequests...


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## SSVAV (Jun 16, 2012)

For some reason you can't die. Others can, but you can't. You will just be sent back in time, at some arbitrary chosen point before your death.


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## 1234turtles (Jun 16, 2012)

Teenage loners can wield swords like a master that has been practicing for years and even beat them.


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## KinGamer7 (Jun 16, 2012)

- It doesn't matter how important you are or how many good deeds you have done; discounts from merchants are far and few between.
- There's always at least one character that you'll come across on your quest who vastly over-powers you and all other beings in the world, yet they are always relegated to a 'mentor' role.
- Sleeping cures everything.
- It cures _everything._
- Nobody cares if you loot their entire house, but if you even _dare _to attack that stray chicken, you'll find the entire town seeking your blood.
- "You must go to this isolated locale and investigate the increasing incidence of deaths in what is otherwise completely unknown territory.
Here, take this pistol with 12 bullets for protection."


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## Pleng (Jun 17, 2012)

matt382 said:


> Buildings are bigger on the inside than the outside.
> People don't even flinch when you just walk into their home and open their treasure chests, and leave.



Everybody seems to have tresure chests in their home


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## AceWarhead (Jun 17, 2012)

Pleng said:


> matt382 said:
> 
> 
> > Buildings are bigger on the inside than the outside.
> ...


And no one minds when you smash their vases or bomb their cracks in the wall.


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## Nathan Drake (Jun 17, 2012)

You can kill all of the prostitutes that you want, but as soon as you steal a car, the police want your blood.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 17, 2012)

-On that matter: you can safely ignore all the speed limits or traffic lights. Heck, you can even drive into traffic lights if you want to...but you BETTER NOT SCRATCH A POLICE CAR WHILE DOING SO!!!
-nobody cares if you're running through a shopping mall carrying a missile defense system
-there's an unlimited supply of tetris blocks. Just...don't ask
-items like money and weapons apparently have this nuclear glow on them and tend to float in mid-air. It also shrinks about 2 to 5 times the size when you pick it up. And it shrinks even more when you're putting it in your pocket.
-somehow, it's possible to reload while dual-wielding two pistols without letting go of either one. This routine not only takes less than five seconds, it can be done at any time...even while falling down cliffs.
-your arms won't go numb if you hold them directly in front of you for hours on end. Even while holding the most heavy fireweapons.


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## bowser (Jun 17, 2012)

A giant, spiky, fire-breathing turtle (that can talk by the way) is your mortal enemy.

You can grab said turtle by the tail and swing it over your head like a lasso onto a giant spiky bomb.

It then dissolves and leaves behind a key.

Do this three times but you still can't kill it because you will face off again in the next game.

Go me!!


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## koimayeul (Jun 17, 2012)

Childhood friend is the hottest girl alive and is secretly in love with you. Also she is a maiden still.


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## Wizerzak (Jun 17, 2012)

Taking one final bullet in the arm will make your whole body flop down on the floor like a rag doll.
If you go to the edge of a city you hit your head on an invisible wall.
You can do endless rolls without getting dizzy or doing a single one wrong.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 18, 2012)

-Getting shot in the foot will make your eyes go red.
-you can somehow swim up and down while looking forward and without using your hands.
-glass, television and lights break easily, but paintings and posters can barely get a scratch.
-princesses don't marry kings. They marry - or SHOULD marry - plumbers.
-people tend to get glowing halo's above their head if they want to tell you something.


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## iluvfupaburgers (Jun 18, 2012)

when in a fight, you just wait for your turn to do an action. and allow the enemy to hit you without doing anything until your next turn


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## Deleted User (Jun 18, 2012)

You can fit a gigantic 877.4 pound Wailord into a tiny Pokeball that's only .5 feet and it will still weigh less than 2 pounds.


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## Blaze163 (Jun 18, 2012)

- Inns charge more the further away from home you are.
- Carrying a sword the size of a small houseboat is not only possible without breaking your elbows, it's not even considered noteworthy.
- Saving the world is considered a side note compared to collecting badges.
- Sega not sending everyone who bought Sonic 2006 a personalized note of apology and a coupon for free chocolates.
- Eating meat you find on the floor, inside a candle or hidden inside the wall of a cursed ancient castle is perfectly healthy.
- Necron showing up from nowhere without so much as a 'howdy' and expecting to be the final boss.
- Saving the day, going off to look for your fairy friend, and leaving all that cool stuff behind.
- Samus Aran speaking.
- The Phillips CDi.
- Nobody ever needs the bathroom.
- Orphans are always destined for great things.

I could go on, really. But I wouldn't want to leave you with nothing else to say.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 19, 2012)

-you can drive, operate and even fly every vehicle of which you know how to get in ("independance day" made good use of that logic)
-goomba's will never en masse start wearing spiked helmets
-even the most mundane task ever merits medals and praise
-people never leave their car unless you carjack them (cutscenes are exceptions)
-aliens come in a handful of totally different shapes (but each shape is a perfect clone). This is completely different from humans, where everyone looks relatively similar but never unique.


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## ZAFDeltaForce (Jun 19, 2012)

Every thing, including enemies and time itself, stops when you check your inventory


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## Taleweaver (Jun 20, 2012)

-music pops up from nowhere
-walls used to have a blocky texture if you looked close enough
-slaughtering hundreds, if not thousands, of baddies doesn't get you convicted. On the contrary: it is more likely to piss off another suicidal gang who'll come looking for you.
-barracks and war factories hold an infinite amount of units/vehicles inside, even if it doesn't look that way on the outside
-all Arabs and Russians are evil. The US army will be evil (and privatized) in the very-near future, but for the time being, they're hero-ing it up.


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## Vulpes Abnocto (Jun 20, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Everybody seems to have tresure chests in their home



You mean..you don't have a treasure chest? 
*eyes his intricately carved strongbox*

Let's see:
~You can find bullets in just about anything, so long as it seems out-of-place and breakable.
~Some asshole just _loves_ putting snakes in vases.
~Bloodthirsty demons are completely invulnerable until you use a seemingly mundane object (such as a flashlight) to burn away their defenses.
~Horses are better climbers than humans, and require no ropes. Same is true of certain tanks. 
~Got half of a clip left? That's okay. Just reload a new one. Those extra rounds magically return to your ammunition collection.


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## KinGamer7 (Jun 20, 2012)

If both of your parents are alive, you will amount to nothing.


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## iluvfupaburgers (Jun 20, 2012)

main character is basically a one man army


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## Lucifer666 (Jun 20, 2012)

In San Andreas the barber can grow your hair in a few seconds.
Throw an item at the wall to flatten it like a paper.
When you get shot in the arm, you can't see due to the blood that magically ended up in your eyes.
Rotate your car wheels to drive on water.


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## Pleng (Jun 20, 2012)

you can share a room with up to 3 other people, but it's impossible to wake them up no matter how hard you try

and, like, you're the only 4 people in this crazy world. All other citizens are.... _animals_! Oh well at least they can talk (I mean, yea, right) so there's no communication issues. Even if they do repeatedly want you to find them cockroaches and catch fish...


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## 4-leaf-clover (Jun 20, 2012)

You read a magazine about lockpicking and then later forget what the magazine was about..
A knife scratch/stab in the foot is stronger then a bullet in the head.
People will forgive you for shooting them in the head after holstering your weapon.
Local milita apparently have access to nukes, attack choppers, jets, ETC


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## .Chris (Jun 20, 2012)

Get shot in the head, get eaten by a zombie, bitten by a poisonous spider, and simply get nearly blown up...
Recover by some porkchops.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 20, 2012)

-merchants will always buy your excess stuff, no matter what it is, without asking questions
-nobody's saying anything if you start walking sideways or backwards, leave doors and windows open, or plain out start jumping around on ll the furniture.
-hearts give you more energy than red bull. Hearts also grow in grass.
-it's perfectly normal that children in green uniforms walk around with real swords, bow and arrows and plenty of other dangerous stuff.
-you singlehandedly fought every battle in world war 2 (in different resolutions, even!)


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## Pleng (Jun 21, 2012)

You can make a handsome living picking and selling fruit


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 21, 2012)

-Looking for a legendary sword? You can find one in almost any "sacred" rock/pedestal, and of course you're the only person in the world who's able to pull it out.
-Entering/saying words will give you anything from free guns and money to instant health refill
-No matter how much you try, sometimes you just can't jump over that tiny fence.


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## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 21, 2012)

marcus134 said:


> - you can get shot,slashed,crushed,minced, etc.. and survive as long as you have some hit point left
> - you can become invisible by hiding under a cardboard box anywhere (even places where there aren't supposed to be cardboard boxes)



ha the old cardboard box trick hu just like Zanzibar land.  Snake: it save my skin a few time in outer heave too


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## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 21, 2012)

snakepliskin12 said:


> marcus134 said:
> 
> 
> > - you can get shot,slashed,crushed,minced, etc.. and survive as long as you have some hit point left
> ...



i think this song right here fits the quot nicely  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sq8VDXlWQk


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## Deleted User (Jun 21, 2012)

Nobody helps the hero.


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## 1234turtles (Jun 21, 2012)

Yuki Amano said:


> Nobody helps the hero.


Yeah and they always come up with some excuse why they can't help.


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## triassic911 (Jun 23, 2012)

If you get shot by the mafia/gangsters, run to the nearest hot-dog stand to eat one and you will be as good as new.


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## injected11 (Jun 23, 2012)

Become super-strong, find piles of amazing weapons and tools, and learn tons of amazing abilities to save the world. Forget and lose them all by the time your sequel comes around.


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 23, 2012)

triassic911 said:


> iluvfupaburgers said:
> 
> 
> > main character is basically a one man army
> ...


Err...almost all video games made should come to mind.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 23, 2012)

-Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water
-by the way: your clothes will never be wet longer than two seconds after leaving water. Weapons won't cease functioning it. Heck...in most cases, you can even shoot fireballs through water
-baddies either have a HUMONGOUSLY bad karma or a VERY bad body smell. Merely touching them will damage or even kill you
-it's called a dungeon even if it's really a castle made of interconnecting clouds
-shifting gears? What's that?


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## Pleng (Jun 23, 2012)

Wever said:


> -Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water



You never been in water?


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 23, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Wever said:
> 
> 
> > -Mario is so heavy (no, not fat: HEAVY) he sinks in water
> ...


The human body floats in water, cuz y'know, it's like 98% water.


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## Pleng (Jun 23, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > Wever said:
> ...



A dead human body certainly floats in water

A living one, no. There'd be little point in boats and swimming if they did


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 23, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > Pleng said:
> ...


A living one, yeah. Clothes are what make you sink. If you were to jump in a calm pool of water nude you'd be able to float as long as you lay on whatever side of your body that has the most surface area (hence why people lay on their backs in pools).


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## Narayan (Jun 23, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > Suprgamr232 said:
> ...


 i can't float lying on my back. only when i lay face down with my face in the water.


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 23, 2012)

Narayan said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > Pleng said:
> ...


Same concept, other side of body.


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## Black-Ice (Jun 23, 2012)

A pidgey can fly me across the world.


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## Squeechy (Jun 23, 2012)

You are the most powerful hero in the known universe and you are the last hope of humankind - yet you can't jump over a fence or an ankle high rock or sometimes even jump at all.

Bad guy - "You can't win. I have a stepladder!"
Hero - "Ok....  "


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## Black-Ice (Jun 23, 2012)

Squeechy said:


> You are the most powerful hero in the known universe and you are the last hope of humankind - yet you can't jump over a fence or an ankle high rock or sometimes even jump at all.
> 
> Bad guy - "You can't win. I have a stepladder!"
> Hero - "Ok....  "


*uses cheat code, breaks stepladder*
#winning


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## Pleng (Jun 23, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > Suprgamr232 said:
> ...



Fair point

but Mario IS wearing clothes, and ISN'T lying on his back, soo....


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## Black-Ice (Jun 23, 2012)

OH OH I GOT A GOOD ONE!
Get your heart poked out your chest by a huge dragon and somehow still live,
Dragons Dogma, totally legit.


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## Hydreigon (Jun 23, 2012)

- That flimsy wooden box right there? Yeah, it survived an atomic explosion.
- Injured by a high-powered rifle? Just hide behind crappy cover to nurse yourself to full health in mere seconds.


Spoiler: And this.


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## Wizerzak (Jun 23, 2012)

-Drive a car at just 30mph up a ramp and send it flying into the air for and incredible 5 - 10 seconds.
-You can take off at ridiculously steep angles in a plane with no side-effects.
-Cars will always explode, no matter what type of collision.
-Dents in cars are always the same shape, regardless of what caused them.
-Nuclear missiles are practically disposable and terrorists have extremely easy access to them.
-You can never run out of parachutes.
-Faceplanting the side of a building doesn't hurt a bit, nor does grinding your face along numerous metal supports.
-There are approximately 6 types of car within a 300km radius.

(Yes, I've been playing too much Just Cause 2)/


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## Taleweaver (Jun 23, 2012)

(and now for some game*R* logic):

-you don't hang around for the visuals...you do it because of the experience
-it's perfectly normal to backtrack to a previous point in time to try the same thing again. Over and over, if you have to.
-if you suck at shooting things, it's because the gun isn't controlled with a mouse
-shooting people and teabagging them is okay. So is blowing up the entire environment. Calling people names or having interest in female anatomy, however...that's going to throw you out of the world
-doing the same routine over and over again (generally killing the same bad guys in the same environments and looting everything but the furniture) is a perfect way to spend the afternoon. It'll get you more stuff you can use to upgrade your skills and gear...so you can do the same routine even BETTER!


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## The Pi (Jun 23, 2012)

-Haystacks can absorb infinite dead bodies.
-See that painting over there? Yeah, you can jump through it just like water into a whole new world!
-If you aren't holding any rings, ANYTHING will kill you but if you are holding just one you can be set on fire with no damage.
-You can carry 99 pokeballs, 99 great balls, 99 ultraballs and 99 of every other pokeball. But carrying 7 Hoppips in pokeballs at once is just too heavy.
-You can punch trees down with your bare hands into perfect cubes.
-Shoot your girlfriend on a date once and she gets a little mad but shoot her again and that's just too far and the date is over. But you can call her the next day like nothing ever happened.
-You can go from a test subject to a mad scientist is just a month or two.
-Those who smoke hashish make excellent assassins.
-No one reacts to bloody clothes. Further, hospitals/doctors clean and stitch up your clothes as well as give you a full recovery.
-Hitting a rock everyday with a shovel yields big bucks.

Blah blah blah.


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## wrettcaughn (Jun 23, 2012)

- All female video game characters are supermodels
- 7 times out of 8, the princess will be in another castle


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## Hitomi163 (Jun 23, 2012)

Old8oy said:


> - All female video game characters are supermodels



You got that right 

Also, spammers will still beat skilled players. What's up with that? Watching Blaze at a big MW3 contest the other night and this kid that sprays like an incontinent fire hose. Only thanks to him not looking where he was going that Blaze won the match. Gotta love them claymores.

Dragonball Z games, people can take a big-ass laser to the face and be perfectly fine with it.


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## Black-Ice (Jun 23, 2012)

If I can put a pokemon in a pokeball, why can't I put a human?


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## Blaze163 (Jun 23, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> If I can put a pokemon in a pokeball, why can't I put a human?



Well that would mean humans are carried in human balls. Which if you think about it is kinda correct...


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## Devin (Jun 23, 2012)

You can hit someone with a keyblade, and they turn into Munny.
Burying tools, and later unburying them makes them gold.


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## Black-Ice (Jun 23, 2012)

Rain doesn't exist in the worlds of Sonic or Infamous.
If it did, they would die.


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## Thanatos Telos (Jun 24, 2012)

injected11 said:


> Become super-strong, find piles of amazing weapons and tools, and learn tons of amazing abilities to save the world. Forget and lose them all by the time your sequel comes around.


Megaman (All of them, especially BN) is a major offender.
Armed enemies that you're terrorizing as Batman say we when there's only one left.
If you hit something from the left, it'll spin clockwise.
Giant Bird feathers can't be used to make stuff, but small bird feathers can be.
Also, blue bird feathers are different from bird feathers.


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 24, 2012)

Every "evil" army or organization uses clones of 4-6 different people. That's why there's always so many and why they all look practically identical.


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## ComeTurismO (Jun 24, 2012)

I must worship you for making this thread.

Mario gets health from coins.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 24, 2012)

-you can recognize superbaddies because they show off or loudly scream in your face before beginning to fight. You can tell they're bosses if they tell you all about their evil plans.
-dungeons have no ceiling (diablo reference)
-despite having nearly no proven commanding experience, you can order men into firelines and even straight under the wheels of an enemy tank without them protesting
-people are either good or evil. There is no inbetween (yes, even betrayers go from good directly to evil without any stops inbetween)
-you will never get tired from running, climbing or carrying around dozens of kilo's of stuff.


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## ShadowSoldier (Jun 24, 2012)

Wever said:


> -your arms won't go numb if you hold them directly in front of you for hours on end. Even while holding the most heavy fireweapons.



This one is actually a bit messed up. If you play a Co-Op game for like say Halo 3, on your screen, your gun is always up, but on your friends screen, your character puts his gun down like a normal person and stuff.

Anyways, for my logic, the time in a day and night are only a couple minutes.


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## iluvfupaburgers (Jun 24, 2012)

ShadowSoldier said:


> Wever said:
> 
> 
> > -your arms won't go numb if you hold them directly in front of you for hours on end. Even while holding the most heavy fireweapons.
> ...


i believe what mention about shadow, happens in games like CoD. i believe in halo they always have the gun raised, even when seen from the other player's perspective


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## Narayan (Jun 24, 2012)

The Pi said:


> -Those who smoke hashish make excellent assassins.





> The name "Assassin" is often said to derive from the Arabic _Hashishin_ or "users of hashish",[1] to have been originally derogatory and used by their adversaries during the Middle Ages. However Amin Malouf states that "The truth is different. According to texts that have come down to us from Alamut, Hassan-i Sabbah liked to call his disciples Asasiyun, meaning people who are faithful to the Asās, meaning 'foundation' of the faith. This is the word, misunderstood by foreign travelers, that seemed similar to 'hashish'".


from wikipedia. 
there are several theories about the connection. 
i've read once that the "assassins" are drugged so that they were able to kill without remorse.


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## Deleted User (Jun 24, 2012)

{{}}


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## The Pi (Jun 24, 2012)

Narayan said:


> The Pi said:
> 
> 
> > -Those who smoke hashish make excellent assassins.
> ...



That's what I was referencing.


----------



## Narayan (Jun 24, 2012)

The Pi said:


> Narayan said:
> 
> 
> > The Pi said:
> ...


but i thought this thread was supposed to be "video game logic." 
but it's also considered outside the games.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 24, 2012)

Scenario 1:
40 foot long blue sea serpent monster (that evolves spontaneously from a useless fish the size of your hand) fired a huge beam of pure energy! It critically hits a tiny green caterpillar square on and is super effective against it!

Tiny green caterpillar fainted, BUT HE'S STILL ALIVE!!!

Scenario 2:
Carrying heavy iron boots, along with multiple swords, shields, 30 bombs, 30 arrows, thousands of rupees, 4 bottles, and tons of other assorted items and weapons in your (usually nonexistent) backpack keeps you light as a feather. But the moment you put on those iron boots, you're instantly heavy enough to sink to the bottom of the ocean.


----------



## roastable (Jun 24, 2012)

-Your mother's sole purpose in life is to serve you as a personal bank.
-You are able to survive underwater by somehow harnessing the scarce bubbles that occasionally appear. Oh, also. You are a blue hedgehog that runs at the speed of sound.
-Going face first into a red spring at over 600mph has no physical repercussions whatsoever.
-No one except for police have their car doors locked.
-Enemies that you couldn't touch with your wooden sword at the beginning of the game, are suddenly vulnerable to it near the end.
-Lightsabers can cut through metal. The tree in front of you is completely indestructible.


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 24, 2012)




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## Guild McCommunist (Jun 24, 2012)

Russians are always evil. Always.


----------



## DeadLocked (Jun 24, 2012)

ITT: The gameplay of any RPG ever.


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 24, 2012)

DeadLocked said:


> ITT: The gameplay of any RPG ever.


If your character only has 1HP left in a turn-based battle against the boss, and the boss attacks, your character will just stand there and take the hit. After all, that's only fair, right?


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## Tsuteto (Jun 24, 2012)

*You come to a fallen pillar.  You stand there, looking at your destination right beyond it.  It would take 10 seconds to just jump over the pillar and walk over to it.  But no, you're told to find another way around.  So you spend two hours, going some long way around, only to find out someone has taken what you were searching for, all because you can't jump over a freakin' pillar.
*A dead baby will give you a super powerful beam that you can destroy anything with.
*Have cape, will fly
*Whenever you walk into a room that you can see just fine, you have to stand in the doorway as it loads.
*By kicking your feet really fast, you can float just a little higher.
*Despite you and your foe being in completely different time periods, you're going to smash each other's faces in anyway.
*You just got hit by a sword across your chest!  Just a flesh wound.  You just punched the guy who sliced you in his arm!  He's down and out.
*Delivering papers to earn a little cash: Have an entire training course to become better at doing so.
*Have super-powered bullets that you can shoot the enemy with a thousand times over, and he's only now just starting to show slowing down.  Wait, is that a piece of dust in the air?  Oh crap, it's going to touch me-BOOM!  You're dead.


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## Deleted-236924 (Jun 25, 2012)

http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/examples-funny-video-game-logic


----------



## Guild McCommunist (Jun 25, 2012)

I forgot to add that apparently nowadays it's better to bring a knife to a gunfight.


----------



## lokomelo (Jun 25, 2012)

*- "Hot Skitty on Wailord Action": That's most illogical thing that already existed in gaming*

Others that I remember:

- If you have a car, make your turns putting two wheels on sidewalk (at 220 Km/h) and you car will be ok. (And this kind of game claim to be "realistic")

- Cars can hit walls, sometimes take damage, but the wall take no damage at all

- In real life, cigarettes kill you after years, on Metal Gear Solid you start to die instantly

- Mario and Sonic at Olympic games: Mario swim with hat, and WIN

- Every life form of universe talk in American English, even in Rome (that we know that is older than the English language itself)


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## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 25, 2012)

Guild McCommunist said:


> Russians are always evil. Always.


yea like what the hell did we ever do to them to piss them off so bad ???


----------



## Joe88 (Jun 25, 2012)

snakepliskin12 said:


> Guild McCommunist said:
> 
> 
> > Russians are always evil. Always.
> ...


I blame tetris


----------



## gameandmatch (Jun 25, 2012)

If your feet are touching the ground when your head taps a corner, you die. (some sonic games)


----------



## someonewhodied (Jun 25, 2012)

Floor Ice Cream Gives You Health


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## Pleng (Jun 25, 2012)

Your sword will kill all the bad guys, but villagers and other friendly people are immune to it. Chickens get hurt, but survive.


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 25, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Your sword will kill all the bad guys, but villagers and other friendly people are immune to it. Chickens get hurt, but survive.


Invincible chickens have a personal vendetta against you if you attack them enough... but forget the moment you leave an area or walk through a door


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## Black-Ice (Jun 25, 2012)

You have instant invincibility until you reach 18.


----------



## Pleng (Jun 25, 2012)

You can powerslide around every corner, and it's pretty much the fastest way to get around the track.


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## weavile001 (Jun 25, 2012)

-you can be the FBI most wanted   , you are in a old car, when you enter a paint shop , and paint your car , you will turn into a new person
-you get hit by over 8000 rocket lauchers missiles and still survive
-on the overworld you can be taller than a mountain
-you can kill lucifer with a stick
-you are in cuba , then a princess from here( fantasy ) die , the people japan know before of you
-when you have an egg you can carry it around and the chick will born


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## Sora de Eclaune (Jun 25, 2012)

In battle: "Fire ball!" Causes 2 damage and costs 100 MP, leaving you with no MP. In cutscene: "Fire ball!" Causes 500 damage and is spammed way more times than the character has MP.
You have to go kill a giant force of evil immediately or it will destroy the world? Why not go kill some spiders in my pumpkin patch for 2 gold?
Oh look! A waist-high fence you can't just climb over!
Look! A potion! Wait, I have no room in my bag for it. Oh look, an Ether! I'll just stack it with the other ones.
Arceus is God. You can catch Arceus. No trainer in the game says anything about this when you use Arceus against their Pokemon.
Water? Oh noooo, you can't swim! You instantly drown!
Punch trees, get wood.
Go back in time 3 days, live those 3 days, go back in time again. Spend years doing this, but never age.
That prophecy you heard about is true. Always.


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## Black-Ice (Jun 25, 2012)

Sora de Eclaune said:


> In battle: "Fire ball!" Causes 2 damage and costs 100 MP, leaving you with no MP. In cutscene: "Fire ball!" Causes 500 damage and is spammed way more times than the character has MP.
> You have to go kill a giant force of evil immediately or it will destroy the world? Why not go kill some spiders in my pumpkin patch for 2 gold?
> Oh look! A waist-high fence you can't just climb over!
> Look! A potion! Wait, I have no room in my bag for it. Oh look, an Ether! I'll just stack it with the other ones.
> ...



Thats when I'd join team rocket.
If you can catch god in a compact ball, I can do what ever the fuck I want


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## weavile001 (Jun 25, 2012)

Sora de Eclaune said:


> In battle: "Fire ball!" Causes 2 damage and costs 100 MP, leaving you with no MP. In cutscene: "Fire ball!" Causes 500 damage and is spammed way more times than the character has MP.
> You have to go kill a giant force of evil immediately or it will destroy the world? Why not go kill some spiders in my pumpkin patch for 2 gold?
> Oh look! A waist-high fence you can't just climb over!
> Look! A potion! Wait, I have no room in my bag for it. Oh look, an Ether! I'll just stack it with the other ones.
> ...




that would be the best thing ever , you can kill everyone and go back in time,fuck all the girls and go back in time  

if a rare creature only borns every 1000000000000000 years , you will see it happen when you enter the location ,for the first time.


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## Black-Ice (Jun 25, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> that would be the best thing ever , you can kill everyone and go back in time,fuck all the girls and go back in time


Way to stick it out there mate


----------



## weavile001 (Jun 25, 2012)

"hey mister , my doll has been stolen by that bahamut .
'DONT WORRY I will get that doll back , even not knowing where the hell that thing is


----------



## alidsl (Jun 25, 2012)

You're dead, you can stay alive if you win at a week long game, lol jk you're dead, play the game again and you can live, lol you've fallen for this shit twice, ok ok just one more week, this shit is hilarious


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 25, 2012)

Video games: Where the phrase #YOLO never applies... No exceptions.


----------



## weavile001 (Jun 25, 2012)

alidsl said:


> You're dead, you can stay alive if you win at a week long game, lol jk you're dead, play the game again and you can live, lol you've fallen for this shit twice, ok ok just one more week, this shit is hilarious


is that refering to the world ends with you?


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 25, 2012)

Who is princess peach's security tea,?
And why arent they fired


----------



## alidsl (Jun 25, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> alidsl said:
> 
> 
> > You're dead, you can stay alive if you win at a week long game, lol jk you're dead, play the game again and you can live, lol you've fallen for this shit twice, ok ok just one more week, this shit is hilarious
> ...


yeah


----------



## SSVAV (Jun 25, 2012)

Vehicles can drive themselves, without a pilot.

Also it seems the radio guy they're listening to all day knows where they are and what they are doing at all times. Creepy.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Jun 25, 2012)

Niko from GTA IV survives one of the most stunts that are 100+%  to kill you.
Link attacks enemies, but when you use your sword on residents nothing happens; you can't hit them..


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## Sora de Eclaune (Jun 25, 2012)

Your entire party dies and you wake up at the last save point. No explanation is given to you, and no one ever comes forth saying they took you back.
You're a girl. You're in your underwear. The underwear is very modest and is comprised of a spaghetti strap top and shorts-type undies. This does not protect you one bit. You put on a bikini, which covers less than your underwear, and gain +100 defense!
*Insert race here* are a rare/hated species. There is one of that race in your party. No one ever mentions anything, and some seem to regard that character as a local.
Flying airships that should, logically, not be able to fly because they are way heavier than air and their propulsion is usually wind, rowing paddles, propeller blades attached in useless places, or any combination of these.
You never need to sleep or eat. Ever.
You're starting a new journey. You've been practicing swordplay since you were little. As soon as you set out, your mentor has to reteach you the basics.
You just finished a journey and (in a sequel) go to start a new one. Your level resets to 1, you lose all your equipment, and only make vague (or none at all) references to the previous game.


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## weavile001 (Jun 25, 2012)

Sora de Eclaune said:


> Your entire party dies and you wake up at the last save point. No explanation is given to you, and no one ever comes forth saying they took you back.
> You're a girl. You're in your underwear. The underwear is very modest and is comprised of a spaghetti strap top and shorts-type undies. This does not protect you one bit. You put on a bikini, which covers less than your underwear, and gain +100 defense!
> *Insert race here* are a rare/hated species. There is one of that race in your party. No one ever mentions anything, and some seem to regard that character as a local.
> Flying airships that should, logically, not be able to fly because they are way heavier than air and their propulsion is usually wind, rowing paddles, propeller blades attached in useless places, or any combination of these.
> ...



simply , on the last statement , you become dumb


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## Pleng (Jun 26, 2012)

When the a weird turtle monster mashup grabs the princess and takes her to another castle, you just stand an watch. It's only once she's safely enraptured in that castle you decide to start following.

This happens 8 times and you still don't work out it might be better to start chasing _as soon as he grabs her_


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## DoubleeDee (Jun 26, 2012)

Eating an apple heals cuts.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 26, 2012)

-it's perfectly normal to be able to jump 3 to 5 times your own height
-nobody gives you weird looks if you bump into the doorframe on the way out.
-eating things won't make you fat, even if the portions are usually about half the size of your character. Or larger (Kirby, anyone?). You also eat EVERYTHING. No need to unwrap the banana peel or cook the raw meat. Heck...you even eat the cups that come with any drinks.
-slain enemies are known to evaporate into thin air.
-you're always THERE when something big, earth-shocking happens. Heck...you're like Forrest Gump times ten!




Pingouin7 said:


> http://www.smosh.com...ideo-game-logic


ROFL!   (there are some AWESOME pics in there)


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 26, 2012)

Wever said:


> -nobody gives you weird looks if you bump into the doorframe on the way out.


They don't give you weird looks if parts of your body pass straight through the door frame (or any other solid object, for that matter) either.


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## weavile001 (Jun 26, 2012)

even if you are torn apart ther is a potion that will glue your body ,
and if you throw a rock into a mountain size robot it will damage him seriously , but a meteot should make it tickles ,
and you cant slash a glass, every glass is a gorila glass


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## Taleweaver (Jun 27, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Wever said:
> 
> 
> > -nobody gives you weird looks if you bump into the doorframe on the way out.
> ...


Damn I wish I had come up with that one... 


-it's perfectly normal to change direction in mid-air...or even do another jump WHILE in mid-air
-back in ye old days of quake and half life the landscape was so flat you could sharpen a knife on the edges
-glitches like in the matrix are common. So is falling through cracks to the center of a hollow world, hollow spots in the landscape (if you search for them) and generally dissapearing from the world if you did something in a certain succession. (yes, I'm stealing your remark  ).
-if you do everything what others tell you, they WILL reward you and you WILL grow from a nerdy kid into the greatest hero ever known.
-it's perfectly normal that a fat Italian plumber saves a princess about twice every freakin' year now...but a gun on which the sounds are slightly off gets picked up immediately.


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 27, 2012)

Wever said:


> -it's perfectly normal to change direction in mid-air...or even do another jump WHILE in mid-air


They're farting in midair to gain the extra momentum for an extra jump or direction change, obviously!


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 27, 2012)

Wever said:


> -it's perfectly normal that a fat Italian plumber saves a princess about twice every freakin' year now...but a gun on which the sounds are slightly off gets picked up immediately.


I get where you're coming from, but Mario isn't mean to be realistic in any way while...most modern FPS are. 

-Weapon development/avalability of weapons seems to increase dramatically in short periods of time.


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## weavile001 (Jun 27, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Wever said:
> 
> 
> > -it's perfectly normal that a fat Italian plumber saves a princess about twice every freakin' year now...but a gun on which the sounds are slightly off gets picked up immediately.
> ...


you can carry every weapon in the world in your pockets but you cant carry a soldier in your pockets
you catch a wild pokemon in the ocean
needs to teach it surf for swim in the water


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## DrOctapu (Jun 28, 2012)

People only forget your name once.


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## Pleng (Jun 28, 2012)

Being stung by bees is a perfectly valid accident insurance policy claim


----------



## Subarashii (Jun 28, 2012)

When you release a huge black round dog that before obviously wanted to kill you runs away.


----------



## Izen (Jun 28, 2012)

- You only have to feed a newly-hatched dinosaur 5 turtles for it to become fully-grown. (Assuming it didn't hatch fully-grown)
- You can drive off a cliff, under water, or through an inferno, but just get out on your tires and you're good to go.
- A game can have 200 hours of play-time, but one outfit will survive through every minute, through any environment.
- You can dig as many holes as you want, break as many rocks, and chop as many bushes as you want, everything will return to normal once you leave the area.
- If it can fly, you can ride it.

And of course, the ever-present
- The lava can't hurt you if you don't touch it.


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## Sicklyboy (Jun 28, 2012)

Not reading the topic right now, so possibly already mentioned, but:

Get shot in chest five times - BLOOD SCREEN!
Fall off five foot ledge - SHIT I DIED.


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## deishido (Jun 28, 2012)

Narayan said:


> The Pi said:
> 
> 
> > -Those who smoke hashish make excellent assassins.
> ...



I could have sworn Assassin was a word created by Shakespeare as an occupational term for someone who assaults.



Anyway, You're never able to just squeeze past thin trees, they must be cut by an enslaved animal
Ghosts may exist without ever having been alive
Enslaving the gods has absolutely no foul consequences
You're perfectly fine until you take that last bit of damage, then you suffer critical existence failure


----------



## SixSenseEagle (Jun 28, 2012)

1. you can only run for 10 seconds when your in a battlefield.
2. you use the same game engine through the past 4 games and its still not update with the new gen and the game engine is still retarded lol
3. if you take a bullet to the head when your high level your fine but when you take a knife to the head as high level... its all over xD
4.i can use an xray and i can crack any bone on your body to the point you can't do nothing but yet your still alive and still moving... shouldn't you be dead already???
5.i can kill a whole bunch of people and run overpeople in an openworld game yet people watch and do nothing
6.i can transform into a vampire or a werewolf and lv up with these two beast so lets say i choose to be a vampire my weakness is the sun but i choose to go outside wearing hooded robes or full set knight armor knowing that something bad will happen but i choose to go outside anyway but as soon as i go outside im dead shouldn't someone give me an option to wear some hooded robes or something that cover my whole body from the sun and take a lil damage like they do in certain movies???
7. i yet save the princess again for the 100 time and you still don't remember me and i still don't get no reward??? no special game content no cake or nothing just a freaking ending everytime i beat the game... something is very wrong


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## triassic911 (Jun 28, 2012)

Painkillers heal more than just pain.


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 28, 2012)

Whenever you walk over health kits (that are scattered in random places), they magically are absorbed through your shielded armor and self-apply their contents to your flesh. They also magically "heal" you as opposed to just patching you up until you can see a proper doctor. You can do this as many times as you wish, even though logically it means that, eventually, about 90% of your body will be made of biofoam.


----------



## Hop2089 (Jun 28, 2012)

This also falls into Anime logic but sword hits and such not drawing blood and in Senran Kagura and Queen's Blade, not even ripping the entire outfit off if clothing damage is near max, I see in Kagura many of the outfits don't shred completely despite the characters wearing lingerie or a swimsuit under it and you can fight in just lingerie or a swimsuit for the Power Style so it's not an excuse.

In nearly every beat-em up the whole group doesn't attack you but 1-2 enemies attack you and the rest wait even if they are surrounding you.

Guns, knives, and other weapons can come out of everywhere even places where you didn't expect or want to expect.

You don't want to know where all the items a character holds is stored (if they aren't stored in a known handbag, pack, purse, etc.)

Money can be used as a weapon in some instances.


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## weavile001 (Jun 28, 2012)

a hotdog seller watches you murder 100 persons in front of him and happily sells you a hotdog
you can buy pure gold for $1000000000 , but even 1 second after buy , and sell it , it will only be the half of the price, this law aplies for everything


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## Taleweaver (Jun 28, 2012)

-blood stains fall right of your clothes...even after murdering a dozen innocents with a chainsaw.
-if it's snowing, your footprints will be completely covered within half a minute
-baddies always have infinite ammo. Until they drop the gun...at which point only a couple rounds will remain (IF he drops the gun, that is. It happens far too often you don't even bother with it).
-it's perfectly normal that a mayor of a small village has the powers to raise or lower the land, destroys houses and even skyscrapers within seconds...but a simple fire causes all hell to break loose.
-speaking of mayors...you would vote this guy to run your home town...right?


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 28, 2012)

iluvfupaburgers said:


> cops stop following you just by getting a paint job on your car



im going to have to disagree on that one i mean in real life that can happen if you are quick enough and can get to a paint shop on time if you know what your doing so the cops wont follow you


----------



## Slyakin (Jun 28, 2012)

Go get a haircut when bald, come out with a fucking sweet-ass afro.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 28, 2012)

Double jump.
It defies science


----------



## triassic911 (Jun 29, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> Double jump.
> It defies science


You are jumping on Oxygen molecules.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

No matter how many or what kind of bullets you shoot at your friends, you'll simply never kill them.


----------



## Rasas (Jun 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> No matter how many or what kind of bullets you shoot are your friends, you'll simply never kill them.


Depends on the game sometimes you kill them sometimes you don't or you just wound them.
Melee attacks not hitting walls
You can destroy certain things and they come back. Grass, enemies pots etc
You don't shoot the person always in the cutscenes and let them do a long boring speech then get in their high powered weapon
Security for homes and certain locations suck
You never seem to get tired throughout the journey
Corpses can get stuck it walls and other objects
No matter how much time you take the villain usually waits for you
Falling generally does a set amount of damage or none no matter the height
You can time travel to redo quests certain times
The weather usually never changes no matter how much time passes.
Your own weapon can go through your body same with then enemy
You can buy a endless amount of items from stores usually despite them only having so much space and so many items on display
Despite being cloaked or hidden bosses see you clearly when regular people cannot.
Hardly anything degrades or gets rotten over time
People generally ask you to do something before giving you something despite you being a hero who is trying to save them or the world
You always have a way to get out and never get stuck like some unfortunate NPCs.
You hardly ever if not ever get dirty
No matter how much you drink or eat you hardly ever throw up or die from alcohol poisoning.


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## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

For some bizarre reason, there are maps, compasses, and important weapons in the bellies of magical living trees and giant fish... As if someone was actually expecting someone would one day navigate their bellies as dungeons.

You can get fresh milk to keep in a bottle, travel forward in time seven years, and never drink it until days or weeks later, and it's still fresh and restores health.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> For some bizarre reason, there are maps, compasses, and important weapons in the bellies of magical living trees and giant fish... As if someone was actually expecting someone would one day navigate their bellies as dungeons.


Not only that, but there are even doors and buttons.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Jun 29, 2012)

In Maplestory, when you eat an Apple, or Ice Cream pop, it gives you HP.


----------



## Deleted-236924 (Jun 29, 2012)

>People turn off their lights past midnight, windows aren't lit up from outside
>You enter their house, house is fully lit once inside, nobody is sleeping


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Jun 29, 2012)

You can still run and jump just fine at 1HP. When something pokes you, you're dead.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

ZAFDeltaForce said:


> You can still run and jump just fine at 1HP. When something pokes you, you're dead.


As long as you have a mushroom, you can take a bullet (bill) to the face and survive at least one direct hit. But if you don't have a mushroom, a brown, fanged mushroom waddling at about 1 mile per hour can arbitrarily kill you just by bumping into you.


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Jun 29, 2012)

You never take a bath or take a dump for weeks, even months. All because you want to be the very best like no one ever was.


----------



## Deleted-236924 (Jun 29, 2012)

ZAFDeltaForce said:


> You never take a bath or take a dump for weeks, even months. All because you want to be the very best like no one ever was.


But then, the time never passes, so it's the same hour of the same day all the time.
(1st Gen.)


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Jun 29, 2012)

Pingouin7 said:


> ZAFDeltaForce said:
> 
> 
> > You never take a bath or take a dump for weeks, even months. All because you want to be the very best like no one ever was.
> ...


That's true. In that case:

One can get a pokemon, catch em all, defeat all gym leaders, take on the Elite 4, defeat the champion and become the region's absolute best, ALL before nightfall.

Now _that's_ a champion


----------



## Terenigma (Jun 29, 2012)

You can raid peoples houses and rob them senseless yet they will talk politely to you and often offer you useful infomation and items.

A hedgehog can outrun a fox and a fox's have 2 tails and can fly using them, yet prefers to fly a plane instead.

Sometimes letting your enemy kill you and deliver a monolouge is the only way to beat them.

Inns have enough beds for all of your friends, even if there is only 1 bed in your room.

Are you near death? poisoned? confused? bleeding? petrified? Dont worry! All you need is a good nights sleep at a inn.

Animals carry gold and items in their pockets.

Wesker knows a fantastic plastic surgeon.


----------



## supermario5029 (Jun 29, 2012)

:fucklogic:
I hate logic 
Y U NO WORK?!?!


----------



## wrettcaughn (Jun 29, 2012)

In the real world, eating the hearts of your enemies is generally frowned upon by civilized societies...

In the video game world, eating the hearts of your enemies (or even hearts found in random bottles, tall grass, or bushes) replenishes your health...


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

Sometimes you just can't walk through that plant. 

Talking to the same person over and over will always end in the same sentence.


----------



## Deleted-236924 (Jun 29, 2012)

Terenigma said:


> Animals carry gold and items in their pockets.


Animals have pockets.


----------



## Ace Overclocked (Jun 29, 2012)

Pingouin7 said:


> Terenigma said:
> 
> 
> > Animals carry gold and items in their pockets.
> ...


Kangaroos say hi.


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 29, 2012)

ZAFDeltaForce said:


> Pingouin7 said:
> 
> 
> > ZAFDeltaForce said:
> ...



and defeat team rocket all in one day dont forget that one


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 29, 2012)

supermario5029 said:


> :fucklogic:
> I hate logic
> Y U NO WORK?!?!


logic is for volcans lol live long and prospore


----------



## Depravo (Jun 29, 2012)

You always reload with full clips even though you pick up ammo in dribs and drabs.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

snakepliskin12 said:


> and defeat team rocket all in one day dont forget that one


Whenever you infiltrate Team Rocket's hideouts and you beat a member in a Poke`mon battle, they just stand there and let you pass, taunting you about your imminent failure if you talk to them. Because, you know, it wouldn't be FAIR to run and call for backup, or to tackle the 10 year old kid and either throw him out, or lock him up, right?


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 29, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> snakepliskin12 said:
> 
> 
> > and defeat team rocket all in one day dont forget that one
> ...


To be fair, you beat the crap outta their pokemon and you took their lunch money.
What CAN they do? Your pokemon would just kick their asses if they didnt let you pass


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> To be fair, you beat the crap outta their pokemon and you took their lunch money.
> What CAN they do? Your pokemon would just kick their asses if they didnt let you pass


Ok, fine but still... no call for backup, or running back to tell the boss?


----------



## Ace Overclocked (Jun 29, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Black-Ice said:
> 
> 
> > To be fair, you beat the crap outta their pokemon and you took their lunch money.
> ...


happened in a few cases


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 29, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Black-Ice said:
> 
> 
> > To be fair, you beat the crap outta their pokemon and you took their lunch money.
> ...


They do that in G/S/HG/SS in the hideout 
They also do it in the windworks of sinnoh i think


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 29, 2012)

in call of duty modern warfare 1 on the cargo mission they dont see a big black choper hovering above the ship but in real life you would be able to see it and go holy #@$$B


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

aminemaster said:


> happened in a few cases





Black-Ice said:


> They do that in G/S/HG/SS in the hideout
> They also do it in the windworks of sinnoh i think


Ah. Well I never played the games after Red/Blue/Yellow, so I wouldn't know.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 29, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> aminemaster said:
> 
> 
> > happened in a few cases
> ...


O.O
You are not experiencing!
Play HG/SS
Play Emerald
Play B/W


----------



## lokomelo (Jun 29, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> O.O
> You are not experiencing!
> Play HG/SS
> Play Emerald
> Play B/W



None of this games has the truck with mew inside


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

lokomelo said:


> None of this games has the truck with mew inside


hate to break it to you, but that was just a hoax.


----------



## loco365 (Jun 29, 2012)

You can have a sword shoved through you and there won't be a mess.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> xwatchmanx said:
> 
> 
> > aminemaster said:
> ...


Fixed. The ones you posted were shit.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Fixed. The ones you posted were shit.


Nope I posted all the individual ones that were steps forward.
Those were just the more simple older ones


----------



## Lostbhoy (Jun 29, 2012)

You can warp yourself to far away lands by playing musical instruments


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > Fixed. The ones you posted were shit.
> ...


For someone who's only played R/B/Y, he would hate the new ones, as the new one sucks. And B/W were shit anyways.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Black-Ice said:
> 
> 
> > Suprgamr232 said:
> ...


The game was good yesh.
And its attempt on a new spin on the story
But dont get me started on the shitty pokemon.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > Black-Ice said:
> ...


Attempt which failed. Everything after D/P/Pt just plain suck. D/P/Pt are okay, but aren't even close to the previous 3.


----------



## Deleted_171835 (Jun 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Attempt which failed. Everything after D/P/Pt just plain suck. D/P/Pt are okay, but aren't even close to the previous 3.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 29, 2012)

soulx said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > Attempt which failed. Everything after D/P/Pt just plain suck. D/P/Pt are okay, but aren't even close to the previous 3.
> ...


Except it didn't turn out that way. So um...my point still stands?

Anyways, this isn't the place to argue about how shitty Pokemon got after R/S/E


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 29, 2012)

Someone posted that already.

DRAGONITE FTW


----------



## Deleted_171835 (Jun 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Except it didn't turn out that way. So um...my point still stands?
> 
> Anyways, this isn't the place to argue about how shitty Pokemon got after R/S/E


"Everything after D/P/Pt just plain suck."

Pokemon design isn't any better or worse than it was in Gen 1.


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 29, 2012)

lets see we went from logic in video games to pokemon ...... how the hell did that happen ?


----------



## SSVAV (Jun 29, 2012)

snakepliskin12 said:


> lets see we went from logic in video games to pokemon ...... how the hell did that happen ?



Cause Pokémon is an endless source when it comes to flawed logic.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> For someone who's only played R/B/Y, he would hate the new ones, as the new one sucks. And B/W were shit anyways.


Honestly, I can't stand Poke`mon anymore period. I used to be able to grab my copy of blue or yellow, start a new file, and have fun for months. But now, i can't pick up any Poke`mon games without getting bored within the hour, regardless of whether it's G1 or not. Idk, I guess I subconsciously started to dislike Poke'mon after I saw how horrible of an RPG Poke`mon is compared to other JRPGs I've since played, in my opinion (I've become really picky about my RPGs).


----------



## MelodieOctavia (Jun 29, 2012)

This isn't EoF. Keep it on topic.


----------



## Sora de Eclaune (Jun 30, 2012)

YOU ARE THE CHOSEN OF THE GODS, INSERT NAME HERE. SO WAS YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER, FROM WHOM YOUR NAME WAS DERIVED. THIS EXPLAINS WHY YOU LOOK AND SOUND EXACTLY LIKE HIM, HAVE A HORSE THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIS THAT HAS THE SAME NAME AS HIS, HAVE THE EXACT SAME SKILLSET, AND ARE IN LOVE WITH A PRINCESS CHOSEN BY THE GODS WHOSE GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER, FROM WHOM HER NAME WAS DERIVED, WAS ALSO A PRINCESS CHOSEN BY THE GODS AND WAS ALSO LOVED BY YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER. ALSO I'M SORRY YOU'RE AN ORPHAN, BUT THEY WOULD'VE BEEN PROUD.


----------



## Maxternal (Jun 30, 2012)

Back on topic ...
... ahem ...

- People have mentioned the ever so popular do double jump but what about the wall kick, have you ever actually tried that? (don't answer.)
- You go back in time and relive the last 3 days before the world ends but you never stumble across yourself from the last time around.
- Food is only used to fabricate soldiers (modern technology let's you do it with minerals) and then if you stumble across food it will heal your wounds but NEVER because you're hungry. That would be a waste of HP. Just stick it in your bottomless, weightless backpack (it's been on the ground in a long deserted area for who knows how long a few more days in your backpack and it's not going bad.)
- You're the last person on earth after the apocalypse but every time you sit down at a camp fire a saleman with a giant chicken mask comes and wants to sell you stuff for money he can't actually spend anywhere either himself.
- your hair NEVER get's messed up.
- foxes always have either 1, 2 or (mostly) 9 tails.
- You have enough power to blast through a tank but you need an elusive key to open that door.
- That tank will eventually just explode if you hit it enough with that hand gun.
- You're arch enemy lives somewhere that's a linear obstacle course full of booby traps. He never comes out because he's in the part of his house that's FARTHEST away from the front door and would have to get past all the decorative mines, spikes, and hot lava to go shopping. Unfortunately, he also hid just what you're looking for right behind himself.


----------



## triassic911 (Jun 30, 2012)

You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.


----------



## Sora de Eclaune (Jun 30, 2012)

If you find a broken sword, you will always get the chance to fix it and it will always end up being the magical sword you need to save the world.
You are immune to the instant-death something or other because you hold the magical macguffin!
One character throughout the game will always be there to tell you when your wireless controller's battery is low.
If no one in the kingdom is able to defeat a rogue knight, you will be able to defeat him easily.
You come from a small, peaceful village. There are a couple of knights to protect it, but otherwise no one knows how to wield a weapon. You were never taught how to wield a weapon, either. However, the instant you pick one up you'll be able to competently wield it.
Even if you're a skinny, weak kid, you will still be able to wield the giant sword that must weigh at least 150+ pounds.
If you get on the generic fast-travel steed of the game, you will be able to run across the overworld without seeing any random encounters at all, no matter how strong the encounters or how high the encounter rate.
Massive hemorrhaging can be stopped by going back around the corner and putting your weapon away for a few seconds.
Putting on a different costume instantly makes you forget how to cast that Fire spell and instantly teaches you how to do a shield thrust. However, if you put on the costume you had on previously after that, you will forget how to shield thrust and remember how to cast fire.



triassic911 said:


> You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.


Even when the game says you aren't, the character who is supposed to save the world dies and you end up being the sole person that can save the world anyway.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 30, 2012)

triassic911 said:


> You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.


And it doesn't matter how many times your teammates fall in battle, they'll be fine as soon as the battle is over and/or you get to an inn or hospital. But if you fall, it doesn't matter if you have five level 50 teammates with full health against 1 enemy, who could easily win without you and take you to an inn, it's game over. 


Sora de Eclaune said:


> Even when the game says you aren't, the character who is supposed to save the world dies and you end up being the sole person that can save the world anyway.


In other words, we can streamline it to say "Even when you're NOT the chosen one, you're the chosen one."


----------



## Sora de Eclaune (Jun 30, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Sora de Eclaune said:
> 
> 
> > Even when the game says you aren't, the character who is supposed to save the world dies and you end up being the sole person that can save the world anyway.
> ...


That's not what I'm saying.

I'm trying to say...um.... "When you're not the chosen one, you end up doing the chosen one's duty anyway."

Something like that. Kind of like on Chrono Trigger when YOU end up being the one to do everything the Chosen One is supposed to be doing 



Spoiler



until you recruit him


 just because he believes he's a sack of crap who doesn't deserve to do any of it.


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Jun 30, 2012)

No idea if this has been posted here, but...


----------



## Pleng (Jun 30, 2012)

Worms have an awesome arsenal of weaponry


----------



## Sora de Eclaune (Jun 30, 2012)

I have to go into a flooded building and be underwater for extended periods of time! However, I cannot breathe water with my flimsy lungs. Fortunately, I can put on blue clothes, which blue means water so it will totally work out.


----------



## jose_exe (Jun 30, 2012)

Carries around rocket launcher

Can't destroy wooden doors

Edit:

Just rembered a part of the first DQ joker where you have to lower a bridge... for a puddle of water!


----------



## Sicklyboy (Jun 30, 2012)

Monsters have no idea where you go when you hide in a room with no exits.  (Amnesia)


----------



## Ace Overclocked (Jun 30, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> triassic911 said:
> 
> 
> > You are the only one who can save the world. ONLY you. Not your friend, not your neighbor, not some dude on the other side of the world, ONLY YOU.
> ...


That's one of the reasons i like xenoblade's system, as long as your teammates can revive you they can keep fighting.


----------



## Icealote (Jun 30, 2012)

Music will usually play when you enter different areas and when it starts to sound ominous, shit gets serious.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jun 30, 2012)

- at one point in time - roughly when you're twelve - someone from the same small town village you both grew up in (inhabitants: less than 10) will ask for your name. (s)he will then say something like "Oh..._Skumsuckr!_ is such a nice name.  ".
- the clothes you wear can influence the amount of money or magical items monsters drop when you kill them...if said clothes are magical.
- Mario is an athlete who plays just about every sports at a professional level and has romantic affairs with Daisy, Pauline and Peach (which is A PRINCESS!!!). And despite the fact that he never does anything remotely resembling plumbing...he doesn't change profession.
-you know a character is from Japan if he's dressed for carnival and his hair looks like it's dragged through a large bowl of icecream. He certainly DOESN'T have a yellow/golden-ish skin, a particular accent or crack eyes.
-if you lower the price enough, people WILL get on the rollercoaster. Even if they just saw the previous wagon crash and burn in plain sight.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 30, 2012)

Wever said:


> despite the fact that he never does anything remotely resembling plumbing...he doesn't change profession.





Spoiler










Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga says, "hi."


----------



## emigre (Jun 30, 2012)

You guilty until someone else is proven guilty.


----------



## wrettcaughn (Jun 30, 2012)

This should count...

Buy a console with the sole purpose of pirating games for it, then complain about every new anti-piracy method or about the lack of backwards compatibility on the next generation console.

Though, I guess it's more "shitty gamer logic" than "video game logic"...


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 30, 2012)

Old8oy said:


> This should count...
> 
> Buy a console with the sole purpose of pirating games for it, then complain about every new anti-piracy method or about the lack of backwards compatibility on the next generation console.
> 
> Though, I guess it's more "shitty gamer logic" than "video game logic"...


Yeah, it's more of "gamer logic" than "video game logic." But I agree, nonetheless.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jun 30, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Worms have an awesome arsenal of weaponry


I shall now set about playing Worms World Party.


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jun 30, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Old8oy said:
> 
> 
> > This should count...
> ...


omg this is so true i mean no one is ever happy with every console they come out with ppl pardon my french bitch and complain about every little thing ): i for one am tired of it


----------



## Catastrophic (Jun 30, 2012)

Enemies do not die or even bleed despite being hit with a sword like 20 times. Instead, random numbers appear over their heads.


----------



## Deleted-236924 (Jun 30, 2012)

If your defence rating is high enough, you will not take damage even when stabbed in the chest by a sword half as large as you are.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 30, 2012)

I can stand up, shrug off any injury and fight at 100% until I hit 0 health points


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 30, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> I can stand up, shrug off any injury and fight at 100% until I hit 0 health points


Unless it's Super Smash Bros., in which case the higher your hit points, the more likely you are to go flying. Even though this apparently has no bearing on how weak or powerful your attacks are.


----------



## MelodieOctavia (Jun 30, 2012)

Shooting a Boss in the face doesn't kill him, even if he's a normal human with no superpowers or anything. Simply because he's a "Boss"


----------



## Black-Ice (Jun 30, 2012)

TwinRetro said:


> Shooting a Boss in the face doesn't kill him, even if he's a normal human with no superpowers or anything. Simply because he's a "Boss"


also, you NEVER have more health points then a boss.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 30, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> also, you NEVER have more health points then a boss.


And if a boss has a change of heart and decides to join your team as a playable character, then they all of a sudden have maybe a third of the health and power they had when you fought them (if you're lucky).


----------



## Taleweaver (Jun 30, 2012)

-you perform a 360 kickflip nook ollie + tailgrab + 720 indy into wall grab, grind a bar, then double kickflip onto another bar (CLOSING THE GAP!) on another side of the lava, then arch upward in a nosedive supermove grab...then hit the wall, fall down in a sound that indicates 3 broken ribs and you smeer the wall with blood. The whole trick is worth ZERO POINTS because of the failed landing, the crowd boos at you...and you simply get back on your skateboard for more. 
-it doesn't matter if you're shred to pieces, blown up, have bones shattered, burnt, get your arms ripped off or get thrown in an acid pit...all it takes is one "continue" to restart the fight.
-sometimes you just try combining anything in your inventory with anything else or go checking every freakin' inch of the room because you're too damn retarded to actually GET CREATIVE with what you get (yeeey, point-'n click game references  ).
-the US Army NEVER has civilian casualties.
-only the minority of houses has the full set of living room, bathroom, kitchen and dining room. Heck...in quite some cases, NPC's don't even have a toilet!


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 30, 2012)

Wever said:


> -only the minority of houses has the full set of living room, bathroom, kitchen and dining room. Heck...in quite some cases, NPC's don't even have a toilet!


You can sit down on a toilet, do your business without making any noise except for the flush at the end, and all without even removing your pants (Zelda: Skyward Sword)


----------



## adamshinoda (Jun 30, 2012)

- You can enter any house you like, open their chest, wardrobe, turn on the tv.... without anyone's permission.
- You disappear after you die.
- On the battlefield, the enemy will wait until you've done chosen your weapons.


----------



## Icealote (Jul 1, 2012)

Those invisible walls that stops most games from becoming a sandbox game


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 1, 2012)

Icealote said:


> Those invisible walls that stops most games from becoming a sandbox game


*Cough*Super Mario 64*cough*Metroid: Other M*cough*


----------



## triassic911 (Jul 1, 2012)

TwinRetro said:


> Shooting a Boss in the face doesn't kill him, even if he's a normal human with no superpowers or anything. Simply because he's a "Boss"


LIKE A BOSS


----------



## Foxi4 (Jul 1, 2012)

Rule no.1 of Japanese horror games:







These things are out to get you. They may look harmless, but they're not. They're the essence of the devil encased in a porcelain shell. Destroy upon contact.


----------



## jarejare3 (Jul 1, 2012)

This thread kinda reminds of crysis, Where you can use stealth mode to drive a jeep into the enemy Headquarters and the dozens of guards there see this jeep with no driver but acts like it's the most normal thing in the world.

They even open the gate for you.


----------



## Pleng (Jul 1, 2012)

When in a conversation with somebody, there is generally only ever 2 or 3 possible answers to anything anybody says to you.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 1, 2012)

Pleng said:


> When in a conversation with somebody, there is generally only ever 2 or 3 possible answers to anything anybody says to you.


And about half those times, there's only one "right" answer, and choosing any others just leads to a brief loop where the character asks you the same thing over and over again until you give the "right" answer.


----------



## Pleng (Jul 1, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > When in a conversation with somebody, there is generally only ever 2 or 3 possible answers to anything anybody says to you.
> ...



That's not exclusive to video games. I get in similar situations with my girlfriend all the time...


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 1, 2012)

Pleng said:


> That's not exclusive to video games. I get in similar situations with my girlfriend all the time...


Psh. Girlfriend logic, video game logic... what's the difference?


----------



## triassic911 (Jul 1, 2012)

At the beginning of Pokemon Emerald, when Professor Birch asks you to see his daughter May at route 203, If you say no when asks you "It's a good idea, wouldn't you say?, or something along those lines, he will keep asking you until you say yes. You can keep saying no and it will be an infinite loop. You HAVE to choose yes in order to progress.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 1, 2012)

-nobody (including your parents) will try to talk you out of fighting the greatest evil that ever was.
-there's no "just kill him" about it either. Doors will be locked, pathways will become blocked, you will have to take a detour...all in all, it's ALWAYS more work than it looks at first glance.
-companies that thrive on making money (in other words: capitalism) are EVIL. So are countries that try to spread the wealth (in other words: communism).
-if you help people, they will thank you and even give you a reward
-all spaceships will be equipped with fluorescent lasers that'll even emit sound in space. Yes, they'll even use those weapons when on a stealth mission.


----------



## Icealote (Jul 1, 2012)

Having multiple lives, save points, continues... Even when you get hurt, you flicker for seconds becoming invincible to get out of danger or abuse the bug by attacking the shit of whatever was killing you.


----------



## Narayan (Jul 1, 2012)

the professor will always know whenever you try to fish in dry land or ride a bike while walking on very tall grass. 
why does my lapras need to learn surf when she already lets people ride on her back across water? 
can't i walk diagonally? 
there will most likely be a better weapon every time you beat someone/arrive the next town/after you level up a few times.
you look familiar, have i killed you before?

the door you came from is locked, no one in sight, no other exit. shit just got real.
i can heal and save here? enemy might be next door.


----------



## dicamarques (Jul 1, 2012)

- 4 blocks of water makes infinite water for everyone
- floating islands of stone and dirt in the middle of the sky
- animal crossing (do i need to tell more )


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 1, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > That's not exclusive to video games. I get in similar situations with my girlfriend all the time...
> ...


Hmm...well you play with both...and you can easily turn them off...they come in a bunch of different sizes...sometimes you can play them with your friends...it's if you win or lose, it's how you play....  WOMEN ARE VIDEO GAMES!


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 1, 2012)

-baddies ALWAYS underestimate you. Even if you kill their helpers (which is 4 times your size).
-doors close automatically behind you
-you pick locks and hack computers without using your hands
-it's perfectly possible that killing a swarm of insects drops an lance of about 2 meters (Diablo sure is fun in that aspect   ).
-how do Goomba's even know you're coming? Sure, they walk toward you...but_ they look 90 degrees in the wrong direction!_


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 1, 2012)

Wever said:


> -you pick locks and hack computers without using your hands


You also always know the code for opening doors in enemy bases.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jul 1, 2012)

Locking your door is for noobs
why not let any guy with big pokemon or a group of 6 with swords into my home


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Jul 2, 2012)

- I can kill ghosts by taking pictures of them
- I can get really good at smithing, to the point of smithing daedric grade armor, so long as I keep honing my craft by making iron daggers
- It is perfectly alright to peruse a strangers personal belongings, even in front of a guard, so long as you don't take anything


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 2, 2012)

Wever said:


> -it's perfectly possible that killing a swarm of insects drops an lance of about 2 meters (Diablo sure is fun in that aspect   ).


It's perfectly normal to kill a swarm of insects with a sword for that matter.


Wever said:


> -how do Goomba's even know you're coming? Sure, they walk toward you...but_ they look 90 degrees in the wrong direction!_


It's not like they change directions and chase you. I don't think they know you're there, but now that you mention it, how do they differentiate between you and another goomba. Why don't they kill each other, too, just by bumping into each other.

- Wait, I get it, the only reason Mario really dies is because he puts up his hands and makes a "oh, noes" face and jumps off of his 2D world into the third dimension thus appearing to fall off the screen through the ground. It's suicide. Goombas couldn't kill anything by themselves if they wanted to.


----------



## weavile001 (Jul 2, 2012)

-killing a swarm of bees in a field with your hands is pretty normal
-you can kick a football and make it crumble the world , and it wont burst
-DEMONS are invading the world? the world is falling apart? everyone is going to die in a matter of hours? lets talk about feelings....
-remember that boy that gets bullied everyday? he may save the world anytime
-some knives are more powerfull than some kinds of guns


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 2, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> -killing a swarm of bees in a field with your hands is pretty normal


You're more likely to get killed by a swarm of bees (that arbitrarily attack you, and are somehow big enough to be sliced with a sword, despite being the size of typical bees) than you are by a huge, lightning-fast venus flytrap twice your size. (Majora's Mask)


----------



## finkmac (Jul 2, 2012)

Hitting/shooting a body will cause it to explode, sending innards flying everywhere, and disappearing immediately after.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 3, 2012)

-there is NEVER a false start in whatever kind of race ever
-the weather is never "average" or "grey". You always have the best views of the most beautiful sunsets and -rises EVAR!
-you can change your clothes instantly and without anyone noticing it (okay, GTA is an exception here).
-you get points for everything. Not that you'll ever DO anything with it, but still: YOU GET POINTS FOR EVERYTHING!!!
-a plastic toy with five buttons is perfectly fine to emulate a six string guitar.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 11, 2012)

Got one. 

-Beat a trainers Pokemon once, THEY'RE DEAD FOREVER AND THE TRAINER WILL NEVER MOVE FROM THAT SPOT NOR WILL HE/SHE ACQUIRE NEW POKEMON.


----------



## Gahars (Jul 11, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Got one.
> 
> -Beat a trainers Pokemon once, THEY'RE DEAD FOREVER AND THE TRAINER WILL NEVER MOVE FROM THAT SPOT NOR WILL HE/SHE ACQUIRE NEW POKEMON.



And now Bartleby the Scrivener makes perfect sense!

Anyone? Anyone?


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 11, 2012)

Gahars said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > Got one.
> ...


Ah Bartleby! Ah humanity!


----------



## loco365 (Jul 11, 2012)

Got one.

You start your adventure as a Pokemon Trainer, and you end up miraculously stopping a cataclysmic event singlehandedly during that adventure.


----------



## weavile001 (Jul 11, 2012)

you could say that this person is a badass


----------



## Kereth Midknight (Jul 11, 2012)

Some of these are pretty old school, but. . .

-Doors and windows exist for the sole purpose of keeping the walls from disappearing when the architects complete an entire row.
-All diseases can be cured by the proper alignment of appropriately colored pills.
-Mushrooms, flowers, feathers, and certain leaves can all function as ablative armor.
-Using a pushup bra, and in fact, going without a bra at all, is not only acceptible athletic attire for females, the extra lift probably helps them jump higher.
-If a character will be important later in, they are invincible.  Similarly, if they're can be killed, you can be fairly confident that they're not important later. (Note: It turns out this is a bad test in real life for long term relationship potential)
-Everything important in life, from the billing center at the local daycare to the gestation period of unhatched eggs, will use your personal pedometer in lieu of an actual clock to measure time.
-If science ever invents a tool that lets you climb walls or remotely grapple surfaces or stick portals to them or pass through solid bariers or any other such miracle of mobility, that tool will only work on a limited number of surfaces, and those surfaces will only be found in places you were always meant to go anyway.
-Enemies too powerful for you to defeat only exist to keep you from wandering into the wrong parts of the world too early and spoiling the plot.  You'll go there later.
-Blue doors are "glass doors" and you open them by shooting them with a gun.  That doesn't stop them from closing behind you.
-If you stick your head into your backpack, look up, up, down down, left, left, right, right, move your arms, jump, then move your arms, then jump again, then pull your head back out of your backpack, you become unstoppable.


----------



## weavile001 (Jul 11, 2012)

the laws of gravity only applies to mario galaxy


----------



## Black-Ice (Jul 11, 2012)

Walking diagonal?
For noobs.
Left, Right, up, down ftw


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 11, 2012)

Even an environment supposedly designed to be navigated by ordinary humans without special tools and weapons (such as a research station) will require missiles, bombs, rolling up into a tiny ball, grappling beams, heat-resistant suits, water mobile-suits, eternal jump tools, and spinning attack weapons just to get from one room to the next (Metroid Fusion).

It's perfectly normal for modern human cities to have loop-de-loops on highways, and for gold rings to be scattered everywhere that nobody bothers stealing before you get to them (Sonic games)


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 11, 2012)

-spaceships tend to carry an unlimited amount of lasers...but only a handful of bombs.
-it's perfectly normal that some doors only open after you kill a certain badass enemy
-more often than not, your main means of transportation is in a vehicle where the cockpit is smaller than you are
-real men hide in cover until the red clears out of their eyes!
-if you go around not carefully aiming each shot, you're blamed for "spamming". On the other hand, it's perfectly normal for a boss to blindly destroy his entire bureau, throne room or wherever it is you're fighting him.


----------



## shadow theory (Jul 11, 2012)

(I have to admit I haven't read every single one, so sorry for any reposts)

It is perfectly okay to enter people's house and rifle through their things. Hey, there may be treasure in there!
Fireballs hurt, but don't burn through clothes.
All inns cost progressively more the farther you get from home.
Some maps draw themselves when you find things! (Complete with artistic renderings of mountain ranges and lakes!)
In most games even a novice can reload a gun in seconds.
Knuckles can glide! Because well....because!
Enemies when killed will drop awesome new weapons! I don't know why this bat has a glowing sword, but I'll take it!


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 11, 2012)

shadow theory said:


> (I have to admit I haven't read every single one, so sorry for any reposts)
> Some maps draw themselves when you find things! (Complete with artistic renderings of mountain ranges and lakes!)


Arguably you could say the maps are drawn by the character in the game.


----------



## weavile001 (Jul 11, 2012)

you can destroy a car just with your own fist ( not street fighter ) in 1 minute


----------



## shadow theory (Jul 11, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Arguably you could say the maps are drawn by the character in the game.




Yeah, but some games include maps that come together as if drawn by a professional cartographer. If it was just lines with estimates, that'd be one thing, but some games definitely do have maps that make sense in that way you say (Silent Hill comes to mind since he scrawls on maps that he finds already completed).

Perhaps "Some characters are secretly professional cartographers! They can map anything no matter the complexity as soon as they come across it!" would be more accurate.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 11, 2012)

Floor ice cream (and hamburgers, and fruit, and turkey legs) gives you health (as opposed to eventually making you sick with whatever diseases have collected on said floor).


----------



## Veho (Jul 20, 2012)

FPS logic:


----------



## GameSoul (Jul 20, 2012)

Able to spend millions of dollars in equipment to kill one person (Any Call of Duty game)


----------



## weavile001 (Jul 20, 2012)

able to drive a car , handle a gun or any other thing with a brick hand


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Jul 20, 2012)

hum... soldiers have encahnced dna and when you make a sound or get spoted by one guard dozens suddenly appear out of thin air with full body armor and riot shields  (metal gear solid 1-2) ! (:


----------



## Tsuteto (Jul 21, 2012)

Some I just thought of:

*Rocket Launcher?  Zombie three feet away? No problem!  Fire away and turn your head, you'll be just fine!  (Resident Evil 4)
*Punch anything you want.  Your first will never bleed, nor will you lose health!  You might get a little hungry though... (Minecraft)
*Dance your heart out!  By making sure your foot is on the ground every 16th note at 180 BPM (Dance Dance Revolution/In The Groove)
*"Hey buddy, wait up for me as you're climbing this cliff, oka-AUUUUGGGHHHH!"  (Contra)


----------



## 4-leaf-clover (Jul 21, 2012)

When you crippled your enemy's arms he can still shoot/swing his Fire Arm/Melee weapon (Fallout)
Riot Shields are made out of the same material of Captain america's Shield (Call of duty)
Defibrillators can bring you back to life after getting shot in the head, Fell off a cliff, A jet crash ETC. (Battlefield)
Kids are invinicible/god (Fallout & Skyrim)


----------



## reshx (Jul 22, 2012)

all jet skis have a radio
an nut costs the same as a hot dog.
you can ride across a continent with a bird and cant mantle over a little tree


----------



## Pleng (Jul 22, 2012)

4-leaf-clover said:


> When you crippled your enemy's arms he can still shoot/swing his Fire Arm/Melee weapon (Fallout)
> Riot Shields are made out of the same material of Captain america's Shield (Call of duty)
> Defibrillators can bring you back to life after getting shot in the head, Fell off a cliff, A jet crash ETC. (Battlefield)
> Kids are invinicible/god (Fallout & Skyrim)





Tsuteto said:


> Some I just thought of:
> 
> *Rocket Launcher?  Zombie three feet away? No problem!  Fire away and turn your head, you'll be just fine!  (Resident Evil 4)
> *Punch anything you want.  Your first will never bleed, nor will you lose health!  You might get a little hungry though... (Minecraft)
> ...





snakepliskin12 said:


> hum... soldiers have encahnced dna and when you make a sound or get spoted by one guard dozens suddenly appear out of thin air with full body armor and riot shields  (metal gear solid 1-2) ! (:




Why have we started quoting the games in question? Surely the little fun that this thread provides is trying to work out what games people might be referring to?


----------



## Joe88 (Jul 22, 2012)

when ever you mount a stationary machine gun, a large group of enemies just happens to show up


----------



## reshx (Jul 22, 2012)

Joe88 said:


> when ever you mount a stationary machine gun, a large group of enemies just happens to show up


when you reach a certain point , even with no one knowing where you are , enemies show up.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 22, 2012)

-even dressed, armed and looking like the enemy, they will always recognize you as the enemy the moment they see you (even though their base or field camp usually contains a few hundred soldiers)
-fire from a hidden location in the night with a soundproofed sniper rifle...if you miss, one single shout or grunt of the nearby guard is enough to alert everyone in the base about your exact location
-nobody ever tries to capture you alive
-enemies may drop weapons that help you against them, but after beating a few of them or being hit so you'll drop it, it vanishes (2D beat 'em ups)
-you always know EXACTLY how much bullets you have


----------



## Pleng (Jul 22, 2012)

Once you've finished your opponent off, you're more likely to get a cheer from any onlookers if you turn them into a baby,or offer them a gift, than you are if you kill them


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 22, 2012)

Swords, bombs, and arrows are ok in Zelda, but old-fashioned guns would be "too violent" (Zelda fanboy logic)


----------



## Mr. Prince (Jul 22, 2012)

-Rings can give you special powers, like increased crittical damage, being partly invisible, changes your roll animation to a ninja flip, raise your HP and/or stamina...etc
-Backstabs do more damage then being cut/slashed.
-Bonfires mysteriously re-spawn all enemies and restore your HP and magic uses.
-You don't become weaker if you have a small amount of HP.
-You defeat the champion of your region but don't take his place as champion so you can roam the world.


----------



## Guild McCommunist (Jul 22, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Swords, bombs, and arrows are ok in Zelda, but old-fashioned guns would be "too violent" (Zelda fanboy logic)



They have guns in Zelda, it's called "Fable".


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 23, 2012)

Guild McCommunist said:


> They have guns in Zelda, it's called "Fable".


I've never played Fable, so I wouldn't know.


----------



## 4-leaf-clover (Jul 23, 2012)

Every piece of clothing or armor that you find fits you perfectly.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 23, 2012)

-It's perfectly normal for a woman to sing songs with a male voice and vice versa. (seriously...You'd think they would notice and fix that after one guitar hero/rock band game?)
-you cannot hit people to the left and to the right of you, and neither can they (2D beat 'em ups)
-princesses do nothing but get kidnapped
-grass and shrubberies instantly regrow when you're not looking
-dying often means you explode or fall through the floor (platformers).


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 23, 2012)

Fly straight towards the enemy flagship. If you can dodge the enemies sent to stop you, don't worry. They won't turn around and come back to try again. If you're REALLY unlucky one or two might pop up behind you but mostly you just have to keep your eyes ahead. An enemy will NEVER come from at you from the side.

Bowser has a magic trap he sets for Mario but just in some places. It makes it IMPOSSIBLE for you to move along faster than a set rate. If the back of the screen catches up to you, it will push you. If the platform you're standing on goes below the bottom of the screen, you will die. You're enemies are all somehow immune to this, however. They enter and exit the screen at will.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 23, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> Fly straight towards the enemy flagship. If you can dodge the enemies sent to stop you, don't worry. They won't turn around and come back to try again. If you're REALLY unlucky one or two might pop up behind you but mostly you just have to keep your eyes ahead. An enemy will NEVER come from at you from the side.


In their defense, the enemies you continue fighting in front of you MAY be ones that survived and circled around again


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 23, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Maxternal said:
> 
> 
> > Fly straight towards the enemy flagship. If you can dodge the enemies sent to stop you, don't worry. They won't turn around and come back to try again. If you're REALLY unlucky one or two might pop up behind you but mostly you just have to keep your eyes ahead. An enemy will NEVER come from at you from the side.
> ...


But they even come back if you kill them all 
They're ZOMBIE PLANES  !


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 23, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> But they even come back if you kill them all
> They're ZOMBIE PLANES  !


Well in that case, they could be genuinely new fighters being called in #DualLogic


----------



## chavosaur (Jul 24, 2012)

Every thing in the world is in a perfectly cubed shape.
You can break rocks with your fist
Your entire home can be destroyed by this


----------



## ThatDudeWithTheFood (Jul 24, 2012)

YOUR HAIR CAN GROW WHEN YOU GET A HAIR CUT!
Oh my god that's pissed me off for the longest.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 24, 2012)

Your parents will name you the strangest names and not a single person would comment upon it. For example, "This is my grandson! Blah blah rival blah blah! Err...what was his name again? AH YES! NOW I REMEMBER! HIS NAME IS PENIS!"


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 24, 2012)

ThatDudeWithTheFood said:


> YOUR HAIR CAN GROW WHEN YOU GET A HAIR CUT!
> Oh my god that's pissed me off for the longest.





Spoiler


----------



## Deleted-236924 (Jul 24, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> ThatDudeWithTheFood said:
> 
> 
> > YOUR HAIR CAN GROW WHEN YOU GET A HAIR CUT!
> ...



- Sup, Bald guy?
- I want an afro
- Sure, here you go
- *Distinct clipper buzzing sound*
- There you go, hair extensions, you now have an afro.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 24, 2012)

I think the proper question would be: how the hell do barbers manage to stay in business?

Hair doesn't grow, nobody ever needs a shaving, your hair remains exactly the same style when skydiving, swimming through the sewers, getting nearly blown up five times and after going to a fire. Heck...even after spending a night with a hot babe* your hair is still in perfect shape. 


Sure...it would explain why there is never a line (that, and the fact that it only takes seconds to finish), but still...such a for-all-eternity-haircut costs less than the price of a hamburger. Yes, even überfancy off-the-wall wacky cuts with all sorts of coloring.



Come to think of it: if a real barber could pull all that shit off, I think you'd see people go for the wackiest haircuts instead of the sober "NPC-look" they usually have. 




*aka: practically any woman who isn't the "sweet old granny" type.


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 24, 2012)

Wever said:


> I think the proper question would be: how the hell do barbers manage to stay in business?


When you don't have to eat to stay alive and you don't have to sleep (don't need a house) the cost of day to day life isn't that bad.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 24, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> Wever said:
> 
> 
> > I think the proper question would be: how the hell do barbers manage to stay in business?
> ...


Hmm...I can't beat THAT kind of gamer logic.


(in fact, I could add that they probably wouldn't need much energy if all they do is stand in the same spot all day and all night long).


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 24, 2012)

This is the part where the thread takes a change in tone and starts putting all the previous posts together to explain "why video game logic really DOES make sense"


----------



## reshx (Jul 24, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> This is the part where the thread takes a change in tone and starts putting all the previous posts together to explain "why video game logic really DOES make sense"


bacause it makes the game funnier and these super realistic games ain´t good.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 24, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> This is the part where the thread takes a change in tone and starts putting all the previous posts together to explain "why video game logic really DOES make sense"


Ok, I'll start then... It actually makes sense that there're gold rings EVERYWHERE in the Sonic games. After all, this is a world where barely getting BRUSHED by something instantly kills you, unless you have at least one ring, which protects you. So it would make sense that a benevolent government would scatter these rings EVERYWHERE in public places so people would have access to them in an emergency.


----------



## reshx (Jul 24, 2012)

no one is poor in sonic world


----------



## 1234turtles (Jul 24, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Maxternal said:
> 
> 
> > This is the part where the thread takes a change in tone and starts putting all the previous posts together to explain "why video game logic really DOES make sense"
> ...


The fact that sonic is greedy as fk, you only need one ring but no he gets 100 for that extra life.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jul 25, 2012)

1234turtles said:


> The fact that sonic is greedy as fk, you only need one ring but no he gets 100 for that extra life.


I can't say I really blame him, since when a mad scientist takes over the world, he's the only one on a planet full of TONS of people willing to risk his life to stop him.


----------



## reshx (Jul 25, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> 1234turtles said:
> 
> 
> > The fact that sonic is greedy as fk, you only need one ring but no he gets 100 for that extra life.
> ...


the population themselves could make a mob and take over eggman


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 25, 2012)

Oh, there's another one ... Robotnic legally changed his name to Eggman because it was more ... er ... fitting.


----------



## reshx (Jul 25, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> Oh, there's another one ... Robotnic legally changed his name to Eggman because it was more ... er ... fitting.


that would be very acceptable to fans , if he didnt had a grandson


----------



## ComeTurismO (Jul 25, 2012)

Everyone in the game talks, except Mario. Only says random Italian to people like Luigi, in Mario and Luigi _______ (GBA, DS)


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 25, 2012)

xAC3L3G3NDx said:


> Everyone in the game talks, except Mario. Only says random Italian to people like Luigi, in Mario and Luigi _______ (GBA, DS)


There are more. Link is a mute, as well as Kirby, Tim (from Braid) and that character from cave story. And that's just from the top of my head.

-your princess girlfriend being abducted by a giant turtledragon pretty much every year doesn't cause you to lose your jolly good mood.
-when going to a concert, it's all about being as identical as the person next to you (at least rock band tries to blur this a bit)
-portal guns are meant for science, not for breaking in a bank
-you open doors telepathically (except in horror games...there you'll do it in slow motion)
-cars don't break or malfunction until they're either upside down or driven into the water...in which case you better run because they'll explode.


----------



## GameSoul (Jul 25, 2012)

Wever said:


> xAC3L3G3NDx said:
> 
> 
> > Everyone in the game talks, except Mario. Only says random Italian to people like Luigi, in Mario and Luigi _______ (GBA, DS)
> ...



Speaking about mutes. The protagonist in those Pokemon games is a champ. I think everyone understands him through sign language or something. A silent tyrant who doesn't know the meaning of a loss.


----------



## loco365 (Jul 25, 2012)

Pokemon: Your bike can turn on a dime regardless how fast you're going.


----------



## Black-Ice (Jul 25, 2012)

Team Fail said:


> Pokemon: Your bike can turn on a dime regardless how fast you're going.


You can also fold it up instantly and place it in your small little bag.
But if you try and take it out when you cant...
The professor of that region becomes god temporarily and tells you no out of nowhere


----------



## Scott-105 (Jul 25, 2012)

Kill a person. Get seen. Kill all witnesses, and no one ever bothers to figure out who killed all those people.



Spoiler



From Skyrim, and other TES games.


----------



## Guild McCommunist (Jul 25, 2012)

Crouching silences your footsteps but walking slowly doesn't.

EDIT: Except for MGS but even then they had crouchwalking in like Peace Walker and MGS3D.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Jul 31, 2012)

Takes a millisecond for the main character to explain the situation.
When your objective is to save someone, they go in your bag.
Your character's bag is somehow still small by holding anything


----------



## Pleng (Jul 31, 2012)

If you attach a raccoon tail to your butt, and run for long enough before taking a big old jump, you can fly.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 31, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> Team Fail said:
> 
> 
> > Pokemon: Your bike can turn on a dime regardless how fast you're going.
> ...


I'm pretty sure I said something about this earlier in this thread, but that's supposed to be main character just remembering something Oak said.


----------



## Maxternal (Aug 1, 2012)

plz merge "video game=real life" thread. 
http://gbatemp.net/topic/331750-video-game-should-be-same-thing-in-real-life/


----------



## Vulpes Abnocto (Aug 1, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> plz merge "video game=real life" thread.
> http://gbatemp.net/topic/331750-video-game-should-be-same-thing-in-real-life/







*Loathes*


----------



## ComeTurismO (Aug 9, 2012)

If Mario touches a Koopa or a Goomba his mode shrinks/or he dies


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 12, 2012)

After saving the world, you can go back in time and do it ALL over again while fully powered up and felling the previously-hard baddies in one swing. And why do you willingly put the world in jeopardy a second time? Because it's fun to save it, that's why!

(Chrono Trigger)


----------



## chavosaur (Aug 12, 2012)

Your entire kingdom is ruled by a mouse who dissapears alot.
Your somehow living even though your heartless
Nobody wonders why the hell your the only people running around in dark black robes
(Kingdom Hearts 358 1/2 days)


----------



## Black-Ice (Aug 12, 2012)

Evil Ghosts can be defeated in a court trial.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 12, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> Evil Ghosts can be defeated in a court trial.


with the power of law.


----------



## Black-Ice (Aug 12, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> Black-Ice said:
> 
> 
> > Evil Ghosts can be defeated in a court trial.
> ...


Screw the ghostbusters.
I have my OBJECTION!!


----------



## Taleweaver (Aug 13, 2012)

-in sword fighting, you win the fight by replying to their insults with the proper witty remark
-people continue talking even when you turn their back on them and leave the room
-when going somewhere for the first time, it's perfectly normal that someone reminds you to do common things like crouching and jumping
-some cities (like Burnout Paradise) simply have no pedestrians.
-taking an arrow to the knee means you'll be a common guard in the future


----------



## ComeTurismO (Aug 14, 2012)

You can burn ANYTHING in Minecraft.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 14, 2012)

xAC3L3G3NDx said:


> You can burn ANYTHING in Minecraft.


even water?


----------



## boktor666 (Aug 15, 2012)

-Dies in heavy battle, bullet holes everywhere in body.. RESPAWNS
-Being AD carry in MOBA games requires you to buy items to boost your AD. However, 80% of these are SWORDS. And the best AD carry's are RANGED. How can you shoot with a sword?
-Every character can talk, except you, who can only scream KYAAH, KAAH, HAAUGH, and be understood by everyone.
-12 year old kids traveling the land, with dangerous animals captured in a ball with a 15 cm diameter
-You can easily kill 200 people in shooters and not die. It's like you're the fucking terminator.
-Lose health, eat chicken to regain health
-The good guys always (almost always) win
-Can take on a dragon, no sweat.
-Kill a guy, get suspicious. Enemy walks up to corpse, starts to walk away, nothing's wrong. (Splinter cell)
-Destroy everone, everything to avenge your family (the punisher)
-somehow, you're always the chosen one.
-Can't walk off ledge
-Be chased for crime, sit on bench. Lose guards.

Do I even have to go on?


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 15, 2012)

boktor666 said:


> -You can easily kill 200 people in shooters and not die. It's like you're the fucking terminator.


And even the terminator can't instantly heal his flesh wounds by hiding behind a rock for a few seconds.


----------



## boktor666 (Aug 15, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> boktor666 said:
> 
> 
> > -You can easily kill 200 people in shooters and not die. It's like you're the fucking terminator.
> ...


well played sir
*flesh :>


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 15, 2012)

boktor666 said:


> well played sir
> *flesh :>


Grr... stupid touch screen keyboard


----------



## Luigi2012SM64DS (Aug 15, 2012)

You can jump twice.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 15, 2012)

Luigi2012SM64DS said:


> You can jump twice.


Sometimes 3 times (Super Smash Bros.)

Also, jumping 3 times in succession is required in order to do a front flip (Super Mario 64)


----------



## ouch123 (Aug 16, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Luigi2012SM64DS said:
> 
> 
> > You can jump twice.
> ...


To be fair, you don't do all the jumps in mid-air. Also, didn't the jump animation change when you collected all the stars?


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 16, 2012)

ouch123 said:


> To be fair, you don't do all the jumps in mid-air. Also, didn't the jump animation change when you collected all the stars?


I never got all the stars, so I wouldn't know. I actually didn't even hear about that until very recently.


----------



## ouch123 (Aug 16, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> ouch123 said:
> 
> 
> > To be fair, you don't do all the jumps in mid-air. Also, didn't the jump animation change when you collected all the stars?
> ...


Ah, found a video (go to 3:12 if you want to see the jump). It just becomes more sparkly and you bounce at the end. I vaguely recall it's a bit higher but it's been a while so I may be wrong. I think I played this game too much as a kid.


----------



## Maxternal (Aug 16, 2012)

ouch123 said:


> xwatchmanx said:
> 
> 
> > ouch123 said:
> ...


Yeah, once you get all the stars you get the sparkly jump and you can talk to Yoshi to get 100 lives. The thing is that you need the 100 lives in order to ... umm ... get coin high scores in all the levels ... or a better speed time in the slippery slide. There's nothing left to play so I can imagine that even for those of us who have actually gotten all the stars, there are some who never even noticed it because they just put the game in a box and stopped playing it. If they ever did play it again, it was from the beginning WITHOUT the sparkly jump. I think I only noticed it because I had read about it somewhere and had my eye open for it when I got that far.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 16, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> Yeah, once you get all the stars you get the sparkly jump and you can talk to Yoshi to get 100 lives. The thing is that you need the 100 lives in order to ... umm ... get coin high scores in all the levels ... or a better speed time in the slippery slide. There's nothing left to play so I can imagine that even for those of us who have actually gotten all the stars, there are some who never even noticed it because they just put the game in a box and stopped playing it. If they ever did play it again, it was from the beginning WITHOUT the sparkly jump. I think I only noticed it because I had read about it somewhere and had my eye open for it when I got that far.


You basically voiced one of my biggest pet peeves with many amazing games. Like, you complete it 100%, and your reward is this special ability that helps you in the levels and I'm like, what's the point? You've exhausted yourself getting to 100%, why would they wait to give you a special ability until you don't need it anymore? 



Spoiler



Mutant Mudds did the same thing, where once you've beaten the game 100% you get to play as Grandma, who can use all 3 special abilities at once. But there's LITERALLY no point, since you've beaten the game 100%. You can't even collect coins again because they don't reappear after you've collected all of them, or shortcut to special levels. It's a 100% useless reward.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Aug 19, 2012)

As a small dragon, you can fit hundreds (and sometimes thousands depending on which game you're playing) of gems around with you everywhere. You can also fly, but only in certain areas and for a certain amount of time.


----------



## chavosaur (Aug 19, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> As a small dragon, you can fit hundreds (and sometimes thousands depending on which game you're playing) of gems around with you everywhere. You can also fly, but only in certain areas and for a certain amount of time.


SPYRO!


----------



## 4-leaf-clover (Aug 19, 2012)

Healthcare is free, But a bottle of water costs 200 dollars (Pokemon)


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 19, 2012)

4-leaf-clover said:


> Healthcare is free, But a bottle of water costs 200 dollars (Pokemon)


Correction: Healthcare is free for your POKEMON. No telling whether it's free for you!


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 19, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> 4-leaf-clover said:
> 
> 
> > Healthcare is free, But a bottle of water costs 200 dollars (Pokemon)
> ...



YOU WILL NEVER NEED A HEALTH CARE!!
YOU ARE INVENCIBLE!!!


----------



## 4-leaf-clover (Aug 19, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> 4-leaf-clover said:
> 
> 
> > Healthcare is free, But a bottle of water costs 200 dollars (Pokemon)
> ...



True... But it still doesn't really make any sense


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 19, 2012)

http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=38


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 19, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> http://www.vgcats.co...er/?strip_id=38


i like to read SUPER EFFECTIVE!!


----------



## Tom (Aug 19, 2012)

People don't care if you just walk into their house , also , children aren't allowed to use chainsaws so yes using cut makes sense


----------



## DragorianSword (Aug 19, 2012)

Scyther is a big, winged bug and can't learn fly. A small pidgey can.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 19, 2012)

DragorianSword said:


> Scyther is a big, winged bug and can't learn fly. A small pidgey can.


i think that this was already posted, anyway:

you can solve other´s problems by singing.


----------



## Duckthom (Aug 20, 2012)

When your throat gets cut or your brains get shot out by a sniper, you can still be revived. *cough*battlefield*cough*


----------



## Lokao0 (Aug 20, 2012)

If you write random stuff on a notebook, they become real (Scribblenauts)
Spinning into anything will destroy it/send it flying away (Crash)
People don't have any connection to parts of their bodies (Rayman)


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 20, 2012)

Duckthom said:


> When your throat gets cut or your brains get shot out by a sniper, you can still be revived. *cough*battlefield*cough*


so what?, in 007 for n64 you´ll need AT LEAST 30 shotgun shots to die


----------



## Zetta_x (Aug 20, 2012)

Bats hanging on nothing, completely destroys physics in this world 



Spoiler


----------



## ouch123 (Aug 20, 2012)

Zetta_x said:


> Bats hanging on nothing, completely destroys physics in this world
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler



That bat WISHES it could destroy physics like this.


----------



## Zetta_x (Aug 20, 2012)

@[member='ouch123']

That was epically amusing!


----------



## thiefb0ss (Aug 22, 2012)

The slower the reload/time between shots, the more damage a gun does.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 22, 2012)

thiefb0ss said:


> The slower the reload/time between shots, the more damage a gun does.


Even more so if you yell "lock and load" or "oh yeah" (in the kool-aid man voice) and jam the magazine a second time at a certain interval while reloading (Gears of War)


----------



## chavosaur (Aug 22, 2012)

Gears of war logic?
mashing the A button keeps your heart beating.


----------



## roastable (Aug 22, 2012)

>Steal an ambulance/taxi/firetruck, become paramedic/taxi driver/firefighter.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 22, 2012)

able to kill a person with 6 punches


----------



## Taleweaver (Aug 22, 2012)

-they're rebuilding the city when you're not watching!
-flesh eating plants don't pop up when you're standing next to them
-throw an exploding bomb into the face of a huge enemy and he'll usually not even blink. But a small tickle with the sword on that glowing orange part of him and he'll go berserk (honestly...do I _WANT _to know what organ that is?).
-your team and the enemy line up on each side of the battlefield...and then it's exchanging blows one at a time*
-so there's this huge, powerful and usually quite rich badass (the end level is often a fortress or a castle). With traits like that, women would probably be lining up for him. But no...he goes off to kidnap yours.




*come to think of it...am I really the first one to mention this?


----------



## chavosaur (Aug 23, 2012)

Pokemon- it is physically impossible to run unless you have the shoes to do so.


----------



## ShinyLatios (Aug 23, 2012)

You can not run down the stairs when holding a jar.
You wake up, your uncle goes out of the door, you find him dying in the sewage system. afterwards, you, a kid, storm the castle single-handedly, kill off any guards in your way, rescue the princess, put her in a sanctuary and go out to save the world, without reward.


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Aug 23, 2012)

You can place your bicycle in your bag but you cannot take it out inside a building because you will be reminded of an old man telling you that there is a time and place for everything.


----------



## 4-leaf-clover (Aug 23, 2012)

Food can heal......... EVERYTHING!


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 23, 2012)

ShinyLatios said:


> You can not run down the stairs when holding a jar.
> You wake up, your uncle goes out of the door, you find him dying in the sewage system. afterwards, you, a kid, storm the castle single-handedly, kill off any guards in your way, rescue the princess, put her in a sanctuary and go out to save the world, without reward.


he has pleasure to help everyone....




4-leaf-clover said:


> Food can heal......... EVERYTHING!


it cant heal poison , only herbs/medicine....


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 23, 2012)

ZAFDeltaForce said:


> You can place your bicycle in your bag but you cannot take it out inside a building because you will be reminded of an old man telling you that there is a time and place for everything.


*Bane voice* When I decide the time and setting are appropriate, you have my permission to bike.


----------



## Deleted-236924 (Aug 23, 2012)

Excitebike: If you bump into another racer from behind, you fall, but they don't.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Aug 24, 2012)

When your bicycle goes in your bag other things like cases and other stuff fits in too!
Mario is safe and not hurt when he breaks blocks (bricks. etc). But he is not safe when a Turtle touches him, or a Goomba.
Mario is fat, but he can run for much MUCH hours non stop.
In Grand Theft Auto (?) when you have small hair, you get a haircut, you land up with even more hair.
The harder you press the button, the more your fighting character gets stronger.In real
*In real life*, there is a guard outside of the museum. So that means the robber has to find a way around!* In video games*, that guard is an enemy. That means you kill it.
In any Pokemon game, there is the trail onto the way to the next city. You see a tree in front of you. You also can notice you can walk around it.i
When your being chased by the cops, your 100% fine when you reach in your house. So the police wont come after you.


----------



## adamshinoda (Aug 24, 2012)

You can die because of the TV screen.
Remember the move-up screen stage in Super Castlevania IV?


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 24, 2012)

xAC3L3G3NDx said:


> Mario is fat, but he can run for much MUCH hours non stop.


He's also faster and more agile than Luigi, despite the fact that Luigi is in much better shape.


----------



## Seven (Aug 24, 2012)

Minecraft cake:


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 24, 2012)

Various characters from different games would obviously win against other ones, no contest. Id est, Sonic would for-sure beat Mario with his sound-barrier-breaking speed, Samus would surely beat Peach with her battle armor, Bowser would squish Olimar, etc. But the moment you put them all in a single game to compete each other, their advantages and greatly varying sizes are magically toned down CONSIDERABLY so everyone has a chance against everyone (Super Smash Bros, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games).


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Aug 24, 2012)

Keys to locked doors are kept in chests in various areas of a dungeon/enemies castle. 

Gates can block your path at any time, even if the bars are far apart enough to just slide on through.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 24, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Various characters from different games would obviously win against other ones, no contest. Id est, Sonic would for-sure beat Mario with his sound-barrier-breaking speed, Samus would surely beat Peach with her battle armor, Bowser would squish Olimar, etc. But the moment you put them all in a single game to compete each other, their advantages and greatly varying sizes are magically toned down CONSIDERABLY so everyone has a chance against everyone (Super Smash Bros, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games).


thats what makes the game better , if could run in the lightining speed w/ sonic in s/m at the oly.,then no other character would be chosen


----------



## Guild McCommunist (Aug 25, 2012)

What sick sadistic gods give the role of "Hero of Time" to a fucking child? Seriously.

I mean you're in a land filled with (I'd like to think) a few competent soldiers or hell, even adults, and thrust this role upon a fucking kid? Rooting him up from his home, the life he knew, ruining his childhood and forcing him on some bogus quest that's not even of his choosing?

Also, I don't care how much magical voodoo power you got from some crazy gods, a small child with absolutely no official training with weapons cannot defeat a large, powerful king of evil with years of training in both the dark arts and swordsmanship.


----------



## Deleted_171835 (Aug 25, 2012)

Guild McCommunist said:


> What sick sadistic gods give the role of "Hero of Time" to a fucking child? Seriously.
> 
> I mean you're in a land filled with (I'd like to think) a few competent soldiers or hell, even adults, and thrust this role upon a fucking kid? Rooting him up from his home, the life he knew, ruining his childhood and forcing him on some bogus quest that's not even of his choosing?
> 
> Also, I don't care how much magical voodoo power you got from some crazy gods, *a small child with absolutely no official training with weapons cannot defeat a large, powerful king of evil with years of training in both the dark arts and swordsmanship.*


Time travel, baby.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Aug 25, 2012)

soulx said:


> Guild McCommunist said:
> 
> 
> > What sick sadistic gods give the role of "Hero of Time" to a fucking child? Seriously.
> ...


So then they're throwing a 17 year old with absolutely no official training.

Also, who said he was talking about Ocarina of Time?

EDIT: Also, Wind Waker.


----------



## Deleted_171835 (Aug 25, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> So then they're throwing a 17 year old with absolutely no official training.
> 
> Also, who said he was talking about Ocarina of Time?


17 isn't so bad.

Because it makes the most sense in OOT (windwaker can suck it).


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 25, 2012)

Guild McCommunist said:


> Rooting him up from his home, the life he knew, ruining his childhood and forcing him on some bogus quest that's not even of his choosing?


In their defense, his childhood WAS kind of sucking, and he was a total outcast... and the Deku Tree DID ask him if he would partake in this quest. 



Suprgamr232 said:


> Also, who said he was talking about Ocarina of Time?
> 
> EDIT: Also, Wind Waker.


The Link of Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask is the only one who carried the title "Hero of Time." Link in the Wind Waker is called the "Hero of Time, reborn," at least once in the game, but his official title was "Hero of Winds."

Also, personally, I'd like to think that because of the Triforce of Courage (in most games) he sort of unconsciously possessed the skills and power of the Goddesses.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 25, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Guild McCommunist said:
> 
> 
> > Rooting him up from his home, the life he knew, ruining his childhood and forcing him on some bogus quest that's not even of his choosing?
> ...


thats why he could do these things


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Aug 25, 2012)

soulx said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > So then they're throwing a 17 year old with absolutely no official training.
> ...


It's vague enough where it can mean anything for Zelda 1, ALTP, Winder Waker, TP, OoT, uhh...Hmm. I think that's it, although there could be more.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 25, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> It's vague enough where it can mean anything for Zelda 1, ALTP, Winder Waker, TP, OoT, uhh...Hmm. I think that's it, although there could be more.


Dude, Guild made it 100% clear he was talking about OoT in the first sentence. 



Guild McCommunist said:


> What sick sadistic gods give the role of "Hero of Time" to a fucking child?


Again, Hero of Time is a title ONLY for the Link of OoT and MM. Heck, I don't think the term "Hero of Time" was used even in MM.


----------



## Maxternal (Aug 27, 2012)

soulx said:


> Suprgamr232 said:
> 
> 
> > So then they're throwing a 17 year old with absolutely no official training.
> ...


Keeping him in the temple of light for ten years was kinda the god's way of justifying their conscience not sending a small child out to battle. Had it not been for the triforce, though, you have to consider that he'd practically been comatose in a standing position for 7 years. His feet would probably be killing him but that may have been the only thing keeping his legs from atrophying during all that time. He would have needed therapy to have any coordination with his bigger body, let alone fight, especially when his only combat training is he happened to find a sword laying around the forest a few days before going into a coma. (At least in Wind Waker he gets some "training" before starting.) Had he been training with the sword for 7 years that's another thing but his opponent has had all that time to get used to having the power of a goddess... and not just any goddess but the goddess of power itself.

Having the triforce of courage fixes all that, though.


----------



## weavile001 (Aug 27, 2012)

plants can kill zombies


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 27, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> Keeping him in the temple of light for ten years was kinda the god's way of justifying their conscience not sending a small child out to battle. Had it not been for the triforce, though, you have to consider that he'd practically been comatose in a standing position for ten years. His feet would probably be killing him but that may have been the only thing keeping his legs from atrophying during all that time. He would have needed therapy to have any coordination with his bigger body, let alone fight, especially when his only combat training is he happened to find a sword laying around the forest a few days before going into a coma. (At least in Wind Waker he gets some "training" before starting.) Had he been training with the sword for 10 years that's another thing but his opponent has had all that time to get used to having the power of a goddess... and not just any goddess but the goddess of power itself.
> 
> Having the triforce of courage fixes all that, though.


You mean 7 years.


----------



## Wizerzak (Aug 27, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> soulx said:
> 
> 
> > Guild McCommunist said:
> ...


Well if we're not talking about OoT then why not SS? He receives sword training in that.


----------



## Clydefrosch (Aug 27, 2012)

dr light left upgrade capsules for mega man x to unleash his full potential.
he hid them in hard and extremely dangerous to reach areas and he didnt just build him at full potential, nor give him all upgrades at once.


----------



## Maxternal (Aug 27, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> You mean 7 years.


Right, I had forgotten that detail
Kinda got mixed up between "10 years old" and "7 years later" I guess.
Fixed.


----------



## MelodieOctavia (Aug 27, 2012)

If you're a woman, the less skin the armor covers, the better your armor rating is. 

If you're a man...You can wear 150lbs of armor, covers nearly every part of your exposed body, and you're still able to do backflips, dodges, and you're still able to swing an enormous sword that's larger than you are like it were made of Styrofoam.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 27, 2012)

Clydefrosch said:


> dr light left upgrade capsules for mega man x to unleash his full potential.
> he hid them in hard and extremely dangerous to reach areas and he didnt just build him at full potential, nor give him all upgrades at once.


I've wondered that myself. XD Though i think that was a sort of failsafe in case Mega Man X turned evil. The reason Dr. Light sealed him away so he could be "tested" in the computer to see whether he was trustworthy and would fight for the side of good.



TwinRetro said:


> you're still able to swing an enormous sword that's larger than you are like it were made of Styrofoam.


I doubt a sword that large would be easy to swing even if it was made of styrofoam...


----------



## narutofan777 (Aug 28, 2012)

you can keep sprinting forever.


----------



## Lanlan (Aug 28, 2012)

You can only sprint ten feet.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Aug 28, 2012)

Lanlan said:


> You can only sprint ten feet.


but somehow, you can jog forever basically, even if you're carrying a hundred pounds of military equipment.


----------



## Lanlan (Aug 28, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Lanlan said:
> 
> 
> > You can only sprint ten feet.
> ...


But if you go .1 pound over a certain limit, you're reduced from a jog to a saunter.


----------



## Law (Aug 28, 2012)

MY SPIDEY SENSE IS TELLING ME A LIVE GRENADE IS NEARBY


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Aug 28, 2012)

Lanlan said:


> xwatchmanx said:
> 
> 
> > Lanlan said:
> ...


But you can still jump, and if you've got a bow drawn back it can increase your speed a tiny bit.


----------



## ouch123 (Aug 29, 2012)

Suprgamr232 said:


> Lanlan said:
> 
> 
> > xwatchmanx said:
> ...


No more ambiguity. This ends now.


Spoiler











Related note, you can carry as much as you want on a horse, and this re-enables fast travel.


----------



## Tsuteto (Aug 31, 2012)

*Not getting your mile in the time you want?  Grab a knife!  You'll run faster!
*Floating islands are totally possible here without fancy schmancy technology.  Just place some dirt, destroy your bridge, you're good to go!
*Though sand will fall on you if you take something away next to it, if nature made it that way, it'll stay.
*The only place in which you can use your friends being slowly lowered into a fiery death as motivation to throw rocks at monsters faster as a fun game.

Don't have anything else for now.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Aug 31, 2012)

ouch123 said:


> *snippity snip*
> Related note, you can carry as much as you want on a horse, and this re-enables fast travel.


Even better, if you knock out Shadowmere you can "loot" and give as much as you want to the horse and she'll carry it all with no problems at all. (Oblivion, not Skyrim)


----------



## Taleweaver (Aug 31, 2012)

On that note:

-you know how to ride a horse, dragon, giant fish or any other mount the moment you get on it. Sometimes they're fiercefull or proud before you can ride them, but once you do, they lose all instincts whatsoever. Heck, you can drive them straight through a fire without them blinking.
-Getting on and off a horse takes about a second, and somehow doesn't involve you moving your feet even the slightest.
-when running forward and jumping, jumping again the second you land wields you some bonus speed.
-at the end of the day, rescuing your girl is all that matters. Nobody even questions the dozens or hundreds of murders you committed to get there (not that there's any evidence, as those bodies tend to go up in smoke).
-when starting a Real Time Strategy campaign, the first missions tend to involve moving a few units into some territory or basic structure building. Somehow, these basic tutorials training missions impresses the general staff enough to give you some "real" missions.


----------



## Pleng (Sep 1, 2012)

When at war, it's only polite to wait for your opponent to do something before taking your next action.


----------



## narutofan777 (Sep 1, 2012)

if you throw enemies at each other, they get stronger.

a short guy can block someone who is 6 ft 8 in height trying to do a layup.

a fat guy can run faster or equal to a skinny guy.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Sep 1, 2012)

If you have enough health/hearts/energy tanks you can stand in acid or even molten lava for a LONG time. But The moment your health/hears/energy tanks are at their last point, merely bumping into a creature that's half your size is enough to kill you. Because your body is THAT feeble without tiny hearts or glowing balls protecting you.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Sep 1, 2012)

When your in a multi million dollar nano suit, you use a bow and arrow.
When you have armor on, the armor can be weak, when your female character has no armor on... She's strong. I
In OoT if you can not open a certain door the message is ''Strange....... The door doesn't open'' - locked doors are considered abnormal.


----------



## weavile001 (Sep 1, 2012)

hairs dont fall, even if you are underwater.
enemies, mysteriously,will vanish after being defeated


----------



## xwatchmanx (Sep 1, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> enemies, mysteriously,will vanish after being defeated


Or else will disappear in a large puff of smoke.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Sep 4, 2012)

Super Mario Sunshine - Rico Harbor -  Star #2 - While you are on your Blooper riding, if you hit a wall, you die!
The Hover Nozzle - Sprays out water from from FLUDD from two sides, how is it possible to hover when water is just being sprayed?


----------



## weavile001 (Sep 4, 2012)

that fucked the level


----------



## Maxternal (Sep 4, 2012)

xAC3L3G3NDx said:


> Super Mario Sunshine
> The Hover Nozzle - Sprays out water from from FLUDD from two sides, how is it possible to hover when water is just being sprayed?


Have you ever seen one of these?





or anything like it?


----------



## ComeTurismO (Sep 4, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> xAC3L3G3NDx said:
> 
> 
> > Super Mario Sunshine
> ...


Yeah, but it's not the same in SMS. 










---------------- 

- If you talk to one person, talk to them again, they'll say the same thing
- If you jump on someone in SMS in Isle Delfino, talk to them, they wont be saying negative at you, they'll say other shit, off topic.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Sep 4, 2012)

Maxternal said:


> Have you ever seen one of these?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lol man that brings me back...

But at any rate, the rocket is just lifting itself, not a whole 180 lb+ human body


----------



## Narayan (Sep 6, 2012)

not many will get this.
but in dota.
you're an archer, who needs to buy swords, yes not only a sword but a bunch of them. (drow ranger needing items like shadow blade, manta style and butterfly)

also, combine a staff, a bow and a talisman. you get a sword.(quarterstaff,eaglehorn,talisman of evasion to make butterfly)
you need gloves to upgrade your boots.(power treads)
two hammers will make a scythe(desolator)

i really love dota. there's even a golem who will drop cheese if you killed him 3 or more times.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Sep 8, 2012)

V.A.T.S is in Fallout
Pipboy is also in fallout
In combat arms, you can hold a grenade for a  long time
Black holes in Mario galaxy kills mario, but not the planet


----------



## Pleng (Sep 9, 2012)

Turtle shells fall to the bottom of water. Once you grab hold of them, they magically loose mass and help you float.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Sep 9, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Turtle shells fall to the bottom of water. Once you grab hold of them, they magically loose mass and help you float.


Does this actually happen in any of the games (the first part, I mean)?


----------



## Pleng (Sep 9, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > Turtle shells fall to the bottom of water. Once you grab hold of them, they magically loose mass and help you float.
> ...



Unless I remember incorrectly it happens in Super Mario World? I'll test it out later...


----------



## xwatchmanx (Sep 9, 2012)

Pleng said:


> Unless I remember incorrectly it happens in Super Mario World? I'll test it out later...


Now that I think of it, yeah you're right. That does happen. I'm surprised I never thought of it. lol. The same applies to baby yoshi (stays on the floor by himself, floats as soon as you pick him up)


----------



## Pleng (Sep 9, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Pleng said:
> 
> 
> > Unless I remember incorrectly it happens in Super Mario World? I'll test it out later...
> ...



Yea but as baby Yoshi is an animal you could kind of maybe expect that behaviour; like he physically does something when he gets touched (ah hem) that makes him float. Can't think that works with inanimate objects though.

I'm thinking too hard about such a trivial matter...


----------



## ComeTurismO (Sep 9, 2012)

In Sims Ds its really nice if you talk to a sad guy like a baby to cheer him up.


----------



## Pleng (Sep 10, 2012)

xAC3L3G3NDx said:


> In Sims Ds its really nice if you talk to a sad guy like a baby to cheer him up.



I don't think you've quite grasped the point of this thread...


----------



## YayMii (Sep 10, 2012)

Your brother gives you money and tells you to go get yourself a beer.
...because beer apparently costs $200.


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Sep 10, 2012)

triassic911 said:


> Black-Ice said:
> 
> 
> > Double jump.
> ...


unless you playing super smash bros you know the old trick up up b you know ?? (:


----------



## snakepliskin2334 (Sep 10, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> Walking diagonal?
> For noobs.
> Left, Right, up, down ftw



or the old keys logic wasd


----------



## ComeTurismO (Sep 17, 2012)

on your 2nd date the girl likes you soo much that she wants to have 'it' with you.


----------



## weavile001 (Sep 21, 2012)

equips a sword-->vitality+ 4


----------



## Maxternal (Sep 21, 2012)

Dude,


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Sep 21, 2012)

Worms kill each other with modern and variety of weapons


----------



## weavile001 (Sep 21, 2012)

if you are in any city,cave or forest, the time will never pass


----------



## Black-Ice (Sep 22, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> if you are in any city,cave or forest, the time will never pass


OBJECTION!!
pokemon gen 4 and above


----------



## shoyrumaster11 (Sep 22, 2012)

One of my favorite Skyrim logics is when someone get's hit by an arrow, they'll say quotes like "I think I've heard something!", "I was sure I heard something!", "I heard something". Dragons flying backwards, broken maps! The whole game is just hallarious on the PS3 even IF i don't play Skyrim very often!


----------



## Ace Overclocked (Sep 22, 2012)

Black-Ice said:


> weavile001 said:
> 
> 
> > if you are in any city,cave or forest, the time will never pass
> ...


OBJECTION!!!
Pokemon Gen 2.


----------



## weavile001 (Sep 22, 2012)

i was talking about zelda.....


----------



## Maxternal (Sep 24, 2012)

weavile001 said:


> i was talking about zelda.....


In that case, it's only true when the end of the world is 4 or more days away.


----------



## Veho (Sep 28, 2012)

xwatchmanx said:


> Maxternal said:
> 
> 
> > Have you ever seen one of these?
> ...



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-KczCp0OQ4[/youtube]


----------



## Maxternal (Jan 29, 2013)

Closing a ten foot tall gate you can easily contain a flood that has submerged a whole forest in over 100 feet of water. (Skyward Sword)


----------



## Arras (Jan 29, 2013)

Weapons and/or attacks magically don't hurt your teammates but go straight through them.


----------



## Nah3DS (Jan 29, 2013)

If a character dies, he stays dead.... oh wait (fire emblem)


----------



## weavile001 (Jan 29, 2013)

you can kill someone knifing his leg.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Jan 29, 2013)

It's unlawful to steal, in Skyrim. But... If you just pick up the item and run away, it's O.K.


----------



## Deleted_171835 (Jan 29, 2013)

ComeTurismO said:


> It's unlawful to steal, in Skyrim. But... If you just pick up the item and run away, it's O.K.


I don't know what version of Skyrim you're playing.


----------



## Sterling (Jan 29, 2013)

soulx said:


> I don't know what version of Skyrim you're playing.


I think he means like the R3 button to just pick it up and carry it.


----------



## narutofan777 (Jan 30, 2013)

if you fail a mission, game over. - games

if you punch a reporter in public, assault charges will not be filed against you. - mass effect

if you die in a dream you die in real life - catherine

if you cheat on your SO you will be punished - catherine

if you piss someone off he/she will listen and agree with you - mass effect

if your family member dies you can play rock, paper and scissors with the grim reaper to get them back. - sims

if you build a lot of relationships you can get promoted in your job - sims


----------



## DragorianSword (Jan 30, 2013)

If you tip a cow and then milk it, you get a milkshake - Sims 2 (DS)


----------



## Jayro (Jan 30, 2013)

In Pokemon games, your mother sleeps in the kitchen.


----------



## triassic911 (Feb 8, 2013)

You are apparently fine with sleeping anywhere in the wilderness, even with creepers nearby, as long as you pull your bed out from your pocket onto the ground.


----------



## Arras (Feb 8, 2013)

Antichamber. All of it. You look at a box from one side, it's solid. Look at it from another side, it's a tunnel. Look backwards, you see a passageway you did not come out of. Walk through a hall and end up in the exact same one. Go right four times and end up somewhere entirely different.


----------



## Sychophantom (Feb 8, 2013)

I can't be bothered to read the whole thread, but I'm always amused by Skyrim's magical food preservation abilities.

No one's been in a cave for 200 years, fresh tomatoes abound.


----------



## Terenigma (Feb 8, 2013)

It makes much more sense to put a huge obvious band-aid to hide your barcode tattoo than to just get makeup to cover it.


----------



## Tom Bombadildo (Feb 8, 2013)

Arras said:


> Antichamber. All of it. You look at a box from one side, it's solid. Look at it from another side, it's a tunnel. Look backwards, you see a passageway you did not come out of. Walk through a hall and end up in the exact same one. Go right four times and end up somewhere entirely different.


This fucking game is amazing.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Feb 8, 2013)

If you dance well with a girl, she wishes to have sex with you.


----------



## weavile001 (Feb 8, 2013)

ComeTurismO said:


> If you dance well with a girl, she wishes to have sex with you.


If you give chocolate to a random girl in the street, she will wish the same thing


----------



## ComeTurismO (Feb 8, 2013)

weavile001 said:


> If you give chocolate to a random girl in the street, she will wish the same thing


LOL, in what game? I got mine from GTA BOGT.


----------



## weavile001 (Feb 8, 2013)

ComeTurismO said:


> LOL, in what game? I got mine from GTA BOGT.


rune factory....harvest moon, even the sims


----------



## ShadowSoldier (Feb 8, 2013)

ComeTurismO said:


> If you dance well with a girl, she wishes to have sex with you.


That's not just in video games my friend


----------



## Taleweaver (Feb 8, 2013)

ShadowSoldier said:


> That's not just in video games my friend


Damnit...that's the second time today you beat me to the punchline. 

On-topic:
-the difference between finishing first and finishing second (with just a split second to spare) is about 1000 experience. (Sonic & all stars racing)
-Shuffling a deck of cards takes barely a second, yet it's totally randomized.
-after beating someone up 'till knock out, it just takes a few seconds to recover (pretty much all fighter games)
-quite some vendors will buy ANYTHING from you (though usually at low prices).
-magic never fails and always works instantly. Christ, you can even drink a magical potion that heals damage you took from stepping on a hedgehog.
-walking in lava hurts, though it won't leave a scratch on your shoes or clothes.


----------



## ShadowSoldier (Feb 8, 2013)

- Driving faster than NPC's in games like GTA won't get the cops after you for speeding.
- Driving recklessly and running over a few people and lamp posts won't get cops after you.
- You can take so many bullets to the face and not die even though you're not a space marine.


----------



## Maxternal (Feb 8, 2013)

When a volcano erupts the most logical thing for your enemy do to is to clutter up the landscape with all kinds of crappy, makeshift fences and get out and send more patrols out under the falling ashes. As soon as the eruption stops, though, there's no need for any of that anymore.

If they happen to capture and loot you during said eruption time, the most logical thing for them to do is place your belongings in separate treasure chests scattered randomly about the volcanic landscape.

Oh, and gloves with long claws on them ONLY work as great weapons when you're crawling around underground.

-Skyward Sword


----------



## xwatchmanx (Feb 9, 2013)

JayRo said:


> In Pokemon games, your mother sleeps in the kitchen.


Don't women in real life do that? 


Sychophantom said:


> I can't be bothered to read the whole thread, but I'm always amused by Skyrim's magical food preservation abilities.
> 
> No one's been in a cave for 200 years, fresh tomatoes abound.


Same thing in Ocarina of Time. Get a bottle of Lon Lon milk from the ranch after visiting Zelda for the first time, spend likely multiple days travelling, including inside a cave of molten lava and the belly of a giant fish, then fast forward in time 7 years (which WAS 7 years for you and all your gear, evidenced by your change in age), and the milk still replenishes five hearts whenever you decide to drink it.


----------



## Taleweaver (Feb 9, 2013)

-You can shoot down an entire building with a minigun...
-...unless a repairman is busy fixing the OTHER side of it.
-you can send units singlehandedly straight into enemy lines, out in the open, and none of them even complains*
-you really think you can land on top of a small bug? Think again! (comic link
-it only takes one guy less than a minute to build a fully operational & advanced building about 10 times his size.




*okay...'Z' was kind of an exception. But they still gladly marched to that enemy tank


----------



## Maxternal (Feb 10, 2013)

xwatchmanx said:


> Same thing in Ocarina of Time. Get a bottle of Lon Lon milk from the ranch after visiting Zelda for the first time, spend likely multiple days travelling, including inside a cave of molten lava and the belly of a giant fish, then fast forward in time 7 years (which WAS 7 years for you and all your gear, evidenced by your change in age), and the milk still replenishes five hearts whenever you decide to drink it.


I can just imagine Link pulling out the half-full bottle of old milk, only half drinking it because he actually has to chew down the curds ... then turns it over and looks at the expiration date and things "April, a good month"


----------



## narutofan777 (Feb 13, 2013)

zoo tycoon - a t rex can kill a man, but isn't able to kill a women, girl or boy.

witcher 2 - you have to kneel down to drink a potion

sims - a bad hygiene affects your mood

pokemon - if you lose a fight you lose money


----------



## Sychophantom (Feb 13, 2013)

narutofan777 said:


> sims - a bad hygiene affects your mood


 
I can be pretty surly when I've got a stank going on.


----------



## Nah3DS (Feb 13, 2013)

narutofan777 said:


> pokemon - if you lose a fight you lose money


actually, if you think about it... it makes sense
when you loose a fight, you black out... random people might take advantage of it and steal your money, and maybe do some other things to do 
fuck... pokemon is dangerous




Maxternal said:


> When a volcano erupts...


hahaha good one


----------



## geoflcl (Feb 13, 2013)

Maybe this one's been stated already, but:

It's totally okay to just waltz into folks' houses unannounced. Even if you're armed to the brim with dangerous weaponry, they'll accept your gracious visit with open arms! And in addition to letting you rest up, they'll even tell you a good story! Such a good story, in fact, that they'll tell it over and over each time you speak to them.


----------



## XDel (Feb 13, 2013)

I would contribute but I think Nathan Barnett and the Half-Life comic Concerned have pretty much covered any original idea I might have had.


----------



## thiefb0ss (Feb 17, 2013)

It takes <5 seconds to eat anything.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Feb 17, 2013)

No need to worry about the 5 second rule, then.


----------



## ComeTurismO (Feb 21, 2013)

Mario can, after sustaining injury, recover his health by floating in water for a few seconds.


----------



## ComeTurismO (May 13, 2013)

Bumped the thread, since it's necessary.
You can attack, and eat at the same time.


----------



## tatripp (May 13, 2013)

JayRo said:


> In Pokemon games, your mother sleeps in the kitchen.


That's where my mother sleeps.


----------



## TheCasketMan (May 13, 2013)

1. Enemies do not die or get extremly wounded from 1 shot, especially as the game progresses.
2. The player can carry an RPG, LMG, assault rifle, and a sniper rifle at the same time.
3. You can find food and healing items in the strangest of place, like inside a wall, in a dumpster, or in outer space.
4. Conveniently placed explosive barrels.
5. Double jump.
6. In game purchases.


----------



## Foxi4 (May 13, 2013)

There isn't a wound that can't be fixed with a sandwich... or a slice of pizza... or meat that was conviniently hidden in a nearby wall.


----------



## weavile001 (May 13, 2013)

you can materialize weapons from the walls , if you have the right amount of points.


----------



## Gahars (May 13, 2013)

Characters do not know that they are in video games, but everyone in the real world knows they are video game characters.

That don't make no sense.


----------



## tbgtbg (May 13, 2013)

You're injured badly, near death. Medicine fixes you instantly.


----------



## Snailface (May 13, 2013)

End bosses have the ability to create tidal waves, summon ancient deities, assemble armies of incompetent goblins with a conference call . . .

. . . but they can't be bothered to lock the door to their dungeon. :/


----------



## xwatchmanx (May 13, 2013)

Wearing a really ornamental, stand-out white and red assassin robe in public is considered normal, but running through the streets isn't.


----------



## nukeboy95 (May 13, 2013)




----------



## tatripp (May 13, 2013)

Gahars said:


> Characters do not know that they are in video games, but everyone in the real world knows they are video game characters.
> 
> That don't make no sense.


 
Maybe you are a video game character and someone else is thinking that about you.


----------



## Pleng (May 13, 2013)

A bomb will blow holes through a weekend wall, and injure bad guys, but will have no effect on a wooden fence or a member of the village


----------



## Rizsparky (May 13, 2013)

In Hyrule, if you slice bushes you get money!


----------



## Taleweaver (May 13, 2013)

Rizsparky said:


> In Hyrule, if you slice bushes you get money!


Money doesn't grow on trees. On bushes, on the other hand... 

Anyway...after playing too much AC3:

* you can climb a three-floor house in a matter of seconds. Nobody will notice.
* there was no racism in the eighteenth century...at all! (yes, even that burning of the Indian village was for other reasons)
* "my people have to be free" makes it okay to go on a lone navy slaughtering spree
* if you kill an important officer, he'll go on babbling for ten more minutes while everyone around you just...well just do NOTHING!
* what you actually do: hiding in the bushes and quickly run to the next cover between gunfire shots (and usually getting hit a lot nonetheless).
What people tell you you'll be doing: singlehandedly breaking through enemy barricades, fighting off an entire army while getting close enough to kill the main officer.


----------



## tatripp (May 13, 2013)

Japan doesn't see this as a big issue like America only recently has. From what little research I did they do not recognize it as valid. Does anyone really care? Nintendo is not trying to rock the boat and create a social change. They are just trying to sell a product.


----------



## Chary (May 13, 2013)

That apparently in the year 2016, according to Ace Attorney, everyone still carries around Nokia bricks as cell phones.


----------



## xwatchmanx (May 13, 2013)

Chary said:


> That apparently in the year 2016, according to Ace Attorney, everyone still carries around Nokia bricks as cell phones.


That's because in 2016 Nokia Bricks become Retro, and that's when all the hipsters come out.


----------



## weavile001 (May 13, 2013)

xwatchmanx said:


> That's because in 2016 Nokia Bricks become Retro, and that's when all the hipsters come out.


God.
phoenix is a Hipster o_0


----------



## xwatchmanx (May 13, 2013)

weavile001 said:


> God.
> phoenix is a Hipster o_0


With a name like Phoenix, are you honestly surprised?


----------



## nukeboy95 (May 17, 2013)




----------



## Veho (May 17, 2013)

Have you never heard of hair extensions?


----------



## Ethevion (May 17, 2013)

nukeboy95 said:


> -snip-


At $250, it might be possible


----------



## mechadylan (May 17, 2013)

If you're a mouse eating cheese and being chased by a cat, simply eat a bone to turn into a dog and seek immediate retribution; but be quick as the rodent to canine transformation is fleeting.  Ahhh, vintage video game logic.


----------



## dragonblood9999 (May 17, 2013)

Final boss, in final form, can be killed with one attack. i am looking at you Sephiroth


----------



## wrettcaughn (May 17, 2013)

This RPG was so well liked that we've decided to make the sequel a FPS.


----------



## Chary (May 20, 2013)

That you can't run at all in Pokemon, unless you have special "running shoes".


----------



## Ace Overclocked (May 20, 2013)

Chary said:


> That you can't run at all in Pokemon, unless you have special "running shoes".


 
Plot twist: Your character's wearing high heels prior to getting the running shoes.


----------



## Taleweaver (May 21, 2013)

Here's a hypothetical situation. You're in a cave. You had just fallen/jumped down a hole. In order to get back out, you find a corridor. It's a bit small, though. If you kneel, the ceiling is just about the same level with your torso. Do you...

A. bend forward a bit and crawl out that way.
B. further explore the cave, fight an evil monster about twice your size in order to get some ancient orb-like thing that, for some reason, inspires you to curb up in a fetal position so you can _roll_ out of the cave.


A would be real logic. B would be the gamer logic.

And to make sure we're gamers...let's all make fun of anyone even _thinking_ of option A.


----------



## Kurly (Jun 1, 2013)

wrettcaughn said:


> This RPG was so well liked that we've decided to make the sequel a FPS.


Where have I seen that before 




(close enough)

On a side note
>Mowing down hordes of eldritch abominations with your impressive arsenal of weaponry
No problem.
>Overcoming a locked door.
Now we're in trouble.


----------



## Ethevion (Jun 1, 2013)

The more naked a woman in some RPGs the more defense she has.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 1, 2013)

Sagat said:


> The more naked a woman in some RPGs the more defense she has.


Of course! Enemies are more likely to grope her than attack her.


----------



## Ethevion (Jun 1, 2013)

xwatchmanx said:


> Of course! Enemies are more likely to grope her than attack her.


If the nakedness gives her a buff that dazes, immobilizes, and causes enemy men to constantly drool it'd make more sense, but it's not like it's a bad thing. Higher levels = more naked women


----------



## kehkou (Jun 1, 2013)

get stabbed in the foot and die instantly. get shot in the chest 3 times, just duck behind an obstacle, you'll be better in a jiffy!

EDIT: What BlackWizzard17 said.


----------



## BlackWizzard17 (Jun 1, 2013)

-You can get shot multiple times and still recover without any healing aids


----------



## Chary (Jun 1, 2013)

In the land of Ace Attorney, your client is guilty until proven innocent.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 1, 2013)

BlackWizzard17 said:


> -You can get shot multiple times and still recover without any healing aids


Consuming completely normal food like sandwiches that you just find sitting on the ground apparently heals bullet wounds (many games, but I'm thinking of Bioshock Infinite in particular right now).


----------



## kehkou (Jun 1, 2013)

SA: Planes fall like rocks if you jump out of one.
Cars quickly ignite if overturned.
Trains have, at most, 5 rolling-stock.
Large jet-liners can fly backwards.

Also, every-single-character in every game can carry a ridiculous amount of gear.


----------



## Kurly (Jun 1, 2013)

The world MAY be on the verge of destruction but that can wait until every fetch quest is completed.
The chosen one has priorities after all.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 2, 2013)

Kurly said:


> The world MAY be on the verge of destruction but that can wait until every fetch quest is completed.
> The chosen one has priorities after all.


Ocarina of Time: Ganondorf has turned Hyrule into a wasteland and only I can stop him... I should go fishing!


----------



## weavile001 (Jun 2, 2013)

xwatchmanx said:


> Ocarina of Time: Ganondorf has turned Hyrule into a wasteland and only I can stop him... I should go fishing!


 
OH no!, the world will end in 30 minutes!, lets just spend 2 hours trying to kill lucifer and talk about our families.


----------



## Sychophantom (Jun 2, 2013)

Batman spends hours upon hours crawling around rooftops, fighting bad guys, and punching sharks.....but never has to take a piss.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 2, 2013)

weavile001 said:


> OH no!, the world will end in 30 minutes!, lets just spend 2 hours trying to kill lucifer and talk about our families.


Which one is that, again?


----------



## Kurly (Jun 2, 2013)

xwatchmanx said:


> Which one is that, again?


I think he's talking about the 7th day of SMT: Devil Survivor?


----------



## weavile001 (Jun 2, 2013)

Kurly said:


> I think he's talking about the 7th day of SMT: Devil Survivor?


 
yup.


----------



## Maxternal (Jun 8, 2013)

all humanity has been wiped out years ago ... but you can still wander around the earth with your half-plant minions and find food laying around ... with NO mold on it whatsoever.


----------



## weavile001 (Jun 8, 2013)

Maxternal said:


> all humanity has been wiped out years ago ... but you can still wander around the earth with your half-plant minions and find food laying around ... with NO mold on it whatsoever.


 
game, please.....


----------



## Maxternal (Jun 8, 2013)

weavile001 said:


> game, please.....


pikmin 2


----------



## GameWinner (Jun 8, 2013)

Pokemon:
-Massage an old man's back to get Cut.
-You can't get to the next town unless you give the security guard something to drink.
-There's a big tub of lard sitting between a road and a city and no one gives a damn.
-You have to dig in trash to find buttons. If you fail, they reset?
-People go into a dark cave and sit there waiting for the main character to come and battle.

Well I think I got most of the Kanto region....


----------



## the_randomizer (Jun 8, 2013)

Simply hiding behind a wall or table after getting shot several times will allow you to fully recover after 15 seconds (Splinter Cell Conviction or Assassin's Creed) 

If you visit a major city in each major continent in an RPG, it will be destroyed shortly after you visit it (also called Zidane's Curse) 

Enemies always wait around when you pause a game to look at James Bond's watch (Goldeneye 007) 

Somehow placing enemies in shallow water will kill them instantly after you knock them out and place their unconscious bodies in it (Splinter Cell Chaos Theory)

Kirby is the only character who can breathe fire underwater

And people can carry swords twice their height and weight with ease


----------



## Taleweaver (Jun 8, 2013)

the_randomizer said:


> And people can carry swords twice their height and weight with ease


Erm...this guy begs to differ:


I know you're referring to games like Final Fantasy, but still...it was worth mentioning.


----------



## the_randomizer (Jun 8, 2013)

Taleweaver said:


> Erm...this guy begs to differ:
> 
> 
> I know you're referring to games like Final Fantasy, but still...it was worth mentioning.





I was talking about Cloud's buster sword, yes. Oh well.


----------



## nukeboy95 (Jun 8, 2013)




----------



## Pedeadstrian (Jun 8, 2013)

dragonblood9999 said:


> Final boss, in final form, can be killed with one attack. i am looking at you Sephiroth


I'd call Omnislash multiple attacks, since it's not one fluid motion... but yeah.



nukeboy95 said:


>


I'm pretty sure that's what all "poorly-endowed" guys say to their girlfriends/potential mates.


A man controlling a cat in a... something... suit can somehow protect Black Materia (which is a giant temple) from itself.
Don't have Underwater materia? Sorry, you now only have 20 minutes of breathing underwater before you die.
Scratch behind a white chocobo's ear, or speak Chocobese to dancing chocobo, and you'll get materia that it hid... somewhere you don't wanna think about.

Touch a boss when it's dead, and gain its power. Touch any enemy when it's alive, and lose health.
Giant dragon? Takes only a few hits to kill. Tiny Mettaur? Invincible when ducking.
Got an amazing robot dog that can change shapes? Have him turn into a rocket that can't go straight up or down.

Got a random belt? Use an identify scroll! Got a trinket of potentially unlimited power? Find out only after it's too late.
Feel like having some hamburgers or steak? Put a peg leg and a book into this box, then step into this red vortex!
You need a temporary respite from the demonic embodiment of Anguish, Pain, Hatred, Terror, or Destruction? Put up a portal right next to them that takes you to your only sanctuary for miles.


----------



## xwatchmanx (Jun 23, 2013)

If you're getting your ass kicked in a boss fight (particularly in more recent games), just go ahead and throw the fight. After all, you'll just be sent back to the cut scene at the beginning of the fight.


----------



## Narayan (Jun 23, 2013)

Spoiler: In dota 2 you make a crossbow with 2 swords and a claw like weapon. that's not the only one.








http://www.dota2wiki.com/wiki/Daedalus


----------



## Maxternal (Sep 12, 2013)

When the guy dies who had requested you not to use all your arsenal of weapons (who has no authority over you but just kinda decided to go along with) ... you don't immediately turn on every single gadget in your armament.

- Metroid Other M


----------



## Maxternal (Sep 17, 2013)

* Huge spacecraft set to self-destruct in 5 minutes. The loudspeakers broadcast a voice urging everyone to evacuate immediately BUT fences that have never appeared or had any other use in all the rest of the game automatically drop down in escape routes, PREVENTING such an evacuation from happening.
* 5 minutes is plenty of time to evacuate such a spacecraft.
* If you're wearing a suit that has the ability to greatly increase you're running speed, you DON'T activate it to help you get out of the self-destructing spaceship. Looking sexy is FAR more important.
* The ability to psychically control hoards of alien life forms and in turn be influenced by their emotions does NOT also allow you to realize good or bad intentions that certain humans might have toward you or realize if they're
coming up behind you to try reprogram your brain.
* A creature that's probably larger than a horse can hatch out of the body of an animal the size of a chicken. (Ridley)

- Metroid : Other M


----------



## anhminh (Sep 17, 2013)

Sword deal more damage than piston.
Fabric cloth can boost your defend, heck even bikini can boost your defend higher than armor.
Foe never counter when you beating them, they only fight back when you stop.
Use meteorite to attack, only opponent take damage, and your attack never hit you no matter how far your stand from your opponent.
Your cloth is indestructible but your aren't, some how all attack go through it and go straight to your body. You defend still get boosted though.


----------



## Taleweaver (Sep 18, 2013)

* narrators can give the most useless advice ("pull this lever to pull the lever") and despite them claiming they support you, the sometimes get downright sarcastic or cynical about it (Glados, anyone?).
* it's not just in spaceships that women tend to choose sexyness over functionality. In medieval games, having major cleavage is also more important than...y'know...protecting against arrows to the knee chest.
* airplanes can have a gazillion firepower that can take out other ships in a single blast and can even pick up their weapons mid-flight after shooting them...but they can't change their altitude to avoid incoming fire
* if you crash during a race or simply stop the car, the other cars suddenly drive a lot slower (rubberbanding AI...it happens in quite some games)
* water may look beautiful now...but it doesn't make you wet. At all.


Maxternal: in starcraft, Ultralisks also hatch from eggs that are easily ten times smaller than they are at 'birth'.


----------



## Maxternal (Feb 11, 2014)

http://www.dorkly.com/comic/41403/videogames-vs-real-life


Spoiler: part1










http://www.dorkly.com/comic/53249/videogames-vs-real-life-part-2


Spoiler: part2


----------



## Veho (Apr 28, 2014)




----------



## ComeTurismO (Jun 23, 2014)

*Bump. *
_More new members = more things to share._
If you stand next to a girl in GTA V, apparently you're wanted for attempted rape.


----------



## Taleweaver (Jun 24, 2014)

-nearly literally drowning your plants in water is okay...they can take it. In fact, they give you money for it (I've been playing too much plants vs zombies)
-"I know you're still a child and all, but where others believe you can't even take care of a rat problem, I believe you will save this universe someday"
-it's pretty normal to refer to the workings of physics and reality in a smudge and winky way (at this point, it's almost a requirement for 16-bit games)
-life is a lot like groundhog day. Dying or doing something wrong just means you have to start a small part of what you were doing again.
-hacking is easy. All it takes is getting within bluetooth range of a computer and pressing a button. Or play a minigame at best.


----------



## Veho (Jun 24, 2014)

ComeTurismO said:


> If you stand next to a girl [...], apparently you're wanted for attempted rape.


That's closer to Tumblr logic than video game logic


----------



## DinohScene (Jun 24, 2014)

All you have to do, is follow the damn train!


----------



## megaexplosion (Jun 24, 2014)

If there's gonna be a hurricane or earthquake the next day just keep watching the weather channel until the natural disaster feels like not happening anymore.
Harvest Moon...


----------



## Social_Outlaw (Jun 24, 2014)

1. Cars that are not enemies always want to ram into you when you chase an enemy - GTA SA

2. Your a smart alien, but you can only take over a human body for a short period of time? - Destroy All Humans

3. You can smoke a cigar to fast forward time - MGS5 Phantom Pain

4. You can fake your own death by using a Fake Death Pill, but if you don't take your Revival Pill in a certain time to counter it you will die? ITS FAKE!!! - MGS3

5. If I beat one of my teammates ass inside our hideout, my whole crew would kill me, but if I do it again, and immediately run out our hideout, and come back in they would act like nothing never happen - The Warriors


----------



## migles (Jun 24, 2014)

Logan97 said:


> 2. You throw a knife in someone head and they're still alive - COD


 

i don't see a problem....
but anyway, if you go back it was already said a better one "get shot multiple times still alive, knife on the feet instant death"


----------



## Social_Outlaw (Jun 24, 2014)

migles said:


> i don't see a problem....
> but anyway, if you go back it was already said a better one "get shot multiple times still alive, knife on the feet instant death"


 
K I'll switch


----------



## Pleng (Jun 26, 2014)

I can't do that


----------



## Terenigma (Jun 26, 2014)

Stuck in traffic with cars everywhere? Want a simple solution? Set your car on fire and watch how the road mysteriously vanishes of every other car. - GTA


----------



## migles (Jul 5, 2014)

i was playing kirbi on the wii today and i just realised something i didn't thought when i was young

kirby a game where you eat fast food and punch trees until they cry....

is nintendo telling me, fuck the trees and get fat?


----------



## BlackWizzard17 (Jul 5, 2014)

Running so fast collecting rings to then get hit and loose all those rings that you didn't even have pockets to carry them in - Sonic Series


----------



## Pleng (Jul 9, 2014)

Not exactly video game logic, but mildly related:

No Keyboard or Keyboard Error
Press any key to continue...


----------



## Maxternal (Jul 14, 2014)

66 pieces of fruit is all you can find on the surface of a WHOLE PLANET
BUT
Those 66 pieces of fruit are enough to save your WHOLE STARVING PLANET from extinction.

-Pikmin 3


----------



## Taleweaver (Jul 14, 2014)

Maxternal said:


> 66 pieces of fruit is all you can find on the surface of a WHOLE PLANET
> BUT
> Those 66 pieces of fruit are enough to save your WHOLE STARVING PLANET from extinction.
> 
> -Pikmin 3


Can't they plant the seeds of those fruits to grow all they ever need in nutrition?

Yeah, I know...it's a long term planning solution for an immediate problem, and if you're collecting the same pieces of fruit it's pointless too...but it could be worse (at least you're not collecting candy, pies or chocolate for your people  ).


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## Sychophantom (Jul 14, 2014)

You can carry hot lava in a metal bucket, but if you throw the bucket into lava, it melts/disappears - Minecraft.


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## migles (Jul 14, 2014)

Sychophantom said:


> You can carry hot lava in a metal bucket, but if you throw the bucket into lava, it melts/disappears - Minecraft.


 
and dont forget you can forge it on a regular furnace but its ok if you carry super hot fresh lava


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## Sychophantom (Jul 14, 2014)

migles said:


> and dont forget you can forge it on a regular furnace but its ok if you carry super hot fresh lava


That you can use to power the furnace to make more buckets.


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## Taleweaver (Jul 31, 2014)

I've been playing far cry 3 lately. Fun game, but I gotta say that the more games evolve (both from graphical perspective as from character development), the creepier they actually become...

-white boi power: you start out as a scared teenager and evolve into a mass murderer without regret (and in case of far cry 3 even downright sadismic FUN) within a few missions
-when exploring a hidden temple or a military in search of an item, there's often only one long, difficult path to your goal. But once you have that item, exiting turns out to be easy-peasy. So WHY NOT ENTER THROUGH THAT EXIT INSTEAD???
-the average guard is deaf to most sounds like someone swimming, climbing a ladder, someone talking to himself or even knifing your colleague. They also have a field of view I swear is in the single digits...until they spot you. Then they see you, hear you, know where you are and can shoot at you from half the continent away
-speaking of which: it's perfectly normal that your character talks to himself, sometimes directly voicing your mission even while it is flashing directly on the HUD.
-plundering and stealing everyone's stuff is only a terrible crime if SOMEONE ELSE does it (I've had quite some encounters that where some guy was praising how I was helping their tribe at pretty much the very same moment I was looting the little possessions he had just so I could sell it later...especially with the huge-ass gun I was running around, it felt as if the game was showcasing capitalism at its finest  ).


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## Tom Bombadildo (Jul 31, 2014)

Taleweaver said:


> I've been playing far cry 3 lately. Fun game, but I gotta say that the more games evolve (both from graphical perspective as from character development), the creepier they actually become...
> 
> -white boi power: you start out as a scared teenager and evolve into a mass murderer without regret (and in case of far cry 3 even downright sadismic FUN) within a few missions


 
Pretty sure the main character is like late 20's early 30's 

But yeah, the rest of your points are pretty accurate, though the whole "why not enter through the exit" thing, the exit usually ends up being in a spot that isn't accessible from any other direction other than through the cave.  I can think of very few caves that can be accessed from the exit itself.


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## Gahars (Aug 1, 2014)

Taleweaver said:


> -white boi power: you start out as a scared teenager and evolve into a mass murderer without regret (and in case of far cry 3 even downright sadismic FUN) within a few missions


 

Is that really a criticism if that's the whole point of the story? The other characters constantly call you out on your creepy blood lust, and the ending... well, it ain't exactly uplifting.


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## Taleweaver (Aug 1, 2014)

Tom Bombadildo: turns out we're both wrong: he's 25. But I gotta say the game doesn't quite tell you much of who you're playing as.

And I started noticing the exit thingy after two missions:


Spoiler



One where you have to retrieve the knive from the temple. So even though you have to fight through all these enemies who have their base there for no reason, then have to use your magical 3-part compass (which conveniently allowed for extra missions earlier in the game) to open a door and do some more Indiana Jones/Prince of Persia routines. But after you finally get the knife, it's almost a straight line to the open air.

The other one is one of the early missions on the southern islands: stealing a uniform from one of the rookie privates. After quite a lot of sneaking around, I finally find the one guy I am supposed to kill and strip (keep in mind that he is dressed and looks exactly like the couple of thousand clones you already killed). He's on a boat. And as it turns out, you can just SWIM AWAY after the mission. Which means that all that sneaking could've been avoided if that German contact person had bothered to tell you how to get away from that boat AT THE START. 


 


Gahars said:


> Is that really a criticism if that's the whole point of the story? The other characters constantly call you out on your creepy blood lust, and the ending... well, it ain't exactly uplifting.


 
It's not so much criticism as it's the way that it is (satire, in other words). It's true that your friends call you out on it, but while that is a good thing in the game, it at the same time points out that shortcoming in most other games (kind of like how Spec ops: the line does it on military shooters). Haven't finished it yet, so can't say much on the ending yet.


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## Taleweaver (Aug 4, 2014)

-things you can pick up cannot be destroyed: you can sink your entire ammunition of flame thrower fuel on a wad of dollar bills, but it simply won't burn or even change color. Likewise, bulletproof vests only start to wear out AFTER you start wearing them.
-when people start talking to you, they WILL NOT STOP talking, even if you break eye contact, teabag their dead wife or simply run away mid-conversation
-open worlds your average environment is LITTERED with crates holding cash, trinkets, weapons and ammo. Even though treasure chests tell you all locations within a few meters, nobody ever uses it but you
-you can somehow improve skills you haven't used before (like improving your swimming capabilities by hunting animals).
-it's not as fun being a hero if a "hero" is used by people who use said word to send you on fetch quests and do all the dirty work.


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## lagaremondays (Aug 10, 2014)

I rescued a dozen of towns, killed big-ass bosses and saved the world from the brink of extinction. And the town people still treat me like a kid and sent me for fetch quests. Dude, where's my respect?


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## Veho (Sep 25, 2014)




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## Bimmel (Sep 25, 2014)

Everbody fight for any stupid reason.

~ every beat'em up game

Animals get catched into a tiny ball, transfered on a PC and will never see the light of day again.
When your animals are defeated, you faint for no reason at all and lose money.

~ Pokemon

Many people look the same when you go into a town.

~ every RPG so far

People act stupid or asking silly questions so the story can be told or things can be explained in more details, even if the matter should be clear to these characters.

~ almost every video game

Main hero remains silent for words, but screams like an idiot.
Everything the hero gets, he must hold high in the air so everybody can see it.
When Zelda transforms into Shiek, she is a badass ninja who shoots needles and jump super high. As Zelda she can't do any of that, even if its the same person after all.

~ Legend of Zelda


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## Veho (Mar 24, 2015)




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## xwatchmanx (Mar 24, 2015)

Take multiple shots to your chest, sometimes even your head, and you're often totally fine. But get sniped in the arm or even in the gun, and it's instant death.


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## Tom Bombadildo (Mar 24, 2015)

xwatchmanx said:


> Take multiple shots to your chest, sometimes even your head, and you're often totally fine. But get sniped in the arm or even in the gun, and it's instant death.


 
I love when this happens, especially in games like BF Hardline that shows you where you were shot in multiplayer. Half the time it's just your leg that's shot and nothing else  I mean, I guess technically if a bullet managed to hit your femoral artery you'd die from a leg shot


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## Vipera (Mar 24, 2015)

I can't destroy doors with a rocket launcher.


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## xwatchmanx (Mar 24, 2015)

Vipera said:


> I can't destroy doors with a rocket launcher.


 
Heavy weapons AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH for cutting down wooden planks nailed across a doorway! ONLY A FUCKING CHAINSAW ATTACHED TO A GUN WILL DO THE TRICK (_Gears of War 2_ onwards).


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## Attacker3 (Mar 27, 2015)

-Bread can move itself towards a toaster and toast itself


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## ComeTurismO (Jun 7, 2015)

You get asked for sex a day after having a mission with a girl.


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## RevPokemon (Jun 7, 2015)

Princesses are never in the castle


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## Taleweaver (Jun 7, 2015)

On that note, it's perfectly normal that princesses have relationships with Italian plumbers (assuming he IS a plumber...it's not like you'll ever see him working). 

-hacking a computer is easy and/or fun. It either comes down to holding down a button or playing pipe dream. 
-no matter how dire the situation is, everyone waits for you if you need to change your gear or want to look at your map.
-as a mayor, it's deemed normal that you build and destroy houses instantly (okay...give or take a day, since the timescale is different)
-nobody interrupts their conversation with you if you start wandering around the place or even jump up and down their furniture.
-you can craft things like axes and pickaxes with your bare hands using nothing but a few basic ingredients.


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## Taleweaver (Jun 9, 2015)

Okay...just ran into this, and just HAD to share:




(here's a 'making of'-video, btw).


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## Deleted User (Jun 9, 2015)

You can beat up a pile of puke.


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## migles (Jun 9, 2015)

Taleweaver said:


> Okay...just ran into this, and just HAD to share:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




7.8/10 too much accuracy


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## TecXero (Jun 9, 2015)

The type weaknesses and strengths for Pokemon always bugged me, especially when it involved electric type's strengths and weaknesses.


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## migles (Jun 9, 2015)

TecXero said:


> The type weaknesses and strengths for Pokemon always bugged me, especially when it involved electric type's strengths and weaknesses.


like, water is conductive, so electrik is 2x
metal is suposed to be super conductive and electric makes half damage?


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## TecXero (Jun 9, 2015)

migles said:


> like, water is conductive, so electrik is 2x
> metal is suposed to be super conductive and electric makes half damage?


Flying should be resistant as it's not grounded. Ground type should be weak to electric as it's grounded. It's flowing electricity that does damage, and it requires a ground to flow. That's not even getting into how games and comics have electricity fly around like it does, as it should just go to the nearest ground, not twenty meters to hit their target. Not without some weird ability that allows them to directly control the electricity after they release it, more along the line of some telekinetic ability.


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## Hungry Friend (Jun 15, 2015)

When I shoot an MGS3 boss 3 times and knock his dumb ass down, he magically becomes invincible for a moment and is allowed to counterattack me, especially a certain old fart who enjoys using stun grenades and another douche who just loves blasting me with a flamethrower. Basically, once you knock a boss down, get outta the way and hit the deck.

oh and also bosses can can like 20 tranq darts before getting stoned & succumbing


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## SammyPoke (Jun 29, 2015)

*1-*You can go randomly into tall grass and get free RUPEES.
*2-*If you die you come back to life.
*3-*Everyone seems to want your help and you're the only one who can do it.
*4-*Your girlfriend is completely helpless and hasn't taken a self defense course to save her life, hence she always gets trapped in a dungeon and you have to go off and save her.
*5-*Your small bag can apparently carry 99x Potions, Pokeballs, Elixers, *Furniture Pieces*, Magical Items, yet apparently you don't have to worry about carrying food when going on your adventure cause everything else is far more important.


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## keven3477 (Jun 29, 2015)

Making a witness or suspect repeat the same lines over and over again without having your credibility questioned in court.


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## randnet (Jul 1, 2015)

Zero fall damage when you fall from a great height


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## HaloEffect17 (Jul 2, 2015)

Wii Fit/Wii Fit U: An electronic balance board informing you that it hasn't seen you in 492 days.


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## Deboog (Jul 3, 2015)

The entire world is at stake and the shop keeper still charges me for armor.


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## Pleng (Jul 3, 2015)

On receiving a "no" answer to the question "Do you understand?" the standard response is to make no effort to further explain the situation, rather simply repeat the exact same thing you just said in the hope that second time around you'll suddenly get it.


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## Veho (Jul 6, 2016)




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## DinohScene (Jul 6, 2016)

In GTA SA (HD version confirmed) the officer in the small booth next to the police station in Pershing Square, requests back up via his pistol.
After that he flees and bumps several times into the walls of the police station.

Idk if it's logic (requesting backup via your pistol and running off) or not but felt like sharing.


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## MionissNio (Jul 6, 2016)

Crashing a car on a tree doesn't break it. - GTA.

Apparently you can sit on clouds and gravity doesn't even effect you - Mario

Skeletons do not know what humans look like despite being human Skeletons- Undertale.


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## Ricken (Jul 6, 2016)

A ton of COD stuffs


Spoiler: Stuffs


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## UltraDolphinRevolution (Oct 7, 2019)

So I was playing the snow temple in Zelda Twilight Princess yesterday (one of the best in the series btw) and realized soemthing odd:
Link has to get the canon balls from room to room and instead just leaving the door open, he has put the ball in a special scoop, go through the door and activate in on the other side to finally get the ball.


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