# Seriously, what the hell....



## Nujui (Feb 1, 2011)

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=16536

Just read it.


----------



## machomuu (Feb 1, 2011)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Also, she might be able to spare that poor man prison time if she doesn't cry [censored].



_*WHAT THE F****_
What the _*F****_ is wrong with them  
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 !?


----------



## Hakoda (Feb 1, 2011)

I think the Bible needs a firmware update to accommodate for the new [censored] AP set up by life.

EDIt: censored is just the r word mentioned in the post.


----------



## Velotix (Feb 1, 2011)

This....Is some sort of Troll esque forum right? RIGHT?!?!


----------



## The Catboy (Feb 1, 2011)

My word!


----------



## Fudge (Feb 1, 2011)

machomuu said:
			
		

> QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## machomuu (Feb 1, 2011)

Hakoda said:
			
		

> I think the Bible needs a firmware update to accommodate for the new [censored] AP set up by life.


----------



## monkat (Feb 1, 2011)

It's...a joke. Srsly guys. Way to be trolled.


----------



## GameWinner (Feb 1, 2011)

Hakoda said:
			
		

> I think the Bible needs a firmware update to accommodate for the new [censored] AP set up by life.


And it needs that update pronto


----------



## Nujui (Feb 1, 2011)

I know monkat. This is a troll site, but still, I don't understand.....why people would put out crap like that?


----------



## Pyrmon (Feb 1, 2011)

monkat said:
			
		

> It's...a joke. Srsly guys. Way to be trolled.


I seriously hope it's a joke. It does seem to be from a bunch of trolls.


----------



## ineap09 (Feb 1, 2011)

monkat said:
			
		

> It's...a joke. Srsly guys. Way to be trolled.


I certainly hope so! That crap's insane! O_O


----------



## antwill (Feb 1, 2011)

Sheaperd121 said:
			
		

> I know monkat. This is a troll site, but still, I don't understand.....why people would put out crap like that?


Because they're mocking the Westboro Baptist Church by making their site seem almost identical to their way of thinking. It's satire, people find it funny and enjoy going there for a laugh...


----------



## iMythD (Feb 1, 2011)

That's horrible...


----------



## machomuu (Feb 1, 2011)

antwill said:
			
		

> Sheaperd121 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's a really twisted type of humor  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 .


----------



## Goli (Feb 1, 2011)

You should read the rest of the topic. Is it really a joke? I have doubts myself, if it was would it have spawned a 296 page long debate? also:


			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> That would be masturbation and it's a sin.


http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showpost.ph...;postcount=2954
You're all going to hell.


----------



## Nujui (Feb 1, 2011)

machomuu said:
			
		

> antwill said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah, I don't find this very funny.


----------



## Nujui (Feb 1, 2011)

Goli said:
			
		

> You should read the rest of the topic. Is it really a joke? I have doubts myself, if it was would it have spawned a 296 page long debate? also:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You should see the crap that they talked about Angry Birds.


----------



## Nathan Drake (Feb 1, 2011)

If you take any offense, congrats.

You just got trolled.


----------



## Nujui (Feb 1, 2011)

Nathan Drake said:
			
		

> If you take any offense, congrats.
> 
> You just got trolled.




I knew that when I read some of the other threads on there. Though still, I don't see why a troll would post such a thing.


----------



## ineap09 (Feb 1, 2011)

Goli said:
			
		

> You should read the rest of the topic. Is it really a joke? I have doubts myself, if it was would it have spawned a 296 page long debate? also:
> 
> 
> 
> ...








I'm also having doubts whether it's a joke or not. Mainly 'cause I've met some pretty crazy-crap Christians...


----------



## _Chaz_ (Feb 1, 2011)

Okay, that is fucking gold. GOLD I SAY!


I would love to corner a religious nut with this.


----------



## CarbonX13 (Feb 1, 2011)

I'm more glad than ever that I'm a Buddhist.


----------



## Nathan Drake (Feb 1, 2011)

Sheaperd121 said:
			
		

> Nathan Drake said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You've never been on the internet before, have you?


----------



## Nujui (Feb 1, 2011)

Nathan Drake said:
			
		

> Sheaperd121 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh I have, I've just never seen anything like this before.


----------



## SickPuppy (Feb 1, 2011)

Sheaperd121 said:
			
		

> http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=16536
> 
> Just read it.



WOW, there's a lot of drama at that forum, almost as much as here.


----------



## Fireballo (Feb 1, 2011)

Seriously this is the best thing I've ever read! If you don't get the joke you're pretty dim witted. Stupid and politically correct is such an annoying combination.


----------



## Evo.lve (Feb 1, 2011)

machomuu said:
			
		

> QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It IS obviously a joke, but still fucking retarded.


----------



## Sterling (Feb 1, 2011)

A Gay Little Catboy said:
			
		

> My word!


No, correction. Its God's word. Hehe.


----------



## Evo.lve (Feb 1, 2011)

I'm starting to love that forum.

Too fucking funny.


----------



## DrOctapu (Feb 1, 2011)

Well, Christians, it's in your bible.


----------



## trumpet-205 (Feb 1, 2011)

That is why I don't read the bible. (No offense to those who practice religion).


----------



## machomuu (Feb 1, 2011)

It's for this reason I don't have a set religion (I have a belief, though, but being Christian was too dramatic.)


----------



## DiscostewSM (Feb 1, 2011)

If I'm correct, according to the Bible, Jesus ended the law of Moses (as it was nailed with him on the cross), so this whole thing of marrying your sexual assaulter is null and void.


----------



## nando (Feb 1, 2011)

i'm almost sure most of those posts are a joke, but with some christians you just can't tell. those people could easily be sincere.


----------



## antwill (Feb 1, 2011)

Be enlightened people! That is the organisation the site is mocking. You know the ones who protest funerals and stuff...


----------



## Narayan (Feb 1, 2011)

ahh, the first page just pierces to my soul. i don't like pure Christians that always stick to the Bible. though our family is religious, they know i'm not. failed Religious Education 1/Theology 1 in college 3 times. was about to fail it the fourth when i transferred to a not religion based school. tee-hee


----------



## Paarish (Feb 1, 2011)

I'm quite close to registering to that site and give them a taste of my homosexual adventures


----------



## Maz7006 (Feb 1, 2011)

lol ?


----------



## FireGrey (Feb 1, 2011)

wtf that girl is an idiot


----------



## steveo1978 (Feb 1, 2011)

If its a joke or not those people are idiots. That verse they quoted basically means if you go next door and are banging your neighbors daughter and get caught  then you owe her dad some cash and you are required to marry her. If you wanna basically break it down if the girl wont a virgin you do not have to do anything and also do not get caught fucking the neighbors daughter. Another thing that makes them look like idiots is the fact that the bible says "judge not less ye be judged first" and they are passing judgement. One person there even said [censored] is not a sin just shows inbreeding is common with the members on that forum. A rapist is lusting after the person they [censored] and lust is one of the seven deadly sins.


I hope that people do not read this and think all Christians are this way are that they bible condones crap like that. Hell one verse in the bible says something like its better to plant their seed in the belly off a whore they to masturbate.


----------



## Depravo (Feb 1, 2011)

steveo1978 said:
			
		

> I hope that people do not read this and think all Christians are this way are that they bible condones crap like that.


But surely if you're a believer you have to believe it all, lock, stock and barrel? You can't just cherry pick the most palatable parts and ignore the rest.


----------



## MasterM (Feb 1, 2011)

Religion + stupid people = even more stupidity.


----------



## TheTwoR's (Feb 1, 2011)

This thread is so retarded.


----------



## steveo1978 (Feb 1, 2011)

Depravo said:
			
		

> steveo1978 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




What I meant was most Christians do not take stuff from the bible and twist it around like that site had done.


----------



## Depravo (Feb 1, 2011)

steveo1978 said:
			
		

> Depravo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


But they haven't twisted it, quite the opposite. The site is taking literalness to a ludicrous extreme. Herein lies the humour.


----------



## Law (Feb 1, 2011)

Depravo said:
			
		

> steveo1978 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You'd be surprised at the number of muslims who pick and choose sections of the Qur'an to ignore.

I'd be surprised if it wasn't the same when it came to Christianity.


----------



## Depravo (Feb 1, 2011)

Law said:
			
		

> Depravo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Which is where religion loses a lot of it's credibility.


----------



## Foie (Feb 1, 2011)

I can't believe people actually believe that site is real.  If you actually dig a bit deeper you'll find that the entire forum is a mockery of the extreme southern baptist churches.


----------



## RNorthex (Feb 1, 2011)

i was a christian, now 101% atheist with pure philosophic aspects and i know that not even the christians are this dumb as much as the religion sound illogical
religion makes stupid ppl, yes, i totally agree, but also law
there are laws in some countries where you have to be "forced to do -that-" before you are 18 or you will be sentenced to death
and there are men who officially apply to this job

want to hear more stupidity?
this just barely made my jaw open for the rest of the day
even if it's a mockery, it's not far from the truth at some religions and countries


----------



## ineap09 (Feb 1, 2011)

Depravo said:
			
		

> steveo1978 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I do believe it all to be true. Do I believe a woman should be forced to marry her rapist? No. Those laws were for a specific time, and for a specific culture. It's there as a history lesson to show us how the law had been in the past. The law changed when the time and culture changed. 

It's very possible that the old law was the best law they could have in that old culture. It isn't now obviously though.


----------



## KingdomBlade (Feb 1, 2011)

I can't believe there are some people actually taking this seriously.



			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> The Landover Baptist Church is a *fictional *Baptist church based in the fictional town of Freehold, Iowa. The Landover Baptist web site and its associated Landoverbaptist.net Forum are a *satire* of fundamentalist Christianity and the Religious Right in the United States.
> 
> The site was created by Chris Harper, who obtained his Master's Degree in English Literature from George Mason University in 1993 after being expelled from Liberty University (founded by Jerry Falwell) in 1989 for producing a* satirical* radio show which Liberty's administration found offensive. Harper frequently appears at *atheist* conventions playing the character of "Pastor Deacon Fred Smith". The website is owned by a company called Americhrist, Ltd.



It is a joke. People, please stop taking it seriously. It is a joke. It was actually kinda funny. People overreact to much.


----------



## Depravo (Feb 1, 2011)

KingdomBlade said:
			
		

> I can't believe there are some people actually taking this seriously.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yes, but the piece of Scripture is *genuine*. This is what we were discussing.


----------



## Sterling (Feb 1, 2011)

ineap09 said:
			
		

> Depravo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Also, the Bible cannot be updated through flashing.


----------



## KingdomBlade (Feb 1, 2011)

Depravo said:
			
		

> KingdomBlade said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I have no idea if that's true, but I dunno really. I'm agnostic really, but it's actually quite interesting.


----------



## Multiskin (Feb 1, 2011)

and again... "that is one of the reason that i am agnostic"


----------



## Jasper07 (Feb 1, 2011)

I think this is sick.
the people actually believe they are doing the right thing, for example:


			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Those people must have been locked away from society with a bible as their best friend.
oh and btw I'm a christian


----------



## ineap09 (Feb 1, 2011)

Jasper07 said:
			
		

> I think this is sick.
> the people actually believe they are doing the right thing, for example:
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Ikki (Feb 1, 2011)

Come on, you can see it's a joke from a mile away.


----------



## antwill (Feb 2, 2011)

"You wouldn't cook without a cook book, and I think it's understood you can't be good without a good book."

All you people saying "but most don't take the bible so seriously," what do you think of the westboro baptist churches funeral protests?


----------



## DiscostewSM (Feb 2, 2011)

While that place is a joke, the person going by "scripture" focused on only one part, and threw out the rest to say some point about how the sexual assaulter has some right. Isn't that what most people do when reading a book? Skip the parts they don't care about and go straight to what interests them? I've already made my claim about that law being thrown out by using the later "scriptures", and even ineap09 points out that it was in place for that period in time.


----------



## Vidboy10 (Feb 2, 2011)

The sad thing is that THIS isn't a joke forum.

http://www.stormfront.org/forum/


----------



## nando (Feb 2, 2011)

the internet can truly be a frightening place but quite frankly i find the Landover Baptist Church more frightening than the stormfront


----------



## ZAFDeltaForce (Feb 2, 2011)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



This.... Is.....

EPIC


----------



## Aeladya (Feb 2, 2011)

Trust me, this is a troll site. I know because I thought it was real when I first read it. Took me a few minutes to realize they were just trollin'.


----------



## GundamXXX (Feb 2, 2011)

Aeladya said:
			
		

> Trust me, this is a troll site. I know because I thought it was real when I first read it. Took me a few minutes to realize they were just trollin'.


Worst thing is, people probably think like this lol


----------



## Sterling (Feb 2, 2011)

GundamXXX said:
			
		

> Aeladya said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'll admit, I've seen a few nuts in my time. The fact that they take the literal to the extreme (they only do it to be satirical) puts them in the just another zealot category. However the church that these people are making fun of, are absolute nuts to the max.


----------



## boktor666 (Feb 2, 2011)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptists

Lol people believe this shit
No this forum, idk if its trolling or not, most people do, but i think its really meant for Baptists. Those F***s.


----------



## Jasper07 (Feb 2, 2011)

haha I thought it was real I was like wtf how can you live with yourself haha.


----------



## famousginni (Feb 2, 2011)

Ok.... if all this is fake and no one really gives a crap about this.... I'm good with that.... BUT if all this is real and people do obey these rules.... well I better stay inside my house... and lock the doors..

Anyways. I'm off to play Angry Birds


----------



## ShadowSoldier (Feb 2, 2011)

Sheaperd121 said:
			
		

> I know monkat. This is a troll site, but still, I don't understand.....why people would put out crap like that?



To troll people.


----------



## Dter ic (Feb 2, 2011)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> CHRISTIAN KIDS WANT TO KNOW:
> Did Men in Bible Times Really Have Balls as Big as a Donkey's?
> 
> ...ok, if this was asked by kids, then what does this mean?
> ...






			
				boktor666 said:
			
		

> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptists
> 
> Lol people believe this shit
> No this forum, idk if its trolling or not, most people do, but i think its really meant for Baptists. Those F***s.




yes dude, i believe this shit of yours....


----------



## junkerde (Feb 2, 2011)

what the "hell" indeed for burning in hell indeed. obvious troll obviously.


----------



## sonknuck23 (Feb 2, 2011)

You guys need to read this: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=60


EDIT: btw; a quick bit of research, apparently it's all a big joke. I figured once I read the thread I posted above. .


----------



## stanleyopar2000 (Feb 2, 2011)

...teh fuack???


----------



## pocchama1996 (Feb 2, 2011)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Why is it that all the Negras I've ever sen are always good at running?
> My Pa-pa always told me it was because all the slow Negras were in Jail.
> Is this true?



Gotta say this made me lol a bit.


----------



## DryYoshi (Feb 2, 2011)

If this is a joke, hahahahahahahahaahaha 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




[/sarcasmic laughter]

Anyway, if real:
1. Don't marry a r***st, I mean it's a r***st!
2. Get an abortion and get it over with lol


----------



## Oveneise (Feb 2, 2011)

... How did you FIND this?!


----------



## Nujui (Feb 2, 2011)

Oveneise said:
			
		

> ... How did you FIND this?!


Are you asking me how I found this?


----------



## Oveneise (Feb 2, 2011)

Sheaperd121 said:
			
		

> Oveneise said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That would indeed be the question I am asking.


----------



## BlueStar (Feb 2, 2011)

I thought people stopped being taken in by sites like The Onion and Landover Baptist round about 2002?


----------



## Fireballo (Feb 2, 2011)

I think that girl has an obligation to marry that man. In my family if she refused the men of the family would be obligated to commit an honor killing. By Allah that little trollop should not have been without a male family member escorting her in the first place. She was obviously looking to debouch herself with that young man and should be scourged regardless.


----------



## Evo.lve (Feb 2, 2011)

Fireballo said:
			
		

> I think that girl has an obligation to marry that man. In my family if she refused the men of the family would be obligated to commit an honor killing. By Allah that little trollop should not have been without a male family member escorting her in the first place. She was obviously looking to debouch herself with that young man and should be scourged regardless.



...


----------



## Nujui (Feb 2, 2011)

Oveneise said:
			
		

> Sheaperd121 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I found it in this thread. http://gbatemp.net/t277215-read-this


----------



## pocchama1996 (Feb 2, 2011)

And I found it on reddit.


----------



## Uncle FEFL (Feb 3, 2011)

DryYoshi said:
			
		

> If this is a joke, hahahahahahahahaahaha
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You can't say rapist, but you can say abortion? They're just words, man. Fuck, shit, bitch, tits, rapist, tastiest, anal, oral.


----------



## omgpwn666 (Feb 3, 2011)

Wow, all the people in that topic are weird. I blame the site.


----------



## machomuu (Feb 3, 2011)

pocchama1996 said:
			
		

> QUOTE said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


...did they just call me a Negra?  I prefer African-American or Super Special Awesome Track Star 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.


----------



## pozda (Feb 3, 2011)

I think that the main problems is that she doesn't have 50 Shekels! 

XD


----------



## SmokeFox (Feb 3, 2011)

LOL, Lets call Dexter for him.


----------



## TrolleyDave (Feb 3, 2011)

BlueStar said:
			
		

> I thought people stopped being taken in by sites like The Onion and Landover Baptist round about 2002?



Nope.  I was on the bus to work the other morning and some kids were talking about that fake article about Zuckerberg shutting down Facebook because it had all become too much.  I told them it was a joke article but they wouldn't have none of it.


----------



## dinofan01 (Feb 3, 2011)

Sheaperd121 said:
			
		

> Oveneise said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


so you blatantly reposted it?..... Is someone desperate for posts?


----------



## Nujui (Feb 3, 2011)

dinofan01 said:
			
		

> Sheaperd121 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No, I'm not desperate for post. I just found it on that thread and look around the site and found this.


----------



## machomuu (Feb 3, 2011)

dinofan01 said:
			
		

> Sheaperd121 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No, they're different topics.


----------



## Nujui (Feb 3, 2011)

machomuu said:
			
		

> dinofan01 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That's what they are. This one is about the rapist thing, and the other is about Oblivion.


----------

