# A restraining order is just a "piece of paper" or not?



## Marc_LFD (Feb 17, 2022)

It seems that it just is and that doesn't magically make an abuser/attacker stay away from the victim. Isn't this like a false sense of protection..?


----------



## djpannda (Feb 17, 2022)

Marc_78065 said:


> It seems that it just is and that doesn't magically make an abuser/attacker stay away from the victim. Isn't this like a false sense of protection..?


...no mean no...


----------



## The Real Jdbye (Feb 17, 2022)

Marc_78065 said:


> It seems that it just is and that doesn't magically make an abuser/attacker stay away from the victim. Isn't this like a false sense of protection..?


Seems to mostly be a way to make it easier for law enforcement to take action if the abuser continues.


----------



## Veho (Feb 17, 2022)

Aren't all laws and legal documents just "pieces of paper"? Nothing in them _"protects_" you from anything. They are all enforced after the fact.


----------



## Marc_LFD (Feb 17, 2022)

The Real Jdbye said:


> Seems to mostly be a way to make it easier for law enforcement to take action if the abuser continues.


That's good.



djpannda said:


> ...no mean no...


They obviously don't care about that until the cops stop him/her from harassing (or worse) the victim.


----------



## lembi2001 (Feb 17, 2022)

No it's not just "a piece of paper". A restraining order is a written and recorded legal instruction. If it is ignored the perpetrator faces prison time.


----------



## Lostbhoy (Feb 17, 2022)

Lol.... Have you gotten one?? 

Everything is a peice of paper or a digital file and is only as dangerous as an authority wants to take it. Wether that authority is legal or not, if someone can and wants to pursue it's purpose then it's highly effective.


----------



## brickmii82 (Feb 17, 2022)

Civilization itself is even more tenuous. An unspoken agreement to be "civil"... 

Shouldn't stop you from doing it if you think you need it, and should stop you if you're thinking of ignoring it.


----------



## Marc_LFD (Feb 17, 2022)

Lostbhoy said:


> Lol.... Have you gotten one??
> 
> Everything is a peice of paper or a digital file and is only as dangerous as an authority wants to take it. Wether that authority is legal or not, if someone can and wants to pursue it's purpose then it's highly effective.


No, I was thinking my sister could get one due to her junkie boyfriend (or whatever he is to her), but he wouldn't care. That asshole once tried to punch me (to make sure he'd get out of our house without causing damage to anyone) and since then I've never seen that scum again. He was also banned from ever stepping in.


----------



## Lostbhoy (Feb 17, 2022)

My apologies if I offended with that, I stupidly assumed your were asking generally. 

You are sort of correct in your thinking as it depends on how unscrupulous the individual is. Unfortunately I have known many "people" who disregard enforcement orders. If he's a junkie smash his head in. Not the advice I would urge you to follow however I grew up in a rough part of Glasgow so we learned to deal with scumbags ourselves!


----------



## RAHelllord (Feb 17, 2022)

I am not a lawyer, but restraining orders are generally a first step to ensure a person stops harassment. While it doesn't offer protection by itself it can and will be used as precedent in case it continues. If the order is violated prison time will be pretty much guaranteed. Check local laws for more details, and an attorney specializing in that will have an overview somewhere on their website on what to expect how it will be enforced, what it costs, etc for your local area.


----------



## Xzi (Feb 18, 2022)

Veho said:


> Aren't all laws and legal documents just "pieces of paper"? Nothing in them _"protects_" you from anything. They are all enforced after the fact.


Precisely this.  Never forget that police don't prevent crime, they only respond to it.


----------



## Taleweaver (Feb 18, 2022)

Marc_78065 said:


> No, I was thinking my sister could get one due to her junkie boyfriend (or whatever he is to her), but he wouldn't care. That asshole once tried to punch me (to make sure he'd get out of our house without causing damage to anyone) and since then I've never seen that scum again. He was also banned from ever stepping in.


Devil's advocate for a second : just HOW was he banned, exactly? That's just words, isn't it?  That doesn't mean it doesn't work. 
Anyway : as said, it's a legally binding document that has serious consequences when broken. 

That, however, also means you don't just "could get one" when calling the police. It's the result of an investigation, really. If you've got no evidence, no credible witnesses or camera footage, the best the police can do is issue a warning, note it in a dossier and go talk to the other party. 

I inquired into it some years ago, but ended up not pressing charges. It was just too unlikely to go anywhere, and I had (and still have) just about the best proof of harassment possible. But all that for who knows how much explaining, talking, investigating, and so on, for in the end... Indeed, 'just a piece of paper'. It wouldn't be worth it.


----------



## Marc_LFD (Feb 20, 2022)

Taleweaver said:


> Devil's advocate for a second : just HOW was he banned, exactly? That's just words, isn't it?  That doesn't mean it doesn't work.
> Anyway : as said, it's a legally binding document that has serious consequences when broken.
> 
> That, however, also means you don't just "could get one" when calling the police. It's the result of an investigation, really. If you've got no evidence, no credible witnesses or camera footage, the best the police can do is issue a warning, note it in a dossier and go talk to the other party.
> ...



The moment that shitbag tried to punch me (he already harassed another sister of mine) was the breaking point. I'm a calm, pacifist guy, but there's a limit to everything.


----------



## Taleweaver (Feb 20, 2022)

Marc_78065 said:


> The moment that shitbag tried to punch me (he already harassed another sister of mine) was the breaking point. I'm a calm, pacifist guy, but there's a limit to everything.


Not really the answer i was expecting to my post, but that's okay. You're angry, and rightfully so. Being harassed physically in your own home shouldn't just be brushed off.

So why are you here, really? This isn't the local police department, and because laws and procedures might differ between countries its not a good place for real follow up either. I mean... I got my advice from a friend who's a police officer (in the same country), and it was our choice (me and my family) not to press charges. Gbatemp is great, but i don't consider them part of the influence circle where it comes to these kind of matters. So again : what do you want from us? 

If it's any comfort...
Before my best friend's gf got with him, she briefly had something with a military dude. He had issues that lead to a breakup.
He didn't take kindly that gf got with my best friend. One night he started banging on my best friend's door, to the point of breaking it.
Police got involved. Military dude denied the incident. But there were witnesses (neighbors). So he got forced (even removed from the military by force, so I've heard).
It doesn't really reduce the mental scar (friend was shaken by the incident, and gf understandably much more than that), but at least it passed.
I should check up on how it is with them now, but iirc he at least got a restraining order and had to pay for damages. Probably more than that, but that's all I know at this point.


----------

