# Help me deal with my breakup



## cherryduck (May 22, 2008)

Hello everyone, I've just come out of a two and a half year relationship, and she was my first love so I'm crushed. Trying to listen to music, it seems every song is about love or breaking up, my phone is filled with pics and videos of her and my computer is filled with more pics and videos, from right when we started going out when she was 15 and I was 16. I can't play Super Mario World anymore because she loved it and always played it, the shelf above my bed is filled with cards and presents from her, everywhere I look there's memories and mementos. And yet, it gets more complicated, because she still wants to be friends and have sex, and I'd love the sex obviously but I don't think I could keep myself emotionally detached, and if she found someone else I know I would be madly jealous. Please help me out of this mess! Or at least give me some comforting or wise words...


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## Urza (May 22, 2008)

Play horror-based video games. Replacing one emotion with another is easier than simply trying to get rid of it (fear in this case).


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## Opium (May 22, 2008)

cherryduck said:
			
		

> Hello everyone, I've just come out of a two and a half year relationship, and she was my first love so I'm crushed. Trying to listen to music, it seems every song is about love or breaking up, my phone is filled with pics and videos of her and my computer is filled with more pics and videos, from right when we started going out when she was 15 and I was 16. I can't play Super Mario World anymore because she loved it and always played it, the shelf above my bed is filled with cards and presents from her, everywhere I look there's memories and mementos. And yet, it gets more complicated, because *she still wants to be friends and have sex*, and I'd love the sex obviously but I don't think I could keep myself emotionally detached, and if she found someone else I know I would be madly jealous. Please help me out of this mess! Or at least give me some comforting or wise words...



Okay there are two alternatives here:

1. You guys are too young/immature/not ready for a proper relationship. So don't worry yourself too much about it. You have many many years ahead of you to live and explore and perhaps meet to right one for you.
2. She breaks up with you. Still wants to be friends AND have sex with you? Cue the time you should run away if you're looking for a proper relationship.


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## Deleted member 110780 (May 22, 2008)

I wouldn't consider this a break-up, more of a downgrade(or upgrade for some of you out there XD). If she doesn't want a serious relationship, then that's that. You're both eligible for other people but you still have casual sex/you're friends with benefits. Sex doesn't always have to be emotional, and as you go grow up you'll find that you're not the only one having sex with your friends. It's really common for friends to do this, especially in college, but don't expect it.

You're young and you need more experience out there in the world. Who knows? This may or may not be love. Not even the love you're wanting it to be. There are tons of different kinds of love out there, and it's easy to get confused.


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## Joujoudoll (May 22, 2008)

Why is it men give the worse advice? 

Don't have casual sex with her, that's just going to cause more pain and suffering... 

I think you should take some time away and think about things... If you want to stay in contact, keep it short at first and give yourself time to heal. Get rid of all the things she gave you, or at least put it away somewhere, where you'll forget about it for a while.

I was engaged for 2 years and my ex was cheating on me with other women... I hated him for that, but at the same time, I loved him unconditionally and I was ready to marry him. It's so hard and it took me about 2 1/2 years to get over him. I've only been over him for about a year now. 

It's not easy, it takes time, and right now you probably feel like this pain will never go away, but it does. 

Each person is different, so it might take you less time or more time, I don't know. 

Try to do things that keep your mind occupied.

I hope you will be okay, and you'll be able to heal and get over her eventually.


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## silverspoon (May 22, 2008)

.


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## Dylan (May 22, 2008)

play some JUS wifi with us tonight. go to general chat in wifi subforum


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## jalaneme (May 22, 2008)

Joujoudoll said:
			
		

> Why is it men give the worse advice?
> 
> Don't have casual sex with her, that's just going to cause more pain and suffering...
> 
> ...



listen to this girl man, she speaks the truth, i know how it feels when it comes to breakups, i've recently come out of a 3 year relationship and it was hard for me to break up with him, even though he was treating me like a real sleaze.

trust me being single ain't that bad, having casual sex after a long term relationship will mess with both of your minds emotionally and will leave very bad memories after, just don't do it.


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## laminaatplaat (May 22, 2008)

I wouldnt go for the half-assed solution, so don't be "just friends" and have casual sex. Maybe the best way to make it obvious enough for her to see is just to tell you that you dont want to see her anymore. Maybe she comes to the conclusion that thats aint what she wanted at all. I can see how this could be a problem when you share the same friendsgroup.

And ofcourse get a box to put all the stuff in and backup the computer files.

Goodluck anyway!


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## Mikesch (May 22, 2008)

The way I see it...she gave you a real hard slap in the face when she said "I don't want a relationship with you, but your good enough to get off on." (Only in this circumstance tho 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





) It's like saying your mind and being are absolutly useless to her, but the cock is all she craves.

Box up every last picture, gift, memento, and computer document you have. I've been there.  You'll do a mass sweep, and every now and then something will poke out that you forgot.

Judging by your story this leaves your age around...18 and a half? 19?  For most males this is their 'prime years'.  Great time to be single.  Make dew with that, enjoy being single while you can.

Overall your getting a lot of people saying 'Let it go'.  Being friends is healthy, and sometimes hard work...but I'd recommend at least 2-3 months of not seeing her first...give you some heal time you know?  She definately shouldn't be your #1 chum to hang out with at the moment 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.

And lastly, I recommend getting over this 'Super Mario World' thing.  You make it sound like she's the only one in the world who likes this game...when it sold the most SNES games overall. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




It's cliche...but...Time heals buddy.


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## crescentsaber (May 22, 2008)

but.... I love Super Mario World too.... =(

anyways what most of the ppl said here is basically the way to go, ok lets put them into a few steps - that would make it easier for you hey ? Do this step by step and you'll get over her before you know it.

01. Try not to see her or at least decrease the frequency. Try to hang out with your friends ( they might be scarce after a 2,5 yrs relationship but hey.. meeting new ppl is also an alternative )

02. Get a job. If you have one, get another one. Keep yourself busy. Ok, playing games is another form of getting yourself busy, but you dont' make money that way. Working part time or even casual is the best way to get your mind off things AND get your wallet filled at the same time.

03. No casual sex. Trust me. I've been there, I've done that,  and if I'm given a chance to undo that I would love that very much. If you're thinking that by keep having casual sex with her, there might be a chance to get her back in your arms, ditch that thought. I have the exact way of thinking and trust me - doesnt work that way. If you're really, really, really, really REALLY horny, go download porn. You might even know yourself better in terms or preferences (e.g asian brunette blonde etc )

04. Box her stuff and presents, but keep one, LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, just ONE thing that is very significant for both of you. If you're doing step 1, 2 & 3 correctly, in a few weeks you will find this memento is not as significant as it used to be anymore. When you do, thats the first step of getting over someone !

phew.

hope that helps hey ? Breaking up sucks, but not being able to get over someone sucks even more. It blinds you, yo' , from all the good things ( and all the good chicks ) out there.

Trust me, words from someone who've been cheated on 5 times with 5 different guys by the same girl is absolute.


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## feds4u (May 22, 2008)

Holy shit Lad get a hold of yourself.

You are 18, possibly 19.  Do you know how many women you will poke before the age of 30?

And you haven't even found the Woman you'll mary.  She's still out there somewhere.  Or let me guess, you actually thought you'd mary some little bird you met when she was 15. I hope that's not what you were thinking, because if you were, I'm giving you a bitch slap with the power of my mind. 

It looks something like this:






Here's my advice. Its going to sting like a slap in the face but its also the best advice you'll receive in this thread.  

*1. Make a clean break of it.*  By offering you sex this bitch is just leading you around by the nose.  You're a man.  Get it?  No one should lead like a dog.  Sex isn't a scooby snack. Some women like to use it as a reward when they want to control a gulible, weak willed man.  By offering you the "friends with benfits package" she's just hoping to keep you around as a safety blanket, or if she needs something.  Basically she's unsure she wants to break up with you or she's using you. (Or Both) Neither situation is good.  You don't need her pussy, there's plenty more where that came from.

*2. Get rid of the crap. * You don't have to throw your mementos away, but at least get them out of your site. 

*2. Lastly be a Man goddamnit.*  Stop whining about some teenage break up and start living your wonderful and glorious life.  The second you put your cock inside another women you'll forget this bitch ever existed. Trust me on that one.


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## Eternal Myst (May 22, 2008)

Play Legend of Zelda games and watch a Disney Movie.....a good one at least,and eat Reece's Peanut Butter.


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## Toni Plutonij (May 22, 2008)

Fuck, I feel sorry for you..I believe it's hard..

Listen to feds4u, he sounds little harsh, but he's got the point..That girl is leading you into something thats going to be very painful for you! And the fact that she's offering you that friend with benefits thing, means she feels cold about you, but wants to have you as a backup if she ever feels to it..

Do something you like to do to keep your mind off her, and move all of the things that remind you of her..

It'll take time, but you'll menage it..Just don't get back to her because it'll be only bad for you..My best friend was in a relationship for about four years, and the girl left him, after one year of separation she wanted to get back with him (and he just started to live a little and got over her), and he let himself into it, and than she broke up with him after another year of relationship..It just isn't worth it any more..

You're young, take advice from older members here..I'll be cheering for you.


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## cherryduck (May 22, 2008)

Thanks for all the advice people, I'm still wondering what the hell to do because now she's sent me this e-mail:

happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear paul happy birthday to you x i love you please be my boyfriend againxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, I forgot to say it's my birthday, it's not been the best of birthdays cos my parents are away so I've got an empty house to go back to after College, no presents and no real "birthday". I am 19 today, but I honestly don't have any friends because I've just been with Helena for these two and a half years. I can usually get on with people alright but actually making friends and being invited to parties, all that stuff just never happens, no matter how well I get on with someone.

Oh and she's coming round tonight to give me my card and she wants to sleep over...what the f*ck is she trying to do to my head!


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## silverspoon (May 22, 2008)

.


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## science (May 22, 2008)

Don't sleep with her. If she wants to get back together with you, make sure its for the right reasons. You don't want to be in a relationship with a girl who just wants to fuck you, because if thats all she is after, expect her to cheat on you. If you want to get back together with her, just make sure she wants to be with you, not on you.


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## cherryduck (May 22, 2008)

So do you reckon I should have her come round tonight? I'm still not sure if I should even take her back, I mean she's damn hot and everything but the reason we split up in the first place was because we had this vicious cycle, where everything would be absolutely fantastic then some major drama would happen and we'd nearly break up, then everything would be fine and then the next drama would come along...and so on so she decided we'd be better off without each other, now she reckons she loves me too much to let me go. Yet I'm worried if I take her back it's just going to go round and round...but at the same time I can't really imagine life without her. God this is all so darn complicated!


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## Anakir (May 22, 2008)

As much as you're craving for sex, I wouldn't recommend it. I can't jump to a conclusion based on a fact that I don't know both of you in person. But, I can make an assumption based on what you provided.

You don't need to be a bitch to her or anything for doing this to you, but also, make sure you don't get close either. Keep your distance if she still plans to come over. Don't get too comfortable around her. In my opinion, she's unconsciously playing with you. A breakup happened once, it can happen again, except usually there's a bigger chance of a break up after the first. Unless, you two can get to the point where you're crazy for each other again.

Don't let her boss you around. Do what you want to do.

I have things I got from my ex (pictures, gifts, letters, etc) in boxes. It took me a while to even remove them from my room, but I eventually did it. I still can't forget about her though.. but I would recommend that you don't see her as well. It helps. It might be painful at first, but you can decide. Do you want to take the chance and get back together, or suffer even more after another break up? It's a gamble here. 

When me and my ex were on bad terms, I suggested a break not to see each other. After a week, we'll decide if we want to get back together or not. After that week came, I just said I don't want to continue anymore. I don't think its worth going through the pain. Apparently, 2 weeks later.. I found out that she actually wanted to get back together but she didn't say anything because I already jumped to a conclusion of breaking up. I was really hurt too because I knew I could've continued, but I'm glad that I didn't now.

It's a phase, you may hurt now and maybe a for a few more months, but you will get over it.

You've dated once, you can date again. It's not the end.

And by the way, happy birthday.


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## cherryduck (May 22, 2008)

We've actually tried the "week off" idea several times. I think maybe me and her need a real good talk tonight, definitely NO sex and I don't think she should sleep over. Keep pitching in with your advice, if you can, its very much appreciated, thanks for all the support guys (and girls) and thanks for the happy birthday shout outs! Wish all of you from GBAtemp could come over and celebrate my birthday with me! I love this forum I can chat about almost anything and know I'll get mature sensible comments, cheers everyone.


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## RayorDragonFall (May 22, 2008)

cherryduck said:
			
		

> So do you reckon I should have her come round tonight? I'm still not sure if I should even take her back, I mean she's damn hot and everything but the reason we split up in the first place was because we had this vicious cycle, where everything would be absolutely fantastic then some major drama would happen and we'd nearly break up, then everything would be fine and then the next drama would come along...and so on so she decided we'd be better off without each other, now she reckons she loves me too much to let me go. Yet I'm worried if I take her back it's just going to go round and round...but at the same time I can't really imagine life without her. God this is all so darn complicated!



Get away, fast!
That happened to me, it was like instead of having a relationship it was some sort of disease. It seriously was that bad. 
If it's just pain over and over, even though you might think she's perfect, it's probably the time to cut off. I thought she was, and what I got out of that was pain and the feeling that I was "wasting away".

Make it clear you don't think what she's doing is fine, and maybe she might think twice. Even still, you should try like a month break even if you decide to get back with her, just to see how things are going and to be able to think clearly on your own.

Edit: Didn't see your post, sorry, lol. And happy Bday


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## crescentsaber (May 22, 2008)

NO sex tonight then ? 

I think I can speak for everyone else that we're rooting for you bro, i know its the hardest thing in the world for a guy to do to reject a girl who literally giving herself to you in a physical way, but hang on there !

BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! =D
You deserve a change for the better in your life for your birthday present this year =) make it count !


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## cherryduck (May 22, 2008)

Jesus, she's over here right now crying in the toilet, I feel so bad and awkward, I just don't know how to act or what to say. This is SO awkward she probably shouldn't have come round, and she's bought me loads of presents. And thanks so much everyone it's really good to have you people here rooting for me.


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## bahamuta (May 22, 2008)

go to 4chan


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## jaxxster (May 22, 2008)

Any chance of fixing it? What were the reasons for breaking up? 

BTW!! get the fk off here and go cuddle her....go sit in the toilet with her, cry together, tlk man...it helps so much

sorry man, just read y u guys split....figure out what it is that made u like each other so much...stop spending so much time with her.....man im like that with my lady at the mo, i wanna break up with her cos she hurt me bad but i love her too much to let go


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## ozzyzak (May 22, 2008)

Honestly, you aren't a real man until a chick has emotionally destroyed you.  It really is a pain on an entirely different level.  Nothing physical quite equals it. 

About the pics and vids, destroy them.  Seriously, it was hard for me too.  About a year ago I got rid of all the christmas/birthday/anniversary/valentines etc cards.  Was hard, but I'm glad they're gone, same with the holiday photos we took.  They're just hard to look at.  I wish the best for her, but I couldn't be her friend.  Not for awhile anyway, maybe after we find new people.

Enough of me though....


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## The Worst (May 22, 2008)

Listen.  Friends with benefits is like the best thing EVER.  Ride that out as long as it last.  When I know that I'm gonna break up with a girl i usually prolong it for another week or so and try to have as much sex as possible and do all the dirty things I never tried with them.

About her wanting to get back together:  It could be that she was interested in someone else and broke it off to try and get with them but it didn't work out, and now she is trying to get back with you.  Who knows she could have even slept with him and found out that your much better between the sheets.  Regardless, at least she broke up with you first.  It's much worse when they do it behind your back.  The fact that she wanted to be fuck buddies means that she is ok with that sort of thing, maybe she wanted to date the other guy and he just wanted to be fuck buddies and maybe now she is trying to have both.  I wouldn't trust her.  But i don't trust any of them.


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## Joujoudoll (May 22, 2008)

Men are disgusting... This is why I don't trust any man on this planet. They just want nookie. Shame on you all!


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## Anakir (May 22, 2008)

Joujoudoll said:
			
		

> Men are disgusting... This is why I don't trust any man on this planet. They just want nookie. Shame on you all!



If you have only seen one pink crow in your life, does that conclude all crows are pink?

Men are just men, most of us have common needs, but we still differ from one another. You gotta be more specific.


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## Dingler (May 22, 2008)

... Starring cherryduck AS "Obvious troll!"


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## science (May 22, 2008)

Joujoudoll said:
			
		

> Men are disgusting... This is why I don't trust any man on this planet. They just want nookie. Shame on you all!



She was the one who said she wanted to continue having sex. This is why I hate ultra feminist women. They always assume men are causing the shit, its never the women


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## Joujoudoll (May 22, 2008)

I know women cause problems... I was talking about "The Worst". He said before he breaks up with a girl he will prolong the relationship and try to get the girl to do dirty things that he had never done with her before. That's just sick. In my experience, most men are like this, but not all. I know that there are some disgusting women out there too, but usually men are more disgusting than women. I'd never try to get my boyfriend to do dirty things with me and then break up with him. That's just wrong.


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## mastermanna123 (May 22, 2008)

feds4u said:
			
		

> *1. Make a clean break of it.*  By offering you sex this bitch is just leading you around by the nose.  You're a man.  Get it?  No one should lead like a dog.  *Sex isn't a scooby snack.* Some women like to use it as a reward when they want to control a gulible, weak willed man.  By offering you the "friends with benfits package" she's just hoping to keep you around as a safety blanket, or if she needs something.  Basically she's unsure she wants to break up with you or she's using you. (Or Both) Neither situation is good.  You don't need her pussy, there's plenty more where that came from.



LMAOOOO 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	















win.


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## BoneMonkey (May 22, 2008)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXE7G2-1jhQ


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## Doomsday Forte (May 22, 2008)

ozzyzak said:
			
		

> Honestly, you aren't a real man until a chick has emotionally destroyed you.  It really is a pain on an entirely different level.  Nothing physical quite equals it.


But men don't have emotions TO destroy!1  *rolleyes*  

In response to the topic though, I would suggest as well to reduce contact with her.  Her wanting to date you right after breaking up is a big mistake, as is casual sex.  She could be acting when it comes to crying on the toilet.  ...that sounds awkward, and I'm going to ignore it.  But yeah, she might be jerking you around on purpose so as to bend you to her will.  Taking her back would probably be as bad of an idea too, since as you said you might go back to that horrible cycle, and it doesn't even sound like you guys have that strong of a relationship to begin with.  

Wanting sex after you break up?  What are you to her?  And your feelings of not living without her may not be genuine too since she might've inflicted enough damage on you to make you whipped, and that's not good either.  Judging by the cycle you mentioned, it seemed to lie mostly with her so she might've been the problem.  It's going to hurt now as do all relationships that've lasted a while, but there are more women in the world than this one.  You have to get yourself out there to see that, I guess.  

It's going to be hard but just keep a calm mind and a cool head, keep her away from you, give yourself time to recover.  Especially keep her away from you since already she's doing more and more damage and that is not recovery by any means!


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## Deleted member 110780 (May 23, 2008)

Joujoudoll said:
			
		

> Men are disgusting... This is why I don't trust any man on this planet. They just want nookie. Shame on you all!


I'd hate to break it to you, but I know quite a few girls that just want to have sex with their friends. I do agree though that men in general should not be trusted.


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## Urza (May 23, 2008)

Joujoudoll said:
			
		

> I know women cause problems... I was talking about "The Worst". He said before he breaks up with a girl he will prolong the relationship and try to get the girl to do dirty things that he had never done with her before. That's just sick. In my experience, most men are like this, but not all. I know that there are some disgusting women out there too, but usually men are more disgusting than women. I'd never try to get my boyfriend to do dirty things with me and then break up with him. That's just wrong.


And women are self-centered, manipulative, over-emotional bitchfests. 

I would trust a man over a woman _any_ day (with things not involving sex of course).


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## The Worst (May 23, 2008)

Joujoudoll said:
			
		

> I know women cause problems... I was talking about "The Worst". He said before he breaks up with a girl he will prolong the relationship and try to get the girl to do dirty things that he had never done with her before. That's just *THE WORST*. In my experience, most men are like this, but not all. I know that there are some disgusting women out there too, but usually men are more disgusting than women. I'd never try to get my boyfriend to do dirty things with me and then break up with him. That's just wrong.



FIX'D


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## SchuchWun (May 23, 2008)

cherryduck said:
			
		

> Hello everyone, I've just come out of a two and a half year relationship, and she was my first love so I'm crushed. Trying to listen to music, it seems every song is about love or breaking up, my phone is filled with pics and videos of her and my computer is filled with more pics and videos, from right when we started going out when she was 15 and I was 16. I can't play Super Mario World anymore because she loved it and always played it, the shelf above my bed is filled with cards and presents from her, everywhere I look there's memories and mementos. And yet, it gets more complicated, because she still wants to be friends and have sex, and I'd love the sex obviously but I don't think I could keep myself emotionally detached, and if she found someone else I know I would be madly jealous. Please help me out of this mess! Or at least give me some comforting or wise words...




Best advice keep busy so you don't think about her! throw out and delete all old stuff, pictures etc keep one picture as a reminder of what was (after all she was your first love). at no times should you call her ever. if you have the urge tell your self you will do it later and if you keep busy you won't even think twice about calling her. Trust me I went through a really bad break up when I was younger and even went as far as an attempt to end my life. DO NOT EVEN CONTEMPLATE THIS... SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM!!!! talk to your parents if you feel really depressed only they can help you get out of it. 


YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! 


and last but not least there are better fish in the sea! and its a big sea trust me


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## Toni Plutonij (May 23, 2008)

And what happened? Did you guys slept together? Are you back up again, or what?!

I really do hope you managed it trough night without your head exploding..


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

Ok, here's what happened last night. She came over, as did my bro and a friend, and we played Guitar Hero 3 and drank to enjoy my birthday. I wanted to chat to her and have a proper chat about everything, bring up some of the points you guys and gals have made, but she just said "we'll talk after your birthday" because she didn't want to ruin my birthday. She was supposed to be going home but her mum wouldn't allow her to travel alone at that time, so she had to stay over, and because my friend was sleeping on the couch she stayed in my bed, but we were both clothed, and on opposite sides of the bed. I asked if I could hug up to her as it would be the last chance I'd have to do so, so she let me but she drew away after a while crying again saying "I can't do it", so I apologized because I knew she was hurting. Then she started crying saying how she loves me and she can't be with anyone else, then...erm...god knows what happened but we ended up having passionate mind blowing sex, easily the best I've ever had.

Then when we woke up this morning it was all awkward again and she was very quiet, and I was too, because I still don't think we're right and I think she might have subconsciously hoped that I would get back with her after shagging. We still need the talk, but I don't know if I should leave it till we've had a couple of weeks or a month apart to talk or if we should talk asap. I wish I hadn't slept with her because it's just made things harder and made it all hurt so much more, but i couldn't help myself and she couldn't help herself. I'm in a right pickle, I feel like I should not be with her but she seems to want me so much she's like a lost little girl, and I really don't think anything will change if we get back together. She swears she can change but this has happened several times, not so dramatic and final but the whole cycle nonetheless, with her promising to change everytime. I feel I should probably make a clean cut but it's really hard to do and I'm still not sure if I want to or if it would be right. I'm gonna bring all this out in "the talk", but again I don't know if I should wait a month or so to think or talk asap.

EDIT

Never mind here's an e-mail from her, I guess that means it really is over:

hiya just want to say last night was amazing so strong umm and intense, just want you to know i love you and will always be ready if you want me as your girlfriend unless you've had sexual contact with someone else a makes me cringe, ill c you around miss you very much hope you have a more than good future im saying this meanin  i cant be friends with you its too much x

ps please keep my gifts im keeping yoursx


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## jalaneme (May 23, 2008)

lol you slept with her anyway....



			
				Urza said:
			
		

> And women are self-centered, manipulative, over-emotional bitchfests.



ouch, are you planning to stay single for the rest of your life or something? men ain't saints either you know.


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## jaxxster (May 23, 2008)

confusing email....the "waiting to be ur gf when ur ready" bit dont sound like it over....man, shes just playing mind games.

P.s. Looks like shes begging for attention


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

Now it really IS over the pain has hit me so bad, I wish everything could be the way it used to be when we first got together before the arguments and the upsets. Oh well, I'm going out on the piss tonight with some friends I plan to get hammered and forget who I am.


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## Urza (May 23, 2008)

jalaneme said:
			
		

> Urza said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That would be the optimal plan.

Or maybe I'll find a nice guy to settle down with


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## Toni Plutonij (May 23, 2008)

uffff, fuck it..lets face it, you fucked up a bit with that shagging part!!

Actually, at this point where it can't go any worst..Go for it..She said, 





			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> just want you to know i love you and will always be ready if you want me as your girlfriend..
> If you did tried over and over to fix it, and it didn't work..Why not try this one more time?!
> 
> QUOTEShe swears she can change but this has happened several times, not so dramatic and final but the whole cycle nonetheless, with her promising to change everytime.


She promised before, and she's promising it again, actually, I think you'll be always questioning what if I tried..
You came to the bleeding end, from this point there isn't really anything you can lose, you can try it once more, and if it's not going to work..Just cut it, but you might be headin' at something..


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

I think it would probably be even more painful if I went for it and it didn't work again, and we've done this over and over, what reason is there for this time to be different?


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## Toni Plutonij (May 23, 2008)

Maybe the fact that you broke up, and actually got separated (I don't know have you broke up in the past)..
If you were divided for few days, maybe she got some things together..
Look, you are hurt as hell, and can't stop thinking about her..She said she would get together if you want her..
Friends with sex thing wouldn't work..So you're facing two possibillities..
Either cut every contact with her, or try again..It's just matter of hardness level..
Will you be more hurt if you get back with her, or if you stay away from her?!Think, what would hurt more..
You're 19 years old, you're not kid anymore..Don't let her play with you, but don't do something you'll regret either!!


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

I keep changing my mind this is so difficult, I think it would probably be better for me to break off completely, but then I find myself wanting her so badly. I know how pathetic I sound, if I were reading this about someone else I'd probably tell them they need a slap and to not be so self obsessed, and that it obviously wasn't right because this stuff kept happening. Like some friends of mine, they were always falling out and breaking up and everyone could see they weren't right for each other but they kept going for it anyway, now they're finally apart and it really is for the best. It's easy if it's someone else but it's not quiet so easy when it's me actually going through it. And my next post is probably gonna be about how I need her so badly! God I really do need a slap, I feel so childish right now.


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## jalaneme (May 23, 2008)

cherryduck said:
			
		

> Oh well, I'm going out on the piss tonight with some friends I plan to get hammered and forget who I am.



i think that's the best thing you can do to get your mind off things, also try to not contact her as much as possible, i know the urge is there but just don't.


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## Toni Plutonij (May 23, 2008)

I really don't see anything childish about this..I believe it is very hard, and I see you're in pain..

But, there isn't much you can do, try to think of it as I said, what would hurt most..if you have to deal with her nonsense all the time, or if you end it right now and find yourself another one..
It's not simple, but it should be easy, one or another..and when you choose, go with that, don't think about other posibility, and after some time, you'll be OK..Breakups are always hard..But we CAN'T decide for you!!


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> But we CAN'T decide for you!!



Aww what? I thought thats what you were here for? Just kidding, but I do wish someone could take this decision away from me. I can't even decide what to have for dinner or what clothes to wear, when it comes to clothes I just grab whatever's on top of the pile.


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## Toni Plutonij (May 23, 2008)

GO to some place with many pretty girls (I mean really many, whole bunch of girls) and 





			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> just grab whatever's on top of the pile








If that's what you do best........


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## jalaneme (May 23, 2008)

if life was served to you on a plate, it wouldn't be much of a challenge would it? life is a bitch and we have to deal with it unfortunately.


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

I'll see how I feel after tonight...probably just very sick lol but going out with mates should help.


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## Toni Plutonij (May 23, 2008)

jalaneme said:
			
		

> if life was served to you on a plate, it wouldn't be much of a challenge would it? life is a bitch and we have to deal with it unfortunately.


Wow..this is very nicely said!! You made good point!


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## cherryduck (May 23, 2008)

Wow that was painful...I've just finished shifting all the pictures and videos of her onto a disc, problem is I had to look at each and every one of them to see which ones were of Helena and which ones were of other things. Cue lots of tears, and that post I said I'd make earlier...I want her back! At least I'm not rash enough to call her whenever I get emotional though, despite everything I still have enough sense to let myself calm down before I do anything stupid.

And here's the latest set of e-mails. My head and my heart are being fucked around so bad:

me:

Oh and don't worry I'm not going near anyone for a long time I don't think I ever will, this pain hurts so much, I just wish everything could be the way it used to be before the arguments and the drama and when your mum used to like me, when everything was simple and happy. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will never forget you, you have shaped me in so many ways and made me the lad I am today, I will always be grateful for that and the fantastic times we had together.

Love you.

her:

so i take it is a no then well i can understand i can be annoying so i respect what you  really want, to be honest i don't want space, i want to be your girlfriend now id feel we would get on brilliant  but if you'd rather us not then thats fine i wont beg , your the only lad for me and always will be , and if we got together i promise i wouldn't make drama ,i just wished you take me back if i knew you were making it for good that we were ending id have said no to the descion on breaking up, but from now on i will leave you alone im sorry , say bye to your family and brother ,

love youx

her again:

to be honest if you love me and cant get over me why are you refusing to go back out with me ,im willing to changed for you ive asked you out 5 times ,but i know understand that you truly don't want me just don't want to admit iti really loved you ,ive not stopped crying since it ended between as two, im going to ask you out one more time if you say no which i know you will then thats it then, so will you please go back out with me i cant live without you im miserable but i respect what you want , thanks for finishing with me nicely thoe  ,

next:

lol this is the only way i cant text you ,you don't have to rush seeing me if you don't want my baby kins that email was just emotions im not going to move on never have a great day  text me if you want to wait a month a wait or Sunday don't feel presured love ya x ps the pengiuns are having a birthday your invited tb

next:

im sorry to change my mind but my family says i should respect your space for a month so i will , i need to grow up maybe this space will do good ,i may be a totally new person lol , ill miss you i shouldn't have forced you too see me sooner and thats another thing ill change , take care babes ,i hope you get this xx c u in a months time xxx love you if you do get this, send me a email saying got it plz cus i don't want to stand you up, i may be changing my number so ill tell you when i do , i hope you get into university sorry for being a pain eek.

your best friend hellie belie (Helena)

last:

http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships...cceptingitsover , give this a whirl hunx


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## cherryduck (May 24, 2008)

Just making this post so the thread goes to the first page.


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## Bob Evil (May 24, 2008)

The more an issue is pushed upon people, the less sympathy will be forthcoming ...


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## cherryduck (May 24, 2008)

Woah sorry dude! I wasn't trying to push it and I wasn't looking for sympathy, I just wanted some advice and I thought no-one would realise there was an update unless it was on the front page.


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## Dingler (May 24, 2008)

They see me trollin...they hatin


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## dawn.wan (May 25, 2008)

take some LSD or a drink from the bar, then get behind the wheel and crash your car. or confront an alligator and let it eat you raw.


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## science (May 25, 2008)

Dingler said:
			
		

> They see me trollin...they hatin



You're the only troll I see in this thread


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## Bob Evil (May 25, 2008)

cherryduck said:
			
		

> Woah sorry dude! I wasn't trying to push it and I wasn't looking for sympathy, I just wanted some advice and I thought no-one would realise there was an update unless it was on the front page.



No need to apologise ... and I wasn't trying to be mean either ... it's just perhaps a public arena is not the best place to truly deal with private matters ...


Perception is everthing, and this topic of yours could easily be perceived as a purely attention seeking manuever ...


You have friends in real-life ... I'm sure their shoulders would be better to lean on, and their words would have more relevance for you, as they know you, and would be better able to advise ...


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## SpikeyBryan (Dec 20, 2008)

So what ended up happening? I'm curious!


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