# Affirming gender through notification titles



## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## dimmidice (Jun 12, 2017)

Or maybe just chill out and accept that people make mistakes and get over it. We don't need any function for this. Just mention it and move on.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

dimmidice said:


> Or maybe just chill out and accept that people make mistakes and get over it. We don't need any function for this. Just mention it and move on.


Making a mistake is when you have information to go on, but interpret it incorrectly. For example, seeing a girl with short hair from behind and mistaking her for a guy, or seeing a guy with long hair from behind and mistaking him for a girl. Here, there is nothing to go on. It's not a mistake, it's just taking a blind guess and guessing wrongly. Wouldn't it be nicer to give people something to go on? Less awkward for everyone?


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## dimmidice (Jun 12, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> Making a mistake is when you have information to go on, but interpret it incorrectly. For example, seeing a girl with short hair from behind and mistaking her for a guy, or seeing a guy with long hair from behind and mistaking him for a girl. Here, there is nothing to go on. It's not a mistake, it's just taking a blind guess and guessing wrongly. Wouldn't it be nicer to give people something to go on? Less awkward for everyone?


What about the profile option that explicitly says if someone's female or male?


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## Sonic Angel Knight (Jun 12, 2017)

Well my gender is set to Male. But you know, many people here set them as they please, or not at all. I just did cause it was a option to fill out and I was just being nice and filling out the info as requested. But is just me, others will do anything they feel like. Gender has been a very 'Hush hush" thing here, mostly I mean I rather avoid it since many people suddenly have blogs discussing it that turn into a bunch of things I rather not get involved with trying to make it look worst or creating enemies. (I already have enemies here i don't need more) 

It would be simple for people to just fill out if they address as male or female and people can just see it on her profile but again, people do what they want. Gender is important to some people but also not important to some people, I prefer people be honest, you don't want to share your gender is your right not to disclose that info, and if you do, just be honest about it.


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## Vipera (Jun 12, 2017)

Fuck it, I'm done. No point in staying here for longer. So long guys. Hopefully you won't turn like Tumblr.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

dimmidice said:


> What about the profile option that explicitly says if someone's female or male?


True - but then you're in the middle of typing, and you think, crap, are they male or female? And have to scroll up to wherever their post is that you're quoting (or go and do a separate search if you are just referring to someone, not quoting them). Instead of already knowing.

Anyway, it's not a big deal - just something very easy to add that most people probably wouldn't even notice. Or maybe people like it if you call them the wrong thing, and we need to facilitate that. Whatever.


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## Lucifer666 (Jun 12, 2017)

Vipera said:


> Fuck it, I'm done. No point in staying here for longer. So long guys. Hopefully you won't turn like Tumblr.


Dude if a harmless thread about a feature thats maybe kinda useless makes you rant about leaving then maybe you should


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## dimmidice (Jun 12, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> True - but then you're in the middle of typing, and you think, crap, are they male or female? And have to scroll up to wherever their post is that you're quoting (or go and do a separate search if you are just referring to someone, not quoting them). Instead of already knowing.


I'm not against it per se, but i do think it's a bit pointless. Plus it'd exclude people who don't identify as either male or female. If someone really wants people to get a good mental idea of their gender then they should just use an avatar that's their gender. 

If it said "Person has quoted you in her post" but it's a male avatar i'd still be confused really. Avatar sticks in my mind far more.


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## Aerocool (Jun 12, 2017)

Why is this such a big deal? I wouldnt give a fuck if someone misgendered me


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## Issac (Jun 12, 2017)

The only thing I'm wondering is how much it would affect the database. I mean, for every notification having to do a look up for the gender value - would that use up resources or not? 
If it wouldn't, I wouldn't mind a
"XYZ mentioned you in his/her/their post".


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## Lucifer666 (Jun 12, 2017)

I'm not for or against this feature TBH, I just think that gender is a bit irrelevant on a gaming forum where there's next to no acknowledgement of real life stuff, we're just talking about games.

Only exception is the blog section


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## Deleted User (Jun 12, 2017)

Stop pandering to idiots who get all pissy because they get called the wrong gender please. Have enough of that crap in the world already.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 12, 2017)

Vipera said:


> Fuck it, I'm done. No point in staying here for longer. So long guys. Hopefully you won't turn like Tumblr.


Bye bye, darling!

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------



dimmidice said:


> Or maybe just chill out and accept that people make mistakes and get over it. We don't need any function for this. Just mention it and move on.


^This.
To be honest, I think she is right.
There is no reason to make a fuss about it.


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## Lucifer666 (Jun 12, 2017)

StarGazerTom said:


> Stop pandering to idiots who get all pissy because they get called the wrong gender please. Have enough of that crap in the world already.


Why are you so hurt?


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## Issac (Jun 12, 2017)

If also welcome such a change on notifications like these, if someone is commenting on their own content:



 
Just writing his or her (or their if gender isn't set) would make it look better.


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## Deleted User (Jun 12, 2017)

Lucifer666 said:


> Why are you so hurt?


Because this gender politics bullshit needs to die in a fire.

Atleast they didn't add Xe, Xhe, whatever crap.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 12, 2017)

But actually, thinking about it, I don't see such a feature getting in the way.
Actually it would make people happier, it would avoid me doing extra work, as e.g. going back to the profile and looking for the gender, or editing the text back after I realize I made a mistake, because you know, I am a PERFECTIONIST. /s (not even I believed that last bit)

Sure, it is not a "required function", but it would be a nice cosmetic change.


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## Lucifer666 (Jun 12, 2017)

StarGazerTom said:


> Because this gender politics bullshit needs to die in a fire.
> 
> Atleast they didn't add Xe, Xhe, whatever crap.


That's not what this is talking about though. Just a simple notification feature. 

Also "gender politics" is a pretty non-descriptive term. There's a lot of gender discourse that's on-point and a lot of it that's absolutely b******, doesn't really make sense to clump it all together. I hope trans people don't bother you.


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## Deleted User (Jun 12, 2017)

Lucifer666 said:


> I hope trans people don't bother you.


Not at all, I have a few trans friends myself.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## Lucifer666 (Jun 12, 2017)

sarkwalvein said:


> But actually, thinking about it, I don't see such a feature getting in the way.
> Actually it would make people happier, it would avoid me doing extra work, as e.g. going back to the profile and looking for the gender, or editing the text back after I realize I make a mistake, because you know, I am a PERFECTIONIST. /s (not even I believed that last bit)
> 
> Sure, it is not a "required function", but it would be a nice cosmetic change.


It's nice to see someone looking at it pragmatically rather than politically.


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## Issac (Jun 12, 2017)

For some, being called the wrong gender is a big deal. For someone not affected by it, it's impossible to judge how damaging it can be. 
Being nice or caring enough to use the correct pronoun doesn't cost you more than a few seconds. I think you can spare that time. 

Having a pronoun in the notifications would be a non-intrusive reminder that would help those who actually care about it.


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## H1B1Esquire (Jun 12, 2017)

I'm against this only for the reason, it shouldn't matter. If people need to be corrected, it's easy to do and can be done in a non-judgmental way. What I would like to see however, a way for users to hide profile comments--don't like something? Hide it. Trigger easy and you've got a lot of warnings? Hide the comment-bait.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 12, 2017)

H1B1Esquire said:


> I'm against this only for the reason, it shouldn't matter. If people need to be corrected, it's easy to do and can be done in a non-judgmental way. What I would like to see however, a way for users to hide profile comments--don't like something? Hide it. Trigger easy and you've got a lot of warnings? Hide the comment-bait.


What do yo mean? You can make your profile private.

PS: Even closed to comments, or allowing comments only from people you follow.
PS2: Also, if what you want is not to see other people's profile statuses, you can remove the profile status section from the main page, it is quite flexible.


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## H1B1Esquire (Jun 12, 2017)

sarkwalvein said:


> What do yo mean? You can make your profile private.
> PS: Even closed to comments, or allowing comments only from people you follow.



I mean, if you see someone talking about something offensive to you, but can't really be removed by a mod, you would have the choice to "hide" the comment. Basically, a button that would turn the entire comment into a "spoiler".


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 12, 2017)

H1B1Esquire said:


> I mean, if you see someone talking about something offensive to you, but can't really be removed by a mod, you would have the choice to "hide" the comment. Basically, a button that would turn the entire comment into a "spoiler".


Sometimes I really think some people should take a chill pill, but I understand.
PS: So much triggering can result in a stroke.


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## H1B1Esquire (Jun 12, 2017)

sarkwalvein said:


> Sometimes I really think some people should take a chill pill, but I understand.
> PS: So much triggering can result in a stroke.



Well, it could be used in more ways than just "offensive" material. Things like one-word posts, weird pictures, a derailing comment, etc,. I feel by doing this, it would save a lot of problems for the mods and leaves more time for the really big, definitely-against-the-rules stuff to get removed faster.


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## WeedZ (Jun 13, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.
> 
> So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.
> 
> ...


Then theyll have to add every other non-binary nonsense gender, then everyone will be at each others throats for "assuming" gender, then it all goes to shit. Go to tumblr.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------



Issac said:


> For some, being called the wrong gender is a big deal. For someone not affected by it, it's impossible to judge how damaging it can be.
> Being nice or caring enough to use the correct pronoun doesn't cost you more than a few seconds. I think you can spare that time.
> 
> Having a pronoun in the notifications would be a non-intrusive reminder that would help those who actually care about it.


It's already non-gender specific so who cares?


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## Minox (Jun 13, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> True - but then you're in the middle of typing, and you think, crap, are they male or female? And have to scroll up to wherever their post is that you're quoting (or go and do a separate search if you are just referring to someone, not quoting them). Instead of already knowing.
> 
> Anyway, it's not a big deal - just something very easy to add that most people probably wouldn't even notice. Or maybe people like it if you call them the wrong thing, and we need to facilitate that. Whatever.


When I'm unsure I just write he/she and then I'm done with it. It requires no further effort from me and no extra forum functionality to be added.

If you ask me I do not think there is a need to add custom functionality for things that can simply be solved by being a nice person.


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## Stephano (Jun 13, 2017)

What's wrong with just calling them by their user name? I don't think I've ever had to say he or she on this site.

How often do people on this site use he or she anyways?


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## Deleted User (Jun 13, 2017)

I imagine this could be done with just a simple "read user gender, place gender in notification blog place".

We don't need gender in EVERY notification (didn't read your post, don't know if you said this). But the blog where it says he/she's blog yeah sure i'm fine with that.


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## Boogieboo6 (Jun 13, 2017)

I don't even read notifications. I scan for keywords like liked, quoted, and replied to the thread. If he's and she's were thrown in, it'd take me a while to notice. I still wouldn't even care, because I very rarely need to call somebody he or she. Given how rare it is I have to use he and she, how rare it is that I guess incorrectly, and how rarely I guess wrong on somebody that gets super offended, this is a useless function that might save me 1 in 100 times. That is, if I bothered to look for he/she in the notification.


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## Deleted User (Jun 13, 2017)

Stephano said:


> What's wrong with just calling them by their user name? I don't think I've ever had to say he or she on this site.
> 
> How often do people on this site use he or she anyways?


Well that's the beauty of an internet forum. Everybody goes by a name, an alias, they can be whoever they want and people can't say "no you are this"

And people still try to do this stuff.


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## Stephano (Jun 13, 2017)

Okay time to rant.
First off, I don't hate any type of person. I may disagree with their decisions or their beliefs, but i won't attack someone who believes certain things. Unlike some people.... 
That being said, this is indeed a gaming forum and it should stay as such. These last few weeks, i have been told by many people that this site is getting worse and worse. While i don't fully agree with that, it is scary to think that people are leaving because of "x" or "y". So i have been thinking to myself, "Why have these people been leaving?" Some have said they are getting attacked private my members of this community. While that is awful, i'm not sure how to fix that.  Others say the enviornment is getting more PC and toxic.
As for this idea..... I'm going to have to say... maybe? I haven't ever referred to a user here as he or she. Not because i'm afraid the PC police will lock me up, but because i just have never had to. I don't see the big deal with it. With the whole avatar situation, i typically check to see if someone is a boy or girl and then try to remember. Call me a snoop, but i check on a lot of peoples profiles. Not to stock but to learn about the people who i share this site with. I never thought once Felek666 was a girl.  I just new from the past that he was a guy. Thats why events like KYT is so cool because we get to learn about people here and we should!

Summing up. If you get something wrong, that's fine. If the person gets offended because it was wrong, that is a battle they need to deal with. They made a choice and with every choice comes consequences, good or bad. You can respect their decisions and learn from it, but you are not obligated to do so.
Paraphrasing a post i made in the past, "You can say what ever you want to someone, and ill protect it, but if you end up getting shanked in an alleyway, its your own dang fault."

Rant over. No hate towards your post @Quantumcat. I just want to have a civil discussion.


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## Deleted User (Jun 13, 2017)

No need to bring personal beliefs into this, I just think it'd be nifty to have gender specific shit when quoted/liked etc.


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## Stephano (Jun 13, 2017)

king_leo said:


> No need to bring personal beliefs into this, I just think it'd be nifty to have gender specific shit when quoted/liked etc.


But why can't a user name be enough? Quoting @VinLark,



VinLark said:


> Well that's the beauty of an internet forum. Everybody goes by a name, an alias, they can be whoever they want and people can't say "no you are this"
> 
> And people still try to do this stuff.


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## WeedZ (Jun 13, 2017)

If this feature were added, the forums would have to call upon a database entry for each relevant member anytime a notification is created which could be hundreds a minute. Is it really worth the server resources to make sure the forums get everyone's "proper" pronouns right?


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## pastaconsumer (Jun 13, 2017)

Issac said:


> If also welcome such a change on notifications like these, if someone is commenting on their own content:
> View attachment 89871
> Just writing his or her (or their if gender isn't set) would make it look better.


I think it should be "their". For example, 'Dionicio3 commented on their post on your profile.' and 'Dionicio3 also commented on their status.'
That way it fits everyone, like the current system does now. And if higher-ups want to, they could make a setting for users to turn this feature on or off.
But that's just my proposal on the matter.


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## kuwanger (Jun 13, 2017)

Perhaps I'm an old crow, but I'm Kuwanger.  I'm not "he".  I'm not "she".  I'm not "it".  I can tolerate "their" because "Kuwanger's" this and "Kuwaner's" that gets messy looking after a while (and easy to misspell).  That's it.

If people want to identify as gender blue and referred to as "Blue" or "Blie", more power to them.  The whole point of gbatemp (and the internet in general) is communicating ideas.  Once you get to know a person, you can figure out how they want to be called by talking to them.  That's the core part of building a personal relationship.

So, sure, if some people want an option to put in a message of "female" or "supreme overload" in their user field, more power to them.  Most the time, though, I don't care if you're male, female, an alien, or blue.  But, whatever.


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## Issac (Jun 13, 2017)

TheGrayShow1467 said:


> I think it should be "their". For example, 'Dionicio3 commented on their post on your profile.' and 'Dionicio3 also commented on their status.'
> That way it fits everyone, like the current system does now. And if higher-ups want to, they could make a setting for users to turn this feature on or off.
> But that's just my proposal on the matter.


Yeah, that would be a good solution in my eyes. 
Username posted on op's profile. 
if(username == op): change op to their. 

The addition of he and she together with 'their' would just be extra. I just think it looks more human, and would be such a discrete and subconscious hint of other's genders... Like subtle visual cues in real life.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## Sicklyboy (Jun 13, 2017)

My viewpoint, as it has been for a while: everyone on the internet is a dude, unless they're not.

That may not be "politically correct", but I'd argue that the gender of a user has little bearing on the content of their post and how your replies should be structured; the vast majority of the content on this website and the discussions that surround it generally has no relation to a particular user's gender whatsoever.


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## Seriel (Jun 13, 2017)

I just call people by whatever their profile is set as, if it has it set to unknown then neutral pronouns, otherwise whatever matches.
It would be nice if notifications did this too, but I wouldn't exactly call it an important feature that needs to exist, just a novelty that would be nice to have but in the end doesn't really achieve much.
tldr I dont really care either way


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## Deleted User (Jun 13, 2017)

WeedZ said:


> If this feature were added, the forums would have to call upon a database entry for each relevant member anytime a notification is created which could be hundreds a minute. Is it really worth the server resources to make sure the forums get everyone's "proper" pronouns right?


To answer your question

No


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## daxtsu (Jun 13, 2017)

Alternatively, change the notifications from "his/her" to "their", since that's an acceptable gender-neutral pronoun in English, and no database lookup is required.

I think this is mostly a non-issue as it is. If you have doubts, just call them "they"/"them" or "their" for the possessive.


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## Deleted User (Jun 13, 2017)

This thread turned from a rant to a shitstorm.
Uhm, to @OP, you can preview profile, ya know. I'm not changing my waifu because somebody moaned about naming somebody "she" because his profile pic had anime grill on it.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 13, 2017)

Issac said:


> just think it looks more human, and would be such a discrete and subconscious hint of other's genders... Like subtle visual cues in real life.


 Exactly what I was thinking.


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## megabug7 (Jun 13, 2017)

Being mis-gendered is pretty normal on social websites - I don't care if I'm mis-gendered


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## evandixon (Jun 13, 2017)

Saying someone replied to "their" thread is grammatically incorrect. Avoiding that and gender is more challenging though.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 13, 2017)

evandixon said:


> Saying someone replied to "their" thread is grammatically incorrect. Avoiding that and gender is more challenging though.


Is it?
Isn't *they* the "genderless" for both singular and plural in English?


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## Quantumcat (Jun 13, 2017)

sarkwalvein said:


> Is it?
> Isn't *they* the "genderless" for both singular and plural in English?


It is but that's awkward. Anytime using "their" for a single person is just making it glaringly obvious that you don't know anything about this person, and just sounds uncomfortable.

There is absolutely no reason to insert "their" or "they". That adds nothing, and if you don't want to add gender to notifications then it may as well be left as it is.


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## Boogieboo6 (Jun 13, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> It is but that's awkward. Anytime using "their" for a single person is just making it glaringly obvious that you don't know anything about this person, and just sounds uncomfortable.
> 
> There is absolutely no reason to insert "their" or "they". That adds nothing, and if you don't want to add gender to notifications then it may as well be left as it is.


Adding he and she but not their could make somebody who uses they/them pronouns feel inferior. Not that I use those pronouns or anything, but I'm just echoing what I've read from time to time.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 13, 2017)

Boogieboo6 said:


> Adding he and she but not their could make somebody who uses they/them pronouns feel inferior. Not that I use those pronouns or anything, but I'm just echoing what I've read from time to time.


But, they *won't *have they/their pronouns: the notifications would stay the same as they are (with no pronouns) in the case the person doesn't have a gender specified in their profile.

And in any case, they will never see it. Only other people will see notifications with their name in it.


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## evandixon (Jun 13, 2017)

sarkwalvein said:


> Is it?
> Isn't *they* the "genderless" for both singular and plural in English?


It's only for plural, although people incorrectly use it for singular too.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 13, 2017)

evandixon said:


> It's only for plural, although people incorrectly use it for singular too.


I am not a native speaker, and it seems weird to me when used as singular.
But I've seen this is a tendency nowadays, and according to this article, it was used for singular in the past, then it stopped being used that way, and now it is starting to be used again for singular in a _"process that seems irreversible"_ for the language.


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## Kioku_Dreams (Jun 13, 2017)

On the internet, everyone is a cat. Yes. Even YOU.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 13, 2017)

Meow?


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## invaderyoyo (Jun 14, 2017)

It's a good idea. If you don't want to put your gender, then don't. I really don't see how you can argue against this. This has nothing to do with gender politics. It won't detract anything.


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## BARNWEY (Jun 14, 2017)

Why not have an option that shows someone's basic information when you hover over their profile pic; such as status, gender, etc. It would be much cleaner, easier to implement, and much quicker than going up to your notifications and searching around to see what that person's gender is. Also, why not have an other option for gender, where you can type in what you are. That way, there isn't much revision, and it saves this website a lot of drama. Honestly though, I don't care too much. I'm just a content dude...


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## Olmectron (Jun 14, 2017)

In the *new* temp style, *you need to enter the actual profile page* of the person for seeing if they have set a gender.

Before,* it was* shown on the popup that opens when *clicking on the user name*, without actually entering the profile page.

Is it really hard to *show it along with the join date and location *at the left side of each user's entry/comment/post? I've always wondered this.


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

Memoir said:


> On the internet, everyone is a cat. Yes. Even YOU.


You calling everyone a pussy? Sensitive people not being correctly gender identified.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## Dionicio3 (Jun 14, 2017)

Olmectron said:


> In the *new* temp style, *you need to enter the actual profile page* of the person for seeing if they have set a gender.
> 
> Before,* it was* shown on the popup that opens when *clicking on the user name*, without actually entering the profile page.
> 
> Is it really hard to *show it along with the join date and location *at the left side of each user's entry/comment/post? I've always wondered this.


Why did *you* bold so *many* words? It *makes* it hard to *read*


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## Olmectron (Jun 14, 2017)

Dionicio3 said:


> Why did *you* bold so *many* words? It *makes* it hard to *read*


I'm just remarking *important* statements for those that could ignore the post by simple being so long and pointless.


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## Dionicio3 (Jun 14, 2017)

Olmectron said:


> I'm just remarking *important* statements.


Please don't, it's extremely annoying


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## Olmectron (Jun 14, 2017)

Dionicio3 said:


> Please don't, it's extremely annoying


Alright?

You can add me to your "ignore" list if I make something annoying again. 

Sorry.


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## Kikirini (Jun 14, 2017)

Eh. I get misgendered on this site all the time, but I don't see a need to add a feature like this.
If people get it wrong, correct them. Simple as that.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

Olmectron said:


> In the *new* temp style, *you need to enter the actual profile page* of the person for seeing if they have set a gender.
> 
> Before,* it was* shown on the popup that opens when *clicking on the user name*, without actually entering the profile page.
> 
> Is it really hard to *show it along with the join date and location *at the left side of each user's entry/comment/post? I've always wondered this.


TBH I can only attribute it to laziness.
And that is perfectly fine, but it would be better if people just call apples apples, and don't keep on trying to sell them to us as bananas.


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## ihaveahax (Jun 14, 2017)

evandixon said:


> It's only for plural, although people incorrectly use it for singular too.





sarkwalvein said:


> I am not a native speaker, and it seems weird to me when used as singular.
> But I've seen this is a tendency nowadays, and according to this article, it was used for singular in the past, then it stopped being used that way, and now it is starting to be used again for singular in a _"process that seems irreversible"_ for the language.


it can be used in both cases. singular "they" has been around for a long time and is a valid use of the term. it can be used to refer to someone whose gender is unknown, or someone who prefers it.


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## deinonychus71 (Jun 14, 2017)

I really couldnt care less if such an option is added, however for having managed a social site for a while I know this: The problem with that is that it will not stop there.
Next thing is gonna add all the "other" genders, like shi for example.
Some people get really, really pissy if you call them male or female. I remember a telegram chat that went into a drama because someone didn't want us to say "hey guys" cause it was offending to that person. It "was offending because it was showing male superiority over female" so we had to stop using it.

Every, single, thing, you, say, will offend someone in the world. People always find reasons to go on crusades and be offended by something. And why even stopping with genders? I wanna be recognized as a dragon and I get offended being called a human. I know thats not whats my body is but it hurts me inside to be considered as such (i know some people genuinely feel that way), so should I ask to create a special property field not to be called a man?
That's just how stupidly extreme this stuff can get. A mistake is a mistake and is not meant to offend. Be an adult about it. End of the story. If you can't deal with that, don't read the internet because people won't give up on their freedom of speech.


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## Mr. Elementle (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> It is but that's awkward. Anytime using "their" for a single person is just making it glaringly obvious that you don't know anything about this person, and just sounds uncomfortable.



It really doesn't to native English speakers, at least it sounds better than "he or she". English speakers use singular they all the time without realizing it, they only get upset when you ask them to use it. if you don't know someone's gender or your talking about multiple people but separately you use singular they, or anytime you would use someone, or somebody you would use singular they

"The cashier looked super familiar" "What'd they looks like?"
"I went around and asked each person what they wanted for lunch"
"Anyone would have wondered if the letter was theirs"

all of these sentences (And many more) are proper grammatical uses of singular they would be made way clunkier, and much worse by trying put "he or she" in there, no native English speaker would say "What'd he or she look like" unless they were going out of their way. English never actually stopped using singular they, just in the last couple decades people started being offended by it, or more specifically by people asking them to use it


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## Whole lotta love (Jun 14, 2017)

I don't see a point in having gender referenced at all on this site.


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## Mr. Elementle (Jun 14, 2017)

deinonychus71 said:


> If you can't deal with that, don't read the internet because people won't give up on their freedom of speech.



But wouldn't it be their freedom of speech to tell you it's offensive, or to ask to be called a dragon? freedom of speech works both ways, if you have the right to say something, they have the right to say it's offensive, and it's up to you to decide if it actually is or not, if you think it actually hurt someone you should stop, if you think they're being overly sensitive you have the right to tell them that, and they have the right to say something back. that's how freedom of speech works, just because you have the right to say something doesn't mean people have to like or agree with it, as long as it's not like a rampage or slurs or inciting an actual physical hate crime it's fine

oh and that dragon thing actually exists, it's called other-kin and real trans people that identify as the opposite gender, or as non-binary FUCKING HATE IT, since most of the people that use it don't even have dysphoria or any of the mental triggers that actually make you trans, they're just extra-furries that don't want to call themselves furries so they try to act like they're trans, and actual trans people have a hell of a time trying to tell them that just because you really like deer doesn't mean your gender is deer.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------



Whole lotta love said:


> I don't see a point in having gender referenced at all on this site.



The real answer to this whole thread, like just keep it all gender neutral, it's easier and you have to deal with way less moral/political shit.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 14, 2017)

Mr. Elementle said:


> "The cashier looked super familiar" "What'd they look like?"
> "I went around and asked each person what they wanted for lunch"
> "Anyone would have wondered if the letter was theirs"


In all of these cases it is someone you either don't know or it could apply to a number of people any of which could be male or female. These cases are fine. When you are referring to someone specific who you know (you know their name, they're not a random cashier or something). That's when it is awkward.

In the case of number 1, they are a cashier, a random person who you don't know.
In the case of number 2, unless you are at an all girl's school, or in a monastery,  each person could be either male or female.
Number 3 is the same as number 2.

Compare this to:
"I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
"Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
"arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
"I asked Crystal The Glaceon for help, they replied right away"

Do these not sound awkward to you?


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## Olmectron (Jun 14, 2017)

-snip-
@Quantumcat is simply proposing a way to identify as "she" or "he" to each user in the notifications. 

Something along the lines of "User A has tagged you in *his/her* post"


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## Mr. Elementle (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> Compare this to:
> "I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
> "Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
> "arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
> ...


No those all sound fine. that's how i'd phrase them if i didn't know the persons gender, and none of those would be easy to figure it out since they're all gender neutral


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## ihaveahax (Jun 14, 2017)

this thread is about changing text on the site to refer to someone in their preferred method, it should not become another gender politics/wars thread. I would be in favor of reading the user's profile and using the appropriate pronoun (he/she), and/or defaulting to they, or not using one at all. keeps the most people happy.


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## Mr. Elementle (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> This comment has nothing to do with the discussion. Did you actually read it?


no they just saw gender in a topic and saw it as a chance to shout their transphobic opinions at people lol, that happens a lot on the internet


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## Dionicio3 (Jun 14, 2017)

ihaveamac said:


> this thread is about changing text on the site to refer to someone in their preferred method, it should not become another gender politics/wars thread. I would be in favor of reading the user's profile and using the appropriate pronoun (he/she), and/or defaulting to they, or not using one at all. keeps the most people happy.


Words of the wisest man


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

deinonychus71 said:


> I really couldnt care less if such an option is added, however for having managed a social site for a while I know this: The problem with that is that it will not stop there.
> Next thing is gonna add all the "other" genders, like shi for example.
> Some people get really, really pissy if you call them male or female. I remember a telegram chat that went into a drama because someone didn't want us to say "hey guys" cause it was offending to that person. It "was offending because it was showing male superiority over female" so we had to stop using it.



Wasn't there a group of people that said labels are bad because they separate people into groups, that we should look past that and judge people as individuals rather than labels and groups they are associated with. And then all of a sudden here comes a bunch of people creating millions of gender labels to separate people.

"You guys" being offensive? That microaggression nonsense. Problem with microaggressions is that there is no research to back up that it causes harm.
And usually people that make a big deal about microaggressions become macroaggressive.


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## jurassicplayer (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> "I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
> "Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
> "arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
> "I asked Crystal The Glaceon for help, they replied right away"
> ...


No, they don't sound awkward.

I have no idea why there is a 4 page discussion on two pronouns of the English language, but it looks pointless to me. 

Not to mention that there are some people that change their gender whenever they feel like it. Maybe I've been online for too long or something, but I don't associate anything with gender (username, avatar, and even that gender on the profile). It's either: everyone is a guy, or I get confirmation from the person in question about what gender they give a shit to be called. And then there are those off cases where someone was a guy/girl and decided to change genders, in which case I remember both.


----------



## YamiZee (Jun 14, 2017)

I mean there COULD be a check box for those that want it that would display a tiny gender sign next to their country flag or something


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## Kioku_Dreams (Jun 14, 2017)

Even though it is the internet. I do agree that we should be able to properly identify (lol) what pronouns we would prefer. You're still a human being. You don't lose your gender because you join a forum. Why shouldn't we give the option?


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

jurassicplayer said:


> No, they don't sound awkward.
> 
> I have no idea why there is a 4 page discussion on two pronouns of the English language, but it looks pointless to me.


I suppose people got very bored between and then after the E3, and well, they had to discuss about something. Blame the E3 for being so uneventful... or Blame Canada™, you decide.


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## HaloEliteLegend (Jun 14, 2017)

Yo, I'm cool with some casual "him/her/other" thrown about in the notification updates. I think it would be cool unnoticeable but helpful context that people will kinda just internalize over time. At the very least, it makes the notifications a lot more personable!


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## Zero72463 (Jun 14, 2017)

What if I am not a his or a her?


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## deinonychus71 (Jun 14, 2017)

Mr. Elementle said:


> But wouldn't it be their freedom of speech to tell you it's offensive, or to ask to be called a dragon? freedom of speech works both ways, if you have the right to say something, they have the right to say it's offensive, and it's up to you to decide if it actually is or not, if you think it actually hurt someone you should stop, if you think they're being overly sensitive you have the right to tell them that, and they have the right to say something back. that's how freedom of speech works, just because you have the right to say something doesn't mean people have to like or agree with it, as long as it's not like a rampage or slurs or inciting an actual physical hate crime it's fine
> 
> oh and that dragon thing actually exists, it's called other-kin and real trans people that identify as the opposite gender, or as non-binary FUCKING HATE IT, since most of the people that use it don't even have dysphoria or any of the mental triggers that actually make you trans, they're just extra-furries that don't want to call themselves furries so they try to act like they're trans, and actual trans people have a hell of a time trying to tell them that just because you really like deer doesn't mean your gender is deer.



It's absolutely their right to say it, as it is my right to find it ridiculous. Honest mistakes exist and if someone can't deal with that? well tough luck.
I do respect someone's wishing to be called he or she or it or pikachu, i do not respect being blamed for assuming wrong in the first place.

As for the otherkin thing, i already know that, just didnt want to get into details. But because it looks stupid to you doesnt mean they dont get "hurt" by it. That is how ridiculous it gets. Anything can offend someone in the world.

Again, I'm not against adding genders as part of a profile, i just think people should be mature enough to give the benefit of the doubt and not get offended over mistakes.


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## Stephano (Jun 14, 2017)

Zero72463 said:


> What if I am not a his or a her?


We are not discussing that here


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## Zero72463 (Jun 14, 2017)

Stephano said:


> We are not discussing that here



Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.


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## Stephano (Jun 14, 2017)

Zero72463 said:


> Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.


Well..... You're not wrong.....


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

Zero72463 said:


> Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.


But there was no complaining.
It was just a suggestion to avoid making mistakes that take more time to fix.
At least I interpreted in a "give me a tool to be more efficient, I lose time going to check user's profile because I want to use the right pronoun, this could be avoided with a tool" kind of way.

PS: Am I perhaps so pragmatic that the "drama" component of things just usually flies over my head?


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## Mr. Elementle (Jun 14, 2017)

jurassicplayer said:


> No, they don't sound awkward.
> 
> I have no idea why there is a 4 page discussion on two pronouns of the English language, but it looks pointless to me.
> 
> Not to mention that there are some people that change their gender whenever they feel like it. Maybe I've been online for too long or something, but I don't associate anything with gender (username, avatar, and even that gender on the profile). It's either: everyone is a guy, or I get confirmation from the person in question about what gender they give a shit to be called. And then there are those off cases where someone was a guy/girl and decided to change genders, in which case I remember both.



I feel you, i've been on the internet since the 90's back when you didn't know anyone's gender or name or anything and most people didn't bother telling; you just had a shitty username with too many x's, (Though we would have never had this problem anyway since a lot of them were in french so every notification would be the same; since the pronoun takes the gender of the object, it would always be «sa poste» (her post) because posts are feminine»


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## HaloEliteLegend (Jun 14, 2017)

Zero72463 said:


> Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.


I think a "him, her, *their, no entry/use default" option might work? Unless you want to head down a really deep rabbit hole...

*edit


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## Deleted User (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> Compare this to:
> "I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
> "Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
> "arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
> ...


Actually, that's not awkward. The second example you made is the exact opposite of what you are trying to say. The last example is really nice also, as somebody else could go to crystal and get help. 

None of this is awkward. This is a internet forum, not real life


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## Quantumcat (Jun 14, 2017)

VinLark said:


> Actually, that's not awkward. The second example you made is the exact opposite of what you are trying to say. The last example is really nice also, as somebody else could go to crystal and get help.
> 
> None of this is awkward. This is a internet forum, not real life


Consider what it would sound like if you said it about someone you knew in real life. It sounds like you know nothing about them, and just sounds really rude. Like if you've been friendly with any of these people, and then say that, it sounds like you are distancing yourself from them by being rude and you don't like them any more. I guess I'm alone in that view?


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## XavyrrVaati (Jun 14, 2017)

Use gender neutral words. Problem solved. Also if you make a deal out of something that has no ill intent, then you're part of the problem.


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## Deleted User (Jun 14, 2017)

I kinda like the idea because seeing "[user1] replied to his post on your profile" sounds more natural than "[user1] replied to [user1]'s post on your profile" or "[user2] added a new post to her blog" instead of "[user2] added a new post to his/her blog." I do think it's a good idea to just stick with using "they" n' shit though because of the already mentioned database query issue.


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## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

I personally think that the way it currently shows notifications is fine.









if his/her causes issues, then "their" could be a valuable option.

Other than that, if someone could add a specific site function, it would be something like this:

Member identifies as Male: He/him/his 
Member identifies as Female: She/her/her
Member identity is ambiguous/hidden/other: They/them/their

I_ think_ that would make everyone happy.


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## Deleted User (Jun 14, 2017)

VinsCool said:


> if his/her causes issues, then "their" could be a valuable option.


The main problem I have with "his/her" is just that it looks strange and feels weird to read.


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## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

Tomato Hentai said:


> The main problem I have with "his/her" is just that it looks strange and feels weird to read.


I personally believe this makes it fair for everyone that way. "their" would have worked better at this point, in my opinion.


----------



## Whole lotta love (Jun 14, 2017)

VinsCool said:


> I personally think that the way it currently shows notifications is fine.
> 
> View attachment 90057
> View attachment 90058
> ...



I think just having everything set to "their" would be the simplest solution.


----------



## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

Whole lotta love said:


> I think just having everything set to "their" would be the simplest solution.


I guess that would be the easiest option, and I have no problem with it.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## Saiyan Lusitano (Jun 14, 2017)

Whole lotta love said:


> I think just having everything set to "their" would be the simplest solution.


That is fucking retarded. "Their" implies a group of people, one person isn't a "their."


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## Whole lotta love (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> That is fucking retarded. "Their" implies a group of people, one person isn't a "their."


No it doesn't. It is grammatically correct.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they


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## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> That is fucking retarded. "Their" implies a group of people, one person isn't a "their."


I thought that as well, but it turns out "they/them/their" _can_ be used as a singular person pronoun.


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## Dionicio3 (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> That is fucking retarded. "Their" implies a group of people, one person isn't a "their."


Since when was grammar on an online gaming forum important?


----------



## Saiyan Lusitano (Jun 14, 2017)

VinsCool said:


> I thought that as well, but it turns out "they/them/their" _can_ be used as a singular person pronoun.


In adult daycare centres also known as campuses?


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## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> In adult daycare centres also known as campuses?


No. it's just grammatically correct 
I too felt it was unusual, but it does work when the person is unknown, or ambiguous.


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## Dionicio3 (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> In adult daycare centres also known as campuses?


I believe you missed one key word: *singular*


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## Whole lotta love (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> In adult daycare centres also known as campuses?


Yes, and the rest of the English speaking world.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

Whole lotta love said:


> Yes, and the rest of the English speaking world.


You learn new things every day.
Actually it was around one year ago or so I noticed the singular use of "they", and later went up to check around and it was used like that everywhere.
It may seem weird, but when English is not your first language you are taught in kind of a formal way, and teachers only taught you the plural use of they.

The singular use for a non-native sounds completely weird, but it is exactly because they have selectively avoided it in formal teaching, and you don't have contact as a kid with native english speakers to notice on your own.


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## Saiyan Lusitano (Jun 14, 2017)

Dionicio3 said:


> Since when was grammar on an online gaming forum important?


If grammar isn't important then just write as you please.



VinsCool said:


> No. it's just grammatically correct
> I too felt it was unusual, but it does work when the person is unknown, or ambiguous.


Calling a single person by "they" or "their" just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.



Whole lotta love said:


> Yes, and the rest of the English speaking world.


No, not really.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------



sarkwalvein said:


> You learn new things every day.
> Actually it was around one year ago or so I noticed the singular use of "they", and later went up to check around and it was used like that everywhere.
> It may seem weird, but when English is not your first language you are taught in kind of a formal way, and teachers only taught you the plural use of they.
> 
> The singular use for a non-native sounds completely weird, but it is exactly because they have selectively avoided it in formal teaching, and you don't have contact as a kid with native english speakers to notice on your own.


Dude, this is a new trend so that some people don't get their feelings hurt for 'misgendering' a him/her and instead want to be called they/their.


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## Deleted User (Jun 14, 2017)

I'm already done with this thread lmao
It's just gonna devolve into more of a petty fight.


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## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> Calling a single person by "they" or "their" just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.


Just read this post, it summarizes what i thought as well.



sarkwalvein said:


> You learn new things every day.
> Actually it was around one year ago or so I noticed the singular use of "they", and later went up to check around and it was used like that everywhere.
> It may seem weird, but when English is not your first language you are taught in kind of a formal way, and teachers only taught you the plural use of they.
> 
> The singular use for a non-native sounds completely weird, but it is exactly because they have selectively avoided it in formal teaching, and you don't have contact as a kid with native english speakers to notice on your own.


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## Boogieboo6 (Jun 14, 2017)

Who is this really benefiting? I rarely see members be misgendered, and when I do, it's a new member calling @Crystal the Glaceon a male. I remember the genders of members because I see them a lot, and I think others do too. I think a new member wouldn't bother to read the notification and wouldn't actively search for the gender of the person helping them.


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## Whole lotta love (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> If grammar isn't important then just write as you please.
> 
> 
> Calling a single person by "they" or "their" just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. [citation needed]
> ...


----------



## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> Dude, this is a new trend so that some people don't get their feelings hurt for 'misgendering' a him/her and instead want to be called they/their.


No, it is not new. I researched about it.
It is something that existed in informal spoken language since always (14th century according to wikipedia), but grammarists disliked so they told people not to write like that.
Then since the 70s it seems grammarists started to give up, and people use it for all kinds of official documents since then.

PS: Also, I will steal this quote 





			
				Somebody said:
			
		

> Language is a living thing. We can feel it changing. Parts of it become old: they drop off and are forgotten. New pieces bud out, spread into leaves, and become big branches, proliferating.


 Meaning the language changes with the people anyway, what was wrong yesterday may be right today and so. E.g. British English is slowly turning quite American in the use of "-ize" instead of "-ise" lately (according to what I've read).


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## VinsCool (Jun 14, 2017)

Hey, everyone.

Can we just agree that the current way notifications are shown is fine? Best would be to change his/her to their. Other than that, i guess things are fine already.


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

Saiyan Lusitano said:


> If grammar isn't important then just write as you please.
> 
> 
> Calling a single person by "they" or "their" just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
> ...


If its going to be used as a singular than what matters is context. "Ask someone if they could help." This makes sense.

"Are they going to the mall?" This doesn't make sense if you're talking directly to the person. You would say instead, "Are you going to the mall?"


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## AkikoKumagara (Jun 14, 2017)

'Don said:


> Why is this such a big deal? I wouldnt give a fuck if someone misgendered me


I didn't realize you spoke for everyone...


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

VinsCool said:


> Hey, everyone.
> 
> Can we just agree that the current way notifications are shown is fine? Best would be to change his/her to their. Other than that, i guess things are fine already.


All is fine, changes would be cosmetic really.

Actually, the only thing that burns my eyes from that discussed here is the likes of "VinsCool also commented on VinsCool's status.", sound like a stereotyped Japanese girl trying to pass by cute and talking of herself in the third person... /s?


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## McWhiters9511 (Jun 14, 2017)

Listen. We are all insignificant meatballs in an incomprehensibly massive reality. Does it really matter that much what pronoun is used?


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## littleman (Jun 14, 2017)

Sophie-bear said:


> I didn't realize you spoke for everyone...


Offense is taken, not given.


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

sarkwalvein said:


> No, it is not new. I researched about it.
> It is something that existed in informal spoken language since always (14th century according to wikipedia), but grammarists disliked so they told people not to write like that.
> Then since the 70s it seems grammarists started to give up, and people use it for all kinds of official documents since then.
> 
> PS: Also, I will steal this quote  Meaning the language changes with the people anyway, what was wrong yesterday may be right today and so. E.g. British English is slowly turning quite American in the use of "-ize" instead of "-ise" lately (according to what I've read).


Yes thats true. The English we're speaking right now was once considered lazy and uneducated compared to how people use to speak it in the past. It was until more people started to speak like this and it became the common way people talk. Also theres informal slang and thats something thats always changing. Slang is neither considered lazy nor uneducated, it follows the same grammatical rules formal english does. In language its semiotics rather than semantics that creates meaning.


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## McWhiters9511 (Jun 14, 2017)

littleman said:


> Offense is taken, not given.


hope you dont mind if i add that to my signature


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## DarkFlare69 (Jun 14, 2017)

Why is gender such a big deal? If someone misgenders someone, correct them and move on.


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## cvskid (Jun 14, 2017)

Does something like this really matter? As far as i'm concerned unless you have an actual picture of yourself as an avatar then no one truly knows what you are besides just a username, not a certain gender.


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## Kioku_Dreams (Jun 14, 2017)

DarkFlare69 said:


> Why is gender such a big deal? If someone misgenders someone, correct them and move on.


You're the not the first person to say this. You won't be the last.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

To be honest, even though many people (I included) keep saying it would be a nice feature to have, I am almost sure if they put a poll asking "Do you really need this?" the answer would be 100% no.


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## jt_1258 (Jun 14, 2017)

I just default to he all the time...it hasn't seemed to have made anyone mad but I try to play safe


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## Xanthe (Jun 14, 2017)

Or you know, it's such a simple thing that it doesn't matter. You are one of the 1% of people who actually care about this.


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

jt_1258 said:


> I just default to he all the time...it hasn't seemed to have made anyone mad but I try to play safe


Especially since the majority of gamers are guys, its most likely going to be a guy on here.


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## Chary (Jun 14, 2017)

I'm female myself, but I always default to "he" on the Internet. If someone corrects me, I'll be more likely to remember the person's gender, rather than take the time to click their profile and ensure if they're a guy or girl before responding. Honestly even if this was changed, I'd still use they/them or just he regardless until told otherwise.


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## Deleted member 377734 (Jun 14, 2017)

I'm a "he" and I default to that on every site i'm on, if someone wants others to think of them as the opposite of their actual gender, fine, it's online anyway. one of the best users I know online is a CV user who defaulted as a "she" and to this day I still don't know, or care, what his/her actual gender is.

--------------------- MERGED ---------------------------



SG854 said:


> Especially since the majority of gamers are guys, its most likely going to be a guy on here.


People still believe that the majority of gamers are guys ? ...seriously ?


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## Mr. Elementle (Jun 14, 2017)

The most interesting thing this thread has shown me, is that almost every person going off in an insulting manner about they not being a singular pronoun, are non native english speakers from a romance language like spanish or french, is there something about how english is taught in romance languages that makes people think this is wrong? 

it's such a strange thing that a basic grammar rule used for hundreds of years, that was correct from like the 1400's to now, used by Shakespeare and Dickinson, was considered grammatically correct (and in some cases preferred) up until about the 1980's, then all of a sudden a bunch of people started deciding this was bad grammar and you shouldn't use it, at the same time a bunch of other people started asking for people to use it for them.

hmmmm.... what a mystery/s


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## jt_1258 (Jun 14, 2017)

Chary said:


> I'm female myself, but I always default to "he" on the Internet. If someone corrects me, I'll be more likely to remember the person's gender, rather than take the time to click their profile and ensure if they're a guy or girl before responding. Honestly even if this was changed, I'd still use they/them or just he regardless until told otherwise.





lcie nimbus said:


> I'm a "he" and I default to that on every site i'm on, if someone wants others to think of them as the opposite of their actual gender, fine, it's online anyway. one of the best users I know online is a CV user who defaulted as a "she" and to this day I still don't know, or care, what his/her actual gender is.
> 
> --------------------- MERGED ---------------------------
> 
> ...


I was worried about coming out with a I'll call them he till they say to call them otherwise type of ideal but I guess I'm not the only one, hmm


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## McWhiters9511 (Jun 14, 2017)

lcie nimbus said:


> People still believe that the majority of gamers are guys ? ...seriously ?


people believe it still cuz its still true. phone games doesnt make you a gamer in the slightest


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

McWhiters9511 said:


> people believe it still cuz its still true. phone games doesnt make you a gamer in the slightest


Yes the problem with the data is that it also includes candy crush casual playing mothers. When it comes to hardcore gaming its mostly guys. This is why its mostly marketed to guys.


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## Chary (Jun 14, 2017)

lcie nimbus said:


> I'm a "he" and I default to that on every site i'm on, if someone wants others to think of them as the opposite of their actual gender, fine, it's online anyway. one of the best users I know online is a CV user who defaulted as a "she" and to this day I still don't know, or care, what his/her actual gender is.
> 
> --------------------- MERGED ---------------------------
> 
> ...


From GBAtemp's perception of "gamer" and not a wide poll of "candy crush playing soccer moms are gamers" poll. Yes, most core gamers are guys. It couldn't have been more blatant at E3, as well. At least 80% of my fellow media attendees were men.


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## AkikoKumagara (Jun 14, 2017)

I've never been a fan of the "gamer" label and its negative connotations, so I don't call myself a gamer even though I'm overly-obsessed with games. Probably something for another thread, but seems relevant to the current discussion.


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## Deleted member 377734 (Jun 14, 2017)

Chary said:


> From GBAtemp's perception of "gamer" and not a wide poll of "candy crush playing soccer moms are gamers" poll. Yes, most core gamers are guys. It couldn't have been more blatant at E3, as well. At least 80% of my fellow media attendees were men.


I was thinking in the Casual to Half-way serious terms, not GBAtemp hardcore, oh, well, I stand corrected.


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## Stephano (Jun 14, 2017)

Hey, props to everyone that posted in this thread being civil. It's nice to have these conversations without wanting to murder eachother


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## SG854 (Jun 14, 2017)

Its like book publishers mostly being female. And the majority of people that buy books are female. So the book industry mostly markets to women. Its smart to market to your core audience for more sales. This destroys the argument that gaming is mostly marketed to men and that majority of developers are men because of sexism. Well its mostly marketed to them because they make up the majority. If the video game industry is sexist against women, then the book industry is being sexist against men, it works both ways.


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## henn64 (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> True - but then you're in the middle of typing, and you think, crap, are they male or female?


Does it matter? What incredibly specific scenario requires you to know their sex/gender?
Besides, somebody will get left out if male and female are the only options.


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## YamiZee (Jun 14, 2017)

Im pretty used to using they just because I prefer to talk about people gender anonymously if their identity is irrelevant


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

tbh here I dont disclose my gender, its obvious, but does this really matter?




henn64 said:


> Does it matter? What incredibly specific scenario requires you to know their sex/gender?
> Besides, somebody will get left out if male and female are the only options.


Exactly, this honestly isnt a huge problem I face, just put @Tomato Hentai or @Ricken (Im sure they're fine with this, I hope.) and itll work, no need for He/She.


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## Elizabethx90 (Jun 14, 2017)

As a female, I really don't care, but if the admins decide to do something, I say just have the gender field show up on the thing under peoples avatar on their post. Like:

Join date
Location
Gender


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## Quantumcat (Jun 14, 2017)

Elizabethx90 said:


> As a female, I really don't care, but if the admins decide to do something, I say just have the gender field show up on the thing under peoples avatar on their post. Like:
> 
> Join date
> Location
> Gender


It already does.


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## dimmidice (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> It already does.


It does not. They're talking about under the avatar on a thread. Not when going to profile.


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## xBleedingSoulx (Jun 14, 2017)

This is why I have a picture of myself in my avatar, well, that and because I'm sexy as hell.


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## sarkwalvein (Jun 14, 2017)

xBleedingSoulx said:


> This is why I have a picture of myself in my avatar, well, that and because I'm sexy as hell.


Lol, not lacking in the self-esteem department, I see.


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

xBleedingSoulx said:


> This is why I have a picture of myself in my avatar, well, that and because I'm sexy as hell.


;-)


dimmidice said:


> It does not. They're talking about under the avatar on a thread. Not when going to profile.


Well thats stupid. Not the best idea. 


sarkwalvein said:


> Lol, not lacking in the self-esteem department, I see.


its a sin and a blessing.


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## Plushie (Jun 14, 2017)

I guess it would be a nice small feature to have for people that want it, but if it becomes like Twitter, with all the "he/his/she/her" or "Xe/trans/fluid" and all the political statements, then please no.


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

Plushie said:


> I guess it would be a nice small feature to have for people that want it, but if it becomes like Twitter, with all the "he/his/she/her" or "Xe/trans/fluid" and all the political statements, then please no.


"Xe/trans/fluid"
I don't want that either, I would rather have a Other, or It, That would be enough.


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## gamesquest1 (Jun 14, 2017)

If your that bothered about being identified as a specific gender then change your title on the site to include it, so people who want to bother checking genders can make the appropriate choice of words https://gbatemp.net/account/personal-details

while I personally feel most people will just assume male unless it's common knowledge otherwise ( just because I feel most gamers are male....incorrect or not that is my assumption), and even if you prefer to be called X,Y or Z don't expect everyone to know or care either way, to many people comments on public forums are not considered a real interaction with a person and as such social pressures to use specific gendered language doesn't/shouldn't really apply

So yeah if I refer to a girl as he, it's not out of malice, it's out of indifference, if that upsets you, then you need to give less  craps about what random people on the internet say who don't know you irl

That said I do always try to use non gendered language just to avoid hurting people's feeling, but please don't act butt hurt if I get it wrong sometimes, and definitely do not demand that I remember you specifically and label you how you prefer, if I don't have a close bond I'm not going to go out of my way to keep a log of everyone's gender, your all they them or their unless I care enough to know otherwise


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## StarTrekVoyager (Jun 14, 2017)

Thing is, some members purposefully didn't fill in the gender thing in their profile (@Hayleia )


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## hobbledehoy899 (Jun 14, 2017)

can i change my gbatemp gender listing to something like "inanimate object" so that way people can unironically use "it" "its" and "itself" as pronouns


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## deishido (Jun 14, 2017)

Just use "they" or leave notifications as they are. It's really not that big a deal to us that you immediately know right off the bat. Its only really a problem when we say "Hey, could you say it this way instead please?" And that person refuses to do so after knowing full well that it's incorrect. It's simply rude, whether a person is trans or not, not just "sjw's" lashing out.

I think the best solution wups to honestly leave the notifications as they are, and put something on the user's post by their avatar. Maybe a little space that holds a user-definable text under the area where people put their titles. (Gbatemp Regular, "oh", etc) being user-definable would prevent the issue of perhaps missing someone's specific label if it were to fall outside of the traditional "Male, Female, Nonbinary, Prefer not to answer" scope. If you were feeling adventurous, the space could auto-populate with any currently set gender from their profile.


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

deishido said:


> Just use "they" or leave notifications as they are. It's really not that big a deal to us that you immediately know right off the bat. Its only really a problem when we say "Hey, could you say it this way instead please?" And that person refuses to do so after knowing full well that it's incorrect. It's simply rude, whether a person is trans or not, not just "sjw's" lashing out.
> 
> I think the best solution wups to honestly leave the notifications as they are, and put something on the user's post by their avatar. Maybe a little space that holds a user-definable text under the area where people put their titles. (Gbatemp Regular, "oh", etc) being user-definable would prevent the issue of perhaps missing someone's specific label if it were to fall outside of the traditional "Male, Female, Nonbinary, Prefer not to answer" scope. If you were feeling adventurous, the space could auto-populate with any currently set gender from their profile.


DOES IT MATTER?!


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## deishido (Jun 14, 2017)

Luglige said:


> DOES IT MATTER?!


I mean, if you read my post you wouldn't ask that question? It doesn't really matter if we changed it as its non intrusive as it is now.

If you're asking if it matters in the general scope, then you should ask yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't be very pleased if someone were to continuously refer to you as "miss" Luglige. If you don't, kudos to you ma'am.


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## gamesquest1 (Jun 14, 2017)

deishido said:


> Just use "they" or leave notifications as they are. It's really not that big a deal to us that you immediately know right off the bat. Its only really a problem when we say "Hey, could you say it this way instead please?" And that person refuses to do so after knowing full well that it's incorrect. It's simply rude, whether a person is trans or not, not just "sjw's" lashing out.
> 
> I think the best solution wups to honestly leave the notifications as they are, and put something on the user's post by their avatar. Maybe a little space that holds a user-definable text under the area where people put their titles. (Gbatemp Regular, "oh", etc) being user-definable would prevent the issue of perhaps missing someone's specific label if it were to fall outside of the traditional "Male, Female, Nonbinary, Prefer not to answer" scope. If you were feeling adventurous, the space could auto-populate with any currently set gender from their profile.


I'm sorry but the idea that you can force people to have to remember your gender is silly, it's people just flexing their rights to control others, if I don't care about you then I don't care enough to remember if your male or female don't think you can force me to do so by the powers of political correctness, as I said, I'm more than happy to try stick to genderless language, but I will not start remembering everyone's gender especially when it has zero bearing on their communications or mine. Anyone expecting me to retroactively go back and correct their gender and remember their personal preference in future can just block me instead as you cannot force me to care about you or your gender, you are not special don't think you can force special treatment from others

(Not directed at you, but people who wants special treatment and act butt hurt if EVERYONE doesn't know them and what they have between their legs)


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

deishido said:


> I mean, if you read my post you wouldn't ask that question? It doesn't really matter if we changed it as its non intrusive as it is now.
> 
> If you're asking if it matters in the general scope, then you should ask yourself. I'm sure you wouldn't be very pleased if someone were to continuously refer to you as "miss" Luglige. If you don't, kudos to you ma'am.


I honestly wouldn't care, I don't disclose my gender, the thing is that changing it to they, it, fluid, he, she, ny, the point is it won't inconvenience anyone, just say @Luglige or @Ricken (Sorry again Ricken.) and that would bring it futile to even need it. I was saying does it matter to even say they, sorry if I wasn't specific enough.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


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## WeedZ (Jun 14, 2017)

Can we all just leave it alone and forget this ever happened?


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

WeedZ said:


> Can we all just leave it alone and forget this ever happened?


I wish.


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## deishido (Jun 14, 2017)

Luglige said:


> I honestly wouldn't care, I don't disclose my gender, the thing is that changing it to they, it, fluid, he, she, ny, the point is it won't inconvenience anyone, just say @Luglige or @Ricken (Sorry again Ricken.) and that would bring it futile to even need it. I was saying does it matter to even say they, sorry if I wasn't specific enough.



Oh, I completely misunderstood your response then. Sorry about that. No, it really wouldn't matter to change the notifications, even to they. It would make the notification system feel more natural, but other than that it would simply be an aesthetic change with not real consequence.

@gamesquest1 literally nobody is expecting you to just remember that for every person you run across and literally nobody is forcing you to do anything. What we do expect is that, if in a given thread in a reply to you we say "actually, I'm a dude" it would be more than inconsiderate for you to say "I know you said that, but I'm still gonna call you a girl"  we only really care when someone does this stuff absolutely *intentionally*. The people go go far out of their way to complain about "them transgendereds and their Political Correctness" when they could have just said "he" next time they refer to a person. The people who feel like social politeness is an accusation of their entire being. 

I mean, we're still human, we will forgive any simple mistake and most often we don't care if you do it even a few times if its done innocently. It's only a problem for us when an individual comes out and tells us about how they think we don't deserve to be acknowledged by the terms that actually describe us.


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## hobbledehoy899 (Jun 14, 2017)

WeedZ said:


> Can we all just leave it alone and forget this ever happened?


but the gender covfefeelings~~~ ;O;


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## drewby (Jun 14, 2017)

My opinion: Honestly, if you are going to get hurt by someone misgendering you, put it in your status or something. If not, just realize that if someone has it in their status, respect their pronouns, and don't misgender someone to be a dick to them.


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## Quantumcat (Jun 14, 2017)

WeedZ said:


> Can we all just leave it alone and forget this ever happened?


I tried to get this thread locked but looks like they wouldn't do it.


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> I tried to get this thread locked but looks like they wouldn't do it.


I actually laughed, I will hand it to you, I've made (many) threads with (a lot) of (pain) lash back, remember we love you!


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## Quantumcat (Jun 14, 2017)

Luglige said:


> I actually laughed, I will hand it to you, I've made (many) threads with (a lot) of (pain) lash back, remember we love you!


-_-

Maybe I need to start shitposting or something.


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## gamesquest1 (Jun 14, 2017)

Did someone want shitposting?


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## Luglige (Jun 14, 2017)

Quantumcat said:


> -_-
> 
> Maybe I need to start shitposting or something.


No, that'll get worse.


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## Futurdreamz (Jun 14, 2017)

I would just expect it to default to male. I naturally assume everyone online is male, and if I get hints otherwise I just assume they're fruity. I'd rather not get into a pronoun game, and I'm not about to start treating people different just because they are not guys.


That being said, if one's gender is noted by their avatar (just the symbol will do) and the site either references that or avoids using gender pronouns, then that would be fine too.


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## jt_1258 (Jun 15, 2017)

xBleedingSoulx said:


> This is why I have a picture of myself in my avatar, well, that and because I'm sexy as hell.


there is always the chance someone could mistake it for your posting a pic of your partner rather then yourself o.o


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## Pokem (Jul 9, 2017)

littleman said:


> Offense is taken, not given.


wise words


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## Dork (Jul 13, 2017)

There are only two genders, male and female. Everything else is mental illness.


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## WeedZ (Jul 13, 2017)

Dork said:


> There are only two genders, male and female. Everything else is mental illness.


Everybody strap in


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## grossaffe (Jul 13, 2017)

WeedZ said:


> Everybody strap on


Fixed that for you


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## WeedZ (Jul 13, 2017)

grossaffe said:


> Fixed that for you


As soon as I saw "grossaffe quoted your post" I knew this was coming.


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## Dionicio3 (Jul 13, 2017)

Why can't we let this thread die?


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## grossaffe (Jul 13, 2017)

WeedZ said:


> As soon as I saw "grossaffe quoted your post" I knew this was coming.


low-hanging fruit,  my friend.


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## WeedZ (Jul 13, 2017)

grossaffe said:


> low-hanging fruit,  my friend.


It's still fruit


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## Quantumcat (Jun 12, 2017)

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in *her *or *his *post in [thread name]"
(In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to *her *or *his *thread [thread name]"
And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.


----------



## Deleted User (Jul 13, 2017)

Dionicio3 said:


> Why can't we let this thread die?


The ride never ends my friend


----------

