# Thanks



## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

Emo Mode Engaged:

On halloween this year, my wife told me she was leaving me. I didn't see it coming. We've been together 9 years and married for 7. We have two kids (2 & 4 yrs.) She found another man that's "just like her" and she's suddenly realized she's been dissatisfied with the marriage for years, and doesn't love me anymore.

I am devastated. It all seems like a very, very bad dream.

The joy has gone out of damn near everything in my life. Even my greatest source, my kids, when they make me smile, they also remind me I'll only be seeing them half as much from now on.

I'm a stay at home dad. My wife works and I keep kids and house. I'm seeing all too well what many women experience when the are left by their husbands. Powerlessness. I don't have very much education and while my wife has been climbing the company ladder and filling her resume, I've been changing diapers, cleaning toilets and cooking. Job skills these are not. I'm having to start over pretty much from scratch, with 100 percent more responsibilities than when I left the workforce.

Life is sucking pretty goddamn hard. I am determined though, to turn and face the sun.
My barn has burnt down, but now I can see the moon. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

This is one of the only places right now that can actually yank a smile out of me. I've found a friend or two on here as well, and I need 'em now. I've been so involved in "mothering" that I don't have much of a social life.

So, thanks guys and gals, for being a little piece of driftwood in a roaring, angry ocean.

Emo Mode Disengaged:

-mother out-


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## safariman72 (Nov 9, 2006)

Sorry to hear that mate, but your kids will keep you strong and give you something to look forward too.

Look at it this way, to get someone to do all the chores you did wont be cheap.  

Keep your head up


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## PiNa (Nov 9, 2006)

Hi there, 

I am sorry for your loss mate, but time will heal your soul and heart - that's for sure. 

BTW: How old are you?

I have a friend who have three kids and his wife was cheating on him after 7 years of marriage.
He was really devastated. But it took him one year after their divorce to get almost recovered. 
But right now he has a new girlfriend and is lucky again. 

Dont give up. Try to keep your chin up.

PiNa

BTW: dont know why but when you were writing about your "job" I saw Lynnete's Tom from Desperate Housewives :-)


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## lagman (Nov 9, 2006)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Emo Mode Disengaged



I like that my friend  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I really hope this work as a catharsis, so you can keep moving in this dirtie road we call live


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## Harsky (Nov 9, 2006)

Sorry to hear about it. How are the kids handling it? Is it going to be the whole, "mommy and daddy won't be living together anymore" explanation? Reminds me of the skit where they have to explain divorce to a kid and it ends with, "we just want you to know..... it's all your fault". My parents were once on the verge of divorce at one stage and had an arguement so big that it still scares me to this day. They're still together but I wonder what makes them stay together


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

I'm 42, my wife just turned 30 this year.
...and I guess you could say I'm a desperate housewife, synchrocity strikes again!

I know there'll be a brighter day, and that this may be a turning point for the better in my life, but right now that's hard to see because of the swirling darkness all around.

..and yes Safariman, I don't think she knows what she's getting into with the kids, part of my duties have been to keep them out of her hair to a certain extent. I hope she can rise to it for their sakes. As worried as I am for me, it all goes quadruple for them. She's in love right now though and I think it's blinding her to what the future will be like for both them and her. I've been trying to tell her we can change our circumstances, and get family therapy and try to fix the problems, but she's having none of it. She's tired of me, of her job (which she quit) and tired of the house and even the city we live in. She's moving approx. 3 hours away to live with her mom until she can get on her feet again. I don't have any idea where her new relationship will take her after that. I hope he's a decent guy, I still love her and as freaking odd as it sounds, I still want her to be happy.

Harsky: The kids have no clue, they're too young to get it. We'll have to see how it affects them when she's gone at the end of the month. My mom & dad stayed together on my account and it was pretty rough all around. My wife and I never fought that much though, and though life was kinda boring, it was never harsh. She says it'll be best for the kids this way and they'll be fine, and eventually have a much happier mom. Her parents divorced early in her childhood, and she says she turned out fine and I shouldn't be worried.  Hope she's right.

laguerzinho: You know I'm trying, and I know you're thinking about me. One day we'll be on top of a pyramid my friend! Literally and figuratively!


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 9, 2006)

mthrnite, I know I only know you from these forums, but when I read your 1st post in this thread I was sick to my stomach & heartbroken for you.  I'm 36 & have been there, done that & know the BLACK DARKNESS of feelings that you have right now.  

My 1st wife did the same thing to me out of the blue.  I thought all was fine & she did the same thing.  We had just moved to Texas, it was the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death & my younger brother was leaning on me HARD (he was suicidal) for support due to my mom's death.  Then the wife drops that same bomb on me.

I had no friends or family here in Texas & I had to get out ASAP (I left her everything due to my mind being blown) & find a place to live.  I was supporting myself by a bad/low paying job.  What a mess.  The ONLY good thing was that we didn't have any children yet.

Keep positive, and I know that is not easy.  Stay BUSY - do not sit around & mull over things.  You didn't do anything wrong (from what it sounds like) - it's all her.  I really don't think women really ever know what they want & seem to never really be happy.  You WILL get past all this & THERE WILL BE BETTER DAYS.  You will heal over time, but it will take a while.  THINGS WILL BE NORMAL AGAIN.  Believe me.  I am now remarried & happy again.

If you need ANYTHING or if there is ANYTHING I can do for you, PM me & I can give you my personal email address and/or cell phone number if you need to talk.

You are one of the MOST fun people on GBATemp & ALWAYS positive.  You ALWAYS give me something to laugh about AND something to always think about.  CONTACT ME IF YOU NEED TO.  I'm not too far in Dallas, TX.

Stay positive brother & hang in there.  Things will get better.

(Sorry for the long post peeps)


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

Thanks 5uck3rpunch for your perspective and hope and kindness. Very strange thing we have in common. Halloween was the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death too. I was very down that day, and having my mom die on Halloween was a bit of a twister in the first place, so many skeletons and tombstones, and dead leaves (used to be my fave holiday.) Then this bolt from the blue. Just a bad dream. I know many people have it worse than I do, probably a lot of folks on this board in fact, but just as all politics are local, all pain is local too. So again, thank you, and be sure I'll call on you if I'm on the brink.


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## Deleted User (Nov 9, 2006)

Hey there,

so, that's the reason for your Emo-Mode signature, mmh?! I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling really sorry for you mthrnite! I enjoy reading your (sometimes hilarious) posts in this great community and it makes me glad that all of us can give something back to you!

As PiNa already said, please, don't give up on you and your future! I hope it ends well and that you soon will feel the energy of life again, though it maybe not as easy to get to this point as we all wish it were.

My best wishes fly out to you and your kids!


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## jumpman17 (Nov 9, 2006)

My aunt had the same thing happen to her. She was married and had 2 kids but the husband left her to be with someone prettier. She quickly remarried though but unfortunately, it was a quick decision and it was the wrong man and they divorced real quick. She's been through a lot but she's an awesome aunt and she made everything work out.


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## Tri-Z (Nov 9, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss, and hopefully alimony will keep you going so that you can continue to be a stay at home dad.  "Her quiting her job will probably put a delay on that though, but atleast she will have something hanging over her head to remind her of a terrible mistake that she has made".

Hopefully time will heal your pain.


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## Mucuna (Nov 9, 2006)

We can't avoid deception and suffering in life. That's a fact.

Another fact is that you will feel a lot better as the time flows.

You may cry and fear the unknow. It's normal. Just keep moving and you will be refreshened. You know that.

Maybe you knowing that you are not the first nor the last that pass throug it, you feel lighter.

Think a way out of it!;-)


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## kingeightsix (Nov 9, 2006)

mother, i know what you feeling... that's how i felt when my ex cheated on me. i don't know about the children thing but it's a similar feeling, man.

look on the bright side, she's cutting you so you won't have to endure this pain and you can heal faster.

my buddy & one of my ex's (brother & sister) have parents who are currently still living under the same roof and the father knows that the mother is with another man yet he still puts up with it all. he asked for a divorce but she wouldn't sign the papers and she just creeps around all day & night. she's putting him through hell just because she can't let go of either one of the 2 worlds she's in. now, that's a bitch move. i heard there's more to the story but shit, man... just divorce and let the man live his life. the kids are old enough to be on their own & they can see them anytime they want... i just wanted the man to be able to find a new love and be happy.

i don't know what point i was trying to prove but just hang in there and before you know it, you'll find yourself with a handful of grapes.

just coz you're a home dawg doesn't mean you can't change your wasy and head out there to hunt, you know? i'm on house arrest and i was stressing over my ex in here for a while... when i was out it was about 6 months of stressing... and when i came in here it was 2 more months of stressing (but those 2 months of pain are prolonged by the time feeling endless in between these walls).

I DEMAND YOU GET OUT THERE, GET DRUNK, ACT LIKE A LITTLE HOPELESS FAGGOT FOR A WHILE... THEN REALIZE YOU CAN DO SOMETHING, PICK YOURSELF UP AND STAND ON YOUR OWN 2 FEET AGAIN. YOU WILL DO THIS. LIFE IS SHORT, MAN... STRIVE WITH DILIGENCE.


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

Takeshi: Thank you, it's funny that I see this board as a kind of second family, as an example, when Ray or whatever that Pshock bastard's name was was bashing you the other day, I just wanted to clock him good and tell him "Hey, you messin' with one of my boys you sonofabitch!" (I tried to keep it civil though.) I'm not saying thank you to all of you people lightly, and not trying to start a pity party or anything. I really do appreciate the community here.

Jumpman: After seeing my wife jump into a relationship so quick (she's only known the guy for less than a month) I'll refrain from being as quick to get into something else myself. I'm gonna have to go back to school (comm. tech. college) soon and hopefully I'll meet someone to lighten my days, but be sure I am not going to turn this into any more of a maelstrom for my boys than it already is by doing rash things.

Mike: At first my wife's attitude was "no child support, no alimony" but I think she's beginning to see the light of reality now, and we're talking about it. She thought initially when I mentioned those things that I was trying to seek revenge. I'm not. I just want an opportunity to give my boys as much of a quality life as she'll be able to. Equality is what I'm striving for in the settlement, and it's gonna take me a while to reach what she's able to attain now financially.

Mucuna: I have a saying in my house. Time heals all wounds, and wounds all heels. I'm juggling so many ideas of what I'll do with my life. My current aim is to first get my high school diploma equivalent, and then learn PHP and Actionscript, learn web design and have something that I can work at home with. Things are still blurry for me right now, and I'm just brainstorming, but I'm trying my best to think my way out of it.

kingeightsix:  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I don't drink but at times like this I could go for a martooni or 2!


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## OrR (Nov 9, 2006)

When I picked this up in some other thread I thought you were joking... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



I can't really help you or anything but just try to stay awesome. Life can be a bit crappy at times but don't let that get you down because it always gets better again.


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## Bitbyte (Nov 9, 2006)

Strength man, I know you'll get there! Let's hope you meet someone at college, but yeah, you should eventually be able to get over it. The community is indeed awesome, lotsa support from here 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.


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## lagman (Nov 9, 2006)

BTW, Fried God was with Penn Jillette last week, it was SO funny


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## Veho (Nov 9, 2006)

Hang in there, man.


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

QUOTE(laguerzinho @ Nov 9 2006 said:


> BTW, Fried God was with Penn Jillette last week, it was SO funnyÂ




















 one day, and I'm not kidding! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	
















bitbyte, veho, OrR, thanks, I've always heard there was honor among thieves, but now I know there's solace among pirates.
(not that you guys are pirates or anything, but you are among them 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 )


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## Hitto (Nov 9, 2006)

Eh, shame to see you're going through such hard times, man...

My advice? Let her take care of your kids for a while and take a vacation. Spend some money. Do some soul-searching. Spend a week or two without any *responsibilities*, it'll help the blues go away much faster.
And don't get ANY second thoughts about it. She forsake her responsibilities and let you and your (and her) kids down on a whim! It's time for you to treat yourself, before you think about moving on, because you need to change your mind, right now.

Don't focus on hating your ex, or thinking about her. Try to find reasonable reasons for why she might have grown bored with you, or if maybe you let yourself "slip" into "boring everyday yourself" unconsciously.

I know my ex left me because I was growing less and less in love with her, but couldn't break her heart by leaving her. It was very cowardly, I admit it, but I just couldn't leave her "like that", so I was more and more of a bastard everyday. (According to her. I just wasn't willing to go that deep into religion for her, or any woman on this planet, really.)

Sometimes, the problem - and solutions - come from within.

Now, reach for the bottom and bounce back to the top!


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

Hey Hitto, I wish I could take your vacation advice, but I gotta hit the ground runnin' on this so the bills get paid next month and the kids don't go without. I think I mentioned she quit her job and didn't line up a new one in advance. Maybe her new boyfriend has plenty of money, and won't mind paying for her and the kids and me, but I sure as hell ain't gonna count on that. I have no clue who he is or what he does, but she must have some sense of security, because we don't have any savings to speak of.

And I can't bring myself to hate her if I try, and I've tried. I guess I might later, but right now there's just too much love left in me for her.

Part of the many problems she listed with me is the religion thing. She's a Wiccan and likes the fairies and all, not extremely new agey, but enough. I'm an atheist, and though I try to be respectful, she knows I don't believe in what she does. She thinks I think less of her for her beliefs, but I'm not a conceited atheist type so she's wrong about that. She doesn't believe me though.

One day all this will be sorted out one way or another, but now everything's in flux so I gotta be on the ball. The only reason I'm on here so much today, is I'm just so tired from lack of sleep and food. I'm taking today to rest a bit, and you people are kind enough to write to me and try to help, so I'm trying to keep up and write you back.


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## Eruonen (Nov 9, 2006)

I really feel sorry for you.
I remember when my parents got divorced years ago that my dad was devistated. It lasted 2 years, but he's got psychological problems (manic depression) and since I don't think you do, you'll probably recover faster.

I'm sure you'll get over it.
How old are the kids? You might want to consider talking about it to them anyway, so they know what's going on. My sister was very young too, but my parents still told her about it.


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## PiNa (Nov 9, 2006)

I have to admit I am really surprised how old guyz are gathered in this amazing community. I will turn 36 next year and I expected 99% of teens to be here only. It seems I was wrong. That's good 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





The other thing I learned during my life is ... if there is a situation like yours, it has no sense to try to solve things right now with hot mind. As you already wrote she's in love and she doesnt act "normally". In usual cases it takes from 3 months up to two years to wear-off that "love on the first sight". Been there done that. You may think you just found the best soul on the earth to live with but it will turn out to be just another ordinary woman. 

Maybe when she will calm down, she will realize that she made a huge mistake .... who knows. But it will take lots of time. Who knows what destiny will bring in the future. 

Just stay busy, positive ... and try to go out with your friends, as the loneliness is no good at this point of time.


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

I'm talking to my four year old, but he just says ok and goes on playing. My wife and I are gonna get together on it soon, and maybe he'll pay more attention to it then. In the meantime, I'm talking about my wife to them in glowing terms, so that when they part from me and can't go back to daddy whenever they want to, maybe they'll know there's no blame from me, and won't blame her either. Of course my two year old is oblivious and probably will be for the next 2 or 3 years. I'm mainly trying to prepare my oldest to deal without me.

I have anxiety disorder, but have medication that pretty much kills it. Stuff like this makes it harder, but I've got backup drugs for when things go really bad. All in all I don't consider it a handicap. I'm lucky that way for sure. Prior to the medication if this had happened it would have been much harder to deal with.

edit: Didn't see your post PiNa, yeah I was surprised there was more than a few old-timers around here too. There's even one guy older than me!
Anyway, I too hope she sees it as a mistake one day, and I hope it's not true what she says about it being hopeless between us. I'm not gonna carry a torch, or I'm gonna try not to. My friends and kids will drive my lonely away, so I have no plans to "get back into action" any time remotely soon. However, if some time in the future she rediscovers love for me, it's my hope that there will still be enough left within me to reboot the family. I really want the boys to have two parents that are close.


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 9, 2006)

Well said mthrnite.  You do what you can to be happy.  I couldn't get mad @ my ex @ the time either.  It would have been easier if I could.  It's hard to just be going straight down the road in life & then all of a sudden swing a hard left turn like this.  It will be a big change for all of you if she goes thru with it.  I hope she comes to her senses & sees how stable a life she has w/ you & the kids.  They always say "you don't know what you have until it's gone" & they are right.  If she does go thru with it, she will notice what she had with you & the family & regret her actions.


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 9, 2006)

WEIRD NETWORK GLITCH CAUSED DOUBLE POST - SORRY!

I'll take advantage of this though:

Hey PiNa:

Who said being 36 is old!?


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## Extreme Coder (Nov 9, 2006)

Sorry man...
for not posting earlier and showing my condolences and also...
I don't know how it really feels taking care of a family, since I'm only 13 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 But, I can tell you that I did go through a similar thing when my Dad died earlier this year 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 TBH, having people like you, Tshu, and TPi are one of the main reasons I frequent the GBATemp forums 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Hang in there, and keep going strong
Extreme Coder


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## mthrnite (Nov 9, 2006)

5uck3rpunch: Well man, I tried to show her in token ways how I cared in the first few days after she told me.
I carved a pumpkin in her likeness, here's a pic of it now, it's going pretty south but you get the idea:





Also wrote her a song.. Only had a few hours to do it before she left for that weekend, so it's a really rough version. I haven't had the soul power to bring myself back to it to clean it up. Here it is in it's rough form. Yes it's very schmaltzy, if you get icked out easily, don't listen:
If I Only Knew

I also tried to ease her way in any way I could, but nothing really worked and she didn't comment much on the pumpkin, and none on the song, so.. I guess it was worth trying, about like anything else.

ExtremeCoder: thanks for the condolences, and sorry about your dad, as I said before, I know my life isn't worse than a million other people right now. Loss is hard regardless though, and I feel for you too my brother.

...and BTW, if you hear screaming in the song, that's not me wringing her neck (haha) it's my kids wondering vocally why I'm not attending to their every need at the moment. Does put me in the mind of that "Love Rollercoaster" song though, if any of you remember that little urban legend.


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## Deleted User (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 9 2006 said:


> Takeshi: Thank you, it's funny that I see this board as a kind of second family, as an example, when Ray or whatever that Pshock bastard's name was was bashing you the other day, I just wanted to clock him good and tell him "Hey, you messin' with one of my boys you sonofabitch!" (I tried to keep it civil though.) I'm not saying thank you to all of you people lightly, and not trying to start a pity party or anything. I really do appreciate the community here.


I just felt like you did say it when I was reading your post in that thread! And, yes, this community is so awesome, everytime I check the board and it says something like 'offline for maintenance' or even if it lags a little, I feel like I'm a bit lost without you and all the other people! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  I have to admit that I actually felt really bad when I read your post about your wife leaving you and I kept thinking about it all day (even when I was in school, after work)! [I also couldn't even use a smiley in my first post - which is a very rare occasion.]
For that 'pity party thing': I never took it that way (just wanted to say this) ... it's good to know that gaming is not the only thing that we're able to talk about over here at gbatemp.

In my opinion, getting your high school diploma equivalent is a good decision and with your 'photoshopping' skills and creativity some good web designs should be easily accomplished after learning how to handle the rest of the tools.


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## lookout (Nov 10, 2006)

mthrnite there no time to lose win her back...


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

Thanks again Takeshi.. your words and thoughts, along with everybody elses really touch me.
..and I feel the same way when the board goes down... reload, nope. reload, nope... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



I hope I've got some talents that I can put to use, and I'm both a little scared and a little excited about school. I think I can do it though, it's just gonna be a big change from what I'm used to. It's been a looong time since I've graced any hallowed halls.

y'know today's been a long one. I'm faced with the prospect of "her" going away for the weekend again. She says she's going to her mother's, but I'm really not too sure about that. She's home now and we just finished dinner. I've been making her favorite meals all week and tonight I decided not to say anything at all about the seperation. It's hard, not to talk about it because that's how I solve problems, verbally. So I've kept mum and listened to her talk about work stuff and she's fairly cheery, and it I'm keeping my sad face tucked away. I keep getting glimpses of the normality that was with us a few weeks ago. It's easy to pretend in short bursts that nothing is wrong at all. Anyway, like I said today was hard, but I've read and reread this thread top to bottom at least 50 times it seems like... I'm honored that you people give a damn about a faceless guy who's down on his luck. Nobody's said one bad thing about me either, and that feels real nice. However, I am waiting for Yuyuyup to come charging in and call me a pussy or something. _That_  would make me laugh! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Hell, the thought of it makes me laugh! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




You guys are golden, the lot of you!

..and lookout, would that it were that easy, I've certainly tried. Maybe her plans will self destruct and she'll have second thoughts one day, but trying to win her back is not an option anymore. If she comes back it'll be of her own volition.



So it goes...


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## Linkiboy (Nov 10, 2006)

Wow  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I feel sorry for you Mthrnite, sadly there's nothing I can give you except my sympathy and some crazy advice. That was my sympathy, now here's my crazy advice.

Start a website hosting funny pictures, and get people to advertise for you. If it's good, it will spread through word of mouth, and maybe become the next FunnyJunk(in terms of revenue from GoogleAds and PartyPoker popups).

You never know, it may work 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




. 

Also, 

Don't join the millitary right now. If you can, join when the war that's currently going on is over, and then spend about 2 years in there for college funds/house payments.


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## lookout (Nov 10, 2006)

You should really put your self together mthrnite kids are very importen to you and your family. 
I'am sure it a big misunderstanding boths of you, you already gone far in her life 9 years and it dose mean alot things 
she should know it hard to start over again with someone - and it seen you never spend quality time with her and family.
I think she wanted you to change and spend time with her..


dun start off in some miserable life and Suffering yourself with the kids
I understand how you felt about given-life up - really you do need her, 
you just get her back and do things right again.


give her a call, ask her if she have time - out for dinner
bring your kids to see her and wear some smart like suit

and spend quality times............


getting a jobs or studying that goods to start - joining the millitary your nut!

good luck


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(Takeshi @ Nov 9 2006 said:


> QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 9 2006 said:
> 
> 
> > Takeshi: Thank you, it's funny that I see this board as a kind of second family, as an example, when Ray or whatever that Pshock bastard's name was was bashing you the other day, I just wanted to clock him good and tell him "Hey, you messin' with one of my boys you sonofabitch!" (I tried to keep it civil though.) I'm not saying thank you to all of you people lightly, and not trying to start a pity party or anything. I really do appreciate the community here.
> ...




@ Takeshi: Dude, I don't know how old you are, but VERY WELL SPOKEN!  I feel like I have a friend in Germany knowing you.


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

Linki: thanks and you never know, maybe I'll hunt down Ebaum, shoot him and take his site...
1. Steal Ebaums world
2. ?
3. PROFIT!





..and lookout, she's still living here except for weekends. We're hashing out the seperation agreement, very slowly. I've done everything I could think of to try to convince her to stay, and gone above and beyond what I've thought myself capable of, especially in my current state. Nothing's working. I even told her I'd move in with her at her mom's and we'd try again on her home turf. It didn't make a dent. Not a dent. She's already in love with someone else and there's just no getting around it. She's done stuff this week that I could call nothing less than heartless. She's blind to me, at least until the shine wears off of the new guy, if indeed it does. So it goes...


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## Linkiboy (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 9 2006 said:


> Linki: thanks and you never know, maybe *I'll hunt down Ebaum, shoot him and take his site...*
> 1. Steal Ebaums world
> 2. ?
> 3. PROFIT!
> ...


...or shoot the bastard that stole your wife


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## lookout (Nov 10, 2006)

If she's really in love with someone she really want you to change, it really hard for her forget about you and the kids. 
if she stay here druing the week with you and kid, you should knew she can't think leaving everything behind mean you still have time to change this arounds

I do understand if she's really in love with someone reason of him $hit, etc.. this really tell me that you not spending any quality time with her  
and not doing things as she wanted.. 

nobody happy talk about seperation agreement not even you or even her - you really need to tell her to "forget the seperation agreement and start 
from the beging!" "which is love"....  it wrong to say that to her " I even told her I'd move in with her at her mom's?" it sound you really weak and can't support your self...
be a man do things right  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 don't tell her things like this just let her thinks, she never tell you why she gone off over the weekend - 
it seen she no longer trusted you - telling her about your feeling and what you do? it not going work and have to show her your feeling and let her re-think again... 


just take her out for dinner with kids to a chinese restaurant or a restaurant she like and tell her that "you wanted to spend few time with her and with the kids" 
mthrnite you really need her back, dun Lock thing away, this guy have notting more then you have now and you never seen him or know about him
he could never exist?

You should also speak to her friends and tell them you worry about her and wanted her back.. don't say anythings about this guys, etc.. just play along 
as you dun known...



tips
-----
buy some red rose and place it on the table at home and write a tag said "pls stay" (this tell her everytime she see or touch, that you still love her)
and kept it lives and rich so you don't have to worry about her love to you. it already tolds you


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## lagman (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(Linkiboy @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> ...or shoot the bastard that stole your wife



As perfect as that sounds it´s not really a option, ´cause if you shoot he, there will be another one, and another......

If she have decided to leave, it´s her decision, maybe sometime she realize that she was wrong and she may wants to get back, then it will be a mthr´s decision. A hard one


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## lookout (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(Linkiboy @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 9 2006 said:
> 
> 
> > Linki: thanks and you never know, maybe *I'll hunt down Ebaum, shoot him and take his site...*
> ...








*We found a guy bleed to death right after he 
shoted by a 17mm sniper...*


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## lookout (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> If she have decided to leave, it´s her decision, maybe sometime she realize that she was wrong and she may wants to get back, then it will be a mthr´s decision. A hard oneÂ



A decision coming back it not hard for him but hard for her
it be very difficult to trust someone like this.........


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## Linkiboy (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(lookout @ Nov 9 2006 said:


> QUOTE(Linkiboy @ Nov 10 2006 said:
> 
> 
> > QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 9 2006 said:
> ...


Objection!


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

It's complicated.


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## tshu (Nov 10, 2006)

mthrnite, I'm sorry to hear this. But it's good to have an outlet like this place to deal with troubles, isn't it.

by the way, I just listened to your music, (and also realised that mthr in your name meant mother). Cool stuff!


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

I just yelled at my wife's new boyfriend while she was out in the yard talking to him on the phone. I told him he's fucking up our marriage and our kids, and he has no fucking heart. I then ranted at my wife that she's hurting the kids by not trying to fix things. I told her she was wrong. I stood up and turned into a stereotypical enraged male. I thought it might help so I did it. It's not me, but I did it. I covered that angle, and I hate my fucking self for it, but I had to. I yelled and stomped and shook my finger and cursed and cursed and cursed. I'm not thinking right, this is so fucked up.

and i'm still here

don't let anybody tell you it's easy to be a gentle man. The lizard man lurks beneath.

tweet  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 tweet

oh, and thank you tshu.

and lookout, you're so off base it ain't even funny, but I thank you all the same amigo.

i thik I'll go to sleep now.

yes i'm cracking.

sorry about that, I erased all the bad parts so not to get modified.

forgive plzz


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## lagman (Nov 10, 2006)

Oh pal, no.
I can´t really imagine what you´re going through, but that was too much 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.
Sleep is the best thing to do, hope you read this tomorrow.

I think that when you´re on such a hard moment you need to think twice EVERYTHING you do.
I don´t really trust in the pills to solve emotional issues, yet I don´t really know if some of those issues are that hard.

I hope everything goes fine tomorrow


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## .TakaM (Nov 10, 2006)

damn, sorry to hear it man..
9 years, I cant get past shes not willing to see if things will get a bit more interesting to her... 

well keep your head up, she sounds like shes setting herself up for failure


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

I been triying to type something coherent but can't manage it. This is why I don't drink.'
trying to decide between the flotsom with the duck sauce or jetsum with teh soy. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



wish me luck!


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## PiNa (Nov 10, 2006)

mthrnite, little word of advise ... I will repeat myselft again ... if she's already in love with someone, there is no chance to change it ... at least for now. The only way is to accept it and be patient. Doing anything to convince her to stay (from painted pumpking to yelling at here new boyfriend) has no sense and will show you in a bad light one day.

Been there done that. And I also didnt listen to my best friend who told me the same things I am writing to you now.

I know how you feel. Time is passing by and the possibility of her leaving forever is getting closer and you feel that you HAVE TO do something. But in fact, you HAVE NOT. The best way is to do nothing, just be yourself. It will be hard, but I am 100% sure it will work.

If she told you about her plans to leave you, she probably made-up her mind already. And you cant change it right now. First, she have to calm down, get back to reality and then you will have a chance. She ignoring your song and painted pumpkin is the proof.

We have a nice saying here:  Patience brings roses!


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

PiNa, you are right. My desperation gets the best of me. I said some bad things tonight, that I might have to regret. Pressures just gets unbearable and I want to wake her up. But you are right. I'll see what happens tomorrow, I'll only see her for a few minutes before she leaves. I'll be civil this time. It's gonna be a right miserable weekend. I gotta get some sleep. I'll keep you guys posted.


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## PiNa (Nov 10, 2006)

Just try to walk in her shoes to understand her feelings. There is that new guy - she feels fine with him, she maybe loves him and on the other side there is you. The guy who wants her back. He's so desperate to get her back that composes song and does things (good and bad) he hasnt done for a long time. Who will you choose to be with? It's no brainer I guess.

(When I was in your situation (had no kids) my girlie told me, that she'd love to get flowers and other gifts from me, but sice she was already in love with someone else, she felt quite bothered by them.) 

Your only chance in this situation is to be that good guy she spent some years with. There is still possibility her current love will wear-off and there will be you, her husband supporting her. Ready to listen and feel for her. But be prepared it will take some time. But it will be worth it, trust me


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## kingeightsix (Nov 10, 2006)

mother, if it makes you feel any better i'll stop talking to my new found angel and go to thailand to change my sexuality and then become your next wife! hahahahahaha

ooooh... i just read about that whole yelling @ the new man shit...

let me tell you my experience... my ex gf came to me one night and cried in my arms... we had intimate sex and then the next day she left for work. i was left with thoughts in my head (is she coming back to me now?)... so i called her and wanted to confirm to ease my mind... and she told me she might stick with the new guy... oh FUCKEN great... so i sent the guy an email telling him what had happened and he had the right to know... and i regretted it... i had COMPLETELY fucked up ANY chances...

but... i could give a fuck now... i've got the angel i've always wanted =]


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## PiNa (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(kingeightsix @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> but... i could give a fuck now... i've got the angel i've always wanted =]



Dont want to spoil your fun, but give it 2 years and then come back to us to share your feelings.

Falling in love is always easy, but when chemistry stop working then the real life begins.


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## OSW (Nov 10, 2006)

being so young, i can't really comment on your experience or give you reliable advice.
I haven't really spoken to you before (regrettably, although i'm new here), but as a fellow human being, i'll support you all the way!
The best advice i can give is;
That if you haven't been crying already, have a good bawl, clear yourself out, then pick your chin up man!
Sure, try your best to patch things up and recover, but above all, take care of yourself. Sometimes you might forget how important you are too. I'm sure you're really important to your kids too, even if they aren't showing it much (as their age pemits).
So in all, I hope you grasp back control of your life, and fling yourself into a brighter future.

If i can be even the tiniest help of all, i will try my best,

Stay strong brother,
OSW


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## nintendofreak (Nov 10, 2006)

mthrnite, 
just make sure you dont give up, and as mentioned before - there will be better days.  I know its hard to get out of something like that especially after so many years. Im 18, and just got out of a 1.5 year relationship, and it was tough ( i know it doesnt even compare, but i feel it a bit) but just make sure you dont do anything that's going to make you leave forever, cause then we'll all miss you here 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 and yes, you are one of the funniest people here (hah that "chacker - chezker - chineeze checkers" thing XD ha.

Dont give up! There will ALWAYS be better days no matter what!


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## kingeightsix (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(PiNa @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> QUOTE(kingeightsix @ Nov 10 2006 said:
> 
> 
> > but... i could give a fuck now... i've got the angel i've always wanted =]
> ...



yeah, i sorta agree with you there, pina... but this one's been a friend of mine for 5 years... the asian scene in toronto is diff... you normally meet a chick, bang & then end up in a relationship if you're 'compatible'... and those always turn out bad... so i actually believe this one's gon work out diff.


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 10, 2006)

mthrnite:  You are a far better man than I.  I would have lost it a LONG time ago with her.  But that's not the right thing to do.  It pushes MOST women away.  My ex hated when I did that.......and when I beaned her in the head with the wedding ring I ripped off my finger & told her to shove it since it meant nothing to her anymore.  It's funny now, but I was PISSED then when I did that.

She WILL come around & realize this is a mistake.  They ALL do.  Just it's usually too late when they realize it.  It even happens with male friends that I have that ALWAYS regret it too late.

Mine came crying back way later & admitted everything I wanted to hear.  How she was wrong, dumb for doing it & how no one ever treated her as good as I did.  I LOVED hearing it & then told her thanx but we could never get back after what she did to me.  It felt great.  BUT.......I'm a person that holds grudges for a LONG time.  It must be the Italian in me.  You may be a person that can forgive your wife.  I couldn't.  It's hard to recover from a betrayal like that & being kicked when you are down like I was (and you too - meaning dealing with your mom's passing).

I would suggest now that you vented to her & the new jerk & got that off your chest, be as gentlemanly as you can.  Not a wuss, but stick to your guns.  I know it's hard but it's better for you (her too) & for the kids.  I know you'd hate to have them catch you in the middle of something like that.  But BELIEVE ME, I know where you are coming from - it's WAY HARD to keep your cool (and senses) in a situation like this.

I do have to say that I'm pretty worried that you say that you took too many pills.  That's not good for you right now (or ever).  You need to have a clear & sharp mind to work thru this & also for the kids.  Like I said, I'm here dude.


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

My friends,
It was indeed a rough night. I reread the stuff I wrote to you guys during all of it because I don't remember some.
I'm very ashamed.
I think she knows how ashamed I am, she was concerned for me this morning. She let me talk and talked to me back. I asked her before she left if even though she wasn't in love with me, if she still loved me. She said she did, and she told me "I love you". I think she knows why I did what I did. Her dad was an alchoholic who eventually committed suicide. I actually think I got through a bit in my horrible actions last night, but I think most, if not all of it was cancelled out by how I did it.
She said she would call me twice a day to check on me and the kids while she is gone. She'll be back sunday night (it's friday morning here now.) I told her I would be friendly and do my best not to be obsessive.

PiNa, thank you specifically, your clarity is astounding, your advice, beyond reproach.
5uck3rpunch, thanks for the understanding and for staying close.
nintendofreak, don't worry, there will come a day when I'm funny again.
OSW, young people such as yourself around here continue to astound me, when me and my gen pass the torch, I hope it'll be made up largely of people like you.
tshu, a vote of confidence from you goes a lot farther than you can imagine, thanks.
Lookout, I confess, I couldn't understand 90 % of what you were saying last night, but I was coherant enough to appreciate your efforts to help, thank you very much.
.TakaM, thanks brother.
Finally kingeightsix, if all this doesn't work out, and you still wanna come date me, you don't have to cut your penis off, I wouldn't sweat a little thing like that. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



(hahaha, still a little funny left to squeak out of my throbbing brittle head!)
I'll be around. Cheers guys.

edit: Linki & Lag, thanks to you too of course.


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## PiNa (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> PiNa, thank you specifically, your clarity is astounding, your advice, beyond reproach.



You know what , personal experience is priceless. Few years ago I went thru the similar stuff. We had no children, but the rest was almost the same. It took us almost 2 years to get back together. And I learned lots of things. It's my pleasure to share them with somebody who may find them useful. 

But the problem always is the mind and impatience. I remember myself trying other ways just to find out it is nothing but another dead end. Keep your chin up and be yourself. 

Good Luck.


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(PiNa @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 10 2006 said:
> 
> 
> > PiNa, thank you specifically, your clarity is astounding, your advice, beyond reproach.
> ...


Well, thank you again. The things you say are the things my "right" mind knows. I am however composed of 60% passion, and sometimes that level rises to envelope me completely. I'll endeaver to keep your advice close to my heart.


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## GameGeezer (Nov 10, 2006)

Man.  I just read this thread.  I'm the guy that is even older than you.  Not that much mind you 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 .  I've been married 20 years and understand how devistating things must be for you.  I don't have sage advise other than get yourself out of your current situation where you are dwelling on your kids and your relationship.  Find a place where you can be optimistic about the future.  I think Community college is a start and maybe a part time job to start would be good to decrease the thinking time and introduce you to new people.  Also, don't depend too much on the online community for 'help'.  There are alot of people on line who communicate on here because they are depressed and they can bring you down further than you want to be by empathising with you a little more than you need.  In times like this you need family and structure in your real life.  Oh yeah and see your doctor right away.  A doctor would be a good third party to talk to and might be able to tweek your medications to a place that you are more comfortable with now.  Things will be better but you've got to take the steps to get there.

I wish you well.

Geezing,


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## lookout (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Lookout, I confess, I couldn't understand 90 % of what you were saying last night, but I was coherant enough to appreciate your efforts to help, thank you very much.



I'am sorry mthrnite about last night, I was miserable 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 myself (can't sleep and end up here)
and I hope everythings work out for you - take care your self and your children...


*As long your here, we never leave you!!*


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

Sage advice GameGeezer,
I do think there is a light at the end of this, however it runs it's course with my wife. I'm a high school dropout, not an idiot mind you, but have been guilty of pretending my lack of formal education didn't matter. Turns out, I think a lot of my problems are rooted in the low self-esteem of seeing my friends surpass me tidily over the years because they actually went through that fire and forged themselves into the community and it's standards. I probably would have went back to school a long time before now, but got caught up in a marriage and kids.

The wrong taks I tooks by not completing school put me on a path that led me to being a father, but maybe not as good of a father and husband as I could have been. Taking these steps towards education, I think, will not only make me more desirable to my wife, or future mate, but more importantly to myself.

I have a good doctor, she basically saved my sanity by prescribing meds that corrected a glaringly wrong part of my life. So seeing her now is a good idea, and I will do that.

Thanks for your advice. I understand what you say about relying on the "online world", but they are not my only supporters right now. However, they are very important, and like you, do help quite a bit. I can't pretend I'll do everything right, but I'm trying, and you good folks here are helping a lot. An extended family is a valuable thing.


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

Sorry, doublepost wierdness..

Anyway, don't sweat it Lookout, like I said, I was having a hard time walking much less reading, so your lovely prose that I always enjoy was beyond my powers to comprehend. I still say thank you!


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## Veho (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> An extended family is a valuable thing.


Awww, shucks   
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Can we call you "Papa mthrnite" now?


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(veho @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 10 2006 said:
> 
> 
> > An extended family is a valuable thing.
> ...


I prefer mother, but you can call my anything you want....
JUST CALL ME!


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## Linkiboy (Nov 10, 2006)

Papa mother


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

QUOTE(Linkiboy @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> Papa mother


That'll work.. sounds a little dirty though


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

Just a little update: My wife should be calling any minute to tell me she's off work and off to her mom's for the weekend. I'm gonna try to hold my cool for the whole weekend. The boys are here with me and we're playin' blocks, watchin' cartoons and eatin' the hell out of a bowl of grapes. All this goodness might change tonight at some point, but I'm holding firm on doing my best to enjoy them and get to bed early... well, don't know if I can do that last thing, but I got a season of Aqua Teen HF waitin for me, and some back programs of the Pen Jilette show, and a little bit of a hankering to play some hard Oendan tonight, so I'm gonna try to keep busy with fun stuff.

I talked to a very knowledgable friend today, and she gave me a lot of confidence that I'm gonna be able to keep my oldest down here for school when it starts next year. That lifted me up a lot. If I can keep focused on them and not on losing the woman I love, I think it'll go a lot better for me. My sense of humor is starting to come back a little, and that's been a rare beast indeed lately.

So, here's hoping I'm on a legitimate upswing. I know from experience that the floor has a tendancy to drop, but I think last night taught me a few things about keeping my fingers strong so I can at least hold on to the edge when it goes.

Thank you good people for making me feel part of the larger whole around here. You seriously gave me a lot of strength and wisdom. I am in your debt.

So here's a dollar!


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## lagman (Nov 10, 2006)

It´s so good to hear that my friend!
I really hope you can keep your children,´cause I don´t think that anyone will want to separate two little brothers, maybe you can keep both, it will be so awesome 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.

And, if you don´t mind, I´ll change that dollar for some grapes 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.


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## Linkiboy (Nov 10, 2006)

Well... keep going strong, Mthrnite. 

I can't empathize much, but a girl, who I've loved for 3 years, is going out with my best friend. :'(

I know I'm 13 and violated COPPA laws when I joined this March, and "have my whole life ahead of me", but I thought I should let you know that I feel your pain to some extent and that I'm not just throwing out random words hoping they will make you feel better.


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## mthrnite (Nov 10, 2006)

Lag: too late, ate the grapes 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Linki: I said it before and I'll say it again.. Pain is local, and three years is a long time... sorry buddy.
I don't take you any less seriously in your kind words and thoughts just because you're young. Believe that!


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## TPi (Nov 10, 2006)

posting in mthrnite support


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## GameGeezer (Nov 11, 2006)

He heard about the dollar


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## mthrnite (Nov 11, 2006)

thanks TPi


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## lexus-8 (Nov 11, 2006)

sorry but why are you posting this on a games website ????


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## lagman (Nov 11, 2006)

QUOTE(lexus-8 @ Nov 11 2006 said:


> sorry but why are you posting this on a games website ????



Oh what an ass, did you see the section of the thread?


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## mthrnite (Nov 11, 2006)

QUOTE(lexus-8 @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> sorry but why are you posting this on a games website ????




Because I've seen what some of the folks on here have done for others, and I've been a part of helping one or two people here myself.
I created the topic to sincerely thank the community for what they had done for me.
I apologize for inappropriate posts I've made. I haven't been contacted by any moderators except to show support themselves.
At any time they deem this topic inappropriate I have no problem with them warning me or deleting the topic altogether.
So far I've been lucky that most people posting give a damn.
..and most people interested in gaming tend towards the gaming forums, not the off-topic chat forum.

I can't think of anything else atm, was that a good enough answer?


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## nintendofreak (Nov 11, 2006)

QUOTE(lexus-8 @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> sorry but why are you posting this on a games website ????



Its not only a game website, its like were all a big family here! All 50 something thousand of us ha.


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## OrR (Nov 11, 2006)

QUOTE(lexus-8 @ Nov 11 2006 said:


> sorry but why are you posting this on a games website ????


This isn't a website, it's a community. Imagine a few guys meeting to play skat for a few years. Sure, they might meet to play the game but they'll also become good friends and talk about personal things, politics and everything else. The same thing is happening here. This might be virtual but it still involves real people.


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## Psyfira (Nov 11, 2006)

QUOTE(OrR @ Nov 11 2006 said:


> This isn't a website, it's a community. Imagine a few guys meeting to play skat for a few years. Sure, they might meet to play the game but they'll also become good friends and talk about personal things, politics and everything else. The same thing is happening here. This might be virtual but it still involves real people.


*standing ovation* Someone get this guy a cookie 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 And throw in a few for mthrnite + the kiddies while you're at it


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## mthrnite (Nov 12, 2006)

Well guys/gals, the weekend is going pretty good, relatively anyway. Today I met three ladies that live in the neighborhood, two of them have kids close in age to my sons'. The kids played together in our little village park and we sat and talked for over an hour while we watched them. It was very nice, they were very nice, and I think they thought I was very nice.

Nice.

It's getting much more obvious that my wife and "the new guy" are pretty much head over heels for each other. That cuts both ways for me since I both want her back and want her to be happy. I'm not beating myself up as much now though. I realize we're both at fault for the marraige going astray. We both ignored things we shouldn't have. There's still a tiny chance that she'll reconsider, and I'd take her back in a second despite all the hurt, and work like hell to correct things between us for the sake of the kids. It's a tiny hope though, and I'm prepared to give my boys all they need to pull them through this mess without them getting screwed up in the process.

So it goes..

Alright, well, I'm doing better so I'm gonna slow the posts on this topic on my end and let it float down to the bottom.
Thanks one more time for being so kind, all of you, sincerely. This is a great community, and I'm honored that you'd have me part of it.
You're good people, and good company!

Oh and by the way, thanks guys for the assurances that it was ok for me to talk about this with you, though I did see lexus' point I think.

..and thanks Psyfira, for da cooookies!


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## Deleted User (Nov 13, 2006)

It's good to hear you're doing a bit better mthrnite! I was very busy this weekend hence I didn't post that much. But since I read that thing you said about choosing between knifes and medication I was a tad worried, but I'm very glad it worked out well! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




And just as a side note... I listened to your song and (though it's a rough cut) I really do like it!



QUOTE(5uck3rpunch @ Nov 10 2006 said:


> @ Takeshi: Dude, I don't know how old you are, but VERY WELL SPOKEN!Â I feel like I have a friend in Germany knowing you.Â


Thanks, you sure have! (I'm 24 btw.)


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 13, 2006)

I have been busy this weekend also, but have been popping in & reading this thread on & off & glad things are turining out ok so far mthrnite.  I have had you in the back of my mind all weekend hoping you are OK.  Sounds good & glad you got out a little to spend time w/ other peeps, especially women.  Good choice.  Here comes another work week...uggh...hope all of you had a great weekend.  I have a LOT of respect for all of you (except lexus-8).


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## Linkiboy (Nov 13, 2006)

Update please, Mthrnite


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## mthrnite (Nov 13, 2006)

I'm alright Linki... She got back tonight and it hurt to see her. I tried to talk to her but there was a John Mayer concert on tv that she had to watch. More important to listen to some overated pop star (sorry fans) than communicate with me.

Y'know she's right about not having _some_ things in common.. Apart from Queen, Wierd Al, and Jill Sobule, I can't abide by most of the stuff she listens to. Goes double in her direction. She's not a big fan of Slayer or Zoogz Rift, or Sparks. I'm eccentric in my tastes and she's a lot more mainstream. I guess while I'm trying to console myself about all this I can come to the vivid realization that I'll never have to listen to another goddam Everclear album as long as I live.

..and that's a good thing!

I'm sure now we're not going to agree about custody of the boys. She wants them to go to school were she's at (my oldest starts kindergarten next year) and I think they'd be better off with me. Not that she's not really smart.. I'm just a better teacher I think. I'm the one who answers him when he asks why the sky's blue and stuff like that. Recently he's got it in his head that he has to have a prune in order to poop. She tells him he doesn't need it, then I tell him how the digestive system works.

Anyway, I'm maintaining ok. Still love her, and still sad, but maintaining.

Sleepy too... so I'll end here.


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## Satummoo (Nov 13, 2006)

I hope only the best for you 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Best way like someone else mentioned is to keep yourself busy.  Working out or getting excersize also helps a ton with mental health and dealing with stress.  From the sounds of it, I don't see why you shouldn't have custody of the kids too.


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## Opium (Nov 13, 2006)

I arrived to the ball late. I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I hope you and your kids manage to get through these tough times. GBAtemp will always be here when you need us


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## mthrnite (Nov 13, 2006)

Satummoo: Thanks, and I think you're right about the excercise. Right now I'm working on the concept of "eating" again. When I'm depressed the appetite is always the first to go and the last to come back. I've been living off of bananas and liquid lunch (supplement drinks, not martinis) for a while, but slowly I've been forcing myself to eat more real food. Lost 10 pounds in the past 2 weeks though (lose weight now! ask me how!) and at my age that's not easy to do! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I'm definitely going to be working on bettering myself all the way around now. If this is a door closing in my life, I'm damn sure gonna pry open a window, or two.

Opium: Thank you very very much! You guys run a smart ship and I am frankly in awe of you. I know I should be posting this kind of stuff on a "divorce forum" or something of that ilk, and I may do that yet..  but I'm a gamer and you guys are like me in a lot of ways. I feel comfortable here, I've said that before, but it bears repeating. This is an intensely uncomfortable thing I'm going through, and it's great to be able to sit down in this virtual living room with a few thousand friends and relax a bit. Laguerzhino, 5uck3rpunch, OrR, Orc, Linkiboy, tshu, TPi, Takeshi, Extreme Coder, SSJ Zac, and many more people around here have been absolutely golden to me, inspirational, and hella fun to be "around".

When I get solid on my feet one day, I'm sure I'll be meeting up with at least some of you in real life, and the drinks are on me when I do!


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 13, 2006)

@ Opium:  You rock.  Well said!

@ The rest of us:  It sux to have one of our own go thru hell like this & I know this is a "gaming" forum, but we ALL can learn a little about life thru experiences like this.  Even though it's a crappy life lesson, one of us may walk away from this learning something to help ourselves in the future.  So I don't see this thread as being a bad thing in any way being on GBATemp (Don't feel guilty in any way mthrnite about it being here).  MOSTLY everyone is very friendly here & that is COOL.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




PS:  Happy Monday & I hope we all have strength to get thru the work week!


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## kingeightsix (Nov 13, 2006)

@ mother: i'm glad you're looking up, brother. don't go for any hookers but i'd say you try and beat some pussy up. it's stress-relieving and it'll get you hungry (always gives me munchies) but just make sure you use a jimmy hat! i always have an apetite, though. i love my food so even if a girl breaks my heart, my stomache won't. after my girl cheated on me i ended up getting my life together and making lots of quick cash so i was able to eat out at nice restaurants all the time... i guess the point here is; treat yourself to a nice meal out at a nice restaurant. bring a buddy or a blow up doll so you can have someone to conversate with.

BUT... you're feeling better, right? because i'm really scared of that knife near my li'l man down there... i don't know if i can go through the transformation! lol if you're ever down in toronto, though... holler at me and i'll sneak out of house arrest to show you where the party's at. just hope we don't get pulled over or i'm facing 2 more years (in jail, not house).

@ ALL: i was watching this dvd called "the secret" and it's about how to be successful in life (in all areas of life; wealth, health, romance, etc.). you all should check it out as it is VERY inspiring & it'll make your life a little more easy to cope with. even if "the secret" doesn't work for you, you'll have a kick when you're atleast trying it. this is very off topic but it's something that'll lighten the mood in here. i really recommend it.


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## mthrnite (Nov 13, 2006)

Ha, kingeightsix, I get your drift but I assure you I show my feline earth-cohabitants nothing but respect. Money's uber-tight and gonna get tighter, so as far as treating myself goes, good company is about the best I can do... and "Jimmy" is gonna hafta rest a while.. I'm one of those people who has to be in a relationship before any of "that" goes on, regardless of the "equipment" involved.

..and put the knife down, you're scaring him.


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## lagman (Nov 13, 2006)

It´s really great to see how the things are getting better.
Hopefully, soon you´ll say to us about your son´s first school day.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




You know you´ve a friend here  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




And yes, GBAtemp rocks!


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## nintendofreak (Nov 13, 2006)

Its good to hear your better 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Keep it up, and yes exercise helps 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	






QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 13 2006 said:


> Money's uber-tight and gonna get tighter



1st. its a good thing you have that flash kit no? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




2nd. GBAtemp is free 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




3rd. haha jimmy Hat


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## matt1freek (Nov 13, 2006)

Wow, I regret not finding this topic earlier. I'm very sorry to hear about what's happening to you mthrnite, and though it may not mean much coming from a stranger i know what your going through. In August the same thing happened to me   more or less. and while i'd rather not go into it right now, I do understand you blowing up in the yard. I think the situation i went through made me develop bi-polar.
Anyways good luck and keep your head up.


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## mthrnite (Nov 13, 2006)

Well matt1freek, let me just say I'm sorry we both have to ride that bus, but I know I'm not alone in going through this, and you're not either. If you need anything as relates to this or bi-polar disorder, just pm me.

Don't jump too quick in diagnosing yourself, see a doc about it if you're worried. Anytime you get kicked in the nuts this hard, it's bound to bring you lots of ups and downs. Maybe the ups aren't very high, but in relation to the downs... well, sometimes just the ability to smile seems like nirvana, then it's the plunge back down into the pit... it makes it feel like you've fallen off a mountain.

Listen to me giving advice... In the land of the blind, etc. etc...

Anyway, buzz me if you need or want to talk, and I'll pretend we're not strangers.

Nintendofreak: (hey there sure is a lot of freaks around here, I _am_  in good company!) Yeah, I'm glad I've got a cart, not that I've played anything in the last couple weeks. There'll be a bunch waiting for me when I do feel like playing again though. Maybe even Tony Hawk Downhill..


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## RayorDragonFall (Nov 13, 2006)

Hey Mthr,
Well after reading through all this, I've got a ton of things I could type, but I'll try to structure my ideas.

First of all, this has happened in my family too, my uncle and his son are going through this. They have been "divorced" for about two years, even though they (well, read: my uncle) STILL have to go to court since my "aunt" wants to pry him of his money. To be honest, I know it was hard for my cousin, and my uncle. Even though I still don't know how hard it was, since I can't live with all my family at the moment..... Things like this tend to go on for a while, but what you do, how things turn out, can make it shorter or longer: I can't stress how important your part is, even though you probably know, since your older and probably wiser than me -.-;

Second thing is, (even though all of this has probably been repeated, Ill say it anyways), to take all this and be in as much control as possible of the situation you have to take care of yourself first. You won't be of much use to your kids if you can't take care of yourself. Keep your body fit, healthy diet and exercise, and your mind, studying, relaxing, thinking, meditating, etc. Try to eat stuff like a bowl of salad or something if you don't feel like eating much anyways.

Third would be, and I know this is hard, and I'm starting to think I shouldn't say this... but anyways, before I change my mind: Normally children get to chose with who they stay with, I doubt it will apply because they are so young, but, I remember how my cousin got showered in presents, and even though he did like them (because he was kinda shallow then.. and still a bit now) I think that deep inside he didn't really care how many stuff they boughy him, instead he wanted something like a "Everythings going to be alright" and the feeling of that it WOULD be, atleast thats what I thought. Also if you think that they are better of with you, you have to try and make sure that they will be able to stay with you, for your kids and your own sake. Even dirty tricks like they did to my cousin would apply. Anything, I guess... :\

Fourth is, that if you ever need someone to talk to, even though I'm "just a kid" compared to the likes I see here, lol, you've got me, mthr.

Get a good nights sleep, Ill check this later,
RDF

P.S. Hope I made sense... I'm thinking about a stupid piano lesson at the same time :\


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## mthrnite (Nov 13, 2006)

Hey RDF, thanks for chiming in.
Supposedly my wife and I are going to make this as amiable as possible, time will tell on that though. I'm looking into mediation first when things break down, then lawyers as necessary. I really like my wife in addition to loving her, and don't want her hurt, but the boys will be the prime focus with me.

And I'm trying to take care of myself, I am getting appetite back somewhat, and I'm the house cook so there's always something I _can_ eat. The boys alone provide excercise, so I am getting at least some. I'm climbing upwards, slipping, climbing some more, but I'm trying my best to face the sun, rain notwithstanding.

In my state, the kids' wants, especially at this age, aren't considered very strongly. My oldest is not yet five, so a judge wouldn't pay much attention to him. I've been very deep in my boys' life though, being a stay at home dad, and even when my wife spends time alone with them, I'm always nearby. I think, not sure, but think they would notice my absence more than hers. That being said, it is to me vital that they grow up with both of us, as equally as possible. Lucky for me this is happening in a time when the courts don't differentiate as much between genders, and I have always been their "primary caregiver", so I think I have a good chance in the system here.

Also, I've heard you mention your age, so I know you're old enough to know what you're talking about. And I appreciate the offer to talk if need be. Thanks sweety.

... and if your piano teacher looks like Bugs Bunny.. Don't, I repeat, DO NOT hit the A note under middle C!

(at least I _think_ that's the key that's rigged to the detonator...)


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## RayorDragonFall (Nov 13, 2006)

Heh ok Mthr, Ill try not to, but to be honest, she doesn't look like bugs bunny at all; like she's a granny and even so she has her "silent temper" attack, which is scary  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Anyways, jokes apart. About the home cook, my dad (feels weird when I type dad.. I call him by his first name XD) recently changed job, so now he travels every so often for like 4 days or a week, and he cooks a lot at home, so I'm missing the home-made food tonight. It looks like mum will buy some sandwiches...hopefully they'll be toasties or something, gah, I'm already mumbling about food, even though I'm sick, XD. 
Also, I think that taking the personality of both should be taken into account if both children stay with one parent, and can't see the other parent that often. I know from my cousin and from my own parents that we kids take up part of our parents personality, (apart from that being transmitted genetically I guess) and faults included more often than not, so I'd recommend that since they are very young that they should develop a strong personality as in... being able to "put their foot down". My cousins parents got divorced when he was arround ten, and to be honest he doesn't have personality, he's friends with guys that aren't the best influence, etc. Also my friends that whose parents have been divorced seem to show "over the top" shyness sometimes, problems with decision making and somewhat giving up on things very, very quickly. Ok, this sounds like useless crap too.....*mumble* >.


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## safariman72 (Nov 14, 2006)

QUOTE(mthrnite @ Nov 13 2006 said:


> There'll be a bunch waiting for me when I do feel like playing again though. Maybe even Tony Hawk Downhill..



I wouldn't hold ya breath for that one quite yet


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## mthrnite (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi again RDF,
As far as the boys' personality being taken into account, lack of a strong will is not a fault of either of them. Trust me, I'm glad I'm bigger than them or they'd be runnin' the place. We can save the nature vs. nurture debate for later if that's ok. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




My hope is that she will move nearby eventually, and we can keep things equal that way. Right now one of the problems is that I don't know what her intentions are, and I think it's possible that the sheen will wear off of the new guy sooner or later and her plans will change, whatever they are. Lots of stuff is still up in the air. She made this move very quickly, and with what looks like very little planning.

As for me relying on others, I understand where you're coming from. I don't want to do this alone, but ultimately, every decision I make is mine. That realization is actually quite stark.

Thanks again for the advice.


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## tama_mog (Nov 14, 2006)

Christ.....can't believe I didn't see this until today.  First off, I skimmed the posts from beginning to end mthrnite and I'm glad to see you're staying strong and getting better throughout the situation.  That has to be a very difficult thing to do given your situation and I think it's admirable to be reacting the way you are.  Please accept my condolences as to what's happening to you and I wish you the best.  You've always been one of the better members on the forums regarding wit....not to mention photoshop skills. =P  I wish you the best and I hope things work out the best....this definitely put a damper in my mood as well as I am getting married in half a year or so as well.  Keep your head up and stay original man.


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## mthrnite (Nov 14, 2006)

Thanks a million tama, for the sympathy and for the very nice compliments   
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





It's nice to know _somebody_ laughs at my jokes!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




It's gonna be tricky getting myself up to speed after basically being a housewife for almost 5 years, but I'm hoping this will be a jumpstart towards a more rewarding life. If this just involved me and my wife I might even count it as a blessing. Having children involved makes it much harder though, and much harder for me to understand how my wife could do it... but...
ONWARD THROUGH THE FOG!

And congrats on your engagement! I hope you're always happy!


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## tama_mog (Nov 14, 2006)

You can do it mthrnite...and it seems like you got the will power to do it and that's important.  Being out of the work world for 5 years isn't the end of the road by any means.  I have plenty of friends out of college that went unemployed and lived with their parents for years and years and came out just fine now in seperate fields.  It just takes some will power and clear goals toward what interests you and applying yourself to the field.  I realize having kids now must be tough (not totally related, but I've had false pregnancy alarms before in my life and it was stressful enough planning for the baby much less having real kids) but from what I've read on your position being closer to your kids than your wife (since she's away @ work)....I think it can only work in your advantage both judicial wise (if it comes to that) and emotional wise (I'm sure your kids will side with you without a doubt).  Just know the sun still shines tomorrow and I'm sure with no time everything will work itself out toward the best.  Thanks for your encouraging words in the latter part of your response, I am thrilled about it as well.


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## Veho (Nov 15, 2006)

No matter how hard I try, I can't think of any morale-boosting, instant-life-improving, magic solutions to your predicament... (because there aren't any). 

I can't even think of any general, generic, long-term "sage" advice, "Dear Abby"-style aphorisms, "tomorrow's another day" (okay, that one reeeeally sucks), because they don't really help... they seem "wise", until you stop and think about them for more than 5 seconds... No point in posting these, then. 

I can't give any real advice, because I've never been in a situation like yours, so I can't even begin to know the answers... So, no help from me there... 

On the other hand, I feel like I really suck for not posting anything to show support... (other than "hang in there"; again, a wrong choice of words, when the right one should have been, "I hope you get out of there soon and hang somewhere else"   
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  )  

So, um, I'm showing support, I guess... 

*support*


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## 5uck3rpunch (Nov 15, 2006)

You did just fine with that post veho!  Good job.


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## mthrnite (Nov 16, 2006)

Thanks Veho, very well said, and appreciated, I knew there was something I liked about you. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Slight update time:
I've been showing my romantic side this week... I took her to a movie tuesday night. Saw "Stranger than Fiction", about a guy who is the lead character in an author's book. The author is notorious for killing her main characters. He hears her narration, and tries to find her in order to save his own life. I thought the parallels were subtle, but noticable. My fate is being dictated in part, and I'm trying to save what ultimately may be my own doomed marriage. She thanked me before she went to bed that night. I saw something soft in her eyes for the first time in a while. I don't know if it's a slight rekindling of her love, or maybe just pity.

Yesterday was tough, I spent hours on a small fairy sculpture for her. I'm not a sculptor, or an artist for that matter, so it was a little rough. I took it to her workplace and put it in her car, then went in with the kids and visited with her a while. She told me she was going out to eat with a friend, and asked if I could keep the kids. I said ok. I'll spare the details, but evidence pointed to her going out with "the guy", though when I asked she said she wasn't. When she got home, I broke down, big time. I bared my soul, something I've been trying not to do. She didn't get mad, but she didn't say much either. I get the idea that she's thinking about everything now though. Maybe a good thing. Maybe I still have a chance. She said she really liked the fairy. I think she's seeing me a little clearer.

Don't call me a fool for this, for this hope. There's a couple of weeks left before she goes. I want her to see the me she fell in love with long ago. That me _is_  still there.

Thanks again guys. Hope for a happy ending, k?


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## tama_mog (Nov 16, 2006)

I'm all for the happy ending and I hope she comes to her senses.  I know the feeling of grasping when someone is leaving and as much as I'd hate to admit it, I can still feel the desperate/hopelessness all over again if I think back to those times.  I know these times are hard for you and I hope things work out for the best as soon as possible.  Best of luck man.


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## mthrnite (Nov 17, 2006)

Well my friends, I finally met the guy...

She called, and said she'd be working late. I immediatly drove out there with the kids, walked in and there he was. I said his name, extended my hand, he slowly extended his. I shook his hand and told him my name and said "good to meet you", he nodded and left.

I talked with my wife a long time tonight. At first she was defensive, but she finally answered all my questions, some of which I already knew, but wanted to hear from her. I know who he is, what he does, and where he lives. She loves him, vice versa. It went better than I expected. She cried and said she was sorry for doing this to me. She says she's never even kissed him, and I believe it. She said she wouldn't during the seperation period, I want to believe it. I told her I'd take her back if ever she wanted to come back.


I think she will...

but not soon.

Time will tell.

New chapter starting.

I'm alright.

So it goes...


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## kingeightsix (Nov 17, 2006)

... mother... you are one bravestar.

well, time will tell. i think now you must give her some REAL space & she'll start freaking out about everything because you're not there at all. i mean, some girls will actually push you away if they know they've got you... maybe you could... tease her a bit. act like you don't care anymore?


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## mthrnite (Nov 17, 2006)

She'll get the space, and she'll be paying for it. I don't mean that in a vengeful way, but in a factual way. As many of us know, when it's free it doesn't matter if it's not perfect. When you gotta buy it, you take better note of it.

I'm not gonna lie to her and tell her I don't care. I'll just keep on being me. I know I'm the right guy for her, and I'm not gonna let her forget that by being a dick to her. We'll see how it pans out. This ain't gonna be easy but it's the only thing left to do.

Ain't that a kick in the head?


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## corbs132 (Nov 17, 2006)

my parents (im 15) wanted to divorce, bit it all worked out in the end. Me and my siblings were wrecked during that time, but my advice to you is to just stay close to your children. Back as far off as you can from (ex?) wife, but still let kids see her. My cousin's parents got divorced when he was like 4 or 5, but everything worked out fine. Good luck man, and God bless.


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## mthrnite (Nov 17, 2006)

Thanks corbs, I'm taking your advice.


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