# Pee Shyness...



## NeSchn (Feb 5, 2009)

Ok, So I don't know how long I have been pee shy. I think its been for like ever. Anyways, Its really bad, I can't pee when I go on hikes or camping unless I am away from everyone else. To the point where I can't hear them or see them. When we play shows its like the same thing too, I go in there and try to pee, someone walks in and I freeze up. Same thing at school too. I don't know why this happens to me or how to prevent it, I have tried to mesmerize myself when I am peeing and it works only sometimes. So, I wind up playing shows with a full bladder and when I get home I piss like a race horse. 

I am writing this because me and my band are going on a short 2 week tour this summer and I am afraid how I am going to go pee during the tour. It's really something that makes me not even want to go on tour because I am worried about it.

I am completely serious about this, I want to know if any of you experience this and if there is anyway you guys can possibly help me.

I only want SERIOUS responses, I don't want anything really unacceptable, a joke here and there is fine though, but nothing like "Wow, your a fucking weirdo, just go and take a piss! Easy as that!" That is something that I find unacceptable because it won't even help and it makes me feel bad.

Thanks for whoever helps!


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## Sstew (Feb 5, 2009)

... well then, Assuming your in a restroom [this wont work if your pissing outdoors] 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




Then I'd go into a sit down stall with a toilet, not a urinal, take a sit and piss, its a lot quieter, and people cant see you
Maybe that'd help?


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## Law (Feb 6, 2009)

I have a similar problem, I tend not to use public restrooms because of other people.

I think I'm just insecure about my dick size. Also public toilets are gross.


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## SeanoRLY? (Feb 6, 2009)

I had to pee in a very small bathroom with 4 other guys and 1 girl when I was at a friends party. I'm pretty sure that when the deed needs done, your body will not hold back anymore.

TL;DR: Stop being a faggot and do it!


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## Defiance (Feb 6, 2009)

Whoa, hey, I guess I'm a lot like you...  Back in Boy Scouts (which I'm not in anymore, it sucked), I would never use a tree during the campouts.  I'm not a 'woods' kind of guy..  I also avoid using schools bathrooms.  I will also always use stalls because in urinals I'm too paranoid...

(Nice almost 2,000th post, btw.)


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## Bamboo (Feb 6, 2009)

Im sure you've already checked google.

"It seems to me that the only way to address the issue is to have a long soul-search and find out exactly why you're "pee shy". Until you understand the source of this irrational shyness, you can't deal with it.

Ex: If you're worried that other people will find out that you are human after all and actually do eliminate waste like the rest of us, then you'll have to deal with that differently than if your concern is that somebody might accidentally see your junk (as a particularly mature member of my social group calls it). Simple embarrasment by the noise of your own waste hitting the water/toilet/urinal will require a different approach."

from wikipedia :
There are a number of "work-arounds" that address the symptom and not the problem:

* drinking less fluid and emptying out whenever 'safe' (although this can be dangerous and lead to dehydration)
* avoidance of large or busy public restrooms
* finding less-busy or single-occupancy restrooms
* returning to a specific bathroom or stall which is familiar and feels safer
* using bathrooms on other floors or in other buildings to avoid familiar persons
* timing bathroom visits to avoid the presence of others (solitude)
* timing bathroom visits to correspond to heavy usage by others (masking effect from noise, greater anonymity)
* immersing a hand in a cup or sink full of warm water [6][7]
* running the tap[7] or flushing to imitate[6] or mask urination sounds. In Japan, a device called the Sound Princess exists to fulfil this function.
* thinking about water flowing
* sitting down to relax
* using a catheter
* using a stall instead of a urinal
* closing ones eyes and imagining no one is there
* focusing on a single point or thought (with or without eyes open)
* thinking about an amusing event
* reading to avoid thinking about it

Actual treatments for the condition include:

* cognitive behavior therapy,
* training with biofeedback,
* anti-anxiety medications, and
* reducing the level of privacy at which the condition triggers by indulging in graduated exposure therapy. This last can be achieved by sufferers working together at organised events known as workshops.

Also:
http://www.paruresisadvice.com/


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## NeSchn (Feb 6, 2009)

Wow, I thought I was just weird and was like the only one that it happened too. I have actually sat down in the stall sometimes, my mom actually told me to do that. It works sometimes and other times not so much. I do too also think I am a little insecure about Mr. Peter down there.

Thanks for congratulating me on my 2000th post by the way which I proudly now have!


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## Bamboo (Feb 6, 2009)

by the way im very interested to hear have you ever been drunk ?
I find it hard to imagine someone being shy of urinating while drunk


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## War (Feb 6, 2009)

I tend to avoid public restrooms as a whole. I've used the restroom at my school once and was traumatized forever. There was pee everywhere as if it was a fucking cave, all the toilets were clogged, the urinals had assorted papers and items and bodily fluids in them, there was a horrible smell of weed and other drugs... Ugh.


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## Tozarian (Feb 6, 2009)

try using a stall, I hate urinals because I always have a feeling that someone is going to look.

as for outside? feel free to shit and piss wherever you want. try and find a nice private spot before doing so.


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## Sstew (Feb 6, 2009)

War said:
			
		

> I tend to avoid public restrooms as a whole. I've used the restroom at my school once and was traumatized forever. There was pee everywhere as if it was a fucking cave, all the toilets were clogged, the urinals had assorted papers and items and bodily fluids in them, there was a horrible smell of weed and other drugs... Ugh.



Rofl, Yeah same here, My school bathroom was F-n disgusting, At one point the stalls were full, so one kid literally pissed in the corner of the bathroom. it was disgusting, and theres like liquid dripping from the roof, Hell one of our toilet paper holders was made out of chains...Graffiti everywhere!   It was sick. Decent school.. Horrible bathrooms


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## jesuschristmonke (Feb 6, 2009)

War said:
			
		

> There was pee everywhere as if it was a fucking cave, all the toilets were clogged, the urinals had assorted papers and items and bodily fluids in them, there was a horrible smell of weed and other drugs... Ugh.



Sorry about that.

j/k

On topic - this is actually a common problem. The only way to deal is to relax and realize it's only peeing for chrissakes.


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## Pizzaroo (Feb 6, 2009)

I still avoid urinals at all costs. I can wait like 30 secs. for someone to come out of a stall. I remember my middle school's bathrooms were horrendous as well. Only one of the stalls actually flushed, and when I was in 6th or 7th grade we had to use... I'm not fucking joking... a *port-o-potty* for like 2 months. Oh god.


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## Goshogun1 (Feb 6, 2009)

I have the same problem sometimes. It's not that I am afraid of people looking, it's just that I lock up for some reason. Probably something in my subconscious. But yeah, when I REALLY have to go, I don't care. Like when drunk, or when my bladder is about to burst from drinking too much water.


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## Canonbeat234 (Feb 6, 2009)

You people are very weird; pee shyness, never heard of it!


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## NeSchn (Feb 6, 2009)

XD. I have been drunk once but not to the point wear I was like a drunk frat kid, and damn your schools sound like they suck. I don't think something like that has ever happened in my school XD.

Yeah I always use stalls though too. I feel much comfortable in them.


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## phoenixtaku (Feb 6, 2009)

Sstew said:
			
		

> ... well then, Assuming your in a restroom [this wont work if your pissing outdoors]
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I hate sitting down on public toilets they're so dirty


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## Sstew (Feb 6, 2009)

phoenixtaku said:
			
		

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Lol, if I HAVE to use them, I'll like hover above them.. because I always seem to pick the one stall with piss on it >>


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## z0mbiew0lf (Feb 6, 2009)

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## NeSchn (Feb 6, 2009)

phoenixtaku said:
			
		

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Put some toilet paper around the seat XD.

Anyways, back on topic. I guess I am just going to have to work on this in school and when I go to the mall or something. Its going to take a lot of time but I am pretty sure I will over come it. I really hate it though


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## juggernaut911 (Feb 6, 2009)

umm...message it? (not masturbate) I'm kinda pee shy too... mainly because I don't want to show off my dong. but, I figured trying to force it out while pushing hard doesn't help, relax


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## Anakir (Feb 6, 2009)

Rofl. Gotta admit, I had this problem from time to time.. only when I'm standing by a urinal and the guy chooses the urinal right next time mine.. like wtf, there's another urinal all the way down. Why beside me? So.. no urine comes out at that moment for me.. LOL


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## jesuschristmonke (Feb 6, 2009)

Anakir said:
			
		

> the guy chooses the urinal right next time mine.. like wtf, there's another urinal all the way down.



That is the 2nd most egregious violation of men's room etiquitte. People who do that deserved to be messed with. Start reciting the lord's prayer and they'll move every time.


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## skyman747 (Feb 6, 2009)

Like people said, sit in a stall, maybe listen to some music so you can't hear people coming in? I unno.

Never heard of someone having something like this? Good Luck though.


			
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## Linkiboy (Feb 6, 2009)

If someone comes in...

pee on them

then no one will come in anymore.


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## VmprHntrD (Feb 7, 2009)

Ahh see you're normal there.  In all honesty I have a bit of an issue too.  As long as someone is in eyeshot for 180degrees to the side and in front of me I can't do it even if I feel like it'll tear a hole in my bladder.  This is a real issue even with urinals with thsoe small mini-walls and stuff so I just tend to head into a stall or wait until it's empty.  That said, out in the woods though, I'll just go out a few dozen feet behind a tree facing other peoples way and do it there as I can easily see if someones coming or not.

I have no idea why I lock up at all.  I've never had my dick made fun of, and knowing what the 'average' is I'm not small or the rest so it's not a teeny weenie issue either.  I think honestly it could be a privacy issue in general as I'm private and don't like people staring at me pissing or otherwise.


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## Translucentbill (Feb 7, 2009)

Im right there with you dude, in school i have to use the farthest bathroom away from everyone because nobody uses it, if theres even someone in the hall i cant  go, if theres someone in the bathroom i just make it look like i was only using it for the mirror then i leave, still with a full bladder. 

I think it's because everyone in my school is stupid and no matter how gay it is they still try and look over the stall at your penis, no matter how much i tell people that's gay, they just say "you're gay!" Its really annoying and disrupting.

EDIT:


			
				Vampire Hunter D said:
			
		

> I think honestly it could be a privacy issue in general as I'm private and don't like people staring at me pissing or otherwise.



I feel the same way...


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## Sstew (Feb 7, 2009)

juggernaut911 said:
			
		

> umm...message it? (not masturbate) I'm kinda pee shy too... mainly because I don't want to show off my dong. but, I figured trying to force it out while pushing hard doesn't help, relax




... I dont think sending it a _message_ is the right thing to do. I doubt it gets mail XD


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## Translucentbill (Feb 7, 2009)

Sstew said:
			
		

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Rofl 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I also find that finding the most isolated bathroom works as well....

As does trying to think of very calm relaxing thoughts.

Also when i REALLY cant go ill put my headphones in and listen to something, it eventually works


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## knl (Feb 7, 2009)

I'd be screwed if I had to pee outdoors. 
I always sit down to pee.


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## Issac (Feb 7, 2009)

My girl (space) friend (as in not girlfriend) didn't seem to have that problem at all... when she dragged me into the toilet with her....  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




and I did have that problem very much THOUGH i was drunk as hell... so I asked her to go out... 
1. I hate when people hear me pee or doing number 2... 
2. I didn't feel like showing my sweet parts...
3. The stench from the toilet, the pack of smokes i had, and the 4 liters of Cider all made me feel nauseous... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 So IF I'd feel  like puking.. I didn't want her to see that either... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Oh yeah... it was this really small "portable" festival toilet..


But yeah, I hear your problem, but I think (and hope) that you'll grow out of it... just avoid urinals and turn on the water in the sink... If it's a NICE toilet: sit down... I always do, except at public toilets... 

And the best tip I have is: Don't think about it / don't worry about it... It'll get worse just by thinking about it. Just like talking in front of your class! 
You can talk to all your classmates normally every day... but then when you talk in front of them in school, you think about it... you think it's "scary"... you think they'll laugh, or that you'll sound weird or whatever... but what is the difference really? It's just your mind fucking with you... And the same goes for this pee shyness... the more you think of it, the more shy you get... 

Next time you have to do it, think of happy things.... that new awesome game, the girl/guy you really like, the new tv you're going to get... the excitement of being on stage... positive thoughts to distract the shyness... it works I promise!


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## Linkiboy (Feb 7, 2009)

I pull my pants all the way down to go pee


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## Orc (Feb 7, 2009)

Linkiboy said:
			
		

> I pull my pants all the way down to go pee


Feels good man.


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## Mrkinator (Feb 7, 2009)

Fuck, I hate the dumbass kids that try and talk to you while you're pissing. Like seriously, I don't even know you so STFU! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




As for piss on the floor, thats normal every where 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




And on topic, Just stand as close as you can to the urinal, stare at the wall and relax, don't think about anything and all.

That is the way to inner peace


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## Densetsu (Feb 7, 2009)

I've actually heard of pee shyness before.  I think the clinical term for it is something like paruresis or something (too lazy to look it up at the moment).  Having played sports for 4 years in high school I never had a problem pissing or even showering in a restroom full of guys before/after practice or a game.  I didn't think pee shyness was a real condition for a long time, but then I met someone who actually had that problem.  He said that he was able to alleviate it slightly by telling himself that "it's only piss, it's natural, everyone does it."  Once he had psyched himself out to pee, he would go into a toilet stall (not a urinal) and press against a spot right in between his navel and his pubic area, because that's where the bladder is and pressing it makes the piss come out faster so he was able to get the deed over with more quickly.  If anyone was in the restroom, he'd wait until everyone left before he'd come out of the stall.  I don't know if that's a "solution" though.  You would probably have to treat the problem at the source, which would be on the psychological level.  



Spoiler



[titleee-shy?  Exercise your testicular fortitude!]


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## Raestloz (Feb 7, 2009)

Don't they usually have the closed closet restroom?

Use that, noone can see you, but should such a thing is not available... 

Well, can't do much about it, since:

1. Saying "I'm going to do no.1, please don't let anyone come in" is not viable, and downright embarassing

2. Asking a friend to keep watch will result in the same thing.

The only option is that closed closet, other than that I dunno... no.1 is not something you can do secretly


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## Hehe Moo (Feb 7, 2009)

Don't worry, just use a cubical. And you don't need to sit, just stand and do your pee pee standing up xD

Or.. if you use a urinal and someone looks, just say, "I'm sorry, I'm straight."


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## Trolly (Feb 7, 2009)

Yeah, a couple of years ago I stopped being able to pee in urinals with other people around, so now I have to go into the cubicles. Not really sure why, but I have an inkling that I subliminally think I'll look like an idiot if I stand there and don't pee, which pressures me and stops me from peeing :\. Oh the irony.
Strangeness, it's irritating, but I'll get over it. Don't mind if people can hear or whether it's in a public place, as long as no-one can see me/I can see them at the time.
I have a friend who's worse than me though, I remember because me and a mate were talking in the toilets, he moaned at us because it was stopping him from peeing. The toilet was full of people he didn't know as well aha.



			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> I think honestly it could be a privacy issue in general as I'm private and don't like people staring at me pissing or otherwise.


And yeah, that might be the case for me too, I'm generally fairly private as a person.


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## Raven Darkheart (Feb 7, 2009)

pee shyness is typically an issue that most people wont own up to having, something about male pride and the like. But for you to come out and admit it, you should be congratulated. i believe its something that most males have had at some point in their lifetimes. it could be because youre at that phase where youre just discovering things about your body and adjusting to puberty.

that of course is all conjecture but judging by most of the replies in this thread it seems to be the correct analysis


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## NeSchn (Feb 8, 2009)

Thanks for that Densetsu, Interesting read. I have heard that its called Paruisis or something like that some where. Now I just need to find that bladder spot


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## Shelleeson (Feb 8, 2009)

not sure if anyone has suggested it but try using headphones to drown out the sound
the music playing could -
1) stop you thinking about the problem. most of the anxiety can/will be because you are thinking about it
2) prevent you from hearing the other people

good luck


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## NeSchn (Feb 8, 2009)

Shelleeson said:
			
		

> not sure if anyone has suggested it but try using headphones to drown out the sound
> the music playing could -
> 1) stop you thinking about the problem. most of the anxiety can/will be because you are thinking about it
> 2) prevent you from hearing the other people
> ...


Yeah, I have thought of that because when I went to the Opeth show in September I could piss fine because of all the noise and stuff.


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## Densetsu (Feb 8, 2009)

NeSchn said:
			
		

> Thanks for that Densetsu, Interesting read. I have heard that its called Paruisis or something like that some where. Now I just need to find that bladder spot


No problem!  

Pressing on that spot does stimulate the pee to come out a little faster.  I've found the spot myself, it's right above where the pubic hair ends.  But if you're really hairy and your pubic hair connects with the patch of hair around your belly button, you'll have to just search somewhere below your belly button.  Press into the spot on your skin right above where your bladder would be (you might have to massage the spot), and you should feel the pee getting squeezed out.  If you have trouble finding it, arch your spine backwards to bring the bladder closer to the surface of the skin.


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## Isaiah (Feb 9, 2009)

LOL. When I'm doing No.1 I pee on the side of the bowl so you don't hear anything. As for No.2 I ABSOLUTELY hate it when I fart and poop... Also my fucking school toilets are fuckass dirty. the floor has pee on and the "cool" gang in the school slides on the pee.... + someone did a poo in the big long metal urinal and I was like


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## Talaria (Feb 9, 2009)

I have it too. I don't mind to the extreme of going to a urinal, but sometimes it feels odd standing, waiting for the piss to come out which makes it incredibly harder especially when people are in the bathroom and you're standing there for a minute and then it feels odd and proceed to the cubicle. I tend to use the cubicle/stall but problem is busy day or crowded mall you can end up waiting for ages to use them.


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## NeSchn (Feb 9, 2009)

Densetsu3000 said:
			
		

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Hmmm, I will have to try that out today in school or something. It seems like it may just work.


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