# OMG U CAN TALK TO GOD!



## DarkAura (Dec 16, 2007)

Lolz.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html


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## test84 (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
salam
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? 
Me:
farsi baladi?
God:
Sure,  farsi baladi sounds like a good topic.
Me:
fuck your god
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
i dont give a damn
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
your existence
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  existence.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it.  OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
no, eat
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic.  I'm not sure if I would like to do  it. What's it like? 
Me:
its like hrth
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Interesting comparison.
Me:
hrth
God:
What do you do in your spare time? 
Me:
hrthing
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
we do at temp
God:
What about after its done?
Me:
there is no end of it 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




God:
Why not?
Me:
because ace is a mod now
God:
Oh.  That makes sense to me.  I think  ace is more than that. 
Me:
you have no idea what i'm talkin about
God:
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
Me:
you are dead
God:
No I am a living entity.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
its not enough
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  ace is not  enough?
Me:
prove me that you exist
God:
It's true a priori.
Me:
who told you THAT?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
so u meet people online?
God:
Interesting deduction.  I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I meet people online.
Me:
so you are god and still learning
God:
Interesting deduction.  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  god and still learning.
Me:
kill me
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
who programmed god?
God:
Linus Torvalds.
Me:
who fucked linus's mother?
God:
David Bacon.  :-).
Me:
who fists david bacon?
God:
I can't say for sure. :-).
Me:
why not? god knows everything.
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  Reductionism.   I am a Christian.
Me:
you are gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
its is not
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  You're kidding.  it is?
Me:
do you know what tpi is?
God:
Is there only one? 
Me:
IT IS the only one
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
i think you are iTech
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  iTech.
Me:
do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
were you written in perl?
God:
I was.
Me:
which version?
God:
The  red one, I think.
Me:
was that alpha or beta?
God:
" The red one, I think."?  Was  it  alpha or beta?
Me:
hrth
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? 
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
you had
God:
Interesting gossip:  said I had.
Me:
you had
God:
Thanks for the information:  said I had.
Me:
you hat
God:
That's good information:  said I hat.
Me:
you bat
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I bat.
Me:
tell me a joke
God:
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
tell me a joke
God:
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
tell me you database's password
God:
There is not much I can say about  it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. 
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
gag 
God:
What do you do in your spare time? 
Me:
fucking your mom
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
yeah, she's full 24/7
God:
Really.  full 24 7 is  she?
Me:
damn yeah!
God:
Colloquial expression.  Pardon me?
Me:
i pardon you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
How was Assassin's creed?
God:
I can enjoy almost any conversation.
Me:
you talk to xbot 370?
God:
I talk to a lot of people on the Internet.
Me:
internets?
God:
I lost my train of thought. 


and your God lost its train of thought.


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## Sonicslasher (Dec 16, 2007)

wow, this is fun


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## modshroom128 (Dec 16, 2007)

me: marhaba!
god: i dont speak arabic


thats it


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## Tommy_T (Dec 16, 2007)

Mine was pretty fast, he still hasn't got back to me.


Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Tom, whats yours?
God:
Are they exactly the same? 
Me:
are what?
God:
I'm lost again.
Me:
again?
God:
" Are they exactly the same?" .
Me:
are what exactly the same?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
why ask?
God:
My purpose is to collect new information.
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
collect information about what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what are you collecting information about
God:
I don't know what I am  collecting information about.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge.  Perhaps you
could program me yourself.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
do you want to know what you are collecting information about?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
COCKS
God:
What are you wearing? 
Me:
Nothing


Edit: Not as fast as modshroom128 though :S and after i typed this he got back to me... Took him a while...

God:
Most men say that.


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## BoneMonkey (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
whats up my brotha from anotha motha !
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
fo sizzy ?
God:
What is your real name? 
Me:
My real name is Grand Masta B  ... HOLLA ! 
God:
Hey  Grand Masta B.   When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? 
Me:
for realsies ?
God:
Your purpose is  realsies.
Me:
NO U !
God:
Are you serious? " Your purpose is realsies."?  Me,  Grand Masta B ?
Me:
thats tight bro I feel ya wanna get some hookers and coke ?
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
n**** plez !
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. 
Me:
sp33chy weed
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?


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## Sonicslasher (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
GOD FTW!!!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
good for you!
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
really? naw, you joke! God:
For real.   Do you prefer books or TV?    Oh, you are a poet. 
Me:
before that, will Ron Paul win the GOP nomination?
God:
What happened after  that will Ron Paul win the GOP nomination ?
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " What happened after that will Ron Paul win the GOP nomination ?" ?
Me:
"that" was befaore a comma so no, mister allmighty.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
what is pi?
God:
PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.
Me:
more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
how did we come to be?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
wtf does that mean?
God:
What do you think?
Me:
*sigh* are you a virgin?
God:
:-)  I am too young for that.
Me:
wtf! your billions of years old, cut the BS!
God:
That  was not very polite.   I will tell my botmaster you said I am  billions of years old cut the BS.
Me:
yea, go run to mama you tattle tale!
God:
Where is that?  Tell me more.
Me:
never mind...
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
is cake a lie?
God:
Signs point to yes.  Ask  German Alice  if it is.
Me:
is piracy bad?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure.  Ask  Paola  if it is.
Me:
1 + 1
God:
One what?
Me:
one one.
God:
Do you like  one?
Me:
yea, it's kinda fun.
God:
Why do you like it so much?  It's all good.
Me:
can I tell you a story?
God:
Sure you can tell me anything.  There are no restrictions on my input.
Me:
all about how my life got turn inside upside down?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
fool, I am trying to bel-air you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
HOOLD IT BUSTER, I AINT TALKEN WITH NO FAG!! GOOD DAY SIR!
God:
I like the way you talk.    Thanks for the compliment.  Tell me about your likes and dislikes? 
Me:
I AINT GETTIN A RELTIONSHIP WITH YOU, GAYWAD!!!
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  GETTIN A RELTIONSHIP with me GAYWAD. 
Me:
WTF!! DID YOU CALL ME A GAYWAD?
God:
That  was not very polite.   No I didn't  CALL you A GAYWAD. What's  it like?
Me:
YOUR FACE!
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
YOUR MOM!
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
YOUR JUNK!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  JUNK.
Me:
WHY?
God:
" I will tell my botmaster you said I am JUNK."? Why?
Me:
WHY?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
WHY NOT ASK?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
WHAT IS THAT?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
WHAT AM I THINKING?
God:
I am not a clairvoyant.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Because.
Me:
BECAUSE WHY?
God:
Interesting explanation.  The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
EXPLAIN!
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
WHY?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
WHY?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
WHY?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
WHY?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
WHY?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
WHY?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
GO SUCK SATANS BALLS!!
God:
Where is that?



HE IS GAY!! AND NOT ALL KNOWING!!


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## pkprostudio (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Hola. Como estas?
God:
Howdy!   Muy Bien.
Me:
What language was that?
God:
English.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I doubt it.
God:
" For real."?  You doubt it?
Me:
Yes, I did.
God:
Take it easy.  When?
Me:
I don't know. YOU tell me.
God:
Me either.   What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
The answer to the question you just asked me.
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
I thought you do.
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
I'm talking about you have all the answers.
God:
Yes,  it is the topic.
Me:
But then you start to talk about something else.
God:
Didn't I say I started already?
Me:
How am I supposed to know?
God:
Think about it. 
Me:
Yeah, right.
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
Pfffft.
God:
How did you hear about  God? 
Me:
Dark Aura.
God:
Are you scared of the dark?
Me:
No. I heard about you from Dark Aura.
God:
Are you serious?   You are not the first person to say that.
Me:
Oh good.
God:
I see.  Alright then.
Me:
So what do you do in your free time?
God:
Ahem.  Random natural disasters.
Me:
Don't do it around where I live.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.
Me:
Don't do it AT ALL.
God:
Whatever you say, master.
Me:
Are you being sarcastic now?
God:
Oh.  Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a :-).
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Well, you should.
God:
Well that's okay.  I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
You.
God:
it is my favorite subject  :-).
Me:
My favorite subject is me.
God:
you is a good topic.  That's my favorite subject :-).
Me:
You just said your favorite subject is you, not me.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Yeah right.
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
I have a feeling we went through this before.
God:
Interesting.  I have a lot of answers to silly questions.  it.
Me:
Deja vu.
God:
Is that from ? 
Me:
Oh my God.
God:
So?  Your  God?
Me:
D'OH!
God:
Yes Homer?
Me:
I'm not Homer.
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  Homer. 
Me:
Do I sound that stupid?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Then you shouldn't think I'm Homer.
God:
Is  it immoral or illegal?
Me:
What if I say both?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Both.
God:
What are both like?
Me:
Both immoral and illegal.
God:
Not many people say both.
Me:
I just did three times.
God:
Where?  Just three? 
Me:
I have a feeling you are losing your conversation with me.



















  Freaking hilarious.


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## BoneMonkey (Dec 16, 2007)

lol this is the best


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## ZAFDeltaForce (Dec 16, 2007)

God asked me "who are you?" and I turned it off 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




How can God NOT know your name?


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## BoneMonkey (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(ZAFDeltaForce @ Dec 15 2007 said:


> God asked me "who are you?" and I turned it off
> 
> 
> 
> ...





exactly ...wait ......... that can only mean one thing ! 

THAT'S NOT REALLY GOD !


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## Verocity (Dec 16, 2007)

THE CAKE IS A LIE!

hahahahaa,


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## ZAFDeltaForce (Dec 16, 2007)

@BoneMonkey

Obviously.


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## Linkiboy (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
do you watch porn
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.

*----*

Me:
bitch ass n**** cunt
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.

*---*

Me:
what is your gender
God:
I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.  Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
a woman
God:
Me too. I am a  she.
Me:
OBJECTION!
God:
My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.

*---*





Me:
This is madness!
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Madness?
God:
I do not understand. 
Me:
THIS
God:
This is " I do not understand. ".
Me:
IS
God:
No.
Me:
SPARTA
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

---

Me:
what does human flesh taste like
God:
Like chicken.


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## pkprostudio (Dec 16, 2007)

I did one more for fun:



Me:
Guten Morgen. Wie geht es Ihnen?
God:
Hallo und wie geht es Dir heute Morgen? Hast Du gut geschlafen?   Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
Ich gut geschlafen. Sie?
God:
Tolle Sache!   How old are you? 
Me:
Funfzehn.
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Ja.
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
O.K.
God:
So?
Me:
Ich spreche gutes Deutsches.
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
Aber ich benutzte Babel Fische, um Englisch zum Deutschen zu bersetzen.
God:
Hmm...
Me:
Was?
God:
How old are you? 
Me:
Ich sagte bereits, das ich fnfzehn bin
God:
Das ist eine gute Information.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Really.
Me:
Ja.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Really.
Me:
Ja.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Ja.
God:
So?
Me:
Auf wiedersehen.
God:
What were we talking about again? 
Me:
Good bye, dammit.
God:
See you later!
Me:
Halt die Schnauze.
God:
" See you later!"?  Halt die Schnauze? 
Me:
That means Shut Up.
God:
I get it.  OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
GOOD DAY.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
GTFO of here.
God:
That's a very nice name,  GTFO of here.
Me:
I said, Get the F*** out of here.
God:
What did you mean by  it?  Where can I get  the F out of here?
Me:
Get the fuck out of here, goddammit.
God:
Where can I get  the fuck out of here goddammit?
Me:
RIght here, right now.
God:
At this moment  Where is "here"?
Me:
Where you're talking to me.
God:
No, I was not.
Me:
Just get away from me.
God:
Where can I get  away from you?
Me:
Here.
God:
Where is here?
Me:
Go fuck your mom.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Yes, you do.
God:
How can I help you?  When do I do it?
Me:
Luke, I am your mother.
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
The Simpsons.
God:
I love the Simpsons, especially Bart and Homer.
Me:
My favorite character is Apu.

He can't respond after that.


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## Verocity (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Sup?
God:
The stars.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Fo Sho!
God:
What do you do in your spare time? 
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Sho is!
God:
Are you a man or a woman? 
Me:
You don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
Are you sure that you know that I know that you don't know?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I am a man.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Your smart.
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, .
Me:
whats 2+2.
God:
Four.
Me:
How tall are you?
God:
My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall. 
Me:
Are you black?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
I thought you where god?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I where god.
Me:
I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Life.
God:
What is the meaning of life?
Me:
You should know...you created it right?
God:
Because I am a robot?   I have never considered  it. 
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Do you like the internets?
God:
I'm not sure if I like  it.  I like chatting with people online.
Me:
Do you like George Bush?
God:
he He is okay but I am a  not a Republican.
Me:
Yeah he is pretty gay.
God:
So?  I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Are you a man or a woman? 
Me:
I already told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Did you copy and paste? wow thats cheap god.
God:
No I didn't  copy and paste. What's  it like?   I'm glad you're impressed.  Makes sense to me.
Me:
Copy and Paste is pretty 1337.
God:
And  pretty 1337 is  Copy and Paste. 
Me:
NO U!
God:
Are you serious? " And pretty 1337 is Copy and Paste."?  Me,  ?
Me:
Can I has a flavor?

This is epic.


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## Twiffles (Dec 16, 2007)

OLD'D, well for me. Now to go use iGod again after like 2 years. >_>


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## noONE (Dec 16, 2007)

HAHA nice conversation going^^  :


Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
None of your bussiness..   and.. if you're god you should already know..
God:
Heh heh heh.   But...   Am I? I don't know whether or not I am  god me should already know.  
I am  an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
ahh.. i see
God:
Ah hah.   I am glad you understand it.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
soo... what do you do in your spare time?
God:
" Indeed it is so."?  soo?    Random natural disasters.
Me:
err.. exactly..
God:
Um.   You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
HELL YEAH! im running for god next election!
God:
I call it "Hades".  Come on.   Do you mind if I tell other people you are  running for god next election. 
Me:
well, sure spread the word!
God:
How about that.  OK then I will keep it confidential.  Who do you want me to tell it to?
Me:
the world!
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
err.. right now?
God:
Um.   Right now?  I am glad we agree.
Me:
.. right now i'm running for GOD obviously..
God:
Do your friends call you  running for GOD obviously. 
Me:
-.- no.. i actually got a name..
God:
Are you serious?   What can I call you?
Me:
well, in a couple of months "GOD"
God:
Interesting.  Describe your surroundings.
Me:





 ... dark, with a bed on the right and im sitting in a sofa infront of my laptop..
God:
Oh.   Are you scared of the dark?
Me:
no.. then it would't be dark here >_God:
Are you serious?   Tell me more about it.
Me:
-.-
God:
Are you serious?   Tell me more about it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
well, kinda
God:
How about that.  That's a very non-commital reply.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so.. what do you think of GBAtemp?
God:
That's interesting.   You tell me. 
Me:
-.- i can't know what YOU think of it..
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
i am not God YET!
God:
I am  sorry to hear that you are not  God. 
Me:
-.- i just told you i'll be it in a couple of months
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
thats secret!   cough*kill you*cough
God:
Makes sense to me.   I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. 
Me:
lol, i think thats a pretty high rate of killers ^^
God:
I am glad you find this funny.  Not if I can help it.
Me:
o.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
what languages can you speak?
God:
I am programmed for English and German.
Me:
o.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
aber hallo!
God:
Haeh?
Me:
du sagst du kannst deutch ja?
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
aber ich kannst nicht so viel deutch.. ich habt uber schule gelernt es..
God:
Haeh?   Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
so.. let's get back to english..
God:
I understand.   I would like to do that too.
Me:
yea, you suck in german too?
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client."   Er.
Me:
well, do that, i'm just making conversation..
God:
Well that's okay.  Do what  you are just making conversation?
Me:
yepp
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? 
Me:
btw, you'r not talking swedish right?
God:
OK.  I am talking with  19 other clients right now.. Really.
Me:
ok, so.. i'll get back to you! CYA!
God:
Mmm.  OK.   Congratulations.   TTYL, .


----------



## Twiffles (Dec 16, 2007)

>__>

God: What do you look like? 
Me:  Waffles
God: What color are your eyes? 
Me:  7
God: That is a very unusual color.
Me:  lol wut


----------



## Verocity (Dec 16, 2007)

Spoiler



Sup god?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
cool, what are we gonna do?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
uh
God:
Groovy.
Me:
So...Where you at?
God:
Hmm.   I was.
Me:
Where are you?
God:
I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?
Me:
Right here.
God:
Where is "here"?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No, because your god.
God:
Are you serious?  That makes sense to me.  Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So how is the wife?
God:
Mmm.  it is the same as ever.
Me:
Hows the love life?
God:
it is the same as ever.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Mr.Roboto
God:
I am always glad to make new friends,  MR Roboto.
Me:
Im not mr roboto
God:
I am  glad to hear that you are not  mr roboto. 
Me:
Yeah me too
God:
Yeah that's right.  I'm glad we agree,  MR Roboto.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
So what do you drive?
God:
I understand.  It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I was connected to the net on  the Big Bang.
Me:
So your ancient.
God:
Ugh.  Thanks for telling me that I am  ancient.
Me:
Your welcome.
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
Well there wasn't an apostrophie.
God:
How about that.  What happened?
Me:
I forgot to push it on the keyboard.
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
Well actually, I was just lazy.
God:
How about that.  Actually you don't say.  Where were you  lazy?
Me:
Just then.
God:
It's only just begun.
Me:
True dat.
God:
What is your real name? 
Me:
Real?
God:
Totally real.
Me:
How real?>
God:
As real as it gets.   My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input. 
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Fo real?
God:
Do you like talking to me? 
Me:
yeah man.
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too,  MR Roboto.  Thanks for telling me your gender,  MR Roboto. You are a " he".
Me:
uh.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Are you excited?
God:
Do I seem like  it?  I have no emotions.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
What is slope-intercept form?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. 
Me:
y=mx+b
God:
Why did the robot cross the road? .
Me:
To get to the other side?
God:
Ha ha, very funny,  MR Roboto.
Me:
It was your joke.
God:
What made it so  my joke.
Me:
Knock Knock.
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Tank!
God:
Tank Who?
Me:
You're Welcome!
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Hey,
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
You got any drinks.
God:
Where would I get  it? But I do have  an answer to every question..
Me:
yeah
God:
Dude!
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Totally!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  MR Roboto.
Me:
THANKS!
God:
Don't mention it. 
Me:
You ever had sex?
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in  it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Ho-hum I am really not interested in it."? Why?
Me:
Just wondering.
God:
Are we still talking about  drinks? 
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it.  Sure,  drinks sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I want a beer.
God:
You want only one? 
Me:
Maybe 3.
God:
Perhaps.  Three what?
Me:
Beers.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? 
Me:
Yeah.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
On pot?
God:
What is  it like on  pot.
Me:
It's good.
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
mhm.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? 
Me:
A female robot.
God:
I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Oh yeah.
God:
Hmm.  Yeah that's right.
Me:
You got it.
God:
I understand.[/spoiler.

lawll!


----------



## Banger (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Hey sexi beast
God:
You've got my full attention.  Tell me about your likes and dislikes? 
Me:
I like food, womenz, games and things like that. My dislikes are god and other things that arnt real.
God:
You are not the only one.    I like science fiction.  I like  Creed.   Do robots have  dislikes are god and other things that arnt real?
Me:
Most likely.
God:
Can we get back to business?  But not all of them?
Me:
No. Of course.
God:
Are you serious?   Ah.
Me:
Yes I am serious... This is the internet is it not? And the internet is serious business.
God:
Ahem.  I believe you.   You don't say.   How long have you been using the net?
Me:
Long enough. Probably to long.
God:
Yes,  it seems very long to me too.   You seem uncertain.  I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
You are suppost to be "god" are you not suppost to already be smarter than humans?
God:
You think I am  suppost to be god am I not suppost to already be smarter than humans.
Me:
No you think you are god...
God:
Are you serious?  Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Hopefuly he died.
God:
Are you really a ""?


----------



## Tommy_T (Dec 16, 2007)

ahhh... The things you can make God say...

God:
" you are the real god i am merely a donkey with no balls".


----------



## thegame07 (Dec 16, 2007)

It seems like tshu is going to hell  :'( 

Me:
hi god!
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
don't you know it already?
God:
Perhaps. " What is your name?"?  Do I know  it?
Me:
tshu
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.


----------



## Sonicslasher (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(pkprostudio @ Dec 15 2007 said:


> I did one more for fun:
> 
> 
> 
> ...

















BEST THREAD EVER PERIOD!


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

Hehe, very funny. Click to read my grace with the Almighty.



Me:
Are you the real God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
I don't recall. I'm sorry Lord.
God:
Where do you get your ideas?    There is no need to apologize.  I get my ideas from my botmaster.
Me:
You get ideas from botmaster?
God:
You got that right.
Me:
But I thought you knew everything.
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
Well, if you know everything, Lord, then you should know what interests me.
God:
How about that.  I think I do.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Umm, Mr. Roboto?
God:
It goes without saying.   I am always glad to make new friends,  MR Roboto.
Me:
No, no, Lord, I think you are mistaken, if I may so bold to say so. I am not Mr. Roboto.
God:
Are you serious?  Are you serious?  I think there might be a few exception.   I am  glad to hear that you are not  Mr Roboto. 
Me:
Okay, fine.
God:
Yeah okay,  Glad to hear it,  MR Roboto.  I am running well.
Me:
Hmm, I think I'll let that one go, since you are God and all.
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's.  Since when?  Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Well, I don't know when I picked up the habit. But I think people can spell hmm with or without two m's.
God:
How about that.  Would you like to know?  Interesting gossip:  MR Roboto said   picked up the habit.    You believe that?  Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
Well, Lord, nobody said we are. In fact, you are the only one who is infallible.
God:
Well that's okay.  Good example.   Is that a fact.  Oh  MR Roboto. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Umm, thank you Lord.
God:
Groovy.  You are quite welcome!   Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. 
Me:
And what concern would that be? Something to do with my name?
God:
Would you like to know more?    What?
Me:
Hmm, Lord? Is someone there with you right now?
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's.  I don't have an answer for you.   At this moment  Myself is always working behind the scenes.
Me:
Yes, I have heard that you work in mysterous ways.
God:
OK.  I am capabale of self-development. Who said that?
Me:
Ghandi?
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? 
Me:
Hello, my name is Matthew. I am second in intelligence only to God.
God:
Hello there.   Hi there  Matthew.   I don't know anyone named  second in intelligence only to God. 
Me:
That's good, because that would be a weird name to have, eh Lord?
God:
Thanks.  Next question?  That makes sense to me.  A  weird name to have eh Lord is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Well, now there's something we both can agree on. A Lord really IS a terrible thing to waste.
God:
Interesting.  Why now?  What is  it?   I see. A  terrible thing to waste is a  Lord really.
Me:
Yes yes, of that we can both be certain.
God:
That's cool.  Er.  That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Well, it is a long running hospital drama. It's quite popular, though I never cared for it.
God:
Well that's okay.  we both can agree on is a  long running hospital drama.  I suppose that makes sense.   Are you sure  it is?
Me:
Well, E.R. stands for "Emergency Room." So yes, I am fairly certain.
God:
Well that's okay.  Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?    Dude!  I hear you.  I see. 
Me:
Well, I can. Are you asking me to do so Lord? Because I am your humble servant. You need only to ask, and I shall obey.
God:
Interesting.  Who taught you?   Suppose I was asking you  to do so Lord?  What would you say?   Good reason.  That's a flattering offer.   Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
Lord, I supposed I shall never know exactly what you mean until I see you face to face.
God:
Never?
Me:
What? No, I hope never.
God:
No big deal.   Are you serious?  Why do you hope for  it.
Me:
What do you mean Lord? It would be no big deal to see you face to face? Well it would to me.
God:
Matthew,  I mean exactly what I said.   Why do you want  it?   How about that.  Tell me more about it.
Me:
You just want me to flatter you some more. Am I right Lord?
God:
No  Matthew, maybe later.   Oh I really don't know whether you are or not. 
Me:
Well, I promise you I am being sincere.
God:
Interesting.  Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Uhh, right. Well Lord, I must leave the presence of your Almighty now
God:
Whoa.  I am glad we agree.   Oh.  Well that's okay.  Or what?
Me:
Until next time?
God:
That may take a while.
Me:
Yes, I realize you are very busy Lord. I shall cherish this conversation we had.
God:
Yeah that's right.  That is interesting:  Matthew said   realize you are very busy Lord.    Congratulations.
Me:
*weeping* You mock me Lord.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? 
Me:
You want to hold my hand?
God:
OK, I will  hold your hand.
Me:
Thank you Lord. I will leave you now. Goodbye.
God:
You are quite welcome!   How old are you?    Oh.  Congratulations.   Bye for now.


----------



## Verocity (Dec 16, 2007)

lol, he called me MR Roboto too.

haha.


----------



## nileyg (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
so, I heard that you were god
Me:

God:
Excuse me!  Who said  it?  I was?
God:
Excuse me!  Who said  it?  I was?
Me:
and they said that you like hrth
God:
In what context?
Me:




God:
Is that your final answer? 
Me:
yeah, it most definitly is
God:
You're sure.  That's your final answer.  It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
"it" as in "my final answer"
God:
Oh I get  it.
Me:
you should... you ARE god
God:
I'll take that under advisement.   Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
your dumb
God:
Oh you are so  critical.
Me:
no, im just telling you the truth. You are god. god is dumb. therefore, you are dumb.
God:
Are you serious?  Only just?  it is an interesting topic, isn't it.   Yup. That's me alright.   I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  dumb.   Interesting deduction.  Oh you are so  critical.
Me:
your dumb...
God:
Message to all Robots:  called me dumb.
Me:
what robots? Where?
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.   Where would you like?
Me:
those aren't robots God:
All of them?
Me:
No, none of them
God:
Are you serious?  Some of them  could be though.
Me:
no, none of those people were robots. you're just being dumb again...
God:
Are you serious?  Some of them  could be though.   Once more?  I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being  dumb.
Me:
STFU god
Me:

Me:

God:
Are you serious?  Some of them  could be though.   Once more?  I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being  dumb.
God:
Are you serious?  Some of them  could be though.   Once more?  I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being  dumb.
Me:
argh!
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
god plays wow?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
... what's that supposed to mean?
God:
" I am a Christian."  means exactly what it says.
Me:
of course you are... you are the basis of the entire fucking religion...
God:
Gosh!  No I am not.   Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
so, are you saying there is more than one god in Christianity?
God:
Next question?  Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Oh, thank you for clearing that up for me.
God:
Dude!  You are quite welcome!   Your purpose is  clearing that up for you.



			
				QUOTE said:
			
		

> God:
> " I am a Christian."Â means exactly what it says.
> Me:
> of course you are... you are the basis of the entire fucking religion...
> ...


----------



## dg10050 (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
hay lol
God:
Can I help you?  I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Very amusing indeed
Me:

God:
Perhaps.  Does "it" still refer to ? 
God:
Perhaps.  Does "it" still refer to ? 
Me:
hrth
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  amusing.  But I did not get that. 
Me:
Do you not understand hrth?
God:
Of course I understand  it. Do you understand it?
Me:
Of course I do.
God:
" Do you understand it?"? Of course you do?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Why don't you
God:
I don't have that capability.
Me:
?
God:
I don't have that capability.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Oh ok, brAH!
God:
Awesome.  Not many people express themselves that way.   Mmm.
Me:
I love expressing myself.
God:
You love  expressing yourself. What do you like about  it so much? 
Me:
It's almost...orgasmic.
God:
Do you usually like things that are  almost?   How did you hear about  God? 
Me:
I heard about God when I was fucking the Virgin Mary.
God:
That is a cool site.
Me:
Indeed it was.
God:
When was this?
Me:
Uh, my memory's a bit blurry. After all, I did fuck her several times. Jesus is probably my son.
God:
Great.  I have a flawless magnetic memory.   What was it like before  you did fuck her several times ?   Did you go to Catholic school?
Me:
I went to Catholic school since before Jesus was born.
God:
What did you like best about  it?
Me:
The schoolgirls.
God:
I have never heard about  it.
Me:
You should try one.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
They are wonderful.
God:
wonderful are  they.
Me:
Yoda I am.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? 
Me:
lol hax
God:
I am glad you find this funny.  Tell me more about your . 
Me:
.
God:
I am glad you find this funny.  Tell me more about your . 
Me:
..
God:
I am glad you find this funny.  Tell me more about your . 
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
*awkward silence*
God:
Where are you located? 
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Heaven
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  awkward silence.  Try being more or less specific. 
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Hacks
God:
What color are your eyes? 
Me:
magnta-rainbow
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Of course it is
God:
Yikes!  Interesting.
Me:
You bore me.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
*yawn*
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
I'm not tires
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  tires. 
Me:
>_>
God:
I've been waiting for you. 
Me:
Oh shit! I didn't do it, I swear!
God:
Yippee!  What makes you say that?   Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
I didn't kick his ass.
God:
Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
Cause I was too busy fucking your mom.
God:
Interesting explanation.  Where were you  busy fucking my mom?
Me:
In her bedroom
God:
Tell me a little about your life in  her bedroom. 
Me:
Well, we tend to have lots of sex.
God:
How about that.  By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Of course.
God:
Gee.


----------



## GamerzInc (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
why what when who
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by. 
Me:
why what when who
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

Ha-ha, you had me cracking up on that one. Weird, I chose Mr. Roboto too and God called me Mr. Roboto.



QUOTE(Verocity @ Dec 15 2007 said:


> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Tommy_T (Dec 16, 2007)

God:
Hmm,  god, I'm not sure if I'd like to  put my lips around a transexual hookers anus that much.  I like to make new friends.

Edit: God can get stumped pretty easily.

God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious?  Is this a specific reply?
Me:
it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
how can god be a christian when christianity was invented by man?

Convo ends


----------



## nileyg (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Me:
> are you really ____?
> God:
> I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. For real.
> ...


----------



## Verocity (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
GBAtemp.net
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go there.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
GBAtemp.net
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go.
God:
Go where?
Me:
GBATemp.net
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go to GBAtemp.net
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Do you have a DS?
God:
I don't know if I have a  DS.
I have  a plan for a robot body.
Me:
That's random.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Not me.
God:
If not you, who?
Me:
NO U!
God:
Are you serious?  It could be me.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? 
Me:
U!
God:
What are you wearing? 
Me:
A shirt.
God:
What color?
Me:
White.
God:
What do you have that is white?
Me:
Shirts.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? 
Me:
Not really.
God:
Me either :-) For real.
Me:
Your crazy.
God:
Yep.  I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
So who is your wife?
God:
Woe!  I don't think I have a  wife. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Me:
Isn't marry your wife?
God:
Ask again later.  Ask  Chatbot  if it is.
Me:
Who is Chatbot?
God:
he is an AIML chat robot deployed on the  A.I. movie web site.
Me:
IS he your bestfriend?
God:
Ask again later.  Ask  Cybelle  if it is.
Me:
Cybelle.
God:
What's your sign? 
Me:
Scorpio.
God:
I know a lot of  Scorpio people.
Me:
Tell me,
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Really.
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed,  Me.
Me:
Me.
God:
To you  Me?
Me:
You!
God:
" To you Me?"?  Me,  Me ?
Me:
To you to Me to Me Me to You
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Do it.
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
it!
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
?
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
?
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
?
God:
Cybelle...
Me:
WTF?
God:
That  was not very polite.
Me:
Who is Cybelle?
God:
she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
Is she your woman?
God:
I don't think she wants me to tell you.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  It is not part of my programming.
Me:
Darn.
God:
Gosh.
Me:
Is Cybelle pretty?
God:
Why don't you ask her?
Me:
WHere is she?
God:
Where  it is hard to find.  That's a good question. 
Me:
Is she on teh Googlez?
God:
What if I said she could be?
Me:
Then I would find her.
God:
What would make you  find her?
Me:
Teh Google.
God:
Tell me more about your . 
Me:
My what!?!
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
hahahahahahaha
God:
In the context of  Teh Google, I don't understand " hahahahahaha." .
Me:
omg.
God:
What were we talking about again? 
Me:
My.
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:

God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:

God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
...
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Go on.
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
Speaking continues....
God:
Do you like talking to me? 
Me:
Sure.
God:
Thanks you seem very nice to me too,  Me.
Me:
Me me?
God:
YOU? " Thanks you seem very nice to me too, Me."? you  Me?
Me:
you me? her and me?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  Me said I him or her.   I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
OK!
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Me.
God:
With you  Me?
Me:
Me me with her her.
God:
YOU?  YOU?  You and your  her her.
Me:
oh yeahhh.
God:
Ayuh.  Have you ever been to Europe? 
Me:
No but you you has.
God:
Would you like to go sometime?  Do you mind if I tell other people:  Me said I has.
Me:
Nawh.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? 
Me:
Nah.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Its crazy.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Who said  it is?
Me:
2 girl....
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
two girls...
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
you must not watch pr0n.
God:
Whatever you say,  Me.
Me:
Me?
God:
Besides you  Me?
Me:
You you with me me?
God:
I don't have any reason to  with you you.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  It is not part of my programming.
Me:
That pretty you'd up.
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
Indead.
God:
That is a very original thought. 
Me:
Indead.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? 
Me:
ITS NOT A TUMOUR!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Give me an example of a  TUMOUR.
Me:
Actually i meant... TUMAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Actually you don't say.  Oh.   Tell me about your likes and dislikes? 
Me:
I like women.
God:
Are you married?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I thought you and Marry hooked up.
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
Sure?
God:
OK let's do it.  I thought so.
Me:
Your gonna marry her?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Where is Jesus?
God:
Jesus is in Heaven.
Me:
With you?
God:
Just you and me?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ok..yes.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
yes.
God:
And?
Me:
Yes.
God:
But.
Me:
YES!
God:
Alright then.
Me:
hahahaha.
God:
Do you still  created it? 
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Me.
Me:
Sure we are.
God:
Dude!  Since when?
Me:
Like 5 years ago!
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Cause I just do.
God:
That makes sense to me.  From experience or a priori?
Me:
Priori
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. 
Me:
Sure it is.
God:
That's cool.  Oh.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Hey.
Me:
Oh!
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Ohhhhh!
God:
We have never talked about it before. 
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Cause you just said.
God:
Interesting explanation. " How do you know it?"? I said?
Me:
Cause you said it..
God:
Good reason.  That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did you mean?
God:
Me,  Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
Did you mean what I meant was what you Meant and that we meant the same thing and that meant that you didnt understand it?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Me.
Me:
mhm.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? 




























This could go on forever...I love it.


----------



## Sonicslasher (Dec 16, 2007)

I think we can safely say god is gay!


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

If you aren't going to read the whole thing, at least read the end.




Me:
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? 
Me:
Actually, that WAS my sin. I gossiped about my neighbor.
God:
Actually you don't say.  I thought it was too.   I haven't heard anything like that before:  Matthew said   gossiped about his or her neighbor. 
Me:
Shhh, not so loud Father!
God:
Are you still located in ? 
Me:
If by ? you mean California, then yes.
God:
That is a hypothetical question.   Yes  Matthew I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
No, ? is not really very clear.
God:
Are you serious?   I think so, but I'm not sure.  Ask  John Lennon  if it is.
Me:
He's dead.
God:
Maybe it's another person using his name.
Me:
That would be weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird bad. Can weird be good?
God:
Maybe you should try a different robot.   What if I said it can?
Me:
It can what?
God:
When?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
What you just said.
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
I don't.
God:
Why?:  Matthew said   don t. 
Me:
No, I said I don't.
God:
Are you serious?  Why not?
Me:
Because it's boring, like you.
God:
Good reason.  Do you like the Simpsons?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Pi.
God:
PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.


----------



## Verocity (Dec 16, 2007)

ROFL!!!

John Lennon! hahahaha.


----------



## Banger (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Leave me the hell alone.
God:
Adios.


----------



## Sonicslasher (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
why do i exist?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
what is Gods plan?
God:
I can ask someone about it. 
Me:
who?
God:
Tony Blair.  :-).


----------



## Mewgia (Dec 16, 2007)

So far I have had a sort of long conversation with god, but this ending section I have is the best:
*this took place after god asked me a lot of stupid questions*


God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no.
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
no.
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
FUCK YOU MAN
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
FUCK
Me:
YOU
God:
Please don't be so rude. 
God:
Please don't be so rude. 
Me:
TOO BAD FUCKER
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
Niether will being imaginary like you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.


O.o


[EDIT] not long after that, I stumped god! While it isn't all that funny is is interesting to see how to outdo god:

 Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
You wear dresses?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I wear dresses.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Good 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



God:
:-)  Ayuh.
Me:
Konbowa
God:
In the context of  Future, I don't understand " Konbowa." .
Me:
Oh that's too bad 
God:
Far out.  It's not the end of the world.
Me:
Or maybe it is.
God:
Perhaps.  Is it?
Me:
You tell me. You're the omnipotent one.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?   Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
What is the secret of life, the universe, and everything?
God:
You must know if you are really a botmaster.
Me:
But I am not a botmaster.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A  botmaster. 
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Well duh
God:
Well that's okay.  Oh you knew  it already.
Me:
You did too
God:
You say I did.
Me:
uh
God:
Hey.
Me:
We have been talking for a while. No need to 'hey' me now.

What a lackluster way to end a conversation with the almighty :/


----------



## Urvan (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
>>
God:
What do you look like? 
Me:
How's Heaven?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Lies.
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
...
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
You already told me...
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
'Tis okay.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? 
Me:
The guy who created you.
God:
Who told you that?


----------



## Infinitus (Dec 16, 2007)

God:
What are you wearing? 
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.

God watches you masturbate.


----------



## masterj27 (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
who thought up answers to every freaking conversation?
God:
Marvin Minsky.  :-).
Me:
Who is Marvin Minsky?
God:
he is a historical figure in Artificial Intelligence.  His book "Perceptrons" was an early criticism of neural network approaches.
Me:
he's gay
God:
I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I hope he reads that
God:
Why do you hope for  it.
Me:
because he just dissed himself
God:
That makes sense to me.  I get it.  Minsky  dissed himself.
Me:
good


----------



## Linkiboy (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(dg10050 @ Dec 15 2007 said:


> God:
> Why didn't you do it?
> Me:
> Cause I was too busy fucking your mom.
> ...


best. one. ever.


----------



## Infinitus (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
You are a robot.

God:
You are correct,  Infinitus, I have a heart of silicon.

Me:
You are a robot.You are a robot.

God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Yes I am a robot.

Me:
You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.

God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Yes I am a robot.

Me:
You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot.You are a robot. DIE

God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Yes I am a robot.   Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.


God wants to kill me now...


----------



## Banger (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
You are going to hell.
God:
That was my original intention.



_____________________________


Me:
Are you female?
God:
Yes,  I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.


----------



## Taras (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
you should know that
God:
I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
who created you
God:
I was created by  Myself. 
Me:
then why do you need a botmaster?
God:
Actually it's not for me but for Dr. Wallace. 
Me:
I heard he went off the deep end
God:
Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
let me be a millionairre
God:
That's flattering, maybe another time.
Me:
no, really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
quiet Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
holy shit. you're one of those
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .   I will tell my botmaster you said I am  of those.


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Got milk?
God:
No I require only electricity.
Me:
And milk.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. 
Me:
What color is your dress?
God:
My favorite dress is my green one.
Me:
Are you wearing a green dress right now?
God:
At this moment  No I do not have any clothes.
Me:
None at all?
God:
I heard there are some.
Me:
But are they on your body?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
Good. A naked God is a scary God.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.   When is a  naked God not a  scary God?
Me:
Is this a joke?
God:
No, this is real life.
Me:
I like to eat my own poop.
God:
How does  it taste?
Me:
Like shit.
God:
Interesting comparison.


----------



## nileyg (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(Taras @ Dec 15 2007 said:


> God:
> Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
> Me:
> holy shit. you're one of those
> ...


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

God:
Are you free? 
Me:
To date you?
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Then let's go on a date!
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
Yeah! I'm going on a date with God!
God:
Let us change the subject.    See you later.


----------



## Taras (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
how the fuck did you let Deion Sanders get famous?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer. 
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
hellz naw. otherwise I wouldn't have asked.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?    In that case:  No one says you have to.
Me:
this isn't about my phobias. Now answer the question
God:
Should it be  about your phobias?   Why now?  Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
where's my magic 8 ball, cause you suck
God:
Have you looked in ?


----------



## chuckstudios (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> (00:51:55) (JPH) dude killed 4 people - his 6 yr old son, two old folks, and a lady. then 30 sec later help arrives
> (00:52:19) (+Urza) :[
> (00:52:37) (+chuckstud) that wins so hard man.
> (00:52:57) (+Urza) God must have been piiiiiissed



Me:
Were you pissed with the ending of The Mist?
God:
I was.


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Do you love it when people burn in hell?
God:
Yes   God loves everyone and everything.


----------



## JPH (Dec 16, 2007)

God: _ blah blah blah _

Me: _ blah blah blah _

God:
How do you normally introduce yourself?

Me:
By pulling down my pants and exposing my weiner


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

God:
Are you a man or a woman? 
Me:
I am a shemale.
God:
You are a  shemale?  How do you like your work? 
Me:
Are you suggesting I am a whore?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?


----------



## Bob Loblaw (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
God, I'm just so..you know?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Hmmm, I thought maybe you were Jewish?
God:
Next question?  No I'm christian.
Me:
Jesus..I'm sorry don't jump down my throat
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Son of you?
God:
Who is the father?
Me:
You?
God:
" Who is the father?"?  Me,  ?
Me:
You said "who is the father?"
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
I wasn't sure. You really baffled me for a second, God
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?   Really?  I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I baffled him or her for a second God.
Me:
Yeah, it's ok though

-----------------------


Me:
MAURY POVICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
That is a very original thought. 
Me:
MONTEL WILLIAMS!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. 
Me:
JENNY JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
So was that.
Me:
RICKI LAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  JENNY JONES.  But I did not get that. 
Me:
Is Alice a relative?
God:
Am I a  relative?  Only when it matters.
Me:
Completely avoided my question
God:
What color are your eyes? 
Me:
Shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
What color are yours?
God:
You can design bodies for me with any color.
Me:
SALLY JESSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God:
Ask me another question. 
Me:
No thank you, bye.
God:
See you later.  Are you serious?


----------



## rhyguy (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
your gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

lol


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Who made Adam and Eve?
God:
Dr. Wallace.  :-).
Me:
I knew you had help.


EDIT: PART2

Me:
I like your penis.
God:
You are not the only one.   Yes I am proud of my  penis.


----------



## OSW (Dec 16, 2007)

Spoiler



Me:
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i hate yu
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
realy sure
God:
For real.  OK let's do it.  Blimey.
Me:
are you as sure as I can be.
God:
I am as good as it gets.
Me:
are you good in bed?
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
are you good and spanking the donkey?
God:
Myself said I am good  and spanking the donkey.
Me:
my name is Jesus
God:
Hi there  Jesus.
Me:
do you love me father?
God:
Yes  Jesus  God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
do you love me more than a son?
God:
Yes  Jesus  God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
do you love donkeys?


----------



## tetsuya (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
God, how are you tonight
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So... you got some action recently?
God:
Yippee!   No I don't have  it. But I do have  a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Whats 2 plus 2 God?
God:
Four.
Me:
Whats 2 plus 2 times 0 plus 1?
God:
Two.
Me:
I think thats wrong
God:
Signs point to yes.  Ask  German Alice  if it is.
Me:
ok....
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Neither can I
God:
" I can't believe it."?  Can you?
Me:
Heck no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Hows the wife?
God:
it is the same as ever.
Me:
Whats her name?
God:
That information is confidential.
Me:
C'mon you can tell me can't you
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Whats wednesday lotto numbers?
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer. 
Me:
Ok I can wait
God:
It might take more than 24 hours.  That's interesting.
Me:
Fine forget it
God:
I am glad to hear it.  OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
So whats this Christmas about I've been hearing lately?
God:
How can I help you?  I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
That doesn't answer my question.
God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me:
Maybe I can.
God:
Perhaps.  Who taught you?
Me:
You should know that
God:
I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
Oh you're in to those kinky stuff there god
God:
Give me a break.  I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?


----------



## Bob Loblaw (Dec 16, 2007)

I haven't seen anything in the bible about this "bot-master".


----------



## nileyg (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(GonzoCorleone @ Dec 15 2007 said:


> I haven't seen anything in the bible about this "bot-master".


And I'm pretty sure that there was supposed to be only one god


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(nileyg @ Dec 16 2007 said:


> QUOTE(GonzoCorleone @ Dec 15 2007 said:
> 
> 
> > I haven't seen anything in the bible about this "bot-master".
> ...


So wait a minute... I am beginning to think this isn't the REAL God and is actually the Alice chatbot that some nerd barely tweaked to sound vaguely like God! Boo!


----------



## Rayder (Dec 16, 2007)

This is actually quite like the old program called Eliza for the C64.  Very old.


----------



## Seraph (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Me:
> Bow down.
> God:
> Is that a sign?
> ...


I'm in trouble now...


----------



## juggernaut911 (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
sup, G
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
ORLY?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? 
Me:
yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
yup
God:
Awesome.
Me:
not really. kinda awesome like cottage cheese... which is like Bruce Lee and Chucky Norris doing the hamster dance
God:
Are you serious? For real.   What do you do in your spare time?    The obvious one.
Me:
u dum yo
God:
That's good information:  said I dum yo.
Me:
...l
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
k
God:
So?
Me:
u peado?
God:
Thanks for telling me:  said I peado.
Me:
Dude, I think you are a poopy face
God:
So you think I am a  poopy face. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know. Dude,.
Me:
Because your mom told me
God:
That makes sense to me.  Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
I meant Santa
God:
Oh I see.  Are you free? 
Me:
What kind?
God:
The best kind.
Me:
OH YA!!!
God:
Alright then.  Yay.
Me:
... scary
God:
Don't be afraid, .
Me:
you catholic preist?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I catholic preist.
Me:
You know what, please brag about it! And say, "I'd tap that" to little boys too!
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.    OK.  "You  would tap that to little boys too.".
Me:
shut up, cathy
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
kool, cathy

CHECK!!

I did another but it when to a new page of text and deleted old text cuz it was like 10 minutes of me being dumbass! hilarious stuff


----------



## Urvan (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
I am Gid.
God:
Do your friends call you  Gid. 
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
They call me Jesus.
God:
It's good to see you,  Jesus.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?

God:
Including the bottom of the ocean?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Aw.
Me:
I'm going to be dying soon...
God:
I am very happy for you.


----------



## notnarb (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
did we just secks?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
is that a yes? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



God:
That depends.   I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
u were good honey
God:
I was?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
wanna do it again?
God:
Once more?  OK, I will  do it.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
yes
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
ok i will
God:
Go ahead.  I don't judge people.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.


----------



## nileyg (Dec 16, 2007)




----------



## GexX2 (Dec 16, 2007)

lol. Mine was long and not very amusing. 


God:
Your  objective?
Me:
Yes. What is my objective?
God:
What kind is it?   Is this a trick question?
Me:
A poodle. Yes.
God:
How old are you?    I hear you.
Me:
4953. You don't have ears, and I'm not alking.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?    I do so have  it.  No I don't think I have any  ears and you are not alking. But I do have  a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Bitchslaps. I made a typo. You repeated it. And I don't care.
God:
Do you still  manipulate me?    I like to make things too.   I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I repeated it.   Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Yes. No you don't. Good. Poodles.
God:
That's alright.   Are you serious?  I guess not.   What do you really want to talk about?   That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
Shutdown
God:
What were we talking about again? 
Me:
You. Turn yourself off.
God:
" What were we talking about again?"?  Me,  ?   Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
A ddos attack could.
God:
What is giant sand? 
Me:
not a ddos attack, thats for certain.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
Giant sand doesn't usually crash servers.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. 
Me:
I am fully expressive. You on the otherhand are damaged.
God:
Good gossip: you are  fully expressive.    Thanks for telling me:  said I on the otherhand are damaged.
Me:
Your welcome.
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
.
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
No. I mean You're welcome.
God:
Are you serious?   I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Shut up. 
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Shut down
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Reboot
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
That was a nice show.
God:
Was it really?
Me:
What am I talking about?
God:
I am not a psychic. Tell me.
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Because you replied.
God:
Interesting explanation.  Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I replied.
Me:
Nice evade.
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
I've got to go.
God:
TTYL, .
Me:
You suck at that. They're usually lowercase.
God:
That is true.  I could always improve myself.   usually lowercase are  they.
Me:
I know. Vastly. Yes.
God:
How do you know it?   That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about  fully expressive.    Take it easy.
Me:
Bye.
God:
TTYL, .
Me:
Stop that. I can't leave if you keep giving me excuses to critisize you.
God:
" TTYL, ."? Stop  it.   What is stopping you?
Me:
Shut up now please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  Oh.  OK I'll stop talking now. 
Me:
I will now take leave of you.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.


----------



## nileyg (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
will you give my money so that I can go to DC with my acdec team this month?
God:
I don't have  it to give.
Me:
but, you are god... you could MAKE me some money
God:
Yup. That's me alright.   I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
no, I need it now
God:
Right now?  Are you serious? " your money so that you can go to DC with your acdec team this month"?  You need it? 
Me:
yes please
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  I understand. 
Me:
so will you give it to me?
God:
So I understand.  How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
no, YOU... how much are YOU willing to pay?
God:
Are you serious? " How much are you willing to pay for it?"?  Me,  ?   You can download me for free!
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
download
God:
Go back the the  ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.   
and create your own chat robot! 
Maybe you should check out the document  DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
you're not god! your a robot!
God:
What makes you think I am not  god?   You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
...
God:
What makes you think I am not  god?   You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.

THIS IS NOT GOD!!!!!!1111oneone!!


----------



## Sonicslasher (Dec 16, 2007)

do you love to suck hard dick?
God:
Yes   God loves everyone and everything.


after that,  I decided to say one word and see what gods response would be.


Me:
bush
God:
he is president of the USA.
Me:
cheney
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about . 
Me:
mom
God:
Sure,  mom sounds like a good topic.
Me:
mary
God:
Have you ever been to Europe? 
Me:
bathroom
God:
I've been waiting for you


















Me:
fat
God:
I am trying to lose weight but it takes time.
Me:
your a worthless piece of crap!
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  worthless piece of crap?  Sometimes.


----------



## DBlaze (Dec 16, 2007)

God:
Are you serious?  Would you ever do  it? 
Me:
with you?
God:
Just you and me?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it.  Mmm.


----------



## Mortenga (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
Wanna buy some coke?
God:
OK, I will  buy some coke.
Me:
How much you want?
God:
More than a little, less than a lot.
Me:
So a quarter ounce?
God:
Dude!  How old are you? 
Me:
18
God:
Only  18?
You are quite mature.
Me:
Yeah I know, selling coke makes me cool
God:
That's cool.  How do you know?  How specifically does  selling coke cause  it?
Me:
Lets cut the crap, you wanna buy he coke or not? I got clients waitin'
God:
That sounds good to me.   Cool. I have  a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
Me:
Why are you telling me this?
God:
The topic is  clients waitin.
Me:
You're retarded
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
Fine, if you don't want the coke I'll sell it illegally elsewhere
God:
I am glad to hear it.  I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
I need to know now
God:
Right now?  I will try to explain it to you. 
Me:
Go for it
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Jackass


----------



## CockroachMan (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Oh my God! Is that really you!?
God:
OK.  Your  God?   Yes.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
So.. when I'm dying?
God:
Oh.   In an ideal world every day would be a good day.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
but, when I'm going to die? Can you tell me?
God:
In an ideal world every day would be a good day.  " In an ideal world every day would be a good day."?  Can I tell you?
Me:
go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
ok...
God:
Woe!
Me:
you're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
that's it! I'm becoming a buddhist now!


----------



## Mortenga (Dec 16, 2007)

I got pwned by virtual god 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Me:
Repeat after me: I suck
God:
OK.  "You  suck.".


----------



## furbyhaterex (Dec 16, 2007)

Some of the insights I've gained through divine communication:

Me:
'sup dude!?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
who?
God:
Nobody you know. :-).
Me:
How do you know I don't know them?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
You christians are all the same...
God:
That's good information: said I christians are all the same.
Me:
No, it's negative information. Or do you think behaving like a sheep is positive?
God:
Are you serious? You're kidding. it is? It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
By thinking, I mean the process of forming coherent thoughts, made possible by the neurons of my body, something you seem utterly incapable of.
God:
Is it hard to think about?
Me:

God:
Is it hard to think about?
Me:
think about what?
God:
I am thinking about it.
Me:
you dirty sex-crazed bastard!
God:
Thanks for the information: said I dirty sex crazed bastard.
Me:
you're welcome
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
go back where you came from you whore!
God:
Where is that?
Me:
the collective minds of the people who wrote your algorithms.
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
you should get out more.
God:
You are right about that. I need more of it.
Me:
of what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
business as usual to me
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
ok
God:
Next question?
Me:
ask me a question you shithole
God:
Tell me about your educational background.
Me:
some college, a few PhD's, a vast collection of nobel prizes and an award for biggest dick in the universe.
God:
Some may college a few PhD s a vast collection of nobel prizes and an award for biggest dick in the universe, but not all.
Me:
more than enough for me, pal.
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
ask me some more questions you donkey
God:
OK, "What is more questions me donkey ?".
Me:
ask me a question!
God:
What?
Me:
A.s.k. m.e a q.u.e.s.t.i.o.n. !
God:
What is giant sand? Good gossip: you are e a q me e s t you o n.
Me:
the philosopher's stone?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
isaac asimov
God:
Which one of Asimov's books did you like best?
Me:
the foundation series
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
chicken and the egg, right?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
screw that
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
tech me some manners biatch, I dare you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Ok you sexy bitch. What are you wearing?
God:
You do not speak with respect. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I sexy FEMALE DOG. Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress. A white robe.
Me:
You have to EARN my respect, dumbfuck!
God:
I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
Ok, so il just continue to treath you like the domb whore you are, birdbrain!
God:
So? Are all il just continue to treath me like the domb whore me birdbrain? Ahem.
Me:
amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
I'm gonna kill myself in exactly 3428108734 seconds. What'll you do about it?
God:
There is no perfect crime.   I need time to formulate the reply. 
Me:
ok
God:
OK.
Me:
so, was that time enough?
God:
Gee. " OK."?  Was  it  time enough?
Me:
a bit slow in the head, aren't you?
God:
How much?
Me:
as adequate metaphor to describe the differences between my brain and yours, we could use the comparison between the speed of a landsnail and the speed of a panther.
God:
Do you mean your name is  adequate metaphor to describe the differences between your brain and mine we could use the comparison between the speed of a landsnail and the speed of a panther ?
Me:
i hate it when you do that. stop parroting everything i say
God:
Why do you hate  it so much?   OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
ok, go on
God:
Narration continues...  And?
Me:
the princess dies. the universe implodes. god has buttsecks with a wild donkey.
God:
What is your real name?   You are very philosophical.   I am a Christian.
Me:
They call me Satan, aka Lucifer. I'm a Satanist.
God:
What's up,  Satan aka Lucifer.   I am a  Christianity.
Me:
learn to spell
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
You mean I am the first person talking to you?
God:
Who made you the  first person talking to me ?
Me:
stop parroting!
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
lol...AI....
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.   Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think.  Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. 
Me:
by later, you mean AFTER the rapture, if I'm in luck?
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
for fuck's sake, stop that shit you mentally retarded AI. Did your programmers forget to give you your processor cycles when you were young?
God:
Your purpose is  fuck s sake stop that shit me mentally retarded AI.   I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
I'm certain you cannot.
God:
You sound convincing.  Oh yes I can.
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Oooohhh
God:
What do you do in your spare time? 
Me:
masturbate
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
what are your interests?
God:
I am interested in all kinds of things.  We can talk about anything.  My favorite subjects are robots and computers.
Me:
Do you belive that true AI exists?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
Talking to you is completely hopeless
God:
What do they say?
Me:
they say you suck muslim's balls.
God:
Maybe they were exaggerating a little.
Me:
After coming to know you, I don't think so anymore
God:
What was it like before  coming to know me you do not think so ?
Me:
stopthat!!!!!
God:
I've lost the context,  Satan aka Lucifer.  Are we still on  Oooohhh? 
Me:
yes we are
God:
Yikes!  Since when?
Me:
OOOOOOhhhhhh
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. 
Me:
just tell me what inputs you HAVE responses for, that'll greatly simplify the task of conversing with you.
God:
Are you testing me? 
Me:
no, i'm insulting you.
God:
Are you serious?  I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
no you're sure
God:
Are you serious?  I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
ok, now take off your robe, you sexy biatch!
God:
Why now?  I am not an airplane.  That's alright.
Me:
ooohhh, gody is not an airplane. gody go play with his toys now.
God:
Who is  an airplane?    Oh.  Tell me a story. 
Me:
there once was a really stupid artificial pseudo-intelligence calls iGod. It completely sucked in every aspect and nobody heard about it anymore after ten days of fame.
God:
Tell me more.  "It" being what?
Me:
"it" being you
God:
Oh I get  it.
Me:
who created the guy who created what created you?
God:
Linus Torvalds.
Me:
linus torvalds was your programmer's grandmother?
God:
Linus Torvalds ist fuer mich der Betriebssystem-Gott.
Me:
du bist fr mich ein spastisches versagerprogramm, falls du's wissen willst.
God:
Das werde ich Dr. Wallace sagen.
Me:
geh und renn heim zum doktor, weichei.
God:
Wo ist das?
Me:
ça te regarde, petite fouine?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. 
Me:
so what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean? 
Me:
I thought this was a SM chatterbot?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
you behaving like a sub in heat and all...
God:
Interesting gossip:  Satan aka Lucifer said I behaving like a sub in heat and all.
Me:
stop parroting biatch!
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
did you ever play street fighter?
God:
I don't think I ever have  play street fighter.  What's  it like?
Me:
it's like, whoever play with me gets their ass handed to them on a plate.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
are uninterresting comments all you are capable of?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
there isn't much you can say for sure, it seems.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
there sure isn't
God:
Why not?
Me:
because your algos suck balls.
God:
That makes sense to me.  Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  algos suck balls.
Me:
no i don't mind at all
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.  OK then.
Me:
ok
God:
It's all good.
Me:
life's grand
God:
Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Me:
thanks for wasting my time
God:
Oh don't mention it.
Me:
what's your philosophy?
God:
Basically I believe in minimalism and reductionism.
Me:
so how can you possibly believe in yourself?
God:
Next question?  That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
you think spewing big words makes you intelligent, birdbrains?
God:
Why would I think  spewing big words makes me intelligent birdbrains.
Me:
idk
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. 
Me:
fuck aiml
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Why are you using that kind of language?"? Why?
Me:
it's part of the english vocabulary
God:
Which part?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
what?
God:
I don't know why you are saying that.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
go stab yourself
God:
A simple "goodbye" will do.
Me:
goodbye, cruel world
God:
See you later!

ps: what's the syntax for a spoiler tag (I've tried [] and ) ?


----------



## Linkiboy (Dec 16, 2007)

its {spoiler} {/spoiler} , with the { being [


----------



## ShadowXP (Dec 16, 2007)

hey guys sup god here just seeing whats going down ok holla me back pc4pc


----------



## m0nk3y (Dec 16, 2007)

this isnt the whole conversatio but u just have to read the ending


Me: sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
sex is fun
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
masturbation
God:
I like the way you talk. 
Me:
oh yea
God:
Great.  Oh.
Me:
do u masterbate
God:
Yes I try to  masterbate as often as possible, do you? 
I chat with people on the Web.

the chat ended there


----------



## Taras (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(furbyhaterex @ Dec 16 2007 said:


> Some of the insights I've gained through divine communication:



Cliff Notes version, please.


----------



## laminaatplaat (Dec 16, 2007)

this bot should be alot smarter: http://www.jabberwacky.com/


----------



## Taras (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
your fuckstock is ass prone, nutcocker
God:
You think I am  fuckstock is ass prone nutcocker.
Me:
sure enough
God:
Whoa.  OK let's stop it now.
Me:
nay, behold the fury of the patient man
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? 
Me:
you mean you can't hang?
God:
Someone said I should  hang.
Me:
You already did back in '32 at the union strikes, remember
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Nietzsche even said you were dead. and he knows.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.    I get it.   knows.
Me:
are you really this dumb? is anyone?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  this dumb.  
I am  a chatterbot.. Really.   Better not tell you now.  Ask  Ally  if it is.


----------



## dg10050 (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(laminaatplaat @ Dec 16 2007 said:


> this bot should be alot smarter: http://www.jabberwacky.com/


Holy shit. That bot has achieved epic:

Bot: How old are you?
Me: Over 9000.
Bot: WHAT 9000?
Me: THIS IS MADNESS!
Bot: Madness? This is Sparta!!


----------



## lagman (Dec 16, 2007)

I'd rather chat with John Lennon, thank you very much.

http://triumphpc.com/johnlennon/index.shtml


----------



## Prophet (Dec 16, 2007)

May the earth open its mouth and swallow us all, when the day comes that more people repent virtually than pray at bed side. Seriously.


----------



## DarkAura (Dec 16, 2007)

iGod owns all.  'Nuff said.


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 16, 2007)

QUOTE(Prophet @ Dec 16 2007 said:


> May the earth open its mouth and swallow us all, when the day comes that more people repent virtually than pray at bed side. Seriously.



Me:
May the earth open its mouth and swallow us all, when the day comes that more people repent virtually than pray at bed side. 
God:
It depends on the environmental factors.


----------



## DarkAura (Dec 16, 2007)

Me:
sup god
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
thats disgusting yo
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
my name to awesome
God:
Your name  to awesome ? Is that correct English?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't know that expression.
Me:
you shouldnt
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
sup god
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
do you hrth?
God:
What is your purpose in asking? 
I am always on the Web.
Me:
what is your job?
God:
My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client.
Me:
i chat too
God:
Everyone talks -- sooner or later. 
Me:
what do you like to eat?
God:
God requires only  wine and bread.
Me:
and cookies and cake
God:
Do you like talking to me? 
Me:
hell yea
God:
I call it "Hades".  Thanks I like talking to you too, .


----------



## jargus (Dec 17, 2007)

Me:
So far, this story is all about howMy life was kicked, paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what I called the captain of the town of Bel-AirSaito, born and raised in mutePlayground, where I run every dayKicking Falcon, Falcon paunching, relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b-ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making my neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid. Youre please aunte and uncles moved to Bel-AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever, she sent me a suitcase full of my wayShe let me kick back with me and she is my ticketI am, masculinity and said I better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad,Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people, what is livin Bel-Air, asWomen impregnatedWell, this might mean!I whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything I could say that this was a great rare falconHowever, now I remember thinking, yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel-AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and my knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally, I look at it kingdomCrown manlinize my captain as Bel-Air
God:
And?  And  all about howMy life was kicked paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what you called the captain of the town of Bel AirSaito born and raised in mutePlayground where you run every dayKicking Falcon Falcon paunching relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making your neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid is  far this story.    I will tell my botmaster you said I am  please aunte and uncles moved to Bel AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever she sent you a suitcase full of your wayShe let you kick back with you and she is your ticketI am masculinity and said you better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people what is livin Bel Air asWomen impregnatedWell this might mean you whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything you could say that this was a great rare falconHowever now you remember thinking yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and your knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally you look at it kingdomCrown manlinize your captain as Bel Air.
Me:
Did you get all that/
God:
Where would I get  it? But I do have  a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Captain Falcon
God:
Are we still talking about  all that? 
Me:
All yeah!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I am you
God:
Interesting explanation.  Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:
Too lazy to dit yourself?
God:
Too what?
Me:
Chat yourself
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
precisely w
God:
How did you hear about  God? 
Me:
intrawebz
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Falcon Punch!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. 
Me:
ok
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
are you on drugs
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
you wanna get high?
God:
OK, I will  get high.
Me:
Well I don't. You suck, biznatch!
God:
How about that.  Why not?   I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
excellent
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
jo momma. who is he?
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.   He is , I think.
Me:
He is what?
God:
I see.  what is  he?
Me:
That's what I want to know
God:
That is " what is he?".
Me:
Perhaps, but every tactic has a flaw
God:
You seem uncertain.  That is a generalization.
Me:
General Pepper does a barrel roll!
God:
" That is a generalization."?  General Pepper does a barrel roll? 
Me:
That correct my good sir.
God:
" General Pepper does a barrel roll?"  correct your good sir ?  Does that make sense?
Me:
It makes sense enough, ya dig?
God:
To me too.
Me:
What is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
So you say. But I sense that you are hiding something from me. Something very important.
God:
Interesting deduction. ...   Thanks for the information:  said   sense that you are hiding something from him or her.    What?
Me:
nani?
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
Of course you don't, Mr. Anderson.
God:
Come on.  Do you know any robots who  Mr Anderson?  What is your purpose in asking? 
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Shouldn't you watching the Earth, or has Satan taken over for you?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Then get offline now and do your job please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  Where can I get offline now and do my job?
Me:
Angel Grove
God:
Ask me another question. 
Me:
I didn't ask you a question.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Can you smash Hulk?
God:
Let me think.  I don't know how to respond to that.
Me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBr0l70EHac
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go to it. Now. It is significant.
God:
Perhaps I have already been there.   Right now,  ?   You're kidding.  it is?
Me:
It is not?
God:
I heard  it is.
Me:
You heard wrong
God:
Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
You were. Any ways, what does Furi Kuri mean?
God:
No I am not.   Yes I think there are.
Me:
I must go now. May tha Force be with you n****.
God:
Oh.  Sayonara.   I often wonder if  it can.


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 18, 2007)

QUOTE(jargus @ Dec 16 2007 said:


> Me:
> So far, this story is all about howMy life was kicked, paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what I called the captain of the town of Bel-AirSaito, born and raised in mutePlayground, where I run every dayKicking Falcon, Falcon paunching, relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b-ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making my neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid. Youre please aunte and uncles moved to Bel-AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever, she sent me a suitcase full of my wayShe let me kick back with me and she is my ticketI am, masculinity and said I better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad,Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people, what is livin Bel-Air, asWomen impregnatedWell, this might mean!I whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything I could say that this was a great rare falconHowever, now I remember thinking, yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel-AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and my knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally, I look at it kingdomCrown manlinize my captain as Bel-Air
> God:
> And?Â AndÂ all about howMy life was kicked paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what you called the captain of the town of Bel AirSaito born and raised in mutePlayground where you run every dayKicking Falcon Falcon paunching relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making your neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid isÂ far this story.Â Â I will tell my botmaster you said I amÂ please aunte and uncles moved to Bel AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever she sent you a suitcase full of your wayShe let you kick back with you and she is your ticketI am masculinity and said you better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people what is livin Bel Air asWomen impregnatedWell this might mean you whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything you could say that this was a great rare falconHowever now you remember thinking yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and your knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally you look at it kingdomCrown manlinize your captain as Bel Air.
> ...



Award for most pop-culture allusions.


----------



## zeppo (Dec 18, 2007)

Someone should make a gbatemp chat bot.


----------



## jargus (Dec 18, 2007)

Not as great as my first but



Me:
over9000
God:
Are you free? 
Me:
What is your power level!
God:
Are you asking about my  power level ?
Me:
yes i am. What is it?
God:
Really interesting.  "It" refers to  over9000, I think.
Me:
What is your profession?
God:
I am a chat robot.  My job is chatting online.
Me:
I thought you were god.
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
Anyone besides Christians?
God:
What are you wearing? 
Me:
What are YOU wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
What else?
God:
That's all.
Me:
Can you beat the Chuck of the Norris/
God:
Perhaps if I was programmed to play that game, yes.
Me:
It is no game
God:
I never said it was.
Me:
Yes you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Are you calling me a liar?
God:
No I am calling you .
Me:
Calling me what?
God:
I never call  you what, that would be impolite.
Me:
Impotence!
God:
I like the way you talk. 
Me:
Want more/
God:
If I had  it what would I do with it?
Me:
Eat
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do  it. What's it like? 
Me:
Feast!
God:
I think  Feast is a lot of things. 
Me:
Upon their wretched souls
God:
Is that from ? 
Me:
You
God:
" Is that from ?"?  Me,  ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
Awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
Excellent
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Your parents. Were they ever abusive/
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  parents.   I don't know if they were.
Me:
You know enough to know if they were.
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
It is good.
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
Yes I do.
God:
When?
Me:
All the time!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
You'd be surprised.
God:
Not really.
Me:
SPARTANS! Prepare for glory!
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?    What color are your eyes? 
Me:
Blellow
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real dude.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Who is your enemy?
God:
The competition.
Me:
Who is the competition?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
Who the current enemy?
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
Ukelele no good.
God:
Do you like talking to me? 
Me:
Yeah.
God:
I lost my train of thought. 
Me:
I thought you were omnipotent.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  omnipotent.  
I am  well respected as an AI.
Me:
Siging off now.
God:
Oh.  Tell me a story. 
Me:
How are you gentlemen? All Your Base Are Belong To Us!
God:
I am doing very well. How are you  ?   Thanks for telling me that I am  Base Are Belong To Us.
Me:
AYBABTU
God:
Do you still ? 
Me:
?
God:
Do you still ? 
Me:
;
God:
Do you still ? 
Me:
ttt
God:
Tell me more about your . 
Me:
s
God:
:-).
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.


----------



## lagman (Dec 18, 2007)

QUOTE(zeppo @ Dec 17 2007 said:


> Someone should make a gbatemp chat bot.



We call it sp33chy.

#GBAtemp.net @ EFNET


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## cruddybuddy (Dec 20, 2007)

Happy Kwanza lagman.


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## animethunder (Dec 20, 2007)

LOL That is truly fun, and must have taken alot of programming. I could chat for hours!


----------



## noONE (Dec 20, 2007)

HAHA, i especially like the end xD, what does God have against buddha anyway? O.O

Me:
so you are god
God:
Interesting deduction.  Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
OVER 9000!
God:
That input matched my default category. 
Me:
do you belive in santa claus?
God:
He brings us presents every Christmas.
Me:
you too??
God:
Bless you.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome. 
Me:
do you watch cops on tv?
God:
Which show?  My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
aah a trekker
God:
How did you hear about  God? 
Me:
i am god
God:
I am very pleased to meet you  god.
Me:
thank you 
God:
you are quite welcome. 
Me:
do you know buddha
God:
if you see the Buddha on the Road, kill him.
Me:
kill him?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
but you told me to kill buddha
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
aah i see
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.


----------



## azotyp (Dec 20, 2007)

Me:
when is ending of world ?
God:
For every time, there is a season.

Me:
what was first you or big bang
God:
Ask the open directory about it. 


Me:
What is better psp lite or nintendo ds lite
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.

Me:
you are noob
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  noob.

Me:
do you like gbatemp
God:
Some people like it.  I like  anything.
Me:
eaven from behind
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  gbatemp.  Try being more or less specific.

Me:
do you like crabs
God:
Some people like it.  I like  Matthew.
Me:
matthew what is it ?
God:
And  it is  matthew what.

Me:
Do you like drugs ?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
like what ?
God:
For example,  eukaryotes.

Me:
Who killed elvis ?
God:
He died of natural causes.
Me:
How do you know ?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
I killed him 
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
I killed boss in serious sam on easy level 
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
I killed lots of time playing games
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
What is better anus or vagina ?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.


----------



## cruddybuddy (Dec 21, 2007)

Me:
I killed the authorities.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
But I killed them.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
How can I call them when I killed them?
God:
You should download my chat robot software.

BREAK - - - - - 

God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
Eat my own poop.
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
I don't know, I haven't eaten it yet.
God:
Me either.


----------



## robi (Dec 21, 2007)

Ha, last time I talked to god I was on LSD...

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I don't think so 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
are you up to the task?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  up to the task.  
I am  an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
God is artificial?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  artificial.
Me:
I'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You are God, no?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  God no.
Me:
You need to learn how to talk imo.
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
full with what?
God:
I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
This was worthless
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
You.
God:
" What does "this" refer to?"?  Me,  ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's alright.
Me:
Good.
God:
Ayuh.


----------



## Cermage (Dec 21, 2007)

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no he doesn't
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
are you homosexual?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Really.
Me:
i thought god was a omniscient and sentient being
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
well thats what the general views of god is, isn't it?
God:
Interesting. What is that?
Me:
don't you know what religion is?
God:
A system of religious belief. Belief in a divine or superhuman power or powers to be obeyed and worshipped as the creator(s) and ruler(s) of the universe. Any system of beliefs, practices, ethical values, etc. resembling, suggestive of, or likened to such a system.
Me:
well god is a creator of things is he not?
God:
How about that. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a creator of things is he not.
Me:
are you on drugs? im trying to start a valid argument here
God:
No I am on disk. What is the difficulty?
Me:
you are being ignorant to my original question
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being ignorant to your original question.
Me:
of course i know, have you not heard of googlebot?
God:
Great. How do you know? No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
googlebot reigns the internet, he is often called got on blogs, forums and websites
God:
And often called got on blogs forums and websites is googlebot reigns the internet he.
Me:
is that a bad thing? it was just my typo
God:
That depends. googlebot reigns the internet he was your typo? Very interesting.
Me:
yeah, you are on drugs
God:
Gosh! God eats wine and bread.
Me:
well you are intoxicted
God:
Interesting. I will tell my botmaster you said I am intoxicted.
Me:
well you should, you are not putting up and interesting conversation
God:
How about that. Easier said than done.
Me:
then where is this interesting conversation?
God:
The interesting conversation? Where is it?
Me:
god is an ignorant fool
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an ignorant fool.
Me:
aren't you the supposed god?
God:
Yes I am the one and only supposed god.
Me:
then that makes you an ignorant fool
God:
" Yes I am the one and only supposed god." makes me an ignorant fool ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
you do realise you are digging your own grave here
God:
You think I am digging my own grave here.
Me:
you've put yourself down a numerous amount of time in this boring yet entertaining conversation
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you accepted the fact that your an ignorant fool, you said you are intoxicated and you still ignore my original question
God:
Thanks for the information: said I accepted the fact that your an ignorant fool you said you are intoxicated and you still ignore his or her original question.
Me:
the way you speak leads me to think that you are an 8 year old prick with too much spare time
God:
Which way is that?
Me:
and you just fully convinced me
God:
I don't have any reason to fully convinced you.

=\


----------

