# And you thought Twilight was bad...



## Veho (Dec 11, 2009)

Ever wonder what new supernatural romance "saga" (it's more of a soap opera, really) will come riding in on Twilight's coat tails? Penny Arcade hazarded a guess once: 









*They were close, but not quite there.*


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## Shinryuji (Dec 11, 2009)

What.

The.

FUCK?????

Seriously, what the hell is going on? Angels? 
I really hate this form of romance/Horror.


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 11, 2009)

Hahaha.

I told them they should have killed Stephanie Meyer before she could ruin about a decade of books.

Then again it's nothing Harry Potter didn't already start, eh. (Although at least they didn't go making up mythological species and giving them the names of already defined ones like Vampires ; If you think that 'thing' from Twilight is a vampire, you are sorely mistaken).


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## outgum (Dec 11, 2009)

Vampires dont actually exist, therefore you can't define them yourself, only your mear opinion based on what YOU know.

And get over it, Obviously something is good about these books, people are buying them, and if there is sales, why not keep writing them? 
I rather like this how new idea of a vampire and im glad its opening up different varients, instead of everyone having the same god damn opinion, people just refuse to accept other peoples ideas >_>


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## Linkiboy (Dec 11, 2009)

outgum said:
			
		

> And get over it, Obviously something is good about these books, people are buying them, and if there is sales, why not keep writing them?


Hopefully when you say people you mean girls instead. I do not know of a single (straight) guy who likes Twilight and doesn't just say it to try to get laid.

That alone should be enough to clue you in on why people hate the series.


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## outgum (Dec 11, 2009)

Heres your first guy then?
I'm Straight, I have a girlfriend, and i dont say it to get laid?
and i brought them to read them, and i enjoyed them, and i believe i got my moneys worth
So i cant see WHY people cant enjoy the series, i did.
I THINK its the fact that someone FINALLY gave a different opinion on a vampire, and since people in todays society get beaten down for there ideas, that it lead to it being completely hated.

And im not just refering to twilight now, I mean the whole genre of like a vampire romance, which ALL the producers are doing now, so its obviously liked?


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 11, 2009)

outgum said:
			
		

> Vampires dont actually exist, therefore you can't define them yourself, only your mear opinion based on what YOU know.
> 
> Oh, this response again.
> 
> ...


No, that isnot the case AT ALL.
In fact the 'popular' thing tends to be the shittiest.
1)Macs - Windows do everything they do and better
2)Norton Antivirus - I could name at least 30 free antivirus that do a better job, and paid ones that succeed so far past Norton it's not funny.
3)iPods - They have shitty format support, everything in their store was DRM, it was all shit, the iPods themselves were/are flimsy, cost 5x as much as the next brand with the same space on it

I could give a ton of other examples too. Mainstream is almost always worse than the alternative. Very few times has the mainstream option been the better option.


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## Linkiboy (Dec 11, 2009)

outgum said:
			
		

> Heres your first guy then?
> I'm Straight, I have a girlfriend, and i dont say it to get laid?
> and i brought them to read them, and i enjoyed them, and i believe i got my moneys worth
> So i cant see WHY people cant enjoy the series, i did.
> ...


Then obviously you don't read much or you enjoy glittering vampires in totally straight way


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 11, 2009)

outgum said:
			
		

> Heres your first guy then?
> I'm Straight, I have a girlfriend, and i dont say it to get laid?
> and i brought them to read them, and i enjoyed them, and i believe i got my moneys worth
> So i cant see WHY people cant enjoy the series, i did.
> ...


>Here
>i
>i
>dont
>i
>i
>i
>i
>opinion used incorrectly
>todays
>there
>lead

Jesus Christ could you make anymore blatant mistakes in one post. This is probably exactly why you like Twilight, it's targeted to estrogen filled teenage girls and 30 year old obese women who want to be loved. The reason you like it is that you haven't realized that you're homosexual yet, or you really want a girl like that Kristen chick. I mean the only other option is that you never had a father who taught you what gay was.


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## Veho (Dec 11, 2009)

Pyrofyr said:
			
		

> If I come out of nowhere and define a dragon with wings who has scales as hard as rock and call him a "Unicorn" I've 'stolen' the name and used it wrongly. It's terrible and is killing fantasy.


Vamipres were initially bloated, purple, mindless creatures _without_ fangs that killed cattle and spread disease. Bram Stoker "took the name and used it wrongly". Your point is moot.


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## Shinryuji (Dec 11, 2009)

Vampires were originally made up by Romainan farmers to scare children to sleep, Dracula just had a habit of cutting peoples heads off and raping virgin girls. FARMERS GOT PISSED. Long story short. He got his head stuck on a spike and became one of the most famous icons of classic horror.

Who cares whether his point is moot? The vampires that Stephanie Meyer created are more like blood thirsty ogres. Being made of diamond and all.


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## Veho (Dec 11, 2009)

Shinryuji said:
			
		

> Who cares whether his point is moot?


Who cares whether vampires sparkle? Seriously, who gives a crap?


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## House Spider (Dec 11, 2009)

To it! Twiilight was great. (At making me sick.)


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## _Chaz_ (Dec 11, 2009)

Veho said:
			
		

> Shinryuji said:
> 
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> 
> ...



Vampires don't sparkle.

Fairies do.


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## Veho (Dec 11, 2009)

_Chaz_ said:
			
		

> Fairies do.


No they don't.


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 11, 2009)

Veho said:
			
		

> Shinryuji said:
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>Search for book at library with term "Vampire"
>Receive Sparkle

A lot of people care. That's why there's a huge community of people who hate Twilight (about as big as the teenage girls loving it).


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## Hop2089 (Dec 12, 2009)

outgum said:
			
		

> Heres your first guy then?
> I'm Straight, I have a girlfriend, and i dont say it to get laid?
> and i brought them to read them, and i enjoyed them, and i believe i got my moneys worth
> So i cant see WHY people cant enjoy the series, i did.
> ...



You poor thing.

You should have put your foot down and said no, even if you were the feminist type saying no would be a good call because the movie is a bad example for girls and women, it would've helped your girlfriend out.


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## tinymonkeyt (Dec 12, 2009)

Lol, watching dudes argue about vampires is most entertaining :3


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 12, 2009)

Arguments are 2 sided. This is a monologue with interruptions.


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## Veho (Dec 12, 2009)

Pyrofyr said:
			
		

> A lot of people care. That's why there's a huge community of people who hate Twilight (about as big as the teenage girls loving it).


And both are equally ridiculous.


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## PettingZoo (Dec 12, 2009)

Aren't twilight vampires just sparkling faggots in trees?


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## Raika (Dec 12, 2009)

PettingZoo said:
			
		

> Aren't twilight vampires just sparkling faggots in trees?


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## Veho (Dec 12, 2009)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> No... Well first of all, they're not romantic. Its not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he's suckin' the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don't sleep in coffins lined in taffeta. You wanna kill one, you drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin' heart. Sunlight turns 'em into crispy critters.


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## Inferior_Design (Dec 12, 2009)

Well....   Too many douchebaggy wanna-be vampire kids hanging around.  Time to go burn down the Hot Topic.


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## Hatsu (Dec 12, 2009)

PettingZoo said:
			
		

> Aren't twilight vampires just sparkling faggots in trees?


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## BORTZ (Dec 12, 2009)

correct me if im wrong, i thought vampires burst into flame or turned to stone when they are hit by sunlight.


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## Veho (Dec 12, 2009)

BortzANATOR said:
			
		

> correct me if im wrong, i thought vampires burst into flame or turned to stone when they are hit by sunlight.


Only in the more modern interpretations.


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 12, 2009)

Veho said:
			
		

> Pyrofyr said:
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I agree, the best take on it is to just ignore it all.

However, when every female between age 14 and 30 is whirring around everywhere with shitty Twilight shirts on, referencing it every other sentence or going on about "Oh Edward" because they ate a piece of bread that sparkled, it's no longer something you just ignore. :/

It's a decently shitty book and deserves a bad rating besides that I could care less what happens to it (as long as it doesn't get a video game, jesus christ it's already removed movies).


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## ` regret . (Dec 13, 2009)

There's a bunch of books with covers like that, there's this one girl I know and vampire romance is all she reads but she has like 70 different books. >_> And they all have similar covers and similar plots.


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 14, 2009)

And you can find all those shitty books at Barnes & Nobles.

The funny thing about books is that they've  been around for so long that it's not going to 'ruin books' to do this, like people are scared of in video games because shit like Halo leads to what will be around a decade of haphazardly coded shitty generic FPS games.


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## alidsl (Dec 14, 2009)

This


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## Overlord Nadrian (Dec 16, 2009)

I smell a flame war...


Spoiler


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 16, 2009)

alidsl said:
			
		

> This
> QUOTELamia is a long reaching family of vampires where each generation is, in fact vampiric.


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## KingdomBlade (Dec 17, 2009)

Why does everyone hate Stephenie Meyer when they haven't read all her books yet? There is a book, written by her, that nobody has heard of yet and it's an amazing book, albeit a bit tedious but very much worth it and I suggest you all read it before you continue to get angry at her for supposedly "ruining mythological creatures" when this book is quite original and creative and you should click on this paragraph to find out about it! (and this book is not Twilight)


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## nicman000 (Dec 17, 2009)

Pyrofyr said:
			
		

> And you can find all those shitty books at Barnes & Nobles.
> 
> The funny thing about books is that they've  been around for so long that it's not going to 'ruin books' to do this, like people are scared of in video games because shit like Halo leads to what will be around a decade of haphazardly coded shitty generic FPS games.



Well don't buy those games then. Yeah, Halo wasn't all that great but it got some things in cement, like the standard FPS control scheme for dual analog controllers and got quite a good thing going with console LAN gaming.


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## Pyrofyr (Dec 17, 2009)

KingdomBlade said:
			
		

> Why does everyone hate Stephenie Meyer when they haven't read all her books yet? There is a book, written by her, that nobody has heard of yet and it's an amazing book, albeit a bit tedious but very much worth it and I suggest you all read it before you continue to get angry at her for supposedly "ruining mythological creatures" when this book is quite original and creative and you should click on this paragraph to find out about it! (and this book is not Twilight)
> No.
> 
> This does not make you cool or edgy, and no it does not redeem her.
> ...


None of those are GOOD things. FPS players are the biggest fucking casuals of our generation. It's all the faggots who were out skating or playing sports while I was inside memorizing the fastest playthrough of Super Mario Bros 3, and going through every game that came out that month.

FPS and rhythm games are the cancer that is killing the gaming industry.
--
In fact if I could choose between Halo never coming out or Twilight, I'd choose Halo. Without Halo there probably would have never been this shitty spike in shitty FPS games.


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## iPikachu (Dec 18, 2009)

Pyrofyr said:
			
		

> --
> In fact if I could choose between Halo never coming out or Twilight, I'd choose Halo. Without Halo there probably would have never been this shitty spike in shitty FPS games.
> so why do you even care? then dont even touch the "shitty FPS games" then. its not like people are forcing you to play it.
> 
> ...


i believe you answered it yourself. C-A-S-U-A-L.


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## Hadrian (Dec 18, 2009)

Zombies is the next fad.

Seriously there are loads of zombie TV shows coming out next year as well as big studio movies too and most sound good unlike the crap vampire ones.  Only one I like is True Blood.


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## Jaems (Dec 18, 2009)

Mmm, teenage zombie romance novels.


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## Hadrian (Dec 18, 2009)




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## outgum (Dec 18, 2009)

Im keen for Zombies!
Reading about zombies are gooooood!
And plus, the movie section of life is lacking good zombie fils, let hope something good comes out of it


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## Hadrian (Dec 18, 2009)

outgum said:
			
		

> Im keen for Zombies!
> Reading about zombies are gooooood!
> And plus, the movie section of life is lacking good zombie fils, let hope something good comes out of it


Well Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is going to be a big film and there'll be a TV series version of The Walking Dead which is suppose to be true to the source material.  Loads of others too but I doubt the big studio zombie films will be much against the low budget ones despite Zombieland being perfect.


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## WildWon (Dec 18, 2009)

Hadrian said:
			
		

>



Wife® got that for her birthday this year. And its STILL a bitch to get through.

Check out others from that same line.
Such as:
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn & Zombie Jim
and
The War Of The Worlds Plus Blood Guts & Zombies

Yup. It was a great idea for the first one, and then it was blown up into a big pile of ass.

And not that GOOD pile of ass, either.

EDIT: Whoa whoa WHOA! A *TV SERIES* based upon The Walking Dead?! The comic? 

Holy geeze. I just checked it out and it's supposed to be coming to AMC.

I. Cannot. Wait.


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## Guild McCommunist (Dec 18, 2009)

Hadrian said:
			
		

> outgum said:
> 
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Zombieland got good reviews. Still, my #1 zombie film has to be Shaun of the Dead. I loves me some British humor. Who knew you guys could actually be funny 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




But yeah, I'm seeing Twilight knockoffs left and right. There's some crappy show called "Vampire Diaries" here in the States, and there's been like three non-Twilight vampire movies so far (something like "The Vampire's Apprentice", which I couldn't take seriously with the guy from Stepbrothers, that one with college kids fighting vampires, and Daybreakers, which doesn't look half bad).

Twilight, have you really turned American culture into nothing more than looking like an emo, but not really being an emo, and bad movies/shows about vampires?


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## Hadrian (Dec 18, 2009)

Not actually read the first to be honest.  I guess its a quick and easy way to get new stuff without paying royalties seeing the books are public domain.

*Posts merged*



			
				Guild McCommunist said:
			
		

> Zombieland got good reviews. Still, my #1 zombie film has to be Shaun of the Dead. I loves me some British humor. Who knew you guys could actually be funny


Actually I do prefer Shaun but it took a couple of viewings to realise how great it was.  I guess I was disappointed that it wasn't much like Spaced and once I got over that it got far better.


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## Veho (Dec 18, 2009)

Hadrian said:
			
		

> Well Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is going to be a big film


Starring Natalie Portman as Elizabeth Bennet, no less. 

But why stop at zombies? Sea monsters have that certain something every other paranormal romance so sorely lacks: _tentacles_





And finally, for the ultimate in fantasy teen romance: Cthulhu! A gripping tale of (_literally_) star-crossed lovers. 


...I'm on to something here... 

**grabs a typewriter* *


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## WildWon (Dec 18, 2009)

Guild McCommunist said:
			
		

> But yeah, I'm seeing Twilight knockoffs left and right. There's some crappy show called "Vampire Diaries" here in the States, and there's been like three non-Twilight vampire movies so far (something like "The Vampire's Apprentice", which I couldn't take seriously with the guy from Stepbrothers, that one with college kids fighting vampires, and Daybreakers, which doesn't look half bad).
> 
> Well, The Vampire Diaries is a book series from the 90's. I know. I read a few of them because a girl i liked read them. Well... maybe late 80's, but i didn't read them until the early 90's. And the show is shit. Tried to watch it with Wife®. We turned off the first episode w/in 3 minutes. Wife® is a huge Twilight fan, but hates most other CW style shows. (actually we hate ALL CW... except Supernatural. Cause it's badass.)
> 
> ...



I'm already beating you to the punch. I'm starting scripting of a movie remake:

The Passion Of The Christ and Cthulhu

It's the telling of a virgin mother that gives birth to a squid-like creature.

It may or may not be a 2g1c length film about a woman and a baby squid.


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## Hadrian (Dec 18, 2009)

Veho said:
			
		

> But why stop at zombies? Sea monsters have that certain something every other paranormal romance so sorely lacks: _tentacles_
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Know what you mean, watched it several times on TV.  Its always on and like Ghostbusters, I start watching while waiting for something else and I end up watching all of it.  Last time me and Mrsdrian just noticed Tyres from Spaced was a zombie!


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## Veho (Dec 18, 2009)

Hadrian said:
			
		

> 2012 cthulhu porn.
> So _that's_ how the world really ends.
> 
> 
> ...


2 girls 1 octopus?  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Anyway, I'm way ahead of you. I've already identified the key elements of the new fad and have already incorporated them into my vision of Cthulhu. In my interpretation, Cthulhu can walk around _even when stars aren't right_. Also, instead of glistening and scaly, his skin is matte, soft and warm. Unlike the other Great Old Ones, him and his adoptive family don't eat cultists any more, and eat anchovies instead. 

One day he notices a mysterious girl who's volunteering at the local Oceanarium. Their eyes meet across a crowded fish tank. 

Hilarity ensues.


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