# Russia has deployed trained military dolphins



## SG854 (Apr 29, 2022)

Tensions between Russia and Ukraine are high. Battle against Ukriane has gone longer then has Putin anticipated. The Russian Army is seen as a Joke around the World. Putin after empty threats of using Nuclear Weapons has now turned to the Ocean for aid. In a surprise alliance the Dolphins have joined Russia to bring Russian support in their assault against Ukraine.








> Russia has deployed trained military dolphins to protect a Black Sea naval base during its invasion of Ukraine, according to analysis of satellite images.




https://news.sky.com/story/russia-d...ding-to-analysis-of-satellite-images-12600667


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## KingVamp (Apr 29, 2022)

Had to reread that a few times.


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## rantex92 (Apr 29, 2022)

F**k you Dolphins *just jokin


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## Xzi (Apr 29, 2022)

When I first read the title I was like, "the NFL team?"  

If the dolphins are smart, and they typically are, they'll just swim away when they're sent on their "mission."


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## Veho (Apr 29, 2022)

Dolphins they stole from Ukraine during the Crimea invasion. 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2014/jul/06/ukraine-combat-dolphins-russia-give-back


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## Viri (Apr 29, 2022)

I'm surprised Dolphins and Aquaman haven't already declared war and invaded North Korea by now. They attacked the ocean so many times already....


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## AncientBoi (Apr 29, 2022)

Is this as opposed to the untrained Pricks they've been sending?


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## SG854 (Apr 29, 2022)

Remember not all Dolphins are evil. Only ones that sided with Putin.


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## AmandaRose (Apr 29, 2022)

They stole the idea from Karl Pilkington.


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## Taleweaver (May 1, 2022)

Dolphins? Okay... Now we're on red alert. Red alert 2,in fact...





Note: yes, i know they're they're supposed to be allied units. That means... Yuri mind control units have entered the field! You've heard it here first!

Also: highly trained means they're ready to pillage villages, rape women and take over Kiev... All while doing their signature laugh.


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## Taleweaver (May 1, 2022)

AncientBoi said:


> Is this as opposed to the untrained Pricks they've been sending?


Intelligence shows the chances of dolphins driving over their officers with a tank are at least 73% less likely.


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## SG854 (May 5, 2022)

Taleweaver said:


> Intelligence shows the chances of dolphins driving over their officers with a tank are at least 73% less likely.


Dolphins have 100% more intelligence then Putin


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## Dr_Faustus (May 6, 2022)

SG854 said:


> Dolphins have 100% more intelligence then Putin


Actually true, they know how to get the fuck out of a bad situation when they see it rather than stick around. That's why they will be the first to leave earth when they see the planet is about to get fucked hard.


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## Drak0rex (May 7, 2022)

Why is this news? The Navy's had seals for years!


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## DarkCoffe64 (May 7, 2022)

Same thing more or less


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