# Microsoft just killed somebody



## iTech (Jul 11, 2007)

Motherfucking analshit!
I just updated Windows Media Player using Windows Updater (It just wouldn't stop nagging, I just clicked something to stop it from meddling with my hamsterporn jerk session) and WTF? Turns out the copy of Windows XP I'm using, which was allready installed on my computer when I bought it on ebay (350 bucks for an Athlon X2 with a Geforce 7800 GTX and quality parts) was pirated, causing the updater to do nothing more than delete my old WMP and refuse to install the new one because the validation check failed. WTF?

I'm not even going to write an elaborate insulting flamethread out of spite; I'm just gonna murder someone. Truly, I will murder several people, including innocent children, because of this. Are you happy now Microsoft? Causing all those kids to die unimaginably horrifying deaths because you wanted to fuck with my computer? Do you think we don't know your "installation" program was designed to wipe off WMP on bootleg systems? Why else would you do the validation check AFTER the installation and not BEFORE as sane logic dictates?
Fuck you microsoft, I truly hope you, nazi-sponsoring IBM and Sony explode in a shockwave of debris caused by your congrated malevolence reaching critical mass.

I've allready killed some retarted couple that knocked on my door asking me for the fastest way to the cemetery, and violated several small animals I found living in my mattress, now I'm gonna club someone to death with a live black-market dolphin.

That is, unless I can someone fix this shit. I've got two original copies of WinXP, and would install them in a heartbeat were it not for the fact that I have too much shit installed (170+ Gig of program files) allready to give up. I don't trust that crappy "File transfer wizard" WinXP provides to safely preserve my program files eighter. Knowing microsoft, it's probably programmed to track down your most-opened files, and delete them, just for the hell of it.
Perhaps there is some kind of crack I can use to override the authenticity check? I googled and did find some confirmation that such a crack exists, but there's much ambiguity out there on wether or not MS fixed the latest crack or not.

Can anyone lighten the burden of my predicament by giving me some advice on solving this unfortunate situation?



UPDATE: _Crap. Turns out murder is illegal in my state. And that retarded couple survived somehow, presumably because they were retarded. Ah well, atleast the "animals" in my mattress are dead. Tonight, I won't have to sleep in the dishwasher!_


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 11, 2007)

wtf
thats not a real windows message
use ubuntu though

and wtf is hamster porn


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## looneyboy784 (Jul 11, 2007)

well there are many was to bypass the validation check.  One i know of involves a registry key you run before the validation check which basicly tell the computer itt has passed teh check. i will try to find it again but i dont know if it will work a i havent used xp in a while.


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## lagman (Jul 11, 2007)

Windows Media Player? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




Windows Update?


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## jimmy j (Jul 11, 2007)

You can get keygenerator (mskey or Windows XP Keygen) and then use RockXP4 to change your current windows serial number. It works 100% coz I did it myself and I downloaded WMP 11 and Windows Defender no problem.

Be careful with the keygens though, coz a lot of the downloads are infected and iot took me ages to find a clean download (Touché Microsoft!)


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 11, 2007)

i got a key ill sell you
i dont use windows so the key will be valid unless used.


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## Little (Jul 11, 2007)

It's strange that it asked for validation after removal. Mine asked me about validation before hand so I just keep telling it to go away. Not that I have any trouble verifying or anything, imma good girl, mmhmm, lalala.


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## looneyboy784 (Jul 11, 2007)

its kind of funny that passing validations with a fake copy of windows is eaiser on Vista than it is on XP


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## iTech (Jul 11, 2007)

Thanks for the tips guys!

Looneyboy here isn't that crazy afterall - he solved my problem!
It just so happens that he was just down at MS' Redmond HQ when he read this with a machinegun loaded with Depleted Uranium with the intent of gunning down Bill Gates for "using telekinesis to turn my Vista Windows transparant while I'm researching brainmedicines", and forced some tech guy at gunpoint to remotely activate my acount.
And now, he's dead.


At any rate, the problem is solved.


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## VmprHntrD (Jul 11, 2007)

I have a legit copy of XP corporate here and while it worked for a long time under their validation program a few months back it decided it was now a pirated version.  Thankfully I was trying to just install a service pack and not WMP because it checked first and wouldn't let me download the damn thing.  Sadly it seems to have flagged my registry or whatever so now I can't get updates to my machine so I'm pretty pissed over it.

SO yah, the automat with depleted uranium shells sounds fairly tempting right about now too now that you reminded me of that fact.


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## Sick Wario (Jul 12, 2007)

black market dolphin


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## Salamantis (Jul 12, 2007)

LOL @ BLACK MARKET DOLPHIN!

And that message made me laugh, tho I'm sure that it's fake. And WTF hamster pr0nxxx?

EDIT: In that screenshot, I see in a tab you googled "hamster pron free no credit card" wtf dude?


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## Legend (Jul 12, 2007)

OR we could just learn from this experience. Never trust Microsoft, or any of their products ever again. In fact, if you even get an inkling of trusting one of their products, slap yourself. With a tunafish.


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## antwill (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(salamence502 @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> And that message made me laugh, tho I'm sure that it's fake. And WTF hamster pr0nxxx?
> If you look close enough you can tell the text is faked.. as the background behind it is slightly grey and therefore does not match the background, although it still made me laugh good job iTech !
> 
> 
> ...


That also made me laugh... But, like you i thought 'wtf'


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## .TakaM (Jul 12, 2007)

Yeah, I really hate windows updates n shit.
so much so I never download them from microsoft anymore, they always do a whole lot of shit they don't tell you, it's much better downloading edited updates.

and I fucking hate windows media player 11 so god damn much, I edited all the tags on my MP3s, but if WMP11 even sees those MP3's it searches the internet for better tags and fuckin changes them without even asking me.


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## antwill (Jul 12, 2007)

What version of Windows are you using .TakaM? Because in Vista, my WMP11 doesnt edit the tags without telling me. Also where would one find those edited updates?


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## Bridgy84 (Jul 12, 2007)

That sir was one of the finest rants i have heard in a long long time. BRAVO!!!


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## linFox (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(.TakaM @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> and I fucking hate windows media player 11 so god damn much, I edited all the tags on my MP3s, but if WMP11 even sees those MP3's it searches the internet for better tags and fuckin changes them without even asking me.


The first time I installed WMP11 it did that to me. I was looking around my music folders and they started disappearing and renaming and I was thinking HOLY SHIT WTF.

In WMP, Check Tools->Options->Library->the bottom box. The first checkbox is controls the tag changing, second is filename, third is file position/folder.


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## phoood (Jul 12, 2007)

WMP can fuck off (though it is useful in a pinch).

One, you can turn off windows update completely or to an extent that it won't bother you (just remember to update at least).

Two, usually when the dialog box is open, choose custom install and un-check the ones you do not want installed (though it seems you did not do this as the popups were understandably annoying) which prevents it from showing up as an update, ever.


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## L_o_N_e_R (Jul 12, 2007)

ahahha

i have a crack that diables everything in windows(validation check, can get all updates, etc.)

and im not sharing 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




and come on..WMP? get winamp


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## deathfisaro (Jul 12, 2007)

Creative MediaSource Organizer FTW
I think my WMP is like 7.x unless I accidentally/or M$ intentionally updated it.


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## UncleChuckle (Jul 12, 2007)

And this is a big part of why, before I let any XP install anywhere near the net, I kill Windows Update. I'm happilly running SP1. "But... But... You're crazy... What about those bug fixes in SP2... You NEED SP2!"

The way I see it is this: If you bought a car, and the doors and wheels fell off when you left the dealership, would you trust that dealer when they said "Okay, honestly, it's all fixed now. Trust us!"

And as someone said, use Ubuntu. Story a week or two back of someone who did that managed to get validated as genuine Windows.

So far the only time this WGA crap has screwed me (and my XP is technically legit. I had to do a reinstall, but didn't want to use the recovery disk as the Norton install on said disk is botched leaving IE unable to open stuff from Microsoft's own website, so I used an old XP disk I had kicking around) was when I needed the .NET framework. But it took me 2 minutes to find it on another non-MS site.

Fuck Media Player... Videolan/VLC for video, Foobar or Musikcube for MP3's. Foobar includes a ripper, you just need LAME on your system.

Why anyone uses Media Player is beyond me.


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## TLSpartan (Jul 12, 2007)

Just update to Ubuntu. Its easy. I will even give you a link to make it easier Ubuntu


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## jimmy j (Jul 12, 2007)

Wow! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Ubuntu looks very nice indeed! I've been planning to format and reinstall XP, so I might use Ubuntu as a second OS.
My xp wi-fi drivers won't work, so maybe I can get some writing done without hopping online every 10 minutes


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## Salamantis (Jul 12, 2007)

I've tried Ubuntu before, it was an older version, and still pwnd windows (doesn't deserve a capital w). Since there are newer versions, they probably pwn even more. I'm happy with my Macintosh (and I'm getting Leopard for sure).


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## CockroachMan (Jul 12, 2007)

My firewall blocks Windows Update and Internet Explorer.. 

The funny thing is: I've never got a virus or a spyware since I did this


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## Smuff (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(Bridgy84 @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> That sir was one of the finest rants i have heard in a long long time. BRAVO!!!


Be sure to check out some of his other rants..... they are superb also


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## bollocks (Jul 12, 2007)

I've had a pirated version of XP for years, it's never failed a validation check. And I got it before MS started the whole Genuine Advantage thing, so it can't have been specifically patched to pass the checks. go validation! \o/


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## OSW (Jul 12, 2007)

lol. just the other day windows xp told me to reauthenicate my windows version and i was liek wtf? since i've don that at least twice before.

At least i don't run vista 0_0


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(The Last Spartan @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> Just update to Ubuntu. Its easy. I will even give you a link to make it easier Ubuntu



you sir just gained 3454238523423 respect points from me
although i constantly mention switching to linux and using the ubuntu flavor


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## JPH (Jul 12, 2007)

I spent two hundred dollars on a Zune, MS just killed me 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I'm getting an iPod nano...


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## dg10050 (Jul 12, 2007)

The funny thing is that Ubuntu actually passes the Windows Validation Check. I shit you not: http://youtube.com/watch?v=OfwC1XAy3Sc


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## Yugge (Jul 12, 2007)

I used to use ubuntu, Recently switched to debian because i found it more stable, but yeah, good shit


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(dg10050 @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> The funny thing is that Ubuntu actually passes the Windows Validation Check. I shit you not: http://youtube.com/watch?v=OfwC1XAy3Sc



lol high quality programming right there


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## Neko (Jul 12, 2007)

Do you know SPTD ?
Had to deinstall it if I wanted to update it.

: Windows needs to be activiated because of much changed hardware. 
I was like WTF ?
So.
I pressed Internet Activation and it told me :
You already have activated using Internet.
Please use Phone Activiation.
But then I decided to Register at Microsoft and retryed it :
And it worked.
Microsoft just wants to know where you live,  who you are, what you do and where you download ya porns. xD


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## VmprHntrD (Jul 12, 2007)

Curious, with ubuntu, can you run apps from other os's such as my crap I've paid for over the years for DOS/Windows9X->XP?

Or is it just like other OS's where it just has its own set of things, and you use those and trash the stuff you got?


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## chuckstudios (Jul 12, 2007)

Yeah, you can run Windows stuff in Ubuntu with WINE.


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## dg10050 (Jul 12, 2007)

Some of your may be interested in this. And no, it's not WINE. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i301/dg1.../Screenshot.png (Linked because of size.)


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 12, 2007)

if that isn't wine or a vm - what is it
also is it just some gui overlay or does it allow for windows program functionality?


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(Vampire Hunter D @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> Curious, with ubuntu, can you run apps from other os's such as my crap I've paid for over the years for DOS/Windows9X->XP?
> 
> Or is it just like other OS's where it just has its own set of things, and you use those and trash the stuff you got?



here check out this link. it's a list of what works with wine and to what degree.


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## dg10050 (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(pikachucrackpipe @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> if that isn't wine or a vm - what is it
> also is it just some gui overlay or does it allow for windows program functionality?


I never said it wasn't a VM 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 : http://www.venturecake.com/10-minutes-to-r...ubuntu-desktop/


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## HBK (Jul 12, 2007)

LOL, just use WinAmp, much better, faster, no lags.

Or use a crack.


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## pikachucrackpipe (Jul 12, 2007)

QUOTE(dg10050 @ Jul 12 2007 said:


> QUOTE(pikachucrackpipe @ Jul 12 2007 said:
> 
> 
> > if that isn't wine or a vm - what is it
> ...



wow thats a cleaver way to do it. 
i might just run a vm though

the only time i need to run windows is for turbotax and thats like once a year. well with revisions and all its more but you get the point.


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## deathfisaro (Jul 13, 2007)

Genuine Windows Advantage check is coded this way


```
if (exists(/*hacked serial in registry*/))
{
phail();
}
else
{
pass();
}
```

forgot to say check =P


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## iTech (Jul 13, 2007)

QUOTE(deathfisaro @ Jul 13 2007 said:


> Genuine Windows Advantage check is coded this way
> 
> 
> ```
> ...


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## iTech (Jul 13, 2007)

QUOTE said:
			
		

> Ubuntu is the cooliest!!!1!!µ



I'm mainly a Windows programmer (Windows washer on Sundays) so I don't have the luxury of running anything but plain vanilla Windows.
I tried a buttload of Linux distros for home use, and none of them worked. "WTF? How can an OS 'not work'?"
It just can, that's all you need to know. The only Linux LiveCD that actually booted up AND supported my Wifi card (after much exotic tweeking involving numerous terminal commands and reading verses from Anton Levey's "Satanic Operating System Bible" out loud while pointing my genitals in all four wind directions) was PCLinuxOS, and then it exploded.
Which is something I blame on unfinished Linux NVIDIA drivers that possibly set the monitor refresh-rate to 85 Ghz.

I tried Ubuntu and indeed it looked nice, but lemme ask you something - If an OS can't even support a 20-dollar Wifi card and therebye completely disallows for any internet connection that does not require the user to start drilling holes through their house just to download the casual Hamsterporn flic, how do you expect to win over the idiot "Ma! That computer done ate my audiocassette! Bring a fork will ya?" folk that run Windows but barely know WTF a computer does. ("I hear it can rip DVDs, that's very environmentaly friendly! Can it shred paper too? Lets try! .. Ooooh! That's what those loud fans are for! Sucking up the smoke that comes out of the drives when it recycles the paper!! Neat!")

It's like everytime ten guys come together and start a new distro, Microsoft uses the intelligence gathered from their spyware WGA application to learn of it, and sends some crazy-ass peruvian druglord hitman to them screaming "Silver or lead! Silver or lead!", which means; eighter you put extra effort in making the distro inferior to Windows in the eyes of the majority in exchange for a bribe, or El Presidente Billo Gattos cuts off your genitals and shoves them in the mouth of your decapitated head, and then picks it up and uses it on Halloween to scare children that were forced to watch Sleepy Hollow followed by a gay gagsex clip.

I just can't believe no distro can get everything right.
Ubuntu looked the best, but didn't support my wificard (even after using ndiswrapper), Turbolinux didn't even run, Slax was ugly yet flexible but didn't support my wifcard eighter, DSL just plain sucked and PCLinuxOS did support my WiFicard, looked nice, but refused to do anything usefull without having to install to the HD first (and I don't have a free partition big enough).

And lets not get me started on VLC. If you honestly believe VLC is a better media player than WMP, you probably suffer from disorganised schizophrenia. The fucking "graphical interface" is just two grey pixels stuck together horizontally!
All opensource software seems to be designed to be completely unsusable to anyone but S&M fanatics. You ever tried to use Blender? Who designed the interface? That Russian guy that invented Tetris? WTF is up with that? And Jahshaka (I had to check five times to see if I spelled to fucking name of the software right - They probably took "Marketing 0.101" in Highschool to come up with that. "Hey! Lets make the name of our product unpronounceable to anyone! That will help word-of-mouth!") is the same - I kidnapped a local quantum physicist because I figured he might be smart enough to figure out how use the program, and after many calculations on toiletpaper (we use rough stationary to wipe our asses at our home, because our asses itch from some disease or parasitic infection my mom brought back from the corner she works on), he concluded that the program was theoretically incapable of being used - it can only start, show a confusing interface, and shut down.
And The Gimp! Wtf? Floating windows? I was teaching my retarded baby sister to draw elementary shapes so she might get accepted at the kindergarten for the mentally retarded and be out of my hair for a few hours, and she accidentally double-clicked on a video of me violently raping the Roborovski hamster I told her "gently closed his beady eyes for the last time before his sleep" which I had on my desktop. Now she tells her friends (the bums that pay me money to punch her in the flabby gut) that I "sprinkled magic sausage water on Mr. Kiki's head". 

I'm telling you - it's a conspiracy! All opensource software has being engineered to be completely unusable by anyone besides the authors and S&M fetishists!


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## rashef (Jul 13, 2007)

@iTech - Did you try Mandriva 2007.1 (also known as spring ? ). They say it's linux for idiots and windows users that don't give a damn and configures most of the things automatically for you.


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