# How would you dispose of a body?



## The Pi (Feb 12, 2011)

Before anyone asks: no, I've not killed anyone.

Say you killed someone in rage in your own house. (not planned or anything) How would you get rid of the body?

My best method would be to put the body in the bath. 
Cut the main arteries (neck, thighs and shoulders yeah?)
Do CPR (to pump the blood)
Dilute the blood with bleach and pour into the river over time in 500ml bottles.
With the hair cut it off, put it in a small bag and put in a bin in town.
With the flesh, give to wild cats bit by bit. 
Crush the bones and sprinkle about the city.
All the time having the bathroom airtight. (obviously cleaning the room well afterward, re-tiling and re-painting if needed)

Again, I've not killed anyone.


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## Sausage Head (Feb 12, 2011)

i buried it on the garbage dump
it was 2 years ago and they burn their garbage so they wont find it anymore


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## Raika (Feb 12, 2011)

I would panic, and chuck it in a bin.

I am serious, I am not a good criminal.


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## The Catboy (Feb 12, 2011)




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## Foxi4 (Feb 12, 2011)

I'd synthesize a consciderable ammount of sulfuric acid, fill a bathtub with it and place the body there. The % of the liquid doesn't have to be really large to dissolve both bone and flesh. Then, just pull the plug. If any blood splatter occoured during the terrible act itself, I'd pour bleach and/or low % acid over it. Done.


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## Atmosphere (Feb 12, 2011)

This is how

It's a song FYI.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSYCh0NuBuY


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## The Pi (Feb 12, 2011)

Foxi4 said:
			
		

> I'd synthesize a consciderable ammount of sulfuric acid, fill a bathtub with it and place the body there. The % of the liquid doesn't have to be really large to dissolve both bone and flesh. Then, just pull the plug. If any blood splatter occoured during the terrible act itself, I'd pour bleach and/or low % acid over it. Done.


What if the drain gets clogged? surely it won't completely dissolve?

@Raika: Skills


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## nando (Feb 12, 2011)

put it in a plastic bag. drive to the nearest pig farm and feed it to the pigs.


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## L_o_N_e_R (Feb 12, 2011)

i'll tell woodhouse to go fetch a rug...


i hope someone got that >_>


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## godreborn (Feb 12, 2011)

I'd call the police and have them help me dispose of the body...they must know of a lot of hidden places off the beaten path where a body would never be found.


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## Blood Fetish (Feb 12, 2011)

I would put it back in the coffin.


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## emigre (Feb 12, 2011)

I'd cook it and feed it to my neighbours.


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## laurenz (Feb 12, 2011)

Seriously, OP needs professional help.


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## science (Feb 12, 2011)

To the OP. What if the cops come and find jars of blood and bags of bone in your place if you plan on doing it over time?


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## BloodyFlame (Feb 12, 2011)

science said:
			
		

> To the OP. What if the cops come and find jars of blood and bags of bone in your place if you plan on doing it over time?



If that happened to me, I'd say that it was sugar and fruit juice.


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## godreborn (Feb 12, 2011)

in reality, most people would probably panic and leave a lot of evidence behind no matter what they did.  only someone insane would get away with it as a person would have to be calm during the process of disposing the body.


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## The Pi (Feb 12, 2011)

laurenz said:
			
		

> Seriously, OP needs professional help.
> I think this is a good time to say....O RLY?
> 
> 
> QUOTE(science @ Feb 12 2011, 08:40 PM) To the OP. What if the cops come and find jars of blood and bags of bone in your place if you plan on doing it over time?


What reason would they have to come?


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## prowler (Feb 12, 2011)

With the exp gained from this death, I would beat the shit out of anyone that finds out.  Gaining more exp and being able to fight more experienced people I would be unbeatable. 

If I happen to die, I would restart from the save I made before killing the person I killed first.


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## BloodyFlame (Feb 12, 2011)

prwlr. said:
			
		

> With the exp gained from this death, I would beat the shit out of anyone that finds out.  Gaining more exp and being able to fight more experienced people I would be unbeatable.
> 
> If I happen to die, I would restart from the save I made before killing the person I killed first.



Let's say you were doing a low-level run. You are screwed.


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## Deleted_171835 (Feb 12, 2011)

The Pi said:
			
		

> science said:
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The guy has gone missing (since he's dead) and the cops have you as a suspect.


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## Snailface (Feb 12, 2011)

Call the guy on the right.


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## The Pi (Feb 12, 2011)

prwlr. said:
			
		

> With the exp gained from this death, I would beat the shit out of anyone that finds out.  Gaining more exp and being able to fight more experienced people I would be unbeatable.
> 
> If I happen to die, I would restart from the save I made before killing the person I killed first.
> Real life isn't that simple, unfortunately.
> ...


If they are over 16 they don't do shit for days (18 hours a day work should have my method done snappy)

Edit: proper thought out plans and pointing out errors in others plans is what I meant this topic for, not jokes (this isn't the EOF)
Edit2: fuck I sound like a psycho.


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## Foxi4 (Feb 12, 2011)

The Pi said:
			
		

> Foxi4 said:
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No cloggin. It would dissolve completely when given enough acid. The only problem is that I'd have to make sure if the pipes are metal or not, plastic pipes would heat up and melt.


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## iMasaru (Feb 12, 2011)

why not just cut the body into pieces, grind em in your grinder, drain it~


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## Blaze163 (Feb 12, 2011)

To be fair, from a scientific standpoint there's pretty much no way of disposing of a body and leaving no evidence. Back when I studied forensics I did a case study of a famous murder in which the criminal openly challenged the police to prove that he did it. He dissolved the body in acid in an old bath tub, believing that the complete obliteration of the body meant there was no evidence of a murder ever taking place, misunderstanding the legal term 'body of evidence'. Turns out that traces of DNA survived something as brutal as the acid bath, and they were able to varify that the murder had taken place. And as the criminal had flat out told them he did it, it wasn't much of a challenge to figure out who did it.

So any plans anyone comes up with here about flawlessly disposing of a body to leave no trace are flawed from the very beginning. The founding principle of modern forensic science is that every contact leaves a trace. Put simply, it doesn't matter how well planned a murder is, there's always going to be something that can be used to track you down.

Especially if the world starts taking my ideas seriously at any point. I think we should have a genetic database of everyone in our country. Newborn babies have a tiny drop of blood taken as soon as it proves no risk to the child, the DNA profile is stored on a huge computer of some kind, anyone coming into the country is required to provide either the details of their own genetic profile from their country of origin or provide a genetic sample. It wouldn't be a complete database until every single person in the world is accounted for in some way, but think about it. Once it's done, escaping from any crime you commit would be near impossible. Anything as small as a skin cell left behind at the scene would be enough to bring anyone to justice. It's not a perfect idea, it needs some work, but the framework's there, right?


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## Foxi4 (Feb 12, 2011)

Blaze163 said:
			
		

> To be fair, from a scientific standpoint there's pretty much no way of disposing of a body and leaving no evidence. Back when I studied forensics I did a case study of a famous murder in which the criminal openly challenged the police to prove that he did it. He dissolved the body in acid in an old bath tub, believing that the complete obliteration of the body meant there was no evidence of a murder ever taking place, misunderstanding the legal term 'body of evidence'. Turns out that traces of DNA survived something as brutal as the acid bath, and they were able to varify that the murder had taken place. And as the criminal had flat out told them he did it, it wasn't much of a challenge to figure out who did it.
> 
> So any plans anyone comes up with here about flawlessly disposing of a body to leave no trace are flawed from the very beginning. The founding principle of modern forensic science is that every contact leaves a trace. Put simply, it doesn't matter how well planned a murder is, there's always going to be something that can be used to track you down.
> 
> Especially if the world starts taking my ideas seriously at any point. I think we should have a genetic database of everyone in our country. Newborn babies have a tiny drop of blood taken as soon as it proves no risk to the child, the DNA profile is stored on a huge computer of some kind, anyone coming into the country is required to provide either the details of their own genetic profile from their country of origin or provide a genetic sample. It wouldn't be a complete database until every single person in the world is accounted for in some way, but think about it. Once it's done, escaping from any crime you commit would be near impossible. Anything as small as a skin cell left behind at the scene would be enough to bring anyone to justice. It's not a perfect idea, it needs some work, but the framework's there, right?



*sigh* If you really *want* to prove something, you will prove it in your own ways. Like it or not, the only thing it takes is careful planning. The police would never know if he hadn't inform them. He clearly was a mental, not a genious.


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## purplesludge (Feb 12, 2011)

Pig Farm


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## Devin (Feb 12, 2011)

Meat Grinder. That is all.


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## omgpwn666 (Feb 12, 2011)

No need for me to dispose of a body. I get some poison infested snakes, put on some gloves, then break the glass to a random house (so there is no connections), finally I will pour the snakes into the window then leave. It worked last time.


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## TrolleyDave (Feb 12, 2011)

There's no on real suggestion that could be given as disposal depends on method of killing, type of area that you're in (urban, countryside, are you near a large body of water or woodlands etc), where the person was killed and several other factors.  Violent death is harder to cover up than say suffocation as there's damage to the body.  Before thinking of body disposal you need to think of death.

edit : Misread the opening post.  If they were killed in a rage I'd say wrap em in a tarp.  Take them to a secluded area for removal of the hands and teeth.  Then dispose of the hands and teeth in seperate but widespread areas.  If there's a secluded woodlands then bury the body in a grave covered in something like lime (it doesn't dissolve the body quickly but does help speed it up).  Then pay some junkie to break into the house trash it and then torch it.


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## trumpet-205 (Feb 12, 2011)

I'll pay someone to cremate the body, done.


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## DeMoN (Feb 12, 2011)

Nobody here lives near an ocean?  If a body is dumped in the middle of an ocean, there's no way it will ever be found.


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## Mesiskope (Feb 12, 2011)

I prefer this way.
[youtube]u3qy4Zv4snI[/youtube]


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## CrimzonEyed (Feb 12, 2011)

1. Kill with poison.
2. cremated the body.
3. Put the remains in a glass jar.
4. Fill the jar with HF acid that even would dissolve the glass jar.
5. Spread the remains of whats left (if there even is something left) in the sea.


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## Ikki (Feb 12, 2011)

I'd kill it again, with fire.


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## Satangel (Feb 12, 2011)

What about the method we've seen countless times in Dexter? Seems pretty solid to me, but it takes a whole load of work to do it every time, all that plastic all over the place. 
And I doubt one hair or skin cell is not left behind, but if you do it in remote places, no one is going to find it.

My idea was to just drop it in an open grave on a graveyard and cover it thoroughly. Then the next day watch the funeral from a distance to actually see the real coffin being placed above it and being covered.

If they ever find the body, there won't be any way to trace it back to you, even if they find a skin cell, they can never trace it back to you if your not in a database. 
Oh yeah, before dumping the body, massacre the teeth and throw them all over the place (1 in a bin, 1 in a sewer, 1 in a forest, ....). Of course do all this in a place at least 1 hour away of where you live.


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## TheDarkSeed (Feb 12, 2011)

I'm lazy when it comes to things like this. -_-

Shallow grave or sewer...


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## GH0ST (Feb 12, 2011)

I would call the police ...

Weird topic.


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## Deleted_171835 (Feb 12, 2011)

GH0ST said:
			
		

> I would call the police ...


and get arrested.


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## GH0ST (Feb 12, 2011)

SoulSnatcher said:
			
		

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Not sure and at least with less criminal charges than OP ;-)


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## ThatDudeWithTheFood (Feb 13, 2011)

I'd put it in a Gym bag then take my heli out for a "spin" across oceans. SADLY my gym bag fell while helicoptering over the Atlantic.


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## elimist (Feb 13, 2011)

Foxi4 said:
			
		

> The Pi said:
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and metal pipes would turn into hydronium ions and  hydrogen gas...


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## signz (Feb 13, 2011)

Cut, slash and crush it into little pieces and flush those down the toilet.


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## nando (Feb 13, 2011)

why dispose of it when there are so many fun things you can do with it?


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## KingdomBlade (Feb 13, 2011)

Churn it into a juice and sell it on Ebay.


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## Sterling (Feb 13, 2011)

For a serious answer, if I killed someone in a fit of rage, I would have no chance of a premeditated disposal plan. If I whipped a gun out and shot him, I would have to make sure to do whatever quickly. Also, the place has an effect on what you do. Scenario: I make a move on a guy's ex girlfriend, he knocks her out, and since I like this woman, I beat the living shit out of the guy and knock him out. Keep in mind, I'm behind the restaurant because I was making out with her. Still mad, I see a glass bottle in the garbage and beat him and cut him until there is no way that I could have reconcile. He's starting to gush, so I grab that garbage can and use it to maximum effect. Then I clean up the small pool of blood and clean up the glass with my jacket. Starting to think, I then place a note in the girl's pocket that tells her, he beat her, and then knocked me out as well. I know where he went and tell her I'd tell the restaurant owner what happened and ask him to call the police and stay with her while I make a run to the pharmacy and grab a few medications for pain and smelling salts. After taking the unconscious woman inside, I come back out and grab the garbage can and take it to his car. Thinking on my feet, I slash my tires to blame it on the bastard, and provide an excuse to say that I had to walk and that's why I took so long.  So, as I drive, I figure out where this guy lives and take him to the place, and then I decide to make it look like an accident. So I bring the body in and extract it. Making sure to place it somewhere the blood won't seep. I find a candle Which I light, and then I knock it over onto something combustible (I wipe it clean before hand). As I walk out, I wipe the door knob clean. I then take the trash bag and trash can with me (I dispose of it later). I also removed the smoke detector battery and put into a draw (After gingerly eliminating all of my presence). As I make sure the house is burning and the body has been consumed by flames, I call the fire department and tell them that I was driving by and saw smoke. Tell them the address and leave. I left the car in the garage where it will burn too. I call an acquaintance (That no one knows that I am friends with) to pick me up at the the Pharmacy where I was now headed. After getting the drugs, I then get him to drop me off half a mile from the restaurant. Where I walk back too, and then I start spinning the lies from there. Making sure to keep my story straight.

Eh, you can never tell what sort of situation you're gonna be in. Where you might have done it. How much sanity you'd have and such.


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## ineap09 (Feb 13, 2011)

Argentum Vir said:
			
		

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I see opportunities for witnesses to see your strange behavior and report it to the police. Will there be no one who sees you slash your tires? Will no one see you carry the body in his house? Will no one see you leave a now burning house?


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## ProtoKun7 (Feb 13, 2011)

The Pi said:
			
		

> Before anyone asks: no, I've not killed anyone.
> [...]
> Again, I've not killed anyone.


Suuuure you haven't. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





Anyway, shoot it into the sun? Black hole?
Or even just into space unprotected and it would probably explode from the pressure differential.


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## Demonbart (Feb 13, 2011)

Burn it. Burn it with fire.


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## SmokeFox (Feb 13, 2011)

Well, the easy way to do it is to cut the human body in a way that they can fit 7 bags of trash, or trow it in a deep lake.


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## Saken (Feb 13, 2011)

I would probably eat it.
Delicious...


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## Sterling (Feb 13, 2011)

ineap09 said:
			
		

> Argentum Vir said:
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Therein lies the problem with killing people in fits of rage. You have no predefined plan, witnesses are plentiful, and your sanity will be on edge from then on. Guilt knows no bounds. This is the problem with speculation. We aren't all cold blooded killers, not all of us have predefined plans to follow (If you do, there may be something wrong with you), and if your like me, the guilt will destroy you more than that jail cell and butt [censored] will. At a moments notice, most of us would just lose it and throw it into a dumpster and walk away.


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## Depravo (Feb 13, 2011)

I wouldn't dispose of it. I'd keep it and treasure it forever.


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## SmokeFox (Feb 13, 2011)

Depravo said:
			
		

> I wouldn't dispose of it. I'd keep it and treasure it forever.


troll;


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## Satangel (Feb 13, 2011)

Argentum Vir said:
			
		

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So true, if you've just killed somebody in a blind rage, you'll be panicking like hell and either just leave the body there, or carry it to your car and dump it in some kind of water. 
Both methods are very likely to get caught.


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## FAST6191 (Feb 13, 2011)

Even if it was a rage it depends where I am, how much time I reasonably have to get things done and who I have killed- flashy forensics cost a fortune after all and most places tend to only go in for it to help assure a conviction and the like rather than as "due diligence". Chances are I would have to go the hidden killer rather than everybody is afraid to testify route.

Somewhere poor and I would skimp on it but somewhere rich and I go nuclear as it were- nobody cares about a murder (or indeed missing persons for a nobody) when things are not going well outside (few explosions and/or massive flood of high grade synthetic narcotics- clandestine chemistry is not that difficult). Misdirection is also quite useful- if their credit cards are active for a few weeks after going missing or something better (if they can bring dead rappers back as robots I reckon I can do something too)....... I doubt I would be good enough, especially for an unplanned killing, but if I could fit someone up for it then that would be an option.

As for disposal acid and/or thermite are summoned easily enough and there is almost always a dodgy guy running a cremation service/one I can misappropriate. Similarly after you have perhaps mopped up (assuming a bloody kill) what you can then spray some other evidence around. Amplifying evidence/tracking down something I might have missed (I can barely clean up a nosebleed as it is happening let alone some nice blood spray or a fight as it is still fresh- oh to be a sociopath) is considerably easier than filtering evidence after all.

Alibi maybe- I find myself "implausibly" far away shortly after the events then that is good. If I can explain my presence somewhere that is better.

Re call the police to help: alas my life as international criminal has thus far not taken off and paying off the filth is an expensive game.

Guilt- if I have had to actually clench a fist then chances are the now dead party was in the wrong or it was otherwise them or me. In the event of it being a medical condition or something I reckon I could live with that.

After that I would hope I did well enough to at least get the police to tip their hand at some point allowing me to vanish* if I even cared enough to try and stick around the place I did the deed in.

*this one could be interesting as I am not well geared for it.

@Blaze163 you really think a far reaching DNA database is a good idea? Even leaving aside the impracticality of the affair (small suspect pools being better for evidence purposes and what have you) I can not bring myself to trust the police and government let alone some of the more interesting debates that might arise (I find the idea of familial testing abhorrent although I guess if it was that far reaching it would not be as necessary).


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## TLSS_N (Feb 14, 2011)

If I had to get rid of a body???

hmm, I guess I would have to list the steps below.


Spoiler: steps




1.place a piece of card board onto the bottom of your shoes securing it so that there are no prints.
2.Place a generous amount of glue on both of your hands, so that your finger prints and/or palm prints would not leave any evidence behind.
3. put on a pair of old clothes.
4.put a pair of elastic gloves on, not leather gloves as they leave prints.
5. carefully place the body in a bag, carry it to the bath tub and remove it from said container.
6. fill the bathtub about 1/6th of the way, slit both wrists to drain as much blood as possible. that way, the body is lighter to carry.
7. once the body is devoid of blood, burn the skin around where the wrists where slit, dry off the clothing with a hair drier.
8.clean up the bathtub, move the body to a room with a chair, cover it with flammable liquid, and proceed to pour said liquid around the hose for later.
9. take two candles, a tool box and a generous amount of sting into the next room, place the toolbox above a glass jar filled with said liquid, surrounded by said liquid.
10. tie the string to the toolbox, place the other candle on top of the toolbox and light it up now that it is floating in mid air, place the other candle just far enough from the base of the string so that the flame cannot catch the string on fire, but that the heat elevating from the wick, will over time weaken the string, the tension from the weight of the toolbox will cause the string to snap.
11. call a friend ask them if they would like to go out and do something, upon leaving, light the candle.
12. once in the car, and on the road. throw the gloves out the window, at a red light, rub the glue off of your hands out the window.
13. once you have met up with your friend go to the bathroom and wash the rest of the glue off of your hands. Start to head to wherever you where going, and then claim you forgot your cash, and that on the way to his/her house, your car started acting up. ask them to follow you home in case the car dies.
14. once you arrive at your place of residence, you discover that the hose is on fire, call the police.
15. claim that when you had left, the person wasn't at your residence, that he must have came in and committed  suicide.



you have an alibi, your prints aren't anywhere on the victim, and any evidence has been destroyed.


Many thanks to gosho ayomata for the ideas!


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## Guild McCommunist (Feb 14, 2011)

1. Chop the dude up.
2. Put his parts in plastic bags (must be thick enough for no leakage/deterioration!)
3. Go onto your boat (A Slice of Life) and dump them offshore from Miami.
4. Lock Doakes in a cage so he doesn't tell the cops on you.
5. Eventually have your psycho ex-girlfriend blow up Doakes in a massive explosion.

Pretty simple.


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## Infinite Zero (Feb 15, 2011)

I'm not that strong so I would try to find a way how to bring it to the river. XD


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## Paka (Feb 16, 2011)

This came up in forensics courses I took in college, lol. Best way might be, if you can do it undetected, is to bury it as deep, far away from the original scene in the middle of nowhere. Burning and water disposal tends to be ineffective, and chopping it up is one of the worst things you can do since it leaves marks as evidence that can be linked to the tools. Most of the searches will be in the area usually unless they have a lead, and dogs can sniff out buried bodies, or places where dead bodies have been (so you want to do it quickly as you can, before they start leaking decomp fluids). There is some luck involved with any method though.


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