# How do you respond to telemarketers?



## nutella (Feb 9, 2010)

Just wondering because I get so many calls from telemarketers despite being placed on the do not call list. Today, I got a persistent little shit, so I did my typical favorite. In summary form, it goes a little bit like this (you may have heard it before, because its pretty classic).

Me: Hello.
Telemarketer: Hi. Would you like to subscribe to this magazine? This magazine... (and then he blabs on for like 2 minutes)

Me: Excuse me, I'm a little busy right now. Can I have your number?
Telemarketer: Sure. (Then he gives me a number, and I'm like, shit, this kinda backfired)

Me: Okay... Is that your number?
Telemarketer: Yes, its the company's number.

Me: Oh, I meant like your PERSONAL number.
Telemarketer: I'm sorry I'm not obliged to give that information.

Me: Why not?
Telemarketer: I don't give strangers my number. 

Me: What's the big deal.
Telemarketer: I don't want strangers calling me at home.

Me: See what it feels like... douchebag.

End call...


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## dirty_harry (Feb 9, 2010)

Tell them to give you a second, but never return.

Me: Hello

T: blah blah blah... pause

Me: Yeah can you give me a sec?

T: Sure...

Then you never return. That is the most demoralizing of all rejections for telemarketers. It's like the king insult. Try it.


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## Destructobot (Feb 9, 2010)

I just hang up. Being a telemarketer has to suck enough, I don't need to waste my time making it even worse.


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## DKAngel (Feb 9, 2010)

when they ring work and ask for the manager i say "what manager this is a public phone box you have just called"


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## zeromac (Feb 9, 2010)

I got a call from a telemarketer once 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




I did what i call the "Reversal"
I tried to sell him something it went like this:

Tele: Hello, would you be interested in-
Me: Hi, how would you be interested in the broomsweeper 3000, only $200 with this special offe-
*Hung up*


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## BoxShot (Feb 9, 2010)

I say no or yes to mean that I mean no to everything then hang up..


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## Sanoblue (Feb 9, 2010)

Me: Hello.
Telemarketer:Hi I'm calling from.... bunch of bull shit...

Me: That's all well and good but i have a question for you.
Telemarketer: Sure. Whats your question?

Me: What Color is your underwear?
Telemarketer: (this is the part where they either hang up, if they happen to actually say a color i continue further)

Me: oh thats so hot... (make sex noises)
Telemarketer: CLICK


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## Kalisiin (Feb 9, 2010)

I act all interested...and ask the guy to hang on while I go get my credit card.

Then, I start the stopwatch and see how long the soul-less vulture will wait without me returning - how long he will wait for me to go get mycredit card.

The current record is 8 minutes, 23 seconds.

During that 8 minutes and 23 seconds...that's a bunch of other people that the telemarketer is not bothering.

If everyone would do this...then telemarketers would have less time to bother people.


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## Hatsu (Feb 9, 2010)

Kalisiin said:
			
		

> I act all interested...and ask the guy to hang on while I go get my credit card.
> 
> Then, I start the stopwatch and see how long the soul-less vulture will wait without me returning - how long he will wait for me to go get mycredit card.
> 
> ...


I agree.

A classic one from me:

Telemarketer: Hi (blabs on about bullshit product)
Me: Fuck you.


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## syko5150 (Feb 9, 2010)

If its a number i dont know i just ignore it if its important they leave a message so no telemarketers bother me =P


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## The Catboy (Feb 9, 2010)

I mess with them.
If it's a human I often claim that I am Zuul and only Zuul makes the designs.
Or I just say yes to everything they say.
If it's a recording, I just hangup. Recordings are not much fun to mess with.


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## rockstar99 (Feb 9, 2010)

T:says shit
Me:What have you done with John hes dead and the last number calling him was you!!Ill arrest you
T: 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Me:Im inspector Dick and ive began tracking you down
T:hangs up

only when its a human


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## Hadrian (Feb 9, 2010)

I try to sell them something.


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## Hatsu (Feb 9, 2010)

Hadrian said:
			
		

> I try to sell them something.


We wish that would work.


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## elixirdream (Feb 9, 2010)

they usually catch me at the wrong time

i am having a meeting
i am driving
i am busy, maybe you can try to reach me in another hour or  two


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## iFish (Feb 9, 2010)

my dad pays every month or something to be on a list that they are not allowed to call 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 but when they do call i usally act like im selling something swell


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## elixirdream (Feb 9, 2010)

ifish said:
			
		

> my dad pays every month or something to be on a list that they are not allowed to call
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interesting, i do blame those companies that sell our data's to these telemarketers

sometimes, i think is the bank who are selling our private data
how in the world would they know you own what type of credit card...


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## Kalisiin (Feb 9, 2010)

elixirdream said:
			
		

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Easy.  Anyone can pull up a credit report on another person "for a legitimate business purpose" - and the credit bureaus often play fast and loose with what is...and is not...a legitimate business purpose.  Often, the requester does not even have to provide the information as to what the report is being used/requested FOR.

Once that report is in my hands, I can tell you what kinds of credit cards you have, and even the account numbers.  I probably know who you work for, and your social security number (if you live in the United States)  I can also skiptrace with your known creditors for other information about you...including your unlisted telephone number!

Seriously.  Any of you...if I had a copy of your credit report in my hand...even with your name blacked out...I bet I could come back, within 1/2 hour with your name, your Social Security Number, your employer's name, your address, your date of birth, your unlisted telephone number, information on whether you own/rent your current residence - and the account numbers of every credit account you have, plus your checking/savings account numbers, too, if you have those.

And you thought you were safe?  Ha.


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## Elritha (Feb 9, 2010)

I'm dull and just tell them I'm not interested, before they blab on and on and waste my time.

Thankfully they have stopped calling since I requested my number be excluded from whatever list/database they use.


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## Rayder (Feb 9, 2010)

We let the answering machine screen all our calls.

Our phone message:

Telemarketers can HANG UP NOW!  Everyone else please leave a message.


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## Danny600kill (Feb 9, 2010)

I always try to sell them something back, '' You want to invest in some new double glazing '' anyone


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## House Spider (Feb 9, 2010)

I got one yesterday. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I just ignored him but I forgot to hang up so he must of been talking while nobody was there.


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## Hop2089 (Feb 9, 2010)

I say random words in Japanese or Mandarin, they can't sell anything properly if the receiver of your call isn't speaking any English.


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## Satangel (Feb 9, 2010)

dirty_harry said:
			
		

> Tell them to give you a second, but never return.
> 
> Me: Hello
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True, I always do this when they call during dinner.
Stupid people


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## spotanjo3 (Feb 9, 2010)

I'm lame and politely let them know I'm not interested. Then I said... Oh yeah, please dont call me again or I will call the police. Bye. That's simple.


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## Depravo (Feb 9, 2010)

I usually hang up without a word but sometimes I fart around with them. I have been known to make silly noises or simply scream down the phone. I once pretended to start crying like a kid then hung up.


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## prowler (Feb 9, 2010)

I don't get telemarketing but we get TONS of people at the door.

I just stand there until they go away.
My mum; if its a religion group, she tells them to fuck off
If its a company, she tells them we don't want their bullshit.


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## spotanjo3 (Feb 9, 2010)

deanxxczx said:
			
		

> My mum; if its a religion group, she tells them to fuck off
> If its a company, she tells them we don't want their bullshit.



Are you serious ? I think it's rude, man.


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## prowler (Feb 9, 2010)

RockmanForte said:
			
		

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Yes I am serious.
I don't think its rude at all, what I think is rude that these people are showing up at your doorstep uninvited. For all they know we could be going through some serious problems, but do they care? Not really, they just want another number added to their list.

I once got followed by a Christian because I told them I didn't believe in God. He followed me until I got home and then had the cheek to knock on my door until I answered... which was followed by a half an hour lecture.
Also got followed by a salesman too.


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## Forstride (Feb 9, 2010)

deanxxczx said:
			
		

> I once got followed by a Christian because I told them I didn't believe in God. He followed me until I got home and then had the cheek to knock on my door until I answered... which was followed by a half an hour lecture.
> Also got followed by a salesman too.


EDIT:  I'm just going to delete this stuff.  I feel as though it might start a flame war.


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## Issac (Feb 9, 2010)

My dad fucks with them a lot. 

Them: "Hi we're calling from xyz inc. and want to know if..."
Dad, interupting: "I'm sorry, I don't have time for this call since I'm fucking with your mother right now"


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## alidsl (Feb 9, 2010)

I just tell them to hang on while I get my Dad (I pretend to be my dad) and see how many different people I can get through before they hang up


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## Demonbart (Feb 9, 2010)

Telemarketer: Hello, we're from we-gon-take-yo-money.inc and....
Me: Hello, Dutch electricity here. We eard you haven't paid your bills in four years!

That's what I'd do, my parents usually just politely ttell them to have a nice big cup of shut the fuck up.


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## referencer (Feb 9, 2010)

I just hang up unless I can think of anything funny on the spot. If it's a girl I'll usually try to chat them up and see how long I can keep it going.


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## Bent (Feb 9, 2010)

My wife used to be a telemarketer.  The things some people would do or say were awful, and the job was so stressful she had health problems from it.  She quit and never regretted it.  So I am polite, tell them no thank you and hang up.


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## Demonbart (Feb 9, 2010)

Bent said:
			
		

> My wife used to be a telemarketer.  The things some people would do or say were awful, and the job was so stressful she had health problems from it.  She quit and never regretted it.  So I am polite, tell them no thank you and hang up.


That's why when a friend of mine's mother didn't know if she should keep the job she has now (at a supermarket) or become a telemarketer, I told her she should keep her current job if she wanted to be sane
for the rest of her life.


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## Satangel (Feb 9, 2010)

Issac said:
			
		

> My dad fucks with them a lot.
> 
> Them: "Hi we're calling from xyz inc. and want to know if..."
> Dad, interupting: "I'm sorry, I don't have time for this call since I'm fucking with your mother right now"



EPIC


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## King Zargo (Feb 9, 2010)

I just say "Could you hold on for a second." After saying that I put the phone down and go to another room.


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## CasperH (Feb 9, 2010)

I bet half of the people are lying here


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## Kalisiin (Feb 9, 2010)

RockmanForte said:
			
		

> deanxxczx said:
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I think it's rude for THEM...to show up, unannounced, uninvited, and unwanted...trying to sell something people don't want...or trying to ram their religion down your throat!


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## Kalisiin (Feb 9, 2010)

Bent said:
			
		

> My wife used to be a telemarketer.  The things some people would do or say were awful, and the job was so stressful she had health problems from it.  She quit and never regretted it.  So I am polite, tell them no thank you and hang up.




THAT is why I do it the way I do.  I used to be a telemarketer, too.   It's the absolute bottom of the job heap - I'd rather die than do that job ever again.  MY way...gives the person on the other end of the phone a much-deserved, and probably much-needed break - I'm surprised my record isn't higher than just 8 minutes 23 seconds.

By the way, I also did market-research surveys...you know, opinion polling on the phone.  THAT isn't quite nearly as bad as telemarketing...in fact, I even sometimes will take the survey from someone calling.  If I happen to be interested enough in the subject matter, I'll take it.  Provided they then do not keep me for more than, say, ten minutes.  After that, you're playing with fire, because I'll hang up if your poll is too damned long.


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## Banger (Feb 9, 2010)

just tell them the person they are calling for is dead, they say sorry and don't call back


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## BORTZ (Feb 9, 2010)

Banger said:
			
		

> just tell them the person they are calling for is dead, they say sorry and don't call back


ive heard of people getting in serious trouble for that. I used to have a book with a whole slew of responses. they were awesome.


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## Issac (Feb 9, 2010)

Satangel said:
			
		

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Epic indeed! He always does something like that. I wish I had the balls to do the same, but I'm always polite. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I can't stand it though, since they never take no for an answer.

-ring-
me: "tim?"
them: "Hi timmy"
me: "..hi"
them: "what's up? are you having a nice evening? something good to eat, drink? some company?"
me: ".. yeah, sure"
them: "I'm calling from xyz inc. and want to know if you want to get this xzx stuff"
me: "uh, no I'm sorry, i'm not interested"
them: ".. Why not?!"
me: "cause I don't need the xzx stuff"
them: "have you thought about the benefits of it + adding reason 1 2 and 3"
me: "yes, and i'm perfectly happy without it"
them: "may I ask why you don't want it?" (This in a very rude tone, like "Why the fuck? are you a moron or what?")
me: "because i'm not interested in that"
them: "who isn't interested in this?!?! It will save you money!"
me: "no it won't since I dont use that enough" (for example some cell phone subscription)
them: "eh, why not?"
me: "Please, I'm not interested okay?"
them: "why aren't you intersted?"
me: "I've had enough"
them: "ok -click-"

that's what usually happens here when they call.... therefore deserve to be treated rude!


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## Man18 (Feb 9, 2010)

I say hell yea call again, whats your information so I can give you credit if I buy and say whoops Im on the no call list im going to call in your name so you will get your fine HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

most of the time I dont pick it up.


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## Banger (Feb 9, 2010)

BortzANATOR said:
			
		

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I never have and I dont see how


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## Guild McCommunist (Feb 9, 2010)

The 1980's called, they want their problems back.

Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.

But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.


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## iFish (Feb 9, 2010)

Guild McCommunist said:
			
		

> The 1980's called, they want their problems back.
> 
> Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.
> 
> But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.



i dont have caller id! Dont assum everybody has caller id guild...


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## ProtoKun7 (Feb 9, 2010)

TDWP FTW said:
			
		

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Spoiler



So not going to use the "it must've been a Mormon" crack then?


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## Jakob95 (Feb 9, 2010)

I press the number 2 on my phone.


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## Issac (Feb 9, 2010)

Guild McCommunist said:
			
		

> The 1980's called, they want their problems back.
> 
> Seriously, it's called caller ID, people. I don't pick up numbers of anybody I don't know unless I'm expecting someone to call me from a new number. I've never picked up on a telemarketer.
> 
> But I'd probably just hang up immediately or say "Never call me again" and then hang up.



So if your friend run out of money on his cellphone, and ask one of his friends to borrow theirs, you won't answer? If the hospital calls (with hidden caller ID) to re book your time to an earlier date because of double booking, you won't pick up? If someone new in your life calls you (and you don't know their number) you won't answer? If the police finds your kid dead in a bush somewhere with your telephone number on a tag on their clothes, you won't pick up?


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## Danny Tanner (Feb 10, 2010)

I used to work as a telemarketer for about two years. The best part was that lots of people thought they had some witty retort, but they said the SAME JOKES as everyone else. Seriously, none of them were original or funny.

I used to be a dick to them though. Sometimes we'd have to call a timezone between 8-10 pm (which is legally when you are allowed to in the US) and I'd be pretty giddy when I woke someone up. We used to see who could wake the most people up during these late ones. One time a lady was really really rude, so I wrote down her number and called her on my own time on my phone like 3-4 times just to bug her LOL.

So yeah, you probably have good reason to hate telemarketers.


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## bazamuffin (Feb 10, 2010)

I just start pressing random numbers (holding each digit for a second or two) in between their pitch


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## Vulpes Abnocto (Feb 10, 2010)

Lots of my friends have worked for call-centers and telemarketing companies.
I get to hear about all the shit they've been put through, so most times I'll interrupt their schpiel just as kindly as possible, tell them I'm not interested in whatever they're selling, and wish them a pleasant day. 

The cool ones will leave it at that, and go on to the next number on their list. 
The assholes will keep pitching their product.  

If they begin hard-selling me, _then_ I start fucking with them. 

My favorite game is "You sound cute. What are you wearing?"
followed closely by "I no can be speak of very good the English. (with a perfect American accent)" 
If you can tell that they're being forced to be assholish by their company (as many of them are) then you can use "My Hovercraft is full of Eels"

If they get rude, give them an earful of language that could make a sailor blush.


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## Gore (Feb 10, 2010)

CasperH said:
			
		

> I bet half of the people are lying here


For fucking real.

First post is from George Carlin I think.
Then tons of posts from 13 and 14-year-olds with lies about things they think would be funny to say to them.

If I ever got a telemarketer I'd just hang up most likely.


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## Guild McCommunist (Feb 10, 2010)

Issac said:
			
		

> Guild McCommunist said:
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Christ, I'm 16, do you think ANYONE calls me? I don't schedule doctor's appointments and my friends don't have any money to run out of, nor would they borrow a friends cell phone to call me. You're taking this way too seriously, Christ be damned. 

Also, when the police call, I'm pretty sure I'd know if it's the fucking police. I'm sure my call ID would say "THE POLICE" or something along those lines. And all the other issues are irrelevant or not important to me.

TBH, I don't even know if I get telemarketer calls. We're on the Do Not Call list in the US so a lot of junk doesn't go through.


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## soulfire (Feb 10, 2010)

i worked at that kinda stuff cslling people

and i am glad that i haven't got what you guys do to them 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




mostly where nice people but the job still sucks


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## iFish (Feb 10, 2010)

Guild McCommunist said:
			
		

> TBH, I don't even know if I get telemarketer calls. We're on the Do Not Call list in the US so a lot of junk doesn't go through.



we are on that list aswell here here in canada.. well my house is


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## Uncle FEFL (Feb 10, 2010)

"No, I'm not 18. No, my mom's not home. OK, bye."

That's before I had caller ID, anyway. Or BEFORE I looked at who's calling. Now I do what Guild does; I ignore.


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## PettingZoo (Feb 10, 2010)

I usually just the the phone idle or say no thank you and hang up


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## Genowing (Feb 10, 2010)

I kept getting these calls from a car window repair company, like every week during dinner. So finaly after hanging up on them I finaly listened to their spheal and promptly told them I wasn't interested and that I had already sold my soul to the devil and they hung up and never called again. Plus I don't even own a car.


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## DeMoN (Feb 10, 2010)

I registered for DoNotCall a while back: https://www.donotcall.gov
Don't usually receive telemarketers except for services I already am using (AT&T, insurance, etc.)  
I just hang up, though a good way to get them not to call again is to say you're under 18.


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## NeSchn (Feb 11, 2010)

Telemarketer: Hello? Is Mr. blahblahblah available?
Me: MIKE JONES!!
Telemarketer: Who?
Me: MIKE JONES!! (hang up)


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## computarman (Feb 11, 2010)

I tell them no soliciting allowed on my phone. Some telemaketers try to say they are not selling anything for instance if they are wanting a donation. I politely explain that this too is also a solicitation for a donation and thus still considered soliciting. I will argue the point for a bit if they want to argue. I pay for the phone and I really don't think telemarketing should even be allowed. I refuse to take any offers over the phone because I consider it irritating. Also I hear of a lot of deceptive telemarketing offers over the phone. Like the one where you have supposedly won a prize but in order to get your prize the business wants your credit card number. I simply tell them to send me my prize if I won something and that I won't pay in order to win something. I am respectful and honest but you also have to be firm. Nothing immature about being respectful and honest. The thing is I rarely even answer the phone unless I'm expecting a call and screen calls with my answering machine. There really is a lot of telemarketing going on but I usually keep my ringer turned off and very few telemarketers will leave a message luckily.


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## juggernaut911 (Feb 11, 2010)

I fart in the phone. Be mature guys.


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## nitrostemp (Feb 11, 2010)

i often just listen to what they offer and just say "mmm" and just when they are transferring me to their superior it hang up rofl


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## GoldenTalesGeek (Feb 11, 2010)

My older brother had a clever way of dealing with them when I was a kid. It kinda went like this:

Telemarketer: Hello, can I interest you in-
My brother: Is this the hospital?!
Telemarketer: No, I'm just-
My brother: No?! Get the f*** off of the phone, then! My kid brother just got hit by a truck! I need to call the hospital as soon as possible! If he dies, I'm holding you personally responsible!
Telemarketer: *hangs up*


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## Salax (Feb 11, 2010)

I sat stuff completely ridiculous, like "IS THIS JOE'S PIZZARIA? I'D LIKE A BACON BURGER."


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## user0002 (Feb 11, 2010)

I just tell them I'm not interested, usually I'm polite but sometimes when I'm in the middle of something important I tell them to piss off.


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## MuppetInvasion (Feb 11, 2010)

I act interested, be all like _Really that's interesting!_ then ask them an off question like if they sell a version for dogs. When they say no, then I tell them that that's a shame and hang up.

T: Hello, i am calling for xyz, would you be interested in xyz?
M: Why yes, can you tell me more about it?
T: xyz offers a variety of options including xyz and xyz.
M: Can you tell me a bit more about xyz?
T: Certainly

And so on...

T: Are you considering purchasing xyz?
M: Mmmmm maybe, is there an xyz available for my cat?
T: Unfortunatley we do not sell versions for cats.
M: Oh well, thats a shame because i need one for my cat. *Hangup*

Was funnier when it happened with my friends


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## Kalisiin (Feb 11, 2010)

juggernaut911 said:
			
		

> I fart in the phone. Be mature guys.


Eeeeew.  You do realize that...after you fart into the mouthpiece...you then, later on, have to put your lips near that same mouthpiece you just farted on?


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## saxamo (Feb 11, 2010)

I don't understand why you guys are assholes. All it takes is a "No, I'm not interested, please take me off your list." 

If you want to be even more proactive register your number with the do not call list. 

Telemarketers are just trying to do their jobs, they don't need extra grief.


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## MuppetInvasion (Feb 12, 2010)

True, true, except their job is f*kin annoying!


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## cobleman (Feb 12, 2010)

Well i use to give the phone to my 4 year old son and once he had fiished with them they would hang up within a few minutes lol now he's 6 and talks there ears off about Bakugan brawlers. He doesnt get the chance anymore because im now on the no call list and only get 1 call every 6 months and they hangup after i mention the no call list


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## mrfatso (Feb 12, 2010)

haiz and i thought someone would have sang rick astley's never gona give you up to them or at least play a recording of that


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## Kalisiin (Feb 12, 2010)

saxamo said:
			
		

> I don't understand why you guys are assholes. All it takes is a "No, I'm not interested, please take me off your list."
> 
> If you want to be even more proactive register your number with the do not call list.
> 
> Telemarketers are just trying to do their jobs, they don't need extra grief.



No, it doesn't...those assholes won't take NO for an answer - that's why they are annoying, and why I'm an asshole towards them.

I recently got a call about a competing auto club.  I'm already in AAA.  And quite happy with AAA.

I try to explain this to them. here's the basic transcript...

Me: No thank you, I'm quite happy with AAA.

Them: But our motor club is better than AAA.

Me: How so?  I work overnights dispatching tow trucks for a living, and most tow companies I know won't even take your company's P.O.'s!!

Them: that's because we will take people to anywhere they want to go, as far as they want to go.

Me: I get 100 miles with AAA, that's more than enough to get me anywhere I want to be.

Them: But what if you were more than 100 miles away?

Me: If that was the case, I'd have taken a plane and rented a car, and I'd call the rental company.

Them: But, still, we're better than AAA.

Me: How so?  EVERYONE takes AAA.  Almost no one will take your club.  You leave people sitting out on the road two hours and more (and this I know to be entirely true, due to experience on my job, folks!!)

Them: No, nobody has to wait that long.

Me: Oh, yeah, that's right, if you don't want to wait until you find someone who will take your P.O. you can always pay up-front for the tow and wait for an aeon for your company to reimburse them...that isn't the point of an auto club...the point is that you're not supposed to have to pay anything up-front, or out-of-pocket at all.

Them: but we're better than AAA.

Me: You haven't convinced me.  You keep SAYING you're "better" than AAA, yet you haven't told me one thing about your service that is even as good as AAA, let alone better!  Why do you people INSIST on keeping on calling me?  How many times already have you called in the past and I keep telling you NO...and give the same reasons??  Why can't you take NO for an answer and take me off your goddamn list already?

Them: We don't have to take you off our list.

Me: I'm on the do not call list, you know.

Them: Yes, but, since we are affiliated with a company that you already do business with, that list does not apply to us in your case.

Me: does this mean you are refusing to take me off your list, and you are going to keep bothering the hell out of me, even though I have already told you I am not interested now, nor will I ever be interested?

Them: We can call you as much as we want to.

Me: [Hangs up in frustration]

NOW ASK AGAIN WHY WE ARE SUCH ASSHOLES TOWARDS TELEMARKETERS!!!

And yes, not everyone has Caller ID.  We don't even have it as an option, because my area is so rural!!


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## mrfatso (Feb 12, 2010)

and also one thing to add to that caller id issue, sometimes my classmates changed their number but they might have forgotten to tell me that they had changed their number, so when they called me, i usually asked who the hell are they and they tell me who they are and we apologize to each other and have a nice laugh about it.


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## arecus2000 (Feb 12, 2010)

I wuld shout WRONG NUMBER!! and end call.


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## Opium (Feb 12, 2010)

I used to be a telemarketer. Worst six months of work ever. 

I try to be polite with telemarketers because I know what it's like. I generally say, 'thank you but I'm not interested. Would you be able to take my name off your list so that I'm not called again. Thank you and good luck with your quota."


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## Kalisiin (Feb 12, 2010)

Opium said:
			
		

> I used to be a telemarketer. Worst six months of work ever.
> 
> I try to be polite with telemarketers because I know what it's like. I generally say, 'thank you but I'm not interested. Would you be able to take my name off your list so that I'm not called again. Thank you and good luck with your quota."



I'd be polite, too - IF they would take NO for an answer, and IF they would honor my request for them to not call anymore - ESPECIALLY during my sleeping hours (I work third shift)

But they won't...so I don't.

I agree with you - I also once did telemarketing, and it was the worst job ever.  I'd rather clean up horse shit all day in a stable than do telemarketing ever again.  I know what it's like.  BUT...damn it to hell, I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED!!  ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN I'M TRYING TO SLEEP...and my sleeping hours are generally in the early afternoon on up to late evening.

AND THAT'S WHEN THOSE ASSHOLES CALL MOST OFTEN.

I mean, what's up with that?  Can't they just take NO for an answer and go bug someone the hell ELSE?  how many freaking times do they have to call and bug you...and how many times do you have to tell them NO...before they finally get the point and buzz the fuck off for good?

I wouldn't want to call anyone who doesn't want to hear from me that strongly...I'd rather get numbers only of people who might actually buy something!


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## playallday (Feb 13, 2010)

ifish said:
			
		

> Guild McCommunist said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah same here, but someone always calls at least once a day. 

I remember once some place somehow got my cell phone number and was calling me 3-4 times a day eating up my minutes.  Told them if they didn't stop calling I'd get a lawyer.


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## Twiffles (Feb 13, 2010)

Opium put it well, since I do it also:


			
				Opium said:
			
		

> I try to be polite with telemarketers because I know what it's like. I generally say, 'thank you but I'm not interested. Would you be able to take my name off your list so that I'm not called again. Thank you and good luck with your quota."



Otherwise I just don't answer. Seldom are the ringers for the phones in my house to be on in the first place.


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## Deleted User (Feb 13, 2010)

I never get them. However, someone should try this:


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## NoSmokingBandit (Feb 13, 2010)

Im on the "no call list" (which i put in quotes because they still call), so i usually find some way to screw with them. If they are going to waste my time im going to waste theirs.


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## FAST6191 (Feb 13, 2010)

Me calling some help place- even if they are the biggest bunch of morons going I will stay my tongue, I am still proud of the time I crashed a guys machine when he send me a remote access app (I had four screens at highest res+ crappy UK upload speeds made even worse as that was one of the things I was calling about- despite being told several times I did not use IE, it applied to all machines and operating systems including live CDs he proceeded to launch it and clear my cache and cookies).
Usually calling such a place is a token effort along the lines of "yes I called your people, send me a new one".

Those calling me, I agree it is a horrible job so I avoid making it personal. I seem to recall the margins on these places are about as tight as internet gambling sites so I figure if I can do my part to drag profitability down. I have also long been affiliated with elderly care types and similar trades and I have a very long list of horror stories from that side of things.

Most people in this house have several names (in addition to aliases) so you can usually weed out the good ones right away (the bad ones will use the long form/formal name or an alias).

Surveys- same story as street level surveys with wrong info and bad info (12 people in the house, 14 kids sort of thing) along with counter intuitive answers (I will take the holiday but keep the money) and after that it is usually either:

legal- Ambulance chasing is not something that sits with me so given that I can spin a story for injury claims all day long and usually back it with a fair level of medical knowledge (injury claims are so similar to all the various things I and others can fall off of or otherwise be hurt from), such calls tend to end with "I am not sure I want to go forward/why would I want to go forward.

gas and electricity people- I use gas bottles and fuel cells apparently.

credit companies- one of two types I find, the first is a fishing expedition so I am a boss of a company or otherwise a highly paid type (the big fish approach) and the second is a more targeted one in which case "I only just got this number but your offer intrigues me" or I am the second person in the household.... return to "big fish" approach. A nice side effect of the big fish approach is they will usually have to get a supervisor which is a great point to ditch a call.

mobile phone companies- I lack a mobile phone and could not be happier about the situation, alas I know so little about mobile phones I can not spin stories so I will usually hang up early here.

If I get especially bored I will put them on "hold" (play some music from my computer, I have not broken that 8 minutes record mentioned earlier though but I guess whatever rock/metal album I have open is not good "hold" music.
Other times I will hang up halfway through a sentence (they usually call back) and pass the phone to one of the others in the house for "I have only just got in and I am the only one here, I have no idea who you were talking to" or if nobody is around I might disguise my voice or just carry on with normal voice and flat denial.

Alas I seem to have done this for so long I tend to only get machines calling me, most are set up well now but I still get a few that will tie up lines if you leave them without pressing buttons (a hangover from rotary/pulse telephones).

Door to door types- rare around here and as I usually wear headphones sitting upstairs and can see the front door from the front room if not I do not interact with them.

Street level- they never seem to bother me and I do not feel bad about not taking their leaflets, should they block I sidestep or remove them from my path.


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## Talaria (Feb 13, 2010)

On "No call list", only get about 1 telemarketer call every 6 months. Brilliant =)


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## Deleted_171835 (Feb 13, 2010)

Telemarketers are horrible. They call my dang house every day advertising random shit. The people who used to live in the place I moved in had credit problems. Now, these telemarketers advertising ways to cure 'my supposed debt' call every day.

I also get mailed stuff from Visa addressed to some random person.


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## mrfatso (Mar 30, 2010)

dammit, hate to bump this thread, but i was reading a comic stripe today when i saw a particular stripe and remember this thread.

http://www.gocomics.com/bigtop/2005/02/27/

curse the inabilty to post dynamic pics


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## elixirdream (Mar 30, 2010)

they usually catch me at the wrong time of the hour
i just say.. am busy 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 call me later


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## mrfatso (Mar 30, 2010)

i wish i can get hit by a telemarketer so i can test that stripe out and see if it really works


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## ByteMunch (Mar 30, 2010)

My dad trys to keep them talking for ages... He had someone on for over an hour once, and actually got a woman to come to brighton for a date... lol.


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## Am0s (Mar 30, 2010)

prolly been said already

just say yes to every question they ask you till they hang up


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