QUOTE said:
How the fuck do you make a game about Rudolph?! I thought that game about ice cream was stupid, but seriously....Rudolph?! wacko.gif
Same way they make 4 fishing games for the wii, 7 bowling games, Arcade Shooter
or
Ninjabread Man: This one now takes the top spot for the simple reason that it was the one most cited as being omitted last time. So, in the name of research I actually went and rented it - someone owes me $5.00! I normally relish in things that are so bad that they’re good - you know, a hip to be square kind of bad. This game pathetically could not even give me that - had I sensed that the developers tried and failed I might have derived a little enjoyment from it - but this was clearly a hollow exercise from day one. No dialogue, no challenge, no fun - c’mon, couldn’t you have ’spiced’ him up a bit?! Ninjabread Man is indeed bad, but not in any way that might make you want to play it. It’s just bad.
Anubis II: Did I miss the first incarnation of this? More importantly, if so - who thought it would be a good idea to make a second one? This may well be the suckiest suck that ever suckily sucked - and that is saying something! I for one do not want my mummy.
Chicken Shoot: Well, this is hardly surprising. Hey, I’m a Duck Hunt fan myself - and this good sir is no duck hunt. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this might be popular among the ’short schoolbus’ set. If you shelled out the cash for this rotten egg - well, the yolks on you.
Haneru no Tobira Wii: Girigirissu: Well, you can put this stinker squarely in the WTF file. When I think of all the awesome games that never made in to North America from the ‘Land of the Rising Sun’. Well, it used to make me sad. That is, until we got the opposite problem - now games that never should been made period are being sent over to our shores and this is ‘exhibit A’. This ‘collection’ is a measly three mini-games based on a strange Japanese TV show - actually, did I need to say strange? I mean - I had already said Japanese. Regardless, the game play is terrible, repetitive and mind-boggling -Â so unless you have a fetish for bugs with people faces then stay clear. Just check out the screenshot below which shows the amazing ‘blow-out-candle’ minigame in action! . Remember, this is shown on Japanese television with real live actors. Got a mental image? Super - now try to eat something …. I dare you.
ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: I put this in CAPS only because the makers of this POS did the same - I assume because it makes it more ‘X-TREME’. Those who thought the movie sucked will quickly realize it was oscar-worthy compared with this nausea-inspiring ‘game’. Look up shovelware in the dictionary and the same picture that appears below will be shown. The music sucks, the gameplay non-existent (read: random Wiimote shaking) and the whole game is just a bad joke - the punchline being that there’s no ending. You see, after finishing the game startled gamers will find themselves right back inexplicably at the main menu. Remorseful buyers will quickly be yelling “AAALLLLLVVIIIN!”
JUMPER: See above. Keywords: crap, shovelware, buyer’s remorse. Then subtract Alvin and add what’s-his-face. The umm, Jumper guy — okay, so I never saw the movie or played the game, but I heard things. These things were not good - no, in fact — bad. Very bad things. This is already at your local Blockbuster bin for $4.99 - count on it. Next!
Balls of Fury: I keep looking at my previous article and trying to figure how this game never made the cut. Did I really forget or is this manure that fresh? This had a chance to be the only video game in history that was actually better than the movie and they blew it! In fact, were it not for the appearance of Christopher Walken this could easily be dubbed the worst game of all time - and I’m including ET for the Atari 2600 here people. The controls don’t work, the replays are terrible and well, honestly I cannot go on - I’m getting too mad. Stay away with a fury - this one sucks balls!
Pool Party: Umm, yeah - this one is almost as good as the Wii Play (which also stinks) mini-game version. I’m sorry, you want how much? I’m going to take a pass. This my friends is NO party. Dear Southpeak games, The only way to make the cover models nerdier would be with glasses and pocket-protectors. What’s that? You weren’t trying to make them nerdy? Who - my bad. Hmm, maybe just a plain white label with “VIDEO GAME’ is generic black writing next time might be an idea. Maybe add the cocky looking guy in the background back on actually - I like the cut of his jib.
Rapala Tournament Fishing: A truly regrettable game - I mean fishing and Wii seems like a natural fit. Clearly, a rush to get this game out can be the the only excuse for this game’s shoddy controls and terrible graphics. Look for this one in the bargain bin next to Jumper - maybe buy one get one free or something. Of course, two of crap is still crap. Anyways, see it there? Great –Â now quietly but quickly back away. In a word, Crapala.
Acme Arsenal: You have to know that the Looney Tunes guys likely meant that a lot of parents shelled out cash for this one. (Do kids nowadays even know Bugs?) One would have hoped that this would have been a good game — one would have been sorely disappointed.
GT Pro Series: Rarely does a screen shot say it all - but in this case you can in fact judge a book by that cover. Universally despised for its poor graphics and subpar gameplay, this one makes any critics shortlist. If you’re a fan of racing games - you’d be better served playing Pole Position on your 2600. In fact, with the possible exception of Excite truck - stay the hell away from all racing games for the Wii. There are pretty bad, this one just happens to be the worst-of-the-bad. Congratulations I guess?
Far Cry Vengeance: If any of my selections are going to generate any controversy and feedback, I suppose by default this is going to have to be it. Sadly, there was initially some excitement generated by pre-release hype about this game. However, this hype was quickly and violently quashed when gamers actually got their hands on this crapfest. I’ll admit that this game amazingly does appear to have a handful of fans, but it is worth noting that Far Cry Vengeance can boast of having one of the worst scores of any Wii game to date (well Anubis II is close). That fact alone says it all.
