I've been thinking a lot and really in depth lately. I tend to think more than the average 'Joe'. I have a lot in my mind that I conflict with on a daily basis. Just to tell you all, I am not (currently) suicidal. But I have done a lot of examining of 'life' in my own head (thank you LSD). I try to think of what it means, why am I here, and why are YOU here. What does this all amount to. What does it really mean? Why is there really 'life'? Where I live with now is that I am 'alive' now, but at any moment I could die from any tragic situation. Anyone can instantly die. And when you die, everything that you personally feel and know is instantly gone from all existence. You dissapear and become nothing. You live your life. You have feelings and a conscienceness, but when you die it is all gone forever. Everything that you are is gone. I will not bring up any ideas of religion in this thread because I personally feel it is all bogus. But, besides that, Why are you alive TODAY. Why were you not born into a world of neanderthals or super human beings? Why are YOU alive today and not tomorrow? I have fought this in my own head for a long time trying to understand it all. I question if the reality that I feel is really just a product of my own imagination. I don't know what to think of this all. I am real. I am alive right now, but why? I am a person, but why? When did my life really get created when there was millions of years of neanderthals suffering in the cold, but I am alive NOW. Why? Why am I alive now? Is it true that we become reincarnated (I doubt it)? Why do I feel alive right now, but before my life I did not feel anything because I was not here? How does this life really work? What happens when you die? Everyone dies.... or does anyone really die? Is this reality just a product of my own imagination? Is this truly my own sanity/insanity? No one can honestly answer it without me feeling like my imagination is just giving me what I might want to hear. I'm stuck. I want to see what else there really is. Am I fucking crazy? Am I the God of my own world? Do I really exist? Do I honestly live in a reality? Is anyone who answers me just what my own mind wants to hear? WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE??? WHY?????? I can't answer my own questions. I'm fighting to see if this is really real, but it wont matter when I am gone anyways. What do I do? I feel like I am either crazy or it is all really what I think it is...which is nothing that matters.