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Cranesbill

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Lately it's been hitting me on how different I used to be back then when I was in other social media sites. It all goes well, sometimes it lasts a few years until a mistake happens that was out of my control and there I go abandoning it, leaving behind what was once my hard work, my passion, my pureness, and the people and friends I used to love. It's been happening so much with so many sites I have come and go that now everything feels numb. I love it here, but I can't deny the fear remains that one day the cycle happens again and might ruin another group of friends I wanna call family, but why keep calling that if any day, a downfall might happen. It's not easy going back to some of those sites with an apology, I wish it were simple, but life ain't like that sometimes. Someone last year was right about something, I might have attachment issues, blaming myself that I could've been better and found a way that kept everything that made me happy. And just like that, a few months later, an incident happen where I just had to abandon everything once again and create another identity, being alone again in another new environment. I know I can't be on social media forever, but I wish for now on I don't have to have a bitter taste in my mouth and more guilt building up every time I make the same sacrifice. The only site where I finally had a good end was TikTok 3 years ago, but even then my account got hacked so I had to make the best of it of how I could end. If only I had one more opportunity to fix all my mistakes and finally become a free man.
 

Sicklyboy

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The way I read it, that's what we call "growing up" or "maturing". It happens constantly. Your adolescence into your teens. Your teens into your 20s. Your 20s into your 30s. And while that's as far as I can attest to so far, I imagine 30s into 40s, 40s into 50s, and so on and so forth, will have tons of growth and maturing and what have you, constantly.

The way I conducted myself online back in my 20s, hell, the way I conducted myself in person back then even, calling it "embarrassing" would be overwhelmingly gracious. There's a lot of behavior and beliefs and all kinds of things that were all attributable to myself that I look back on with abject disgust and embarrassment. Now that I'm in my 30s, I look back and am glad I don't act that way anymore. Yes, some people and some communities have been left behind. In my case, almost always for the better now that I Have the hindsight on it. But hell lol I was a literal child when I joined my first online community, the Gameshark forums, WAAAAAY back in the day. Good god, I would never even dream of going back to that place were it still around today. A little later than that I joined a Halo PC clan back in my teens, and while that is defunct these days too, again, I look back on those days with embarrassment and cringe.

If you can look back on days past and don't like what you see, then - and I mean this as politely as possible - stop acting that way.

You can't change yesterday, but you can always use it as a learning opportunity for tomorrow. Upward and onward.
 

Cranesbill

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The way I read it, that's what we call "growing up" or "maturing". It happens constantly. Your adolescence into your teens. Your teens into your 20s. Your 20s into your 30s. And while that's as far as I can attest to so far, I imagine 30s into 40s, 40s into 50s, and so on and so forth, will have tons of growth and maturing and what have you, constantly.

The way I conducted myself online back in my 20s, hell, the way I conducted myself in person back then even, calling it "embarrassing" would be overwhelmingly gracious. There's a lot of behavior and beliefs and all kinds of things that were all attributable to myself that I look back on with abject disgust and embarrassment. Now that I'm in my 30s, I look back and am glad I don't act that way anymore. Yes, some people and some communities have been left behind. In my case, almost always for the better now that I Have the hindsight on it. But hell lol I was a literal child when I joined my first online community, the Gameshark forums, WAAAAAY back in the day. Good god, I would never even dream of going back to that place were it still around today. A little later than that I joined a Halo PC clan back in my teens, and while that is defunct these days too, again, I look back on those days with embarrassment and cringe.

If you can look back on days past and don't like what you see, then - and I mean this as politely as possible - stop acting that way.

You can't change yesterday, but you can always use it as a learning opportunity for tomorrow. Upward and onward.
That meant a lot, thank you. Especially that last line, I always tells myself that, “Nothing can change the past, but anything can change the future,” and it does help with how I’ll progress in the future. Only thing I still find upsetting is that . . . Is that it? Make a dick move and abandon so much friends like that 🫰 and try to do better? Those were amazing people I met in many platforms. Instagram, Level Palace, Snapchat , Pixilart, just pretend they meant nothing at all and let it be? I still carry hope that they’re doing okay, even if they most likely hate me now. At least that message set my mind in the right place now. Cool piece of history you gave me too, I feel better now
 

Sicklyboy

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Only thing I still find upsetting is that . . . Is that it? Make a dick move and abandon so much friends like that 🫰 and try to do better?

It can be, sometimes yes, sometimes no, but doesn't always have to be, either

I can say from what I've experienced as someone who's been in online communities since the late-90s, and also from having been a part of GBAtemp for so long and what I've seen back as a normal member when I initially joined, and as a moderator since back whenever that happened-

I was gonna type a whole long thing out about this and that but it was getting pointlessly long in the tooth to just make the point that even if someone is in the wrong, it takes a big person to come back some day and apologize for their conduct in the past and own up to it and how they intend to conduct themselves in the future.

There's a lot of respect and grace and forgiveness that can be earned with just a honest "hey, my bad. I'm sorry bout that", and I've seen that very concept play out positively in person personally, as well as here on this site.
 

Cranesbill

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It can be, sometimes yes, sometimes no, but doesn't always have to be, either

I can say from what I've experienced as someone who's been in online communities since the late-90s, and also from having been a part of GBAtemp for so long and what I've seen back as a normal member when I initially joined, and as a moderator since back whenever that happened-

I was gonna type a whole long thing out about this and that but it was getting pointlessly long in the tooth to just make the point that even if someone is in the wrong, it takes a big person to come back some day and apologize for their conduct in the past and own up to it and how they intend to conduct themselves in the future.

There's a lot of respect and grace and forgiveness that can be earned with just a honest "hey, my bad. I'm sorry bout that", and I've seen that very concept play out positively in person personally, as well as here on this site.
Nah nah I get it, it’s like 1 A.M for me here lol. And yes, you’re right, you do what you gotta do to own up for everything you’ve done. If only the people I’m apologizing to can understand such a simple concept of forgiveness. The kids at my previous site were really flawed, I mean I love them, but damn there be at least 1 drama every week and the truth behind some of the users were disturbing. P3dos, harassment, manipulation, it was all wildfire the more people joined. I was there early on, being somewhat of a mentor, teaching the young ones the path of righteousness and avoiding the mistakes I made. It’s kinda funny now being here as now I’m sorta like the student and you guys are the mentors. I like the change, I gotta admit I don’t know much about me and that I need lessons to learn too.
 

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