Lately it's been hitting me on how different I used to be back then when I was in other social media sites. It all goes well, sometimes it lasts a few years until a mistake happens that was out of my control and there I go abandoning it, leaving behind what was once my hard work, my passion, my pureness, and the people and friends I used to love. It's been happening so much with so many sites I have come and go that now everything feels numb. I love it here, but I can't deny the fear remains that one day the cycle happens again and might ruin another group of friends I wanna call family, but why keep calling that if any day, a downfall might happen. It's not easy going back to some of those sites with an apology, I wish it were simple, but life ain't like that sometimes. Someone last year was right about something, I might have attachment issues, blaming myself that I could've been better and found a way that kept everything that made me happy. And just like that, a few months later, an incident happen where I just had to abandon everything once again and create another identity, being alone again in another new environment. I know I can't be on social media forever, but I wish for now on I don't have to have a bitter taste in my mouth and more guilt building up every time I make the same sacrifice. The only site where I finally had a good end was TikTok 3 years ago, but even then my account got hacked so I had to make the best of it of how I could end. If only I had one more opportunity to fix all my mistakes and finally become a free man.
and try to do better? Those were amazing people I met in many platforms. Instagram, Level Palace, Snapchat , Pixilart, just pretend they meant nothing at all and let it be? I still carry hope that they’re doing okay, even if they most likely hate me now. At least that message set my mind in the right place now. Cool piece of history you gave me too, I feel better now
