I've regaled this tale in real time to the visitors of the shoutbox, but I decided just now that maybe others would want to hear this as well. I have a friend who has an old Windows XP machine. Here are some choice things I've heard about it: "It's a top of the line gaming machine!" It hasn't been top of the line anything since 2007. "This computer's worked great for me for as long as I've had it." It's had hardware issues for years. "It plays all of the games that exist." That's lying from a standpoint of console exclusives. "Oh, I didn't need that." Said when I found he had removed the "useless" RAM (I fixed it, don't worry). Now we've got this covered, I present to you a new issue he's having: he wants to play the PC version of Doom 2016 on this old as balls XP machine. I told him the facts, I tried to placate him with the original Doom (which is supposedly not a Doom game - apparently if it doesn't look like Doom 3 it's not Doom), but nothing's getting through. He won't upgrade to anything better, and I think he believes that with some software tricks he can get the game running at full speed. It's an absolute nightmare trying to get him to understand requirements. He didn't understand any of the analogies I tried to facilitate understanding. "It's like trying to make a gallon of soup all at once, but the one pot you have isn't big enough." His response: "Doom ain't soup or pots, dummy." "It's like trying to park a monster truck in a spot made for bicycles, without any of the truck outside of the spot." His response: "That makes no sense. Why would someone be parking a monster truck at a bike rack?" "It's like trying to fit an entire inflated football in your mouth without any of the football poking out." His response: "I'm no contortionist." "Running Doom on your computer is like trying to run a literal billion Chrome tabs without your computer freezing." His response: "But Chrome isn't Doom. Chrome is different." "Computer requirements are like money. You can't get that thing from that store if you don't have enough money." His response: "I already paid for Doom, though." "It's like air in a balloon. If you put too much, it pops." His response: "Balloons and Doom have nothing to do with each other, so I don't get why you're telling me the obvious." He vowed to pay some poor sap way too much to fix the game to run it on his PC. The tech he was connected with agreed with my judgement, so my friend stopped trying to get help from that tech. He vowed to call a different tech that "knew what he was doing." I don't know if he did. Earlier this morning, I found out something bad. He started believing that his OS was what was making his computer incompatible with the game, so he updated to Windows 10. The poor computer has only 2GB RAM and is chugging along so slowly my friend has stated that Windows 10 came with a virus (he would rather blame Microsoft for a virus that doesn't exist than actually figure out his hardware has been the problem). Will keep you guys posted. It's an ongoing thing.