Story time with jumpman17


He's a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action!
Former Staff
Apr 11, 2003
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Digging through my harddrive, I found this buried in a folder deep in the bowels of junk. I wrote this back in high school. I remember we had to make a shoe from clay in pottery class for some reason, and for an even odder reason, we had to write a one page story about it. I found the story assignment stupid and tried my best to write the most annoyingly nauseating story I could. However, in the end, my teacher liked it so much that he read it out loud to the class. Mission failed

QUOTE said:
Floppy The Shoe

Floppy’s origins were of humble beginnings. He was born is a small, quaint little village in the middle of nowhere. He was made from the finest of leathers and the strongest of threads. All the other company’s shoes were jealous of how strong Floppy held up from all the fine materials given to the design of him. So they started to plan a most devious plan.

“We have to do something about this Floppy character. Everybody wants to wear him and not us. He’s taking all of our customers!” said the boss shoe talking into a microphone.

“Yeah!” shouted the large audience of shoe thugs.

“So here’s the plan!” yelled the boss shoe in a leader like voice.

The boss shoe went on for hours and hours about a long and complicated plan that involved five quarters, three pickles, a CD player, and a large sack of potatoes. No one liked this plan and they all thought it would never work.

“Why don’t we just get rid of Floppy, boss?” said a smaller shoe in a quiet voice.

Everyone looked up, knowing that the boss didn’t like to be contradicted. The audience sat and waited as the boss stared long and hard at the smaller shoe that was now sweating, realizing what he had just done.

“That’s a brilliant idea!” boomed the boss shoe into the microphone.

“Yeah, and you wanted to use potatoes, how stupid was that,” said the shoe who recommended the idea.

The smaller shoe gave a leathery gulp as he realized what he had done.

“Security!” yelled the boss shoe with fire in his eyelets. “Get this punk shoe out of my face!”

The smaller shoe was grabbed by two big thug shoes. The shoe knew that the boss had just sentenced his death. He was so scared that he couldn’t even speak. He was tongue-tied.

The two thug shoes took him for a ride out to the old abandoned river where they tied him up by his shoelaces and tossed him in the river. He was never seen again. The thugs drove back and informed the boss that the smaller shoe would never bug him again. The boss was very happy.

“Now that that is over, we can continue with Operation 'Get Rid Of Floppy The Shoe That We All Highly Dislike And Want To Get Rid Of With This Plan', or GROFTSTWAHDAWTGROWTP for short,” said the boss.

All the minion shoes set out to perform Operation GROFTSTWAHDAWTGROWTP. The shoes had set up all the necessary preparations that needed to be done. The trap was set, the plan was ready. All that was missing was the poor unsuspecting sole of Floppy.

“There he is!” shouted the boss as Floppy walked into the dark alley on his way home from picking up his grandmother’s weekly groceries.

The shoes put the plan into action, but missed, thus Floppy was saved and he lived happily ever after.

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