you are walking and suddenly a semi, you chase it but it loops into an interdimensional time portal and you're late for your dentist appointment again. You try to do a backflip to get back to the toothpaste stand, but a man is standing there with pictures of cured meats. You want to try some but right then a giant card monster flies at you. Whoa a card monster, that's fresh. But it wasn't so much a card monster as it was a card MONSTER. Capital M, now that's something isn't it? So you walk, and your shoe is untied. You try to tie it - but it won't tie. The laces like worms slink away, drink some soda, and return rejuvenated. Unfortunately you forgot what you were doing and now you're headed down a slide - you slide into a giant pudding. The flavor is 9/10 IGN, which is to say it wasn't very good. So you take a swim and underneath there are aquatic creatures living there. You wonder if they're friendly, but before you think much on it they are munching at your feet. It's okay you never had much use for those anyway. A footless man at least you don't have to worry about tying your shoes anymore. Anyhow you fall out of the portal and would you believe it, you are at the dentist. But alas it's that pesky card MONSTER. Well you're already there so you let him clean your teeth anyway. Unfortunately he is only really interested in eating your teeth. He begins to eat them, but hey win-win they can't bother you if they aren't there. You are losing body parts at an alarming pace. But the sooner your body is gone the sooner you can experience the next life. You make up your mind to ditch the rest of it as soon as possible. You resolve to buy some vinegar and take a dive. Unfortunately (or fortunately) on the way there you are swooped up by...NONE OTHER THAN a card MONSTER. Oh but it wasn't a card monster this time but more of a CARD monster. In any case he returns your teeth and shoes. Ah well, we can't all be lucky. You go back to find the time portal but it's gone. So you buy a pack of gum with your last few dollars. You start to chew, but someone stops you - it's a scratch off? Huh, seems you won a few thousand dollars, but you're hungry so you eat the gum-ottery ticket anyway. Your eyes glaze over and your surfing on a rainbow. Now this is good, why didn't they incorporate that into mario kart? You're sliding, but you can't breathe, and god damn another card monster. You wake up but you're still asleep.
