How To Be Like Rydian
If you're here, it's for one of three reasons.
If you're here, it's for one of three reasons.
- You're honestly curious about this thread
- You can't pass up the opportunity to see me making fun of myself.
- You're 12 and learned that EoF threads can contain pics of boobs.
In any case, this thread is about how to be another Rydian. To have the highest postcount, to have throngs of homosexuals
you have no interest in falling at your feet in the creepiest manner possible, to be idolized and hated by 50/50% of GBAtemp
(or 49/51% depending on Guild's sexuality that day)...
A dream that might be reached, if you persevere. You think this is easy? No, getting yourself to the level of Rydian is
harder than holding in a fart during the entire church service. That said, let us begin.
- Any time anybody says something wrong, correct them. I don't care if they haphazardly used the word "firmware"
instead of "kernel", get on their ass. Better yet, up it. Quote them, then PM them, then e-mail them, then IM them to
make SURE they know that they're being corrected. If you can find their home address I WOULD say "good job", but that's
a trick question because you wouldn't leave your house anyways.
- Fire up Microsoft Word, make a table, and apply the default formatting. Gain 80 likes in 2 minutes.
- "But there's different colors and" - Fuck you dogs are colorblind you insensitive ass.
- If you did not immediately attempt to correct the above sentence, you're not trying hard enough.
- "But there's different colors and" - Fuck you dogs are colorblind you insensitive ass.
- Don't be afraid to pull off "mental tricks", such as using metaphors, asking for sources, or sticking in random words that
may not be related to your sentence. While such a regular display of digestive fortitude may confuzzle those of lesser bit
depths, confusion is your best friend (unless you're facing a Zubat).
- No-life. If you haven't left your house in 7 days, you're 25% of the way towards how much I post in a day, keep it up.
- "But what about-" THAT'S WHAT GOD GAVE YOU HANDS FOR!
- Know all sorts of useless little details about systems, especially ones you've never had any contact with.
When you can write an entire hacking FAQ for a system you've never made physical contact with, then you know
your social life has ceased to exist.
- Don't bother to distinguish friend from foe. You crop-dust your friends just like you to do your enemies, right?
Spending the time to consider whether a user should be called a knuckle-dragging skaglick or not is time you could
actually spend doing it.
- Have a few tabs open, on Google, with the cursor in the search box. If you can't pull up a link to prove somebody wrong
about whether it's normal for one testicle to hand 0.3 inches lower than the other within 3 seconds (posting including),
you will never be glorious.
- Hit on anything that may appear to have a CHANCE of being female.
I got lazy and stopped there.
