Best insults you've ever heard?

[chavosaur]

How is this thread not filled with quotes from full metal jacket?

"How tall are you son?"
"FIVE FOOT 9 SIR!"
"My God, I didn't know they stacked Shit that high!"

"Where you from private?"
"SIR TEXAS SIR!"
"TEXAS? Boy only Steers and Queers come from Texas, and your sure as hell not a steer so I guess that narrows it down!"

I did a monologue for this as well my junior year of theatre. Much fun :3

 

[Deleted-236924]

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

 

[finkmac]

"I've been called worse things by better people"- Pierre Trudeau

 

[FAST6191]

I know I already went and sadly it did not happen to their face so I am not sure if I can include it but as I figure it would be one of the most unpleasant accusations I will go it.

[scene background]
A fellow IT type was cleaning a malware addled laptop courtesy of some people not knowing how to get porn safely
[beer o'clock later that day]
"I would not have cared but every single piece of porn on that machine was boring as all hell"

I have tried to figure out how someone might work it into an insult without foregoing the IT fixing person's discretion but should it be managed in the hypothetical pub environment and it not end* in a massive fight regardless of the insult victim's combat ability it is probably because the sparkly bits happened early from embarrassment.

*"Well yeah I bet your porn is boring" does not work/would be the schoolboy version of it.

 

[Castiel]

"You dirt sucking slime, you scum sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!" - Three Amigos

Also, one of my new favorite lines in the movie:
Lucky Day: "Not so fast El Guapo! Or I'll pump you so full of lead you'll be using your dick for a pencil!"

 

[LunaWofl]

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be in a state of permanent orgasm."

 

[Law]

I know I already went and sadly it did not happen to their face so I am not sure if I can include it but as I figure it would be one of the most unpleasant accusations I will go it.

[scene background]
A fellow IT type was cleaning a malware addled laptop courtesy of some people not knowing how to get porn safely
[beer o'clock later that day]
"I would not have cared but every single piece of porn on that machine was boring as all hell"

I have tried to figure out how someone might work it into an insult without foregoing the IT fixing person's discretion but should it be managed in the hypothetical pub environment and it not end* in a massive fight regardless of the insult victim's combat ability it is probably because the sparkly bits happened early from embarrassment.

*"Well yeah I bet your porn is boring" does not work/would be the schoolboy version of it.

"Well sorry to disappoint you, but not everything is exciting as 2girls1cup." Implying he jacks to that.

edit: unless you mean to insult people who watch boring porn, in which case I have no idea. Make fun of them for not being weird or kinky and call them a "normal".

 

[Blaze163]

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be in a state of permanent orgasm."

That's one of mine Been my Facebook profile message since I set the thing up.

 

[Janthran]

Belgium.
/thread

 

[Flame]

Belgium.
/thread

your mum is a Christian slut. banged by atheist like me.
/thread

 

[Black-Ice]

Belgium.
/thread

your mum is a Christian slut. banged by atheist like me.
/thread

I'm Black-Ice. Your argument is invalid
/thread

 

[Janthran]

Belgium.
/thread

your mum is a Christian slut. banged by atheist like me.
/thread

No, that's just one of those stupid "ur mom" jokes
it's a stupid insult that shouldn't have ever gotten popular.
zark off

 

[Flame]

Belgium.
/thread

your mum is a Christian slut. banged by atheist like me.
/thread

No, that's just one of those stupid "ur mom" jokes
it's a stupid insult that shouldn't have ever gotten popular.
zark off

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

Boy, this thread got stupid quickly!​

 

[Beldr]

Ur mom is so fat, that she uses cheatcodes for WiiFit

 

[Janthran]

Ur mom is so fat, that she uses cheatcodes for WiiFit

This isn't a thread for "ur mom" jokes.

 

[Law]

ur mom is so anal-retentive I still haven't managed to pull out

 

[Black-Ice]

This threads needs some more BOLD AND CENTER ​

AWWWWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHH​

 

[nryn99]

guys stop with this ur mom insults. what are you like 10?
they should be praised and complimented for what they can do.

 

[Vulpes Abnocto]

guys stop with this ur mom insults. what are you like 10?
they should be praised and complimented for what they can do.

Indeed. Like the fact that Narayan's mom sucks so much di....

*pummeled by Narayan*