thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition - Round 11

[Veho]

Yeah, should've thrown the Sega Firecore in there or something.

Or the Chintendo Vii



My vote would go to Wii Mini, if it counted as a separate console. While technically still a Wii, in reality it's more like half a Wii; Wii being as humble as it is already, the Wii Mini is just sad.

 

[Foxi4]

All your previous roasts featured at least one oddball console from left field in addition to the well-known big boys, I was expecting you to unearth some obscure box to list alongside the big three. I am disappoint.

Yeah, it was the same with the Dreamcast/PS2/Gamecube/Xbox poll - no weird-ass console from the margins to dump votes on... and there I hoped for the iQue Player or the XaviXPort...

 

[matpower]

Yeah, it was the same with the Dreamcast/PS2/Gamecube/Xbox poll - no weird-ass console from the margins to dump votes on... and there I hoped for the iQue Player or the XaviXPort...

iQue Player is a (technically, since it uses the System-on-a-chip stuff and games needed ports) portable N64, most people wouldn't vote at it if they did research. Same with the Firecore.

Or the Chintendo Vii



My vote would go to Wii Mini, if it counted as a separate console. While technically still a Wii, in reality it's more like half a Wii; Wii being as humble as it is already, the Wii Mini is just sad.

Man, that subtitles are great.
To be honest, Wii Mini was a terrible idea from the start, Wii never needed to be smaller, it is the smaller than most Slim consoles.
(I swear he wants to see the flame wars, that is why he didn't pick any weirdo!)

 

[Foxi4]

Or the Chintendo Vii

My vote would go to Wii Mini, if it counted as a separate console. While technically still a Wii, in reality it's more like half a Wii; Wii being as humble as it is already, the Wii Mini is just sad.

Chintendo Vii is just the tip of the iceberg, Veho. Meet the Overmax line:

Spoiler: Overmax Movebox

Spoiler: Overmax V-Motion

Spoiler: Overmax 85 Games

Spoiler: Overmax 90 Games

...can you tell what they're ripping off? ;O;

 

[Walker D]

I don't even want to answer that ...all of them showed something that made it fun to me in some way..

 

[Veho]

Chintendo Vii is just the tip of the iceberg, Veho.

I know, I mentioned the first one that came to mind. There really are too many to list here.

 

[Foxi4]

I know, I mentioned the first one that came to mind. There really are too many to list here.

Well, to be fair, I've seen the Movebox in normal supermarkets... so... I suppose... it's mainstream?

 

[Nathan Drake]

I voted for the Wii. I got bored of the controls and longed for a more traditional control scheme, and I've grown so bored of Nintendo franchises that the Wii had next to nothing to offer me in terms of a good gaming experience.

The 360 wasn't amazing, but the amount of fun I had playing games against my friend on that system can't be understated. It had a decent range of exclusives as well. It falls short though with its pay wall for absolutely every online function, as well as for the fact that much of the library and its exclusives tended to be one FPS or another. I did like its online functionality though. It had a number of functions that the PS3 really would have benefited from including in its online service.

The PS3 was the all star of this last generation, in my humble opinion. It had a diverse range of exclusives, and PSN is easily one of the best ways to legally get your hands on all of the great PS1 titles. Besides that, the online store is vastly superior to what was offered on either the Wii or 360. As of now, I can't find much of a reason to own any recent console besides the PS3, as due to its library and overall functionality, it offers the most out of any of the last gen hardware.

I'm completely disregarding piracy and homebrew here, as all three systems are hackable and grant similar functionality once hacked.

 

[JoostinOnline]

This was a really tough one. All three 7th-gen consoles were great IMO. I reluctantly chose the PS3 because of its high price. I only played it a few times as I couldn't afford to buy one.

I really liked the Wii, because the lack of HD didn't bother me even a little. I also absolutely loved the motion control. I know some people didn't like it (Gahars for example), or thought it was "gimicky", but I loved it. It was especially good for anything with a gun. The Metroid Prime games, Conduit 1 & 2, and most Resident Evil games are examples. I got really good at aiming with the remote to the point where I could head-shot just about anything. To me it wasn't distracting at all, and made the game feel much more real.

I understand why someone would really dislike the motion controls if they couldn't adapt to them. I had a very easy time of it though.

 

[Dork]

Oh this is easy, Xbox 360.

PC for any multiplat titles, and a PS3 + Wii for all the great exclusive games they had. Xbox 360 was extremely lacking in exclusive games and was really only a multiplat machine.

 

[EyeZ]

Wow.... what a selection to pick one from.

Definitely not the PS3, as the PS3 is my fave, so the Wii or the 360

I'll be back with my vote after some deliberation.

 

[codezer0]

This generation... geeze.

Speaking only from experience...

Xbox 360

• Launch one RRoD'd, true, but it was a hard drive failure... the system still kept working if I could have used it without the hard drive. With the BB replacement plan, I was able to upgrade to the Elite that I'd been using ever since.
• Started with maybe compatibility of 15% of the original Xbox library; has since grown to support ~51% of the entire catalog, which is impressive for pure software BC
• Buying a newer model, other than just being more difficult to mod, doesn't rob you of any functionality. At All. Even a new 360 E can still play all the original Xbox games already made compatible.
• Firmware update enables 1080p output for all the systems.

Nintendo Wii

• Directly backward compatible with GameCube games, and short of specialty accessories (like the GB player), everything worked.
• 480p only? bleh...
  • At the least it made a much more automatic up-conversion for GameCube games
• Virtual Console has worked stupendously well on the system.
• Hacking has really blown the doors off what the system could do beyond that
• Nintendium at least on the home consoles, has stood the test of time thus far. Only ever had to buy one, and it's been a tank in every sense of the word
• Using the wiimote+nunchuk should be the ideal console input for stuff like shooters, but in practice, it tends to cause me some serious cramping at the wrists
• Probably (original) home to some of Suda 51's best work

PS3

• Currently on my 4th (yes, fourth) 60gig PS3. Sony hardware reliability, my ass.
• The 20gig I initially rescued currently has a corrupt NAND. And nobody wants to carry any solutions that would let me bring it back, much less fix the BD drive
• Sony started with 90~% BC that could easily be made to 100%, then 60%... to 0%
• ... so they can sell us half-assed "HD collections" (looking at you, God of War Collection)
• Where are the stable Cobra-based firmwares?
• The current editions of the system are a blatant mockery of everything that you got with the launch models
• ... yet only the neutered ones actually get any love in the form of no-solder kits, ODE's, the lot.
• So few games that would even output in 1080p
• ... most of which arbitrarily limited it to HDMI only, when there's no technical reason to do so.
• All the hype of 3D, and 720p only? Meh...
• The lie of "supporting Linux"
• The god-awful triggers on the factory controllers
• The lie that they couldn't put rumble in, only to bring it back not even a year later.
• Oh, and of the three, Sony chose to ban me despite never playing online.

I'll just leave it at that.

 

[Tom Bombadildo]

Had to go for the Wii on this one for pretty much the same reasons as Nathan Drake. Nintendo games entertained me for a couple weeks, and then I just got sick and tired of Mario and Zelda and was left with...a couple of junk third party games.

After the Wii, I went for the 360 which provided me for most of my console games for quite a few years. Then I switched to the PS3 and haven't given a second look back. Since I bought it about a year ago during the beginning of it's long death, it was cheap, PS+ gave me a shit ton of games to play, the exclusives were great and the multiplats aren't nearly as bad as the first few years.

Though now that I have my PS4, it looks like my PS3 will be taking a bit of nap unless it gets some kind of great game that won't be coming to the PS4.

 

[TripleSMoon]

I really don't think I can honestly cast a vote in this, and may sit this one out.

I own all three systems, and all of them have their strengths. The Wii is certainly my favorite, but you all know that's because I'm a huge Nintendo fan, so it naturally had the games that I liked best. I also personally liked the motion controls, at least in the cases where they were utilized well. Heck, even Metroid: Other M did some cool things with motion controls. The downsides were obvious though, since the system just wasn't powerful enough to output visuals anywhere near on par with its competition, or carry multiplats that didn't feel like watered down ports with forced motion gimmicks.

PS3 is the second for me, though I didn't pick it up until about a year ago. The OS feels overall smooth, unintrusive, and simple to me (I know that last one in particular is very subjective, but I much prefer a UI simple in both feel and literal use, as I find it easier to navigate). The PS3 also has my favorite 7th-gen controller (I really don't understand why people hate the dpad... I think it has the best one of the three!), with the only downside being the triggers, to a degree. I also am coming to love Sony's exclusive offerings, and PS+ is quite possibly the best money-saving gaming investment ever, aside from Steam, of course. The only real downside I see here is game performance, especially in earlier games, which brings us to...

360 is the third for me, but don't get me wrong; I don't think it's a terrible system. Thing is, if it weren't for the fact that multiplats often run better on 360 than PS3 (especially in earlier games), as well as the fact that I like Halo and Gears of War, I would see no compelling reason to own one. It has almost no exclusives, online multiplayer is paid (along with many other services that are free on just about every other platform, like Netflix and YouTube), and even with a paid subscription, the dashboard feels like it's at least 60% ads that waste so much space. Not to mention that Microsoft didn't seem to learn it's lesson from the original Xbox regarding the dpad: The 360 controller easily has one of the worst, most unreliable dpads I've ever seen in a major, first party controller. There were also the infamous RRoD issues, but I personally never had to deal with that.

You know what, scratch what I said in the beginning: After writing everything out, I know that 360 gets my vote. Just keep in mind I don't think it's an awful system: I just don't think it's as good as the two alternatives.

 

[Psionic Roshambo]

I voted for the PS3, it was waayyy over priced, under delivered on the PS2 legacy and then you have Sony suing people left and right, the whole PSN happy fun time thing. Thanks to Sony many people had to get CC's reissued.

To add to the problems I think the PS3 is the only console in history that nearly took down a mega corp in one gen with money lost counted in the billions.

Nintendo raked in billions, Microsoft probably made some pretty good money on the 360 (even after paying out the ass for the whole RROD) and Sony just ate it, I doubt they made money on the PS3 and most likely lost all the money they had made on the PS1 and PS2 (At one point this was certainty but they may have made some $$$ back on the PS3 at the end? But surely not enough to cover the billions they lost at the beginning.)

I guess it's all about expectations for my vote, from Nintendo I expected so little except Excite Truck and Zelda at launch. The cheap price of the machine and a couple of great games at launch was all I expected. I got so much more from that little wonder box it's not even funny.

From my PS3 I expected an HD PS2 with a shit ton of awesome games, after all I paid like $400 for my PS3 (used) and Sony promised a LOT! What I felt like I got was a watered down PC with too many FPS games. Sure things turned around in the past couple of years and it finally became worth owning the thing. But it was a test of my will power not to sell the thing.

I never expected much out of the 360 considering how the original Xbox did (it was my vote for the worst console last gen.) but in my opinion the 360 performed at least as well as the PS3 in so many respects. The RROD thing was bad, but taken in context of how bad the PS3 did to Sony and the bad things Sony did and the whole comedy routine you could build out of the stuff Sony said before and after launch....

Seriously the PS3 nearly killed off Sony single handedly, it did more damage to the company than Nintendo and Microsoft combined. To me that makes it the worst console in that gen.

 

[Nathan Drake]

-snip

The PS3 didn't nearly bankrupt their entire corporation. Sony is bigger than that. It may have put their gaming division in danger, but clearly they bounced back. As for the price, the PS3 did much like what the DS did: it started out unpopular and then relaunched with a shinier model that got all of the attention. At the time of release, their biggest mistake was including a blu-ray drive, which, in these past few years has actually proven very useful for keeping large games from big developers on a single disc. Anybody who bought in early did get the added benefit of PS2 support, so, ya know, they had that going for them. The price was highly unattractive, but hey, at least most people only had to buy one PS3 instead of a multitude of RRoD 360's that took someone suing for responsibility to be taken.

When it came to games, the 360 was the FPS machine. PS3 was more a balance of RPG games, multiplats (which happened to include the major multiplat shooters), and action/adventure titles. Sure, it wasn't the PS2, but anybody expecting another PS2 was clearly delusional. The PS2 was an unusually successful system in terms of game selection. It was a real one off as far as game development goes, and a lot of its profit comes from the fact that the PS1 took away the majority of Nintendo's support during the previous generation. Really, you can't blame Sony because you regret being an early adopter. It's a risk you choose to take and all disappointment is your own fault in the long run. It's why people suggest waiting two or three years before buying. If you sat there thinking that any company could deliver on absolutely everything they promised (though whether they even promised another PS2 is up for debate), then you're silly. They say what they need to in order to get early adopters.

Really though, your information is littered with misinformation. Trust me when I say that people here would have practically been masturbating to the idea of Sony dying so that Nintendo would lose the only competitor that seems to be able to outdo them. They still happily went after the fact that the PS3 suffered for awhile, but unlike Nintendo, both Sony and Microsoft have a lot of non-game related goods going for them that remain fairly successful.

 

[stomp_442]

I bought a 360 and barely used it. I'm so cheap I wouldn't pay to game online with the thing when my PS3 and Wii were free to game online, although my modded PS3 never went online, the PS3 homebrew kept me busy. I would have modded my 360 but there wasn't much homebrew going on with it so I said screw it and it sat there collecting dust. I got more use from my PS3 and Wii so I gave the 360 the axe.

 

[Adeka]

Voted 360 because it's the only console that has ever died on me. Not a big fan of fps games either so most of it's exclusives were a huge turnoff.

Wii...God awful multiplayer. Awesome original exclusives. It was the first of the 3 consoles I picked up. Plus it still works.

PS3. PlayStation Plus. Need I say more?

 

[Psionic Roshambo]

snip

I could post a small army of links to the information on how the PS3 nearly broke the company. Even Sony themselves claimed that they "bet the company" on the PS3.

Sorry if this information is new to you, it's only 5+ years old to me...

http://archive.wired.com/wired/archive/14.09/sony.html

From the archives, sadly it seems to paint a far different picture than your post. There are literally hundreds of news stories on how the PS3 at launch was costing Sony billions of dollars yearly for the first couple of years.

Then you get recent stories like this one...

http://www.torontosun.com/2014/05/01/sony-slashes-profit-forecast-again-raising-pressure-on-ceo

Read that article very carefully, then do a bunch more digging on how Sony is doing. (As you say they are a large company) They pretty much only make money these days on the entertainment division. Almost everything else is bleeding money at an astounding rate or has been sold off. (Too much stuff sold off to link in this post, but the short list is Chemical production, LCD production, PC production, multiple office buildings, and much much more. Sony isn't as large as they used to be.)


Pray Sony does better and soon, I know I am...

No I don't want Sony to "die" or even do badly, please do not take my post in that way. I only point out the facts as the news is presented. When I expressed an opinion in my post I labeled it as such. I honestly didn't think I needed to post links to each and every thing I mentioned as it's pretty common knowledge to anyone who even remotely pays attention to gaming as a hobby.

"Trust me when I say that people here would have practically been masturbating to the idea of Sony dying so that Nintendo would lose the only competitor that seems to be able to outdo them."

They may get that fantasy fulfilled sorry to say, and I feel the industry will suffer for it.

 

[Ericthegreat]

Why is the 360 leading this? lmfao