spanking, belting is child abuse. cause i got fucked up mentally. when they keep goin' at it, its hard for them to stop. i guess it just depends on how bad u got fucked. lol
Spanking/Belting... Child Abuse or not?
- Thread starter ShadowSoldier
- Start date
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ShadowSoldier said:
Says you? You said and i qoute from memory "i should have the right to spank my kid if hes being a duchebag" Thats the sign of a abusive personality, Surely the discussions about a parents right to discipline there child?
Theres another thing interesting about the quoted statement, You put he, Is that to suggest that you dont condone smacking ur child if its a daughter?
Your form of discipline shouldnt depend on what sex the child is. I expect the typical Smack happy family with that ideology about discipline would actually create a more emotional torn male.
Like someone said it depends on the child. If its abuse or not, depends on reasonings. And how fair the parenting is to all children involved in the family.
Goli said:Yes but violence isn't the only punishment. You can take away the kids toys or whatever he really likes such as the computer, consoles, etc. You can ignore the kid too, ignore not as in let him starve to death obviously, ignore as in just continue as if nothing was happening, eventually kids get tired. There are plenty of other ways I probably can't think of right now.ShadowSoldier said:Fuck dude, like 95% of kids don't listen to their parents, you telling me 95% failed parenthood? Hell I'm sure there's something that poster has problem with his kids, I could easily say he failed parenthood because of it.
Also, I never listened to my parents as a child. I didn't listen to anybody. I got yelled at a lot, it wasn't until I started... you know what, not even going to try here, clearly talking to someone who thinks spanking someone is abuse.
Until I started cutting you mean. Cutting isn't something healthy, maybe you resort to it because you were abused as a child.
No one replied to any of my posts either. Does that mean I should assume "silence is assent" as well?ShadowSoldier said:
QUOTE
The other problem I find with spanking and all that is that when parents do it, many kids perceive that as something "normal", then when they're in school or in some other activity which involves interactions with others they resort to violence too. Many "bullies" bully other kids because they're spanked, hit and who knows what else, so they think it's fine for them to do the same. And then when they grow up they hit their wives and kids too, it's a big vicious circle.
I've had both kinds of punishment. Spankings, and then once I reached a certain age, it was just taking away things I really liked. They both work as punishments, but they are different. When I knew a spanking was a possibility, I would rarely take a chance on doing something wrong. However, if I knew that all that would happen is to take away video games for a week, I would be much more apt to testing how close I can get without getting the punishment - therefore I learned manipulation(which is something I know to be very bad, and I've mostly been able to get over it by now(but not completely >_
Only suitable for minors?:
Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf
Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the anal region, sex organs, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net
Child bottom-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child bottom-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
There are several reasons why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.
In 31 nations, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US also has the highest incarceration rate in the world.
The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-battering instills virtue.
Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf
Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the anal region, sex organs, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net
Child bottom-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child bottom-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
There are several reasons why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.
In 31 nations, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US also has the highest incarceration rate in the world.
The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-battering instills virtue.
I completely agree with what you posted. Spanking where a long-term mark is left on the body is excessive.
On the other hand, spanking to get a young child to comply is something that is needed in today's times. Children have no fear now when it comes to getting in trouble. You got grounded? Boo Hoo. You'll have to stay inside and play video games and watch TV for a weekend. WOW... terrible punishment. I bet you won't do it again next weekend.
Children need to have some level of fear of consequences. Look at adulthood. If you act like a fool in public, you may get you ass handed to you by someone who gets pissed enough.
I restate that I believe excessive spanking is considered abuse. There is no reason to make someone black and blue because they aren't complying. A swift kick in the ass will sometimes bring you back to reality though.
I will state that I am probably older than a lot of the people posting in this thread (well, most of them). I used to get spanked when I was disobaying my parents orders and all it did was make me afraid to step out of line. It made me think twice about doing anything that would upset my folks. I think it made me a better person because of it.
On the other hand, spanking to get a young child to comply is something that is needed in today's times. Children have no fear now when it comes to getting in trouble. You got grounded? Boo Hoo. You'll have to stay inside and play video games and watch TV for a weekend. WOW... terrible punishment. I bet you won't do it again next weekend.
Children need to have some level of fear of consequences. Look at adulthood. If you act like a fool in public, you may get you ass handed to you by someone who gets pissed enough.
I restate that I believe excessive spanking is considered abuse. There is no reason to make someone black and blue because they aren't complying. A swift kick in the ass will sometimes bring you back to reality though.
I will state that I am probably older than a lot of the people posting in this thread (well, most of them). I used to get spanked when I was disobaying my parents orders and all it did was make me afraid to step out of line. It made me think twice about doing anything that would upset my folks. I think it made me a better person because of it.
It completely makes sense that those willing to do crimes and don't care about education would also have a high probability of physical abuse to children. This is not proof that spanking is bad. This is proof that violent people are going to be violent to their kids by taking something that can be used properly, spanking, and taking it to harmful extremes.MMead said:
Waynes1987 said:
Omg, I didn't put she?! I guess that means I don't condone it now do I? If I put she and not he, you'd think the same wouldn't you? Just because I didn't put "he/she" or "the child" doesn't mean I play favorites or anything like what you're thinking. But also, it doesn't take a genius to know that majority of troublemakers in young ages, is the boys. But I wasn't referring to that, but whatever.
Spanking is fine. With a belt? I don't think so. I've experienced my fair share of discipline, but never to the extent of being hit with a belt or something that I would think is "extreme". I'm old enough now that my parents rarely hit me, since I'm taller than them (but they're still heavier and stronger, haha), but I don't think I misbehaved when I was a kid either. I suffer more verbal discipline than physical discipline, but truth be told, I'd rather get one quick slap to the head then getting yelled at for an hour. Either way, discipline is definitely not abuse, and as long as there's no blood, the damage is not permanent (physically, mentally for some, I don't know), and it's for a reason (and the punishment isn't excessive), then it's a parent's choice, because it isn't abuse.
ShadowSoldier said:
Your defenciveness isnt needed lol
no cord struck.
i think its interesting how people word things.
saying a childs being a duchebag doesnt really mean when they've done something wrong, kids are kids.
Perhaps your statement was taken from when you were alittle bit defencive against someone elses point. who knows.
Typically a statement like that is a sign of an abusive personality.
And if it wasnt for how you were replying to people, id probably think i was wrong.
Heres a question, what would you class as a reason to smack a kid then?
Goli said:
Say the kid is throwing rocks at cars or something destructive. Give them a speaking to. If they don't listen or they do it next time, bam, spanking.
Haha what's up with the defensiveness? All I stated was that the option "No," and "I/My child may have deserved it" are basically saying the same thing. Unless you're trying to tell me "No" implies you can hit your kid whenever you want.ShadowSoldier said:
Whatever you want? Eh, only if, as you said, he's being a douche bag. Otherwise you sound incredibly immature.
However I will say you need to have patience and be assertive.
"Son/Daughter get over here."
"No! *Laughs*"
"RAAAAAGE!"
Personally, I see hitting my kid as an absolute last resort.
Uncle FEFL said:
Not being defensive. Just didn't have an answer for you. I didn't want just "Yes/No" So I typed whatever popped into my brain.
If your parents know how to talk, they don't need physical punishment.
Now, just so you know, I do not have a criminal record, don't smoke, actually have morals, get decent-excellent grades etc etc.
Depending on the situation, I do not think physical punishment is necessary for many cases unless you did something extremely serious like killing a bird or bashing up a guy at school, but you'd prolly need counselling then so maybe one step lower from that seriousness.
I have almost never been hit in my lifetime. My parents know how to talk and they make me feel my guilt.
Now, just so you know, I do not have a criminal record, don't smoke, actually have morals, get decent-excellent grades etc etc.
Depending on the situation, I do not think physical punishment is necessary for many cases unless you did something extremely serious like killing a bird or bashing up a guy at school, but you'd prolly need counselling then so maybe one step lower from that seriousness.
I have almost never been hit in my lifetime. My parents know how to talk and they make me feel my guilt.
Where does guilt come from? It comes from knowing you did something wrong. How did you know what you did was wrong? You're parents must have taught you. How did they teach you? Was that when one of the hits in your lifetime was? If it was, then do think it was abuse that they did that? If it wasn't, do you mind sharing how you originally knew right from wrong? Or is that reaching to far back?fgghjjkll said:
It seems the basis is that if you are a good parent, you will not have to resort to physical punishment very often, but it seems like it may benefit the child to have it at least 1-few times in their life and then use guilt to set them on the right track in the future? Is that right?
[rambling]
What if you're not a good parent though? Does that mean the parent has to go through a parenting class or something? Should they have to give up their children?
[randomly inserted here before posting]About your first sentence, does that mean that if parents DON'T know how to talk, they DO need physical punishment?[/randomly inserted here before posting]
What if the parent is just an 'okay' parent? They can't control their child's guilt by just speech. Should we refuse them one of the only alternative ways of making sure the child knows to not do wrong by calling it abuse? What alternative is there?
Let's see, we have:
1. Guilt inducing speech.
2. Physical punishment.
3. The taking away of privileges.
4. ?
5. Profit. [/meme]
Is there any other way to make children stop doing wrong? The best way does seem to be Guilt inducing speech, but first of all, that's not possible until the child knows right from wrong. Second of all, what if the parent isn't good at that for any amount of reasons? "OMG! BAD PARENT!" Is that true? Not everyone can share the same abilities as everyone else, right? Or is that something everyone can do? (I'd like an answer from someone. Preferably one who give reasons/examples for why they believe that.)
But this doesn't even mention the children who might feel guilty, but still do the wrong anyway. That takes #1 out right there. Is it the parents fault for the child doing wrong despite feeling guilty? This seems like a debate question that cannot be proven by either side. I take the side of "No, it's not the parents fault, some kids just do wrong despite knowing the consequences and feeling guilty." This is because I've know an innumerable amount of kids who will do wrong despite guilt, and I find it hard to believe that every single one of the parents of those kids are bad parents. I think this comes down to: It depends on the kid. Perhaps there are little angels that only need to feel guilt to not do something wrong their entire lives.
[/rambling]
Sorry, I don't really feel like I'm being very good at organizing my thoughts.
fgghjjkll said:
As I have stated, not ALL kids listen though. No matter what the parent is saying or how they're saying it.
In my opinion, yes, it is child abuse. Discipline and respect are not ideas that are best taught by lessons derived in pain. That is not to say you should allow a child to grow up a delinquent. Just make sure you don't ever physically harm (intentionally or otherwise) a child, because that just makes matters worse.
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