spanking, belting is child abuse. cause i got fucked up mentally. when they keep goin' at it, its hard for them to stop. i guess it just depends on how bad u got fucked. lol
ripandsip said:spanking, belting is child abuse. cause i got fucked up mentally. when they keep goin' at it, its hard for them to stop. i guess it just depends on how bad u got fucked. lol
ShadowSoldier said:ripandsip said:spanking, belting is child abuse. cause i got fucked up mentally. when they keep goin' at it, its hard for them to stop. i guess it just depends on how bad u got fucked. lol
If it's hard for a parent to stop, they're not fit to be parents.
Goli said:Yes but violence isn't the only punishment. You can take away the kids toys or whatever he really likes such as the computer, consoles, etc. You can ignore the kid too, ignore not as in let him starve to death obviously, ignore as in just continue as if nothing was happening, eventually kids get tired. There are plenty of other ways I probably can't think of right now.ShadowSoldier said:Fuck dude, like 95% of kids don't listen to their parents, you telling me 95% failed parenthood? Hell I'm sure there's something that poster has problem with his kids, I could easily say he failed parenthood because of it.
Also, I never listened to my parents as a child. I didn't listen to anybody. I got yelled at a lot, it wasn't until I started... you know what, not even going to try here, clearly talking to someone who thinks spanking someone is abuse.
Until I started cutting you mean. Cutting isn't something healthy, maybe you resort to it because you were abused as a child.
No one replied to any of my posts either. Does that mean I should assume "silence is assent" as well?ShadowSoldier said:Wait, I realized I just used the wrong wording, can you tell I'm tired?
I meant to say:
"There are a lot of kids in the world who weren't spanked as a child, and they don't respect their parents."
There are a lot of kids in the world who weren't spanked as a child, and they do respect their parents.
Like I said on my previous post, it just creates a vicious circle. Since nobody replied to it I'll just assume "silence is assent" as they say.
QUOTE
The other problem I find with spanking and all that is that when parents do it, many kids perceive that as something "normal", then when they're in school or in some other activity which involves interactions with others they resort to violence too. Many "bullies" bully other kids because they're spanked, hit and who knows what else, so they think it's fine for them to do the same. And then when they grow up they hit their wives and kids too, it's a big vicious circle.
It completely makes sense that those willing to do crimes and don't care about education would also have a high probability of physical abuse to children. This is not proof that spanking is bad. This is proof that violent people are going to be violent to their kids by taking something that can be used properly, spanking, and taking it to harmful extremes.MMead said:Only suitable for minors?:
Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf
Okay, I was spanked when I was younger. I NEVER had marks like these on my butt. These pics are good if you're trying to stop physical abuse that includes spanking, but not as evidence against correct spanking. Those children have obviously been physically abused. I refuse to believe that spanking without leaving horrible marks like these are to be put in the same category as these. They are separate.
QUOTE(MMead @ Dec 8 2010, 10:07 PM) The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.
There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-battering instills virtue.
Waynes1987 said:Says you?Oooh I struck a chord with somebody.
Theres another thing interesting about the quoted statement, You put he, Is that to suggest that you dont condone smacking ur child if its a daughter?QUOTE said:You said and i qoute from memory "i should have the right to spank my kid if hes being a duchebag" Yeah, I should. If he's breaking rules or whatever, then yes. There's nothing wrong with that. That's usually why kids are spanked, because they're breaking rules.
No, it's called spanking a child when they're not listening to you at all and need discipline.QUOTE said:Thats the sign of a abusive personality
QUOTE
Your form of discipline shouldnt depend on what sex the child is. I expect the typical Smack happy family with that ideology about discipline would actually create a more emotional torn male.
Discipline is definitely not abuse. Corporal punishment is.ineap09 said:No one replied to any of my posts either. Does that mean I should assume "silence is assent" as well?
You decide. I think not.
Spanking is fine. With a belt? I don't think so. I've experienced my fair share of discipline, but never to the extent of being hit with a belt or something that I would think is "extreme". I'm old enough now that my parents rarely hit me, since I'm taller than them (but they're still heavier and stronger, haha), but I don't think I misbehaved when I was a kid either. I suffer more verbal discipline than physical discipline, but truth be told, I'd rather get one quick slap to the head then getting yelled at for an hour. Either way, discipline is definitely not abuse, and as long as there's no blood, the damage is not permanent (physically, mentally for some, I don't know), and it's for a reason (and the punishment isn't excessive), then it's a parent's choice, because it isn't abuse.QUOTE said:If kids perceive spankings as "normal," then it would seem to me that their parents aren't doing their job right. Communication is very important. Parents need to communicate to their child that the punishment is a consequence for doing wrong. If the kids understand that, then they'll only associate spankings with doing wrong. If the parent doesn't communicate this well, I can see that child considering spanking/physical pain to be "normal" and might inflict it on those of less power than them as they had perceived their parents doing to them.
That vicious circle does seem like it could happen. One can only hope that one eventual offspring will not perceive the physical pain to be "normal," but will see it as despicable instead. One can only hope that that offspring doesn't jump to the opposite side of the spectrum and choose to not punish their children at all though.
Don't you think that if parents knew how to communicate with their children properly in the first place they wouldn't resort to child abuse?
Like someone said on the thread earlier, the problem here isn't the when some kid misbehaves, it's why the kid is doing it in the first place. It usually involves one or both of the parents' incompetence.
QUOTE(becat @ Dec 8 2010, 11:53 PM)
ShadowSoldier said:Waynes1987 said:Says you?Oooh I struck a chord with somebody.
Theres another thing interesting about the quoted statement, You put he, Is that to suggest that you dont condone smacking ur child if its a daughter?QUOTE said:You said and i qoute from memory "i should have the right to spank my kid if hes being a duchebag" Yeah, I should. If he's breaking rules or whatever, then yes. There's nothing wrong with that. That's usually why kids are spanked, because they're breaking rules.
No, it's called spanking a child when they're not listening to you at all and need discipline.QUOTE said:Thats the sign of a abusive personality
QUOTE
Your form of discipline shouldnt depend on what sex the child is. I expect the typical Smack happy family with that ideology about discipline would actually create a more emotional torn male.
Omg, I didn't put she?! I guess that means I don't condone it now do I? If I put she and not he, you'd think the same wouldn't you? Just because I didn't put "he/she" or "the child" doesn't mean I play favorites or anything like what you're thinking. But also, it doesn't take a genius to know that majority of troublemakers in young ages, is the boys. But I wasn't referring to that, but whatever.
Goli said:Don't you think that if parents knew how to communicate with their children properly in the first place they wouldn't resort to child abuse?
Not all kids listen though. Even if you speak to them in a calm manner, angry manner, strict manner or anything. Some kids just choose to not pay attention.
QUOTEwhat would you class as a reason to smack a kid then?
This sounds right.Goli said:Not all kids listen though. Even if you speak to them in a calm manner, angry manner, strict manner or anything. Some kids just choose to not pay attention.ineap09 said:If kids perceive spankings as "normal," then it would seem to me that their parents aren't doing their job right. Communication is very important. Parents need to communicate to their child that the punishment is a consequence for doing wrong. If the kids understand that, then they'll only associate spankings with doing wrong. If the parent doesn't communicate this well, I can see that child considering spanking/physical pain to be "normal" and might inflict it on those of less power than them as they had perceived their parents doing to them.
That vicious circle does seem like it could happen. One can only hope that one eventual offspring will not perceive the physical pain to be "normal," but will see it as despicable instead. One can only hope that that offspring doesn't jump to the opposite side of the spectrum and choose to not punish their children at all though.
Don't you think that if parents knew how to communicate with their children properly in the first place they wouldn't resort to child abuse?
Like someone said on the thread earlier, the problem here isn't the when some kid misbehaves, it's why the kid is doing it in the first place. It usually involves one or both of the parents' incompetence.
Hmm...I'm not sure. I don't think there are any perfect parents, and even if there were, the child could still be influenced by others outside the parents. The child may then misbehave not because of the parents, but from another influence. Maybe if they live in an environment where there are no bad influences, maybe it is possible to raise a child correctly without needing to use a spanking consequence. Maybe the parents will be able to instill right and wrong into the child just by growing up, without the child actually ever misbehaving. I don't know if that's possible. It might be, but it seems the parents would have to be pretty perfect and be in a perfect environment to do so.
It seems to me that parents will make mistakes, the child will be influenced by bad influences, and the child's maturity level will be incompetent to be able to avoid wrong without the fear of a consequence. Perhaps the consequence doesn't happen often, maybe only one or two times in the child's lifetime, but it seems to me they have to have some fear of consequence unless the parent can make some sort of miracle that makes it so the child will never misbehave without the fear of consequence.
If the child misbehaves constantly, I think either the parents discipline isn't right, or one or both of their parents are incompetent. But I think that for a child to never misbehave is impossible.
That is a very interesting point to bring up though.
QUOTE(ShadowSoldier @ Dec 8 2010, 11:53 PM)
Haha what's up with the defensiveness? All I stated was that the option "No," and "I/My child may have deserved it" are basically saying the same thing. Unless you're trying to tell me "No" implies you can hit your kid whenever you want.ShadowSoldier said:Those options are there because it's my Poll and I can do whatever I want, such as spanking a child. I should have the right to do that if he's being a douche bag.
Uncle FEFL said:Haha what's up with the defensiveness? All I stated was that the option "No," and "I/My child may have deserved it" are basically saying the same thing. Unless you're trying to tell me "No" implies you can hit your kid whenever you want.ShadowSoldier said:Those options are there because it's my Poll and I can do whatever I want, such as spanking a child. I should have the right to do that if he's being a douche bag.
Whatever you want? Eh, only if, as you said, he's being a douche bag. Otherwise you sound incredibly immature.
However I will say you need to have patience and be assertive.
"Son/Daughter get over here."
"No! *Laughs*"
"RAAAAAGE!"
Personally, I see hitting my kid as an absolute last resort.
Where does guilt come from? It comes from knowing you did something wrong. How did you know what you did was wrong? You're parents must have taught you. How did they teach you? Was that when one of the hits in your lifetime was? If it was, then do think it was abuse that they did that? If it wasn't, do you mind sharing how you originally knew right from wrong? Or is that reaching to far back?fgghjjkll said:If your parents know how to talk, they don't need physical punishment.
Now, just so you know, I do not have a criminal record, don't smoke, actually have morals, get decent-excellent grades etc etc.
Depending on the situation, I do not think physical punishment is necessary for many cases unless you did something extremely serious like killing a bird or bashing up a guy at school, but you'd prolly need counselling then so maybe one step lower from that seriousness.
I have almost never been hit in my lifetime. My parents know how to talk and they make me feel my guilt.
My parents know how to talk and they make me feel my guilt.QUOTE said:I have almost never been hit in my lifetime.
So that means you have been hit. Your post made it sound like you don't think physical punishment is needed at all.
QUOTE
fgghjjkll said:If your parents know how to talk, they don't need physical punishment.