I’ll never forget the precise moment I chose to be gay. It was the endpoint in a process of rebellion against my white middle-class parents...Today, thanks to society’s endless mollycoddling and celebration of “alternative” lifestyles, the joy of rebellion is drying up for me. You see, I only plumped for homosexuality to irritate my parents. But now even they are fine with it. A few years ago, my mum said, perhaps cannily, “All I want is for you to be happy." That came as devastating news... Now my gayness was not only roundly applauded by wider society but even my own parents, what was the point? [...] Since gay people have been so endlessly praised, flattered and catered to by the media and politicians, I’ve lost interest in sleeping with men. I want to feel oppressed again! That’s why, from today, I’m going to make a go of being straight. Wish me luck!