I made a song and a video~ please tell me critics~

[GentleFist]

here what i did this weekend want you to tell me your opinion on it~
and maybe ill make a better one next time
tell me what i could have done better~
what isnt good at all~
what part is good~
is it important that the video is good too or should i focus on the music?
is this electric style thingy good or should i bring in more singing? maybe bruno mars style?
i want helpful information because i wanna get serious

 

[narutofan777]

i like the sound. i think you should focus on the music. electric style i'd say stay with it. last thing your voice, can u make it a bit louder or clear? y'know like in them trance or w/e songs where the voice is really clear but its robotic ish ish? just a few adjustments and i'd say the music wuld b fine. not good at critiquing fyi

 

[Bently]

i like the sound. i think you should focus on the music. electric style i'd say stay with it. last thing your voice, can u make it a bit louder or clear? y'know like in them trance or w/e songs where the voice is really clear but its robotic ish ish? just a few adjustments and i'd say the music wuld b fine. not good at critiquing fyi

I have to agree with this comment.

The singing doesn't match, but i like the song. Maybe try and make the beat at 1:20 more earlier, to pick up the pace.

 

[GentleFist]

thanks for the comments will try to do that in my next song