Harvey's Awesomely Fantastic Squeaky-Clean Funny Thread Which Absolutely Makes No Sense Whatsoever!

[HarveyHouston]

I was opting for a longer title, but GBAtemp wouldn't let me.

This is the start of what I hope will be a nice series of funny threads which have no political/religious agenda nor any of that vulgar crud you often find in what are supposed to be funny routines. Thus, stuff about sex, drugs, and rock and roll will be toned down for this thread.

...Okay, maybe not the rock and roll part. After all, I am GBAtemp's Wii Rock Band Hacker for a reason.

April Fool's!

We're coming close to Halloween, so... let's talk about April Fool's Day! Makes sense... right?

Okay, well, maybe it's the "Trick or Treat" thing that gets me thinking about April Fool's. Two days in the year that you can pull pranks, right? I mean, who hasn't heard kids shout:

Trick or Treat! Smell my feet! We want something good to eat!
If you don't, I don't care. I'll pull down your underwear!

Kids can be so cruel.

I mean, after all, if you don't give those little brats candy, they'll leave. Then, the next day, you'll walk outside to find that the trees are suddenly producing long, white strips of 2-ply stuff that you usually put in the bathroom! What a mess, right?

April Fool's Day is worse. So many pranks get pulled that people think are actually true. I hate these pranks. I dread April 1st. If only we would skip from March 31st to April 2nd. Better yet, maybe we should call April 1st "March 32nd"? ...Nah, skipping is better.

Remember the Taco Bell joke? How many people fell for that now? If you did and you're reading this, you're a sad case. Do you really think our government is so dense that they would give up one of the most famous American pieces of history to a fast food chain?!? Eh, don't answer that.

Yet it continues to fool people. That's because people are easy to influence. You can say "The grass is pink!" and they'll say -

"What shade of pink do you think that is?"
"And all this time I thought it was purple!"
"Pink grass and high tides foreverrrr..."

Now, everyone knows that it's actually orange. I think.

My point is, people will believe anything. You don't think you do? Okay, answer me this - how much do you want to be able to play Game Boy games on your Nintendo Switch? Aside from homebrew, it isn't possible right now, right? What if I were to tell you that I have insider information that Nintendo has made an accessory to the Switch and Switch Lite that will allow playing Game Boy Advance games on the Switch?

You wouldn't believe me now, because you know I'm lying. But what if I told you on April 1st, just out of the blue? Would you believe me -

QUICK! LOOK BEHIND YOU!

...Made you look, didn't I?

See what I mean? Even if you knew that I was pranking you, you couldn't resist peeking just to be sure I was telling the truth a couple of paragraphs ago. Just admit it. You can be fooled like the rest of us.

Practical jokes are the absolute worst, especially if done to a person with an anger management problem. I read of one guy who put a spider on another guy's stomach while sleeping, and he woke up and hit him.Hard. Had to go in the hospital for a ruptured appendix. Poor guy. He not only had a rude awakening, but surgery besides.

...Oh, did I not clear that up? I meant that the guy asleep hit the spider! It was a boy spider... I know, I'm not good at explaining things very well.

Anyway, six months from now (and a day), don't be fooled!

 

[Deleted User]

Harv I'm ashamed at you! I thought we promised you would stay away from weed

 

[HarveyHouston]

Seriously, I'm no pot-head; but thanks for your concern.

The thing I smoke is whatever gets burned on the stove. Mac and cheese, Ragu sauce, scrambled eggs - you name it, I smoke it. Or at least make it cause smoke. And flames.

 

[Deleted User]

Seriously, I'm no pot-head; but thanks for your concern.

The thing I smoke is whatever gets burned on the stove. Mac and cheese, Ragu sauce, scrambled eggs - you name it, I smoke it. Or at least make it cause smoke. And flames.

Aww that's sad, cause I love cooking! I'll make a burger or some meatloaf for you

 

[Alexander1970]

Good Morning.

After a nice Breakfast and after also done "post-processing" I look and Read this outstanding Article here.
He gave me a smile.

And I thought so:
Considering how nice people deal with each other today, I'd suggest we make a "I'll push you off the cliff" day soon....

I wish you a nice and happy Day.

 

[HarveyHouston]

I decided to go for same-thread posts instead of a thread series.

The Song That Will Make You Swim For Cover

(imagine Harvey singing)
Ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall; Ninety-nine bottles of pop!
Take one down, pass it around.
Ninety-eight bottles of pop on the wall!
(Harvey takes down a bottle and drinks it's contents) Gulp!

Ninety-eight bottles of pop on the wall; Ninety-eight bottles of pop!
Take one down, pass it around.
Ninety-sev' bottles of pop on the wall!
Gulp!

(Harvey takes a deep breath)
Ninety-sev' bottles of pop on the wall; Ninety-sev' bottles of pop!
Take one down; pass it around.
Ninety-six bottles of pop on the wall!
Gulp!

Ninety-six bottles of pop on the wall; Ninety-six bottles of pop!
(Harvey pauses for a moment as an idea hits him - not too hard, so he can keep singing)
Take two down, pass 'em around.
Ninety-four bottles of pop on the wall!
Gulp! Gulp!

(Harvey sighs, and continues)
Ninety-four bottles of pop on the wall; Ninety-four bottles of pop!
(Another short pause)
Take ten down, pass them around.
Eighty-four bottles of pop on the wall!
Gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp!

(Harvey feels the pop splashing around in his body, and he begrudgingly continues)
Eighty-four bottles of pop on the wall; Eighty-four bottles of pop!
(A pause and a cringe)
Take twenty down, pass them around.
Sixty-four bottles of pop on the wall!
(Pours them in a bucket and drinks heavily) GULP!

(Feeling a bit sick, he decides he's had enough. He takes a hammer)
Sixty-four bottles of pop on the wall! Sixty-four bottles of pop!
(growling) Take them all down! Smashed to the ground!
CRASH!
(The remaining bottles break and fall to the floor, soda spilling everywhere)
(Calmly) There are no bottles of pop on the wall!

(Harvey runs to the nearest bathroom)

 

[AmandaRose]

Mrgrgrgr when in God damn fuckity fuck fuck did the lyrics get changed from 99 bottles of beer to 99 bottles of pop? Bet its all the work of them bloody snowflake liberals again. Mrgrgrgr

 

[HarveyHouston]

Mrgrgrgr when God damn fuckity fuck fuck did the lyrics get changed from 99 bottles of beer to 99 bottles of pop? Bet its all the work of them bloody snowflake liberals again. Mrgrgrgr

Uhm, okay? Chill out, dude.

 

[AmandaRose]

Uhm, okay? Chill out, dude.

It was a piss take of another member of this site that blames everything on them damn liberals. What I would say is it ain't cool to call a female dude. Might be acceptable in your own country but in others its not.

Call a girl dude here in Scotland and I guarantee you would end up with a broken nose or a bloody lip

 

[IncredulousP]

It was a piss take of another member of this site that blames everything on them damn liberals. What I would say is it ain't cool to call a female dude. Might be acceptable in your own country but in others its not.

Call a girl dude here in Scotland and I guarantee you would end up with a broken nose or a bloody lip

Whatevs, dude.

 

[HarveyHouston]

Decided to revisit this thread today, now I wish I haven't. I'm itching to type something else stupid and ridiculous here...

Fight it off, kiddo...

...

...

GAH! I can't help myself! Okay, here comes some more funny nonsense, right here on the Edge of the Forum!

Attack of the Memes

You know, the internet is a funny thing. It's also obscene, dirty, filthy, full of stuff we wish we never saw in the first place - but it can also be funny. every now and then, you see a YouTube video that makes you chuckle, or a post on Facebook that you respond with -

LOL OMG WTH +1 GWMOPRLZJ​

...Eh, don't ask what that last part means. I just ran across it on some German site about mathematics, and how it affects balloon animals.

Anyway, you look on the internet for some funny pictures or animated GIFs you can use in chat, and what do you find?

Here. It. Comes.

Beware! They're all over... They lurk in the dark shadows of the internet, springing from the dark web to attack your posts.

No matter who you are... Where you live... they will find you.

Beware... of THE MEMES!
​

Memes are everywhere. While I'm not sure if it started with that dumb cat saying "I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER", which really makes no sense whatsoever, over the past decade memes are the rage.

Speaking of rage, have you ever seen those troll memes? Scary, right?

YIKES! A face that only a troll mother can love. I guess he got upset from being bonked on the head once too often by a woodpecker...

When video game players got involved, that's when memes really took off. Every character got his/her/its/wahs own meme, almost. Meme for Mario? Check.

Meme for Link? Check.

Meme for Ristar? ...Still looking for that one. Hold on, let me find it... Eh, nope, not there... Hmmm. I'll get back to you on that one.

But then came everyone's favorite - Sonic. 'Scuse me... What was his name again? Oh, sorry, SANIC. Sanic the Hedgehog. Yeah... WHAT?

Yet, here he is. In his child-scribbled form. Sanic has become more popular than Sonic, at least on the internet. Why? I dunno, people like poor artwork? Seriously, I could draw Sonic better with my eyes closed! Drawing him behind my back! Drawing him in a tank of water! Carving him in a piece of diamond with a thumbtack! Seriously, this drawing is BAD. So bad, that it's become famous.

I guess I'll never understand memes. Why do people flock to this junk, anyway? A lot of them are stupid, crude, and poorly done. They clutter up forum sites (like here on GBAtemp!) and people's websites. We need to de-meme the internet! There should be an uprising against these memes!

AGH! More memes! They're starting to clutter this post! Somebody stop the madness!!!


...Okay, now that I got that off my chest, I hope this post brightened your day.

 

[HarveyHouston]

Hey, no time, long see! Reread that phrase again to understand it!

...Ehh, forget it. It can't be understood. However, it's now time for another episode of "Harvey's Squeaky-Clean Thread Which Makes No Sense"!

Segmentation Fault (of the Brain)

So, I was just thinking today about how people think... or don't. Better yet, how they don't understand technology!

By the by, did ANYONE find that "Any Key"?!? How many of you guys were fooled by that joke? (raises hand)

It's interesting how, even with technology all around us in many different forms, we still have a hard time understanding basic concepts. For instance, there was a time when we would worry about the hard disk drive dying on us in our Wii Us, PlayStation 4s, and Xbox Ones. Fortunately, we can replace the hard disk in the Xbox and PlayStation, but what about the Wii U? How do you replace its hard drive?

...You really wanna know? Okay, I'll tell ya - THERE IS NO HARD DRIVE! I was sad to find that out myself when I electrocuted my Wii U's circuits. Hence why it's not replaceable.

Good rule of thumb is that if the storage can't be swapped out, or is about as small as your thumbnail, then it doesn't have a hard disk drive. Just sayin'.

Here's a thought: most owners of cell phones and smart phones don't think that they're computers. Yet, aren't they? These same people who say they don't own a computer have an electric toothbrush (with a computer chip in it), talk on their cell phone which they can take pictures and browse the web on (like a computer), brew a cup of single-serve coffee or tea via their Keurig brewer (which has a computer chip in it to tell the user when there's no water in the tank), watch movies on a TV that is most likely of the past thirty years (so therefore computerized), and some even own smart watches (which is a wrist-worn computer)! So when they say "I don't own a computer", they really mean that they don't own a laptop or desktop, but they're not taking into consideration that -

Yes, they do. In fact, they own several!
​

Pathetic. Absolutely incredible.

With kids now having to learn STEM classes, you would think the parents would want to be tech savvy for their kids, but interestingly enough, the older generations tend to learn about technology from the younger generations moreso than the absolute opposite!

So, my fellow gamer nerds who program in Python for a living, if you can understand this, then you probably don't know anything else but computers, and thus are ready for your brain to be uploaded to the global metaverse when the U.N. has it ready by tomorrow:

u rok bruh. keep bein derpy and hrth on! #nerdtalk #wysiwy(almost)g​

 

[Vila_]

Hey, no time, long see! Reread that phrase again to understand it!

...Ehh, forget it. It can't be understood. However, it's now time for another episode of "Harvey's Squeaky-Clean Thread Which Makes No Sense"!

Segmentation Fault (of the Brain)

So, I was just thinking today about how people think... or don't. Better yet, how they don't understand technology!

By the by, did ANYONE find that "Any Key"?!? How many of you guys were fooled by that joke? (raises hand)

It's interesting how, even with technology all around us in many different forms, we still have a hard time understanding basic concepts. For instance, there was a time when we would worry about the hard disk drive dying on us in our Wii Us, PlayStation 4s, and Xbox Ones. Fortunately, we can replace the hard disk in the Xbox and PlayStation, but what about the Wii U? How do you replace its hard drive?

...You really wanna know? Okay, I'll tell ya - THERE IS NO HARD DRIVE! I was sad to find that out myself when I electrocuted my Wii U's circuits. Hence why it's not replaceable.

Good rule of thumb is that if the storage can't be swapped out, or is about as small as your thumbnail, then it doesn't have a hard disk drive. Just sayin'.

Here's a thought: most owners of cell phones and smart phones don't think that they're computers. Yet, aren't they? These same people who say they don't own a computer have an electric toothbrush (with a computer chip in it), talk on their cell phone which they can take pictures and browse the web on (like a computer), brew a cup of single-serve coffee or tea via their Keurig brewer (which has a computer chip in it to tell the user when there's no water in the tank), watch movies on a TV that is most likely of the past thirty years (so therefore computerized), and some even own smart watches (which is a wrist-worn computer)! So when they say "I don't own a computer", they really mean that they don't own a laptop or desktop, but they're not taking into consideration that -

Yes, they do. In fact, they own several!
​

Pathetic. Absolutely incredible.

With kids now having to learn STEM classes, you would think the parents would want to be tech savvy for their kids, but interestingly enough, the older generations tend to learn about technology from the younger generations moreso than the absolute opposite!

So, my fellow gamer nerds who program in Python for a living, if you can understand this, then you probably don't know anything else but computers, and thus are ready for your brain to be uploaded to the global metaverse when the U.N. has it ready by tomorrow:

u rok bruh. keep bein derpy and hrth on! #nerdtalk #wysiwy(almost)g​

---

wait how do you do the cool titles?

---

like so:

 

[HarveyHouston]

wait how do you do the cool titles?

You mean these?

It is done with the BBCode header tags:

Plain header:
[h]Cool Header[/h]

For BOLD headers:
[h][b]Cool Bold Header[/b][/h]

EDIT: I noticed that you're using a tag that I haven't used before - the HR tag. So, let's see...

---

Interesting, it only produces a flat line...

 

[Vila_]

You mean these?

It is done with the BBCode header tags:

Plain header:
[h]Cool Header[/h]

For BOLD headers:
[h][b]Cool Bold Header[/b][/h]

EDIT: I noticed that you're using a tag that I haven't used before - the HR tag. So, let's see...

---

Interesting, it only produces a flat line...

oh yeah, as a semi-decent html programmer, I use <hr> tags quite a lot, there are also <br> tags that act like \n (meaning that they <br>ake the text)

Amazing thread btw, had a good chuckle

 

[Julie_Pilgrim]

this says a lot about the economic situation in sudan