Bortz's Free Advice Thread

[BORTZ]

Why do people think I'm black?

You arent blackanese?

This thread needs less conversation and more advice giving

Bortz, I was able to put out the flames with my tongue, but my feet are still nailed to the floor and I have a test in Physics tomorrow. How will I be able to pass my test?

DUDE i totally left you hanging! Im so sorry. Use the pen to start writing equations on the floor around you feet. While studying and covering the floor, start trying to lift your feet. Eventually, you will weaken the floors intergrity around your feet. You will be deep in study mode and everything. Your feet will tear up the floorboards and you can eventually want to class! And you will be all studied up ready to go.

bend over with your rear high high in the air

I have gotten free stuff at Target by doing that to a cashier that was hitting on me. I wonder he would have done if I took your advice

I am laughing and gagging at the same time.

 

[The Catboy]

I am laughing and gagging at the same time.

Don't judge me!

 

[Maxternal]

I think [member='nukeboy95'] and I can interpret this as a subtle instruction to do nothing ... seems fitting.

 

[BORTZ]

I'm about to get fired for spending too much time on GBATemp while at work. What do I do?

Sorry skipped you. Well. There are a few things you can do.
1. Stop GBAtemting at work.
2. Do it secretly. On your phone, in the bathroom... etc.
3. Be a retard and just keep doing it.
4. Go out with a bang, Get on your bosses computer and log into Gbatemp/porn and enjoy your boss's face. And unemployment.

 

[Maxternal]

#4 is sounding pretty good right now.

 

[chavosaur]

What is it about foreign exchange chicks that make them so sexy? And how do I resist the their temptation???

 

[Hyro-Sama]

I love how no one knows emigre's ethnicity. It's quite enthralling to watch you make poor guesses.

Anyway, I have a question.

How does one reach legendary status on GBATemp?

 

[nukeboy95]

Bortz's has bad Free Advice what do i do

 

[Flame]

@BortzANATOR dude you're in a happy relationship...... how? you dont seem like a douche D:

 

[emigre]

I love how no one knows emigre's ethnicity. It's quite enthralling to watch you make poor guesses.

I have posted a picture of myself on this site and people still think I'm black.

Poor me.

 

[Brian117]

Bortz: How would you deal with being socially awkward and always having feelings of hating everyone? I hate people and I avoid trying to talk with people. But sometimes they just talk to me. What should I do?

 

[Maxternal]

I love how no one knows emigre's ethnicity. It's quite enthralling to watch you make poor guesses.

I have posted a picture of myself on this site and people still think I'm black.
Poor me.

But the Tempter Pic thread is SOO LOONG. I'm only like half way through the stupid thing ... after weeks going at it.

It you're really worried about it, link it in your sig
(Even then, there will still be people that think [member='hyro-sama'] and [member='bortzanator'] actually wear a spiderman costumes all the time.)

 

[nukeboy95]

how do i go out side

 

[BORTZ]

What is it about foreign exchange chicks that make them so sexy? And how do I resist the their temptation???

Foreign exchange chicks are always hot for the following reasons.
1. Most foreign exchange girls are a combination of rich and intelligent. How do i know this? Because poor families cant afford to send their child abroad and only those intelligent enough to immerse themselves in another culture are the ones that get to go places.
2.If they are rich, there is a good chance their family's have them eating right, dieting, buying them the best makeup and clothes, as well as any plastic surgery should they require it.
3. There is usually a language barrier between you and hot thing number 1. So your usually tricks dont work or things you think wont, actually do. Or at least they are trying to be nice and get accepted by the general population.

How to resist it? Dude, dont even try. But just to be safe, check to see if they might have a foreign disease before going all heels to Jesus with her. Good question Chavos.

How does one reach legendary status on GBATemp?

Im guessing it has to do with your join date and post count. The longer ago you joined and the more posts you have, the more legendary you are. Now, your post quality also is a big factor. Make sure when you post its helping the community! Or get to 20,000 post without getting banned.

@BortzANATOR dude you're in a happy relationship...... how? you dont seem like a douche D:

Well...
Being a douche isnt gonna get you anywhere when it comes to girl honestly. But being a nice guy is gonna get you to finish last. Or, never.

Heres the skinny. Girls are a mystery. NOT.
You gotta get though a few things before you land a good one. First up:
Disspell the friend zone. Its an illusion. Its you not having the balls to order youself a glass of man the hell up and say something. And trust me, its a hard pint to finish. Ive been there. But you cant allow yourself to fall into that pit. You( i dont care what shes doing) YOU put yourself there, YOU get yourself out. Ballz up and arrange a time to tell her how you feel. And put it all out there and get ready to get hurt. Because sometime thats the only way to move on. I mean honestly your only kidding yourself and feeling sorry if you stay "with" her as she dancing with other guys.

2. Those douche bags who are "ALWAYS" banging the hottest chicks and shiz? You dont want to be one of them. They are never happy with themselves. And the girls they are with? Never ever happy. Even if they keep going back to them, they are never happy, and are never leading happy relationships. If theres a girl you want who is in one of those relationships? Move on man. Thats the trash she wants, and thats who she is. Which leads me to the last thing,

3.Dont ever try to change someone. Because you will be the one changed.

After all of that is over (you will probably have to learn these things with your own heart) you will be ready to give up on dating. I did. And thats where i found this keeper im with now.
Be yourself, dont make up shiz, she wont be impressed. She wants to see you. The real you. And it also helps if you find a girl who has learned a lesson or two from a Dbag and IS ready to move on. Show her kindness, love, and patiences. Tell her shes beautiful (and mean it), open doors for her, buy her dinner, AND DONT EXPECT SEX IN RETURN FOR ANYTHING. She is not your property and is not inclined to "reward" you for anything.

wow ranty tim is over haha

Bortz: How would you deal with being socially awkward and always having feelings of hating everyone? I hate people and I avoid trying to talk with people. But sometimes they just talk to me. What should I do?

So you dont like people and you dont want to talk to them?
You are going to need social skills someday for a job, or whatever. People are everywhere. Not everyone is terrible and hating everyone is hard.
Unfortunately i feel like your question is a serious one and i am on the other end of the social spectrum
If people come up to you and talk to you, try to be nice. Smile and ask them how they are doing. How they are feeling. I know this is hard, but at least pretend you care about them, even if you dont. Maybe try wiki how for this or a councilor. Im sorry i cant be more helpful bud

 

[Brian117]

Bortz: How would you deal with being socially awkward and always having feelings of hating everyone? I hate people and I avoid trying to talk with people. But sometimes they just talk to me. What should I do?

So you dont like people and you dont want to talk to them?
You are going to need social skills someday for a job, or whatever. People are everywhere. Not everyone is terrible and hating everyone is hard.
Unfortunately i feel like your question is a serious one and i am on the other end of the social spectrum
If people come up to you and talk to you, try to be nice. Smile and ask them how they are doing. How they are feeling. I know this is hard, but at least pretend you care about them, even if you dont. Maybe try wiki how for this or a councilor. Im sorry i cant be more helpful bud

Thanks Bortz. What if I have self-esteem issues and I think I'm ugly all the time and hate when people look at me because in my mind I think about them thinking to themselves that I'm ugly. What should I do? I have a lot of self-esteem problems but meh. I just feel whenever someone who I don't want to talk to, talks to me and during the conversation they say to themselves "wow this guy is ugly, he won't go far in life". Is there a way to prevent these thoughts and learn to not give a fuck anymore?

 

[Maxternal]

them thinking to themselves that I'm ugly.

*looks up temper pic*

Dude, so not true. I see nothing wrong with how you look and see absolutely no reason why anyone else would think that either.
(If that happens to go through anyone's mind while talking to you I can bet you that they think that about EVERYONE they see so you can let them drown in their own personal problems ... other than those stuffed up jerks NO ONE would look at you and think that.)

As far as girls thinking you're cute or something ... I'm a straight guy and I guess I'm not the best judge but seeing some chick hanging off your arm is no stretch of my imagination. (Of course, I've seen guys that actually ARE ugly ... really ugly ... have some pretty nice girlfriends so, again, maybe not the best judge ... or maybe it just doesn't matter. I'm married and I still don't completely understand girls.)

 

[Brian117]

them thinking to themselves that I'm ugly.

*looks up temper pic*

Dude, so not true. I see nothing wrong with how you look and see absolutely no reason why anyone else would think that either.
(If that happens to go through anyone's mind while talking to you I can bet you that they think that about EVERYONE they see so you can let them drown in their own personal problems ... other than those stuffed up jerks NO ONE would look at you and think that.)

As far as girls thinking you're cute or something ... I'm a straight guy and I guess I'm not the best judge but seeing some chick hanging off your arm is no stretch of my imagination. (Of course, I've seen guys that actually ARE ugly ... really ugly ... have some pretty nice girlfriends so, again, maybe not the best judge ... or maybe it just doesn't matter. I'm married and I still don't completely understand girls.)

Thanks Maxternal. I honestly did not expect a reply from you but that was really nice. I'm being completely true with these questions if anybody thinks I'm joking since this is the EOF.

About the girls...I'm not interested in them lets just put it at that. No girls have ever tried hitting on me in my life, which is a somewhat...good and bad thing. Good because I don't have to tell them I don't like them, and bad because it makes me feel unattractive in a way. Doesn't every guy want to be hit on? Shows them they're wanted by at least 1 person. Ah well.

Thanks for the kind words.

 

[Maxternal]

About the girls...I'm not interested in them lets just put it at that. No girls have ever tried hitting on me in my life, which is a somewhat...good and bad thing. Good because I don't have to tell them I don't like them, and bad because it makes me feel unattractive in a way. Doesn't every guy want to be hit on? Shows them they're wanted by at least 1 person. Ah well.

You're welcome.
Anyway, kinda seems to me that girls usually just wait for guys to go after them (which kinda sucks for those of us that are interested ... oh well) Seems to me it takes a rather confident girl and a really good looking guy for a girl to actually go out of her way to hit on him, and even then, the guy has to do the extra effort to look nice (we usually can't wear makeup or anything but hair and clothes and general hygiene just kinda show the girl you want to be noticed as well) and even then, you have to be in the right place and the right time. I'm guessing that if you haven't been too confident about you're looks you'd kinda avoid the situations that happen to also be those where the "hitting on" would take place so don't worry about it not having happened.

anyway, I kinda got type-happy there
/rant

I'll let [member='bortzanator'] have his thread back now.

 

[Flame]

now I know.

 

[BORTZ]

Bortz: How would you deal with being socially awkward and always having feelings of hating everyone? I hate people and I avoid trying to talk with people. But sometimes they just talk to me. What should I do?

So you dont like people and you dont want to talk to them?
You are going to need social skills someday for a job, or whatever. People are everywhere. Not everyone is terrible and hating everyone is hard.
Unfortunately i feel like your question is a serious one and i am on the other end of the social spectrum
If people come up to you and talk to you, try to be nice. Smile and ask them how they are doing. How they are feeling. I know this is hard, but at least pretend you care about them, even if you dont. Maybe try wiki how for this or a councilor. Im sorry i cant be more helpful bud

Thanks Bortz. What if I have self-esteem issues and I think I'm ugly all the time and hate when people look at me because in my mind I think about them thinking to themselves that I'm ugly. What should I do? I have a lot of self-esteem problems but meh. I just feel whenever someone who I don't want to talk to, talks to me and during the conversation they say to themselves "wow this guy is ugly, he won't go far in life". Is there a way to prevent these thoughts and learn to not give a fuck anymore?

@[member='Maxternal']
Wow dude. Good words. Thanks for that.*applauds*
I think you might have really helped Penis117 Brian117.

Ok dude. I might be able to help a little bit. Self esteem is a wash lol If you want to socially advance anywhere, you are going to have to stop living in your own fears and thoughts. You own self esteem is only going to get your down. But you cant rely on what others think of you either. You have to find somewhere else to get your validation. I suggest forgetting about self esteem and just try living.


*looks at temper pic* ok so im a straight man, but come on. A guy can still tell when another male is attractive. you my friend are FAR from unfortunate looking. Just because you "think" you are ugly does not make you ugly. And you are not ugly. lol

I would say this: Stop giving a fuck what you think others think about you. Beacuse that isnt going to help you. You are your own worst critic. Try living for someone else.
>Make someone smile once a day. Maybe start by looking into a mirror and telling yourself its gonna be a good day.Maybe the person you make smile that day is you. But soon, move on and make someone else smile that day.
>Hold the door for someone
>Pay for someone in a resteraunt or behind you in line at the drive thru.

Happiness is a fleeting emotion. But the joy that you get from these things last forever.

now I know.

I hope i actually help you man, i really do.