Bortz's Free Advice Thread

[Maxternal]

I'm about to get fired for spending too much time on GBATemp while at work. What do I do?

 

[nukeboy95]

i made a nuclear bomb and set the timer

how do i stop it (you got 7 years)

 

[Flame]

i plan of banging all the chicks that which i am not related too.

im a 10/10 in looks and a big douche bag, so i got that going. i treat woman like shit.

any advice so i can bang more.

 

[Cyan]

I have a problem.
Please help me with it:

Spoiler

What's that actor's name you totally look alike? Please, read my mind

How to get a girlfriend without going out?
Did you knew France has meetic-like website specialized for geeks? lol
But I'm a cheap bastard and don't want to pay to browse these kind of non serious website's profiles.

 

[nryn99]

okay, i made a thread to promote myself. what improvements does it need?

 

[nukeboy95]

i juust got a new laptop and it is canadian and im not what do i do

 

[Black-Ice]

BORTZY
HOW CAN I BE AS AWESHOME AS YOU?

 

[DoubleeDee]

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

 

[Guild McCommunist]

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

Get out. Best advice anyone will give you here.

 

[DoubleeDee]

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

Get out. Best advice anyone will give you here.

That was horrible advice.
Lets all be serious for once.

 

[nukeboy95]

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

well best thing for that is to end it


become a better person

 

[emigre]

Why do people think I'm black?

 

[DoubleeDee]

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

well best thing for that is to end it


become a better person

Ive tried.
But people live in the past.

 

[nukeboy95]

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

well best thing for that is to end it


become a better person

Ive tried.
But people live in the past.

tip dont live in past

 

[Black-Ice]

tip dont live in past

LOL try getting gbatemp to live in the future
You'll die trying

 

[Maxternal]

Why do people think I'm black?

Same reason people think [member='DoubleeDee']'s a girl, thoughtless first impressions. (Avatar.)

EDIT : Were you asking for advice about this then?

 

[Terminator02]

This thread needs less conversation and more advice giving

Bortz, I was able to put out the flames with my tongue, but my feet are still nailed to the floor and I have a test in Physics tomorrow. How will I be able to pass my test?

 

[BORTZ]

Is there a way to help me become even cuter than I already am?
I am pretty damn adorable, but I think I need to amp it up a bit.

Thats easy. I would suggest getting eye lash extensions. Work on your cute eyes. Keep up to date with the latest fashion trends. Oh! Make sure to work on your "bend and snap". Practice by dropping something, bend over with your rear high high in the air, and SNAP back up

I'm about to get fired for spending too much time on GBATemp while at work. What do I do?

i made a nuclear bomb and set the timer

how do i stop it (you got 7 years)

Psh take the 1776 american politics look at it. come back in 5 year and we will discuss it.

i plan of banging all the chicks that which i am not related too.

im a 10/10 in looks and a big douche bag, so i got that going. i treat woman like shit.

any advice so i can bang more.

I actually dont think you need much more advice. Most chicks love douches from douchville. And by most, I mean 100% of girls love ripped dudes who treat them like dirt. Thats how they like it. Just remember the 3 rules, treat girls like doors.
1. Tap it
2. Twist it
3.Shut it out of your life.
oh and

I have a problem.
Please help me with it:

Spoiler

What's that actor's name you totally look alike? Please, read my mind

How to get a girlfriend without going out?
Did you knew France has meetic-like website specialized for geeks? lol
But I'm a cheap bastard and don't want to pay to browse these kind of non serious website's profiles.

Haha im not Sean Spencer from Psych if thats what youre meaning.
Girls are usually found outside. So thats kinda a problem if you are looking for one without leaving home.
My best guess is to join a video uh site. or something where chicks dance on webcams. Or a cheap (free) eHarmony knock off site. Maybe.

okay, i made a thread to promote myself. what improvements does it need?

Boost your ego and inflate it the same way you use that penis pump and smear your ji- uh opinions around, dont sound like a child and be cool.
Also post in your thread and put a link in your sig.

i juust got a new laptop and it is canadian and im not what do i do

BORTZY
HOW CAN I BE AS AWESHOME AS YOU?

Its actually not that hard. Just stay out of trouble, dont stir up any. Even if someone starts crap with you, dont fight back. Flamewars and fanboyism wont get you anywhere. Id say you are well on your way.
And dont compare yourself to me. Im not even that cool. Im 22 and i live with my parents lol. You can be so much more than i could ever be.

Everyone hates me.
I need advice.

Get out. Best advice anyone will give you here.

Look at McGuild doing my job for me. And a pretty good one at that. Maybe i can retire early.
Im gonna go into srs mode here.

[SrsModeEngage]
Ok dude. Lets take a look.
41 active posts
409 posts in the EoF

ook. well. At this point we will take a look at the EoF guide.

Be a useful member to this community!
Honestly. Stop posting in here so much. If your EoF post count exceeds your actual post count, You are like a busted condom. You are a drain on this society. Even if you are a lurker, get out and lurk moar. Post every once and a while. Give back to this forum. We value our members, and our community here. And out community here is only as good as its members. If all our members are good for are making really shitty joke topics, we might as well be 9gag.

There is your answer dude. Honestly, people arent gonna like you if you keep making sitting joke topics. Wrath of DD isnt gonna make anyone like you. You have ONE ribbon. You dont understand how this community works, so become part of it. THEN someday, someone might pick up on your humor.
[SrsModeDisengage]

 

[The Catboy]

bend over with your rear high high in the air

I have gotten free stuff at Target by doing that to a cashier that was hitting on me. I wonder he would have done if I took your advice

 

[Terminator02]

Bortz I need your advice still