i'm not sure but in situations where people usually is sad, i don't feel the same, i can still laugh even though people around me doesn't
like...
#1 waaaay back, when i was younger, my cousin died a few months after she was born, everybody else was cying, i didn't, i feel like it was nothing.
#2 a few years before, a very close friend died because of leukemia, and when me and my friends saw her corpse, they cried, but me? it feels like it was just a piece of something, i don't feel like i lost something very dear to me.
#3 every time i see an car accident, a bombing incident, or flood, i don't pity the people involved, instead i am amazed of how much the car is destroyed, or how big the explosion is, or how many houses the flood destroyed.
#4 my "ninang"(as we call it here) or godmother (i guess this is the translation) is in an almost dying state, and just last night we took her to the hospital because she can't breathe, while i was looking at her, i didn't feel anything, no pity, instead i wanted to look for a television to watch my favorite show. and to think she cared for me when i was young, and she was there whenever i needed something.
#5 whenever i see in the news a girl was raped... suddenly i imagine how she was raped, as if i'm doing it.
the only time i cried for the past 5 years, from most recent
#1 when my flash disk broke and i have important files in it,(NO PORN)
#2 my gf before my last broke up with me, that was really very sad moment, cried right at the spot
however, the day after these 2 events i feel okay again like it never happened, all i need was sleep and poof.
and also most of the time... i am smiling i hate being angry, makes me wanna punch myself, it hurts doing it though
like...
#1 waaaay back, when i was younger, my cousin died a few months after she was born, everybody else was cying, i didn't, i feel like it was nothing.
#2 a few years before, a very close friend died because of leukemia, and when me and my friends saw her corpse, they cried, but me? it feels like it was just a piece of something, i don't feel like i lost something very dear to me.
#3 every time i see an car accident, a bombing incident, or flood, i don't pity the people involved, instead i am amazed of how much the car is destroyed, or how big the explosion is, or how many houses the flood destroyed.
#4 my "ninang"(as we call it here) or godmother (i guess this is the translation) is in an almost dying state, and just last night we took her to the hospital because she can't breathe, while i was looking at her, i didn't feel anything, no pity, instead i wanted to look for a television to watch my favorite show. and to think she cared for me when i was young, and she was there whenever i needed something.
#5 whenever i see in the news a girl was raped... suddenly i imagine how she was raped, as if i'm doing it.
the only time i cried for the past 5 years, from most recent
#1 when my flash disk broke and i have important files in it,(NO PORN)
#2 my gf before my last broke up with me, that was really very sad moment, cried right at the spot
however, the day after these 2 events i feel okay again like it never happened, all i need was sleep and poof.
and also most of the time... i am smiling i hate being angry, makes me wanna punch myself, it hurts doing it though