How do you feel about the phrase "I'll pray for you"?

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

This is a debate I've seen floating around the internet and I was wondering you guys' take on it. How do you feel about religious people telling non-religious people that they will pray for them? I've seen some people get annoyed saying, "why don't they actually do something to help?" and others defend the saying by suggesting that, "If they are willing to appease to, what is in their mind, the highest power, then they are doing the most they can. The kindness is real." Now it's no secret that I fall under the "religious" category but I can see both sides of the coin. Personally, I'm challenging myself to offer prayer alongside whatever I can do to help physically, as not to seem like I'm providing empty words. How do you feel when someone says they'll pray for you? Following that question, what steps can people like myself take in order to make sure that you know we're doing everything we can? I KNOW I don't need to say this because everyone maintains themselves excellently and the never get carried away

but keep it civil.

Jayro · Feb 19, 2018

It lets me down inside, knowing they don't give a shit about me enough to ACTUALLY help me, where prayer is just whispered words into thin air with their eyes closed, literally of no practical use or help.

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

Jayro said:
It lets me down inside, knowing they don't give a shit about me enough to ACTUALLY help me, where prayer is just whispered words into thin air with their eyes closed, literally of no practical use or help.

In the same way you feel let down, it makes my heart drop to hear this. I can't argue with you because there are people who say that as a "cop out", which sucks because people like that shouldnt represent us as a whole. That's why I'm taking steps to try to, how you say, actually help people, as well as pray for them asymmetrically. What could people like myself do to make sure you know that we've done everything in our ability to help?

dimmidice · Feb 19, 2018

Useless statement. Might as well say "i'll let out a fart for you". The fart might be more helpful actually.

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

dimmidice said:
Useless statement. Might as well say "i'll let out a fart for you". The fart might be more helpful actually.

*Refer to my previous reply, specifically the question at the end*

Jayro · Feb 19, 2018

Nerdtendo said:
In the same way you feel let down, it makes my heart drop to hear this. I can't argue with you because there are people who say that as a "cop out", which sucks because people like that shouldnt represent us as a whole. That's why I'm taking steps to try to, how you say, actually help people, as well as pray for them asymmetrically. What could people like myself do to make sure you know that we've done everything in our ability to help?

Well like, Haiti for example... Changing your profile pic to the Haitian flag with the words "Your thoughts and prayers are with us always" does absolutely NOTHING to help their crisis. Truly helping them would be going there to volunteer rebuilding efforts, or at the very least donating food and clothes to *actually* help them. I hope that makes sense. I'm not religious in any sense, so I like to see real results instead of whispered words to some Galactic sky fairy that narcissistically hates and loves us.

TotalInsanity4 · Feb 19, 2018

It depends entirely on intent, and whether or not there's something more proactive the person could be doing

dimmidice · Feb 19, 2018

Nerdtendo said:
*Refer to my previous reply, specifically the question at the end*

No thanks, you asked a question in your OP. Expect answers. You can't just go and refer everyone to replies you made.
Praying is completely and utterly useless. It does not do anything whatsoever. Telling someone who isn't religious "i'll pray for you" is just condescending and likely to piss them off. It's like saying "i'll think of you" "i'll think of the problems you have while doing absolutely nothing about them but hey please be grateful to me because i'm thinking of you" It makes it about you. Not them.

Xzi · Feb 19, 2018

At worst, religious people will sometimes say this as an insult, or in an insulting tone. Like bitch, your prayers do nothing for me. I don't attend your church group and I didn't ask for your prayers.

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

Jayro said:
Well like, Haiti for example... Changing your profile pic to the Haitian flag with the words "Your thoughts and prayers are with us always" does absolutely NOTHING to help their crisis. Truly helping them would be going there to volunteer rebuilding efforts, or at the very least donating food and clothes to *actually* help them. I hope that makes sense. I'm not religious in any sense, so I like to see real results instead of whispered words to some Galactic sky fairy that narcissistically hates and loves us.

Thank you for your input. I do agree that the profile pic thing seems incredibly tacky and heartless. I will try my best to contribute whatever I can to those in need.

dimmidice said:
No thanks, you asked a question in your OP. Expect answers. You can't just go and refer everyone to replies you made.
Praying is completely and utterly useless. It does not do anything whatsoever. Telling someone who isn't religious "i'll pray for you" is just condescending and likely to piss them off. It's like saying "i'll think of you" "i'll think of the problems you have while doing absolutely nothing about them but hey please be grateful to me because i'm thinking of you" It makes it about you. Not them.

I apologize for any offense. I'll edit OP to ask both questions. I suppose I should have done so in the first place.

Byokugen · Feb 19, 2018

It's a nicer wqy than saying I don't give aa fuck.
No one actually prays...

Jayro · Feb 19, 2018

I think as long as you're sincere in your efforts, those words could go a long way for people. Sometimes it's exactly what they need to hear to help them along.

(It's just not for me.)

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

Byokugen said:
No one actually prays...

Unless of course, me and my friends and my family and my church count as nobody.... which is very possible.

Xzi · Feb 19, 2018

I remember reading an article some years ago about a study where they compared two groups of hospital patients, one which was prayed for and one which wasn't. The one which was prayed for had more deaths and longer sicknesses, which I thought was pretty funny.

The movie Dogma was legit doe.

Edgarska · Feb 19, 2018

It's not only useless, telling someone you'll be praying for them goes against the teachings of jesus if you're christian. Announcing your prayers is something he disliked, if I remember correctly.

If you really want to pray for someone, it's best to do it silently without telling them, it's better for everyone involved, unless they're religious too.

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

Xzi said:
I remember reading an article some years ago about a study where they compared two groups of hospital patients, one which was prayed for and one which wasn't. The one which was prayed for had more deaths and longer sicknesses, which I thought was pretty funny.

The movie Dogma was legit doe.

Interesting. I'd like to read the full article for all the details but it's probably hidden pretty deep in the internet. From a Christian viewpoint, a test like that falls under the "putting the Lord your God to the test" which is what is considered a "sin". That would explain why it either had no effect (one was bound to fare differently from the other) or God's hand was against the test.

Xzi · Feb 19, 2018

Nerdtendo said:
Interesting. I'd like to read the full article for all the details but it's probably hidden pretty deep in the internet. From a Christian viewpoint, a test like that falls under the "putting the Lord your God to the test" which is what is considered a "sin". That would explain why it either had no effect (one was bound to fare differently from the other) or God's hand was against the test.

I don't think the prayers caused a negative effect, I think they caused no effect and the patients were a toss-up to begin with.

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

Edgarska said:
It's not only useless, telling someone you'll be praying for them goes against the teachings of jesus if you're christian. Announcing your prayers is something he disliked, if I remember correctly.

If you really want to pray for someone, it's best to do it silently without telling them, it's better for everyone involved, unless they're religious too.

Context comes into play here. Jesus said to avoid pridefully/boastfully praying in the streets or the "synagogues" as the Pharisees did. He wanted to make sure that people prayed for the right purposes. Praying for someone and informing them that you are doing so isn't (shouldn't) be for a boast. It is used to show love and care for said person, and Jesus' greatest commandment was love.

Edgarska · Feb 19, 2018

Nerdtendo said:
Context comes into play here. Jesus said to avoid pridefully/boastfully praying in the streets or the "synagogues" as the Pharisees did. He wanted to make sure that people prayed for the right purposes. Praying for someone and informing them that you are doing so isn't (shouldn't) be for a boast. It is used to show love and care for said person, and Jesus' greatest commandment was love.

Yes, and if someone I love needs help I actually try to help them.

Nerdtendo · Feb 19, 2018

Edgarska said:
Yes, and if someone I love needs help I actually try to help them.

Which again, is what I am making an effort to do.

How do you feel about the phrase "I'll pray for you"?

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