How to build self confidence?

[jDSX]

My superior (manager) say its to interact more with people. Anything else? I understand the first step is always hard but you know..

What is the best way to build self confidence?

 

[Viri]

Hit the gym and interact with people

 

[2Hack]

Dress better
Work out, become comfortable with your body. This way, you are less likely to be worried about what ppl think about you physically.

You need to love yourself. Love who you are. This is something I struggle with but yeah. If I liked myself, I'd be much more confident with myself.

Talk to ppl. Work with ppl. Working at timmies as my first job, I became much more confident, and started to know how to respond. There are a lot of routine Q&A interactions you face, and it helps knowing what to say, and how to say it.

 

[FAST6191]

Your manager wants you to build self confidence? What would make them say that? Most times I meet managers saying that it is because they want more slimy sales types, though it could be genuine.

Anyway do you view your self confidence as particularly low? What would you consider self confident traits to be and what do you consider any traits you have that would speak to a lack of self confidence?

 

[jDSX]

Your manager wants you to build self confidence? What would make them say that? Most times I meet managers saying that it is because they want more slimy sales types, though it could be genuine.

Anyway do you view your self confidence as particularly low? What would you consider self confident traits to be and what do you consider any traits you have that would speak to a lack of self confidence?

Yes, mainly because I feel like I need to feel people out more before I open up to them therefore, I stay quiet and reserved, sometimes too much and my co-workers know this but not the management they want me to be someone I am not.

 

[FAST6191]

That might be a mischaracterisation then; personally some of my favourite people don't tend to open up for just anybody, and at the same time I would never say lack self confidence. Though for work purposes that means they almost have a separate personality/persona, something I find amusing if I get dragged in to help them out and they have a reputation there as a hard arse. A lot of management types would then view people that do not immediately open up to new people and enjoy the experience as a lack of self confidence when in reality you are just quiet. For certain jobs that may be a bad thing -- I mentioned sales earlier and a fundamental thing there is upselling (figuring out how expensive a widget you can sell someone compared to what they started out at), however I find it horribly distasteful and will instead try to figure out what the person needs to accomplish the tasks they want to do and might need to in the near/future/during the product's lifetime. In that situation I would probably try to find a new job that such a thing does not matter for (though I have no idea what your difficulty in doing that might be). You can get around this if you want -- for all I said about not upselling if I am doing penetration testing or some social engineering or something I will be a smarmy liar to the extent that the politician sitting opposite me filling out a time sheet wearing a cheap watch will say "son, how about you cool it over there".

A lack of self confidence would be more thinking/acting like you are not worth the effort, constant self doubt beyond a healthy level (don't be the sort of person that wins a Darwin award) and can not engage almost at all with people they do not know. Not wishing to deal with time wasters, overly needy people or feeling the need to share with total strangers is not that.

 

[mgrev]

do things you like. play games with your mic on

 

[WeedZ]

You know how you have those moments of self doubt, things you think are flaws about yourself that might hold you back? Or those moments when you dwell on something embarrassing that you may have said or done in the past? Well, those things are out of your control, and giving any thought to them is waste of mental effort and only holds you back. So fuck it.

A friend of mine once told me you have to create an imaginary place in your mind, like a void, or as he called it, the fuck it box. Take the things you can't change or control and all the worry of other people's perceptions and put them in that box to never be touched again.

Might sound crazy, but I thought it was insightful.

 

[2Hack]

You know how you have those moments of self doubt, things you think are flaws about yourself that might hold you back? Or those moments when you dwell on something embarrassing that you may have said or done in the past? Well, those things are out of your control, and giving any thought to them is waste of mental effort and only holds you back. So fuck it.

A friend of mine once told me you have to create an imaginary place in your mind, like a void, or as he called it, the fuck it box. Take the things you can't change or control and all the worry of other people's perceptions and put them in that box to never be touched again.

Might sound crazy, but I thought it was insightful.

Yeah this is a good one. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Do everything with confidence, and no one will question it.

 

[Aether Lion]

play games with your mic on

I second this.
-------------------------
Seriously though...
I'm gay, I built self confidence by going to a teenage LGBT center every Wednesday. It was a pleasant thing for me. It helped put me in a place of people I can relate to. It helped me outside of that center, too. I was able to just walk up to strangers and start conversation! I became more social! I recommend joining a group of like minded people. (I dunno, for you that might be something like an in-person form of GBATemp but that might actually be overwhelming as fuck.)
Whatever group it may be (BDSM, eh?), join a group of people like YOU! It'll make you a much more content person. This place has to be a physical place, it can't be digital. It won't be near as effective.

 

[Deleted User]

Making small talk with strangers

Spending a few minutes a day with your hands on your hips (this actually does affect your body's chemistry)

Listening to songs that make you feel confident

Doing stuff you're afraid of

Take up a martial arts class

 

[Xenon Hacks]

Chug an entire bottle of jack before heading into work.

 

[Aether Lion]

Chug an entire bottle of jack before heading into work.

I mean you could do this, and then you wouldn't need to do what anyone else said to, you'd be confident as fuck.

 

[WeedZ]

Chug an entire bottle of jack before heading into work.

Don't forget to chew alot of gum

 

[WeedZ]

The joke: when you drink, you smell of alchohol. Employers don't like that. Gum masks alchohol breath. Employers don't know your drunk.

 

[Aether Lion]

The joke: when you drink, you smell of alchohol. Employers don't like that. Gum masks alchohol breath. Employers don't know your drunk.

Ahhhh, very good call! I was just thinking of chewing Double Bubble or something (it doesn't smell strong).

 

[DinohScene]

Find something to complain about that relates to everyone.
Seems to work perfectly fine~

 

[appleburger]

Here's the thing: self confidence comes from you. You can get advice from all of us, but that's going to all reflect what builds our own self confidence.

For many people though, getting into shape physically massively improves self confidence, at least for a while. Reserved types don't do well with gyms, though - it's intimidating, so here's what I suggest:

Start simple. Read up on some forums on what others have done to get into shape. It's FAR, FAR easier than most people make it. Start with small goals. Cut sodas for two weeks. Weigh yourself once a week. Take photos in the mirror to see your progress. Go for a walk or do pushups and crunches for 15 minutes, three times a week. Stuff like that.

Be a sponge - take in all the information you can online about fitness via youtube, forums, subreddits, etc. See what hairstyle works for you (if you don't already have one) by the same method. See what clothing style could suit you.

You have to work on you. If you educate yourself, and set tiny, achievable goals you will start to feel very good on a daily basis.


A lot of us go through a process similar to this at some point.

 

[VinsCool]

Doing stuff you're afraid of

Especially this.
That helped me alot to interract with people.

 

[Mollycule]

The real key is to prove self survival, that you can actually keep yourself alive wherever you may be.