When friends cross the "friend zone"

[Chaz.]

Wait til you're with her, then see how you feel talking to her and being with her before you try anything flirty

 

[Deleted member 473940]

Looks like your wish came true emigre
dramatic events !

 

[emigre]

I highly recommend homosexuality as a remedy to the problems in your life.

Saying that, it depresses me greatly you get a fucking harem.

 

[Zerosuit connor]

Don't let yourself get locked into the friendzone. Does she have a boyfriend? I had a best friend and she was amazing and we talked everyday and texted each other all day too. We recently started dating and I'm happier than ive ever been. Personally I see no need for le sex as it can fuck things up. Just go with the flow

 

[gokujr1000]

GBATemp must be the only video game forum available where you are able to read about a DeadPool Game and then click one link which takes you to a forum topic where everyone is giving relationship advice.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

A lot of sarcastic comments really. But I still stick to temp for support when it comes to relationships and all that .

It was AMAZING with her, even though I was stressed and upset about other things. She smiled and laughed the whole time we spent together.
She asked me at the end, "what are we than".
To which I havent given her a answer to...

 

[Zerosuit connor]

A lot of sarcastic comments really. But I still stick to temp for support when it comes to relationships and all that .

It was AMAZING with her, even though I was stressed and upset about other things. She smiled and laughed the whole time we spent together.
She asked me at the end, "what are we than".
To which I havent given her a answer to...

More than friends?!!!

 

[MelodieOctavia]

Whatever you're planning on doing, don't. If you consider her a good friend, keep it that way and find something else. There is nothing good that can come of dating a good friend, besides a broken friendship.

Please believe me, I have seen it before. Some people think they can get past the whole "friend chasm"...Let me show you the result of your attempt. A metaphorical YouTube video should help explain my point further.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lhOLJ-Qqkc


Listen. Feel free to so what you feel is right, and I'm all for telling you to follow your heart, but at this moment, at this point in your life, your heart is wrong.

 

[RchUncleSkeleton]

I have to disagree with TwinRetro. Though often times friendships that turn into romantic relationships don't work out, it can turn out to be the best thing you've ever done. That said, don't rush into anything and make sure you're both on the same page before you decide to take it to the next level. Sometimes people just don't remain friends whether it involves romance or not and I wouldn't hold back something for fear of losing her as a friend.

 

[gamefan5]

Whatever you're planning on doing, don't. If you consider her a good friend, keep it that way and find something else. There is nothing good that can come of dating a good friend, besides a broken friendship.

Please believe me, I have seen it before. Some people think they can get past the whole "friend chasm"...Let me show you the result of your attempt. A metaphorical YouTube video should help explain my point further.




Listen. Feel free to so what you feel is right, and I'm all for telling you to follow your heart, but at this moment, at this point in your life, your heart is wrong.

Actually, it's a big... risk.
Chevosaur is right when he says that dating a girl you know for so long makes you bond with her way more easily. And it makes relationships stronger.
BUT there's a risk in it.
If you break up with her the 'right' way, you'll still have the friendship with her.
Do it wrong, and it could end up being the biggest mistake of your life.
Love is so... fragile and complicated. LOL

 

[Sicklyboy]

A lot of sarcastic comments really. But I still stick to temp for support when it comes to relationships and all that .

It was AMAZING with her, even though I was stressed and upset about other things. She smiled and laughed the whole time we spent together.
She asked me at the end, "what are we than".
To which I havent given her a answer to...

To that I would reply, at this point, "I guess we'll have to see as we go." or something of the sort. I never find it easy to just outright say "OH YES WE ARE NOW A COUPLE".

My girlfriend and I knew we wanted to be a couple when we went on our first date - she told me she really liked me, I told her I really liked her, and without saying "Yes, we are dating now" we knew.

What I say is to give it time and be yourself. If something is to come of it, then through the course of the relationship it'll happen. If not, you won't feel like you wasted all of that effort to try to make something happen. Personally, I would ask her on another date within the next few days/weeks. Do that a few times, and I think by that point, both of you will have the answer to the question.

Edit - granted, I never had to cross the friendzone with my girlfriend. We work together, she was a lot newer than I, but we hit it off and two weeks later we went out for dinner. But I think that some, if not most of the same principals still apply - the only thing extra that you're risking is the possibility for a marred friendship. I had two girlfriends in high school (at different times, mind you!). The first, she was one of my best friends for a year or two, we got closer and closer, then I asked her out. Went okay for four months, then ended; I couldn't bear to talk to her for the first month, then I got over myself and we're back to being friends (we just never see each other). The second, we dated for a week a few years ago, broke up, then a year after that we started talking again and I asked her out. Almost two years and two breakups after that, I don't even want to breathe the same air as her if at all possible for more than two minutes. And now she pulls all of this facebook shit how "I used to think you were great but now I see you treated me like crap". It's comical, really, considering I go out of my way to be as nice and polite as I possibly could be. I think she actually didn't like that, LOL.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

Wow, didnt expect to get "non-sarcastic" comments and advice jk.

Well, I decided to screw the whole idea. I learnt a lot out of this situation though. Not about her and me, but "about myself".
We havent been speaking for a few days because of work, but that doesnt mean we coudnt talk I am just having a bit of time for myself.

Like I said, the difference between "friend" and "girlfriend" and how I treat the difference got me by surprise. I have been thinking about that deeply... I dont think I am ready for a relationship till I sort myself out. I need to "grow balls and grow up" so to say.. thats just partially how I see it.

 

[Sicklyboy]

My "grow balls and grow up" time has actually been through the few different relationships that I've been in. It's taught me more and more.

But I'm glad that somehow, it all worked out for you man, relationship or not. Never know when you're gonna find the next person, and that's just what ya gotta think about.

 

[Deleted member 473940]

My "grow balls and grow up" time has actually been through the few different relationships that I've been in. It's taught me more and more.

But I'm glad that somehow, it all worked out for you man, relationship or not. Never know when you're gonna find the next person, and that's just what ya gotta think about.

thanks man

Each of my past relationships taught me ONE THING at least.
But this "friend" and "more than that" difference opened my eyes really. I can be myself when I am friends with someone. But in a relationship, I am a commited person. But just cant be myself.. its like I am lost. Being "fake" and not sure what I am doing. Too focused on the relationship itself. Gotta change that and I dont see it changing so easily. Thats why I said I need to grow up and grow balls lol.