Gaming Zero Punctuation: Skyward Sword

indask8

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You can view it here.

Despite all the "haters" of Yahtzee around here, he still makes funny and rather "sad but true" video reviews. His most recent one Zelda is a bit off the beaten path from most critics to say the list. Here's a list of his criticisms:
  1. Despite graphical changes, Zelda games have essentially been the same for the last 15 years.
  2. Recent Nintendo games like Kirby's Epic Yarn and New Super Mario Bros. Wii have mostly avoided motion controls while Skyward Sword "bashes you over the head with the Wiimote and say 'REMEMBER THIS!'" (It was a funny quote)
  3. Almost every enemy in the game has a directional blocking ability...
  4. Which would be fine if it weren't for the control delay, which often leads you hitting an enemy's defenses (which end up punishing you in turn).
  5. Flying controls are horrid
  6. Zelda has a personality but little of it
  7. Not related to Skyward Sword, but generally Zelda has no personality and is already a princess or loses all personality when she discovers she's a princess
  8. How come Skyloft is conceals the ground below in great clouds but when you're on the surface it's bright as day with clear skies around? Not a criticism really, just more of a funny plot hole
  9. Fi is a terrible assist character. She points out the obvious in "spurious rigor" constantly, and the slow text speed makes it worse.
  10. The harp sections are uninteresting and boring, involving little more than just waving your hand.
  11. Wind Waker had a large, open world to explore, while Skyward Sword is a lot smaller. Skyloft is basically the main island where you shop and tons of floating rocks with nothing but chests that you have to go to the "underworld" areas to open.
  12. Additionally, these can only be opened by going to the "designated questing areas", so exploration is basically gone. And there's only three of them.
  13. All the characters seem uninterested in the plot of the game.
  14. They copy/paste the same boss fight three times. Additionally, two of the dungeons end with the same boss fight that doesn't even involve using the item(s) you've just obtained.
  15. The pirate ship area, however, is good.
  16. Overall: Skyward Sword is the worst Zelda game he's ever played in comparison.
So, do you think these are valid criticisms?

1: Yes but it's not a bad thing, I don't really like zelda 2, one of the few "different" zelda games.

2: THIS, skyward sword looks like an attempt to get rid of the stocks of motion plus, and it fails at it since actually I find wii sport resort to use it better and more precisely, and why the f*** don't they use the sensor bar for aiming, when you go back to TP, it feels like a newer game, because aiming is delightful and amazingly precise thanks to the sensor bar.

3 and 4: And it's really annoying, especially with the delayed controls, the dudes with electric sword are horrible "let's hit it on the lef... STUNNED, ok there an opening on the rigt... STUNNED, let's try a skywar... STUNNED".

5: (+) Dpad down, play five minutes, (+) Dpad down, play five minutes, rinse repeat... annoying, for sale: wii nunchuck joystick: brand new, never used.

6 and 7: The Zelda in skyward sword is so far my favorite character design of her, she is soooo cute, sadly you don't see her for so long...

8: I thought the same thing, funny, but anyway it's a video game...

9: I like the overall character design of Fi, she is just too serious, looks like she is only having fun right after you beat a boss (figure skating), her voice reminds me of glados... the text speed is only annoying when the batteries are low...

10: Such a step back from ocarina of time, completely gimmick (I only noticed the harp music when you play it anywhere actually "follow" the music).

11 and 12: Yes, main disappointment, I was expecting an open world, it feels more like Phantasy star online (Pioneer2/skyloft = get missions/buy stuffs) and the three area where you actually complete your missions, but the three area in skyward sword are actually great and gets even better when you advance in the game.

13: anyway most of them don't know what's going on under the sky.

14: Yes, they've been squeezing every drop of the few bosses they have put in this game, the boss rush is an excellent idea actually.

15: The whole lanaryu area is awesome, and like I said on another topic that "electric/modern technologically advanced past" is screaming for a prequel to this game.

16: It's not the best (all the guys on the internet saying it's the best zelda ever, they make me laugh) definitively, but not the worst by far, the game is really enjoyable on the overall, but the mandatory motion controls don't give that much more precision (you play against a computer that can read you every move before actually drawing the result) it only adds frustration, a classic controller mode or some settings to tweak the sensibility would have been welcome.

Personal bonus:
17: As I said, this game feels like it's taking ideas from many games/movies (the start was really harry potter-ish, with the school, the students, the contest to become knight... then the whole game takes ideas from sky of arcadia/phantasy star online...).
18: The rupee was my biggest concern at the start of the game, there's almost nothing you can afford pretty fast, and rupee doesn't show up that much... completely different from TP where you get pretty fast "You just found some rupee, but it wont fit your wallet, let's put it back" :( .
19: The boss difficulty is very random, I've been playing almost every zelda and I swear: the first Ghirahim fight is horrible, for a game that wanted to be noob friendly... and the big octopus, the controls delays puts you to shame... "almost there, let's aims the ey... SLAM!".
20: But on the overall I repeat I enjoyed this game, "bad" controls, but nice world, nice story, excellent music, and a nice gift from Nintendo for the end of life of the wii.
 

Guild McCommunist

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Im not arguing with that... Zelda games tends to follow the same formula everytime.
Im just saying that this so-called "reviewer" complains about that, when he is doing the exact same thing with his "reviews"

Reviews are supposed to be the same format and context. How can you significantly change a review format? Even then, it's a review, not a game. Games are things people buy and expect enjoyment purely out of. Reviews are meant to be part informative, part enjoyable and you don't pay for them. Complaining that he doesn't have "variety" in his reviews because all he does is point out a game's flaws is like complaining about rock music using an electric guitar.
 

PolloDiablo

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Reviews are supposed to be the same format and context. How can you significantly change a review format? Even then, it's a review, not a game. Games are things people buy and expect enjoyment purely out of. Reviews are meant to be part informative, part enjoyable and you don't pay for them. Complaining that he doesn't have "variety" in his reviews because all he does is point out a game's flaws is like complaining about rock music using an electric guitar.
thats the key word "informative". If you find these guy's reviews to be informative, I guess that my english skills are not enough to understand what this guy is saying... because all I can hear is he talking shit and making jokes that are not funny.
 

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