Huh, I've never heard of that happening before. Maybe it's a problem with luma? Did he update his 3ds before doing the hack, and was the game/luma working before you installed the hack?
Try using NTR and see if the patch still doesn't work, if it works then the problem probably lies with luma. He might need to update it(if he hasn't already).
Yup I totally did mix those two up, sorry about that. As for the pointer to the pointer table: honestly, it's kind of useless and doesn't matter. I shouldn't have pointed it out in the first place, as you can't really do anything with it. All it does is point to the start of the Msg pointer table. In theory you could move it and have the Msg pointer table at the bottom of the papa file, to make repointing everything while editing easier, but I've tried it before and it only ended in the game crashing. I'd just ignore it, the actual Msg pointer table is more important.
You don't need to use any specific program, but I do recommend
JKSV! It's very easy to use, and you can install it as a cia with FBI.
For the crashes, can you replace the patch's files in your sd cards with the cmn.zip file I've uploaded on this post? It might not solve the problem, but it'll at least rule out some causes. Let me know if you still have the crashes, and you can't activate love events with the new files.
I also included the edited german xbb file for you in case you wanted to look at is as an example.