Westside's tales of humor.

[Westside]

I'll be posting more soon:

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One day I borrowed a pot from my neighbour Ali. The next day I brought it back with another little pot inside. "That's not mine," said Ali. "Yes, it is," I said. "While your pot was staying with me, it had a baby."

Some time later I asked Ali to lend me a pot again. Ali agreed, hoping that he would once again receive two pots in return. However, days passed and I still did not returned the pot. Finally Ali lost patience and went to demand his property. "I am sorry," I said. "I can't give you back your pot, since it has died." "Died!" screamed Ali, "how can a pot die?" "Well," I said, "you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby."

 

[Awdofgum]

"you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby."

that's not what she said

 

[redact]

"you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby."

that's not what she said

Is too!

 

[tinymonkeyt]

ha..ha..ha..

 

[Westside]

Me and a friend were discussing our wives, when it occurred to the friend that I had never mentioned my wife's name.

"What is your wife's name?" he asked.

"I do not know her name," I admitted.

"What?" asked the friend in disbelief. "How long have you been married?"

"Twenty years," I answered, then added, "At first I did not think that the marriage would last, so I did not take the effort to learn my bride's name."

 

[Bob Evil]

These sound suspiciously familiar to me ... Then again, I have read a lot of Middle Eastern & Asian folklore and tales

 

[Westside]

I had two wives, one much older than the other.

"Which of us do you love the most?" asked the older wife one day.

"I love you both the same," I answered, wisely.

Not satisfied with this answer, the older wife continued, "If the two of us wives fell out of a boat, which one of us would you rescue first?"

"Well," I replied, "you can swim a little, can't you?"

 

[Salamantis]

I'll be posting more soon:

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One day I borrowed a pot from my neighbour Ali. The next day I brought it back with another little pot inside. "That's not mine," said Ali. "Yes, it is," I said. "While your pot was staying with me, it had a baby."

Some time later I asked Ali to lend me a pot again. Ali agreed, hoping that he would once again receive two pots in return. However, days passed and I still did not returned the pot. Finally Ali lost patience and went to demand his property. "I am sorry," I said. "I can't give you back your pot, since it has died." "Died!" screamed Ali, "how can a pot die?" "Well," I said, "you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby."


QUOTE(Westside @ Apr 14 2008, 08:58 PM) Me and a friend were discussing our wives, when it occurred to the friend that I had never mentioned my wife's name.

"What is your wife's name?" he asked.

"I do not know her name," I admitted.

"What?" asked the friend in disbelief. "How long have you been married?"

"Twenty years," I answered, then added, "At first I did not think that the marriage would last, so I did not take the effort to learn my bride's name."

I am so glad you are back

 

[Orc]

These sound suspiciously familiar to me ...
EDIT:
QUOTE(Westside @ Apr 15 2008, 08:46 AM) I'll be posting more soon:

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One day I borrowed a pot from my neighbour Ali. The next day I brought it back with another little pot inside. "That's not mine," said Ali. "Yes, it is," I said. "While your pot was staying with me, it had a baby."

Some time later I asked Ali to lend me a pot again. Ali agreed, hoping that he would once again receive two pots in return. However, days passed and I still did not returned the pot. Finally Ali lost patience and went to demand his property. "I am sorry," I said. "I can't give you back your pot, since it has died." "Died!" screamed Ali, "how can a pot die?" "Well," I said, "you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby."

Ah, hello there, Nasreddin.

 

[Westside]

These sound suspiciously familiar to me ...
EDIT:
QUOTE(Westside @ Apr 15 2008, 08:46 AM) I'll be posting more soon:

--------------------------------------------

One day I borrowed a pot from my neighbour Ali. The next day I brought it back with another little pot inside. "That's not mine," said Ali. "Yes, it is," I said. "While your pot was staying with me, it had a baby."

Some time later I asked Ali to lend me a pot again. Ali agreed, hoping that he would once again receive two pots in return. However, days passed and I still did not returned the pot. Finally Ali lost patience and went to demand his property. "I am sorry," I said. "I can't give you back your pot, since it has died." "Died!" screamed Ali, "how can a pot die?" "Well," I said, "you believed me when I told you that your pot had had a baby."

Ah, hello there, Nasreddin.

Good afternoon Ali.

 

[Bob Evil]

 

[xalphax]

keep 'em coming!

 

[Bob Evil]

keep 'em coming!

He will ... as soon as he finishes cutting & pasting them lol

 

[xalphax]

keep 'em coming!

He will ... as soon as he finishes cutting & pasting them lol

there i thought he had to translate them from uzbek first

 

[CockroachMan]

I lol'd

 

[Awdofgum]

I just reread them all and for some odd reason i laughed uncontrollably this time.

 

[Westside]

One day I went to the market and then I realized I needed a quarter to call my mother.
I asked the first person I saw: "My friend where are you from?"
He replied: "Samarkand!"
I said "My friend I lived there for two years! We are almost like brothers! Brother, you got a quarter I can borrow?"
Unwillingly he took out a quarter and gave it to me.
After calling my mother I realized I needed a cigarette to calm down, I saw another guy.
I asked this guy: "My friend where are you from?"
He replied: "Tashkent!"
I said "My friend I lived there for five years! We are almost like brothers! Brother, you got a cigarette I can borrow?"
Unwillingly he took out a cigarette and gave it to me.
I suddenly realized I needed a lighter for the cigarette.
I asked another guy: "My friend where are you from?"
After seeing what I did to the other guys he was pissed.
"Your mom!" He replied.
I thought about it, and the said. "My mom? My friend, I lived there for 9 month!! We are almost like brothers! Brother, you got a lighter I can borrow?"

..... I'm sorry if this one is a little cheesy.

It's funnier in Uzbek.

 

[Westside]

One day me and my friends were sitting at the coffee house. A young boy carrying a tray of baklava attracted the attention of one of the men.

`Hodja Effendi, look!' he pointed, `That boy is carrying a tray of baklava.'

`It's none of my business.' I shrugged my shoulders.

`But, Hodja, watch! He is taking it to your house.'

`In that case,' I asserted, `it's none of your business.'

*Hodja and Effendi are both Turkic honorifics. Used to describe a person who is highly respected.

Posts merged

One day I was going to the market place on my donkey. A rich acquaintance, riding a horse, caught up with me. He was looking for an opportunity to brag about his horse and belittle me.

`Hodja, Hodja, how is the donkey going?' he asked in a mocking tone.

`The donkey is going on a horse.' I shot back.

 

[Orc]

*Hoja and Effendi are both Turkic honorifics. Used to describe a person who is highly respected.

Westside Hodja, for he is wise and explosive.

 

[CockroachMan]

One day I went to the market and then I realized I needed a quarter to call my mother.
I asked the first person I saw: "My friend where are you from?"
He replied: "Samarkand!"
I said "My friend I lived there for two years! We are almost like brothers! Brother, you got a quarter I can borrow?"
Unwillingly he took out a quarter and gave it to me.
After calling my mother I realized I needed a cigarette to calm down, I saw another guy.
I asked this guy: "My friend where are you from?"
He replied: "Tashkent!"
I said "My friend I lived there for five years! We are almost like brothers! Brother, you got a cigarette I can borrow?"
Unwillingly he took out a cigarette and gave it to me.
I suddenly realized I needed a lighter for the cigarette.
I asked another guy: "My friend where are you from?"
After seeing what I did to the other guys he was pissed.
"Your mom!" He replied.
I thought about it, and the said. "My mom? My friend, I lived there for 9 month!! We are almost like brothers! Brother, you got a lighter I can borrow?"

..... I'm sorry if this one is a little cheesy.

It's funnier in Uzbek.

Lol.. that was the funniest one XD