Welcome back to thaddius’ Console Roast 2014 Edition. For those of you who are not aware this is a poll where you, the GBATemp user, get to vote on what GBATemp thinks is the worst console ever is. For more information check out the Rules section below.
Recap:
Oh man. You guys hated last week's winner which was:
The SNK Neo Geo X! Congratulations SNK! Your poor excuse for a handheld caught the attention of GBATemp and made (at least 50% of) them mad! I can't say I expected anything else.
Once again the mentally ill of the board voted nonsensically for what are obviously great systems. I'm not surprised, but the 3DS and Vita deserve better. At least it was under 20% of you. Maybe I should point out that just because there's an option on the poll doesn't mean at least one person has to vote for it.
So what could be in store this week? Maybe we'll find out after we read the rules no one ever reads.
Rules:
Enough of that crap, time to get started!
Intro:
So we’ve slogged through all the handhelds, and we’ve done almost all the consoles. The only thing left is the current gen. Now this is almost an exercise in futility - the battle lines are barely drawn, and those that are surround fan boy camps. But whatever. It wouldn’t be that thaddius’ Console Roast without more ambiguity.
I really hope this doesn’t devolve into too rough a discussion. You guys are (presumably) old enough to know what you’re doing though.
This Week's Challengers are:
The Nintendo Wii U
Rough start again. Will you ever get anything right, Nintendo? I suppose the only difference between this and the Wii and 3DS is that it hasn’t had it’s upswing yet. It may not even have one.
In an effort to apparently turn your TV into a DS Nintendo slapped a touch screen onto a controller. Personally the offscreen play functionality of the Wii U is a life saver whenever my sister-in-law comes over (which is often) and stays in the basement where the TV is. It’s honestly a very good selling point for the Wii U.
The Wii U is apparently underpowered and will never have the capabilities of the other current gen systems, but its games still manage to look great. And it has Mario, Zelda, and Super Smash Bros games on it so you can’t go wrong. Also Virtual Console! Too bad you have to pay ~$1 to transfer Wii VC games onto it but at least there’s a discount. Now if only they’d give you cross-buy capabilities like Sony does.
It’s way too early to call so just vote for this one if you hate Nintendo I guess.
The Microsoft Xbox One
It’s the third Xbox so it makes perfect sense that you’d call it the Xbox One. I’ve heard that it’s called ‘One’ because it’s supposed to be all your entertainment solutions rolled into a single device. Sadly it doesn’t play Nintendo or Sony games so the name is already inaccurate.
Bundled with Kinect 2 (at least initially?) and launching at $500US, the Xbox One plays Xbox One games only! None of your original Xbox, Xbox 360, or XBLA games will work on this machine. As an avid collector of games this bugs me a tad. I’m beginning to understand that backwards compatibility is not as important to others as it is to me.
Anyway I don’t really have much else to say about this thing. It’s not doing anything new or crazy. The only negatives are the price and lack of backwards compatibility (which limits the games, obviously). Basically it’s too early to call, but I’m making you vote on it anyway.
Both Xbox entries have been chosen as the worst of their generation so far so I vaguely wonder about this one. If you got a hate on for Microsoft and spell their name with a dollar sign then I guess this is the one for you to vote for.
The OUYA
Oh man. If you thought Android handheld gaming was the future wait until you see just how shitty Android console gaming is.
Getting its initial investment from crowd funding website KickStarter, the OUYA sprang into the public consciousness only because it was a bit of an oddity. Using its own proprietary GUI and store the OUYA doesn’t have some of the openness that people love about Android phones (unless you hack it), but it does have a good selection of local co-op party games. The OUYA has the unique ability to use controllers from other consoles like the Xbox 360 and the PS3, which you’ll probably end up using because you can’t stand the pack-in controller.
Apparently it’s not so bad as a media centre, but there are so many consoles styling themselves as one it’s a tough sell. And if you don’t have a hacked Wii it’s a smashing good emulator machine (because you need another one of those…).
As a developer I enjoyed this just as much as I did the Nvidia Shield - it's easy to work with and it gives you an opportunity to see what your games will look like on that kind of platform very quickly. But I have a feeling that won't amount to much for you lay folk.
The Sony PlayStation 4
I don’t even know what to say about the PS4. Just like the Xbone it isn’t doing anything to distinguish itself from its predecessor apart from having newer computery bits. It still retains some of the motion control stuff that was so popular with the kids last generation, and it’ll run Netflix just as well as everything else these days. It does have a nicer controller that its predecessors though.
One really cool thing is owning a Vita and a PS4 and using its Remote Play feature. Sort of like the Wii U’s offscreen play you can play your PS4 games on your Vita over Wifi or the internet. The major differences here is the buy-in for the Sony solution is significantly higher than Nintendo’s as you need two expensive systems, and that not all games will be compatible with Remote Play on the Vita (hopefully it’ll be more than the PS3!). But at least the Vita is an autonomous handheld you can take with you that has its own games which semi-justifies the price. And Cross-buy with the Vita is a great, although it's mostly for indie titles.
Oh yeah, and no backwards compatibility, even with PSOne games which boggles my mind although there are rumours that that will change. Maybe we’ll hear more about that Playstation Now stuff soon too (although it’s apparently not coming to Canada).
Anyway, once again it’s way too early for me to even choose. If you super hate Sony this is the one for you.
Outro:
And there you have it! The Eighth Generation of Consoles! Wait… We’re out of stuff to do… So what do we do now?
Current Standings:
Recap:
Oh man. You guys hated last week's winner which was:
The SNK Neo Geo X! Congratulations SNK! Your poor excuse for a handheld caught the attention of GBATemp and made (at least 50% of) them mad! I can't say I expected anything else.
Once again the mentally ill of the board voted nonsensically for what are obviously great systems. I'm not surprised, but the 3DS and Vita deserve better. At least it was under 20% of you. Maybe I should point out that just because there's an option on the poll doesn't mean at least one person has to vote for it.
So what could be in store this week? Maybe we'll find out after we read the rules no one ever reads.
Rules:
There can only be one!
Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Thursday from now till the end.
We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER.
Your only job, Mr. or Ms. GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic.
In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all...
The Generations are taken from Wikipedia as I've deemed that to be an appropriate neutral third party. I understand if you might have some concerns that I've put things in the wrong generation in your opinion, but I'm not too concerned about that. Generations are murky constructs at best and are based on arbitrary distinctions made by outsiders as post hoc rationalizations that don't mean anything to anyone anyway.
If I left out/included a certain console/handheld you think does/doesn't belong there I'm probably not going to include/not include them anyway. Basically don't take any of this too seriously. I'm not going to change the polls based on your opinion of them. I also can't change the polls once I've created them. The fact that people keep telling me to change things means that no one reads this but whatever. It's not like anyone cares about what I have to say.
Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k?
Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Thursday from now till the end.
We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER.
Your only job, Mr. or Ms. GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic.
In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all...
The Generations are taken from Wikipedia as I've deemed that to be an appropriate neutral third party. I understand if you might have some concerns that I've put things in the wrong generation in your opinion, but I'm not too concerned about that. Generations are murky constructs at best and are based on arbitrary distinctions made by outsiders as post hoc rationalizations that don't mean anything to anyone anyway.
If I left out/included a certain console/handheld you think does/doesn't belong there I'm probably not going to include/not include them anyway. Basically don't take any of this too seriously. I'm not going to change the polls based on your opinion of them. I also can't change the polls once I've created them. The fact that people keep telling me to change things means that no one reads this but whatever. It's not like anyone cares about what I have to say.
Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k?
Intro:
So we’ve slogged through all the handhelds, and we’ve done almost all the consoles. The only thing left is the current gen. Now this is almost an exercise in futility - the battle lines are barely drawn, and those that are surround fan boy camps. But whatever. It wouldn’t be that thaddius’ Console Roast without more ambiguity.
I really hope this doesn’t devolve into too rough a discussion. You guys are (presumably) old enough to know what you’re doing though.
This Week's Challengers are:
The Nintendo Wii U
Rough start again. Will you ever get anything right, Nintendo? I suppose the only difference between this and the Wii and 3DS is that it hasn’t had it’s upswing yet. It may not even have one.
In an effort to apparently turn your TV into a DS Nintendo slapped a touch screen onto a controller. Personally the offscreen play functionality of the Wii U is a life saver whenever my sister-in-law comes over (which is often) and stays in the basement where the TV is. It’s honestly a very good selling point for the Wii U.
The Wii U is apparently underpowered and will never have the capabilities of the other current gen systems, but its games still manage to look great. And it has Mario, Zelda, and Super Smash Bros games on it so you can’t go wrong. Also Virtual Console! Too bad you have to pay ~$1 to transfer Wii VC games onto it but at least there’s a discount. Now if only they’d give you cross-buy capabilities like Sony does.
It’s way too early to call so just vote for this one if you hate Nintendo I guess.
The Microsoft Xbox One
It’s the third Xbox so it makes perfect sense that you’d call it the Xbox One. I’ve heard that it’s called ‘One’ because it’s supposed to be all your entertainment solutions rolled into a single device. Sadly it doesn’t play Nintendo or Sony games so the name is already inaccurate.
Bundled with Kinect 2 (at least initially?) and launching at $500US, the Xbox One plays Xbox One games only! None of your original Xbox, Xbox 360, or XBLA games will work on this machine. As an avid collector of games this bugs me a tad. I’m beginning to understand that backwards compatibility is not as important to others as it is to me.
Anyway I don’t really have much else to say about this thing. It’s not doing anything new or crazy. The only negatives are the price and lack of backwards compatibility (which limits the games, obviously). Basically it’s too early to call, but I’m making you vote on it anyway.
Both Xbox entries have been chosen as the worst of their generation so far so I vaguely wonder about this one. If you got a hate on for Microsoft and spell their name with a dollar sign then I guess this is the one for you to vote for.
The OUYA
Oh man. If you thought Android handheld gaming was the future wait until you see just how shitty Android console gaming is.
Getting its initial investment from crowd funding website KickStarter, the OUYA sprang into the public consciousness only because it was a bit of an oddity. Using its own proprietary GUI and store the OUYA doesn’t have some of the openness that people love about Android phones (unless you hack it), but it does have a good selection of local co-op party games. The OUYA has the unique ability to use controllers from other consoles like the Xbox 360 and the PS3, which you’ll probably end up using because you can’t stand the pack-in controller.
Apparently it’s not so bad as a media centre, but there are so many consoles styling themselves as one it’s a tough sell. And if you don’t have a hacked Wii it’s a smashing good emulator machine (because you need another one of those…).
As a developer I enjoyed this just as much as I did the Nvidia Shield - it's easy to work with and it gives you an opportunity to see what your games will look like on that kind of platform very quickly. But I have a feeling that won't amount to much for you lay folk.
The Sony PlayStation 4
I don’t even know what to say about the PS4. Just like the Xbone it isn’t doing anything to distinguish itself from its predecessor apart from having newer computery bits. It still retains some of the motion control stuff that was so popular with the kids last generation, and it’ll run Netflix just as well as everything else these days. It does have a nicer controller that its predecessors though.
One really cool thing is owning a Vita and a PS4 and using its Remote Play feature. Sort of like the Wii U’s offscreen play you can play your PS4 games on your Vita over Wifi or the internet. The major differences here is the buy-in for the Sony solution is significantly higher than Nintendo’s as you need two expensive systems, and that not all games will be compatible with Remote Play on the Vita (hopefully it’ll be more than the PS3!). But at least the Vita is an autonomous handheld you can take with you that has its own games which semi-justifies the price. And Cross-buy with the Vita is a great, although it's mostly for indie titles.
Oh yeah, and no backwards compatibility, even with PSOne games which boggles my mind although there are rumours that that will change. Maybe we’ll hear more about that Playstation Now stuff soon too (although it’s apparently not coming to Canada
).Anyway, once again it’s way too early for me to even choose. If you super hate Sony this is the one for you.
Outro:
And there you have it! The Eighth Generation of Consoles! Wait… We’re out of stuff to do… So what do we do now?
Current Standings:
