More thoughts, and more stuff


GBAtemp's Silver Hero
Jan 22, 2009
United States
Oh well.

In the past few months, I have learned a lot, experienced a lot, and even regretted a lot. I have never been more stressed, depressed, or sad. The bad thing is that this is causing health problems, and relationship problems. Though not the relationship y'all are thinking of. In a very recent blog, I told about a decision I made to move out of my parents house. Sure I had contemplated it, but an incident with my Father expedited it. I am not proud of how I acted. It was childish, and even more so because of the the subject. I sucked it up and apologized about it. They tried to get me to change my mind. I told them it was going to happen sooner or later. Why not make it sooner. At the very least it will be a learning experience, and at the most, the beginning of the rest of my life. Like I said, if you don't dive head first, you won't live life to the fullest. Besides, there are less second thoughts, and more learning involved. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, or more insane... I prefer to get stronger though.

In fact the very relationship that jumped to your minds when I said "Relationship problems" is flourishing. It's been about six months now, and our relationship has been tempered. Whether it is tempered steel or tempered glass remains to be seen. Feels like it's definitely more than glass, but not yet steel, and to me it's a start. I have also been thinking about what made her attractive to me. It is a no-brainer that she is (to me) stunningly beautiful. That isn't what attracts me though, simply because there are other beautiful women out there. What attracts me is her flaming red hair, and equally passionate personality. I had a great personal "Sterling time" while I swept the floor at my job for 45 minutes tonight. I actually dug to the roots of why I like red haired women. My first girlfriend was in the 3rd grade, and she had almost the same red hue shock of hair. Not sure why she asked me to go out with her, or rather it's because I simply can't remember. I don't know which one it is. I guess it's because when my mother caught us making out, and sadly caused her parents (and her) to decide to move away, I decided to never forget her. Though I never saw her again (and perhaps other than wishful thinking, I won't), I still have kept those vows. Now my girlfriend, her personality is very intriguing. She seems very open, while at the same time tries to have conservative moral values. She is easily swayed by people she trusts, and at the same time is able to kiss and not tell. While I won't be taking advantage of the fist part of that, it proves she can be a powerful support in the game called life. Maybe I can get a bonus to my CRIT? Like I also said in my previous blog, I want to talk to her about sex in our relationship. I want to do it in a way that she knows I want it, but doesn't feel pressured by said knowledge. I got to talking about it to my friend (you know the one who masturbates all the time), I was surprised when he gave me very sound advice. He has never been in a relationship, so I guess all that literotica is doing SOME good. >.> His advice: "Due to the sensitivity of the subject (*insert smirk here*), you have to have tact. Which in certain situations you are sadly lacking". I wonder, do any of you have any sort of advice on this, if you need more info, then read below spoiler, if you don't then I would advise you not to touch it, and don't run a blacklight over it either.

Info I was talking about is another branch of the conversation I had with my friend. The question at hand was what my take on sex is. Ir replied, it may be a combination of three things. Satisfaction of human desire (my wants, and I believe her's as well), furthering the relationship emotionally, and physically. Now as a God fearing man, I know that what I believe in states that entering into a sexual relationship before marriage is wrong. In fact we both know, and our parents know. This kind of scares me a bit. I don't want to lose what I have for a little bit of pleasure. Since we both love each other, then the pain that would come out of that whole ordeal wouldn't be worth it at all. That is the reason why I held back this conversation. Up until recently the first time I considered this conversation was the last. Since then I have realized she doesn't tell her mother or father much of what we talk about. Which constituted this reconsideration.

Life is here, and life is there
Life can heat up, and life can cool down
Life brings sad moments, happy moments, and wtf moments
If life is this great, what will the after life be like? Hmm, I wonder.

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