Hey all. Just needing some support and people who will listen.

[tbgtbg]

Sorry about the loss of your father. I know you're in great pain now, and that's normal, but it does get more bearable over time. The times I lost someone (most recently just a few months ago) were the hardest of my life, and I didn't feel like it would ever be anything but pain and sorrow, but over time, while you still feel the loss, you find a way to... i don't know the words... compartmentalize maybe... and while sometimes you'll still be very sad and in pain, for the most part you can get back to living life, and focus more on the good things you remember about the person's life. If you have friends and family to be around, who share your loss, I've found that to be of great help. Please don't do anything rash like taking your own life. Then nothing will ever get better. Not to mention the pain it would compound on your remaining loved ones. And all your friends at the Temp would miss you!

Best wishes and prayers for you and your family during these trying times.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

The heartbreak does not so easily go away. There are millions of pieces to pick up. The mess that was left behind is unfathomable, but I don't mind it. What is hard is accepting that my father is dead and gone. I know that I have no choice but to work through it. I am breaking down constantly, but nothing will move forward if I do not put forth any effort.

I have my family and my children that I must attend to. I wish it could be so easy for me to drop the ball, but I do not have much of a choice if I want my children to continue through life. FML!

 

[Sicklyboy]

Every struggle or hardship you encounter just teaches you another facet of life. Some are easy to deal with, some not so much. Hard as it may be, it's how you use that knowledge to make yourself a better person that matters the most.

The loss of a father is not something that you're going to get over in days or weeks, and I wish nothing but misfortune on someone who expects you to just "get over it" like that. Something like this would take months, dare I say possibly even years, to fully come to terms with. Don't rush yourself to come to terms with it. Just make sure that you give yourself time in a comfortable setting to just... think about it.

I've never gone through something as serious as this. But when I go through other things, extremely stressful points in my life, I personally like to go down to a dock/pier and just sit at the edge with my legs hanging off of the edge. Just listen to the waves crashing against the pilings, put on some calm music if that's your thing, and just bring yourself to a peaceful state where nothing else around you can bother you. Some people like the beach, sitting in a forest, or other generally secluded places. Or not at all.

I think sometimes you just need to remove yourself from everything else so you can actually be with just yourself.

 

[DeadlyFoez]

Thank you Plasma.

I don't know what to do or think. I am so empty.

 

[Sicklyboy]

A stab to the gut takes a lot longer to heal than a papercut on the back of your hand.

All wounds need time, you just need to give yourself that. Every wound takes a different amount of time to heal, and every person heals differently. Thoughts will come, and some will go. It's far, far easier said than done, but try to just take everything one step at a time. Try not to overthink it, or to try to figure it out - there might not be anything to figure out, and you're still in a fragile state.

Everything just takes time, man. Time and good people who are gonna help you through everything.

 

[cracker]

Sorry to hear about your loss. You should consider going to talk with a grief counselor. It may seem like a very uncomfortable thing to do but talking to people in a group that are going through loss (especially recently) can be very beneficial. There are just some things that can only be understood by people going through the same thing as you. Some things that others can tell you won't have the same impact many times as when there are said by those that are in the same struggle as you.

It is a good sign that you came on here and bared it all. It shows you want to get help and don't want to choose the path your father did. Keep on talking and try not to repress your feelings. They won't just go away by themselves and will keep coming back if you don't address them.

I wish you good luck.

 

[Par39]

I'm sorry for your loss.

For me, when I had to deal with losing someone dear to me, talking about it to a (then) random person on the internet helped a lot, because I couldn't talk about it face to face with anyone. What I'm trying to say is, if you feel like you need to talk to someone, but don't know a person you really can talk to, don't be afraid to take someone up on their offer to listen to you even if you don't know who they are. I'd offer to listen myself, but unfortunately I'm not very good at comforting others with words.

Best wishes.

 

[yusuo]

I just want to see my dad again. I am so hurt and lost without him.

I feel your pain man, but the pain your going through will pass.
I read here that you have 2 kids, the pain you're going through will only be diverted on to them if you do anything to yourself. Being a dad to two myself I wouldn't want to be putting them through the grief of losing their dad intentionally.
I don't mean to throw what may seem like a guilt trip on you cause that's not what I intend to do but you've got to (I'm assuming) amazing kids who love their dad and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him.
I know I dont know you but if you need anyone to chat to I'm usually about. Stay strong my friend

P.s. if its any help I'm a qualified, and trust I won't call the cops if you do wanna chat

 

[Hells Malice]

Well, there's probably not much I can add, since most of the good points have been said. But I will say that I completely agree with P1ng. You have two lovely little girls who need their Daddy.
If you want to think about suicide, you might as well think of it like a 'self-destruct' button. Sure if you hit that button you'll end your pain easy enough, but those close to you will be caught in the explosion as well. You'll hurt anyone close to you, most of all your innocent little girls, who do -not- deserve to lose their dad in such a way.

You have my condolences for your loss as well. Though I haven't lost any close relatives, I have lost plenty of friends, so I know to at least some degree what loss feels like, even if I maybe don't know the true gravity of how you feel. As tough as it can be to do, once you move from the epicenter of the disaster, things will begin to calm down. Keep living your life. If your Dad really did sacrifice himself like you say, then of course he didn't do it just for you to suffer for the rest of your life. Live your life, and be happy. Raise your daughters the way they deserve to be raised, and enjoy every moment of what it means to be a father. Life is not empty, nor is it devoid of reason. You have plenty of reason to go on, and move forward.

Sorry, I had more to say, but real life likes to derail my train of thought so i'll end my post here, with a possible followup later.

 

[The Catboy]

I'm sorry for your lose and honestly could never imagine what you are going through, but need to be strong and fight through this. You have a family and need to be strong for them just as much as you need to be for yourself. Yes it hurts now, but you need to fight through that let the wounds heal. It's not going to happen over night, but you still need to let it happen through time.

-Lucario

 

[air2004]

I know I'm a day late and dollar short here Deadly.... I know the pain you feel inside , I lost my (step)father 6 years ago .... The only way I was able to deal with it , was to not think about it , and yes I had a few nights where I drank and cried ( even cried at work), and asked why ( I still do ) he died a week after my son was born ( and some of the shit my boy does I wish he could see , I know he would say to me , you used to do the same shit ), but I do have a pick of him holding him ,about 2 years ago I wrote this poem for him , I hope this can help you .......
pain and tears fill my sorrow ,
the suns disappearing ,
as I miss the morrow
time so limted ,
words unheard ,
memories uncreated ,
so much I have learned
I bid you farwell ,
I bid you adieu ,
may you rest in peace ,
and know that I miss you

 

[Castiel]

You have my condolences and prayers Foez.

 

[Shinigami357]

First off, condolence on your loss. Wish I could offer more than mere platitudes, but this is how it is. Death is a... finality, shall we say, and there's little we can do about it. That goes for your recently-deceased father, and that goes for you, as well.

With that said, life is about decisions. Now, I'll admit I don't know what you've been through [temp inactivity], but suicide is the worst decisions one can make at any time, especially if they are grieving or feeling lost. Any other decisions, you can wake up from, look around, dust yourself off and have another go, get another chance at life. With suicide, that's out of the question.

Don't throw your life away on a whim, man.