Fun with telemarketers/phone scams 2012 edition

[Sora de Eclaune]

Alessa got one of those IMs from a webcam girl scam, except I think it was an actual person because when she sent "[WARNING: THIS CONVERSATION IS BEING MONITORED BY THE FBI]" (she always sends that to bots as a joke) and played dumb to the message, the scammer freaked out and acted like a human being for a moment before reverting back to saying things like 'if i were a bot why would i be wearing this hat'.

 

[ComeTurismO]

I keep getting phones from them on and on and on, they are like, oh do you want toilet service? I say

"HEY LOOK BEHIND YOU A WOMAN IS DANCING!! OH AND YOU SUCK!! BYE SHITFACE "

 

[Sora de Eclaune]

I keep getting phones from them on and on and on, they are like, oh do you want toilet service? I say

"HEY LOOK BEHIND YOU A WOMAN IS DANCING!! OH AND YOU SUCK!! BYE SHITFACE "

No, you're supposed to say something like "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ASSHOLE I'M CURRENTLY SITTING IN MY TOILET ON FIRE BECAUSE MY WIFE FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE VIBRATOR IN MY ASS"

You have to alarm them, offend them, and then confuse them. That way they forget about being offended.

 

[MichaelDwells]

I know where you're coming from. I used to be polite to these nuisance callers but after I started getting endless sales calls, I realized I don't have the obligation to be polite to them at all. I've asked them nicely to remove me from their call list but they never did. They invade my privacy, take my time and force their products on me even after I firmly refused. That's become extremely annoying.

But I figured, I can't be mad every time they call. Telemarketers do not respect the DNC list anymore, so why should I be polite? I used to oppose pranks at telemarketers but right now, I'm so into them. And they're so funny that I find it a very good stress reliever.

So when I'm not doing anything at all, I take time and spend it pulling up pranks at telemarketers.

And I never run out of pranks. I get a lot of tips from here http://www.callercen...emarketers.html. And they're not like harassing or mean pranks. They're more like innocent pranks merely intended to waste the telemarketer's time.

 

[Densetsu]

JW: ...it's the only path to eternal paradise.
Me: But aren't you the guys who believe that 144,000 people will go to Heaven?
JW: Well...yes.
Me: Then why are you trying to sell me a plane ticket when the flight is already full? I'll take my chances with agnosticism.

 

[The Catboy]

For telemarketers, I just say random things. Such as
TM: Talking
Me: Gentlemen! Behold! I have made love to this machine!
TM: What did you do?
ME: In retrospect, I ask, why?
And then they hang up.

For JW, well I don't have to do much for some reason they always come to my house at the weirdest time. Like right after I got a blood test. They were like, "What happened to your arm?" and I was like "Gave blood" then they started scanning me over...I happen to be wearing my favorite necklace, which happens to be a Sigil of Baphomet, same with my rings and also was only in was dressed like goth slut that day. They pretty much left without saying a word to me.
Now every time they go to my house, they pretty much throw the flyer at my house and run.

 

[NeoSupaMario]

This calvin and Hobbes comic explains what I do to telemarketers/scammers perfectly:

 

[Santee]

Similar thing happens in my town with people from the electric company asking about rates and offering lower them.

Them: Hello are your parents home
Me: Yea but my mom is a rude "women" who won't even attempt to speak English and will basically spam the door in your face
Them: Oh, um thanks man, I'll be going then.
Me: Yea no problem

... Am I doing it wrong?