If it's the R4i Gold from r4ids.cn, then you can use it with the latest firmware (dunno the version for sure but it's clearly above 184.108.40.206E).
Just make sure you check their official website and install the firmware that they have on their latest downloads.
You have extracted the files from the kernel archive you downloaded from r4ids.cn right? (Using 7zip or WinRAR or WinZIP) If yes, read below.
1) Place the newest kernel and newest firmware update on your micro sd card.
2) You need to find/borrow a DS/DS Lite/DSi/DSi XL/3DS, that your card works on, then run the firmware update!
Your problem is that your R4ids.cn card isn't working because your 3DS is updated more than your card. By the way, don't use any other kernel, or firmware update, unless it comes from the r4ids.cn website OR YOU WILL BRICK YOUR CARD!