Does Age Matter?

[Nathan Drake]

Earlier today, I was talking with one of my best friends who dropped in on my TA (Teacher Assistant) period to hang out and get some work done. We're talking a bit, off and on, and it comes to a point where she is talking about this freshman that likes her. She mentioned this freshman (Freshman A) commented on her necklace (a necklace with a very specific purpose), and has shown obvious interest. My friend then said this though: "She's cute, but she's a freshman, so I'm not going to do anything." I have a feeling I may know her specific reasoning for saying this, but still, it struck me as odd considering the possibility that my presumption is incorrect.

For anybody unfamiliar with how US high schools tend to work, it goes like this, in terms of age:
Freshman - 14/15
Sophomore - 15/16
Junior - 16/17
Senior - 17/18

This really got the gears in my head going, as this freshman gal (Freshman B from here onward) I see and talk to often is definitely interested in me, and I find myself interested in her. We have become close, too, so it isn't entirely a me being a big fish thing. I then had to think about everything I heard though, and the rolling trend. Seniors don't date freshman. I know there are a couple of okay reasons an individual may say that, that don't entirely revolve around personal taste. In the end though, I got to thinking. Age has never made a difference to me. If I'm interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with a girl, and she's interested in the same with me, then no issues should be had. There is something like 8 or 10 years between my aunt and uncle, and they are very happy with their marriage and lives. I feel I just need to ignore the social pressure to follow a specific path, and do what I find to be correct. Yes, I realize, maturity does play a certain factor, especially in this teenage years. I've taken this into consideration deeply while making my decision.

Now, I'm wondering how the community here feels. Do you think that age should be a deciding factor in pursuing a romantic interest? Or are you of the belief that (within reason) age doesn't matter? Do you fall somewhere in between? How about in general relationships such as friendships? Would you find age to matter there?

Remember, if you don't like the topic, no need to comment. I realize not all of you are a fan of the more dating oriented line of questioning that crops up every now and again. I'm genuinely curious, and this community tends to be fairly informative.

Last note: sorry for any errors or flowing issues. It's late, and I haven't been sleeping great. I've been making an astounding number of errors lately.

 

[emigre]

http://gbatemp.net/blog/930/entry-6335-do-you-think-rebecca-black-is-attractive/

 

[Pong20302000]

wait so im cofnused

so this senior is wanting a girl on girl relationship with a freshman?

that what im reading here?

 

[Nathan Drake]

http://gbatemp.net/blog/930/entry-6335-do-you-think-rebecca-black-is-attractive/

Bro, best blog ever, I know. A bit irrelevant though. Finding somebody attractive, and being attracted to them are fairly different, though. I appreciate the effort.

wait so im cofnused

so this senior is wanting a girl on girl relationship with a freshman?

that what im reading here?

Maybe I should have assigned code names. Hold on. EDITS AWAY!

 

[Densetsu]

so this senior is wanting a girl on girl relationship with a freshman?

That's what I thought, too.



*ON TOPIC*
Age shouldn't matter, but I can understand the need to strike a balance between what is deemed socially acceptable (referring to your high school as a "society" in a broad sense) and what you feel comfortable with in terms of maturity. When it comes to matters of love, all that really matters is what you think. If it feels right, I say go for it.

*EDIT*
Of course, within reason. If you love a dog, and it feels right, you're doing it wrong.

 

[Nathan Drake]

For the first part, clarification. Yes, my friend is a lesbian. Thus, she is interested in another girl. One track minds here.

 

[Midna]

Only date girls ~10 years older than yourself.

 

[Schlupi]

I'll tell you everything I can think of about this subject.

Back when I was in high school, By time we hit Senior Year, most guys made fun other guys who were dating Freshmen (freshwomen? lol). I think it was just kind of a taboo thing, and seen as "kinda creepy" because people were always thinking 15 year olds aren't legit for a 18 year old. It most likely stems form the fact that 15-16 (and in some places, 17) year olds are still minors. TECHNICALLY, you're breaking the law (in some places) having relations with a 15-17 year old (statutory [censored]). Most adults will tell you that freshie girls don't know better, and they're naive, etc. and in a lot of cases, that's true. The idea of dating an older guy/girl is exciting to most people. More experience (ideally), more knowledge, and so on... the idea of older lover is a turn on for a lot of people. In turn, it also works the other way, people are thrilled thinking about a younger person, you know how it goes... "fresh", youthful, etc. I don't need to continue.


With all that said, despite making jokes, most guys I saw were just SO JELLY that their friend was getting any action they didn't know what else to do. Think about it; by Senior Year you know who's a slut, who's been around, etc. and dating into another class gets you into a new territory. When I was in high school, I dated somebody in my own class (freshman year), somebody in the class under me (Junior Year, and she skipped a grade so she was technically a freshman in age), somebody two years under me (this is where the trend became apparent and people joked lol), and finally I have been dating somebody only 6 months different since Senior Year. I never saw the 2-3 year age difference to be a problem, honestly... when it was me who did it.

I personally try to be a gentleman... I HATE to see women taken advantage of. I DESPISE it, and I try to treat them right. One of the biggest reasons, personally I think, that dating a younger person is an issue if because people think you're taking advantage of them. Think about it. If you're dating... say, Martha in your class (Senior year) parents just say, "

oh, ok. They're both adults they know what they're doing."

BUUUT if you're a senior and she's a freshman...

"WHAT? AN older guy? THIS GUYS BAD NEWS HES TRYING TO JUST GET IN YOUR PANTS AND DEFLOW YOU OMG" and so forth.

It's a bad image because people have made it a bad image. I didn't care when people said shit, to be honest. I wasn't doing anything wrong, so why feel ashamed? I think as long as you're legit, and honest, and not being the typical asshole guy and you're interested in this girl... just go for it. Emphasize how you feel, and honest to others and yourself. Don't try to ignore it, it'll just end up hurting you and irking you and others. Trust me, I wasted as loooooot of time in high school over hung up feelings...

From what I seen you're a good guy, Nathan. If you're anything you're like here in the Temp in real life, I am sure you'll be fine. Just remember, haters gonna hate. ;P

I'm sorry if that post is all over the place, it's 3 AM here and I'm trying my best to post with sleep deprivation rotting my train of thought.

---

 

[Densetsu]

Personally, I think it's idiotic that when an 18-year-old has consensual sex with a 17-year-old, it's considered statutory. But whatcha gonna do. Just don't get yourself arrested over something stupid like that.

*EDIT*
D'oh! I didn't read Schlupi's post before making this post D:

 

[Jennyfurr]

I think that age doesn't matter (within reason.. like a 14 year old and a 90 year old isn't good.. lol). I generally like guys that are older than me, but if I met a guy my age or a little younger and we hit it off, I wouldn't throw out the opportunity because of age alone.

 

[Veho]

 

[Pong20302000]

well from personal experiences girls that young still not sure what they want so can be abit rocky

my current GF is 18 (was almost 18 when we got together) and im 22

i really forget the age different sometimes

but its not much of a gap

but everyone laughs how me and her are pretty much identical to each other and we make each other laugh

so if both happy i dont think age matters one bit

 

[Hells Malice]

During your highschool days?
Yeah it matters a bit.
I wouldn't date outside a year of yourself. If you're in grade 10, dating a grade 8, you're going to get some funny looks and talking behind your back. Not that it really matters.
Once you're out of highschool your range grows. 19-23 is a safe range to be around and stick within. 24+ and it just really doesn't matter anymore.
That's from a socially acceptable level, anyway.

From a maturity level, 8th grade and 11th grade isn't that huge maturity wise, tbh. Well, it doesn't have to be. Of course maturity is on a person by person basis, so it's ridiculous to try and pin it down. Personally, dating when you're younger than 18 is pretty pointless and serves more as a drama magnet than anything else. But hell, who would I have to council if not for these pointless relationships.
Ahem.

To tl;dr that, as long as they're both in highschool, age really doesn't matter unless you're afraid of having a few people talk behind your back.

Hope I worded that well enough. It's way too late for me to be posting in threads like this.

 

[KingVamp]

*EDIT*
Of course, within reason. If you love a dog, and it feels right, you're doing it wrong.

You know if this was in blogs I would have probably never seen it. Since they change it, I rarely go there.

I see where people are coming from when they say "If I like them, what do I care what age they are?", but I prefer
1-2years (3 to 5 max is stretching it.) as my choices and social wise.

 

[jurassicplayer]

Relationships are for saps. Should just hang out with a badass chick, and then propose. The stuff inbetween is just wasted time that could be spent studying hard and making yourself as badass as possible so you aren't shown up when said badass chick arrives .

 

[exangel]

Hells Malice put things almost exactly as I see them. I have some other ideas too, though.

There are different levels of intimacy too. Every relationship has a different slope of progression in my experience. The wider the gap in life experience, the harder it may be for the couple to keep their relationship intact (before age 25ish). However, life experience can be relative to the individual, so long as it's a safe relationship for both, I don't see a problem within the four year High School gap.
And by "safe relationship", I mean mostly so long as there is no lying or deception going on in maintaining the relationship; both families approve, the couple cooperates with chaperone agreements and curfew and whatever.
No abusiveness is a given, I couldn't approve of that in any relationship.

It's rare that a couple who are soulmates in high school and go on to live veritably permanent married lives, but I've known one couple (in the US) that actually married while in high school because they were just that certain. I'm pretty sure I remember the marriage being before the first pregnancy, to boot.
They're still together, with kids that are now in their early teens.

They were only one class year apart, but I've been all across the board with my own relationships in the past.. but specifics aside, the bigger problem is when teenagers get into dramas of their own creation because they lie about their relationships or don't accept the consequences because they're naive. The worst thing naive people can do is believe that they aren't.

 

[Psionic Roshambo]

Age 14-20 the Girl should be a year or two younger then the boy to account for males not maturing as fast.
Age 20-30 things get a little more flexible as the males should have caught up to the females of the species, some exceptions always occur and its at this point in time one should pay attention to these factors. Some guys develop something called Peter Pan syndrome (Fun at parties not so fun when trying to do things like bills lol)
30+ Women should date a man who is about 5 years younger then themselves, at this age people are getting ready to settle down and pick a life mate. Women tend to out live men by about 5 years on average so this will leave less time to be alone baring some accident.

And as always your situation may vary from this so its more a guide then rules

 

[Deleted member 473940]

+- 5 years would be acceptable for me.
My current girl is almost 3 years younger than me.

But I would so later in the years, age would barelty make any difference to me.

 

[kevan]

Age 14-20 the Girl should be a year or two younger then the boy to account for males not maturing as fast.
Age 20-30 things get a little more flexible as the males should have caught up to the females of the species, some exceptions always occur and its at this point in time one should pay attention to these factors. Some guys develop something called Peter Pan syndrome (Fun at parties not so fun when trying to do things like bills lol)
30+ Women should date a man who is about 5 years younger then themselves, at this age people are getting ready to settle down and pick a life mate. Women tend to out live men by about 5 years on average so this will leave less time to be alone baring some accident.

And as always your situation may vary from this so its more a guide then rules

Yeah forget this.