Video Game Logic

Discussion in 'General Gaming Discussion' started by Yuki Amano, Jun 16, 2012.

Jun 16, 2012

Video Game Logic by Yuki Amano at 5:05 AM (38,310 Views / 3 Likes) 583 replies

  1. Yuki Amano
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    Member Yuki Amano GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    List things that only make sense in video games:
    1. Mushrooms makes you bigger instead of higher
    2. When bosses get weaker, its attacks get stronger
    3. Pokemon Trainers need a Pokemon to cut down a tree, when they can easily get a chainsaw.
    4. There's an infinite amount of bombs in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but you can only obtain four bottles.
    5. You can throw birds with a sling shot at green pigs.
     


  2. AceWarhead

    Member AceWarhead "Must Construct Additional Pylons"

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    -Silencers on guns make them magical silent killing machines
     
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  3. GameWinner

    Member GameWinner Take your heart

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    -You can get drunk off the atmosphere.
     
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  4. Giggtysword344

    Member Giggtysword344 I want some Scum Nyums

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    - You can enslave god itself and make him do your bidding
     
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  5. marcus134

    Member marcus134 GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    - you can get shot,slashed,crushed,minced, etc.. and survive as long as you have some hit point left
    - you can become invisible by hiding under a cardboard box anywhere (even places where there aren't supposed to be cardboard boxes)
     
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  6. Pleng

    Member Pleng GBAtemp Maniac

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    I dunno... if you substitute 'stronger' for 'more desperate' I think it works in real life too...
     
  7. 1NOOB

    Member 1NOOB GBAtemp Fan

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    -reviving items doesnt work for "real/story death" on a character
     
  8. iluvfupaburgers

    Member iluvfupaburgers FUPA Luva

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    you regain your health back after being shot, just standing somewhere you cant get hit
     
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  9. Crystal the Glaceon

    Member Crystal the Glaceon GBAtemp Inkling™ Squishies~

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    -If you hide behind a rock, all your wounds will heal
     
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  10. Snailface

    Member Snailface My frothing demand for 3ds homebrew is increasing

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    Modern video games:

    You are not allowed to fall off ledges.
     
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  11. TwinRetro

    Global Moderator TwinRetro Don't start nothin', Won't be nothin'

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    You can live forever as long as you have a Phoenix Down. Shot, stabbed, mauled or eaten, pop a Phoenix Down and you're good to go! In a cut-scene, though, if someone so much as touches a character with a pointy stick. BAM! Dead forever. Not even Phoenix down cam bring him/her back.
     
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  12. TehSkull

    Member TehSkull Living the life

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    Floating numbers when you kill animals.
     
  13. 324atk

    Member 324atk GBATemp's Personal Chocobo Breeder

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    1. You can shoot yourself with a fake gun and make a devil appear and fight for you.
    2. Characters are easily killed in cutscenes.
    3. Final bosses always have multiple forms.
    4. Every hero in the universe just happened to wear a green hat and tunic... and tights.
    5. The bad guy saying, "Darkness, darkness, darkness, darkness, etc." then the good guy saying "LIGHT!" is the key to any successful RPG.
    6. To quote Brentalfloss, "You're a squirrel who somehow has money, and sometimes swords and shields."

    EDIT: There, finally fix'd
     
  14. Crimsonclaw111

    Member Crimsonclaw111 GBAtemp Fan

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    Inventories are never to scale, pockets are endless, etc.
     
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  15. FrozenIndignatio

    Member FrozenIndignatio Tyrant R. of ye olde Prinny Squad

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    Increasing your strength makes your guns more powerful.

    No one cares if you break pots,

    Your weapons, no matter how much you use them, never break.

    Randomly encountered creatures carry money.

    You instantly absorb any collectible items you walk into.
     
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  16. Snailface

    Member Snailface My frothing demand for 3ds homebrew is increasing

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    I swear, every jrpg I play starts out with an npc int the first town that warns of "monsters mysteriously increasing in the area". :P

    Seriously, why does every evil plot hatched by some "Dark Lord" begin by sending weak enemies your way to help you build experience? A real "Dark Lord" would send his best troops to wipe you out right at the beginning.
     
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  17. iluvfupaburgers

    Member iluvfupaburgers FUPA Luva

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    carry lots of weapons and armory and still be able to move normally
     
  18. TwinRetro

    Global Moderator TwinRetro Don't start nothin', Won't be nothin'

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    Building off of that...

    Carry 299lbs of stuff...moving just fine, nothing I can't handle. 300lbs, NOPE! TOO MUCH! CANT MOVE NOW!
     
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  19. Zarcon

    Former Staff Zarcon .:~Enigmatic Wanderer~:.

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    Being bigger means you're higher.
    Mushrooms make you bigger.
    Mushrooms make you higher.
    Mushrooms make you high.
    ...
    Miyamoto you magnificent bastard.
    @__________________________________@
     
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  20. Taleweaver

    Member Taleweaver Storywriter

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    -someone will always betray you for no reason whatsoever.
    -RPG barbers are blind. Or at least color blind
    -vehicles always explode if you wreck them. Even if you're doing it with your wrists. Yes, this includes tanks.
    -nobody cares you're a mass murdering fighting machine as long as you mow their lawn if they ask you to.
    -incidentally, mowing sufficient people's lawn can make you better at dismantling bombs if you choose to.
    -everyone thinks you a hero because you're trying to save the world. But they only help you if you mow their lawn.
    -you're the only one who actually GETS SHIT DONE (seriously? how can all these NPC's afford their house if, at best, they can walk around in it?)
    -going to your backyard and picking up the sword that's in there isn't "normal"...it's a prophecy that was predicted ages ago.
    -drinking potions instantly and fully heals you from arrows to the knee.
    -magic defies physics, the laws of time, space, conservation of energy and just about anything else you may have ever learned.
    -you pick up things by walking over them.
    -nobody cares if you break all their vases or set fire to their chickens
    -Goomba's can't look up


    ...I could go on and on, really.
     
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