Though I'd explain myself..

thorbre

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For those who have been paying attention (And I know some have), I had this teeny little outburst to put it VERY lightly in the Cemu thread, where I said some things that were not particularly nice. I'm not gonna quote what I said, but the people who read it knows what I'm talking about. I know it seems a little redundant to start a thread just to explain this, but I really want to try to make things right. Although I am not trying to make any excuses for my behavior, I will at least try to explain what triggered it, and why.

This shit is a bit personal, so you'll have to excuse me.. Anyway... Basically, I have been having a very short fuse over the last couple of years for various reasons. I was in a 6 year old relationship with someone who is very manipulative, it was a relationship that was INCREDIBLY draining, you could not even imagine it. The fact that I have not been physical with her, and done something incredibly stupid, even though she has done that to me.. Pinching, biting, hitting, psychological abuse, you name it.. The fact that I resisted the urge to beat the shit out of her, is simply amazing. I'm not even joking, that I was able to control this incredible urge, to have such self control.. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but trust me, I am not, and if you knew her, you would see why.

So what I'm trying to say, is that when you build up such a heavy amount of anger and hate, it is bound to be problematic. Back in January, I got a parking ticket, and I got into a fight with the guy who gave it, and it was so over the top, I asked if he was totally retarded, I flipped the bird, it was so unnecessary. And I felt really bad afterwards, SO fucking bad, and I actually tried to find him, and apologize. This kind of behavior is not something that is usually common with me, in fact, I try to stay away from uncomfortable situations, and not cause them. Granted, that particular time period was devastatingly hard, because my grandmother just died, and my newborn daughter had trouble eating. And I was still in that bad relationship, and I share a kid with her now, and she doesn't want to be a mom all of a sudden.. It's just messed up, but regardless.. I had reasons to be upset at the time, and I have reasons to be upset now, but there's still no excuse for acting that way.

I'm sorry that there was such a long explanation for that stupid stunt I pulled. The tl;dr version is basically.. I apologize for acting like a douche. If you see me acting like this again, then just report my ass. I'm serious, because when I am in that mood, the worst thing you can do, is to reply back. I just turn into a smart ass, and start talking trash. Just leave it alone, and report me, I'll gladly take the consequences.

Thanks for reading my stupid thread.
 
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It's not stupid most people would never had the courage and make small excuses. Don't worry man the temp forgives you <3
 

Engert

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@thorbre good job for having a sense of reflection on your life. I had my moment of clarity a few years ago as well.
Now enjoy life, your daughter and have plenty of vacations. Not sure what your profession is but enjoy what you do, it's important to love and be proud of what you do.
 

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