The Longest Joke in the World

[moozxy]

just got done reading it. I fall into the first group. ^^;

YAY OSAKA'S BACK

HAVE SUM MOOGLES

wtf lol
that was last year you fool

 

[Law]

just got done reading it. I fall into the first group. ^^;

YAY OSAKA'S BACK

HAVE SUM MOOGLES

wtf lol
that was last year you fool

and if it was this year, it would be in the future

 

[Balrogs.Pain]

took up way too much of my time reading this, i got too bored so i skipped when i was only a paragraph away from finishing it. . . boring ending.

 

[xalphax]

Jack got into a fight and his mom got scared, and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.

This is the correct ending, right?

i soooooo expected this.

 

[xcalibur]

wow uber bump

 

[Jdbye]

tl;dr

 

[tabzer]

TLDR, can someone summarize the funny part?

 

[AmandaRose]

This joke was recently used as a personality profile test...

It was the subject of a recent Educational Psychology Master's Thesis, soon to be published, which investigated the way that someone responds to a long peice of text such as this correlates to certain personality tendencies.

The research confirmed a statistically significant correlation which strongly suggests a dependably predictive positive relationship between how a person responds to the joke and certain aspects of his or her psychological profile. Thus, it is called the Personality Profile Assessment Test Hypothesis.

While the actual results looked at several complex factors, and depended heavily on questionnaires filled out by volunteers upon completion of their experience, I will simplify the results by discussing three main groups and their profiles. While these profiles may not be exactly fitting of each person within each group, they do strongly suggest a statistically significant likelihood of profile similarity.


11% of those who had seen the joke take their time, enjoying the joke as they read it, enjoying the build up to the punch line, and even if the punch line itself wasn’t particularly humorous, they tended to enjoy the process.


56% begin to scroll down to the punch line either before starting to read the joke or within a short period of time- usually 20 seconds or less. The vast majority of this group choose not to read the joke.

33% read at least 1/3 of the joke, with the intention of reading it all, but then begin to question their decision and the investment of time they are making. They go back and forth between deciding to continuing or to skip to the end (this vacillating may be unconscious at the time, and happen in a matter of moments). The vast majority in this group give up before finishing ½ of the joke, and scroll to the end.

People in the first group, who read the entire joke, tend to enjoy the journey of life, and take their time as they move towards a goal. When traveling, they tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and are not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to their destination. They also tend to be very attentive, patient and long lasting lovers, and enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

Those in the second group, who scroll to the end before reading more than a few sentences of the joke, tend to avoid surprises and the unknown. They prefer to have a regular schedule and not to step out of their routine. They tend to be efficient, but are often lacking in enjoyment, spontaneity and passion. They tend to be less patient and more interested in the destination than the journey. When on a trip, they tend to focus on getting where they are going, rather than enjoying the process. During intimacy, they tend to not be able to enjoy it unless they are certain it will be taken to completion. The idea of just “playing around” a while, engaging in physical intimacy without the promise of full completion is, rather than simply enjoyable and connective, considered to be “cruel” and a “teasing” and is met with resentment. This group’s ability to enjoy depends largely on their need to know what is going to happen. They tend to be more self-focused lovers, and tend not to last very long in satisfying the other partner if their own satisfaction has happened or is within easy reach.

The third group, who decided not to read the entire joke after reading a third or more of it, tend to be commitment-phobic and lack the ability to move forward to completion when things become challenging. They are often procrastinators and frequently give up on tasks when they become more difficult. They tend to prefer to have big dreams than act on them in the real, challenging world. A significantly higher percentage of this group had Cesarean birth, and may not have had the benefit of that early experience of struggle and effort being rewarded with accomplishment. This group tends to not take big vacations which would take more effort to plan and implement, and tends to stay close to home or even stay home during time off. Promotions and career moves which are within reach but still require some effort and focus are frequently not fully tried for, although the perception will be they were passed up. In intimate relationships, this group tends to start out romantic and passionate, but it quickly fades and is replaced by lackadaisicalness and indifference, characterized in part by a sense of feeling it is not worth the effort to continue having a passionate, energized and complete experience during intimacy. There is a tendency to “peter out” both in intimacy and in other aspects of life, and to take the easier road, even if it leads to a less fulfilling life.

 

[tabzer]

This joke was recently used as a personality profile test...

It was the subject of a recent Educational Psychology Master's Thesis, soon to be published, which investigated the way that someone responds to a long peice of text such as this correlates to certain personality tendencies.

The research confirmed a statistically significant correlation which strongly suggests a dependably predictive positive relationship between how a person responds to the joke and certain aspects of his or her psychological profile. Thus, it is called the Personality Profile Assessment Test Hypothesis.

While the actual results looked at several complex factors, and depended heavily on questionnaires filled out by volunteers upon completion of their experience, I will simplify the results by discussing three main groups and their profiles. While these profiles may not be exactly fitting of each person within each group, they do strongly suggest a statistically significant likelihood of profile similarity.


11% of those who had seen the joke take their time, enjoying the joke as they read it, enjoying the build up to the punch line, and even if the punch line itself wasn’t particularly humorous, they tended to enjoy the process.


56% begin to scroll down to the punch line either before starting to read the joke or within a short period of time- usually 20 seconds or less. The vast majority of this group choose not to read the joke.

33% read at least 1/3 of the joke, with the intention of reading it all, but then begin to question their decision and the investment of time they are making. They go back and forth between deciding to continuing or to skip to the end (this vacillating may be unconscious at the time, and happen in a matter of moments). The vast majority in this group give up before finishing ½ of the joke, and scroll to the end.

People in the first group, who read the entire joke, tend to enjoy the journey of life, and take their time as they move towards a goal. When traveling, they tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and are not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to their destination. They also tend to be very attentive, patient and long lasting lovers, and enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

Those in the second group, who scroll to the end before reading more than a few sentences of the joke, tend to avoid surprises and the unknown. They prefer to have a regular schedule and not to step out of their routine. They tend to be efficient, but are often lacking in enjoyment, spontaneity and passion. They tend to be less patient and more interested in the destination than the journey. When on a trip, they tend to focus on getting where they are going, rather than enjoying the process. During intimacy, they tend to not be able to enjoy it unless they are certain it will be taken to completion. The idea of just “playing around” a while, engaging in physical intimacy without the promise of full completion is, rather than simply enjoyable and connective, considered to be “cruel” and a “teasing” and is met with resentment. This group’s ability to enjoy depends largely on their need to know what is going to happen. They tend to be more self-focused lovers, and tend not to last very long in satisfying the other partner if their own satisfaction has happened or is within easy reach.

The third group, who decided not to read the entire joke after reading a third or more of it, tend to be commitment-phobic and lack the ability to move forward to completion when things become challenging. They are often procrastinators and frequently give up on tasks when they become more difficult. They tend to prefer to have big dreams than act on them in the real, challenging world. A significantly higher percentage of this group had Cesarean birth, and may not have had the benefit of that early experience of struggle and effort being rewarded with accomplishment. This group tends to not take big vacations which would take more effort to plan and implement, and tends to stay close to home or even stay home during time off. Promotions and career moves which are within reach but still require some effort and focus are frequently not fully tried for, although the perception will be they were passed up. In intimate relationships, this group tends to start out romantic and passionate, but it quickly fades and is replaced by lackadaisicalness and indifference, characterized in part by a sense of feeling it is not worth the effort to continue having a passionate, energized and complete experience during intimacy. There is a tendency to “peter out” both in intimacy and in other aspects of life, and to take the easier road, even if it leads to a less fulfilling life.

I started reading and saw that you weren't interested in summarizing the funny part. If we are going to have a relationship, I'd like for you to, at least, address me. Otherwise, it is a one-sided relationship where one just talks over the other.

 

[Vila_]

wow uber bump

hahaha... amateur

For real though, I read the whole thing and honestly it's great, who knew that a 13 year old post would make my day, if you expanded the bits when jake an lil snek traveled around and didn't rush the ending it would be an amazing book...

After reading the whole thing my brain just went on auto pilot and read "better nate than ever" it confused me and didn't really make me laugh untill I scrolled down and saw that the joke was supposed to be "better nate than Lever" and I had forgotten to read the L, I guess ill take it now.

 

[AmandaRose]

I started reading and saw that you weren't interested in summarizing the funny part. If we are going to have a relationship, I'd like for you to, at least, address me. Otherwise, it is a one-sided relationship where one just talks over the other.

I didn't post the funny bit because it would spoil it for anyone who actually read the whole thing. It had nothing to do with ignoring you or anything silly like that. Yes we have had our issues in the past but for me life is far too short for stupid grudges.

 

[slaphappygamer]

(No one said it was the longest FUNNY joke in the world)