Teen Shot Himself in the Nuts, Blames Ninjas

[Gahars]

Normally, I like to post news that's related to gaming or science. You know, the big stories, the ones that may well change everything.

But sometimes, you have to step back and appreciate the little things - specifically, the little things that get blown off.

An Illinois teen who was injured in a shooting Friday is believed to have shot himself, officials said.

The 17-year-old boy from Elmwood Park was taken to Loyola Hospital in Maywood, Ill., with a gunshot wound to his left groin area when he reportedly told police he was shot by two men wearing ninja masks.

Police investigated, talked to witnesses and reviewed surveillance but found no evidence of the attack. The boy, who has gang ties, confessed that he was driving in a car and playing with a gun when it discharged in his lap, the Chicago Tribune reported.

NBC News

Now that's a baller.

I am a little disappointed that it all turned out to be a (not so) elaborate ruse. I don't know about you, but I would feel just a little better living in a world where ninjas practice Tae Kwon Roshambo with firearms. Is that so much to ask for?

Still, I guess you can all take comfort in the fact that you didn't shoot yourself in the groin and blame ninjas. That's good enough, right?

No? Nuts!

 

[GamerzHell9137]

Cool Story Bro

 

[TheDreamLord]

That was a ballsy move.

 

[The Catboy]

I would have blamed aliens.

 

[DSGamer64]

Well, he certainly has the testicular fortitude to shoot himself in the junk.

 

[McHaggis]

I'm sure the police don't appreciate being lied to like that. It's exactly the kind of thing that makes them so testes.

 

[Rizsparky]

Them nintendo ninjas!

 

[McHaggis]

Also, I bet this guy's friends are going to be busting his balls over this for a long time... if he has any left, that is.

 

[retKHAAAN]

Ninjas?!?
That's nuts!

 

[emigre]

Why would a Ninja use a gun? They use blades. Clearly he didn't think his lie through with such a big logic fail.

 

[Psionic Roshambo]

I think I watched a video of this?

Either way I am just glad that a person this dumb has volunteered to leave the gene pool....

Edit: lol

 

[Chary]

Pfffffft. Bwahahaha. This is the best thing I've read in days.

I'm surprised he had the balls to leave the safety off on his gun.

 

[DinohScene]

HAHAH.
Hope his nutsack can't be saved.
Keeps him from procreating another maniac.

 

[WiiUBricker]

I would blame the US government for allowing citizens to have guns. How can the US save the world from terrorism when they even can't save themselves?

 

[Gahars]

I would blame the US government for allowing citizens to have guns. How can the US save the world from terrorism when they even can't save themselves?

If a gun control debate breaks out on a thread titled "Teen Shots Himself in the Nuts, Blames Ninjas" my life will be complete.

 

[2ndApex]

*shoots

 

[DJPlace]

this is nucknig futs!!

 

[Plstic]

Gun laws don't do crap. Go ahead, make more laws. It's not like gang members care or anything.

 

[McHaggis]

If a gun control debate breaks out on a thread titled "Teen Shots Himself in the Nuts, Blames Ninjas" my life will be complete.

I don't think that will happen until the NRA try and pin this on video games.

 

[Hop2089]

Note to Letterman and Leno: I need a joke about this please.