Translation soulja boi becomes jesoos

PineappleGod

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Shrek was walking to the store. He was gonna get a new fidget spinner. He went up to the shop owner and said "Gibe me fidget spinner." The shop owner said "What's the magic word?" "aBRUH caDAB BRUH." Shrek told him "Ok here is your fidget spinner boi." The shop owner told him. Shrek went home. When he got in he started to read the new chapter of a fanfic he was reading about boots x Tony the Tiger x kat and ana x squid sisters x Waluigi. But then he realized that he needed to get a copy of Mario tennis and Wario land for the virtual boy. So he left his house.

Shrek opened the door and walked out of the house. While on his way he saw some generic white girls going to Starbucks talking about Ariana Grande. Shrek walked up to them and told them how 7 rings sounds like pretty boy swag and that pretty boy swag is better than 7 rings. The generic white girls then started talking about their aesthetics which were apparently really stupid and overrated and all the images on their phone looked like they got it from their grandmamas photo album. Then he told them how cancerous fortnite is and than ran away. He went to the game store and got Mario tennis and Wario land for the virtual boy. He then walked into the game store and got the game. He saw a weeaboo nearby looking at the jimmy neutron game he then also picked up a copy of that game too. He paid for the games and left the store. He went home and went on to read boots x Tony the Tiger x kat and ana x squid sisters x Waluigi.

Shrek loved boots x Tony the Tiger x kat and ana x squid sisters x Waluigi so much that he decided to make his own story. He went over to his windows 95 and made a fanfic about his awful ship obonic (Obama and sonic) When he finished he went outside and showed it to people. Everyone praised it for being a great ship. After showing the entire population he went to make another fanfic about an awful ship pro charles (projared and James Charles) But this time the entire population hated it because they don't like projared and James Charles. Then Shrek apologized to the entire population for having them to read his story. They accepted the apology and went in with their lives.

Shrek decided to take a break from making fanfic about an awful ship and take a walk outside. While waking he saw kapp'n giving a villager a ride to the island. Shrek ran over there and and told the villager "KAPPN IS A WEIRD PEDOPHILE SO DONT LISTEN TO HIS SONG." But it was too late, the villager was already out in the ocean. Shrek kept on walking and saw a Macdonalds near by. He went in got in line and then when it was his turn he told the underpaid employee "Hi can I plz get Szechuan sauce plz." The underpaid employee said "Sorry we don't serve that here." Then the underpaid employee roundhouse kicked him outta there. Shrek then went over Burger King and got in line. When it was his turn he said "Hi can I plz have a number 15 Burger King foot lettuce." The underpaid employee said "Sorry we don't serve that here." Then the underpaid employee sucker punched him outta there. Shrek was now going into a downward spiral of depression.

Shrek went to the remains of the local toys r us. He began to cry about the loss. He then got the idea to make a petition to try to get toys r us back. He asked the entire population if they would open up toys r us. The entire population signed the petition. Then Shrek took the petition to Donald Trump. He said "No." This made Shrek very very upset because Donald Trump was his best friend on roblox and he would help him mine the diamonds in Minecraft. "Why won't you allow the toys r us to open again?" Shrek asked. "Because I hate it." Donald Trump said. "The last time I was there I couldn't find the shopkins and now I hate the store." Shrek couldn't believe what he said. "WHAT THE HECK, YOU DONT LIKE TOYS R US." Shrek said. "No." Trump said. "Oh ok, well then goodbye." Shrek said and then left. Shrek was so upset about how Donald Trump hated toys r us. He then remembered how Fiona got a divorce with him and took the kids. He decided that he would enter her home uninvited to see them.

Shrek walked over to Fiona's house. Just as he was walking up Fiona screamed and called the police. Shrek ran as fast as he could out of there and didn't get caught. He saw Waluigi walking by and he asked him "Hey could you plz go to princesses Fiona's house cause she took the kids and I can no longer see her anymore." Waluigi said "Yeah what do you want me to do" Shrek told him "Tell her this message it is on the paper." Waluigi went over to Fiona's house and knocked on the door. She let him in and was ok with him there. He told her the message. If all you epic gamers were wondering what the message said it was "Hey can plz watch family guy for once it is such a good anime (Japanese reality show)" Fiona was mad about the message because she didn't like family guy and thought the simpsons was a better anime (Japanese reality show) She told her kids to track him down and beat him up. Then after that they said "Frick you Shrek you frickking frick family guy is an awful anime (Japanese reality show)" Shrek then was just lying on the concrete helpless. Waluigi saw him and called an ambulance to save him and he was safe.

Shrek was sad without a girl. So decided to download tinder and find a girl. He got matched up with Starfire. A couple days later they decided to meet at a cafe. They enjoyed it and started dating. They were going well together. But OH NO A BIG PLOT TWIST, Starfire was becoming less attached to him. But one day they were supposed to hang out at the mall but statfire didn't come. He got worried. He went to the titans Tower. Starfire was laying on the couch. She told him she got ringworm and never wanted to see him again because she might infect him too. Shrek walked out crying. He devastated about the news. This made his depression worse.

Shrek went to target to get some beans. While there he bumped into the gnome He haven't seen the gnome in a while. He hated the gnome because he wasn't a gnelf or gnoblin. "Hohohohohahahahoho, hello me old chum." The gnome said to shrek. Shrek then suddenly got flashbacks from high school. The gnome spread a rumor about him saying how he hates beanos, even tho he was best friends with him. This made shrek very angry. "How dare you say I hate beanos. He was my best friend, and because of you he unfriended my on roblox and club penguin." Then a fist fight broke out between them. Every watched as they punched and kicked each other. Then Shrek let out one huge punch which sent the gnome flying to the back of the store. Everyone was cheering. Everyone except the manager. He kicked him right out the building for fighting. Shrek went back home without his beans.

Shrek missed donkey and wanted to see how he was. He went to donkey's house but he wasn't there. Only the dragon was there. She told him that donkey went to the store 15 years ago and never came back. She invited him inside the house. When he walked in he saw a bunch of fortnite posters and one of there children playing fortnite screaming ree into his headset. Shrek was disappointed, first his pal had to be gone, and there was fortnite related stuff everywhere. Shrek decided to go outside because there be none of that fortnite bull crap out there. He saw a grave stone of one of there children. It said he died during a trip to Iran. He decided to go back home after that. When he got home he started crying. He was very sad.

Shrek went to Walmart to get his crappy great value soda. When he got to the soda section he couldn't see it. He went to talk with one of the minimum wage employees to see where it went. "Ok buddy, where is the crappy great value soda? I checked the soda section but it wasn't there." Shrek asked. "I don't know, but why don't you try some named brand sodas like Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Dr Pepper, or Fanta. They don't taste like piss and they are available for purchase." The minimum wage employee said. "Let me talk to your manager." Shrek said. He went to the managers office. "Hey there mr manager, why is there no more crappy great value soda for sale." Shrek asked. "We removed them from our catalog because no one bought them because of how they tasted like piss." The manager said. "Do you have any leftover in your inventory that I can have?" Shrek asked. "No." The manager said. "Why not?" Shrek asked. "Because we don't make em anymore, now get out." The manager said. Shrek drove home sobbing, his favorite drink was gone for good.

Shrek was at the local small town anime con where he saw Ness there. He handed him a copy of Donkey Kong CountryReturns for the Wii. Shrek loved the Donkey Kong Country games so he was very happy. When he got home he inserted the disc into his Wii. But when the game started he say le monke. Then all of a sudden he heard "Uh oh stinky" play. Then he went back to Ness's dumpster and punched him in the nuts. Then Ness started to cry. "That was the last thing Paula left before she moved to Bosnia and Herzegovina." Shrek felt disappointed. He didn't know that the disc had such a sad backstory. Shrek sat down and said nice things to him but he was still sad. But then Shrek gave him a Roblox gift card and Ness was happy again in an instant.

Shrek friend Squidward sent Shrek a link to a video. Usually Squidward sent funny videos, but the last time he sent a video it was a baby yoda meme, and Shrek hates baby yoda. He was scared to click the link because it might be something cringe, but he did it for his friend. When he clicked the link, it was hazbin hotel cringe. Shrek was furious, he hated hazbin hotel because it was cringe. He went to Squidward's house. Shrek asked "Why did you send me hazbin hotel cringe??" Squidward said "I love hazbin hotel and I thought that if you saw then you would enjoy it too." Shrek unfriended him.

Shrek was playing tomodachi life. In the game he got into a fight with Howie the dog (from almost naked animals) Shrek made most of his choices from that game, like if he would eat moldy bread in the game, he would eat moldy bread irl. But him and Howie were really close friends, but Shrek didn't care. So he went to the Banana Cabana and found Howie. "Howie you are a poo poo head." Shrek yelled. "Oh yea, you must be from loser town, because you're a loser." Howie screamed. Shrek then started throwing stuff at Howie. Then Howie started throwing stuff at Shrek. Then Shrek snapped, he got out his gun and started shooting at Howie, and shot him in the leg. "Shrek. Please stop shooting at me I didn't do anything wrong." Howie asked. Shrek then left. He avoided everyday after that.

Shrek was minding his own business at Chuck E. cheese with his friend Peter Griffin. Just then, an SJW started yelling at them. "Ew, I see a straight white male." Peter was furious. "Roadhouse." Peter said. He started kicking her. Shrek knee that violence was never the right choice, but he didn't want to lose a friend because he told him to stop. Then the SJW started to call her SJW army to destroy him. They asked him a bunch of dumb questions. "How does it feel being the same gender as Donald Trump?" " Why do you always manspread?" " Why do you call girls sluts?" Peter didn't know how to answer them, so they started to beat him up. Shrek knee he had to stop them, so he called 911. The police came to break up the fight, and Peter was taken to the hospital. Shrek visited him in the hospital and he had a small chance of surviving. "Shrek, this may be the last time you'll see me, so goodbye." Peter told him sadly. "NOOOO, Peter you can't leave me, you are my friend." Shrek cried. But it was too late, and he died.

Shrek was watching some movies while he was in quarantine. Then he got a call from someone he didn't know. "Go to the ally near the chick fill a, I have a surprise for you." Shrek knew he should be at home by himself, but he really wanted to know what the surprise was. He got to the ally and saw someone wearing dark clothes, it was 11:00 PM and he couldn't see that much. The dark man walked up to him and coughed in his face. "I have corona." The man told him. "Now you have it I think." Shrek was devastated by the news. He ran home crying and locked his door so no more creepy people can get in.

Shrek was home quarantining himself. Of course he had nothing to do and was bored out of his mind. Until he remembered about movie star planet and how much fun that game was so he logged on his computer and got on. He went to log into his account but it said his account didn't exist. So he typed it again, still incorrect. He kept on typing it in for while, he couldn't make a new account because he got his account back in 2012 so it had a lot of stuff on it and he was a member. An hour later he gave up and made a new account. He did the whole set up and finally made his account. Once he got his log in gifts he got on a chat room. Not many were there but he saw something horrible, online dating. He saw a girl named Xxgamer_girl234xX talking to cool.emo.dude666 and they were saying things that made him uncomfortable, so he reported both of them. "Hey I reported you." Shrek told them. Then cool.emo.dude666 started saying mean things like "kill yourself" to shrek and left. Shrek then tracked down cool.emo.dude's location and entered his house. In the room there was a fat 40 something year old with stains on his shirt and poorly shaved facial hair. Shrek knew what was going on, the guy was saying that he was 12 so he can fool little girls so he can smash them. He called the police and he was arrested. "Good job shrek. You stopped a very bad person." The police happily told him.
 

PineappleGod

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