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- May 21, 2009
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I haven't made a blog article in a while, so I thought I'd let one out.
I often have this cocky, fun aura about me, in real life and on the internet - always using superlatives to describe myself. I'm the smartest, I'm the sexiest, I'm the best - hell, when I sign anything in real life, I sign it "[Name] the Super Awesome and Sexy [Last Name]". Unfortunately, the truth is that I'm one of the least suited for any of these titles, so much so, that it seems that the only possible position in society that I am eligible for is that which a trained monkey could do: retail. Often nine-hour days, I stand behind a counter, watching the clock count down, often only having a customer every hour and a half or so, and then just hold items up to a light, and count with numbers up to 20.
Whining aside, it seems more and more frequent that I contemplate suicide. It's only natural that life can get better, but the question is "will mine?" Already too late to back out, I have student loans to pay off when I get out of college, be it my current, or when/if I transfer, so there goes part of my food budget, assuming I'll be able to keep a job, with classes, with mandatory internships to graduate. Even when I do graduate, what guarantees are there that I'll find a job, especially if the market doesn't improve? Slim-to-none?
The only thing that really makes me happy anymore (aside from a surprisingly witty pun), is my girlfriend, and we all know how fickle people can be. She need only consider any other options that she might move on. I'm poor, hairy, outwardly cocky, and frankly, clingy. She has a plethora of other options, any of which are going to be better than what she has now.
Whatever.
tl;dr: Monkat's gone emo.
Ps: the title was a reference to this link.
I often have this cocky, fun aura about me, in real life and on the internet - always using superlatives to describe myself. I'm the smartest, I'm the sexiest, I'm the best - hell, when I sign anything in real life, I sign it "[Name] the Super Awesome and Sexy [Last Name]". Unfortunately, the truth is that I'm one of the least suited for any of these titles, so much so, that it seems that the only possible position in society that I am eligible for is that which a trained monkey could do: retail. Often nine-hour days, I stand behind a counter, watching the clock count down, often only having a customer every hour and a half or so, and then just hold items up to a light, and count with numbers up to 20.
Whining aside, it seems more and more frequent that I contemplate suicide. It's only natural that life can get better, but the question is "will mine?" Already too late to back out, I have student loans to pay off when I get out of college, be it my current, or when/if I transfer, so there goes part of my food budget, assuming I'll be able to keep a job, with classes, with mandatory internships to graduate. Even when I do graduate, what guarantees are there that I'll find a job, especially if the market doesn't improve? Slim-to-none?
The only thing that really makes me happy anymore (aside from a surprisingly witty pun), is my girlfriend, and we all know how fickle people can be. She need only consider any other options that she might move on. I'm poor, hairy, outwardly cocky, and frankly, clingy. She has a plethora of other options, any of which are going to be better than what she has now.
Whatever.
tl;dr: Monkat's gone emo.
Ps: the title was a reference to this link.
