Masturbation, farts, and men.

Rydian

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Names changed to protect the innocent.

sjaopert: I could TMI you so bad right now... I value our friendship so I won't.
galphenos: I live with a person who describes his shits.
sjaopert: Your choice. So... when I masturbate, I'm very picky about my pr0n so it usually takes me an hour or two to do it online; most of the time is spent sorting through images.
sjaopert: Of course when I'm done I'm pretty sweaty.
sjaopert: And it pools in the butt crack, of course.
galphenos: Oh of course!
sjaopert: So what I do is take toilet paper, roll it out long, fold it in half twice, then pad my crack with it. Letting butt-sweat get on stuff is unacceptable!
sjaopert: Side note: yes I don't know how I'm going to deal with it when I have sex. Last time I had sex I was 17 so the "still awkward and just an oversweaty teen in general" excuse still worked. Now at 25 I don't know if that will take.
sjaopert: So anyway I'm sitting here re-dressed, toilet paper still padding my ass ('cause you continue to sweat for a bit after exertion or warmth the same way a cake or pizza continues to cook just a bit from it's own residual heat when you take it out of the oven) 'cause I never did bother to take it out because of this one crazy optical illusion we were just talking about getting me all distracted for an hour...
sjaopert: I just ripped ass so loud it might have woken the neighbors.
sjaopert: Needless to say on any given day a man would be impressed (even only privately to himself) with such a feat... but then I remembered that I was still padded: what I heard was actually muffled!
sjaopert: I feel like I'm king of the world right now. I could cock-smack a moose and it's head would fly off.
sjaopert: End of story.
galphenos: I lol'ed.
galphenos: I enjoy the fact that guys have the 'biggest busting of ass is king' theory, and how even me being a guy who is analyzing this statement... can't recall any times where I've farted, and not thought 'eh, could be bigger', or just sat there with that... '^_^' face on, as it linguered.
sjaopert: I think it's how men tend to think babies are ugly, but their own mothers always think they're the cutest things on the planet. Farts are man-babies.
 

rastsan

8 baller, Death Wizard,
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Welcome to the world of gay men and anal sex. You pump and pump and that ass gets filled with gas. Becuase of what was being done loud farts are a matter for course. I am not impressed as this has happened to me -either myself or someone I was with- so may times...

and as to the sweat-y-ness you really do not have to worry. As a man who has had sex quite literally 5 to 6 times (minimum) a day for over over 3-4 years YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Sweat-i-ness happens to alot of people.
Even funnier there are whole chat-rooms devoted to people looking for sweaty f--kers. You just haven't looked hard enough or need to get over your shyness.
I'd go to work on the way have sex... At work just before I start... on my first break (with a customer)...
on my lunch sometimes it would be a threesome... then just after work with the one manager across the way (god she was hot and flexible)... and I would pick someone up on the way home (sometimes they would spend the night)...
Of all the times I have had sex I never really thought god thats way too much sweat, it was more damn this is getting slick mmm damn. Only one person I can remember had a problem - more "you sure your not grossed out over my sweat?" I was actually turned on and pointed it out any one who cares about sweat is probably someone looking for an excuse to just get off then get out BEFORE YOU GET OFF - those people are ass-holes. sweat happpens during sexual activity it a natural response from your body - you know pheremones- being against that is just being stupid.

Oh and you could always turn the temp down - and make them have to come to you for warmth - which either way is win win...
 

Searinox

Dances with Dragons
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I'm very picky about my pr0n so it usually takes me an hour or two to do it online; most of the time is spent sorting through images.

Most ppl paw to vids. Lemme guess... furry? XD

If so then I ain't surprised. I've had my share of ...intriguing ppl. 8D
 
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