Names changed to protect the innocent.
sjaopert: I could TMI you so bad right now... I value our friendship so I won't.
galphenos: I live with a person who describes his shits.
sjaopert: Your choice. So... when I masturbate, I'm very picky about my pr0n so it usually takes me an hour or two to do it online; most of the time is spent sorting through images.
sjaopert: Of course when I'm done I'm pretty sweaty.
sjaopert: And it pools in the butt crack, of course.
galphenos: Oh of course!
sjaopert: So what I do is take toilet paper, roll it out long, fold it in half twice, then pad my crack with it. Letting butt-sweat get on stuff is unacceptable!
sjaopert: Side note: yes I don't know how I'm going to deal with it when I have sex. Last time I had sex I was 17 so the "still awkward and just an oversweaty teen in general" excuse still worked. Now at 25 I don't know if that will take.
sjaopert: So anyway I'm sitting here re-dressed, toilet paper still padding my ass ('cause you continue to sweat for a bit after exertion or warmth the same way a cake or pizza continues to cook just a bit from it's own residual heat when you take it out of the oven) 'cause I never did bother to take it out because of this one crazy optical illusion we were just talking about getting me all distracted for an hour...
sjaopert: I just ripped ass so loud it might have woken the neighbors.
sjaopert: Needless to say on any given day a man would be impressed (even only privately to himself) with such a feat... but then I remembered that I was still padded: what I heard was actually muffled!
sjaopert: I feel like I'm king of the world right now. I could cock-smack a moose and it's head would fly off.
sjaopert: End of story.
galphenos: I lol'ed.
galphenos: I enjoy the fact that guys have the 'biggest busting of ass is king' theory, and how even me being a guy who is analyzing this statement... can't recall any times where I've farted, and not thought 'eh, could be bigger', or just sat there with that... '
' face on, as it linguered.
sjaopert: I think it's how men tend to think babies are ugly, but their own mothers always think they're the cutest things on the planet. Farts are man-babies.
galphenos: I live with a person who describes his shits.
sjaopert: Your choice. So... when I masturbate, I'm very picky about my pr0n so it usually takes me an hour or two to do it online; most of the time is spent sorting through images.
sjaopert: Of course when I'm done I'm pretty sweaty.
sjaopert: And it pools in the butt crack, of course.
galphenos: Oh of course!
sjaopert: So what I do is take toilet paper, roll it out long, fold it in half twice, then pad my crack with it. Letting butt-sweat get on stuff is unacceptable!
sjaopert: Side note: yes I don't know how I'm going to deal with it when I have sex. Last time I had sex I was 17 so the "still awkward and just an oversweaty teen in general" excuse still worked. Now at 25 I don't know if that will take.
sjaopert: So anyway I'm sitting here re-dressed, toilet paper still padding my ass ('cause you continue to sweat for a bit after exertion or warmth the same way a cake or pizza continues to cook just a bit from it's own residual heat when you take it out of the oven) 'cause I never did bother to take it out because of this one crazy optical illusion we were just talking about getting me all distracted for an hour...
sjaopert: I just ripped ass so loud it might have woken the neighbors.
sjaopert: Needless to say on any given day a man would be impressed (even only privately to himself) with such a feat... but then I remembered that I was still padded: what I heard was actually muffled!
sjaopert: I feel like I'm king of the world right now. I could cock-smack a moose and it's head would fly off.
sjaopert: End of story.
galphenos: I lol'ed.
galphenos: I enjoy the fact that guys have the 'biggest busting of ass is king' theory, and how even me being a guy who is analyzing this statement... can't recall any times where I've farted, and not thought 'eh, could be bigger', or just sat there with that... '
' face on, as it linguered.sjaopert: I think it's how men tend to think babies are ugly, but their own mothers always think they're the cutest things on the planet. Farts are man-babies.
