Lonely...Hopefully someone can help me out...

[Princess Rozalin]

I have a little problem....Well it's been going on for a while but it never bothered me till today...Anyways since I was little Mom and Dad were together but they always would fight (as in words) but since I was I think 10 Year old my dad left out of my Life he's still married to my Mom but he never comes to see me he only comes if mom ask for a Favor such as painting our Apartment or moving (things like that) Anyways...I remember when me and my dad used to spend time we use to go on trips we used to play DS games together (Pokemon Battle,Yu-gi-oh!,Megaman etc etc) whether on GBA,DS,PS2 we used to play anytime on whatever console but what I mean we used to spend time together....Now I'm 19 and anytime I ask to spend time together he always tell me he's busy or he's tired or sometimes he says he's coming but then later he doesn't come and when I call him he says he forgot or he wasn't feeling well...I just think My Father doesn't Love me anymore...same thing with my mom only she lives with me and takes care of me but Most of the time she's at work and when she gets home she's tiredand when I even ask for at least 15 mins to play something she always tells me she's tired.....

Lately I just feel lonely in this world...Like no one cares...I'm just a Lonely gamer the only thing that actually stops me from doing something Stupid is my Games and My Best Friend (in real life) I been playing games since the Nintendo and Sega Genesis...Anyways I'm just wondering am I selfish for asking for my parents to spend time with me? Is it my fault that they wont spend time with me? And is there something I can do to get my old father who used to spend time with him because I'm sick of his excuses....

Sorry but I needed to vent this out because I was tired of holding it in...

Thank you for listening...

 

[rock7]

Unfortunately people today are so busy that they forget to live with people that really love, try to remember his parents the good times you spent together, maybe they can remember, and spend more time with you

I hope I have helped you

 

[BobTheJoeBob]

Why don't you go out to see him instead of him having to travel to you? Just a suggestion.

 

[Princess Rozalin]

Why don't you go out to see him instead of him having to travel to you? Just a suggestion.

@rock7: Thank you for your response

@BobTheJoeBob: Because I did before once in a while I do...But I shouldn't have to besides he lives with his mom who everytime starts a fight with me for no reason...

 

[Shinigami357]

I kind of have the same problem. You know, there will always be that time in a child's life that he or she will realize that parents are people too. They have problems same as everyone else, and sometimes they can't solve those problems either. I can understand you grew up and got used to your dad being there, but if he isn't right now, allow him space. Just treasure the time you spend with them, because I'm sure it's not just you that's feeling let down because of the situation, so are they.

It's kind of flipped out to say, but sometimes it's the children who have to be there for them when they're not happy, and share their joy when they are. Props to you because you actually care about them and the time you spend together; other people just walk out of the house and leave them be, you know? Though I guess having a few more friends who can be there for you would help you a lot right now.

Hope this helped you [though I didn't understand half of what I was typing].

 

[[M]artin]

The thought of your parents not loving you anymore is simply absurd and you should never allow it to cross your mind twice. Your parents created you, you are a product of their once strong relationship, their legacy and imprint into a new generation. I don't believe that your parents can ever stop loving you truly, no matter what the current situation may be, but that's just my opinion.

I know what its like to come from a split home like that, and although it may be tough, you need to appreciate what kind of relationships you do have. Consider this: perhaps your mother is really exhausted after a long day of work and just wants to come home and relax before having to sleep, wake up, and do it all again. Although video games may be your passion, perhaps she wants to endulge in some of her hobbies in the little time she has available, or simply just relax?

Although your parents may not want to play with you, there are other ways of keeping the relationship strong. Find out what your mom likes to do. I would suggest simply asking her how her day was, or striking up a conversation about a TV show or something that she likes. Spark a conversation about something she likes and is knowledgeable in, and listen to her, respond to her, engage in a conversation with her.

If your father doesn't respond to your calls, just leave messages, let him know that you just wanna talk about life and stuff, maybe go out for a cup of coffee and see how things are going on his end and vice-versa. Just ask if he could spare an hour to just talk over some take-out or something.

Hope this helps, stay strong buddy!

 

[Ravager90]

Got that perfect solution for you: Get a boyfriend that loves you as much as your parents did some time ago.
Girl, you're already 19 years old, I moved out of my parents house and life when I was 18.
Just go out enjoy time and you might find that perfectly suited person you might want to love as much as you do your parents.

 

[machomuu]

Got that perfect solution for you: Get a boyfriend that loves you as much as your parents did some time ago.
Girl, you're already 19 years old, I moved out of my parents house and life when I was 18.
Just go out enjoy time and you might find that perfectly suited person you might want to love as much as you do your parents.

But paternal love isn't the same as romantic love. I'd say in a sense Paternal love should come first.

 

[Princess Rozalin]

Got that perfect solution for you: Get a boyfriend that loves you as much as your parents did some time ago.
Girl, you're already 19 years old, I moved out of my parents house and life when I was 18.
Just go out enjoy time and you might find that perfectly suited person you might want to love as much as you do your parents.

But paternal love isn't the same as romantic love. I'd say in a sense Paternal love should come first.

Shinigami357: I see...Thank you...I appreciate your answer

M artin: Thanks for the advice...I really appreciate your time to look at my problem and try to help me

Ravager90: Not the same...Do I have to metioned I have had Relationship problems too

machomuu: Yes...Very true I'm glad you understand

 

[_Chaz_]

Just because they don't play games with you, doesn't mean they don't care.
You're 19, it's time to understand that your parents aren't going to be able to drop what they're doing or get a sudden burst of energy to play video games with you.

 

[Princess Rozalin]

Just because they don't play games with you, doesn't mean they don't care.
You're 19, it's time to understand that your parents aren't going to be able to drop what they're doing or get a sudden burst of energy to play video games with you.

... You don't get it...They been doing this since I was 10 it didn't bother me at first but now itt's been because I'm just sick of it and it's not playing games it's spending time simple as that...I hardly talk to them anymore or even do anything like I used to before...Just because i'm 19 doesn't mean they have to stop caring about me or spending time right..?

 

[machomuu]

Maybe he's scared that he'll lose you. I mean, I understand that he is avoiding you, but he may think that his spending time with you will be detrimental to your relationship in some way. It's possible, because he's fighting with your mother, and you live with her, thus he may be scared that you might confront him about something he truly doesn't want to talk/argue about.

 

[iggloovortex]

*snip

so listen. as it would turn out, you and i are in the same exact position.
my dad also left when i was young, and my mom is always tired from working 2 jobs.
most definitely your parents love you. your dad probably has a lot going on that you dont know about like mine, and your mom is literally just tired from work so that its hard to find time to spend with you. I promise you that if your parents didnt love you your dad wouldnt even bother to come around those few times when he is asked of something. lucky for you that he does, my dad doesnt come around for anything.

So dont fret, your parents do love you, although it may not seem like it. and for when you're feeling lonely find friends from school who you can hang out with

 

[_Chaz_]

Just because they don't play games with you, doesn't mean they don't care.
You're 19, it's time to understand that your parents aren't going to be able to drop what they're doing or get a sudden burst of energy to play video games with you.

... You don't get it...They been doing this since I was 10 it didn't bother me at first but now itt's been because I'm just sick of it and it's not playing games it's spending time simple as that...I hardly talk to them anymore or even do anything like I used to before...Just because i'm 19 doesn't mean they have to stop caring about me or spending time right..?

Like I said, it doesn't mean that they don't care.

 

[Ritsuki]

Maybe you should... I don't know. Tell them ?

It's not your fault. I understand how you feel, my dad started to work abroad when I was 6. So I only see him once a year or when he has something to do near Switzerland. And 4 years ago (I was 17), my mom got homesick, so she decided to return in our homeland. Now I live with 2 of my brothers. The first year, I was inconciously trying to replace this lack of affection with food, alchool and spending money for useless things (I was drunk every wednesday night, plus sometimes the weekend). Then I talked a bit with my sister, cried, and enerything got better. I just wanted someone who tell me 'it's ok, I'm here.' I felt like I was abandonned but it wasn't the case at all. The problem was that I told no one how I felt, and that was my mistake. Now I try to speak with my parents at least once a week, and everything is fine

I know that they are not with me because they trust me, and they know that I can manage this now. They have their own problem to deal with, and as a son I must understand that.

 

[Princess Rozalin]

Maybe you should... I don't know. Tell them ?

It's not your fault. I understand how you feel, my dad started to work abroad when I was 6. So I only see him once a year or when he has something to do near Switzerland. And 4 years ago (I was 17), my mom got homesick, so she decided to return in our homeland. Now I live with 2 of my brothers. The first year, I was inconciously trying to replace this lack of affection with food, alchool and spending money for useless things (I was drunk every wednesday night, plus sometimes the weekend). Then I talked a bit with my sister, cried, and enerything got better. I just wanted someone who tell me 'it's ok, I'm here.' I felt like I was abandonned but it wasn't the case at all. The problem was that I told no one how I felt, and that was my mistake. Now I try to speak with my parents at least once a week, and everything is fine

I know that they are not with me because they trust me, and they know that I can manage this now. They have their own problem to deal with, and as a son I must understand that.

machomuu: I really don't think thats the problem...I mean he has gone through a lot of crap in his life...his drug issues and his epilepsy problem...

iggloovortex: Thanks for your reply I feel a bit better

_Chaz_: It sometimes feel like it...But thanks for replying appreciate it

Ritsuki: I actually tried to tell him and he promises to do it but he never does...as for Mom she always says next day or another day just to get me off her back...But thanks for your reply I appreciate you for taking your time to listen to my problems