I thought this up last night

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Janthran, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    Darwin is shopping for suits, but none of them fit properly. He walks up to an employee and asks "Hey, don't you guys have a more natural selection?"

    It'll get better, just give it time
     
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  2. Ammako

    Ammako GBAtemp Guru

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    Warning: Spoilers inside!
     
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  3. Black-Ice

    Black-Ice Founder of the Church of Renamon

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    ..............................
     
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  4. Xuphor

    Xuphor I have lied to all of you. I am deeply sorry.

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    :unsure: I get it, it's just not funny.
     
  5. Flame

    Flame Me > You

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    Jesus is shopping for suits, but none of them fit properly. He walks up to an employee and asks "im rich bitch from all the fools who donate money in churches and shit, give me your finest stuart hughes suit"

    It'll get better, just give it time
     
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  6. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    1. This is a joke, not a religious statement
    2. The "It'll get better" part was a joke about evolution
     
  7. BORTZ

    BORTZ Neighborhood Friendly

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    Well, with a joke like that, you can only get better so... OP better deliver.
     
  8. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    Jesus is out shopping for suits. Liking one particularly snazzy outfit, he tries to ask a sales clerk how much it costs. She is preoccupied with her phone, however, and never answers his question. His not-so infinite patience having found its limit, he yells, his voice imbued with the sound of thunder, "Woman, I demand you pay me heed this instant!"

    Nonplussed, the clerk turns to him and says, "Sir, don't get cross with me."

    Just then a battalion of Roman soldiers break into the store, locate Jesus, and proceed to beat him senseless. When they've had enough, they crucify him and drag him to a nearby hill, where he will later perish to redeem mankind for all our sins.

    ...I admit, I'm still working on the punchline.
     
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  9. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

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    I forgot
    You already have your punchline!
     
  10. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    I do? Thank God - I thought I was really in a cruci-fix.
     
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  11. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    Yours was better, but Jesus was a pretty patient guy
     
  12. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    Not in the cleansing of the temple he wasn't.

    The cleansing of the discount rack follows the same principle.
     
  13. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    I don't think it really does. This really doesn't need to be a religious debate thread, though.
     
  14. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    We're debating religion now?

    I'm just saying, there's a biblical precedent for Jesus losing his cool, and so the basis of the joke (as obviously exaggerated as it may be) has some merit.
     
  15. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    It's all contextual really. Dang, today is a bad punday. I have nothing. Hang on a minute
     
  16. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    "I nailed it." (or some variation on that)

    It's on the house.
     
  17. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    Dangit, Gahars! Now I can't do that one.

    hope you're getting paid well for this betrayal. <bad
     
  18. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    It was a dirty thirty.
     
  19. Janthran
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    Janthran Solarian

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    Go hang yourself on a tree

    Offtopic: Just how much of the Bible have you read?
     
  20. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    That'll be good for the Treemium Rush.

    Genesis, Exodus, Job, Matthew/Luke (can't quite remember which), some of Ecclesiastes, and a few other assorted parts here and there. I might also be forgetting one or two. Plus, there's what I just pick up from film/literature/etc.