That’s a moodIDK blackout for 14 years, crisis for 3 years ate bread for 2, and 1 more year of blackout and here we are
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2019
- Messages
- 328
- Trophies
- 2
- Age
- 18
- Location
- $C000-CFFF
- Website
- randommeaninglesscharacters.com
- XP
- 5,188
- Country
Ever since grade 6 or I wanted to be a girl. I thought that it wasn't "normal", so I just pushed it all away. Occasionally the feelings would resurface and I would push them away again. Thoughts like those seemed silly and dumb. I didn't like them much and just kinda forgot about them.
Then in 2020 it was just me and my mind, holed up in my room with nothing to do. I started to get really depressed and didn't know why (only a small part of it was the isolation). For months I couldn't put my finger on why exactly I was feeling like shit. Eventually I figured out that I had this frustrating feeling like I wasn't me.
It was like who I and everyone thought I was just didn't quite fit. I knew who I was, but I felt like I wasn't who knew I was. I tried distracting myself with different hobbies thinking that maybe I had changed too much over time and that everything I used to do and build my identity over just wasn't fun anymore. The feelings still persisted.
Then at around a year ago a couple of people I knew came out as trans. Something about that made the old thought of wanting to be a girl resurface. It made sense for a moment, then I shrugged it off as some dumb and wrong thought. But that feeling kept coming up, more and more. Nearly every day it haunted my mind. Something suddenly snapped and I stopped trying to forget it. I finally seriously thought about the fact that maybe I was trans.
For many months I completely withdrew from everything, spending every waking moment thinking about the question. I knew deep down that I was trans, and everything pointed towards that, but I couldn't help but try to again and again prove I was cis. Eventually I just kinda accepted I was trans. Thought a bit more about specifics, and that was that.
Then in 2020 it was just me and my mind, holed up in my room with nothing to do. I started to get really depressed and didn't know why (only a small part of it was the isolation). For months I couldn't put my finger on why exactly I was feeling like shit. Eventually I figured out that I had this frustrating feeling like I wasn't me.
It was like who I and everyone thought I was just didn't quite fit. I knew who I was, but I felt like I wasn't who knew I was. I tried distracting myself with different hobbies thinking that maybe I had changed too much over time and that everything I used to do and build my identity over just wasn't fun anymore. The feelings still persisted.
Then at around a year ago a couple of people I knew came out as trans. Something about that made the old thought of wanting to be a girl resurface. It made sense for a moment, then I shrugged it off as some dumb and wrong thought. But that feeling kept coming up, more and more. Nearly every day it haunted my mind. Something suddenly snapped and I stopped trying to forget it. I finally seriously thought about the fact that maybe I was trans.
For many months I completely withdrew from everything, spending every waking moment thinking about the question. I knew deep down that I was trans, and everything pointed towards that, but I couldn't help but try to again and again prove I was cis. Eventually I just kinda accepted I was trans. Thought a bit more about specifics, and that was that.
Gender was very complicated for me... Throughout my life I've always preferred "boy stuff" over "girl stuff", thought I should've been born a boy, drew myself as a boy, etc. but I always just thought I was a tomboy. Just a couple of years ago I found out what it meant to be non-binary, and thought that was who I was. Alternated between a lot of different labels because I was so confused (and yes, pronouns were equally as confusing. Even went by neopronouns at some point!) Then I realised how much I loved it when people 'mistook' me for a boy. That's when I found out that I am a boy.
As for romantic orientation, it's funny because I've identified with every single label in 'LGBT' at one point... When I thought I was a girl, I thought I was a lesbian (mainly because my teacher described me as not liking boys... oh how wrong she was). Right now, I think/know/whatever I'm gay, but I don't really care about it currently. At some point, I've thought I was bisexual. And lastly, I'm trans. So I think that's funny.
Currently, I don't really care about labels and, honestly, I don't really refer to myself as trans in places I'm not really that sure about. Just so people won't use that against me. Here is okay though. And it's not like I'm completely against calling myself trans... How else would I meet people like me, you know?
As for romantic orientation, it's funny because I've identified with every single label in 'LGBT' at one point... When I thought I was a girl, I thought I was a lesbian (mainly because my teacher described me as not liking boys... oh how wrong she was). Right now, I think/know/whatever I'm gay, but I don't really care about it currently. At some point, I've thought I was bisexual. And lastly, I'm trans. So I think that's funny.
Currently, I don't really care about labels and, honestly, I don't really refer to myself as trans in places I'm not really that sure about. Just so people won't use that against me. Here is okay though. And it's not like I'm completely against calling myself trans... How else would I meet people like me, you know?
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
- Messages
- 4,007
- Trophies
- 2
- Age
- 67
- Location
- On the Patio NaKeD w/COFFEE
- XP
- 13,505
- Country
Gender was very complicated for me... Throughout my life I've always preferred "boy stuff" over "girl stuff", thought I should've been born a boy, drew myself as a boy, etc. but I always just thought I was a tomboy. Just a couple of years ago I found out what it meant to be non-binary, and thought that was who I was. Alternated between a lot of different labels because I was so confused (and yes, pronouns were equally as confusing. Even went by neopronouns at some point!) Then I realised how much I loved it when people 'mistook' me for a boy. That's when I found out that I am a boy.
As for romantic orientation, it's funny because I've identified with every single label in 'LGBT' at one point... When I thought I was a girl, I thought I was a lesbian (mainly because my teacher described me as not liking boys... oh how wrong she was). Right now, I think/know/whatever I'm gay, but I don't really care about it currently. At some point, I've thought I was bisexual. And lastly, I'm trans. So I think that's funny.
Currently, I don't really care about labels and, honestly, I don't really refer to myself as trans in places I'm not really that sure about. Just so people won't use that against me. Here is okay though. And it's not like I'm completely against calling myself trans... How else would I meet people like me, you know?
Ever since grade 6 or I wanted to be a girl. I thought that it wasn't "normal", so I just pushed it all away. Occasionally the feelings would resurface and I would push them away again. Thoughts like those seemed silly and dumb. I didn't like them much and just kinda forgot about them.
Then in 2020 it was just me and my mind, holed up in my room with nothing to do. I started to get really depressed and didn't know why (only a small part of it was the isolation). For months I couldn't put my finger on why exactly I was feeling like shit. Eventually I figured out that I had this frustrating feeling like I wasn't me.
It was like who I and everyone thought I was just didn't quite fit. I knew who I was, but I felt like I wasn't who knew I was. I tried distracting myself with different hobbies thinking that maybe I had changed too much over time and that everything I used to do and build my identity over just wasn't fun anymore. The feelings still persisted.
Then at around a year ago a couple of people I knew came out as trans. Something about that made the old thought of wanting to be a girl resurface. It made sense for a moment, then I shrugged it off as some dumb and wrong thought. But that feeling kept coming up, more and more. Nearly every day it haunted my mind. Something suddenly snapped and I stopped trying to forget it. I finally seriously thought about the fact that maybe I was trans.
For many months I completely withdrew from everything, spending every waking moment thinking about the question. I knew deep down that I was trans, and everything pointed towards that, but I couldn't help but try to again and again prove I was cis. Eventually I just kinda accepted I was trans. Thought a bit more about specifics, and that was that.
Welcome to our Community
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2019
- Messages
- 1,285
- Trophies
- 1
- Age
- 22
- Location
- 米国
- Website
- xn--rck9c.xn--tckwe
- XP
- 3,905
- Country
I remember wishing I was a girl since at least around the start of puberty (quite literally lol, one of the few things I remember from middle school age is wishing I was a girl at a fountain then being terrified for like the next month how I'd explain it if I grew boobs)
I didn't realize I was trans though until 2019 cause I simply had zero idea that was a real thing real people could do in real life, despite being quite familiar with TG comics lol
I found out about being trans being a thing when I was reading an old friend's reddit historyyes I'm that kinda person and saw /r/egg_irl... never really had a denial phase, as soon as I realized being trans was a thing I was like yeah that's me, though it did take like 3 years for me to actually work up the confidence to start transitioning
(Haven't talked to that friend since high school, got real egg vibes from them but last I saw they were going hard right wing politically...)
I didn't realize I was trans though until 2019 cause I simply had zero idea that was a real thing real people could do in real life, despite being quite familiar with TG comics lol
I found out about being trans being a thing when I was reading an old friend's reddit history
(Haven't talked to that friend since high school, got real egg vibes from them but last I saw they were going hard right wing politically...)
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
- Messages
- 4,007
- Trophies
- 2
- Age
- 67
- Location
- On the Patio NaKeD w/COFFEE
- XP
- 13,505
- Country
I remember wishing I was a girl since at least around the start of puberty (quite literally lol, one of the few things I remember from middle school age is wishing I was a girl at a fountain then being terrified for like the next month how I'd explain it if I grew boobs)
I didn't realize I was trans though until 2019 cause I simply had zero idea that was a real thing real people could do in real life, despite being quite familiar with TG comics lol
I found out about being trans being a thing when I was reading an old friend's reddit historyyes I'm that kinda personand saw /r/egg_irl... never really had a denial phase, as soon as I realized being trans was a thing I was like yeah that's me, though it did take like 3 years for me to actually work up the confidence to start transitioning
(Haven't talked to that friend since high school, got real egg vibes from them but last I saw they were going hard right wing politically...)
Sorry for your friends doing that.
But here, WE are with You.
WELCOME to Our Community
I've always been a little feminine... not that i'm trans, but i guess i'm non-conformist? Still figuring out yet, but male nouns always worked just fine for me.
Anyway, i slowly started to notice and accept that i liked boys too. When i was a kid most of my favorite anime, cartoon and videogames characters weren't the most badass overpowered buffed up dudes like my male friends, but the ones that i found attractive somehow, you know? Cool, quirky, handsome dudes. One day i heard my sister and her friends talking and one of them started to saying "amore" for the male characters they liked and i found it really cool and started to saying it too, and mimicking their manneirism when they said it. Someday someone pointed out that shit was gay and i was like "ohh... okay :-( ", this kind of thing happened many times, especially inside my family, which made me pretty insecure when i was a kid. No Strawberry Shortcake DVDs for me, no playing with Polly with sis, only watching.
(I also liked to quickly check my friends pp when they would pee and mentally think "well that's kinda weird wonder why i like doing this". Yeah now i know lol)
I've never really identified with some of the shit boys would do, but got along anyway. Same as with girls, there were periods on my life where my friends group were mostly comprised by girls, and some, by boys.
There wasn't really a coming out of the closet arc for me, i just slowly started trying out boys too when i got the courage to do so, making out with some (when i was 15-16) and it was like "yeah i do like it too pretty good".
That's a badly written sum up of my experience lol. I like the way i am, it's pretty cool. I'm bi by the way.
Anyway, i slowly started to notice and accept that i liked boys too. When i was a kid most of my favorite anime, cartoon and videogames characters weren't the most badass overpowered buffed up dudes like my male friends, but the ones that i found attractive somehow, you know? Cool, quirky, handsome dudes. One day i heard my sister and her friends talking and one of them started to saying "amore" for the male characters they liked and i found it really cool and started to saying it too, and mimicking their manneirism when they said it. Someday someone pointed out that shit was gay and i was like "ohh... okay :-( ", this kind of thing happened many times, especially inside my family, which made me pretty insecure when i was a kid. No Strawberry Shortcake DVDs for me, no playing with Polly with sis, only watching.
(I also liked to quickly check my friends pp when they would pee and mentally think "well that's kinda weird wonder why i like doing this". Yeah now i know lol)
I've never really identified with some of the shit boys would do, but got along anyway. Same as with girls, there were periods on my life where my friends group were mostly comprised by girls, and some, by boys.
There wasn't really a coming out of the closet arc for me, i just slowly started trying out boys too when i got the courage to do so, making out with some (when i was 15-16) and it was like "yeah i do like it too pretty good".
That's a badly written sum up of my experience lol. I like the way i am, it's pretty cool. I'm bi by the way.
As far as being trans goes, it was pretty natural. Mostly just a conclusion based on the sum of its parts. Once I fully understood what being trans was, I was able to comfortably assess my own situation and how it applied to my life and my thoughts and feelings. It was more of an "Oh... huh. That explains a lot." moment than anything. Once I was able to hear more about what being transgender is and means, my identity was clear to me. There was no crisis nor was there any turmoil internally; I didn't try to deny it to myself. I was happy to finally "get it", if that makes sense.
Sexuality, though, is even more unremarkable. I'm attracted to women and always have been.
Sexuality, though, is even more unremarkable. I'm attracted to women and always have been.
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
- Messages
- 4,007
- Trophies
- 2
- Age
- 67
- Location
- On the Patio NaKeD w/COFFEE
- XP
- 13,505
- Country
I've always been a little feminine... not that i'm trans, but i guess i'm non-conformist? Still figuring out yet, but male nouns always worked just fine for me.
Anyway, i slowly started to notice and accept that i liked boys too. When i was a kid most of my favorite anime, cartoon and videogames characters weren't the most badass overpowered buffed up dudes like my male friends, but the ones that i found attractive somehow, you know? Cool, quirky, handsome dudes. One day i heard my sister and her friends talking and one of them started to saying "amore" for the male characters they liked and i found it really cool and started to saying it too, and mimicking their manneirism when they said it. Someday someone pointed out that shit was gay and i was like "ohh... okay :-( ", this kind of thing happened many times, especially inside my family, which made me pretty insecure when i was a kid. No Strawberry Shortcake DVDs for me, no playing with Polly with sis, only watching.
(I also liked to quickly check my friends pp when they would pee and mentally think "well that's kinda weird wonder why i like doing this". Yeah now i know lol)
I've never really identified with some of the shit boys would do, but got along anyway. Same as with girls, there were periods on my life where my friends group were mostly comprised by girls, and some, by boys.
There wasn't really a coming out of the closet arc for me, i just slowly started trying out boys too when i got the courage to do so, making out with some (when i was 15-16) and it was like "yeah i do like it too pretty good".
That's a badly written sum up of my experience lol. I like the way i am, it's pretty cool. I'm bi by the way.
Welcome to OUR community.
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2022
- Messages
- 7,266
- Trophies
- 3
- Location
- The Wired
- Website
- m4x1mumrez87.neocities.org
- XP
- 22,306
- Country
Welcome to the club!As far as being trans goes, it was pretty natural. Mostly just a conclusion based on the sum of its parts. Once I fully understood what being trans was, I was able to comfortably assess my own situation and how it applied to my life and my thoughts and feelings. It was more of an "Oh... huh. That explains a lot." moment than anything. Once I was able to hear more about what being transgender is and means, my identity was clear to me. There was no crisis nor was there any turmoil internally; I didn't try to deny it to myself. I was happy to finally "get it", if that makes sense.
Sexuality, though, is even more unremarkable. I'm attracted to women and always have been.
Thanks comrade :-)Welcome to OUR community.
Thanks. I've been out online for about 12 years and out in life to most people for a couple years fewer, and it's been lovely overall. Lots of love from people who understand makes things a lot easier.Welcome to the club!
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
- Messages
- 4,007
- Trophies
- 2
- Age
- 67
- Location
- On the Patio NaKeD w/COFFEE
- XP
- 13,505
- Country
Thanks comrade :-)
Likewise Gramma.
jkjkjkjkjk
Post automatically merged:
Thanks. I've been out online for about 12 years and out in life to most people for a couple years fewer, and it's been lovely overall. Lots of love from people who understand makes things a lot easier.
You're Welcome. Our family just keeps growing. I Lve it!
I grew up with a mother who was very materialistic and had very defined ideas of what a gender "should be"
So growing up with those pre-set "should be" ideas (like how guys are beefbrains and girls are helpless) and having all of them proved wrong in some way, shape, or form, my entire idea of gender construct is moot and I'm strictly attracted to personality.
Oh how the gay cookie crumbles.
So growing up with those pre-set "should be" ideas (like how guys are beefbrains and girls are helpless) and having all of them proved wrong in some way, shape, or form, my entire idea of gender construct is moot and I'm strictly attracted to personality.
Oh how the gay cookie crumbles.
Since I was little I was into "boy" stuff, Spiderman, Batman, TMTN, etc. It took me years until I was introduced to what it means to be queer. It was easy for me to first label myself as nonbinary and until last year I re-labeled myself as transgender man. I'm also aromantic asexual but it didn't have much impact on my life. Now I wait for that day where I'll move to somewhere where I can get HRT.
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
- Messages
- 4,007
- Trophies
- 2
- Age
- 67
- Location
- On the Patio NaKeD w/COFFEE
- XP
- 13,505
- Country
Since I was little I was into "boy" stuff, Spiderman, Batman, TMTN, etc. It took me years until I was introduced to what it means to be queer. It was easy for me to first label myself as nonbinary and until last year I re-labeled myself as transgender man. I'm also aromantic asexual but it didn't have much impact on my life. Now I wait for that day where I'll move to somewhere where I can get HRT.
Welcome to our community
Sometimes I feel that way too, apart from what I said in the other group forum. The thing is, by sexual attraction alone I'm like pansexual/omnisexual (depends on how you view those terms, some people think one is the other and vice versa), but personally I don't get many people close to me physicaly. So when I'm counting people I've been sexual with in my life its very few. So then it basically becomes demisexual I guess when it comes to interaction itself.Demiromantic and Demisexual make sense to me. A part of my puzzle!
And how did I find out? Well, sexually I knew what gave me the boner(anything really, haha)....but eh at one point I had a boy crush, romantically I mean...and that's when I started to think I might be gay but then year later I felt the same towards a girl...so yea....that's all I have to say for now....any more details I feel like is for private conversation.
Post automatically merged:
Btw someone I know (I won't say who right now) feels that the whole alphabet soup that is this "group" will soon include anyone who doesn't think of sexuality in a way like in Victorian times or something......
Similar threads
- Replies
- 57
- Views
- 5K
- Replies
- 19
- Views
- 954
- Replies
- 4
- Views
- 1K