Fuck My Life.

[Digeman]

Well i would talk to her first. If she lies your best bet is to get out and do things with your buddies. This girl is not worth your time. If she really did care about you at all she would not do all this crap behind your back. I know you two were not dating but she knows how you felt and it was her job to let you know whats up. A true friend that loves you, and yes friends can love, would talk to you about things. This is not your loss but hers.

Oh and just wanted to say, i second that

 

[shadowboy]

ooh that sucks. you know the worst part of most of this, is that the girl isnt going to see that your doing all this for her. most of the time its people like their moms that notice that your a nice boy and wish there were more like you.

So hit on her friend

well shes not all that attractive, and shes "not dating" too. nice though.

QUOTE(shadowboy @ Feb 11 2009, 02:31 PM) Nah, but seriously, just let her go, sooner or later she'll see what she is missing, and if she really likes you she will come back... at that time you get to choose whether or not you accept her.

I hope. I really still like her. And i still want to hang out with her, and shes going to realize that when i sayd that i would wait this year for her, i was dead serious.

Lulz, my gfs mom like forced her to go out with me after I met her, apparently said I was a once-in-a-lifetime catch.
I'm the same way, if she came back to me now I would take her... I would have waited a year too (would have had to actually, since she is 1 year younger and will be in hischool still/

 

[Szyslak]

I'm sorry to break it to you, but she's using you. I've been in this EXACT situation (minus the ski-trip, but something similar), and she's keeping you around because you're a dependable FRIEND that she knows she can rely on / manipulate for things she needs. You're a safe guy who will respect her wishes and "treat her right", which is why hanging out with you is desirable to her.

I've heard the whole "I'm not dating until XXXX", which sounds believable at first. Don't be surprised if ski-trip guy ends up sleeping with her.

This is gonna hurt a LOT right now. It's an indescribable pain that'll manifest physically and emotionally in many ways, but remember that it's temporary. You're not the first, nor are you going to be the last guy this happens to.

It may be painful, but omatic is exactly right. It's pretty common for a girl to string along a "nice guy" to keep him around as an ego crutch. It's going to be painful to do it, but you have to move on. The "not dating for a year" thing is just an excuse she was using to not get involved with you. She never had any intention of dating you. Some girls just think they're doing you a favor by not shooting you down up front. They think you'll tire of the courtship and give up on it, and they'll avoid the conflict.

I had a very similar experience when I was about 18-19. I was infatuated with a girl, and became very good friends with her. She was beautiful, nice, smart, funny, the whole package. I felt we were right for each other, and I thought she felt the same way. We were great friends for about a year. Whenever the topic would turn to whether we should date, she always said she didn't want to date anyone before she left for college. But predictably, she did end up dating another guy before she went to college, and even wanted to talk to me about their relationship.

Years later, I even found out that she was occasionally sleeping with my best friend behind my back. Looking back, I was the definition of a doormat.

The thing is, even knowing all that, because of the intense friendship that we had, it took me forever to get over her. For years, I just kept thinking she was the one, and that life would bring us together eventually. Kidding myself that she would one day wake up and see that the right person had been there all along. Here's the thing though: that shit only happens in the movies. I was just too naive to realize it. It took me a really long time to realize that she just didn't like me in the way I wanted her to. She was just stringing me along, and teasing me just enough to keep me interested.

So here's the only advice I can give you: Take the hit now. Experience the pain now. Don't let this girl ruin the next few years of your life by playing with your emotions. If she wanted to date you, she would have done it by now. She just doesn't like you the way you want her to. Be confident enough in yourself to know that there are other girls who would jump at the chance to date you. Don't let them all slip past while you're stuck on someone who will never feel the same way about you. At least open yourself up to the opportunity of giving other girls a chance.

I really wish someone had smacked me in the head and told me that at the time. I really do. It would have saved me years of misery.

Spoiler

Even if you read all that, you're probably thinking: "Well, that guy's just a sap. There's no way I'm in the same situation. She's not like that." Trust me man, you are. The sooner you accept it, the easier it will be to get on with your life.

 

[Akoji]

Yeah honestly, burn that fucking bridge right now.
I am living exactly what you would live in 2-3 years.
Trust me. I had a girlfriend for like 2 years and a half, I really loved that girl with all that I had, but I was kind of immature, video games took too much of my time, and in the aftermath, she was always being left out, so she slept with one of my friend, I saw red, and scared the shit out of the other dude, after that I forgave her, a year after she left me for another dude who was kind of my friend.

Now 3 years later, she still call me once in a while, she whine on me about her fucked up couple, and she even work herself on me for having some ... personal intercourse. Like Szyslak said, girls like to have a "nice guy" as a crutch, and it's exactly what I am right now, she knows that I love her way too much to easily forgive her, and she use it well. When I try to forgive her or meet other girls she get into jealous ex-mode and fuck up my chances with the said girl or she tries to get back in my life at fullforce.
So what you might gonna get is phone calls about her boyfriend who beats her up, or whatever. So watch out, Girls are freaking monsters with nice guys.

To do short, I am exactly what Szyslak warn you about, and don't fall in that trap.
I am traped 3 years in the past because of her, and seriously it sucks, I really don't want to see other people suffer in the same way.

 

[alucard77]

Not sure exactly how old you are, I figure possibly 18-21. I have to say, that everyone goes through stuff. I know that when I was around 19, I was the biggest sucker for girls. I had a sister who taught me that I should always be respectful of girls, and always treat them well.

Well, I am here to tell you, that all of that is BS. No girl is really worth it. They have to earn the worth it part. A lot of people automatically create little worlds in their heads of why this person is worth it, and keep the chicks around because of this world in their head. Mean while, the chick is totally different then the person in your head, and in the long run is not worth it.

To be honest, all I could do is tell you this. It'll be a while before you recognize this for yourself, and it is not easy to recognize. You should never treat a girl different then you treat your friends. I know it's hard, but its dead true. You wouldn't wait around for 5 months to hang with a friend, and you wouldn't take BS from a friend either. Just eliminate the BS and drama that a girl likes to bring, and you will be golden.

I find that all "sensitive guys" see guys who can get any girls and be like, ohh the guy is an asshole. That's how he gets the girls. While, yes some guys are assholes, most aren't. They just don't allow the girl to get away with the stuff they want to get away with. Some take it to far, but for the most part, they don't take their shit.

With my wife, I put my foot down. She was always wishy washy when we first started dating. I was really into her, since she is really cool. But she would always pull shit on me. We were on and off a good 5 or 6 times in our relationship. She knew I would always be around for her. After the 4th time, when she came around, I realized it. Got back with her, and she pulled the same shit with me. So I didn't bother calling her or anything.

Next time she came back, I banged her, and didn't bother to stay or call her or anything. Really I didn't care. All the sudden, she was like, what's the matter. She started chasing me. I basically told her that I really wasn't at a point in my life where I wanted drama. And I really didn't need to deal with her shit. If she wanted to grow up, and be cool, then we'll see if anything would happen. Literally that changed her. She wanted me to be with her and do all this stuff, which I refused to do. She basically realized that since I liked her, I always treated her well. She realized that she was taking advantage of me and that I wasn't going to have it. So I balanced the playing field.

That's really the trick. Have a balanced playing field. Don't do more for a person then they do for you. Realistically, most woman stuff is a bunch of crap, that they pull us into. Think how many guy friends you have, and how much drama you have to deal with, with them. I hope not a lot. You can have the same type of relationship with girls. It's just you can't do more for them then they do for you.

I mean, I doubt there is anything you can do with this girl to "win her back". The thing is, don't be her drama recptical. Being the nice supportive guy won't get you anywhere with her. She probably didn't even recognize the fact that she was taking advantage. They never do.

You need to play a thin line of being uninterested in her BS, and talking about fun things and hanging out. But have other chicks on the side too if you can. Never have just one in the picture. Never believe the BS, that men should be faithful. Your not faithful until you are dating her. Never give all of you to one person, if they don't do the same in return. You just end up where you are now.

Dating should be fun, not what your going through. I find that in my life I was able to get any girl I wanted when I didn't stress anything and just had fun with the girl. I dissed on her like I dissed on my friends. Do dumb shit with them, like fart on them, and stuff like that (read the girl though). The minute I got all serious and was like, I like you, where is this going, I knew it was over.

The chick knows you like her. You go have fun with them and just make the move. Don't have the talk. Don't wait to long to make the move. Just close in and do your thing. If you get shot down, who cares. It's the fact that you have the CONFIDENCE that turns the girl on and keeps you with her. Also, keep in mind that at your age, nothing is perminate. Regardless, you'll dump her or she'll dump you eventually.

If you just have fun with them, and you can BS with them, it always works out better. At least in my experience. Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helps. So here is the quick recap.

1- Have confidence all the time. Your the shit, and the girl should be happy that she is hanging with you.
2- Don't give a girl more then she gives you.
3- If she takes advantage, let her know you know she is taking advantage, and put her in her place. Then don't talk to her for a couple of weeks, so she realizes your no sucker, and that she did take advantage of you. And why she should be with you.
4- Always have fun with them. Never get into long talks about feelings and stuff like that, it scares the girls. You can tell her, when you know she is into you. They like hearing it, just not all the time.
5- Have more things in your life then just the chick. You can have other girls or other friends.
6- Never jump when she calls, learn to say no to hanging out with her.

It sucks, but it is partially a game. There aren't many rules. But remember that girls do have power over us guys. It's your choice if you want to give them the power or not. I like to keep the power even. I don't take advantage, and I don't like them to take advantage.

Hope this helps.

BTW, I just read what these guys wrote. If I have one piece of advice. It's this. DON'T TALK TO HER. What are you going to accomplish with a pissed off conversation? Don't talk to her for a bit. Don't be a dick about it, just act like you have some shit going on and your really busy. You know, that "I have to run thing." Give yourself some time to cool down. Within two weeks, I bet she will wonder whats up. Then talk to her.

She most likely will be wth "Ski Boy". But you should just be like, "I am not making a big deal about this or anything, but I think it's pretty weak that you knew how I felt about you and you got with Ski Boy. If you weren't into me, you should have just said it. I would have been cool with it. It's funny, cause I thought you were mature, but pulled some mad immature shit right there. But it's cool, I just wanted to say my peace. If you want, we can talk later, but I have to run."

Don't let her respond to you. Let that thought stick in her head for a couple of days. There is nothing in there about you being an ass, or over emotional. It's straight up, I expected more from you as a friend. Now I have other shit to do, cause I am still important. Trust me, shit will work.

Plant a thought in a chicks head and let it hatch. Works wonders. You may not get her back. But you'll have some dignity and her respect. Who knows, you may not even want her back.

Last thing. Grab the movie, "The Wackness", trust me, you'll love it. And it will hit the spot for what your feeling.

 

[tinymonkeyt]

Well, I am here to tell you, that all of that is BS. No girl is really worth it.

Realistically, most woman stuff is a bunch of crap, that they pull us into.

Never have just one in the picture. Never believe the BS, that men should be faithful.

If you just have fun with them, and you can BS with them, it always works out better.

im so surprised at the way guys look at girls nowadays.

maybe you just have a bad choice in women.
not ALL women are like this you know.

thats what i hate about this forum
you bag on your girlfriends/women in general all the time
and its really demoralizing
blahblah they manipulate us blahblah theyre bitches blahblah
yet. guys arent perfect. not even near.

anyway. on topic:
sorry bortz you had to run into a girl like that. if she's just using you, just forget about her.
shes not worth it.
cancel hangouts, stop calling, avoid her. hangout with your bros.
just keep your mind off her and try to move on :/

 

[Raven Darkheart]

lol my bottom line was if bortz is now her safe option so to speak, what he does next will determine if they even remain friends. if he does remain friends with her then hes to just be "a good friend" and hope that one day she wizens up to the fact that he really likes her

besides the thing with me happened a long time ago and i take responsibility for it

now that i think about it....bringing up my past wasnt smart

okey dude i'm gonna overlook the fact that you just said all/most women have a so called "fallback", and i'm also gonna overlook the fact that you condone such things. And instead i'm gonna try to make you understand my reasoning

What i'm trying to say is that no person deserves to be treated like that, getting toyed with their feelings that is. And since love/affection is one of the strongest emotions it also has the strongest impact on you if something were to go wrong. Now, she knew he liked her, told him that for some wack reason she didn't wanna be together with him, and tells him they can still be friends. And still beeing friends is still okey (even though i wouldn't have believed the "i'm not dating ppl for a year" bullshit but hey, that's just me xD). But as i said she then started flirting with this other guy, even though she knew bortz liked her, and even though she told him that it "wasn't him" but some other promise she had made herself (yeah right) that prevented her to be with him.

Now that right there, to me atleast, is seriously messed up. That's why i don't think you should be with her anymore bortz (unless she realises she's wrong and apologizes etc.etc). Or else you're just setting youself out to get hurt again and the second time it won't be her fault but yours

But hey, if that's what ya wanna do, sure, go ahead

did i ever once say that what she did was proper behavior?
i never did condone her actions, but seeing as this is the way she wanted t to handle things, i see he has 2 options here

1) go off the deep end

or

2) be the bigger person to take things as they are and try to move forward

bottom line is i never once defended the girl's actions
and if you dont believe that women their age have "safe guys" as fallback options then youre naive

 

[Digeman]

did i ever once say that what she did was proper behavior?
i never did condone her actions

bottom line is i never once defended the girl's actions
and if you dont believe that women their age have "safe guys" as fallback options then youre naive
Really?

the thing is however, all women need safe fallback options and most have one. what you have to do is walk a thin line between showing concern and being emotionally toyed with. just be there to talk to her when she needs it and never push the issue.

im actually good friends with my "fallback" girl so, how this turns out is completely up to you
Hmmm....don't ya think actually having a "fallback" girl yourself is condoning it?

But that's not the thing that bugs me the most with your comments and most of the other people here man. It's the huge amount of prejudices and generalizations you people are doing. I don't know how many times i've said this but i'll say it again and again 'till it sticks. NO ONE PERSON IS THE SAME AS THE NEXT! REGARDLESS IF THEY'VE GOT BOOBS, PENIS OR BOTH!....alright?

Edit: oh and damnit can anyone tell me how i can check all my posts so i can find my friggin' post i made about this crap?? xD

QUOTE(tinymonkeyt @ Feb 11 2009, 11:18 PM)

im so surprised at the way guys look at girls nowadays.

maybe you just have a bad choice in women.
not ALL women are like this you know.

thats what i hate about this forum
you bag on your girlfriends/women in general all the time
and its really demoralizing
blahblah they manipulate us blahblah theyre bitches blahblah
yet. guys arent perfect. not even near.

I second that.

Oh and to you alucard about your post....dude you gotta chillax bro xD I mean you're kinda goin' to the right direction with keeping everything neutral and not beeing any different to anybody because of gender and finding the balance thing but man....all that other shit about "putting your foot down", "planting seeds in their heads" etc.etc. is some seriously fucked up shit man, and it scares the piss outta me that you don't even notice that yourself....

Edit: lul i edited the same thing twice xD

 

[alucard77]

Well, I am here to tell you, that all of that is BS. No girl is really worth it.

Realistically, most woman stuff is a bunch of crap, that they pull us into.

Never have just one in the picture. Never believe the BS, that men should be faithful.

If you just have fun with them, and you can BS with them, it always works out better.

im so surprised at the way guys look at girls nowadays.

maybe you just have a bad choice in women.
not ALL women are like this you know.

thats what i hate about this forum
you bag on your girlfriends/women in general all the time
and its really demoralizing
blahblah they manipulate us blahblah theyre bitches blahblah
yet. guys arent perfect. not even near.

anyway. on topic:
sorry bortz you had to run into a girl like that. if she's just using you, just forget about her.
shes not worth it.
cancel hangouts, stop calling, avoid her. hangout with your bros.
just keep your mind off her and try to move on :/

I love my wife more then anything. She is the right person for me, and I respect her and I respect other woman. The fact is that respect should be equal. In this instance, do you feel like this girl provided equal respect to this guy? She lied, because she couldn't be a big enough person to tell him if she didn't like him. Then she strung him along, because she wanted some one to make her feel good about herself, while maybe other guys she dated made her feel bad about herself. She did a lot more damage then she could have if she was just honest.

The advice I am giving is based for a 20 year old. I would never provide the same advice for a 30 year old. Lets go over the parts you dislike:

1- Realistically, most woman stuff is a bunch of crap, that they pull us into.

The previous paragraph with her actions explain that in fact she did bring a bunch of crap onto him. In addition, I hate to tell you, but yes, the majority of 20 year old woman are immature and have no clue what they want, and how to deal with "nice guys". That is the age when you discover who you are and make mistakes. Most of which hurt the opposite sex.

The same can be said of Men. Trust me, I know plenty of Men who are real assholes. I have been in my day as well. But I did learn one thing. I am going to be honest. I am going to let you know what your getting yourself into. If you make the decision to go for it, it's your decision. The truth is 1000x better then lies that save some ones feelings. That's the problem, too many people lie now a days.

2- Never have just one in the picture. Never believe the BS, that men should be faithful.

This guy liked her, so he put all his eggs in her basket. She knew this. Who knows, maybe he would have met his true love in the 5 months he wasted. During the courting process you should have your options open. At 20 you should have your options open. People introduce you to new things, and your always changing as a person. To assume you'll be with the person your with at 20 when your 40 is just foolishness. That is why I am saying don't put your eggs in one basket, obviously, she didn't.

If the person shows that she is worth it, then feel free to dive in and give her your all. If she gives any less, meet some one else that will give you more. I have given this advice to both men and women. This works both ways.

3- If you just have fun with them, and you can BS with them, it always works out better.

Having fun with your significant other is the point. Love torrid relationships where all you talk about love never lasts. You can't sustain the highest of high feelings forever. All the ones that I have tried to sustain like that led to failures. It doesn't work. Be yourself, and have fun. I am not sure how that is anti-woman.

The main thing that I am trying to say is this. Yes, the majority of woman out there at 20 have no clue and the majority of them, because of having no clue do things like this. The same is true for men.

I didn't write anywhere in my post that this chick was a bitch. I am sure that this dude, being a nice guy could have been over bearing at times. I have seen that happen as well. She may have felt, I can't get with this guy because I will never live up to his expectations of me as a girlfriend. She could have said, I am 20 and just want to have fun, that's why I don't want to date, but I'll hook up. Maybe he didn't see those signs. There is a lot that is not known.

But I think my advice is sound. People bring luggage (crap) into any relationship and dump it on the other person. If you limit yourself to only that person, you can miss the wonderful other woman that may treat you better then the one that you are courting. If you cheat on the wonderful one your with, then your an idiot.

The main point is that you need to be a confident person, and never take some ones shit. This is probably the hardest thing someone between the ages of 15-25 can ever do. Don't be an ass, and just be honest. I am sorry if you disagree with me, but not all woman (or Men) deserve your respect. At 20, I would say there are more who don't deserve your respect then those who do.

At 31, where I am now, I am surrounded by wonderful women, who admit to their mistakes at their youth that hurt themselves and others. That's how you learn. But please don't act like you don't have girl friends of your own that you know that are being "bitches". You know you do. I know plenty of guys who were "dicks" when I was 20.

 

[alucard77]

did i ever once say that what she did was proper behavior?
i never did condone her actions

bottom line is i never once defended the girl's actions
and if you dont believe that women their age have "safe guys" as fallback options then youre naive
Really?

the thing is however, all women need safe fallback options and most have one. what you have to do is walk a thin line between showing concern and being emotionally toyed with. just be there to talk to her when she needs it and never push the issue.

im actually good friends with my "fallback" girl so, how this turns out is completely up to you
Hmmm....don't ya think actually having a "fallback" girl yourself is condoning it?

But that's not the thing that bugs me the most with your comments and most of the other people here man. It's the huge amount of prejudices and generalizations you people are doing. I don't know how many times i've said this but i'll say it again and again 'till it sticks. NO ONE PERSON IS THE SAME AS THE NEXT! REGARDLESS IF THEY'VE GOT BOOBS, PENIS OR BOTH!....alright?

Edit: oh and damnit can anyone tell me how i can check all my posts so i can find my friggin' post i made about this crap?? xD

QUOTE(tinymonkeyt @ Feb 11 2009, 11:18 PM)

im so surprised at the way guys look at girls nowadays.

maybe you just have a bad choice in women.
not ALL women are like this you know.

thats what i hate about this forum
you bag on your girlfriends/women in general all the time
and its really demoralizing
blahblah they manipulate us blahblah theyre bitches blahblah
yet. guys arent perfect. not even near.

I second that.

Oh and to you alucard about your post....dude you gotta chillax bro xD I mean you're kinda goin' to the right direction with keeping everything neutral and not beeing any different to anybody because of gender and finding the balance thing but man....all that other shit about "putting your foot down", "planting seeds in their heads" etc.etc. is some seriously fucked up shit man, and it scares the piss outta me that you don't even notice that yourself....

Edit: damnit can anyone tell me how i can check all my posts so i can find my friggin' post i made about this crap?? xD

Haha, to be honest. I do recognize it. Trust me, I would never say to my wife now, I am putting my foot down. But when I put myself out to her 4 times and got smacked, I was like, listened your fucked up, and I put my foot down.

As for the rest of it, it's for survival in your 20s. I grew up in NY. To be honest, you need to be fucked up in NY. All you get is chicks from around the world who come here expecting things. You need to have tons of game to be able to survive, and I have seen many people get crushed.

So yeah, I know it's messed up. But it was survival.

I do have to say that when I was in my 20s I loved going out of state on vacations. Besides getting laid a lot more easily, I really did find the woman in other parts of the country to be a lot more down to Earth. One of my best relationships was with a person who didn't live in NY. So I may seem unfair, or jaded, but I did survive the NY dating scene.

I could probably write a book on head games and the such. Don't ever ask me about my theory of "dady issues" with girls, cause you'll be surprised how well it works. But I have matured since. Thankfully. But do I give him my 30+ advice, or do I give him advice that will help him at his age?

 

[Martiin]

dude just forget her shes not worth your time if she does this.

 

[BORTZ]

@alucard77: i respect your advice and ive read everything you have posted. i have a feeling by now you know what your talking about. And you have my respect. Thank all of you guys. while i decide what to do with her, at least i have some really good reading to do here.

I know i did put all my eggs into one basket here. That is a bad quality i have. I cant just go halfway with anything. I either have to give 100% or not at all. especially with girls. And this is where it gets me. The worst part is that she knew that i was smitten by her and would do anything, and i was strung along like you guys said.

 

[alucard77]

The only reason I can give that advice to you, is because I have been there. I have done what you have done many many times. I mean, it sounds crappy, but this is why you go through this stuff. To learn. I could give you all the answers, but you won't ever know them if you don't first go through the problems. Good luck bro, and trust me it gets fun.

You won't always put all your eggs in one basket. Just remember that your the shit. If there is one thing I thank my friends for, is that they gave me tons of confidence. As long as you have that your golden. Girls like confident guys. Unfortunately at your age I was looking at girls to judge my confidence. Not a good play. I am sure you have things going for you, that you should focus on You'll see they flock when your confident.

Oh yeah, one last thing. When you put your eggs all in one basket without knowing if the other person is doing the same, your taking a huge risk. There maybe a chance that they will do the same, but it is rare. People tend to be more closed, and your commitment may scare them. If you both simutanously put your eggs in one basket at the same time, it is better and not as scary to the other person. That one took me a while to learn. I really messed up with a lot of cool girls with that one.

Also, trust me, either dl or rent the wackness ASAP! You'll thank me later.

 

[BORTZ]

From Alucard77

BTW, I just read what these guys wrote. If I have one piece of advice. It's this. DON'T TALK TO HER. What are you going to accomplish with a pissed off conversation? Don't talk to her for a bit. Don't be a dick about it, just act like you have some shit going on and your really busy. You know, that "I have to run thing." Give yourself some time to cool down. Within two weeks, I bet she will wonder whats up. Then talk to her.

She most likely will be wth "Ski Boy". But you should just be like, "I am not making a big deal about this or anything, but I think it's pretty weak that you knew how I felt about you and you got with Ski Boy. If you weren't into me, you should have just said it. I would have been cool with it. It's funny, cause I thought you were mature, but pulled some mad immature shit right there. But it's cool, I just wanted to say my peace. If you want, we can talk later, but I have to run."

Don't let her respond to you. Let that thought stick in her head for a couple of days. There is nothing in there about you being an ass, or over emotional. It's straight up, I expected more from you as a friend. Now I have other shit to do, cause I am still important. Trust me, shit will work.

Ok, this looks like my best option. But we have some problems. I see her everyday for lunch and dinner. we would always go together. Next we have Open Dorms where she comes up to my room every wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night to escape her crazy roommate. I dont know if I told you guys in the original post or not, but she doesnt know that i know about ski boy.

I didnt see her at all today because of special circumstances, but tomorrow shes going to expect that im willing to go eat with her, sit with her in chaple, and hang out this weekend. I have a couple of options here. I could just try to hold a straight face for the time were together, or start avoiding her. Avoiding her is going to be alot harder than i thought. She gets offended if i dont make an effort to speak to her, or stuff like i said. were together all the time. One meal is excusble, 2 is questionable, but going on three is going to send some harsh signals. Im still wanting to keep her as a close friend.

SHIT. speaking of this weekend, i already have everything ready for her valentines gift. FUCK.

 

[BORTZ]

Just remember that your the shit.
Haha i like that. "im the shit, bitch. Kupo?"

QUOTE(alucard77 @ Feb 11 2009, 09:32 PM) Also, trust me, either dl or rent the wackness ASAP! You'll thank me later.

im looking. Im on campus so i have restricted internetz. is there anywhere i can watch it online?

 

[Zarkz]

Talk to her about it, it sounds dumb, but its better than you feeling betrayed

 

[OSW]

I know how it feels to betrayed, as many do.

Most important advice i can give you is, don't hate your own life, or yourself. It's not your own fault nor has it ruined your life (as someone said, it's a temporary thing, even though it's extremely painful).

If you're gonna be pissed off, don't be pissed off at your situation, be pissed off at her (But not crazy pissed off lol).

I know it's not so easy as flipping a switch to pick yourself up when you are down, so i don't expect you do that. However I think it's great to talk to someone about these things, even if it's trusty ol' temp. Looking at the advice of some others here they got you covered

I'm not advising against it, but if she comes back to you and you get together, be on your guard man, watch your feelings because they might just get hurt again.

Personally, I've been on guard since i was betrayed, but It's been some time since then so i'm giving it a chance. I really want to believe in it now so I've letting it all go and hoping. (Sorry to go off in a selfish tangent x_x, sometimes i just feel urged to relate my own problems)

 

[BORTZ]

hey its ok to go on a selfish tangent. it takes the focus off me.

 

[shadowboy]

Tangent time.
So I have basically not talked to her since I got screwed (over). She has talked to me and I'm just like "Hi, yeah, gotta go, really busy, see ya later." My plan was to this week (didn't happen cause of snow lol" talk to her and tell her that what hurt me was how she led me on and lied to me.
But today I found out that she cancelled the marriage with the other guy and apparently doesn't even want to be near him anymore... because of missing me or something like that... Until she tells me herself I won't believe it... but yeah, it made me kinda happy.
I broke up a marriage. I am pimptastically powerful lol. I dunno if she wants to go out again what I should do? Im tempted to say hell no, but I still reeaaallly like her... Just like TC I put all my eggs in one basket... Gah.
On the other news I found out that 2 other girls from my school are crushing on me and 2 girls in the college class Im taking are as well. I have 4-5 girls with the hots for me. Pretty damn awesome for my self esteem lol. But I feel like except for my ex I could not have a healthy relationship with any of them, cause I'll always be thinking of her. :/

 

[alucard77]

Dude, not sure what the whole story is here, but while yes, you are pimptastic, breaking up a marriage is not cool.

I would avoid marriage girl to be honest. It is a lot of drama. I mean, she may get back with him, that is her husband. It will be a constant back and forth with mixed feelings and so on. At the end of the day, you may end up with nothing.

Plus trust me, a chick who is getting divorced is not the same chick as if she was single. Most likely, she will have tons of bagage. You may heal her, but once healed, she may leave you. That's why I would recommend, you just go out and have fun with the other girls that are crushing on you.

Think of it this way, you will always think of your ex, if you have nothing else to think about. Don't try to compare the new chicks to your old. Have them talk about themselves (it'll make it easier to get laid), and at the same time, you may learn something about them that will make you forget about your ex.

Your comparing apples and oranges, and it will never be fair to any new girl. Obviously your ex is an ex for a reason. You should give extra points to the other girls because they never had the monicure of "ex".

We tend to look at the positives of the ex when we are not with them, but their negatives show really quickly once were back with them for 3-4 months. While a new chick may not have positives or negatives when you meet her, the fun is finding that stuff out.

It's not a negative for a new chick that she is not like your ex. It's just easier to be with your ex. Don't take the easy route on that one. Date all 4 girls, and see what they have to offer. A lot of women have a lot to offer. Either sexually or mentally. Screw it, your young, it will be fun to find out which one.

The Ex or the Divorced chick offer emotional drama (one and the same?) While it seems to drive your emotions crazy, it's not healthy. And it usually ends bad, and definately not fun. Not sure if it helps, but hope it does.

Seriously, my life moto is eliminate drama. It really makes life easier and definately more fun. As you get older you'll see that you have so much other things to worry about, that drama is not worth it. So since your young, have fun now before you have to worry about a wife, job, mortgage, baby on the way, retirment savings, college savings, family in laws, your family, and so on. You get the point.