Fuck My Life.

[BORTZ]

Im at my Whit's end. heres whats been going on in my life lately.

So i met this girl here at the university back in October. We really hit it off and eventually i had to say something about my feelings for her. I knew it was just time to say something. So about a week before Thanksgiving break, i called her and met her behind the student union building, overlooking the lake. I had no idea if she had a boyfriend at the time, and was ready to cut bait and forget her if she did. I got straight to the point and told her i really liked her and asked what she thought of me, if she had a bf, and/or if i need to just back off in general. Her answers surprised me. She had no bf, she liked me back, BUT she had already decided that she wasnt dating for the next year. We're taking till 2010 people. that was devastating. So i asked if i needed to back off again. She said " No i was hoping we could hang out more." WTF. i didnt know how to take that at all. over the break i decided that i would wait for her over the next year because she is worth it. And i told her that, and she seemed dead set on her promise of not dating, but welcomed the idea.

December came and i was back to normal. we hung out all the time and got closer and closer. At the end of January there was a ski trip up to Cabrafa ski resort. We signed up and went. On the third hill down, she fell and smacked her head. hard enough to give herself a concussion. i took her to first aid and waited there with her till she was given the go to be taken to the hospital. I went along. i waited 4 hours for her to be released.

Back at school i noticed her facebook wall filling with comments from a kid from teh ski trip, and i had caught her taking in "code" about ski trip guy. i knew the night after she was in the hospital who she was taking about. she had started to take notice to him during the weekend at the lodge in very small, but noticeable ways. i began to feel insecure and started to slip into small day long fits of depression. My roommate picked up on it and told me "dude. stop worrying about it. she wouldn't be asking you to dinner, or texting you all the time, or hanging out with you every moment she can spare." that was comforting and he was right. So i thought.

Last night i read more commemts from ski trip guy on her wall and went to her best friend. I didnt know where to start, but i told her right off that i knew she like skiboy. she looked at me and said, "you know?" she proceeded to tell me that i was right with all of my predictions and insecurities.

So here i am. hiding at GBAtemp. im devastated. these last 5 months for what? i dont even know.

PS there isnt even a smily to show what i feel right now.

 

[WildWon]

Shitty advice that holds up in the long run. Use it as a learning experience. I've had months to years of relationships fall apart. Enjoy what was there, and don't just think of it as "wasted time."

Who knows. Skiboy could be a total dick, and she'll be sick of him, yadda yadda... and if the time comes, and she's still cool, alright then, kick ass. If not, no big loss.

I know, I'm not dealing with this, but i have. And as much as i can say to you, you can do what you want with it, but my major advice, don't let it control you.

 

[science]

Dude I am sorry, and I know you like this girl, but what a bitch. If I were you, I would be pissed, not upset. She lied straight up to you and then played around with your feelings. Who says "I know you like me, and I like you too, but I said I wasn't going to date for a year. So even though I know you like me and hanging around with me and getting to know me is going to make you like me even more, thats what I want. Forget what you want."

Try and forget her. You don't have to be a jerk about it, just when she asks you to hang out, just say you have plans. Avoid her and if she actually has feelings for you, she will begin to miss you, and then maybe this girl will smarten up.

Good luck

 

[gisel213]

Im at my Whit's end. heres whats been going on in my life lately.

So i met this girl here at the university back in October. We really hit it off and eventually i had to say something about my feelings for her. I knew it was just time to say something. So about a week before Thanksgiving break, i called her and met her behind the student union building, overlooking the lake. I had no idea if she had a boyfriend at the time, and was ready to cut bait and forget her if she did. I got straight to the point and told her i really liked her and asked what she thought of me, if she had a bf, and/or if i need to just back off in general. Her answers surprised me. She had no bf, she liked me back, BUT she had already decided that she wasnt dating for the next year. We're taking till 2010 people. that was devastating. So i asked if i needed to back off again. She said " No i was hoping we could hang out more." WTF. i didnt know how to take that at all. over the break i decided that i would wait for her over the next year because she is worth it. And i told her that, and she seemed dead set on her promise of not dating, but welcomed the idea.

December came and i was back to normal. we hung out all the time and got closer and closer. At the end of January there was a ski trip up to Cabrafa ski resort. We signed up and went. On the third hill down, she fell and smacked her head. hard enough to give herself a concussion. i took her to first aid and waited there with her till she was given the go to be taken to the hospital. I went along. i waited 4 hours for her to be released.

Back at school i noticed her facebook wall filling with comments from a kid from teh ski trip, and i had caught her taking in "code" about ski trip guy. i knew the night after she was in the hospital who she was taking about. she had started to take notice to him during the weekend at the lodge in very small, but noticeable ways. i began to feel insecure and started to slip into small day long fits of depression. My roommate picked up on it and told me "dude. stop worrying about it. she wouldn't be asking you to dinner, or texting you all the time, or hanging out with you every moment she can spare." that was comforting and he was right. So i thought.

Last night i read more commemts from ski trip guy on her wall and went to her best friend. I didnt know where to start, but i told her right off that i knew she like skiboy. she looked at me and said, "you know?" she proceeded to tell me that i was right with all of my predictions and insecurities.

So here i am. hiding at GBAtemp. im devastated. these last 5 months for what? i dont even know.

PS there isnt even a smily to show what i feel right now.

Hey Bro beat her at her own game REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD..... Don't be jealous thats a female
trait do ya thing man...... Peace!!!!

 

[Bridgy84]

Well i would talk to her first. If she lies your best bet is to get out and do things with your buddies. This girl is not worth your time. If she really did care about you at all she would not do all this crap behind your back. I know you two were not dating but she knows how you felt and it was her job to let you know whats up. A true friend that loves you, and yes friends can love, would talk to you about things. This is not your loss but hers.

 

[omatic]

I'm sorry to break it to you, but she's using you. I've been in this EXACT situation (minus the ski-trip, but something similar), and she's keeping you around because you're a dependable FRIEND that she knows she can rely on / manipulate for things she needs. You're a safe guy who will respect her wishes and "treat her right", which is why hanging out with you is desirable to her.

I've heard the whole "I'm not dating until XXXX", which sounds believable at first. Don't be surprised if ski-trip guy ends up sleeping with her.

This is gonna hurt a LOT right now. It's an indescribable pain that'll manifest physically and emotionally in many ways, but remember that it's temporary. You're not the first, nor are you going to be the last guy this happens to. You've got the power to get through this, so whatever you do, DO NOT LET THIS MESS UP YOUR LIFE. In a state of depression, people will do crazy things that affect the rest of their lives (jailtime, personal mutilation, etc.), so please keep your wits about you during this troubling time.

You've got several options in regards to this. One of them is to talk it out with her, another is to break it off. I'd recommend telling her straight up what is going on, and going from there. Letting this stir around in your head will not make this any better, so take action, regardless of what it is.

 

[Digeman]

Well guess there's not much to say except that she's a bitch and a disgusting person.... to knowingly toy around with another persons feelings is so fucked up. Fuck that shit bro, break all ties with her and just go on and be happy that you actually didn't wind up with someone as effed up as her. I mean c'mon, would you really want to be with someone that would do that to you?

Oh and don't think about why she did it cuz that doesn't matter whatsoever. Migth've been cuz it fed her ego or somethin' i dunno, but like i said forget about it.

 

[BORTZ]

Thanks Guys, im really feeling better just reading these responses.
@Science, Wildone: you know i really would love to burn this bridge and get over it, but i really still want to keep her a close friend. I still need her.

@gisel: i cant do that to her.

@irobot: thanks for the hug and i will listen to Omatic. i kinda knew most of what your saying, omatic, but i didnt want to tell myself it. And dont worry i have a good enough handle on my mind to keep my emotions in check.

i wub you guys.

EDIT: and i definately need to talk to her. That is one thing i know.

 

[shadowboy]

reminds me of what just happened to me... except we were dating for a month, then she broke off stating "family stuff" and then kept me really close constantly hinting that she still liked me and just couldn't handle a boyfriend at the time... and then... at the winter formal she ditched me (i bought her ticket and took her to dinner before the dance) for her ex who threatened to kill me when we first started to date, cheated on her 13 times, literally SLEPT with one of her best friends, and is constantly drunk. I was devastated for a while... but.. living well is the best revenge.
I just stopped talking to her (not silence treatment or any shit like that, I just don't initiate conversations and when she talks to me use short, impersonal sentences) and have began to hang out with my other friends. Funny, but now one of her best friends and one of my other friends are majorly crushing on me, and she seems to be regretting things... she keeps trying to get me back into her life, but I'm like "lol no, not till you apologize woman"
So hit on her friend

Nah, but seriously, just let her go, sooner or later she'll see what she is missing, and if she really likes you she will come back... at that time you get to choose whether or not you accept her.

 

[Digeman]

Thanks Guys, im really feeling better just reading these responses.
@Science, Wildone: you know i really would love to burn this bridge and get over it, but i really still want to keep her a close friend. I still need her.

@gisel: i cant do that to her.

@irobot: thanks for the hug and i will listen to Omatic. i kinda knew most of what your saying, omatic, but i didnt want to tell myself it. And dont worry i have a good enough handle on my mind to keep my emotions in check.

i wub you guys.

EDIT: and i definately need to talk to her. That is one thing i know.

Dude seriously not to be all up in your face but why do you need her? Just doesn't make sence that you would want to be with someone that made you feel like shit. And the only reason i can think of why you should talk to her is to tell her how what she's doing is so inconsiderate and downlright mean.

 

[Raven Darkheart]

I was planning to write a long spiel but i decided to qoute this cause its the gospel truth

I'm sorry to break it to you, but she's using you. I've been in this EXACT situation (minus the ski-trip, but something similar), and she's keeping you around because you're a dependable FRIEND that she knows she can rely on / manipulate for things she needs. You're a safe guy who will respect her wishes and "treat her right", which is why hanging out with you is desirable to her.

I've heard the whole "I'm not dating until XXXX", which sounds believable at first. Don't be surprised if ski-trip guy ends up sleeping with her.

This is gonna hurt a LOT right now. It's an indescribable pain that'll manifest physically and emotionally in many ways, but remember that it's temporary. You're not the first, nor are you going to be the last guy this happens to. You've got the power to get through this, so whatever you do, DO NOT LET THIS MESS UP YOUR LIFE. In a state of depression, people will do crazy things that affect the rest of their lives (jailtime, personal mutilation, etc.), so please keep your wits about you during this troubling time.

You've got several options in regards to this. One of them is to talk it out with her, another is to break it off. I'd recommend telling her straight up what is going on, and going from there. Letting this stir around in your head will not make this any better, so take action, regardless of what it is.

the thing is however, all women need safe fallback options and most have one. what you have to do is walk a thin line between showing concern and being emotionally toyed with. just be there to talk to her when she needs it and never push the issue.

im actually good friends with my "fallback" girl so, how this turns out is completely up to you

 

[BORTZ]

ooh that sucks. you know the worst part of most of this, is that the girl isnt going to see that your doing all this for her. most of the time its people like their moms that notice that your a nice boy and wish there were more like you.

So hit on her friend

well shes not all that attractive, and shes "not dating" too. nice though.

QUOTE(shadowboy @ Feb 11 2009, 02:31 PM) Nah, but seriously, just let her go, sooner or later she'll see what she is missing, and if she really likes you she will come back... at that time you get to choose whether or not you accept her.

I hope. I really still like her. And i still want to hang out with her, and shes going to realize that when i sayd that i would wait this year for her, i was dead serious.

 

[Digeman]

the thing is however, all women need safe fallback options and most have one. what you have to do is walk a thin line between showing concern and being emotionally toyed with. just be there to talk to her when she needs it and never push the issue.

im actually good friends with my "fallback" girl so, how this turns out is completely up to you

Do i really need to point out what's fucked up with that post?

 

[Raven Darkheart]

the thing is however, all women need safe fallback options and most have one. what you have to do is walk a thin line between showing concern and being emotionally toyed with. just be there to talk to her when she needs it and never push the issue.

im actually good friends with my "fallback" girl so, how this turns out is completely up to you

Do i really need to point out what's fucked up with that post?

all women need safe options its true
i was once used as one but the more i thought about it i only liked her for her body so i was ok with just being there for her when she needed it

 

[War]

Off-topic: I was so sure this was gonna be a parody of tinymonkeyt's blog post :

 

[Raven Darkheart]

Off-topic: I was so sure this was gonna be a parody of tinymonkeyt's blog post :

 

[Digeman]

the thing is however, all women need safe fallback options and most have one. what you have to do is walk a thin line between showing concern and being emotionally toyed with. just be there to talk to her when she needs it and never push the issue.

im actually good friends with my "fallback" girl so, how this turns out is completely up to you

Do i really need to point out what's fucked up with that post?

all women need safe options its true
i was once used as one but the more i thought about it i only liked her for her body so i was ok with just being there for her when she needed it

...üüükeeey....trust me, for your sake stop writing stuff like that...or you'll just make more of an ass out of yourself

 

[Maz7006]

i wub you guys.

EDIT: and i definately need to talk to her. That is one thing i know.

Hey, you found an emotion

, anyway yeah i think you really should talk to her, man if that happened to me it must of really sucked.

 

[Raven Darkheart]

lol my bottom line was if bortz is now her safe option so to speak, what he does next will determine if they even remain friends. if he does remain friends with her then hes to just be "a good friend" and hope that one day she wizens up to the fact that he really likes her

besides the thing with me happened a long time ago and i take responsibility for it

now that i think about it....bringing up my past wasnt smart

 

[Digeman]

lol my bottom line was if bortz is now her safe option so to speak, what he does next will determine if they even remain friends. if he does remain friends with her then hes to just be "a good friend" and hope that one day she wizens up to the fact that he really likes her

besides the thing with me happened a long time ago and i take responsibility for it

now that i think about it....bringing up my past wasnt smart

okey dude i'm gonna overlook the fact that you just said all/most women have a so called "fallback", and i'm also gonna overlook the fact that you condone such things. And instead i'm gonna try to make you understand my reasoning

What i'm trying to say is that no person deserves to be treated like that, getting toyed with their feelings that is. And since love/affection is one of the strongest emotions it also has the strongest impact on you if something were to go wrong. Now, she knew he liked her, told him that for some wack reason she didn't wanna be together with him, and tells him they can still be friends. And still beeing friends is still okey (even though i wouldn't have believed the "i'm not dating ppl for a year" bullshit but hey, that's just me xD). But as i said she then started flirting with this other guy, even though she knew bortz liked her, and even though she told him that it "wasn't him" but some other promise she had made herself (yeah right) that prevented her to be with him.

Now that right there, to me atleast, is seriously messed up. That's why i don't think you should be with her anymore bortz (unless she realises she's wrong and apologizes etc.etc). Or else you're just setting youself out to get hurt again and the second time it won't be her fault but yours

But hey, if that's what ya wanna do, sure, go ahead