Choose Your Own Adventure!

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Gahars, Jan 19, 2014.

  1. Gahars
    OP

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

    Member
    10,254
    17,404
    Aug 5, 2011
    United States
    New Jersey
    You awake, clutching at your head in pain. Though your surroundings are blurry at first, they quickly come into focus. You realize you've been teleported into the most dangerous land imaginable: Siberia.

    But fear not! For you see, there are 11 items set out before you (and a question mark, but ignore that, it's not an open question). Instinctually, somehow, you understand what each item does. You are also aware that you may choose only two; the rest will be tossed onto the street, never to be recovered again.

    Choose wisely.

    [​IMG]

    So, what will it be, GBAtemp?
     
    Foxi4 likes this.
  2. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

    pip Reporter
    23,671
    21,711
    Sep 13, 2009
    Poland
    Gaming Grotto
    I choose the Hussar Wings and the Tracksuit of Ultimate Cozyness - I am ready to face the harshness of Siberia! B-)
     
  3. FAST6191

    FAST6191 Techromancer

    pip Reporter
    23,865
    9,780
    Nov 21, 2005
    United Kingdom
    Infinite Kvass? Does anybody really two items if one of those is the option?

    That said I would also take the wings.
     
  4. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

    pip Reporter
    23,671
    21,711
    Sep 13, 2009
    Poland
    Gaming Grotto
    I just realized that there's a discrepancy in the rules you outlined.

    You see, in the "Sewers & Capitalist Swine" Core Handbook: Third Edition it's clearly stated that Slavs of the Polish variety have a passive skill called "Jazz Hands of Nicking", allowing them to always, regardless of any circumstances, obtain an additional, randomly-selected item when collecting loot or bartering.

    Should I roll my D20 now? Well... not "my" D20 - it used to be your D20, but you weren't looking so it's mine now. In any case, I think I should roll, unless this is a plot-related event, in which case I may suspend my disbelief and just roll with the story... I do like Salo though... :tpi:
     
    Gahars likes this.
  5. Gahars
    OP

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

    Member
    10,254
    17,404
    Aug 5, 2011
    United States
    New Jersey

    Leave it to Foxi to have a slavish attention to detail.
     
    Foxi4 likes this.
  6. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

    pip Contributor
    GBAtemp Patron
    Tom Bombadildo is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

    Our Patreon
    10,913
    11,093
    Jul 11, 2009
    United States
    I forgot
    Can I get 2 rubber fists? I want 2 rubber fists. For...reasons. :tpi:
     
    Luigi2012SM64DS, Ammako and Foxi4 like this.
  7. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

    pip Reporter
    23,671
    21,711
    Sep 13, 2009
    Poland
    Gaming Grotto
    I'm sure that the kinds of stiffies you'll be dealing with in Siberia will require something other than manhandling. :tpi:
     
  8. Flame

    Flame Me > You

    Member
    GBAtemp Patron
    Flame is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

    Our Patreon
    3,941
    5,299
    Jul 15, 2008
    I want the one where I'm the hero and get all the woman I want.
     
  9. FAST6191

    FAST6191 Techromancer

    pip Reporter
    23,865
    9,780
    Nov 21, 2005
    United Kingdom
    This is choose your own adventure. Hand puppets are two doors down on the left.
     
  10. Tom Bombadildo

    Tom Bombadildo Honk!

    pip Contributor
    GBAtemp Patron
    Tom Bombadildo is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

    Our Patreon
    10,913
    11,093
    Jul 11, 2009
    United States
    I forgot

    [​IMG]
     
    Foxi4 likes this.
  11. Flame

    Flame Me > You

    Member
    GBAtemp Patron
    Flame is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

    Our Patreon
    3,941
    5,299
    Jul 15, 2008
    [​IMG]
     
  12. FAST6191

    FAST6191 Techromancer

    pip Reporter
    23,865
    9,780
    Nov 21, 2005
    United Kingdom
    Like you would not have your own rendition of the Taming of the Size Changing Python. The story of how Miss Pamela and her five lovely daughters were overworked by the size changing python, the real controller of the kingdom, and then laid up with the cramps is an all time tearjerker. How then Mr Manus Gauche, previously thought of as a clumsy lout following an unspoken incident when the kingdom was but 15 years old, comes back to try to save the day. Hate to spoil the ending but the part where Manus Gauche is doing a surprisingly good job but still losing and Miss Pamela makes a surprise return... just unbridled joy at seeing that, the flashback to the training montage just icing on the cake really.


    I hear tell there is a new story being put on this year as well, it is called "Flick, the giant bean and the trip to the land of pleasure".
     
  13. Gahars
    OP

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

    Member
    10,254
    17,404
    Aug 5, 2011
    United States
    New Jersey
    Ukraine: A horrifying, disturbing situation... and now, apparently, a Choose Your Own Adventure of its very own.

    Warning: Spoilers inside!

    Choose wisely, and choose carefully, my friends.
     
  14. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

    pip Reporter
    23,671
    21,711
    Sep 13, 2009
    Poland
    Gaming Grotto
    I expected this to turn into a full-blown Slavquest D-20 adventure with Gahars as the Dungeon (Frozen Wasteland?) Master... You disappoint me, Gahars - where are our character sheets? :angry:
     
  15. Gahars
    OP

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

    Member
    10,254
    17,404
    Aug 5, 2011
    United States
    New Jersey

    Is too much effort, is too little drinking.
     
  16. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

    pip Reporter
    23,671
    21,711
    Sep 13, 2009
    Poland
    Gaming Grotto
    ...In Latvia, I would get much character sheet. :angry:

    ...just no potato... and soon death by malnutrition... such is life. Tear will salt potato... but there is no potato, only hallucinations from malnutrition. :(
     
  17. Gahars
    OP

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

    Member
    10,254
    17,404
    Aug 5, 2011
    United States
    New Jersey

    In Latvia, we have a saying: "Potato, potato."

    Do not pronounce differently. We just like potato.
     
    Veho likes this.
  18. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

    pip Reporter
    23,671
    21,711
    Sep 13, 2009
    Poland
    Gaming Grotto
    Do not sing loud, or Politburo hear!

    ...then again, when Politburo hear, there is only death...

    ...and in death, over is toil.

    Maybe song not so bad.
     
    Gahars likes this.
  19. BORTZ

    BORTZ You get a hat, and YOU get a hat!

    Supervisor
    GBAtemp Patron
    BORTZ is a Patron of GBAtemp and is helping us stay independent!

    Our Patreon
    11,758
    14,909
    Dec 2, 2007
    United States
    Pittsburgh
    I choose to sit and wait until the question mark becomes usable.
     
    EZ-Megaman and Foxi4 like this.