Update 12-28: I believe Xlink Kai will eventually be the best way to play Smash online, and I am moving over to it myself, but there's not many players using it yet. The following is my advice for getting the best experience playing Smash using ldn_mitm with Lan-Play, most of this advice is applicable to Xlink Kai as well.
Important:
1. Keep your software updated. This includes the game software, the lan-play client, your CFW, Switch OS (once confirmed safe), and the ldn_mitm system module. Note that the latter cannot be updated independantly of SX OS, so you may encounter more issues when using it as opposed to Atmosphere or ReiNX.
2. Try to have your Switch, the computer hosting the switch-lan-play client, and your internet source all connected by Ethernet. You technically can use WiFi on either your Switch or computer (or whatever device you have running the Lan-Play client), but your experience will generally be less laggy and more reliable with wired connections. BTW, you can use an Ethernet adapter in handheld mode by connecting it with a USB-C OTG adapter.
3. Make sure your Switch, the switch-lan-play client, and your router are all set to the correct MTU values for your internet provider, you can test it yourself at
http://www.letmecheck.it/mtu-test.php
You can change this value on the Switch in the internet settings configuration page (default value is 1400), with the switch-lan-play client by launching it with the --pmtu xxxx option, or better yet by changing the value in Lan-Play-Server-Manager. I personally use 1500.
4. If you're on Windows, use this, it's awesome
https://github.com/Urferu/Lan-Play-Server-Manager
5. If you're unfamiliar to the host and join a Smash room occupied with multiple players without asking first, don't be offended if your request is denied. One player with a laggy connection will ruin the game for the whole room, so many experienced hosts won't let someone they don't know in. The best practice is to first ask them for permission to join in the game specific channel on the Switch Lan Play Discord, or host your own room.
6. I can't stress this enough, but no matter how fast your internet connection, how powerful your computer, or how expensive your router, the world is a big place and you won't get a good connection with everyone, and maybe no one at all. Don't take it personally if someone doesn't want to play with you, and especially don't insult someone who is just trying to ensure a smooth and enjoyable experience for themselves and the people they're playing with.
Additional thoughts:
I use official Atmosphere booted with Fusee and recommend it for anyone wanting to use ldn_mitm, but the module has been dramatically improved on other platforms since I originally wrote this post, so your CFW choice should be mostly irrelevant as of writing this update.
I have also recently picked up the official Hori network adapter, and would recommend it if you're buying an adapter for the Switch. It works with Xlink Kai, which my old adapter did not, and I get the peace of mind that comes with knowing everything plugged into my Switch is Nintendo-approved, for whatever that's worth.
Good luck!