Things I hate about Batman

Discussion in 'The Edge of the Forum' started by Moots, Jan 25, 2009.

Jan 25, 2009

Things I hate about Batman by Moots at 2:02 AM (2,316 Views / 0 Likes) 22 replies

  1. Moots
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    Member Moots The Incredible Sulk

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    IRC conversation pieces from earlier, shared at the suggestion of an IRCer

    Batman= Worst comic book character ever! He's just a rich dude, picking on lowly criminals whe are just trying to get by.

    TO THE BAT YACHT ROBIN! DON"T FORGET THE BAT BLING AND THE NEW BATMOBILE ESCALADE DUB EDITION!

    His favourite projectile is the Bat Wallet. Thick with large bills.

    I bet batman doesn't even pay taxes, cause hes a prick like that.

    Batman wouldnt waste his time on some lower class punk kid, if he ran me over he'd prolly expect my parents to pay to have the blood removed from his 22 inch spinners

    Batman doesn't even tip at restaraunts. He's all like, "My tip? How about me keeping Gotham safe everyday is my tip, god damn bottom feeders, always want more"

    Not to mention the cops he's no doubt put out of a job.

    Of course he wears his suit at restaraunts, he hopes it'll make people give him free/discount meals.
    doesnt he have tons of money?
    Yeah, but he's still cheap like that

    Fuck, this one time, at Mcdonalds, Batman was eating in the booth across from me. He got a spider man toy in his happy meal. He walked up to the lady at the counter and bitch slapped her, spit in her face, and told her he was fucking insulted.

    Batman knows he's a fraud, with no actual super powers. Just a super income.

    Batman parks the bat mobile illegally, and he doesn't pay the ticket. He bitches at commisioner Gordon, and that traffic cop gets fired. These cops recieve a note from batman the following week, and it always says the same thing "park this, you low income public servant douche bag, I'm fucking batman. Who are you? A fucking nobody, and now you don't even have a fucking nobody job"

    And he signs it "Batman....Multi Billionaire"

    One time, Alfred had to go to see a specialist because he suffers from osteoperosis, and he needed monday off. Batman, the jerk he is, told alfred not only that he would be fired if he wasn't there monday, but he would personally break every fragile, brittle bone in his legs.

    He tookin robin, not because he needed a side kick, but needed a constant reminder of how much better and richer he is than everyone else.

    Let me ask you this, all the military and government work Wayne enterprises does, you'd think you'd see a wayne enterprises factory somewhere near gotham. Hell no, over seas labour is cheaper, and if you give the foremen bat whips its not only cheap but free.

    He does give each 6 year old who works for him a christmas gift though. Its a talking batman figure that says, fast hands mean less whipping.


    Those are just a few reasons I hate this elitist bastard.

    If I remember any others, I will share them so we can all hate this fraud together.
     


  2. Extreme Coder

    Member Extreme Coder GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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  3. Moots
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    Member Moots The Incredible Sulk

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    This one may be my favourite.

    The first time Batman visited an orphanage, he thought it was like an animal shelter for people. He told the orphanage worker, that the homely looking one was cute, and asked how much it was, how old he had to be before getting him fixed and if they have a good return policy, you know, in case the little fucker pisses on my rug.

    He then proceeded to whistle at the kid and tell him to sit, when the child looked confused and didn't sit, batman rolled up a newspaper and started whacking him in the nose with it. Saying it was the only way the little whelp would learn

    and to a lesser extent


    One time, I am about to go into a supermarket. I see a cop talking to an elderly man with a walker, because he was parked in a handicap spot with no handicap permit in the window. The old man was telling the cop how he eft it at his son's house, and would gladly pay the fine.The cop, very understandingly said no fine was in order, just to put it in the window before going else where. A nice tale no doubt.

    Then the prick batman sees this, walks over and asks the cop if this "Piece of shit" was giving him trouble.

    The cop explains the situation, and bat man turns to the old guy "Says is that so?" And kicks the guys walker away.

    Then tells the old man, that he isn't falling for the walker, and he better walk his ass into the store un aided or he was going to kick the shit out of him, then he's going to come back, aplogize to the cop, pay the maximum fine, and have his licsence revoked, cause hes too old to drive

    Then to top it all off, he has the cop fired "For almost letting a violent criminal walk away from the scene of a crime"
     
  4. Shakraka

    Member Shakraka GBAtemp Advanced Fan

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    Not only that, but he has a sick interest in teenage boys:

    [​IMG]
     
  5. nin10do

    Member nin10do GBAtemp Fan

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    i've found peoples opinions on batman to be a lot like anime... they either love it or completely hate it.

    also batman has throat cancer in the movie xD.

    i kinda grew up reading the comics so he's always going to be one of my fav characters.
     
  6. VVoltz

    Member VVoltz The Pirate Lord

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    I would like to know what Hadrian thinks about this thread. Me and Batmand are Hadrian's personal heroes =)
     
  7. Man18

    Member Man18 GBAtemp Maniac

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    weak.
     
  8. Moots
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    Member Moots The Incredible Sulk

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    Weak? You want to know what is weak? Your Face.....Among other things.


    I posted this at the request of an IRCer, not for your approval, so here's what I want you to do.

    Take your comedic expertise and walk your panzy ass out of my thread.


    BUT maybe one day I will post something upto your comedic standards you dumb prick.


    Harsh? A little, perhaps.....but not as harsh as looking at your face.

    Double Face burn high five anyone?
     
  9. Man18

    Member Man18 GBAtemp Maniac

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    Bowel Movement

    Posts merged

    I am not allowed to actually post the image I have created.... but its moots blowing p1ngy. Cuz Paint plug .gif is fun.

    Posts merged

    In addition....13 year old finally allowed on these forums tried to pwn me.

    Posts merged


    PS He isnt really canadian he is my little brother.

    Posts merged


    This is a lot more fun than you would think
     
  10. p1ngpong

    Supervisor p1ngpong Legit Boss Harold

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    Things I hate about Batman:

    Warning: Spoilers inside!



    nice
     
  11. p1ngpong

    Supervisor p1ngpong Legit Boss Harold

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    Ok I just had a horrible thought, are you being serious about him being your brother?


    Theres two of you now?

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Hadrian

    Former Staff Hadrian Better than Craigslist

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    Meh people have their own opinions, besides this thread is really serious is it?

    For me Batman is a character that has always changed to meet certain times. That is what I love about the character, seems to be really adaptable. You can have him doing his thing either in Victorian times or in times that have yet to happen. Saying that there have been a lot of writers who have written for the comic that have completley missed the point of this character.

    Personally I think him not having any powers makes him better and braver then most other comic book heroes. While most people cry, piss and moan about a tradegy in their life or try to ease the pain by lavashing themselves in things they've bought, Bruce Wayne used his money and his status in society to fight back so that less people have to deal with what he has dealt with when he was a child.

    P1ngy is right about Bales voice though.
     
  13. warmijwilfaain

    Member warmijwilfaain War Mage MILF

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    Shut up [​IMG] BATMAN IS WIN AND YOU KNOW IT [​IMG]
     
  14. ShakeBunny

    Member ShakeBunny GBAtemp Fan

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    Haha, although Batman is my favorite hero, this was pretty funny.

    I've got to agree with Moots on this one guys. He posted something he wanted people to see, and there's nothing wrong with that as long as what he posts doesn't break any rules.

    Anyway, congrats on a very funny EOF thread. It's pretty difficult to find these now.
     
  15. UltraMagnus

    Member UltraMagnus hic sunt dracones

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    exactly.

    all other super hero's are just whiny bitches that lucked out and were born with or accidentally got super powers. batman just went STFU bitch to life and made his own!
     
  16. Man18

    Member Man18 GBAtemp Maniac

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    Dead serious.


    AND THE WHOLE DC Universe is fucked up.

    Nyuh
     
  17. science

    Member science science rules

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    This is what I hate about Batman. He is super mean

     
  18. p1ngpong

    Supervisor p1ngpong Legit Boss Harold

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    lol wtf?


    So when Bale gets mad he rants in a regionally non-descriptive accent now?


    Say it dont spray it Chris.
     
  19. Man18

    Member Man18 GBAtemp Maniac

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    Havent you seen Reign of Fire?
     
  20. imz

    Member imz GBAtemp's vigilante

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    Batman=win
    this topic=fail

    I would debate but i can't be bothered [​IMG]
     

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