thaddius' Console Roast 2014 Edition - Round 15 - Console Semi-Final

Discussion in 'General Gaming Discussion' started by thaddius, May 30, 2014.

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Worst Console Semi-Final

Poll closed Jun 6, 2014.
  1. The Nintendo Color TV Game

    19 vote(s)
    4.0%
  2. The Fairchild Channel F

    35 vote(s)
    7.3%
  3. The Casio PV-1000

    24 vote(s)
    5.0%
  4. The Phillips CD-i

    225 vote(s)
    47.0%
  5. The Panasonic 3DO

    30 vote(s)
    6.3%
  6. The Microsoft Xbox

    21 vote(s)
    4.4%
  7. The Microsoft Xbox 360

    48 vote(s)
    10.0%
  8. The OUYA

    77 vote(s)
    16.1%
  1. thaddius
    OP

    thaddius Charmander is not pleased.

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    Welcome back to thaddius’ Console Roast 2014 Edition. For those of you who are not aware this is a poll where you, the GBATemp user, get to vote on what GBATemp thinks is the worst console ever is. For more information check out the Rules section below.

    Recap:
    After a brief period at the beginning where two consoles were nearly tied eventually the votes surged in favour of this week’s winner:
    [​IMG]
    The Tiger R-Zone! Congratulations Tiger!

    The Tiger R-Zone is officially GBAtemp’s least favourite handheld.

    Wow. Just wow. We couldn’t have done it without you, Tiger. Your wearable/portable console was so bad it helped detract from Nintendo’s Virtual Boy. And on top of that it trounced the Nokia N-Gage for the coveted title of GBATemp’s least favourite handheld.

    Some people were quick to defend the N-Gage as, in perspective, it’s probably not the worst handheld ever. Just not a very good one. It was a phone first, after all. And while that may not actually be relevant it seemed to be enough to save it from the infamy of thaddius’ Console Roast.

    Anyway: rules!

    Rules:
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Enough of that crap, time to get started!

    Intro:
    We’ve finished with those pesky handhelds so now it’s time for the consoles! For our console semi-final we’ll run down all the ‘winning’ consoles of past polls to determine the worst one ever.

    The Nintendo Color TV Game
    [​IMG]
    Tsk tsk! Another case of not knowing what you’re voting for! Despite the fact that it was facing off against ‘Generic Pong Clones’ this thing won. Go figure?

    No one was going to vote for the Magnavox Odyssey or the Atari Pong, and I guess Coleco’s Telstar series was at least versatile if not the best looking console ever.

    Is the Nintendo Color TV Game the worst console ever?

    The Fairchild Channel F
    [​IMG]
    In the age of fake wood paneling the Fiarchild Channel F won for it’s goofy controllers and goofy name.

    In a generation so bloated by consoles that fail to differentiate themselves from each other the Channel F beat out both the Atari 2600 and the 5200, as well as the Colecovision, the Intellivision, and the Odyssey2.

    This may have been the generation that caused the crash of ’83 but it will forever the the generation of the Channel F for the rest of us.

    Is the Channel F worthy of the worst console moniker?

    The Casio PV-1000
    [​IMG]
    Facing off against the Atari 7800, the Sega SG-1000, and the Sega Master System somehow the PV-1000 won the day, possibly because it’s the rarest of the bunch and was at the beginning of a long line of Japan-only consoles.

    The NES wasn’t completely unscathed in this battle which would make me certain that there are people out there who are complete morons. I’d like to see which of the Gen 3 consoles those NES haters would prefer over Nintendo’s flagship console.

    It’s obscure, but does that make it the worst console ever?

    The Philips CD-i
    [​IMG]
    Not even a fair fight! While the Neo Geo AES may have had a good go at it, there was no denying that a bunch of absolutely terrible Zelda and Mario games would be enough to anger the Temp collective.

    The Genesis/Mega Drive and SNES were voted for by the last bastions of the Blast Processing fanboy wars, and there were those who felt the Turbo GraFX/PC Engine wasn’t up to snuff either.

    In the end I’m not too disappointed with the result, but is the CD-i that bad?

    The Panasonic 3DO
    [​IMG]
    None of the big three should ever be winning this battle, and this generation was not to buck that trend. The N64, PS1, and the Saturn walked away with a very small percentage of the votes. The Amiga is too well loved across the pond to have won and the Jaguar was just underneath the radar.

    Personally I would have a hard time choosing between the Jaguar and 3DO, but I’m not surprised the 3DO won. Will the 3DO be our worst console ever?

    The Microsoft Xbox
    [​IMG]
    Colour me surprised! I get that the Dreamcast has a cult following (one I was under the impression had passed its prime) and that the Gamecube left us with some of the greatest games of the generation, but the Xbox?!

    I guess I’d be a little weirded out no matter what was voted for in this generation. I’m glad I didn’t have to choose. :P

    You guys don’t seriously think this is the worst console ever though, do you?

    The Microsoft Xbox 360
    [​IMG]
    Another Xbox system? Wow. I was not really expecting that. You guys like the Wii too much I guess.

    What else is there to say? Y’all voted the Xbox 360 as the worst console of the seventh generation.

    I’m going to be stunned if this one wins. Stunned.

    The OUYA
    [​IMG]
    No surprises here, right? I’d wager it’s not a bad system on it’s own, but compared to the Wii U, Xbone, and PS4 it’s a no brainer. But is it the worst ever?

    Outro:
    This is the last semi-final round guys! We did it! But wait! This isn’t the last round! I’ll see you next week when we discuss our FINAL round where we pit the winners of the two semi-finals against each other and see which system we REALLY hate. And in the meantime I may see you in the comments.

    Current Standings:
    [​IMG]
     
  2. KingVamp

    KingVamp Great... AETHER!

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    A company that made Zelda games that should have never existed and is trying to sue Nintendo. Guess what console I'm picking.
     
  3. Gahars

    Gahars Bakayaro Banzai

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    The Philips CD-i, much like the screwdriver, is getting nailed.
     
  4. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Gaming Grotto
    Out of the ones in the poll... Nintendo TV Color Games. There was nothing terribly original about them, they were just copycats of western machines which is why they're not "the" games that made Nintendo blow up.

    EDIT: Come to think of it, there's a lot of failures in this semi-final, the PV-1000 is a pretty spectacular disaster, then there's the CD-i... I might've been too harsh in my judgement. Oh well - my vote won't tip the scales anyways. :P
     
  5. Sakitoshi

    Sakitoshi everything is going according the plan...

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    The CD-i was more a VHS player than a console that's why failed so hard trying to do what can't. the rest of the cast looks well compared to the CD-i or don't even are bad but where voted because needs to be a "winner".
     
  6. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    That's... debatable. At the very least the CD-i was consistently sold on the market, the PV-1000 flopped so bad that it was recalled after a few weeks. The only comparable flop that comes to mind was the Virtual Boy and that wasn't nearly as bad as Casio's machine.
     
  7. Sakitoshi

    Sakitoshi everything is going according the plan...

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    I take the commercial success as a 2nd, so even when the CD-i sold good enough the Casio at least had good games(Dig-Dug, Super Cobra), the CD-i on the other hand...
     
  8. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    I'm compelled to say that the CD-i had some good games too. Hotel Mario doesn't look half-bad, there's a lot of good point-and-clicks like Myst or The 7th Guest, the system also had the "definitive" version of Dragon's Lair and Space Ace at the time due to video playback capabilities. It wasn't all bad, it just wasn't primarily a console... it did suck though. :P
     
  9. cdoty

    cdoty GBAtemp Fan

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    Playstation fanboys unite!

    Seriously, how could either of those be the worst?

    Halo.. Gears of War... Need I go on?
     
    chavosaur likes this.
  10. cdoty

    cdoty GBAtemp Fan

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    15 good games to be exact:
    14,800¥ /15 is roughly 1000¥ per game.

    The CDi had a few hidden gems. In developing Frog Feast, for the CDi, I talked with cdifan (author of the CD-i Emulator) and was exposed to The Vision Factory. They developed Dimo's Quest, The Apprentice, etc (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPC_Vision for a full list), which are console quality games.

    The big problem was that the system required a lot of optimizing. Unlike consoles, there was no game specific graphics hardware. And, unlike the Amiga or Atari ST, the system was pushing an 8 bit display, without a blitter.
     
  11. matpower

    matpower A Hero of Justice

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    Okay, there is no way to someone vote the Xbox and X360.
    I am voting on the CDi, that thing sucked so bad and it could have killed Zelda and Mario.
     
  12. Fishaman P

    Fishaman P Speedrunner

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    Why are you all ripping on the CDi so hard? I used to have one, and it was the best thing to happen to me until my parents gave it away!
    I could have played Pinball for six hours straight easily (which is saying something for a child), and Sticky Bear Reading was surprisingly good too.
     
  13. matpower

    matpower A Hero of Justice

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    Did you own a SNES/Mega Drive(Or Genesis in the USA) too?
    Else that explains why you like such piece of trash. :P
     
  14. WiiCube_2013

    WiiCube_2013 GBAtemp Guru

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    I don't get why Xbox 360 is in this list (guess it was voted higher previously as one of the worst) because it's a pretty damn good gaming console, aside from its hardware issues and such.

    I voted for Philips CD-i, I never played on one and don't really want to anyway. I'm surprised that Wii isn't in this list because it had a shit-ton of crappy shovelware games.
     
  15. codezer0

    codezer0 Gaming keeps me sane

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    A lot of these have plenty of good reason to be here, that's for sure. That said, the CD-i gets my vote because when it comes down to it, it's the only one of this list to treat gaming as purely as an afterthought as a 'video game console' could (il)legally get away with. The factory controllers were terrible, and if you for some reason had a friend who wanted to play as well, it put the second controller port in the back, which meant having to lug out a brick of a box that weighed about 7000 tons to get to where the port was.

    I can't entirely fault the RF connector generation for looking awful, as that was simply the limits of what we had available to deal with. However, for a system that actually had CD's as its primary medium, it really could have stood to look better. Somehow, even after coming out much later than it, the CD-i looks worse than a SegaCD, which at least had a manufacturing bug to limit its ability to output a higher resolution than it theoretically should've been able to.

    The 3DO has its place, and managed to be the first proper 32bit system, and the first to really start using the CD medium correctly. Yes, it got an awful lot of really crap FMV games, but it also had some gems on it that I would buy the system for if I could get them as well... or simply burn them as long as I had an intact 3DO because of its utter lack of copy protection.

    The Original Xbox was better than I initially gave it credit for. Granted at the time I was too broke to have afforded or maintained an Xbox Live membership anyway, which is why I regrettably was stuck with the PlayStation2, and its legendarily awful build quality. The biggest sin of the system, however, was a controller that seemed designed for hands belonging to a species that hasn't visited Planet Earth yet. Try as I might, the original 'Duke' controller never felt comfortable, and ultimately felt more like a novelty, compared to the re-designed S controller that became the new default. It's honestly frustrating that there has yet to be a fully proper Original Xbox emulator because there are a fair few titles I would love to pick up and (re)play again, and my searches for an intact one have been ineffective.

    Also, the way people harp on about it, I must be the only person that either has been extremely fortunate with the Xbox 360 or simply just had the good mind to pay the extra for the in-store replacement plan. See, my one and only RRoD was with a launch model, which failed because of the hard drive, not because of anything mechanically wrong with the system itself. That said, because of the length of the warranty, and because of the depreciation in price since then, I was able to then pick up an Elite, that has been my tank ever since. And thanks to some fellow tempers, I can now say I successfully repaired a second-hand one I was given. :)

    As for the Ouya? Three words: Angry. birds. console.

    Yet even with that douchey casual hipster play black mark upon it, the CD-i still somehow manages to supercede everything after it as the worst console on this list.
     
  16. KingVamp

    KingVamp Great... AETHER!

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    :lol:

    Come on now. You can't seriously think the Xbox (360) or the Ouya is worst than the CD-i or any other thing on this list really.
     
  17. xwatchmanx

    xwatchmanx GBAtemp's (Un)Ironic Weeaboo

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    Nintendo Color TV Game, for sure. Seriously, those games just hurt to look at.
     
  18. SickPuppy

    SickPuppy New Member

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    I thought that the Dreamcast was known as the worst gaming console, until the Vita was released. I remember a news post of some of the ex-Dreamcast devs having a party because the Vita sales were worse that that of the Dreamcast.
     
  19. Foxi4

    Foxi4 On the hunt...

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    Yeah, no. *Points at the corner of the room.* There. That's where you stand. Facing the wall. Go. Now! :angry:
     
  20. SickPuppy

    SickPuppy New Member

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