Welcome back to thaddius’ Console Roast 2014 Edition. For those of you who are not aware this is a poll where you, the GBATemp user, get to vote on what GBATemp thinks is the worst console ever is. For more information check out the Rules section below.
Recap:
After a brief period at the beginning where two consoles were nearly tied eventually the votes surged in favour of this week’s winner:
The Tiger R-Zone! Congratulations Tiger!
The Tiger R-Zone is officially GBAtemp’s least favourite handheld.
Wow. Just wow. We couldn’t have done it without you, Tiger. Your wearable/portable console was so bad it helped detract from Nintendo’s Virtual Boy. And on top of that it trounced the Nokia N-Gage for the coveted title of GBATemp’s least favourite handheld.
Some people were quick to defend the N-Gage as, in perspective, it’s probably not the worst handheld ever. Just not a very good one. It was a phone first, after all. And while that may not actually be relevant it seemed to be enough to save it from the infamy of thaddius’ Console Roast.
Anyway: rules!
Rules:
Enough of that crap, time to get started!
Intro:
We’ve finished with those pesky handhelds so now it’s time for the consoles! For our console semi-final we’ll run down all the ‘winning’ consoles of past polls to determine the worst one ever.
The Nintendo Color TV Game
Tsk tsk! Another case of not knowing what you’re voting for! Despite the fact that it was facing off against ‘Generic Pong Clones’ this thing won. Go figure?
No one was going to vote for the Magnavox Odyssey or the Atari Pong, and I guess Coleco’s Telstar series was at least versatile if not the best looking console ever.
Is the Nintendo Color TV Game the worst console ever?
The Fairchild Channel F
In the age of fake wood paneling the Fiarchild Channel F won for it’s goofy controllers and goofy name.
In a generation so bloated by consoles that fail to differentiate themselves from each other the Channel F beat out both the Atari 2600 and the 5200, as well as the Colecovision, the Intellivision, and the Odyssey2.
This may have been the generation that caused the crash of ’83 but it will forever the the generation of the Channel F for the rest of us.
Is the Channel F worthy of the worst console moniker?
The Casio PV-1000
Facing off against the Atari 7800, the Sega SG-1000, and the Sega Master System somehow the PV-1000 won the day, possibly because it’s the rarest of the bunch and was at the beginning of a long line of Japan-only consoles.
The NES wasn’t completely unscathed in this battle which would make me certain that there are people out there who are complete morons. I’d like to see which of the Gen 3 consoles those NES haters would prefer over Nintendo’s flagship console.
It’s obscure, but does that make it the worst console ever?
The Philips CD-i
Not even a fair fight! While the Neo Geo AES may have had a good go at it, there was no denying that a bunch of absolutely terrible Zelda and Mario games would be enough to anger the Temp collective.
The Genesis/Mega Drive and SNES were voted for by the last bastions of the Blast Processing fanboy wars, and there were those who felt the Turbo GraFX/PC Engine wasn’t up to snuff either.
In the end I’m not too disappointed with the result, but is the CD-i that bad?
The Panasonic 3DO
None of the big three should ever be winning this battle, and this generation was not to buck that trend. The N64, PS1, and the Saturn walked away with a very small percentage of the votes. The Amiga is too well loved across the pond to have won and the Jaguar was just underneath the radar.
Personally I would have a hard time choosing between the Jaguar and 3DO, but I’m not surprised the 3DO won. Will the 3DO be our worst console ever?
The Microsoft Xbox
Colour me surprised! I get that the Dreamcast has a cult following (one I was under the impression had passed its prime) and that the Gamecube left us with some of the greatest games of the generation, but the Xbox?!
I guess I’d be a little weirded out no matter what was voted for in this generation. I’m glad I didn’t have to choose.
You guys don’t seriously think this is the worst console ever though, do you?
The Microsoft Xbox 360
Another Xbox system? Wow. I was not really expecting that. You guys like the Wii too much I guess.
What else is there to say? Y’all voted the Xbox 360 as the worst console of the seventh generation.
I’m going to be stunned if this one wins. Stunned.
The OUYA
No surprises here, right? I’d wager it’s not a bad system on it’s own, but compared to the Wii U, Xbone, and PS4 it’s a no brainer. But is it the worst ever?
Outro:
This is the last semi-final round guys! We did it! But wait! This isn’t the last round! I’ll see you next week when we discuss our FINAL round where we pit the winners of the two semi-finals against each other and see which system we REALLY hate. And in the meantime I may see you in the comments.
Current Standings:
Recap:
After a brief period at the beginning where two consoles were nearly tied eventually the votes surged in favour of this week’s winner:
The Tiger R-Zone! Congratulations Tiger!
The Tiger R-Zone is officially GBAtemp’s least favourite handheld.
Wow. Just wow. We couldn’t have done it without you, Tiger. Your wearable/portable console was so bad it helped detract from Nintendo’s Virtual Boy. And on top of that it trounced the Nokia N-Gage for the coveted title of GBATemp’s least favourite handheld.
Some people were quick to defend the N-Gage as, in perspective, it’s probably not the worst handheld ever. Just not a very good one. It was a phone first, after all. And while that may not actually be relevant it seemed to be enough to save it from the infamy of thaddius’ Console Roast.
Anyway: rules!
Rules:
There can only be one!
Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Friday now.
We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER.
Your only job, Mr. or Ms. GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic.
In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all...
The Generations are taken from Wikipedia as I've deemed that to be an appropriate neutral third party. I understand if you might have some concerns that I've put things in the wrong generation in your opinion, but I'm not too concerned about that. Generations are murky constructs at best and are based on arbitrary distinctions made by outsiders as post hoc rationalizations that don't mean anything to anyone anyway.
If I left out/included a certain console/handheld you think does/doesn't belong there I'm probably not going to include/not include them anyway. Basically don't take any of this too seriously. I'm not going to change the polls based on your opinion of them. I also can't change the polls once I've created them. The fact that people keep telling me to change things means that no one reads this but whatever. It's not like anyone cares about what I have to say.
Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k?
Each week I pit each console generation against itself to determine what the worst console of that generation was. Updates will hopefully be up every Friday now.
We’re going to work our way up through consoles and handhelds until we reach the current generation. Once that’s all done, we’ll determine the worst console and the worst handheld. From there we choose the definitive GBATemp-approved WORST CONSOLE EVER.
Your only job, Mr. or Ms. GBATemper, is to cast your vote for what you think the worst of the generation is. Please try to do some research, watch some videos, maybe play a few of these games on a (completely legitimate) emulator, and you just might learn a little about the weird amorphous blob that is video game history. But I can't (and won't) keep you from just shooting from the uninformed hip. You're also encouraged to explain your choice in the form of a response to this topic.
In the event of a tie, I (Sir thaddius prigg) will cast the deciding vote. It is my Roast after all...
The Generations are taken from Wikipedia as I've deemed that to be an appropriate neutral third party. I understand if you might have some concerns that I've put things in the wrong generation in your opinion, but I'm not too concerned about that. Generations are murky constructs at best and are based on arbitrary distinctions made by outsiders as post hoc rationalizations that don't mean anything to anyone anyway.
If I left out/included a certain console/handheld you think does/doesn't belong there I'm probably not going to include/not include them anyway. Basically don't take any of this too seriously. I'm not going to change the polls based on your opinion of them. I also can't change the polls once I've created them. The fact that people keep telling me to change things means that no one reads this but whatever. It's not like anyone cares about what I have to say.
Aggressive discussion is allowed, but please try to keep within the rules of the forums. Just try to have fun and don’t be a jerk, k?
Intro:
We’ve finished with those pesky handhelds so now it’s time for the consoles! For our console semi-final we’ll run down all the ‘winning’ consoles of past polls to determine the worst one ever.
The Nintendo Color TV Game
Tsk tsk! Another case of not knowing what you’re voting for! Despite the fact that it was facing off against ‘Generic Pong Clones’ this thing won. Go figure?
No one was going to vote for the Magnavox Odyssey or the Atari Pong, and I guess Coleco’s Telstar series was at least versatile if not the best looking console ever.
Is the Nintendo Color TV Game the worst console ever?
The Fairchild Channel F
In the age of fake wood paneling the Fiarchild Channel F won for it’s goofy controllers and goofy name.
In a generation so bloated by consoles that fail to differentiate themselves from each other the Channel F beat out both the Atari 2600 and the 5200, as well as the Colecovision, the Intellivision, and the Odyssey2.
This may have been the generation that caused the crash of ’83 but it will forever the the generation of the Channel F for the rest of us.
Is the Channel F worthy of the worst console moniker?
The Casio PV-1000
Facing off against the Atari 7800, the Sega SG-1000, and the Sega Master System somehow the PV-1000 won the day, possibly because it’s the rarest of the bunch and was at the beginning of a long line of Japan-only consoles.
The NES wasn’t completely unscathed in this battle which would make me certain that there are people out there who are complete morons. I’d like to see which of the Gen 3 consoles those NES haters would prefer over Nintendo’s flagship console.
It’s obscure, but does that make it the worst console ever?
The Philips CD-i
Not even a fair fight! While the Neo Geo AES may have had a good go at it, there was no denying that a bunch of absolutely terrible Zelda and Mario games would be enough to anger the Temp collective.
The Genesis/Mega Drive and SNES were voted for by the last bastions of the Blast Processing fanboy wars, and there were those who felt the Turbo GraFX/PC Engine wasn’t up to snuff either.
In the end I’m not too disappointed with the result, but is the CD-i that bad?
The Panasonic 3DO
None of the big three should ever be winning this battle, and this generation was not to buck that trend. The N64, PS1, and the Saturn walked away with a very small percentage of the votes. The Amiga is too well loved across the pond to have won and the Jaguar was just underneath the radar.
Personally I would have a hard time choosing between the Jaguar and 3DO, but I’m not surprised the 3DO won. Will the 3DO be our worst console ever?
The Microsoft Xbox
Colour me surprised! I get that the Dreamcast has a cult following (one I was under the impression had passed its prime) and that the Gamecube left us with some of the greatest games of the generation, but the Xbox?!
I guess I’d be a little weirded out no matter what was voted for in this generation. I’m glad I didn’t have to choose.
You guys don’t seriously think this is the worst console ever though, do you?
The Microsoft Xbox 360
Another Xbox system? Wow. I was not really expecting that. You guys like the Wii too much I guess.
What else is there to say? Y’all voted the Xbox 360 as the worst console of the seventh generation.
I’m going to be stunned if this one wins. Stunned.
The OUYA
No surprises here, right? I’d wager it’s not a bad system on it’s own, but compared to the Wii U, Xbone, and PS4 it’s a no brainer. But is it the worst ever?
Outro:
This is the last semi-final round guys! We did it! But wait! This isn’t the last round! I’ll see you next week when we discuss our FINAL round where we pit the winners of the two semi-finals against each other and see which system we REALLY hate. And in the meantime I may see you in the comments.
Current Standings:
