My Story

[TheTwoR's]

TBH I think you should turn this into a book when it's complete. Seriously.
EDIT: I see lots of noticeable spelling mistakes. No problem, they're just typos, but I wanted to point that out. No grammar mistakes though.

 

[Nujui]

I read the first part and then realised you'd just re-crafted the Persona 3 intro with Igor and the contract....
Yeah, I sort of did that.

Though when I get further, it's going to be a bit more complected with those things.

QUOTE(Sheaperd121 @ Feb 21 2011, 08:00 AM) I'm going to come up with a choice system. One certain choice is coming up, and it impacts the story depending on what you chose.

Also, another part is up

I get it now. It's actually not much like a story, but rather it feels like some sort of graphic novel or text based adventure.

Sort of like that.

I just like choices in stories. I don't really know why.

 

[Nujui]

Could you guys tell me what you think of this? It's a short story I've been writing.

Spoiler

I don't really know how to tell you this. I've been playing the whole thing inside my mind, and it still doesn't make sense. Though, you three pieces of paper are the only friends I have. The only things that I have been able to tell my story too. I just hope that you're able to take it all in. You've been lying there for 3 years and I've never touch you. But now....nearing the end of my life, I feel the need to tell somebody the events that occurred to me. Even if it doesn't talk.

But I'm rambling now. I don't have much space or time. So I've better make this as brief as possible. So here is my story.

My name is Ryan Gee. I'm am a both a writer and a painter. Both arts I do very well, though I'm more into writing than art. I feel more useful if I write. Don't ask me why.

I've written many best selling books in my time. Most notably “The Magical Pen”. It was a story of a boy that stumbled upon a magical pen. Whatever he wrote would come true. Though the pen is not only magical, but is also evil. When the boy grabbed the pen, it sent the evil inside his mind. Delving into it trying to find the desires of that person, it corrupted him. At the point that the boy had nothing to live for. He wrote one final sentence.

“I want everyone to just go away...”

Everyone had gone away. All that is living and none living was gone. When the boy noticed his mistake, he tried to bring everyone back, but there was one big problem.

The pen was out of ink. The boy had gotten his wish, and he lived the rest of his days alone.

Now, I thought this story was not my best of work, though fans said otherwise. But little did I know that when I wrote this, I for told the future. The future of my mistake.

I was at a flea market one day and noticed quite a marvelous pen. I was looking for new one at the time, but the one there just seemed to draw me towards it. It was a hefty price to pay, but when I grabbed that pen I just felt....I don't know. Like this was the greatest thing in my life. The lady did warn me though that the pen was cursed, but I didn't listen to her. I do remember her saying this as I walked away.

“Foolish man....”

I went home straight away and began writing. I usually test out new pens by just writing a sentence. So I wrote.

“I want a cup of tea.”

And just as I wrote this, did a cup of tea pop up right in front of me. I was both shocked and astounded by watch just happened. I didn't believe it at first, so I tried something else.

“I want 10 dollars.”

Nothing came, but when I checked my wallet, I noticed a extra 10 dollars inside it that I don't remember ever having.

 

[Sephxus]

Could you guys tell me what you think of this? It's a short story I've been writing.

Spoiler

I don't really know how to tell you this. I've been playing the whole thing inside my mind, and it still doesn't make sense. Though, you three pieces of paper are the only friends I have. The only things that I have been able to tell my story too. I just hope that you're able to take it all in. You've been lying there for 3 years and I've never touch you. But now....nearing the end of my life, I feel the need to tell somebody the events that occurred to me. Even if it doesn't talk.

But I'm rambling now. I don't have much space or time. So I've better make this as brief as possible. So here is my story.

My name is Ryan Gee. I'm am a both a writer and a painter. Both arts I do very well, though I'm more into writing than art. I feel more useful if I write. Don't ask me why.

I've written many best selling books in my time. Most notably “The Magical Pen”. It was a story of a boy that stumbled upon a magical pen. Whatever he wrote would come true. Though the pen is not only magical, but is also evil. When the boy grabbed the pen, it sent the evil inside his mind. Delving into it trying to find the desires of that person, it corrupted him. At the point that the boy had nothing to live for. He wrote one final sentence.

“I want everyone to just go away...”

Everyone had gone away. All that is living and none living was gone. When the boy noticed his mistake, he tried to bring everyone back, but there was one big problem.

The pen was out of ink. The boy had gotten his wish, and he lived the rest of his days alone.

Now, I thought this story was not my best of work, though fans said otherwise. But little did I know that when I wrote this, I for told the future. The future of my mistake.

I was at a flea market one day and noticed quite a marvelous pen. I was looking for new one at the time, but the one there just seemed to draw me towards it. It was a hefty price to pay, but when I grabbed that pen I just felt....I don't know. Like this was the greatest thing in my life. The lady did warn me though that the pen was cursed, but I didn't listen to her. I do remember her saying this as I walked away.

“Foolish man....”

I went home straight away and began writing. I usually test out new pens by just writing a sentence. So I wrote.

“I want a cup of tea.”

And just as I wrote this, did a cup of tea pop up right in front of me. I was both shocked and astounded by watch just happened. I didn't believe it at first, so I tried something else.

“I want 10 dollars.”

Nothing came, but when I checked my wallet, I noticed a extra 10 dollars inside it that I don't remember ever having.

It is a good start. Don't take this the wrong way, but that story has been told several times, even Ryan Gee wrote about it. You can,however, make it unique by telling a great adventure. Don't focus too much on the concept, since it has already been used (magic pens and foretelling the future), focus on the story and I'm sure everyone will enjoy it.

 

[Shockwind]

Your story's pretty good, I like it.

It getting better and better. Keep it up.

 

[Nujui]

I've been thinking of posting my little fanfic here, but something is telling me that wouldn't be such a good idea.

 

[SmokeFox]

I've been thinking of posting my little fanfic here, but something is telling me that wouldn't be such a good idea.

Well, you could try and post to us, i would like to see that.

 

[Shockwind]

If it's a bad idea, don't post, because other says fanfiction is bad. (Well, some of the stories.) If it's not a bad idea posting your fanfic here, then post it. I would like to read it.