My Story

Discussion in 'GBAtemp Art Studio' started by Nujui, Feb 9, 2011.

  1. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    I've decided to put my story here instead of the blogs, so is what I have so far.

    Part 1
    Warning: Spoilers inside!


    Part 2
    Warning: Spoilers inside!
    Part 3
    Warning: Spoilers inside!

    Part 4
    Warning: Spoilers inside!

    Part 5
    Warning: Spoilers inside!

    Part 6

    Warning: Spoilers inside!
     


  2. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    New part up. Haven't written in a while.
     
  3. Blaze163

    Blaze163 The White Phoenix's purifying flame.

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    Didn't realise we had an art section of the site. Maybe I should post parts of 'Requiem' here. Everyone seems keen to read it.
     
  4. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    It's been here for sometime now, just hasn't been use a lot.

    Do you like my story?
     
  5. Sterling

    Sterling GBAtemp's Silver Hero

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    Keeps getting better and better. Perhaps when you get further, a chapter with the back story of the way of the chosen would be in order.
     
  6. KingdomBlade

    KingdomBlade Blade v3+ (I R SHMEXY)

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    In Vulpes' Fur
    It's good but it feels unoriginal, like it was derived from something else.
     
  7. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    What do you mean? Do you mean that some aspects of another story are in mine? Cause I wrote this out in openoffice and then just put it here.
     
  8. SmokeFox

    SmokeFox Jesus Christ is the Lord

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    I think that he means that the story is not yours, that you take from another place, for me its great. I liked it.
     
  9. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Nope, I wrote this myself. I would never take anyone elses work.
     
  10. KingdomBlade

    KingdomBlade Blade v3+ (I R SHMEXY)

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    In Vulpes' Fur
    That's not what I mean. I mean that it feels oddly reminiscent of something. Like an old video game or a book or movie or perhaps, it may even feel like an anime plot. I feel that you found your inspiration elsewhere.
     
  11. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Well, the thing that inspired me to write was some games and books I read. Though I thought of this for a little while know, and I didn't really begin writing this until a little while ago.
     
  12. Sterling

    Sterling GBAtemp's Silver Hero

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    It isn't bad. There are't many original ideas to write fiction about anymore. Just different takes and spins.
     
  13. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    I'm trying to think of a name for a girl I'm going to be showing you in the next part.

    Anyone got any ideas?
     
  14. SmokeFox

    SmokeFox Jesus Christ is the Lord

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    How about Lucy?
     
  15. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    That seems good, I may just use that.
     
  16. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    New part up.
     
  17. Nujui
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    Nujui I need something to do.

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    Dreamland.
    I'm going to come up with a choice system. One certain choice is coming up, and it impacts the story depending on what you chose.

    Also, another part is up
     
  18. KingdomBlade

    KingdomBlade Blade v3+ (I R SHMEXY)

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    In Vulpes' Fur
    I get it now. It's actually not much like a story, but rather it feels like some sort of graphic novel or text based adventure.
     
  19. TheTwoR's

    TheTwoR's Yay I can finally edit this thingy :D

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    Wow, these are really good!
    Normally when a post on GBAtemp is seriously long, whether a blog, or a story, or whatever, I wouldn't read it.
    But you managed to entertain me while I was reading this for I don't know how many minutes.
    Thanks, and keep working on this. It's awesome.
     
  20. xist

    xist ΚΑΤΑ ΤΟΝ ΔΑΙΜΟΝΑ ΕΑΥΤΟΥ

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    I read the first part and then realised you'd just re-crafted the Persona 3 intro with Igor and the contract....